My headcanons for what substances these LOTR and The Hobbit would most likely be addicted to.
Thranduil, Gandalf, Galadriel, Lindir, Arwen, Aragorn and Tauriel
"Their substance of choice"
A/N: This is meant to be fun don't get too caught up in details.
Thanks for reading. Enjoy
Thranduil
It's unbecoming for a king
Apart from the regular wine of course.
Won't lose control or dull his senses
But he definitively smoked a couple cigarettes when he found out Legolas was just touring Middle Earth with dwarves.
Even considered going on something stronger when he discovered Legolas was not just wandering around but heading for war (with a dwarf), later he decided to just soak on wine all night instead.
Has a hookah around but only for decoration.
Gandalf
Has done it all, seen it all and tried it all.
Now days he’s a strictly herbal man
Had Radagast develop a new cultivar just for him
Has a secret plantation and spends a crazy amount of time in the greenhouse.
Will not share his good stuff with you unless you are “part of the gang”
Galadriel
She had an adventurous youth
Now days she won't do anything regularly
If the use of something is traditional or cultural, she’ll try it, for scientific reasons.
However, once every couple of thousands of years, she’ll forget how weak she’s for alcohol and Celeborn will have to carry her home.
Lindir
Other drugs no, caffeine yes!
Runs on caffeine, prefers Conilon over Arabic
No sugar, no cream, just a regular strong black coffee.
Knows where to get the best freshly ground grains.
Will gift you the exact type he thinks matches your personality.
His coffee mug is his best in his moments of stress.
Arwen
No, she doesn't drink or use anything.
Her weakness is sugar
Loves to gift macaroons.
From a very young age she went in feral mode if anyone touched her treats.
Elrond often says she would scare even the Vallar if she went one day without her post meal sweat treat
Definitively went through a “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” fase while eating a copious amount of cake in her bed when Aragorn left.
Aragorn
Doesn’t really care to use anything for mood improvement
Yet all those years as a ranger surely comes to a price.
Suffers from chronic back pain
Takes religiously an ibuprofen or anything for pain before bed every day, two if a battle is coming, three if he has to become king of Gondor by next month
Often states he can quit them if he wants; he just doesn’t want to quit them now.
Tauriel
My girl boss captain of the guard graves a cigarette at the end of the day
She’s tried nicotine patches, but she really likes the ritual of smoking.
Has borrowed Thranduil a couple when he found out about Legolas.
Apart from alcohol she would never use anything else especially while on duty
Elrond, Arwen, Thranduil, Legolas, Lindir, Galadriel, Eomer and Eowyn
"Which careers or jobs would they take in modern days ?"
A/N: I wasn't planing on writing anything these days but really had to do this one, I am still working on writing most of the main characters, but I think I'll get an acceptable result soon enough.
THANK YOU FOR READING. ENJOY
Elrond
Diplomacy, he is wise and fair, would most likely work for some institution like the UN making deals between countries, his expended knowledge in politics, communication and international affairs would make him indispensable when making a world wrecking contract and potentially delaying the next civil war till next week; he loves to work a lot but never overworks. If his kids or his wife needs him, he will be there, has never lost an important event, and will not do it.
Arwen
She’s a big name on pharmaceutical and botanical research, always trying to find new cheaper ways to easy people’s lives will often go on site to collect new samples herself, makes sure everyone is safe and included, bakes cookies and takes coffee for everyone on final meetings. She’s always excited about the results. Just like her father, she manages her work success with her other passions like a pro; her family is always first of course, she took a very long maternity leave and goes on a “second” honeymoon every once in a while.
Thranduil
He was once a “normal” CEO. His firm was the best in hostile takeovers, buying and selling companies and merging and then putting in all apart again, sometimes even manipulating the market price to their client’s benefit, which was something he didn’t always agree on, but it’s better to be feared than live in fear. After his wife’s early passing, he dived headfirst into work, often overworking himself to exhaustion to the point of burnout, yet work is all that makes sense to him, he puts on an extremely well-tailored suit a godlike face card and goes to eat some sharks, actually he already has several change of clothes at his own office often going from meetings, to launch to dinners without going home and surely hasn’t had a peaceful homemade meal in months. He misses his old life a lot, all the time really, now that Legolas is out there living his own life he plans on taking some vacation, but he worries his son is not aggressive enough to keep up their firm’s reputation and way of working.
Legolas
Our favorite nepobaby, for a long time Legolas would not think about leaving his father’s side however he is now more open to exploring his own path in life, will try a bit of literally everything while living on his trust found, after some years of sabbatical living, he’ll come to the conclusion that his job does not define him as a person and that he would rather have time to focus on other parts of his life that bring him joy, eventually seteling on taking his place on the company board, to his father’s distress he would rather hire competent people to make all his non-essential job and enjoy time with his friends and family being often absent on long fishing trips with his best friend Gimli or spending most of his free time at home with the kids.
Lindir
This man loves clean and organized environments he would consider working on hospital if it only didn’t lack balance and art, top of the line, high profile event organizer, give him an idea and he will make you the event of your life and people will compliment it for ages. He’s a polite and easy-going firm believer of the “There are no accidents” policy and turns dust into gold if he must, however after a big event he might finish the night with a couple bottles of wine to wash off the stress.
Galadriel
Much like all the elves, she’s old money’s final boss, her family descends from low nobility of some small country, she loves to study and would be taking infinite classes, although she’s great with business her majors are in archeology and sociology. She has a gallery and spends her days curating and thrifting old pieces of art.
Eomer
Runs a horse farm, this man wants no other life than being outdoors a blue-collar worker through and through, he left town for a few years to become a horse specialized vet only to find life in the big city almost unbearable, being very independent he’ll do his best to make everything on his own from administrating the farm money to fixing the house’s floor, he loves to work since he’s very good at and it keeps his mind occupied on the important stuff will wake up extra early to fix some fences, go to town to pick up supplies and returning in time to start working with his horses, his philosophy is “If it’s broke find a way to fix it”, his hobbies are wood carving and taxidermy
Eowyn
Was really big on “boy sports” growing up would make her parents drive for hours picking her up from practice to practice and definitively won a couple too many medals in high school and college, much like Amelia Earhart she wanted to fly to the sun and do everything people say she couldn't, especially in male dominated fields. She served on the military for a while before becoming a pilot in training being the youngest woman to ever enter the program. She lives in a loft with her orange cat Merry, during time off her favorite place to go is to visit her brother on the old family farm.
Imagine you are training with the elves: Thraduil, Haldir, Legolas
TW: None that i'm aware of
Wordcount: I have no idea sorry :(
A/N : Had it on drafts for ages. I couldn't decide on a unique way to write them Thranduil and Legolas's readers are elves, Haldir's ambiguous. I really wanted to post the full version with Aragorn and others too but work is too much rn, I may add the humans and dwarves on a part 2, maybe ?ALSO english is not my first language (you know the rest)
Thanks for reading. Enjoy.
●•It's training season•●
Thranduil
Theres a couple thousands of years since he got on duel or a real single combat and there's a reason for it; he’s lethal.
Although he looks cold, there’s no doubt that he cares deeply for his kin, that's why he’s training you.
You were special. Ranking above everyone else, sharp senses, impeccable aim and ruthless with one sword in each hand.
Yet it took you a while to move past training swords when fighting him. His movements are deadly after thousands of years of training, experience, fighting things much scarier than a young elf who never left Mirkwood.
"You have caught my eye that's no easy thing. Your potential must not be wasted in vain, from now on you will answer directly to me."
You got a place at the main house guarding the king's door, with time he grow to trust you and give you more and more responsibility
It started with ordinary missions then secret missions, spying mostly, things not even Legolas knew about.
You would report to him when you returned, and on your days off he would spent a long hours perfecting your skills.
"Nearly perfect, let's do it again"
You knew he did it because he learned he could trust you it was on Mirkwood's best interest to have perfect agents capable of anything yet a part of you thought that maybe a tiny piece of him just wanted to spend more mundane time, training like he did with his father, maybe some time alone with you....
Haldir
Trainig will be hell.
Much like Thranduil his concerns with Lothlorien and the people he protects are well above anything else.
"If you fail it means I failed both myself and you, that's not going to happen"
He's not much of a talker but training means teaching and teaching means talking, so he would talk or better instructs you a lot.
At first it would be so rash you might consider given up every single day when you are alone and sore, with heating pads all over your body and yet show up extra early to acompanie him to the morning patrol.
With time you became his shadow, you knew your way around Lothlorien even leading a few patrols on your own.
The field training was a different matter, you were good on average, considering your background even better than anyone would expect. Training alone with the marchwarden was also a different matter he was definitely not holding back, to the point you would get some serious bruises
He would rather see you hurt in trainig than in batle
"It's a good thing this happened here where i can attend to you"
After a long time of this you really started feeling confident and ready. Leading multiple patrols and becoming an A tier warrior.
One random day after patrol report he asks you
"Has Lady Galadriel revealed where you heading next ?"
"Somewhere north, far away from here"
"It saddens me"
"Why?"
"Because you are ready to go"
Legolas
You were a prodigy healer training under Lord Elrond, after dealing with his wife departure, multiple wars, orcs, dwarves, the increase of evil and weakening of magic, he decided to send you out to Mirkwood, your ability would be helpful for king Thranduil.
The journey was hard and long you had never left Rivendell, at the borders of Mirkwood you were greeted by the prince himself and his company you two exchanged casual conversations most of the way.
“My lady, lord Elrond told us your training so far has been focused on medicine and healing, do you have any battle training?”
“Very little, Rivendell is quite safe I was able to focus on my healing skills; however, I understand your situations is... different”
“You are right, I will talk to my father, but I wish to train you myself”
It took you a while to get a hold to the ways of Mirkwood; your ability was being well used with the increase of giant spiders and orc attacks.
One day late in the night while you finished attending to the group that had been embushed you hear a faint knock on the door, to your surprise it was the prince
" Had it made for you, a bow is the best weapon for a healer, we cannot afford to lose skilled healers on the front lines"
"Thank you, my prince"
"Please, call me Legolas, we start tomorrow at first light"
You and the prince would start your training early in the morning before the first group left for patrol.
Legolas was sweet the type that might give a toothache, yet he expects nothing than perfection from you what was no easy task due to the continuous process of healing leaving you weakened physically and mentally, with time he starts to schedule your training time around your other tasks and to give more time to rest after taking care of everyone. Since there’s no estimate of when you would return to Rivendell, you both had literally all the time in the world.
Your frustration was clear when you were not perfect.
"No one expects you to be a great warrior in a couple months, just focus on your posture"
You looked at him with deep admiration; elves were known to be generally good at archery to be recognized as great at it was truly remarkable.
“If I might ask, why you are trainig me?
“"A dark shadow grows above us a kindhearted creature like yourself has surely felt it, you must be able to defend yourself"
“That I understand, but why you, surely one of your captains could be doing this”
“Home has not been feeling like home lately, spending time with you is good, makes focus on something else"
☆ A/N : So this is my coming back to writing, I don't really have much to say except thank you for reading this.
☆ Mentions: No use of Y/N, stablished relationship, explicit sex content, reader is sensory deprived, boundage, oral sex and fingering (recieving), depiction of multiple orgasms.
All images from pinterest, all credits to the original creators
- You can not desobey me like this. What will my soldiers's loyalty and respect be if it's known I can be easily challenged by a mortal?
- Meleth nin, I am so sorry.
And you really were very sorry.
His job his position in the guard were amongst the most sacred things to him and you knew it what made you feel heavy with guilt and disapointed on yourself, but part of you could not help but think this wasn't that serious of a matter.
- My dear wife, you have truly put me in a confilcting situacion.
He said standing in front of you, but something about him had change, his eyes were darker, his voice was deeper and the body language of someone who was anxious rather than mad or disappointed.
- There's three ways out of this, I will give you the courtesy of which you'd rather endure.
Your eyes widened and your heart skipped a beat, was all that really happening? would the sanctity of your marriage really treatned by this non sense? You had heard and even seen some situations that seemed comparable for what you did and not one go so severe of a punishment.
You were wiling to fight for your position and dignity, but first you would hear everything the marchwarden had to say.
- The first and my personal least favorite is banishing you from Lothlorien and be done with this matter for all ages, I must admit this one brings deep grief to me.
His voice deeper and lower, his composed figure still standing in front you, yet something was off about his attitude, you could almost grasp it but you had to be sure first.
- The second been, you, my lady wife will stand trial under elvish law and costume.
You knew very little about elvish laws and most of them wouldn't apply to you.
Your eyes widened even more and you could feel the anxiety down your spine and up your throat, you really thought this would go down a entirely different path, was this really this serious ?
You open you mouth to protest but before you could speak he took a step closer, really closer, leaning to your ear his fresh breath and silk skin touching the side of your face.
- And... the third is...
He whispered in your ear biting your earlobe softly. His voice alone would've made you melt but his bold touch had lightned a fire in you.
- Well, the third is we both forget about this and do something... more.... useful with our time now
Leaving a chain of very slow and well placed kisses down you neck and shoulders, his warmth made you forget how to breath. Your body was warm and wet already.
You really loved how his eloquence and composure would always seem to fade at least a little bit when you were intimate with each other.
- Meleth
You said between your heavy breath
- I ch....
-I choo..
-The third, i choose the third
He stoped everything and took a step back, taking his index finger to your chin lifting it up until you looked him in the eye.
- A most agreable choice my love, yet that does not mean you do not need to be punished for your lack of respect and transgression.
You finally understood this was no ordinary foreplay. And you were so into it. You decided to play along to see what ways this could be unfolded. What desires he seeked to fulfill, although whichever it was you were more than happy to engage.
- Yes, how must i be punished then ?
You asked in a provocative tone, letting your nightgown slit through your body
He smirked, some elvish form of a tempting smile you have never seen before, you could feel the anticipation in his face like he was expecting, pining and eagering for this moment for ages.
You knew you were damned, but your soaking wet undergarments seemed to not care about it... the more the better you thought to yourself.
"The more damned I am more fun this will be."
- Oh ithildin, you have no ideia what I intend to do with you.
His posture had complete shift, the air between you two was dense and warm. The anticipation almost tangible.
He walked through your talon and grabbed somethings you didn't quite see in the moonlight from his personal closet and placed them your bed side table.
Excitement getting the best of you at this point
- Tell me clearly, do you want this? Do you trust me?
This time it was you who smirked, looking at him like a feline.
- Yes, I do.
As soon as you finished, he grabbed you lifting you by the waist you crossed your legs over his torso
He laid you on your bed and just looked at you for a a couple seconds tracing your lips with his fingers before attacking your lips and neck again, his kisses were feral not violent or brutal but needy and eagering.
He stoped to grab something early placed on your bed side table.
-Let us begin then.
You were now blind folded, a strand of silk fabric wrapped around your head
Before you could even adjust your sight you started hearing more noise coming from the table.
First the soft feeling of your cotton undergarment being removed
And then
Your arms and then your legs, your husband was bounding you to your four bedpost bed.
You gasped. You liked it. A lot.
The feeling of total surrender was surreal, ethereal almost outwardly.
- Are you comfortable ? Anything hurting you ?
- I am fine.
- This is elvish rope, you won't be able to scape but it won't hurt either. You can wrench at your will.
The room was silent for a while, you assumed he was undressing himself.
The sensory and movement deprivation were a new feeling, a new good feeling, great even.
You felt a shift of pressure on the feather mattress.
And so it began
The punishment, the torture, the excruciating pleasure.
He was taking his time, using something you could only assume were a feather and some leather straps to tease you, never letting you know the next move.
Between rash strokes of leather straps on your stomach, thighs and breasts to soft touch of the feather on your niples, neck and face and his own hands alternating from firm rough touches to very soft almost unbearable slow touches, running his fingers through your whole naked body.
Then the kisses returned you felt the warmth of his lips first on the space between your breasts then coming up to your neck, ears, face and lips the all to way down to your stomach and thighs.
You had already lost all notion of time, place and honesty could barely remember your name.
A small pause.
- Oh ithildin, you have already made a mess of yourself. Can you feel this? The sheets are soaking wet. You are such a good girl always so wet for me
Again, before you came up with something to say, your body just arched, your hands grabbing the rope as strong as you could tensioning them.
When you finally got a hold to reality it was splendid, you felt his skiled tongue on your wet core.
There was something about your husband he was obsessed with succeeding in every part of his life and would take great pride on his victories.
He was devoted to this special part making you wet, wetter until your sheets were soaked, to hear you breathless, moaning, whispering nonsensical sentences a complete mess.
Unannounced came the first brutal wave of pleasure who would have let you shattered but you had no time for it there were others, many others coming like a domino never letting the previous one completely end before the next one strikes.
When you thought you could no longer bear it
Something devilish happened.
Two fingers moving inside of you.
Before he was playing with textures, sensations and pressure but here and now he knew exactly how you liked it, what motions to make, how much preassure, when to slow down when to go faster he knew your taste like his own home.
After what could have been seconds or days you finally reached your limit.
- I can't...
He immediately stoped
- Tell me to stop
You were suddenly really silent, that was some sort of torture for sure but you were basking in it as much as he has and you wanted to really know expand your limits.
- Now that's my good girl.
He said putting those two fingers into your mouth.
- You taste like a goddess
And back he was, making you twitch in susceptive waves of unspeakable pleasure, your body was literally numb from the contractions, your lips dry and you mind fogged.
Only one thought was really loud acking in your brain
- I want you.
You said breathlessly between moans.
- My dear Ithildin, there’s been no punishment enough for you
He said teasing you while licking your stomack.
You were 2 seconds away from losing all your self-respect and just start begging him however the acking feeling between your tights was way too intense for any regard of decency anymore.
-Please
It was not just the need of him making you crazy, you wanted to see him, to see him losing his composure inside of you, to run your fingers through his hair and touch his face, to touch him.
-Please what?
- I beg of you, I need it, I need you. Now
Your fogged brain just wasn't working anymore, you tried to press your legs together to make the burning heat stop, obviously unsuccessful because of your tied spread legs.
- You look so pretty like this, I might want to enjoy it more.
- Haldir, please fuck me
You said softly more like a purr almost crying, desperate for him.
He said nothing.
You could do nothing but imagine his expression, after all you had never been this expressive before.
Did he liked it ?
Suddenly you were seen all stars in the sky.
It was heaven on middle earth, it started slowly burning you from the inside out.
You thought you would faint when you felt his weight on top of you, his velvet skin touching yours hot and acking.
Your body returning to the numbing state every stroke seemed to reach the exact right spot.
Your eyes had long lost their way, you would roll them fiercely, the moans fading away, to just some heavy breathing you could not waste energy on them anymore.
You said some nonsensical sentence he answered in elvish between his deep moans in you ear but you couldn't comprehend him everything seemed to distant and unimportant
Your real limit was close, closer and even closer by the second
You wanted just one more
- Ha... hmm
- Haldir... On...
- Haldir, just one more please
You begged with your weak voice.
- As my lady wishes
He knew what you wanted and you knew he was close too.
Those last few strokes really gathered all your body's strength for that final act, now the distant night stars seemed more like a thousand suns.
He also collapsed
He removed the fold of your eyes but you did not opened them you wanted to bask in this feeling a little bit longer.
Then your arms and legs got untied falling to the bed. You felt him laying in bed by your side pushing you closer you crawled to his exposed chest, resting your head on him.
- Are you alright my love ?
He asked
You nodded your eyes were closed, your eyelids and almost every other muscle spasming your body finally feeling terrain again, ready to fall into what you knew would be the best sleep you've had since childhood.
Gathering your last conscious strength you just said.
- I should misbehave more often
☆A/N: Ithildin means moonlight
☆A/N: Thank a lot again for reading this and know i would donate my left kidney to you if i could, I didn't had much time to review this and i wrote mostly on the notes of my phone, sorry for any mistake i will be reviewing this soon.
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