happy ace place

lacey. she/her. ace. sometimes sex-favourable, sometimes sex-repulsed. always in crisis.

[icanseethepastabilities]

i forgot that sex existed and walked into the back of a spencer's shop the other day and was like 'o-oh right' as my face turned into magma.

(for those of you who don't know, it's filled with a bunch of sex toys and various things like that)

[shelbzxcupcakes]

Wanna be nosy? Here's your chance.

0: Height 1: Virgin? 2: Shoe size 3: Do you smoke? 4: Do you drink? 5: Do you take drugs? 6: Age you get mistaken for 7: Have tattoos? 8: Want any tattoos? 9: Got any piercings? 10: Want any piercings? 11: Best friend? 12: Relationship status 13: Biggest turn ons 14: Biggest turn offs 15: Favorite movie 16: I’ll love you if 17: Someone you miss 18: Most traumatic experience 19: A fact about your personality 20: What I hate most about myself 21: What I love most about myself 22: What I want to be when I get older 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) 24: My relationship with my parent(s) 25: My idea of a perfect date 26: My biggest pet peeves 27: A description of the girl/boy I like 28: A description of the person I dislike the most 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend 30: What I hate the most about work/school 31: What your last text message says 32: What words upset me the most 33: What words make me feel the best about myself 34: What I find attractive in women 35: What I find attractive in men 36: Where I would like to live 37: One of my insecurities 38: My childhood career choice 39: My favorite ice cream flavor 40: Who wish I could be 41: Where I want to be right now 42: The last thing I ate 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately 44: A random fact about anything

[tomorrowsunrise]

@icanseethepastabilities @pinkpiggy93

@sharkyle @dikotur @furbearingbrick

@haystarlight @largecoldbrew @cookiesversuscream @viciousracoonwizards

@artemis-the-catgrill @blood-on-my-bootheels

@crowleys-plant

[icanseethepastabilities]

19 - i'm absolutely bonkers and i have no regard for embarrassment or doing anything besides what makes me happy, even if that's disco dancing randomly in public. xD

Thanks for the tag, @tomorrowsunrise <3

[sorchamoonbeam-deactivated20240]

[gray-ace-space]

artist credit where

[icanseethepastabilities]

i almost had this exact conversation with a friend the other day and he was amazed that i couldn't think of a body type preference for someone i would date. meanwhile i can't believe allos would care so much about physical appearance :/

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

There's no right or wrong way to be ace or aro. However you're doing it is good.

[hebicakes]

asexuality, like many things, is a spectrum. no two people's experiences are the same. some asexual people are sex repulsed. some have massive libidos. some masturbate, some don't.

asexuality has never been about whether or not a person has sex. it's about not feeling sexual attraction, typically in a way comparable to average sexuality.

we understand that homosexuality is same sex attraction, so... why is it so hard to understand that asexuality means absense of typical attraction?

sex ≠ attraction, sex = pleasure

and some people want to have that pleasure, others are grossed out by it, and for some, it's never gonna come up in the same way most people don't think about sky diving every day.

flips a TABLE

(inb4 i forgot to mention every subset of asexuality... im demisexual myself, check out asexual.org for MORE INFO)

[icanseethepastabilities]

sometimes i just completely forget about sex. i enjoy it, but it's not something that's ever on my mind a lot. it's extra difficult being in a ldr with an allo because sexual things are only ever really enjoyable for me as an action that causes pleasure, but i get really squeamish when trying to sext or do things like that. these are struggles that allosexuals do not have, and it's something that makes ace umbrella identities so noticeable and impactful in our relationships.

[super-ace]

🤣

[hues-of-purple]

That’s it. I’ve found the perfect image. 😂

[icanseethepastabilities]

i'm so tired it's stopped being funny 😭

[scretladyspider]

“They’re too young to know they’re ace” oh no what’s the worst that happens, someone explores their experiences and finds that they learned about themselves? They try on a label you don’t like? They accept asexuality even if theyre not ace? What’s next, self discovery? Self love? What’s the worst that happens if they’re wrong? They know more about themselves?

[icanseethepastabilities]

i'm now making memes to avoid my homework and studying

[cakeinator]

A compilation of aro ace memes I find painfully relatable

[punk--ace]

A telling sign that I'm asexual is when people talk about having sexual "needs" with other people im dumbfounded thinking why don't you just do it yourself.....why do you need the other person there......and they're like ????????? What do you mean????????

[punk--ace]

This thought owns my whole brain mortgage free. I dont contemplate anything as much as I contemplate this. It just makes NO sense to me

[icanseethepastabilities]

this was one of the blaring signs to me that told me i'm asexual too

[andwefaeries]

On Aesthetic Attraction

I want to share a little, potentially helpful, thought to those who find attraction hard to understand.

Specifically, aesthetic attraction.

I've identified as asexual for 8 years now, and one thing that would have made this part of my sexuality a little easier to understand was having a fuller understanding of 'Aesthetic attraction'. I experience very strong aesthetic attraction and I'll often refer to people as 'hot' based on finding them really aesthetically attractive. I noticed others saying the same thing. But most explanations of aesthetic attraction would say something like "It's like finding the sunset pretty or appreciating the beauty of a painting" and for some, that may be true and it's certainly the simplest way of putting it. But for me it was something more than that, it was a lot stronger than just finding someone pretty. But it certainly wasn't sexual attraction... or really anything else. It's confused me for a long time, and I've seen other ace and aro people also sharing this confusion.

But then I realised that I'd forgotten something that is so obvious. It's called aesthetic attraction for a reason. It's being attracted to someone because of their appearance.

I saw this tweet today and felt it explains it in the best way I've seen so far.

"attraction based on a visual appreciation or captivation of the physical appearance or allure of another person" credit: azejournal

I feel maybe we ace and aro people forget that aesthetic attraction can still, very much, be a strong attraction - a 'captivation' by someone's appearance or, as the tweet puts it, even the 'allure' of them. You don't want to do anything with them, other than, perhaps, just look at them, draw them, etc.

Let's go back to the 'appreciation of the beauty of a painting' idea and adapt it to the way in which I now think of aesthetic attraction, which I've found very useful.

So say you're in an art gallery and you're a fan of art, you appreciate the beauty of them. Or maybe you're not really a fan of a lot of art, just the occasional piece. Nevertheless, you might look at a piece and think "Oh that's a nice one, yes I like the colours, it's very pretty and well done." And then you move on after a minute, and by the end of the day you know you found it nice to look at, but you've not got an urge to see it again. That's what a lot of previous descriptions of aesthetic attraction feel like to me. You appreciate the beauty of it but there's no attraction.

However, what I feel is perhaps a more accurate metaphor for aesthetic attraction is this: You enter a gallery and in a room full of art, there's one that catches your eye. You're immediately drawn to it - there's just something about it that interests you, that captivates you. Maybe it's really beautiful to you, or maybe it's not pretty in the typical sense of the word, but there's something about its appearance that attracts you to it. You look at it for way longer than other pieces. You might take a sneaky second look at it before leaving. At the end of the day, it's the one you think about and maybe you buy a postcard or poster to put in your bedroom so you can look at it again, and again.

And that's what aesthetic attraction is, for me. It's aesthetic, not romantic, not platonic, certainly not sexual, but an attraction all the same. And that's something I think is key to remember when you're confused about the crazy world of attraction.

[icanseethepastabilities]

THIS. THIS IS THE BEST DESCRIPTION I'VE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. *clap clap*

[jellyfishmakeoutparty]

another post for the sex-repulsed aces!! if you are uncomfortable talking about anything sexual, whether it be jokes or sexual advances from others/your partner(s) or even consuming sexual media, it’s okay that you’re uncomfortable with it! it doesn’t mean that you need to be fixed or force yourself into uncomfortable situations! it doesn’t mean that you’re not worth any interaction or love that you may have been given had you put yourself in those uncomfortable situations. you can be uncomfortable, you can tell others it makes you uncomfortable. you can set boundaries.

being uncomfortable talking about sex in any capacity does not make you childish. it does not make you a prude or a tease, it doesn’t make you immature. it doesn’t mean you’re not competent or that you’re unaware. you don’t need to provide a carefully crafted excuse to not talk about these things. if you are too tired or don’t have the energy to engage with sexual things (conversations, media, etc) then that’s okay! and if you only say things like that so you don’t have to say that you just truly do not want to talk about those things, then please know that you *can* say that. you can say “I’m uncomfortable talking about this, can we please change the subject” or “hey, I’d appreciate a heads up if you want to talk to me about this.” people who really care about you will listen.

you can set boundaries. you deserve to communicate, to be more comfortable and to be heard. you are not worth less because you are sex-repulsed. you are an aware, competent person. you are intelligent and your hobbies and interests matter. what makes you comfortable matters. you deserve as much love and support and comfort as anyone else.

[icanseethepastabilities]

when you're in a ldr with an allo and realize you can't just have the sexies and pretend to be allo too because dirty messages 😭

[icanseethepastabilities]

it continues to genuinely baffle me and is beyond my ability to comprehend how sex life can be a deciding factor in relationships.

[thefrogginbullfish]