The words burn in your eardrums, echoing in the quiet of your room.
His breath is hot against your face and his eyes hold a sternness to them that you’ve seen before, just never directed at you. His arms against the wall beside your head blocks out all hope of escape. And you heard the click of the lock. He has you trapped here.
“I’m not lying.” You say quietly, trying to hold your voice as steady as you can. You don’t want to seem weak to him, God knows he’s seen you at your weakest to date, but you worry about what it is he’ll do if he finds your answer unsatisfactory.
You feel yourself trembling.
Levi looks at you, calculating, trailing his eyes over your face and down your body before raising them to meet your eyes again. He stares for a moment before he closes them, taking in a deep breath as his arms lower.
You feel a deluge of relief fill your body, almost sagging as he seems less aggressive.
Thank God, he believed me.
His closed eyes snap open, and this time there is a noticeable anger in them. His hands find purchase in your shirt and before you can get a word of protest out, the material is cleaved in half, wrested apart and exposing you to him.
You can’t stop the shriek as he tears the material off of you. Tears of fear burn in your eyes, and arousal burns in your gut. The combination makes you want to scream at him.
With your top now gone, your skin is clear for his greedy eyes to devour. And devour they do.
Grey runs over smooth skin, hardening to steel when it finds blue, purple, and yellow.
“Look at you.” He says harshly, voice a violent hiss though it's layered over a hint of genuine concern and something that feels like grief. “Look at you! You call this okay?” His hands run over your bruised ribs, and you cannot tell whether the tremble in his hands is from him or simply from your own form shaking beneath him.
“You say it like it isn’t entirely your own fault!” You snap back at him, though the heat is lost as your voice warbles and doesn’t come out nearly as strongly as you’d hoped.
Regardless, your words hit home, and you see how his eyes harden, jaw clenching as he grits his teeth. Thought in anger or agony, you cannot tell. His fingers press over your bruised chest and ribs, flickering with that same look of grief each time you whimper in pain.
It could've been hours he kept you there, pushing and making your blood quicken and pulse. But when he finally stops pressing, you’re on the verge of collapsing. Your breaths are coming in quiet pants, and your hands are clenched into fists by your sides.
Those eyes of his don’t meet yours again, instead remaining focused on the skin displayed before him. It’s only then that you feel a modicum of embarrassment at having your breasts be on display to him, though they still have some protection from his eyes as he hadn’t torn your bra from you. You’d been more concerned about him seeing the aftermath of your fall from the window, from trying to escape him, than preserving what little modesty you have when you’re in his presence.
Your hands come up in an attempt to cover yourself and his own wrap around your wrists. His hands are warm, and you swallow when they circle your wrists easily. Levi isn’t an overly big man, but he’s by no means scrawny nor weak. Had you not seen his display of strength the other night, the underlying strength behind his gentle touch would have told you everything you needed to know.
“Don’t..” his voice is soft, and the raw edge to it gives you pause. Levi’s eyes haven’t left the bruises on your chest, but they are pinched with pain. “Let me see.”
A moment of hesitation on your part is swiftly washed away by a sudden desire that fills you. You need to know why he’s acting like this. You deserve an explanation. Perhaps, this will tell you.
You nod, and slowly lower your arms back down, though his hands don’t let yours go, content to shackle you to him.
“Look at what I’ve done to you.” Levi speaks so quietly you could almost be convinced that he’d never spoken.
Finally, his eyes meet yours.
With the way the sun is coming in, his eyes shine bright like glass, and his mouth opens and shuts briefly, minutely.
Then, he’s leaning forward, pressing his lips to your skin. He doesn’t lave his tongue over it like you’re expecting. You watch on, intrigued and quite confused, as he simply leaves chaste kisses all over your bruised skin, his warm exhales leaving your skin covered in goosebumps.
Your brows furrow.
He’s not turned on. He’s not being rough. He’s being gentle. Soft. And his kisses aren’t meant to entice you but rather soothe.
Your eyes widen slightly in realisation.
He’s apologising.
The thought makes your head spin, and you slowly try to lift one wrist. His grip tightens, but when you don’t try to push him away, he lets go of it.
You gently run your hand through his hair, inky strands soft and running through your fingers like water. Levi’s really pretty, you realise, when he’s like this.
At your touch, he raises his head to be level with yours. He’s so close, and his breath fans over your face. It’s enough to make you tremble, though this time not in fear but with desire.
“What are you doing Levi?” You ask softly, voice cracking, “What are we doing?”
Levi’s face looks pinched for a moment, and you’re starting to see it: guilt.
“I..” Levi starts, voice hoarse, and his face is so close to yours that if either of you moved at all you’d feel his lips on yours again. Where before you’d only felt them devour and defile, you know now that they can soothe and be gentle. A part of you wants his gentleness. A part of you wants him to kiss you.
“I’m gonna make tea.” He pulls away suddenly, and leaves your room, nearly throwing the chair that he’d barricaded the door with aside.
He goes and he leaves you panting and wanting and wondering.
What the fuck was that?
~
The kettle roars and the noise does nothing to drown out the thoughts.
Pretty, soft skin mottled, a canvas splattered with blue and purple and yellow. A canvas that should only be dotted with splashes of red and pink. The only marks your skin should bear should be red and pink, like the petals that fall from the cherry blossom trees outside. Marks he’s given you.
The look in your eyes when you look at him: fear, hurt, lust.
Levi’s fist slams down on the counter, and he takes a deep shuddering breath.
He hadn’t wanted to hurt you. Never. He just wanted you to listen to him. He just wanted you to learn. He just wanted….
The kettle clicks. He sighs again, and with a slight tremor in his hands he makes himself a cup to drink. The familiar taste of Earl Grey washes over him and settles his nerves. He doesn’t know what to do now. He isn’t sure where to go from here. That and he wanted so badly to kiss you again. That first night, he’d been desperate. He needed to feel you. To taste you. To finally feel you in his arms.
Levi’s eyes slide shut as he remembers how sweet you were in his arms, when you’d finally fallen asleep and he’d spent the rest of the night breathing in the scent of your shampoo, your perfume, you. He had wanted so badly to sleep, to join you, but he couldn’t. He was too greedy to do that.
And that night, when he’d finally gotten to see you for the first time after. He doesn’t usually call mid-week, but he couldn’t restrain himself, despite your mother’s shock, and the suspicious look in Kenny’s eyes. He had to see you.
And there you were. Sitting waiting, adorable, skin displayed for no one but yourself yet his greedy eyes devoured the offering nonetheless. He’s well versed at this point at stealing as much as he can when it comes to you. Even before he lost control, he was well practised at taking what you would give. Seeing you at dinner every Sunday, listening to you when he would be watching TV and your general presence soothed him.
You had looked so fragile on the sofa, so afraid of being caught by your mother that you didn’t seem to care that you’d long been caught by him.
He’d had to restrain himself from kissing you then and there. It would’ve done no good, especially when he’d felt his uncle’s eyes on him. He’d spent nearly an hour in the shower trying to calm himself down.
When cold water hadn’t worked, he’d taken himself in hand, just like he did that first night. He’d had to sink his teeth into the meat of his forearm to hide ant noises that the water wouldn’t cover. He doesn’t know how many times he’d cum before he felt himself settle. The water washed away the evidence that had splattered on the tiles. It reminded him of when he’d finished on your stomach, how pretty and sinful you looked.
He’s changed his mind. Your skin should only be marked with three colours: red, pink, and white.
Levi chuckles when he remembers how you’d finally listened to him, and started barricading your door.
Good. You’re learning. He won’t have to worry as much.
A noise behind him.
He turns to see you, standing vulnerable and open. He watches as you shift nervously, and he’s curious.
“Want to watch a film with me?” Your gentle voice says, and he has to hold on to the counter to stop himself from collapsing.
His mind is a hurricane of questions.
With me? You want to watch a film with me? Really? Have you forgiven me? Which film?
He asks none of these questions.
He simply smiles and follows you into the living room.
Sitting there with you, Levi feels like his heart is going to burst. He really wants to put his arm around you and hold you close, but he restrains himself for now.
He’s curious about this. It’s unlike you. You have asked him to watch films together before but given recent events he’d spent a lot of time having to come to terms with the fact that one of his favourite past times (watching you watch films from the corner of his eye) was over.
Still, you sit next to him, at a respectable distance, probably expecting him to close it.
Levi smiles softly to himself, and waits.
~
~
~
I hope you all enjoyed this - I certainly enjoyed writing it.
We finally get to see some of Levi's thoughts too, which was very fun!
I had to refrain from using the word "skedaddled" to describe him leaving the reader's room, as it conjures up images of Scooby Doo running away.
Tumblr has been acting up for me so my updates on here were a little behind - please feel free to check out Sick at the Heart on AO3 also.
Ur stepbrother levi series is so amazing. I never thought i would read such but truly it captured my interest. I love it so much. Thank you for the efforts in writing this. I hope part 5 would be out soon, i am excited so much. Have a nice day!
Hi, this means so much to hear! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! I’ve been having trouble with tumblr lately but I’m hoping part 5 will be up soon! Please feel free to check it out on AO3 also, as I don’t have any issues posting there.
Here, with your friend, with no expectation to leave, an open invitation with no expiry date, you can finally breathe.
You lie on her sofa, sprawled out in a way that is the picture of calm and relaxation.
Levi is securely away from you for now, and he has no authority to come barging in here without making a total fool of himself. The image of Levi squaring up to your friend’s father has you giggling where you lie, making your friend giggle too - contagious laughter and all that - though you think she must think you’re laughing at the TV.
The weekend has passed in peace - you ate pizza, played video games, screamed like children at said video games, and laughed until your sides split.
It’s paradise.
You don’t tell her about Levi. About what he did. You know you could, but you don’t want to think about him. You don’t want to think about his hands, the way they make you feel, the way your heart races when you think about him.
You’d much rather enjoy her company and pretend.
When Monday comes, you’re not as nervous as you were when you arrived. No longer a jittery, teary ball of nerves ready to collapse in a heap on the sofa. In fact, you’d almost go as far to say that you’re back to normal.
Or, at least, as normal as you can get these days, all things considered.
“You know you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you want, babe!” Your friend says, sitting curled on the sofa next to you as you text your mum to tell her to come and get you.
“I know.” You say, smiling back at her in gratitude. “Maybe next weekend, if you’re free?”
Your friend scoffs incredulously.
“If I’m free she says, what else would I be doing?” You laugh at that, and she kicks lightly at you teasingly. Back before your mum had gotten married again, you had spent nearly every weekend with her, comfortable in that routine. With the sudden expansion in the family, you’d felt it better to stick around the house more often, if only because Sunday Dinner suddenly became something which felt taboo to miss.
Maybe, getting back into old habits wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
“She text you back yet?” She asks between footering with her phone, and watching edits and kicking her feet at them.
You check.
Me: Hi mummy! You okay to pick me up at 1?
xo Mum xo: Yeah pet! I be there! Xoxo
Me: Awesome, see you soon! Xoxo
xo Mum xo: 👍 xoxo
“Yeah, she’s gonna get me in like ten minutes I think.”
You both lapse into familiar silence, sprawled together and discussing the same things you have always discussed.
As it always is with you two, time seems to pass in a flash and it isn’t long before you hear the tell-tale sound of tires on gravel, and you see the familiar shape of your mum’s car pulling into the drive.
“That’s me now.” You say, standing and cracking your back with a groan. I’m getting too old to pull all-nighters, you think, grabbing your things and walking to the door.
“Text me when you get home!” Your friend says, pulling you close for a hug and waving you off.
You open the car door, tossing your bag into the footwell and getting in.
“How’s it going?” You ask, not even looking up as you put on your seatbelt and wave to your friend.
“Pretty shitty having to carpool on my day off, not gonna lie.”
Your body freezes, praying that your mum had suddenly developed a severe throat infection causing her voice to drop and a penchant for swearing but as you turn you’re greeted with the familiar profile of Levi. He’s casual, black t-shirt on despite the heat, and sunglasses sitting low on his nose. He turns to you, looking over the rims.
“But I guess life’s a bitch huh.”
You say nothing as he puts the car in gear and drives off. The drive is silent, the radio on low and Levi tapping gently on the steering wheel. But you can’t focus on that. The whole space is filled with Levi, his presence, his scent, his sounds. It’s filling your head, and your legs tremble slightly.
“Did you have fun?” Levi asks, and the sound of his voice makes you jerk in surprise, having expected him to remain silent and brooding the whole way home.
“Yeah. Yeah, it was fun.” You say quietly, keeping your eyes on the scenery passing by. You feel like Levi can hear the hammering of your tell-tale heart, that he’s aware of how much he’s affecting you without even looking at you. Although, he could be looking at you. You wouldn’t know. You’re trying your best not to look at him.
“What did you get up to?” Another question. It makes your fingers clench in the fabric of your jeans. Does he actually want to know? Or is he just wanting to torture you? To lull you into a false sense of security? What does he want from you? Is he going to talk about it? Has he been thinking about it as much as you have? Has he been thinking about you too?
“Not a lot.” You grit out. His nonchalance makes your skin itch and had he not been present, you would have been rubbing at your arms or shaking out your hands. You settle for pressing on your nails, adamantly refusing to look at him. “Just the usual.”
The both of you lapse back into silence.
The radio buzzes in the background.
“You’re not working today.” He speaks again, and you inhale slightly. It’s phrased like a question, but Levi manages to make most things he says sound like statements or, often and much to the dismay of others, judgements.
“They weren’t looking me in today.” He hums at your answer and you’re desperately tempted to glance round at him, to look at him, but you resist the urge. It’ll only confuse you more.
“Thanks for lifting me.” You say, hoping that politeness will temper any bad mood or feelings that might be forming inside him at the fact that he’s had to waste time collecting you.
“It’s no bother.” He replies, and his voice is deadpan and tired as usual, but his meaning is soft. Maybe he’s being soft for you.
You put the notion out of your head.
“Why’re you in Mum’s car, by the way?”
“She’d blocked me in. Plus she was heading out to some bullshit, I don't know, I wasn’t listening. She asked me to get you and said I could take her car cause she was taking Kenny’s.” He explains, and you note the derision with which he says his uncle’s name. You know there’s some complicated history there, but the two of you aren't exactly close enough to get into it. Despite recent events, you don’t think it's the kind of thing you can just ask about out of the blue.
“Makes sense.” You nod. You don’t see it but Levi looks at you briefly, greedily observing you before turning his eyes back to the road.
The rest of the drive is spent in tense silence, and you’ve never been more grateful to see the familiar drive of your house.
The gravel crunches under the tires as Levi pulls the car in behind his own, blocking himself in once more.
As Levi pulls on the handbrake, you’re quick to reach to click off your seatbelt but his grip around your wrist stops you.
Your breath hitches, your heart beating loudly in your ears as your nerves fray once more. Levi’s touch is firm, warm, and overwhelming.
He does nothing more than hold your hand in place.
“You wait.” He says firmly, gunmetal eyes flashing as he looks at you, sunglasses held in his fingers about the steering wheel. “You wait until I turn the car off before you take off your seatbelt. No one ever teach you vehicle safety? Christ, and you want to live on your own?” He scoffs.
You want to rage against him, to gnash your teeth and tell him what a complete bastard he is sometimes, but you don't. The weight and warmth of his hand is making you stumble around your own thoughts, and words are harder to form.
His eyes are too intense, and your own flick briefly to his hair, falling into his face in a way that shouldn’t be as attractive as it is. You notice the cut by his hairline.
“It’s healing up.” You say, the words out of you before you realise you’ve said them.
Levi’s grip tightens minutely, his eyes taking on that strange look again, the same one from that night.
He nods, watching your face for any flicker of feeling.
“You winded yourself pretty badly.” He says, and if you were being generous to yourself, you’d go as far to say that his voice may even be tinged with guilt. “You’re not bruised right?”
His face is guarded, but his concern seems genuine.
You mumble out a “no”. He doesn’t need to know that you are. That’s not important right now. You haven’t prepared yourself for this conversation. In fact, you’ve been actively avoiding it. Levi seems content to watch you eerily, and the tension in the car doesn’t bode well for you.
What’s behind me doesn’t matter.
With that thought, you pull from his grip and open the door, quickly making your way up to the front door.
You’re in the hall when you hear his door shut and you quickly make your way upstairs, hoping to kill the time in your room until your mum gets back. Quickly, you make your way up the stairs, and into your room, dropping your bag at the foot of your bed.
The click of your door has you spinning around in time to see Levi place the chair under the door handle, just like you’ve taken to doing these past few nights. Though, where it is intended to keep him out, now all it’s doing is trapping you in here with him.
You tremble, stepping backwards as he turns those piercing eyes on you once more.
He takes a sure step forward, backing you up against the wall, his arms blocking out your peripherals, so you have no choice but to focus on him.
You whimper in fright and something shameful you don’t want to acknowledge.
“I don’t appreciate being lied to.” He whispers, his breath ghosting over your lips.
Oh, Christ.
Notes:
In the words of Nico from DMC 5: I know, I know, I'm late!
Apologies that there's been such a delay with this chapter - life has been hectic recently and I just haven't had the chance to sit down and crack into this fic in a while.
Hopefully though, I'l have the next chapter up for you soon - it's already in the works - and that updates won't be nearly as delayed! (Plus, I think you'll enjoy what's coming ;) )
Thank you again for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
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