finn

future missing person and insane dykepilled yaoibrained retard

[icarusplea]

this is my intro!!! 🦄🍩🌈🧁🪽🎉🐶⭐️🧃🧠🍎

🍼 ummm hi i am finn.. i am 17, autistic, and SUUUPER normal abt my interests!!

👑 i go by he/she/it + neopronouns and im aroace + generally very queer

🍭 i am profiction and anti-harassment/censorship, a radical inclusionist (NOT radqueer, but radqueer neutral/critical), and a fiction/otherkin

💒 i like a lot of medias and am in a lot of fandoms but mainly yaoi/yuri, bsd, golden kamuy, jjk, dmmd, really any n+c vns, homestuck, classic lit, death note, hetalia, dc, mlp, and more!

🛍️ on this account i will: shitpost, vent, post lyrics i like, livetweet (liveblog?) my thoughts and life, post art (rare), and talk about my hyperfixations

🫧 idk why im even making this bc i barely post and aint nobody gaf but yeah 👀 mutual me.

[icarusplea]

i really wish i could die i feel so much more miserable now

[icarusplea]

you ,,,, hi hi hi

hello whats up friend……. 😁

[icarusplea]

cus youre just a man, its just what you do. your head in your hands as you color me blue.

[icarusplea]

i cant believe i just actually walk around like this just being ugly and annoying and unkempt and badly dressed and tired and scarred and disgusting and annoying bothering everyone around me someone should kill me with a gun

[icarusplea]

drunk and reckless drivers are quite possibly the worst people to ever walk this earth

[icarusplea]

“i dont like the situation im in” can you change it “no” then move on

“i dont like the situation im in” can you change it “yes” then change it

both bad options

[icarusplea]

youre desperate in finding something else to please you, youve been searching your whole life. something to mute, change, or just distract you. something to put inside you to give the illusion of life, cause you've always been barely alive.

[icarusplea]

wait….. tojigumi

[icarusplea]

should i kill myself ?

[icarusplea]

just tell me to kill myself and ill do it, ill do whatever you want

[sasuke-naruto]

Naruto and Sasuke daily life

[icarusplea]

i know i look disgusting you dont have to tell me . i look in the mirror svery day and i see it i see how gross and strange i look . i have to live with it

the filth is inside of me and its seeping out through my pores

[icarusplea]

facepalm

[icarusplea]

HI FINN IT ME SILVIE ON MY BLINKIE BLOG:33

SILVIEEEEEE HELLO HELLO HELLO

[icarusplea]

everything is miserable

[icarusplea]

tw ed

i feel like an actual wannarexic faker because i relapsed on anorexia and then immediately told someone about it like its only been a little over two weeks since i started again and im already supposed to be recovering ebacsue i couldnt keep it to myself this is justs o horrible everone is gonna think it was just a phase and that i didnt even go through anything because i got help too soon i couldve gotten worse i barely even lost weight this time too i cant do anything right i cant even be mentally ill right bro im so weak i hate all of this im scared i cant do this everyone is gonna see me eating again and think i was never sick in the first place theyll act like it was never there and they wont be worried or concerned anymore and itll still torment me and this is all just horrible theyll think that im just gross and gluttonous and disgusting when they see me eating

and eating is so scary im hungry but i feel like if i just take it upon myself to eat itll be bad and everyone will think im disgusting i feel like i should only be eatingw hen its offered to me but even then its scary im scared of it it makes me wanna cry i cant do it i hate all of this

i went to the doctor yesterday and talked about all of it but my doctor wanted to keep talking about my mom and whatever and when i talked about how i felt suicidal i feel like he didnt take me seriously at all because he was like are you saying thay because you actually feel that way or because youre stressed out being here right now and obviously i was stressed out so thats why i was feeling suicidal but that doesnt mean i was any less serious i dont know what they want me to say to prove it to them like do i just actually have to kill myslef or something and apparently they maybe talked o my dad about wanting to hospitalize me AGAIN like no bro im not doing that i wont and you cant make me you seriously cant

thats part od the reason why today i told my dad i just didnt wanna get professional help for it at all anymore like we went to the doctor yesterday and thats enough for me whatever i talked to the doctor and it opened my eyes or whatever ill try to get better thats what everyone wants and thats what i should want so ill do it i just dont want to go back to therapy or the hopsital or whatever else i dont want to im tired of it

i feel bad too though because like in the original text i said “dad i dont wanna go to the doctor anymore or talk to anyone about it i wanna get better because i dont want to be miserable anymore but i dont want professional help for it ill do it on my own” and then we talked about it more when he came in my room this morning and he was like well we can go to the doctor on friday (because i mentioned suicidal thpughts i guess he wants to have another appointment idk) and get the referrals (he asked for referrals for therapy and stuff) and see how it goes from there and i was like Well we dont have to listen to the referrals we can just say we dont need them because idk i felt rejected so i responded kind of meanly sounding idk but i feel bad

and i just feel bad for all of this i feel bad for everything ive said to anyone about my mental health recently ebcause its all been really emotionally charged and i just feel guilty i feel bad