i was going thru my drafts just bc and i found this fic i was writing THREE YEARS AGO and i read the whole thing and was annoyed at myself when it abruptly ended WHY WAS IS SO GOOD?!? whenever i have free time im going to try my best to write it and finish it. like its so good im so proud i want other people to read it aswell i need to publish it so like sneak peak ???
description: what happens when your management wants you to fake date another streamer for publicity? seems easy, if you didnât have a crush bigger than your storage.
remember: male implied reader but can also be gn with he/him preferred pronouns! steamer smau! blank & ageless blogs dni or im blocking you ^^
warnings: swearing, suggestive themes at times cause my two favourite idiots r main characters, slight angst, mostly fluff
note: yeah reggie has 50 other smaus, does he care? no, is he making another one? yeah. kenma needs some sugar lovin on here so iâm here to provide :3
taglist: open
ryusxke 2022. reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated. pls do not repost or modify on this or any other platform.
that trend on tiktok where itâs like âreal mandela effectâ and the haikyuu fandom is killing it lit everyone gaslit the whole fandom into thinking oikawa had a knee injury
ę° SYNOPSIS ęą : working at a funeral home can take its toll. aka mattsun comes home after a bad day at work.
ę° CONTENTS ęą : hurt/comfort, pining, cigarette smoking, mentions of death, mattsun has the beginnings of an existential crisis : WC â 1.7k
ę° NOTES ęą : i wanted to take a closer look at mattsun & readers relationship. it was going to be more suggestive but i wanted to show a diff side of their relationship :3 enjoy !!
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! (*á´ÍËŹá´Í)âĄ*.ďž
it was one of those days that felt too quiet. living with mattsun and makki ensured living a life that was always full of laughter, full of life. but there were certain days where it felt like the earth stood still.
days when mattsun would come home from work, the light shifted from his eyes as he was off in a far off space that neither you nor makki could pull him from. one where he would slip through the halls, directly to the balcony, and with a shaky hand â heâd light his cigarette.
he loved his job, he always told you guys that. but you also knew that some days took a toll. one where he had to remove himself from reality a bit just to cope with whatever horror he had to deal with. because when youâre dealing with the dead, itâs hard not to let it seep into your soul.
âthink heâll be okay?â you ask makki. the two of you seated on the couch with some show playing in the background. but your conjoined attention was on him, even though you tried your best not to make it obvious.
âhe always pulls through.â he nods. but you can tell in his eyes heâs just as worried. usually makki could crack a joke or two and bring a smile back out on his face, but when he tried today, he was met with a blank stare. âmaybe youâll have better luck breaking through to him.â
âhuh? why?â you ask, pivoting your body towards him. âyou already tried and it didnât work. what makes you think iâd have better luck?â
âwell, for starters, you are fucking him.â he said nonchalantly. the heat rose to your face as you reached for the nearest pillow, throwing it at his face. he easily dodged it as it flew past, hitting the blinds and ultimately, the glass door to the balcony mattsun was still standing on.
you gulp as mattsun turns to look at the commotion inside, his attention now fully on you instead of wherever distant place it was before. you offer him a small smile before he turns back around, taking another drag of his cigarette.
âi cant believe you said that.â you hissed out at makki who could only laugh.
âoh, was it supposed to be a secret? you guys are not very subtle then.â he giggled before he peeked outside again. âbut now youâve done it, so why donât you go out there?â
âyou really think heâll want to talk to me?â your voice was small, insecurity closing around your throat. makki offered you a genuine look, one that told you more than words ever could.
âyeah. i really do.â
with that, you make your way outside while makki retreats into his bedroom. you open the door and youâre met with a gust of wind that has you stumbling outside.
âwatch your step.â mattsun muttered before sticking the cigarette back in his mouth. it was clear he was frustrated, the wind constantly blowing out his cigarette certainly didnât help either.
he goes to light it again, the lighter stubbornly refusing to work. he let out a loud groan, throwing the cigarette beside him on the ground before pocketing the lighter. you almost wince.
âissei-â you coo, getting closer.
âwhat?â his voice wasnât harsh but it wasnât his usual laid back tone either. everything in you wanted to rush back inside and hide out in your room.
âyou wanna talk about it?â you ask softly, standing next to him as you both look out at the city. he glances at you quickly before looking back out there.
ânot really.â
âokay.â you nod, still not moving. after a few moments of silence, you feel mattsun shift, his forehead crashing down against your shoulder as he leans against you for support. you almost jump at the sudden contact.
âit was just a bad day.â he sighed, his breath tickling your skin. âa long week, really. it felt more busier than usual. so many families to talk to, so many things to do to prepare the bodies, iâm just exhausted.â
and you could hear it in his voice. his earlier clipped tongue melted into something softer and syrupy sweet. one that tugged at your heart.
âiâm sorry âsei, that sounds like a lot.â you keep your voice light as you pivot your body around to hold onto him better. you could tell heâs been holding this in for far too long.
âthatâs not all.â his chin rested on your shoulder now and you knew he was looking far off again. âsomething else happened today when they brought a new body in that pushed me over the edge.â
âwhat was it?â for a moment, he didnât answer, trying to summon up the words he desperately wanted to say. you could tell he was twisting them around in his mouth before he spewed it all out in one breath.
âthey couldnât identify the body for awhile. they kept saying it was a jane doe coming in. and then she came in, all covered up and her hairââ he swallowed thickly. âlooked just like yours.â
âoh.â was all you could say before he kept going.
âi thought-â his arms tightly wound around you. âi donât really know what i thought. i knew it wasnât you, but there was just a voice that kept saying, what if? and i freaked out. i could barely do it.â
âhey, itâs okay.â you rub his back soothingly, letting him fall apart a little bit. you squeeze him back so tightly to try and mend him back together. and part of you almost believes it works. âiâm okay, youâre okay.â
âdays like these i hate my job because it just puts too much in perspective. i try not to have a negative outlook on life but itâs hard when all i see everyday is how it ends.â he sighs as your fingers find his hair, smoothing through the small, tangled waves that have taken refugee.
âwhatâs that one quote? itâs not the destination, itâs the journey?â your voice as a light lilt to it that has him letting out an amused scoff. âiâm sorry you had a rough week, issei. your job is a heavy one and i know itâs hard to remain optimistic. but itâs a hell of a reminder that youâre alive right now and you can make the best of it. weâll make every day count, even if itâs something as simple as eating our favorite foods. okay? youâre not alone.â
he lets out a soft hum in response and everythingâs quiet for a moment. even the wind simmers down into a softer breeze while issei finds sanctuary in your arms. itâs a rare sight seeing him like this â one that never failed to tear at your heartstrings, clipping them one by one until it relents and falls right into his hands.
âthank you.â he sighs out, straightening up and loosening his hold on you. itâs sickening how much you already miss the closeness, and it only grows worse as he steps back and out of reach. âi needed that.â
âanytime.â you bite back the âthatâs what friends are forâ line youâd normally use because youâre pretty sure youâve crossed that line. plus that could potentially start a whole new conversation that you werenât ready to open just yet.
issei takes out a fresh cigarette and successfully lights it this time, a look of brief satisfaction taking over his features. you almost want to remind him that thereâs a better use for his oral fixation but decide against it as you watch him inhale.
there was still something swirling around in the air, mixing itself within the smoke before drifting away from your grasp. no matter how hard you fought to hold onto it, it wasnât yours to take. the question sits on your tongue, marinating with your thoughts as it takes you further and further away from him.
âso, whatâs up with you?â isseiâs voice breaks the silence, shattering the glass wall you were desperately trying to build a second ago.
âwhat do you mean?â you tilt you head, hoping to feign innocence long enough for him to drop the loaded question and move on.
âitâs justââ he looks at you, studying you for a moment with his slightly narrowing eyes as if he was trying to peer into your very soul, piercing through your skin so he can see what truly lies under it. âyou seem unsure lately.â
âwhat would i have to be unsure about?â you breath out so quickly all the words melt together.
âyou tell me.â those three words sent your mind reeling. leave it to him to stir up all your thoughts, all the ones you tried hiding between the lines.
âits nothing.â you sigh. âi was just worried about you this week, thatâs all.â
âthatâs all?â
âyep.â you brace yourself to look back at him and almost wish you didnât. a chill that had nothing to do with the wind ran down your back, almost nudging you closer to him. but you steel yourself, holding his gaze. âthatâs all.â
âokay then.â he sighs, turning around so heâs facing the glass door to your apartment. âletâs just order take out and hang out then.â
the invitation was so simple. something that felt practiced, routine. every cell in your body was ready to agree to it without a second thought but something stopped you. how deep were you willing to go for him without a promise of more? and why did it seem like the length was endless, youâd free fall even if he wasnât there to catch you. and the thought scared you to your core.
something had to be done though, you couldnât keep trying to tread this riptide. maybe if you took some space from him, tried going on a date with someone elseâŚ
you shake the thought from your head. regardless of what should be done, it wasnât the time right now. mattsun was standing in between the glass door waiting for you with a foot on either side. the small smile growing on his face filled you with so much warmth, dousing another level of confusion to your swamped mind.
âyeah.â you nod, making your way to the door. âbetter tell makki though, i have a hunch heâs been feeling left out lately.â
ohhhh my god ur making a return iâm so excited!!! my king has finally returned đđžđđž itâs crazy we came back around like the same time our brains r so connected like that đŠâđڞđŞ˘đŠâđڞ
yez qweens we are BACK !!! the universe said âtheyâre not readyâ and sent waves to our brain to bring us back together đđ§âđڞ
so reg has recently split from her bf (anyone remember drummer boy yeah we finally got together) but it was all on okay terms heâs just going thru a lot of shit and doesnât want me around it and needs to work on himself.
so we are quite fragile rn bc still have a lot of love for them and itâs v hard rn but iâm back and hopefully for a while !!!