nctalielewis:
“Maybe something blue or light gray—” She murmured in that distracted way of hers, eyes blindly scanning from couch to walls. Natalie didn’t have any experience with color theory, either, but the palette hinted at peaceful. Calming. Everything she found in Ian and needed to keep her head from exploding during the day to day. Natalie jolted back from her wandering imagination - from the fledgling idea of bringing the beach and the ocean waves indoors - when he mentioned something about a cactus.
“God, you have that little faith in me, huh?” Her palm swatted Ian’s chest. “I’ll have you know it’s been a year since Cerbie accidentally came into my life—” although it wasn’t much of an accident when she stole him— “and he’s still kickin’.” The dog shared her trait of scrounging for scraps when life (re: Natalie) failed to supply. He was also probably waiting for her to pick him up from Bexley’s now that she’d officially settled in.
Her body pivoted on his lap. Pressed back to chest, draped arm over stomach. Then, when she was good and comfortable, Natalie helped herself to the second half of Ian’s sandwich. Out loud, she mused, “What’s more alive than that?” Her brain didn’t automatically operate in a maternal direction, so it took a moment for the pieces to fall into place. A wedge of sourdough and roast beef lodged in her throat. “Do you—” coughing, she slammed a fist to her chest, just once— “do you mean like… kids?”
The idea of growing a family probably should’ve been expected, but it threw her for a loop. Even if Ian wasn’t thinking about it, now Natalie was. Being a mother. Teaching someone how to succeed and thrive. She went still, save for a finger that flicked a piece of fallen lettuce off her thigh. “Shouldn’t we— I mean— we should probably be sure your family even wants me in it before we go addin’ my hopeless mess genes to the bloodline, right?” It took a few seconds before her eyes eventually gravitated to his face. Searching. Unsure. Was she way off base right now? Or had seeing Mike and Naomi take that leap inspired a similar urge inside of Ian? Without knowing, she proceeded gently and with caution. “We just— it’s not something we’ve talked about in a really long time.” Not since they were younger and untainted by the stain of all her bad decisions.
‘‘Light blue sounds like it could be good,’‘ Ian agreed. Definitely a good departure from any pink shades, but he doubted Natalie would have ever offered that. ‘’You know what that means, though?’’ He paused, waiting for a split second to see if any familiar memory might flash across her mind. Still, he didn’t want to keep her waiting for too long, despite the slight enjoyment he found in it. ‘’It means I get to see you undoubtedly make a mess and cover yourself in paint again-- I gotta admit, I wouldn’t mind being included in that whole thing,’’ Ian chuckled, recalling the last time they tried to paint a room together, that ended up in them covered in paint, a little high on the scent, but mostly on love. It was one of the fondest memories Ian harbored from their life together back in Kansas; it was the little moments that counted towards what they had now, the life they were building together and something great to look back on. Those were the reminders that despite the bad times they had had, there were some better times they could remember instead. Ian was good with that.
‘‘A whole year?’‘ Ian widened his eyes in faux surprise-- he wasn’t actually surprised at all. Natalie loved that dog and took care of it, but teasing her felt a little too good in the moment to pass up on. ‘‘You’re such a great dog Mom, I’m proud of you.’‘ On that, though, he wasn’t even trying to joke. ‘‘You think of bringing him back here finally? I promise I’ll try to clean up after him, too.’‘ It felt good to actually have another being to take care of, despite his wish to have a little bit more than a dog. Maybe they could always start there, see how they work in that setting. He was to find out about how she felt about it not long after, though. Seeing her cough, he patted her back absentmindedly as something bubbled up in his chest -- perhaps uncertainty that they wouldn’t be on the same page. He definitely did not expect them to be immediately, but what if they never actually are?
Moving her hair out of the way and to her back, Ian shrugged. ‘’I mean... my family wants me to be happy with the choices I make. They have never actually tried to meddle--’’ He admitted. He always needed to learn from his own mistakes. ‘’I don’t think they have much say in what I do with my own life, you know? If I’m happy with you... they’ll be more than happy with you, too.’’ His parents were not the typical in-laws; not nearly as nosey as some could be and he was always proud of them for it. Their main goal, as the only son they had -- was that he had someone and that he was happy with them. The rest was always up to Ian himself. ‘’I know,’’ He offered a soft nod. ‘’And I’m not sayin’ we have to work on it right now... but I mean,’’ He wasn’t sure how to explain it to her so she didn’t feel cornered. ‘’Don’t you think we’re ready for a bigger step? I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that’s not something that’s gonna change. I’ve always wanted a family with you and the more time gets away from us, I feel like we’re the ones who are losing. So why wait too long?’’










