An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
My Lost Ark fics can also be found on AO3 (because, at this point, why not), including some VERY NSFW ones. And yeah, there will be more.

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@ideal-insomnia
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
My Lost Ark fics can also be found on AO3 (because, at this point, why not), including some VERY NSFW ones. And yeah, there will be more.
RU Lost Ark made a tiny announcement: next update is coming on June 10th and it will be called "Sacrian Intrigue" (or Secrets of Sacria, or something to that effect).
(UPD: Yeah! We're getting new story on June 10th! It's the new island, Kadarum, that serves as a gateway into the Sea of Aldebaran!)
The problem is... I will be moving houses shortly and won't have access to my PC for maybe a full month or more. And I'm going slightly somewhat VERY feral because of that. GIVE ME MY SACRIAN CONTENT NOW!
(But, on the other hand, maybe this forced break will give me time to polish a super dramatic fic I wrote after finishing the Kazeros story finale).
Does anyone know if there's a place to watch Hyper Awakening (Alt+V) animations for every class? Because I'm pretty sure those aren't in the Book of Memories, and some of them are really cool! (taking screenshots is a challenge though, everything is too fast)
I love both Hypers on my Reaper, very cool looking. The one on my Aeromancer is pretty cute, but not as exciting imo. Haven't gotten to that point yet with my Deadeye (this guy will be a very slow project).
Today is the 986th birthday of Xin Qiji (辛弃疾, (28 May 1140 – 3 Oct 1207)) , a famous Southern Song dynasty poet, military general and calligrapher. And I happen to be quite a fan of his poetry (as much as one can be a fan while not being fluent in the poet's native language...). So, here's a translation of one of his poems I did on the fly!
At night on the road to Huangsha. (月夜行黄沙道中) The moonlight drives a magpie from its branch, Cicada's song is carried on the wind, The fields are fragrant, and to harvest rich The frogs in midnight ponds all sing an ode. In heavens high a scattering of stars. A mountain cloud will shed a drop of rain. On this old road, beyond the bridge ahead There stood a humble cottage long ago.
Yay! Finally (FINALLY) collected all the Masterpieces! The ones that drop from Cube took... a lot of tries. Luckily, I kinda like running Cube, so it wasn't that much of a chore. The background is pretty nice!
But, speaking of backgrounds... I don't think anything will ever top the Summer Concert one for me. It's cheesy, but I just love it. It always puts me in a relaxed mood, and the music is nice.
But really, I love it. It's a shame that it was limited and newer players don't have it. Plus, I might be wrong, but it seems like... NA server didn't get it at all? Maybe they'll add it this summer then?..
Current (active) roster!
Clavaria, the Reaper.
My main! Am I playing her all kinds of wrong? Yes. Will I abandon her for some shiny meta DPS? No. I love her. And I love the absolute button mash fest that is her gameplay.
Random headcanon: Has a major case of Catholic guilt, despite being neither Catholic nor religious. Was told that Delains are bad and should feel bad one too many times and internalised some of that stuff.
Story behind the name: It's a mushroom lmao. A really cool mushroom that looks like little horns.
Cerreus (aka Emory), the Deadeye.
New guy, but I honestly love him! Love the gameplay, the maniacal laughter and the fact that he's kinda... smol and fragile-looking, by local standards at least.
Random headcanon: Several joints in his body are biomechanical prosthetics. The one in his right arm is faulty though, and he has to use stims to alleviate the pain and keep his hand steady. The stims are very bad for his health, but who wants to live forever anyway?
Name: Cereus Emoryi is a resilient desert cactus! A fitting name for an Arthetinian if ever there was one.
Almizalla, the Aeromancer.
Side-project alt created for fun. Cookie-cutter caster build, because I wanted a character with a distinctly different gameplay. Absolute monster, murders everything in cold blood with minimal investment, makes my mains feel inadequate in comparison.
Random headcanon: No thoughts, head empty, immune to trauma, wins every fight with the power of sunshine, friendship and incredible violence.
Name: It's just "parasol" in Arabic - both the actual parasol and the parasol mushroom, Macrolepiota procera.
+Most wanted new class: Male Mage! I want a Sylvain Wizard, and I want him to be *~fabulous~* !
Me when I have to fight my favs while doing Paradise.
I kid you not, last week I had to kill my favourite priest six (!) times: 4 times in Paradise, 2 more times while doing Cube. At least in Paradise he's paired with Osphere (aka Osfio), and I never say no to beating up Osphere, but still! And then one Paradise run also had Mariu and Zeherade, and one Cube run had the entire Tarun cast from Rowen! That's just cold, game!
(why is it even called Paradise? More like Extra Hell at this point!)
Do you ever randomly remember a character from an old movie/tv-series/book you used to really like when you were, like, nine? A character you didn't really think about all these years, to the point where you forgot what their name even was? And then you remember, read a wiki page about them, then look at the stuff you write right now and go: "Ohhh... That certainly explains a few things".
Because this was me today with Methos from ye olde Highlander TV series. Damn, he was cool.
And yeah, I guess there's a reason why my fanfics (especially the unpublished ones) are so ridiculously dramatic and sappy. And you, mister "Because the alternative is unthinkable", are definitely a part of the problem!
(actually, nevermind, there is no problem, I enjoy being a sentimental mess, and I genuinely believe those late 90s/early 00s tv shows did me way more good than harm)
Welp, I beat the game played the big Finale at last! I went and watched the Act IV raid vids on YouTube, but, surprisingly enough, there wasn't that much there of any real substance. And as for the quest itself.......
=Spoilers for the Kazeros story arc finale!=
Phew, that was a LONG ASS quest. I understand why it had to be just one big quest without any breaks, but it started to get a tad exhausting at some point. Big finale and all that, but still, I think they overdid it just a tiny little bit. (Overall, I'm not complaining though, compared to the absolute trainwreck that was Star Rail Amphoreus Finale, LoA is still miles better).
Pretty big lorebombs being thrown around left and right, still kind of in the process of thinking about all that stuff. And finally the power of the Ark itself!
The game spooked me AGAIN by throwing my favourite priest at me the very moment we step back on Arkesia. I mean, I'm not complaining.........
The final battle against Kazeros was pretty damn cool, although at that point I was starting to lose focus, everything was so grandiose and loud it was a bit too much. Still very cool though.
I laughed pretty hard at the whole "Kazeros was actually a poor little meow-meow, he meant well!" thing. Yeah, no. I did like Thirain's speech on the subject, the one where him and Nineveh discuss the possibility of Kazeros actually being Regulus himself.
Poor Armen. But, truth be told, I always had the feeling that that was where his storyline was headed. I even addressed that in my very first fic (although my fic was, ultimately, kinder to the characters).
Rest in peace, kind soul.
The song was beautiful too.
New guy! Tbh, not a fan of his design. Same thing as Pahu: too doll-like and cutesy. I guess that's the new trend in KR, but, eh. I already have a white-haired, grey-eyed pale priest I like. Solid voice acting though.
Speaking of VAs, some characters speak in a different voice in this quest in the RU version, which is a shame but understandable, considering how many actors had to take part in the recording.
Seeing everyone at the ceremony was cool. Even the Music Box of Memories characters! It's a good thing I finished it before proceeding to the Finale.
You know, it's actually kind of funny. I have a fic, The Return, that takes place after the war, and some details in that fic fit the actual game perfectly now, despite how different it is.
On to Sacria now!..
Me, finally deciding to play The Trajectory of Destiny: I should play the story and, for once, stop being a simp.
The game: Here's your favourite character literally in the first scene of the quest. Oh, here's also him talking to your Seeker in a tired but gentle voice, saying how much he was worried about her.
......is this fan-service? Am I a fan? Am I being serviced? I guess I am, who am I kidding. But also... I'll take it. There's so much hurt going on in this finale that I will take all the comfort they offer.
The quest was really good though, and quite long. And is it actually non-repeatable? That's just tragic! And makes no sense too, that's such an important part of the story!
Anyway, going to continue on to the finale itself now, as soon as I find the time. At this point trying to dodge spoilers is becoming impossible, I already saw too many of them, even while being careful.
But for now... Here's a bunch of screenshots, because Lost Ark continues to be, as they say nowadays, absolute cinema!
=Spoilers of ACT IV Prologue ahead!=
I was so glad to see Mariu too! Because he (still) is best boy. Always happy when we get a chance to talk to him. The devs also remembered that Tienis isn't supposed to have wings lol.
I loved the design of Diaspero. Looks pretty damn cool. Oddly enough, it reminded me of some of Tsutomu Nihei's work for Blame!, and Blame! is my absolute favourite manga ever.
The Black Cat
One day an odd black cat appears at Federico's door. It seems suspiciously smart and acts not quite like a wild animal is supposed to act. At the same time, rumours start to circulate about mysterious new enemies plotting Arkesia's demise and their unusual, never before seen magics.
T+, 11k words, OC/Federico (Jederico), fairy tale elements, being cursed by an evil witch, romance, stand-alone story. Happens after the war, no spoilers.
Chapter 1
It was on a day like any other when Federico suddenly heard a soft scratching noise at his door. He was sitting at his desk in the small building that served as his Feiton residence, and he was almost finished with the paperwork for the day.
He ignored the sound at first but soon heard it again. And then again.
He raised his head, frowning. If that was a rat, then it must've been one very brazen rat.
The scratching sound reached his ears again.
Federico rose to his feet and opened the door. There was no one there, sentries continuing their silent patrol around the base in the distance, dim sun slowly sinking below the horizon. He looked around.
Something small and dark could be seen just to the side of the path that lead to his house: a cat. There was a surprising number of cats in Kalaja, especially considering how barren the land was, but out here, in the Nameless Valley, he only saw them very rarely. However, Kalaja cats were mostly fierce and wild, and this one was small and scrawny, its fur matted and covered in dirt. The animal was pitch black, but its dark blue eyes glowed softly in the twilight.
The cat looked up at him silently.
"This isn't a kitchen," Federico said, addressing the cat. "Go away, I don't have anything to feed you."
He then closed the door and soon forgot about the cat entirely.
The next morning he left his home to attend the morning service and suddenly noticed that the cat was still there. It was napping in the shadow of a spiky bush and woke up when he walked past. The cat looked at him again but didn't approach.
He went on about his business, paying it little attention. He was needed at the chapel.
The short service went without any incident, and soon enough he was free again. However, once he left the chapel he heard a commotion at the doors.
"Shoo!" a paladin guarding the entrance was saying, waving his gloved hand. "Begone!"
"What's going on?" Federico inquired, coming closer.
"Nothing of importance, Your Eminence," the warrior replied. "Just an animal. Filthy beast! How did it even sneak in here?"
He pointed down, and Federico saw a familiar black cat sitting at the roadside in the dust.
"Shoo!" the paladin raised his voice. "Go away, you damned thing!"
And then he tried to kick the cat, and it barely managed to get out of the way.
"Stop it," Federico said, frowning. "What are you doing?"
"A black cat is a bad omen!" the paladin said. "It is a bringer of misfortune! A cursed beast!"
"What is this superstition?" Federico's frown deepened. "Are you a servant of the Lord or an uneducated peasant? It's an animal! There is no need for such cruelty! Leave the creature alone."
The paladin mumbled something unintelligible but didn't try to hit the cat again, and so Federico turned away and went about his business too.
Throughout the rest of the day he sometimes noticed the cat, time and time again, as it followed him around the Sacrian base, but the animal kept its distance and never tried to do anything, and so he paid it no mind.
The next morning he left the house, and the cat was waiting for him again. He frowned slightly. This was somewhat odd. Animals never liked him that much in the past, and he never was that good with them anyway. Why was this creature seemingly so interested in him? It was a bit of a mystery.
The cat kept following him around for several days straight, never getting too close but always somewhere nearby. He made a point of never feeding it, believing that in that case the animal would eventually leave, but it never did. In the evening it followed him all the way home and napped on the street not far from his door.
"Creature, what do you want from me?" he asked aloud one day, staring at it in confusion. "I won't feed you. I don't need a cat. Go to the port, there's bound to be some leftover fish there."
The cat looked rather miserable indeed, like it didn't eat nearly enough. It didn't answer of course, just looked at him with those glowing blue eyes.
Federico sighed and went back into his house, his thoughts turning back to his work.
It was a stormy evening in Feiton. Cold winds howled across the Nameless Valley and dark torrents of rain lashed the ground like cruel whips. People tried to stay in as much as possible, and Federico ordered the outdoor activities kept to a minimum, unwilling to have his men suffer the elements without reason.
He was now indoors himself, sitting at his desk, finishing his reports. He signed the last paper and thought once again how fortunate it was that there was no urgent business to handle today, the weather was absolutely foul.
He stood up to look through the window, and a sudden thought crossed his mind.
The cat. Was it still there, in front of his house? Surely not, the animal appeared very smart, of course it found a place to hide. It did, didn't it?
Feeling a bit silly, he went to the door and opened it to take a peek outside. It was so dark he could barely see anything.
Squinting, he looked at the dark shadow underneath the thorny bush and suddenly realised that it was the black cat. It was still there.
The animal was curled up close to the roots of the bush, but the plant was dead, it had no leaves to offer any protection from the rain, and the cat was shivering so much he could actually see it from the distance.
Federico frowned. That didn't seem like normal animal behaviour. Was there something wrong with it?
"Cat," he called out, now feeling utterly ridiculous. "Um... kitty? Do you... want to come inside?"
The cat raised its head with a start, its ears perking up. It uncurled its body and looked at him.
He opened the door wider, stepped aside and motioned with his hand.
"Come," he said softly. "Get in. Before you freeze to death."
The cat slowly stood up but kept hesitating.
"Come," he said again, sighing in exasperation. "Before I change my mind."
The cat looked up at him then and finally walked in, allowing him to close the door behind it. It took a few tentative steps forward but then paused, looked down at the muddy footprints it was leaving behind on the floor and went back to the threshold, sitting down, still shaking. It was completely drenched.
Federico looked at it in confusion. Was it normal for animals to act that way? He actually had no idea, he rarely had to deal with animals, even horse riding he wasn't that good at. But maybe the cat was simply afraid? That made a certain amount of sense.
"Don't be scared," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you."
The cat didn't answer of course, it only crouched on the floor, water dripping down from its dirty hide.
Federico frowned. He could've sworn that the cat didn't want to go in because it knew that it was filthy. But that seemed ridiculous, it was an animal! Maybe it used to be a house cat at some point in the past?
He sighed and went into the kitchen, returning several minutes later without his cloak but with a wooden bucket of water in his hands. He placed the bucket in front of the cat but then immediately hesitated. What to do now? Even he knew cats hated water. Washing a cat was supposedly very difficult, even a house cat, not to mention a wild animal.
To his surprise, the cat immediately understood his intention and climbed into the bucket itself, a bit unsteady on its paws. It sat down in the water and moved its tail about, as if actually trying to wash it.
"You sure are one very odd animal," Federico muttered under his breath.
He then crouched on the floor, rolled up his sleeves and tentatively reached into the bucket, wary of the cat's claws.
The cat didn't react at all and allowed him to wash it with stoic patience. Not only did it not fight him, it actually seemed to try and help, turning this way and that, offering him its paws, with claws hidden.
Eventually, he took the cat out of the bucket and patted it down with an old cloth. And as he touched its tiny body he noticed something: the cat was still shivering all over, its skinny legs unsteady. Was it... ill? That probably wasn't so surprising, it lived in the streets and ate who knows even what, animals didn't last for long like that.
He sighed to himself. Since he already did this much...
"Lord, forgive me for using your gifts like this," he muttered and then recited a short prayer.
His hand aglow with divine light, he reached out and gingerly touched the cat's back. The animal trembled a little but didn't run, not even afraid of him using his abilities. The light enveloped the little creature and dissipated, hopefully healing it entirely.
"How's that, little one?" he asked, moving his hand to gently pat the cat between its ears. "Better?"
The cat, obviously, didn't answer, but, after a short pause, closed its eyes and pushed its nose into his palm. Surprised, he froze for a second but then slowly started to pet it, rubbing behind its ears, stroking its chin. The cat chased his touch for a while, meowing softly, and then it sat back and stared at him in silence.
Federico sighed again.
"And what am I supposed to do with you?" he asked, mostly talking to himself.
He heard in the past that cats often chose their owners, simply latching to a human they liked and never going away. Was this something like that?
"Little one, I can't be your owner," he said quietly. "I have other responsibilities."
The cat kept staring at him, its blue eyes shining with inner light. He sighed again.
"All right, let me see if I have something to eat at least."
He went into the back of the house again and came back with several strips of dried meat taken from the field rations. He put the meat into a bowl and offered it to the cat.
The cat ate silently, cleaning the bowl quickly. It probably was as malnourished as it looked, the food being a precious resource in Feiton.
"Stay here for today," he told the cat, pouring some water into the bowl. "I'll let you out tomorrow morning."
He went back to his work then, and the cat remained in the corner, still either too shy or too afraid to enter the house properly. He didn't give it much thought though. The cat wasn't making any noise at all, and he forgot all about it as he went to sleep.
After that day he gave up on trying to chase the cat away. It simply followed him around wherever he went but stayed out of buildings and never got in anyone's way, simply waiting for him at some corner and then continuing to shadow him from a distance. It was uncanny. He had never heard of cats behaving like that.
The animal wasn't malicious in any way though. It never hurt anyone, it rarely even approached him.
He now shared a little bit of his food with it, and it accepted his kindness, and in the evening he allowed it to go inside and stay in the house. Eventually it grew bold enough to go and lie down by the fireplace, but that was the extent of its range. It was a very humble animal.
It was also shockingly smart. To the point where he sometimes looked at it and thought that it truly seemed to understand human speech. But surely that couldn't be so?
One evening Federico was sitting at his desk reading through the fresh reports that the agents of Dawn brought to him from the world outside of Feiton. And the news were concerning to say the least.
There were tidings of mysterious new adversaries plotting Arkesia's demise from the shadows, using weird powers and magics never before seen in the world. Several attempts were made to learn of the nature of these new threats, but so far none of them were successful.
The most worrying though was the last missive. It spoke of things that happened almost a month ago now, when the Inheritor of the Ark started her own investigation into whoever the new enemies of the world were and... disappeared without trace.
Federico stared at the parchment, his frown growing deeper and deeper.
This wasn't the first time when the Inheritor suddenly disappeared. Her travels took her to the farthest reaches of the world and beyond, and she was her own mistress, answering to no one. Sometimes she would go somewhere and then reappear a couple of months later, having solved another crisis, as if nothing happened. She was maybe the most capable person in the whole world. She was probably fine.
He tapped the surface of the desk with his fingers.
And what if she wasn't fine? He had a bad feeling about those new enemies. What if something actually happened to her? What if she needed help, and no one even considered rescuing her, used to her being the one who rescued others?
He got up from his chair, walked closer to the fireplace and paused before it, lost in contemplation.
The Inheritor was an incredible woman: fearless, compassionate and wise. She truly was one of a kind, and to him she was an example, an inspiration, and... and something else too. But he wasn't supposed to think of that. And so he rarely did.
Right now though he found himself consumed with sudden worry. What if something bad happened? And he was all the way out here, up to his neck in his own work and in no position to help at all. And...
A frightening idea came into his mind then. What if she wasn't simply in need of help? The war ended, she wasn't actually the chosen of the gods any more, her destiny was fulfilled. What if...
What if she was killed? In some obscure corner of the world, in a battle that she had no chance of winning? What if she died, alone and outnumbered, and the world didn't even care? What if her body was lying somewhere right now, in some sightless pit, for no one to find ever again?
It was a terrible, terrible thought, and he felt his heart grow cold in his chest. No, it was impossible. But what if it wasn't?....
All of a sudden, he felt something brush against his leg and looked down. The black cat was rubbing itself against his shin.
"Oh," he said, coming out of his thoughts. "It's you."
The cat meowed softly, its tail coiling around his ankle.
"What's wrong, little one?" he asked. "Hungry?"
He glanced at the cat's bowl - it still had some dried meat in it, and the second bowl was full of water.
"No? Then what is it?"
The cat meowed again, somewhat sadly, and quickly circled his legs, rubbing itself against him.
He sighed and went down on one knee, reaching out to pet the animal. The cat immediately pushed its nose into his hand, nuzzling his palm.
"Are you trying to cheer me up, little one?" he asked, caressing the cat's soft fur. "Thank you. Yes, I know, I'm being paranoid, I shouldn't be thinking of such nonsense, especially when there's no reason to suspect anything of the sort even happened."
Some people believed that animals were capable of sensing their owner's distress and even empathising with them. Apparently, there was a grain of truth to that? As crazy as it sounded, in this moment it truly seemed to him that the cat knew that he was upset and was trying to make him feel better. And it was... surprisingly touching.
He sighed again.
"Little one," he said quietly, "want to go sit with me?"
He then slowly took the cat into his arms and lifted it up. It didn't resist at all, its claws fully retracted, its legs pressed to its body.
Federico carried the cat with him to his chair and sat back down, setting it down onto his knees. The cat curled up in his lap, its head resting against his abdomen, and purred softly.
He smiled against his own will. He was starting to understand why some people liked having a cat at home. Holding the little creature was surprisingly relaxing.
He put his left hand on the cat's back and kept petting it gently as he looked at the papers some more.
Two days later he was visiting the Avesta headquarters in Kalaja and the cat, surprisingly, followed him all the way, trudging in his steps through the wastes of Feiton. He occasionally glanced at it with worry, but the cat never showed any sign of discomfort.
He spoke with the Grandmaster at length and finally emerged back outside, his thoughts still occupied with the matters they discussed. Once he went down the steps though, he was greeted with an unusual scene.
Levi was crouching on the ground in front of the black cat, trying to get closer to it, while Goulding stood in the back, chuckling quietly.
"Here, kitty-kitty," Levi called, taking a step closer.
The cat looked at him warily.
But then Federico came closer, and the cat immediately perked its ears, stood up and sauntered in his direction, brushing once against his leg.
"Oh, hey," Levi said, slowly getting up. "Federico! Wait, is that... your cat?"
Federico looked down upon the small animal, now sitting quietly at his side.
"I guess it is," he answered with a sigh. "It just... started following me around lately, I have no idea why."
"Ha!" Goulding let out a short laugh. "The little fleabag knows you Sacrians have the good stuff back at your base!"
"Eh, that's just how you get a cat," Levi grinned. "They have a mind of their own. If a cat decides you are its human, then that's how it is, you don't get a say in this."
Federico only sighed in response.
"This one is kind of cute though," Levi continued. "Very different from the feral things we have here in Kalaja. Did it come on board of one of the ships? Seems very smart too."
"It is, indeed, very smart," Federico admitted.
"Or maybe not, if it trusts a Sacrian so blindly!" Goulding quipped, although there was no real venom in his voice.
"What's her name?" Levi asked, leaning down again to inspect the animal.
"Doesn't have one," Federico said. "It's just a cat."
Levi looked up at him, lifting an eyebrow.
"Really?" he said. "No name? Wow!"
"Poor kitty," Goulding laughed. "That's what you get for sticking with a Sacrian! Now, come on, Levi. We've got stuff to do."
"Yeah, yeah," Levi drawled, taking a step back. "See you later, Federico. See you later, cat!"
And then the Delains left, and Federico was left alone with the cat. He turned to look at it.
"Should I actually give you a name?" he asked aloud. "But I'm not really your owner. Or am I at this point?"
The cat simply stared at him. He sighed.
"It does seem weird that I keep addressing you simply as cat. So, um..."
He fell silent, thinking, and tried to think of a proper name. But nothing came to his mind.
"How about Blackie?" he finally offered, looking at the cat's pitch black fur. "Want to be Blackie?"
The cat didn't react.
"Yes, I know it's not very imaginative," he said apologetically. "Sorry about that. Well... Shall we go back, Blackie?"
They started on their way back to the Sacrian base, him and the cat, the road lonely and all but deserted at this hour. His business in Kalaja took him longer than expected.
Federico walked along the road, his thoughts once again turning to what he was discussing with Kaldor just now: the mysterious new enemy and the whereabouts of the Avesta's Black Falcon.
A sudden noise returned him to the here and now: the cat was hissing loudly, pacing the ground in front of him.
"What?" he asked. "Tired? Hang on, we'll be home soon enough. Let's go."
He tried to continue walking, but the cat suddenly caught the hem of his pants with its teeth, trying to hold him back.
"What has gotten into you?" he asked, irritated. The cat never behaved like that before. "Come on, let me go, it's getting late as it is."
The cat released him from its grip but hissed again, baring its fangs, looking about wildly. He took a look around too.
They were standing in the middle of the road, the dark woods looming from both sides. And suddenly he felt something: danger. There was danger here, unseen and unheard. Federico took a slow step back.
There was a soft whooshing sound, and he barely had the time to dodge as something sharp whistled through the air right next to his head. The very next instant a dark shadow leapt down from the branches of the nearby tree, cold steel glimmering in the twilight.
Federico ducked out of the way and immediately raised his hand, summoning a shield to protect himself, but something flashed red on the chest of his assailant, and the shield of Light cracked and shattered as soon as it formed.
Federico paused, taken by surprise, and that brief second of hesitation was all his attacker needed, lunging at him immediately. The blade flashed in the dark, but then a small shadow jumped at the assassin, meowing furiously and scratching his neck with its claws.
The attacker cursed and flailed about, trying to fight off the cat, before finally grabbing the animal and throwing it away from himself, raising his weapon for another strike. However, by that point Federico was ready for it. He grabbed the attacker's wrist, pushing the seeking blade away from himself, as his left hand darted forward and reached for the small object glowing red in the dark.
Federico yanked on the thing, which turned out to be a metal pendant of sorts, and the chain holding it snapped. The very next instant his hands glowed bright, and a golden lightning flowed from his fingers, striking true.
The assassin only let out a short strangled gasp, and then his body crumbled to the floor, lifeless.
Federico took a quick look around, his hands still glowing, ready for more assailants to appear. But no one did. Silence reigned once again.
He took a deep steadying breath, and then a soft sound reached his ears, barely audible.
The cat!..
He looked about frantically and finally found it, lying in a heap by the wayside. The cat was clawing the earth weakly with its front paws, but the rest of its body wasn't moving, covered in blood, as more blood pooled around it on the ground.
"Oh, no..." he muttered, kneeling at the animal's side. "Hang on, little one!"
He prayed under his breath and touched the cat's fur, his fingers immediately becoming sticky and wet. He pushed the healing energy into the tiny creature, hoping that it wasn't too late yet.
To his relief, the prayer seemed to work, the gashing wound on the cat's side slowly disappearing. The cat meowed again, quiet, and tried to get up, its legs still shaky.
Federico looked the cat over and realised that it lost way too much blood. There was so much of it on the ground, and he knew very well that healing magic could mend the body, but it did little to help with exhaustion and blood loss.
"Come here, little one," he said, lifting the cat into his arms, not mindful of his clothes immediately becoming smeared with blood. "It's going to be all right."
The cat curled up in his hands, trembling slightly, and let out a quiet pitiful mewl.
"It's going to be fine," he said, holding it to his chest. "Let's go."
He briefly returned to inspect his attacker. The man was wearing a mask, his clothes bearing weird symbols that Federico never saw before. But there was no time for a proper inspection now, it was too dangerous to linger.
Federico hastened in the direction of the Sacrian base where his arrival caused quite a commotion. He explained to his brothers and sisters that he was unharmed and ordered a team be dispatched to the place where he was attacked, also sending a messenger to contact the Avestas.
He was still carrying the cat around, and the other priests looked at him oddly, but no one really said anything, there were more pressing matters to attend to.
Once he was finally done with everything truly urgent, he briefly returned to his house to change and quickly inspected the cat. After wiping away most of the blood from its fur, he found no visible traces of injuries. However, the animal was very weak and barely even moved.
He brought the cat to the fireplace and made sure there was some food and water nearby, but he couldn't stay, there was still so much to do. They had to investigate the attack and, most importantly, take a look at the mysterious artifact that seemingly blocked his powers.
"I'm sorry, little one," he said, petting the cat's back. "I can't stay now. Hang on, all right? Rest. I'll come back soon."
In the end he only returned when it was almost nighttime but went to check on the cat right away.
It was lying in the exact same place where he left it, its ears shifting about nervously. The food was barely even touched, it seemed like the cat didn't have much of an appetite.
Federico sighed and sat down on the floor next to it.
"How are you, little one?" he asked, gently touching the cat's head. "Does anything still hurt? You can, I don't know, bite me if it does."
The cat didn't bite him though. It pushed its nose into his palm instead and gave out a soft mewl.
He sighed again and gathered the cat into his arms to sit in his lap. It was so small, lithe but almost frail.
"Thank you, little one," he said, caressing the cat's back. "How did you know that something was amiss? Did you sense something? You saved my life today, do you know that?"
The cat, obviously, didn't reply but nuzzled his palm quietly.
"People think that black cats are a bad omen," he continued, watching the animal pensively. "But maybe you were actually sent by the gods themselves to help me?"
He remained silent for a while then, thinking, absently rubbing the cat behind its ears.
"You are very brave, little one," he finally said. "Or should I call you Blackie now?"
He looked at the cat for a bit longer. Somehow, it seemed like the name didn't fit it at all. Like that wasn't what the cat's name was.
As he thought about that, he saw its blue eyes close, the cat's head drooping onto his leg. Poor thing, it was probably exhausted.
"Let's go get some rest, little one," he said, gently lifting the cat from his knees.
However, it felt wrong to him now to simply leave it on the floor. And so he soon returned with an old blanket and made a sort of a nest from it in front of the fireplace.
"Here you go," he said, placing the cat into this improvised bed. "Rest well."
And then he patted its head once more and went to sleep himself.
The next morning he checked the cat's condition. It looked better but was still weak, which was to be expected, given what it had to suffer. As he went to the door though, the cat came closer too, as if prepared to accompany him once again.
Federico frowned.
"No," he said, addressing the cat. "Don't go with me today, little one. You were very hurt yesterday. Stay here."
The cat took another step forward, meowing softly.
"No!" he said again. "Stay at home!"
The cat ignored him though, and he had no time to argue with it, and so he was forced to allow it to follow him around as usual.
That day he went and requested a little bit of extra provision from the quartermaster, including some dried fish and a can of liver pate. In the evening he gave some of it to the cat, right after a proper bath.
"Here you go," he said, watching the cat eat slowly. "Sorry, we don't have milk around here, but I hope this will suffice. Get your strength back."
One other thing he did was also warn the sentries not to harm the cat. Because it was his cat, and it was under his protection. That earned him an odd stare or two, but he didn't care.
The cat saved his life. The least he could do was keep the creature safe.
Another week went by, and one day Federico finally got the information he was waiting for. He requested an update on the Inheritor's whereabouts and her current status from his allies across the sea, and the reply finally arrived.
The place where she most likely had to clash with the yet unknown enemy was found, but it was empty by the time the allies arrived. There were no bodies, no blood even, only her weapon and her armour, clean and intact, left forgotten on the ground.
To say that this was worrying was an understatement. Everyone realised that no warrior would ever leave behind their equipment like that, not of their own free will. Something must've happened, and now people were starting to look for her in earnest. But maybe it was already too late, so much time has already been lost.
Federico spent the day working, giving orders and sending out agents to new assignments, yet his heart was heavy and full of doubt.
In the evening, when he finally returned to his place, he found himself unable to calm down at all, his thoughts still in disarray.
He got into bed eventually, but sleep was evading him, and the longer he stayed awake, the worse it became.
Feeling like even lying down was an ordeal at this point, Federico sat up and covered his face with his palms.
What to do now? Was there anything he could do at all?
Something happened to her, he knew it in his heart of hearts. Something bad, something terrible. And he was so far away, barely able to do a thing. But then again, what could he do that her other allies couldn't? She knew the most powerful people in the whole world, the actual Sidereals were her friends. But what if there WAS something he could do? Some way for him to contribute that would've made a difference? And he wasn't doing it?
Such were the thoughts that filled his mind, going round and round and round, like a black maelstrom, and there was no stopping them.
Suddenly, he heard a quiet noise in the night and slowly looked up. The cat was sitting at the side of his bed, its eyes glowing in the dark. It mewled softly.
"Sorry, little one," he said, reaching down to pet it. "Am I bothering you?"
The cat meowed, then turned its head and licked his hand. He looked at it in surprise.
"What?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
The cat made another sound, deftly jumped onto his bed and came closer, starting to rub its nose against his knee.
Federico sighed.
"Are you worried about me again?" he asked, stroking the back of the cat's head.
The cat meowed, somewhat sadly, and licked his hand once more.
"Don't worry," Federico said, smiling mirthlessly. "I'm all right. I'm not the one who is in trouble. But... But she is."
He fell silent then, the black vortex of doubt drawing him in again.
"What if she's hurt?" he said aloud, absently petting the cat. "What if she's held captive somewhere? And I'm just sitting here doing nothing to help. Nothing!"
The cat pushed its nose into his palm and went a little closer. He sighed again.
"You know..." he whispered, watching the cat's eyes glimmer in the dark, "your eyes are the same colour as hers. Deep blue. Like the skies just before the dawn."
It was ridiculous talking to a cat like that. But he normally never spoke of such things, forced to keep them locked in his heart. And right now it was starting to become unbearable. He just wanted to share his feelings with someone. Anyone. Even if it was only a cat.
The cat watched him silently, attentively, and in its eyes he saw something that he could only interpret as sympathy. And it made the sadness in his heart grow even more pronounced.
He gently gathered the cat into his arms and pulled it to his chest, its tiny body warm in his embrace.
"Little one, what should I do?" he asked quietly. "I want to drop everything and go look for her. She needs help, I just know it. But I can't! I can't just leave. My place is here, I have my duties, and there's so much going on..."
He trailed off, feeling something break inside of him, like a dam being finally swept away by the tides.
"Little one, what do I do?" he whispered, barely audible. "I think I love her."
He closed his eyes then, terrified of his own emotions, and simply sat like that for a long time, saying nothing more.
And after a while he finally went to sleep, with the cat curled up in his arms.
Federico woke up in the very early hours of the morning, while it was still dark. His day started early, but normally not this early. Something was different. Something woke him up.
Awareness was returning to him slowly, and he realised that it was unusually warm and that his hands were touching something, something very.......
His eyes snapped fully open. He couldn't really see that well in the dark, but he didn't need the light to know that he wasn't alone in his bed. Someone was lying in it at his side. No, not even at his side - in his arms!
He blinked rapidly and realised that it was a woman: a young woman with dark hair, completely naked and breathing slowly, her eyes closed.
He recognised that woman right away. Because it was her. It was the Inheritor of the Ark. It was Clavaria!
He stared at her in disbelief, trying to understand if this was a dream. But no, everything felt way too real. This wasn't a dream, he knew it wasn't. And that meant that either she really was here, or he went completely insane.
"C... Clavaria!.." he called her, so shocked he didn't even pay attention to the fact that she was wearing absolutely nothing and that they were very close indeed. "Clavaria!"
He saw her shiver slightly as she took a deep breath and opened her eyes, her gaze slowly focusing on his face.
"Mm," she murmured, blinking drowsily. "Federico....."
But then the mist in her eyes cleared up completely, and suddenly she gasped, her whole body tensing up.
"Clavaria!" he called her again. "Is that... Is that really you?"
She looked at him, then down at her own body and gasped again, her arms immediately darting up to cover her breasts.
Only now finally returning to his senses, he removed his hands from her naked form and hastily pulled the covers over it, at the same time trying to get as far from her on the small bed as was possible.
"M-my apologies," he stuttered, so lost he didn't even feel as embarrassed as he should've been.
"N-no," she said, her voice quiet and unsteady, as if she hadn't spoken for quite some time. "It's... Am I really myself again? I... I am!"
"Clavaria, is that really you?" he asked again, looking at her in confusion. "But how can it be? What happened?"
"I..." She looked up at him then, and he saw both sadness and shame in her eyes. "I... I met an enemy the likes of which we have never seen before. Trying to go against her alone was... very foolish. And I... I think I was cursed."
"Cursed?" he said, frowning.
She nodded.
"Yes. The witch told me there was a way to break it, because that was how her magic worked. Either temporarily or completely. But I didn't know she was actually telling the truth. And..."
Suddenly, he saw her eyes go wide.
"Oh, no!" she muttered. "It's happening again!"
"What is happening again?" he asked, alarmed. "Clavaria, how do I help you?!"
"Federico, listen!" she said quickly, looking into his eyes. "You are in danger! They are targeting the priests for some reason! You need to be careful, you need to....."
But then the sky outside grew a little brighter, and the first ray of dawn cut through the Feiton's gloom. And suddenly the silhouette of the woman before him grew hazy and unfocused.
"No!" he cried out, suddenly afraid. "Clavaria, what is....."
He reached out to grab her shoulder, but his hand found no purchase, because the woman before him disappeared. And in her place a small black cat with blue eyes was lying on the bed, its form half hidden by the blanket.
The cat let out a sad cry, closed its eyes and curled up, hiding its face.
Federico stared at it in horror.
This cat...
This cat was actually Clavaria?!
This cat that sat in front of his house for days, hungry and covered in mud? This cat that followed him everywhere quietly, wherever he went? This cat that almost got itself killed fighting an enemy ten times its size, because it was trying to protect him?
"Clavaria..." he whispered helplessly. "Is that... Is that really you?"
He gently touched the cat's back, but it trembled violently and curled up even more, as if ashamed.
Yes, it really was her. The cat behaved so differently from a real animal because it wasn't a real animal. It was a person turned into an animal by some unholy magic. What did she say it was? A curse?
"Don't be scared," he said softly, placing his palm over her body. "We will... We will figure something out. We'll find a way to turn you back into your true form. It's... It's going to be all right."
But even as he said that, he felt a sense of dread fill his soul. She never even had the time to tell him anything about the curse. He had no idea what to do to break it.
Chapter 2
The first thing he did the following day was try and communicate with the cat properly. However, he quickly discovered that, while the cat was extremely smart for an animal, it didn't fully retain the cognitive ability of a real person. In her cat form, Clavaria understood his intentions well and seemed to be aware of her general circumstances, but something like writing for example was completely beyond her.
He felt a small modicum of relief now that he knew that at least she was alive and relatively well, and that he could keep an eye on her and make sure she was safe. But what to do now?
If he came out now and declared that the cat he found on the streets more than two weeks ago was, in fact, the Inheritor of the Ark, he would immediately be branded as a madman, and his relatively high status wouldn't help him in the slightest. This was too wild a claim to make.
If only he could make her revert back to her original form, even if for a short while, but he had no idea what triggered the last night's transformation.
He stared at the cat helplessly.
"Clavaria, how do I help you?" he asked aloud. "What do I do?"
The cat said nothing, only walked to the door and touched it with its paw, as if saying that it was time for them to go.
"No," he said with a frown. "This is much too dangerous! You are too vulnerable in this form! Stay at home, please."
The cat meowed quietly and pawed the door again.
What to do now? He could try and force her to stay in, but that didn't sound like the best idea. She was smart enough to get out on her own if she really wanted to, and he didn't want to leave her unattended for long.
He sighed deeply and kneeled next to the cat for a second.
"All right," he said, gently patting it between the ears. "Stay close to me though. And don't try to fight. You hear me? No matter what happens, stay behind me."
The cat looked at him silently, and somehow he wasn't convinced it would actually do as he said. He sighed again.
"All right," he said, getting up and opening the door. "Let's go."
That day, the closer it got to nighttime, the more nervous Federico became. Was there any hope at all that she would revert to her true form again? Was there something special that he did the night before?
He tried to remember the specific details. The cat came to him in his bed, and he fell asleep still holding it in his arms. Was that it? Was it something as simple as mere proximity or prolonged physical contact? But why would that make any difference?
Out of other ideas, he gently scooped the cat into his arms and brought it to the bed. It's not like he would allow it to sleep on the floor now, not when he knew who it actually was. The cat didn't resist, it was oddly meek today.
What next? He tried to remember anything else about the last night, and a sudden image came into his mind, unbidden: her naked form lying at his side in the dark, her skin warm under his touch. A furious blush spreading over his face, he quickly pulled out an old shirt and put it around the cat's body. The cat looked at him questioningly.
"So that you would have something to cover yourself with," he muttered, not even looking at it. "I'm sorry, I won't stare, as much as possible."
The cat meowed quietly and lay down its head on its paws, seemingly shy. The situation was starting to become extremely awkward.
"All right," he finally said. "Don't be alarmed. Let's see if this works a second time..."
He then climbed into the bed himself, put his arms around the tiny animal and closed his eyes. Was this correct? So far nothing changed.
He remained like that for a while, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. The cat stirred in his embrace.
"Clavaria, what am I doing wrong?" he asked quietly, carefully stroking the cat's back. "How do I make you transform again?"
He thought back to the previous night again. What else did he do? He talked to the cat. Right, because he was so worried and upset. And he said...
But before he could finish that thought, he suddenly felt the mattress dip, the blanket shifting under his arms. Startled, he immediately removed his hands and moved back to the edge of the bed. And the next instant the little cat disappeared, and a dark haired woman was once again lying at his side.
"It... It worked!" he said in surprise, his heart starting to beat faster. "Clavaria! It's you!"
She blinked, awareness gradually returning to her eyes, but then immediately gasped and grabbed the edges of the shirt, wrapping it around her form.
Federico hastily pulled the covers over her shoulder, hiding her body from his own eyes. That seemingly made her relax a little, and she lifted her face to look at him.
"Federico," she said softly.
He let out a slow exhale.
"I am so glad you are unharmed," he said. "How do you feel? Is... Is the magic that was binding you fully gone?"
She shook her head.
"No," she answered, looking away. "It's not. I will be a cat again once the dawn comes."
He frowned, subconsciously moving a little closer to her.
"But you are yourself right now! Doesn't it mean that the curse is broken?"
She shook her head again.
"No. There are... There are three things," she said slowly, talking with noticeable effort. "Do two of them and the curse is partially lifted for a time, and then I can be myself from midnight till dawn every day. Do all three, and it will be gone completely."
"Well, what are you waiting for!" he exclaimed. "Quickly, tell me what else remains!"
For some reason, she hesitated and didn't say anything.
"Tell me!" he pressed. "If I can't do it myself, then I'll contact someone who can! We need to find a way to help you!"
She looked up at him again, still hesitating.
"Don't be afraid," he said softly, seeing her struggle. "Just tell me. No matter what it is."
She opened her mouth then, and he saw her lips move. Yet he heard nothing.
She tried again, her breath brushing his skin. But her throat produced no sound at all. She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.
"I guess that part the witch didn't lie about as well," Clavaria said, dejected. "I can't talk about the curse. I can't tell anyone how to remove it. It has to... happen on its own or not at all. And you... You should avoid talking about it to others directly as well."
"Can't you at least give me a hint?" he asked. "Something vague?"
She shook her head silently. So, not even a hint. He sighed again.
"I... I see. Don't give in to despair. We'll think of something. I will contact some of the more trustworthy allies that we have. It's going to be all right."
She nodded and closed her eyes, curling up slightly. She was probably tired. To think about it, most of the time she was spending in cat form, and, for a cat, she slept very little.
"Listen, Clavaria," he said, a sudden feeling of worry gripping him out of nowhere. "Why do you insist on accompanying me everywhere? I can arrange for you to stay somewhere safe, to be guarded at all times. It's too dangerous!"
She shook her head in refusal again.
"No..." she murmured drowsily. "Have to stay... with you……."
"What? Why?" he asked.
But she didn't answer. It seemed like she fell asleep, her breathing steady and slow. Was this also a part of the curse? Or was this simple exhaustion?
He didn't know, and for now there was little to be done about it.
Federico remained awake for a while after that, simply watching her in the dim light, and then he fell asleep too, too tired to stay up any longer.
The next day, after some deliberation, he contacted the Avestas again. He already notified them of the possibility of new threats here in Feiton, but this time he asked for a specific agent to come see him at the Sacrian base.
In the afternoon a somewhat intrigued Levi appeared in the camp and was escorted promptly to speak with Federico in his lodgings.
"So," Levi said, taking a seat in front of him, "what in the world happened that you would want to see little old me and no one else?"
Federico hesitated for a moment.
"There is a very sensitive matter I need assistance with," he finally said. "And I contacted you because you are one of the most trustworthy people I know around here."
"Well, colour me flattered," Levi grinned. "But now I'm even more intrigued. So spill it, what do you need from me?"
Federico paced the room briefly, thinking.
"I made a request for the Avesta agents to accompany me, unseen, if ever I have to leave the Sacrian base in the nearest future."
"Yeah," Levi nodded. "Kaldor already told me. And?"
"But for you, specifically, I have a different request," Federico continued. "It will sound extremely weird, but... If something goes wrong... I want you to protect the cat."
Levi stared at him, clearly caught off guard.
"What?! Hey, Federico, are you trying to be funny? You're not succeeding in that case."
"No," Federico said, frowning. "This isn't a joke. This is very important. And I am asking you, because I think you are the only person who would ever treat a request like that seriously. If something happens, if I am attacked... forget about me, save the cat."
The Delain didn't answer at first, turning to look at the said cat. It was sitting quietly in front of the fireplace.
"Well, you're right, this DOES sound crazy. And, um... Any particular reason? I mean, I like animals, and yours is very cute and all, but... to save the cat over a person?.."
"Yes," Federico said with a heavy sigh. "Because this isn't a simple cat."
Levi arched an eyebrow at that.
"Like... In what sense?" he asked. "It's a magical holy cat blessed by Regulus or something?"
Federico sighed once more.
"I... can't really talk about it in detail now. And I know how that sounds. But I'm serious. This is very important. Protect the cat. Please."
Levi stared at him silently for several moments.
"All right, all right," he said eventually, even if he didn't exactly sound convinced. "You have my word."
Federico spent the next few days gathering information and writing letters, contacting some of the people he knew from the war. He had to be very careful about what he disclosed though. If the word got out that the Inheritor was actually here, and she was all but helpless at the moment...
It was too dangerous. Way too many people held a grudge against her because of everything she had done in the past.
He also helped his fellow priests study the amulet he took from the body of the mysterious assassin. It was an odd thing shaped like a steel cage that held a crimson stone inside of it. Allegedly, it could be used to briefly disrupt the divine powers, yet they've found no way to activate it. Similar finds were reported in other regions though, where several priests and priestesses were already murdered, and not just the clerics of Regulus but those serving the other gods as well. It was a troubling development, but so far very little was actually known.
To add to that, Kaldor told him that other agents of the mysterious enemy were likely still in Feiton, lying in wait, but they proved extremely difficult to locate. And so it was recommended for him not to go anywhere without an armed escort. Unless, of course, he did it on purpose...
Because preparing a trap for his would-be killers was one of the ways to flush them from their hiding place, dangerous as it was.
While all that was going on, he spent what remained of every day trying to come up with a way to break Clavaria's curse. But he knew virtually nothing still, he didn't even know what exactly it was that helped to lift it temporarily.
It was a lot more awkward now too, him living with a cat when he knew it was, in fact, a grown woman. He was very mindful of how he touched it now, and on the third evening even tried to give it the bed, while he himself would sleep on the floor. The cat refused to accept that though, immediately jumping down to curl up at his side, and so there was no other option but to keep sharing the same bed.
Eventually, he started to notice something very concerning: even when she changed back into her true form, Clavaria now talked less and less every night. Sometimes she said nothing at all, even when he asked her questions, and fell asleep right away. And when the dawn came and she was a cat once more... With every passing day the cat acted just a tiny bit more like a real cat and less like a person turned into one. That possibly meant that he was running out of time. She spent too long in the body of an animal, it was starting to affect her mind.
Federico suspected that the mysterious people targeting him were in fact somehow connected to the sinister witch who cursed Clavaria, and so learning more about them could possibly give a hint into the mystery of her affliction.
And that was what made him agree to the dangerous plan devised by the Avestas.
A messenger arrived at his doorstep one day with important news: the Delains have discovered a way to activate the sinister amulets and requested his presence in Kalaja. He told the messenger to go back to town, promising to follow shortly, as soon as he was finished with his business at the base.
However, in the end he got delayed and only started on his way to Kalaja in the early evening.
Federico was walking along the road, the cat following in his steps, and trying not to show his nervousness. Would this work?
He used a different route this time, one that was a bit shorter but even more desolate, the woods in this part of the valley sickly and dark.
He took another turn along the road, and suddenly something dropped to his feet, something that mostly resembled a pebble. He didn't have the time to inspect it properly though, because the tiny object suddenly exploded with tendrils of crimson energy, and Federico immediately felt his body lock up, pain shooting through his limbs.
Things started happening very quickly then. Three dark silhouettes emerged from the woods, heading straight for him, yet several more forms rose as if from the shadows themselves, blocking them. Blades flashed in the gloom, and a vicious battle commenced all around him, as he was caught in the middle of it, still paralysed.
He couldn't move at all, he couldn't even speak, but, surprisingly, the cat could. He saw it jump in front of him and start digging the dust until it found the little object pulsing with red energy. The cat took it into its mouth and sprinted forward, away from him, the crimson field moving together with it now. And as soon as he was outside of the field, Federico instantly felt like he could move again.
"No!" he called out, trying to get the cat's attention. "No! Stop!"
Because one of the three assailants managed to fight off the Avestas and was now blocking the road again, standing right in front of the little animal. And the crimson field didn't hinder his movements either. He reached out, weapon held high, apparently intent on taking the object back.
Federico immediately attacked, a ray of light shooting from his palm, yet the light hit the crimson sphere and dissipated, and the attack didn't reach its target.
He prepared to strike again, but he was too slow, there was no time. Yet at that same instant a lithe shadow appeared from the side, grabbed the cat and rolled out of the way, familiar ashen hair flashing in the dark. Levi!
The assailant tried to swiftly change his course and attack Federico again, but he didn't get far. A wicked blade pierced his chest from the back, carving upward, and soon the assassin dropped dead, Goulding standing over the body, his weapon dripping with blood.
The woods suddenly became very quiet.
"Well, I'll be damned," Goulding rasped, looking at a fresh wound on his leg, "these bastards are actually vicious!"
"And too damn quick," Kaldor added, coming closer. "We wasted so much time trying to take them alive, and they still managed to swallow the poison at the last moment. Now we won't be learning anything from them."
"How's the priest?" someone else said from the shadows.
"I'm fine," Federico answered, trying not to show his anxiety. "Although it seems like I'm the only one who was affected by that artifact."
Levi approached, holding the cat on one hand and the small object in the other. The object went inert at some point and wasn't producing the sinister red field any more.
"Your cat's pretty good!" Goulding laughed, addressing Federico. "Certainly more useful than you! Maybe we should invite it to join the Avesta too!"
Federico ignored the Delain's teasing and carefully took the cat from Levi's hands. Thankfully, it seemed completely unharmed but trembled slightly as he held it to his chest.
"Thank you," he said to Levi, giving the boy a meaningful look.
The Delain grinned.
"You are welcome. That's one very brave cat you have."
Federico lingered for a while, helping to heal the agents that got injured, but eventually Kaldor sent him back to the base, saying the Avesta had it all covered and would share the results of their investigation later. And Federico's thoughts were so occupied he didn't argue.
He brought the cat back to the Sacrian base, holding it in his arms, afraid to let it go even for an instant. He briefly reported the incident to his fellow clerics, gave out new orders, but soon enough returned to his quarters, saying that he was in need of rest, which wasn't a complete lie, since the ominous red energy left him feeling an odd sense of emptiness inside.
He didn't actually go to rest though. There was no time to rest. Instead, he once again went through every prayer and cleansing ritual he was aware of - anything that had any chance of breaking a curse.
Nothing worked. The little black cat sat in front of him on the floor, just staring at him silently with its blue eyes. It seemingly picked up on the fact that he was agitated and worried and kept trying to approach and rub itself against his legs, but that only made him even more upset.
"How do I help you?" he muttered under his breath, pacing the room. "How?"
Soon enough the night came. He took the cat to the bed and gently placed it onto the sheets, climbing under the covers too. It was almost midnight.
He watched the cat in the dim light of a single lamp, wrestling with his own emotions, and eventually saw its form become blurry again as a young woman once again appeared at his side. She opened her eyes, looked at him and smiled softly. And said nothing.
He hastily pulled the blanket up, covering her body, but it didn't escape his attention that she wasn't ashamed of her own nudity any more. She didn't care.
"Clavaria," he said, an edge to his voice, "why did you do it today? Why did you risk your life again? Didn't I tell you not to fight? Didn't I tell you to stay behind me?"
She tilted her head to the side slightly, the smile falling from her lips. But she still didn't say anything.
"Clavaria!" he said again, louder, anxiety rising in him with every moment. "Talk to me! Why did you do it? It was dangerous! And I couldn't even... Why?!"
She blinked slowly, a slight frown forming on her brow.
"Had to do it," she said quietly. "You were... in danger. Can't let them... hurt you. Have to... protect you."
Emotions starting to choke him, he stared at her for a long moment and then asked:
"Why?"
She didn't answer, simply looking back at him.
He reached out and gently touched her cheek.
"Why?" he asked again.
But, instead of speaking, she only smiled again, turned her head and pushed her nose into his palm. Like a cat.
He watched her do it with horror, cold tendrils of fear creeping into his heart.
He was losing her. The woman he admired was vanishing before his very eyes, and soon enough there would be nothing left of her at all. His Clavaria would disappear, and only a cat would remain in her place.
"Clavaria!" he called her, grabbing her shoulder and shaking her slightly. "Talk to me! How do I help you? What do I do? Why did you come to me and not someone else? There must've been a reason!"
She frowned again, as if even thinking was starting to become a challenge for her.
"You are... in danger," she said, repeating her words from earlier. "Came to... warn you. Had to protect you. Can't let them... hurt you."
Federico felt the numbing cold spread further through his chest. No. So it was possible he had no way of helping her at all. It was possible whatever was necessary to break the curse for good had nothing to do with him. She only came to him because... because she wanted to keep him safe. Even when she was as helpless as a simple cat. And maybe in several days that's what she would become: a simple cat that only remembered wanting to protect him.
He stared at her mutely, trying in vain to push the despair out of his heart. And suddenly he remembered. He remembered what it was that he said on that night when she turned back into herself for the first time.
He slowly took her hand and held it in his own, trying to look into her eyes.
"Clavaria," he said, holding her gaze. "I love you."
She blinked slowly again, as if she didn't understand him at all.
"I love you," he said again, squeezing her hand tighter.
She didn't react, instead breaking the eye contact and looking down, her eyelids starting to droop.
No. It wasn't working. It wasn't working!..
"Clavaria!" he called her, letting go of her hand and cupping her cheek with his palm. "I love you!"
She looked up at him then, for only a moment, and, not knowing what else to do, he pulled her face closer to his own and kissed her.
She gasped, startled by what he did, but he didn't let go, clumsily caressing her lips with his own, even as despair threatened to drown him again, the black vortex pulling him down into its depths.
He kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her, pouring everything he felt in this moment into that kiss. And when he lost all hope and was about to finally let her go, something happened.
He felt her shudder under his touch, and suddenly her hand was clutching his shirt, just as her lips hesitantly moved against his own, answering his caress with her own.
He kissed her once more then, and she made a soft sound at the back of her throat, trembling slightly.
"Clavaria!.." he whispered, pulling back to look into her eyes. "Clavaria!"
"F-Federico?.." she murmured, staring back at him. "I... This... You..."
A deep blush started to spread over her cheeks, and she abruptly pulled the covers closer to her chest.
"Did it work?" he asked, too worried to be embarrassed. "Tell me it worked! Talk to me, please!"
She looked down, uncharacteristically meek.
"Y-yes," she stuttered, somehow still getting redder in the face. "I... I think it did."
"Are you sure?" he frowned, still worried. "How do we know?"
"I... feel different," she said hesitantly. "My mind is getting clearer. And I don't feel sleepy any more. I think... I think it worked. The curse is gone!"
"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked again, tilting her face up to look her over.
"Well..." she whispered, unable to look away from him, suddenly not as embarrassed as she was a moment ago. "Would you... Would you like to try again? To make sure?.."
He let out a slow exhale then, feeling the dark waters of despair finally retreat. And then he leaned in and pulled her closer to himself once more.
"...yes," he whispered against her lips. "I... don't want to leave anything to chance."
And then he was kissing her again, while her hand let go of the blanket, allowing it to slide down, forgotten. His arms went around her body, pulling her into a tight embrace, and that was how the dawn found them, still together, as the first rays of the morning sun broke through the gloom.
He watched her smile at him in the dim light of Feiton's dawn and thought that they had a lot of explaining to do now.
But that could wait. And for now... he could watch her for a while longer. Because she was herself once again. And there was nothing to be afraid of.
-------------
END NOTES:
If you are curious: what the Witch actually told Clavaria was that, in order for her curse to be lifted, a servant of Order had to break three rules for her sake. Federico broke three rules when he 1) took a woman into his bed (unwittingly) 2) confessed his feelings towards her 3) kissed her.
I also wrote a completely unhinged NSFW bonus chapter for this fic, you can read it HERE on my AO3 (don't say I didn't warn you!).
About two weeks ago, while everyone was busy beating up Kazeros, I finally did the Music Box of Memories #20. I took my time with the Music Box of Memories on purpose, I didn't want to rush and wanted to save some quality story content for later. Well, the time finally came!
That was a good quest! I have something to say about all that stuff, so read more for screenshots, extra trivia and some thoughts. Obviously, spoilers of the quest itself.
The quest was really good and very touching. I also enjoyed being able to see the battle in South Vern from a different perspective, that was cool. And the music of course! The music was great.
So, some curious details about this quest:
Richard appears to be a time traveller, a guest from the past! We know that Richard is a veteran Knight of the Sun, took part in several battles, including one at Rielvarr, and was commended several times by Lahart (Thar) himself. Well, the problem is... Richard is a human, and that part of the story is set before South Vern, before Knights of the Sun were restored, and Lahart has been dead for 100 years before his resurrection. So how is that possible? Well, we can read a report that answers that question: during a combat mission at Rielvarr Richard was caught in a magical explosion of sorts that caused a mysterious time anomaly. It's actually kind of interesting that the quest barely mentions it later on.
The name of the composer. He is Ryo del Orzo in ENG version and Ryo del Arko in KR/RU versions. Well, he is Ryo because the actual music for this quest was written by Ryo Yoshimata, a well known Japanese pianist and composer! Ryo Yoshimata is rather popular in Korea due to his work in doramas, and he was invited by the producer of LoA himself lol. There's an interview with him on official KR LoA YouTube.
Flowers! The language of flowers is very important in this quest, and the most important flower is, of course, the evening primrose (Oenothera). In floriography, it is "associated with inner strength and resilience. This flower often symbolizes the ability to overcome challenges, hardships, and adversity. In various cultures, the evening primrose flower is used as a symbol of hope and renewal. This flower is believed to bring positive energy and uplift the spirit, especially during difficult times" (c). Evening primroses bloom, well, in the evening, hence its name. But in Korean it is called 달맞이꽃 - literally the Moon Flower, and in Chinese it is called 月见草 - the Flower Looking at the Moon. Extra trivia: this whole thing doesn't really work in Russian, because the actual evening primrose has a completely different, very unromantic name in Russian, and so the translator was forced to replace it with the primula, which is a very different flower actually.
And, lastly... I SWEAR I have never played this quest before, I didn't even know what it's about. But I had a severe sense of deja vu while playing, because parts of it read... exactly the same as some of my fics (including some unpublished ones). Especially my Soulmates AU fic. The moon and all that... Like, wtf???
I guess the actual developers of the game are just as sentimental as me, hahaaaa. Well, it's good to know we're on the same page lmao.
What happened when I found out that the new boss, Serca, is a Chaos Witch (I don't know anything else, because I don't want to be spoiled):
My brain: A witch?! Hear me out...
Me: No! Not that kind of a witch!
My brain: Yes, but WHAT IF...
Me: NO! Be normal for once!
My brain: But WHAT IF a fic with strong fairytale elements? Where someone is cursed by an evil witch? Like The Beauty and the Beast? Or Little Mermaid?
Me: NO!
My brain: Ohhh, I know! Like East of the Sun and West of the Moon! Don't you like that one???
Me: ...........
That's what my creative process normally looks like btw. I get an intrusive thought, try to resist it for a while, inevitably fail, and then end up with yet another nonsensical story on my hands.
Normal LoA players right now: We beat the game! We defeated Kazeros!
Me right now: I beat the game! I gathered 7000 dew and got the goddamn mount, wooo!
On a more serious note, I only play LoA solo (no static group, no time and no energy to learn the regular versions of raids) and kinda don't know what to do now. I'm pretty much caught up with the game, but it will likely take quite a while before solo Kazeros is added. I COULD watch the whole thing on YouTube or something and continue with the story, but I don't really want to. Plus, do I really want to do the new region at the same time as the rest of the entire server? I'm not sure tbh.
I might actually put my main on hold for quite a while instead, maybe level up a Deadeye (always wanted to do that). Or maybe actually play some Rogue Trader with DLCs, that would be cool too. I just hope the whole world won't go up in flames before I have the chance to witness the ending of LoA story lmao. And I guess I will have to stop reading pretty much anything LoA related, because I don't want to get spoiled. Oh, right, and I can write a thousand more sappy fanfics in the meantime I guess haha.
It appeared to me recently that we spend A LOT of time in Lost Ark caring for kids of all kind. More than that, there seems to be an ongoing trend in the game: when the devs want to show that a certain NPC is caring and kind... they make them interact with children. And once I thought about that, an absolutely wild idea came to my mind, prompted in part by Steam incessantly recommending me a certain game that I have no intention of playing. Well, I'm not going to suffer alone, so now you have to see what my brain came up with too. I present to you:
❤️ Dream Daddy*, Lost Ark edition ❤️
In this totally imaginable dating sim visual novel, you live peacefully in a quiet suburb, when several newcomers arrive in town, and every one of them is a single dad!
Meet the dads:
Cain Krause
A mysterious, seemingly dangerous man who came to town out of nowhere with his daughter Mari. Very secretive, always busy doing weird projects in his garage. No one really knows anything about him, but there are rumours that he used to work for the government, specifically the Department of Defence. His daughter, Mari, is a prodigy and has a very difficult time socialising, interested in speaking to adults more than her own peers.
Favreau (Frank)
A sullen widower who lives with his daughter Lena at the local lighthouse. Loved his wife dearly and has no intention of marrying again. However, his daughter, lively Lena, has other ideas and is constantly coming up with new plans to make her father go out and start dating again.
Mariu (Ramek)
A cheerful youth who came into town with his daughter Zeherade. Dotes on the girl a bit too much, but it is painfully obvious that he is way too young to be her biological father. Outgoing and generous, but a bit secretive about the past - his own and that of his daughter. Zeherade is a bright and kind girl, but seems a bit odd at times and suffers from frequent bouts of migraine.
Federico (Jederico)
A young Protestant minister recently transferred to the local church. Instantly became popular amongst the local housewives due to his good looks, much to his own vexation. Never been in a romantic relationship in his entire life. Extremely serious and a little strict, but has a soft spot for kids. Adopted father of two orphans: a girl and a boy. The kids had a rough childhood and are distrustful of strangers.
Pahu
Despite his still somewhat youthful looks, the oldest of the newcomers. Calm, collected and very mature. Has long forgotten the excitement of both love and romance. A veritable child of nature, spends his days out in the wilds or tending to his garden and brewing teas. His son, Gantuga**, is already a teenager, and the parent and the child have a strained relationship, sometimes unable to understand one another.
*Disclaimer: I actually dislike the term Daddy when it's being applied to men in a sexualised way, the same as Mommy.
**That's Pahu's student in the game, in case you forgot (like me).
.........
Damn. Now that I actually wrote all this, I kinda want to play this non-existent game. Lmao.
Wither and Bloom
The Inheritor of the Ark is afflicted by a mysterious illness - an illness that makes her cough up… flower petals?.. /A Hanahaki story in the world of Lost Ark. If you aren't familiar with Hanahaki as a trope, you don't really need to know much, it's explained in the fic itself./
T+, OC Seeker x Federico (Jederico), around 5,6 k words, stand-alone story, romance, angst with a happy ending. CW: a little bit of body horror. Because it's Hanahaki.
Violets: Modesty, faithfulness, and secret love.
Anemone: Forsaken love.
Ever since the war started, Federico frequently received the Inheritor of the Ark in his temporary lodgings. They talked about the war, about the situation back in Sacria, about their plans going forward. They met like that quite often. There was always something happening, one crisis after the other, and frequent exchange of ideas was helpful.
Sometimes, when there was still time remaining, they played chess together. He was a much better player than her, but it was a good way to exercise strategic thinking, and so he tried to teach her, as much as possible. She was a very diligent student, and, occasionally, they talked about something not entirely work-related during the game. They knew each other for quite some time now, they were both allies and comrades.
It was on a relatively calm evening like that when she coughed quietly as they played. He didn't pay much attention to it, but then she coughed again.
"What's wrong? Are you cold?" he asked, frowning, as he gave her a careful look.
"It's fine," she answered, covering her mouth with her palm. "Just tired probably. It's fine!"
He didn't press the issue, and they continued their game.
A week later they met again, and, as they were discussing the possibility of Twilight priests infiltrating Kurzan, she started coughing again. It was louder this time and sounded like it came from deep within her chest, and it instantly made him worried.
"Clavaria," he said, reaching out to her, "what's wrong? That doesn't sound good! Are you ill?"
"M-maybe a little," she muttered, looking away. "I'm so very sorry."
"There's nothing to apologise for," he said, "but you should've said something. I'm a priest, I can help with something as mundane as a simple cold. Here, let me heal you."
She allowed him to approach and mutter a prayer, and very soon soothing golden light enveloped her form.
"Is this better?" he asked, finishing his recitation.
"T-thank you," she said quietly. "I think so. It's a bit easier to breathe now. Thank you."
Federico frowned at her words. A bit easier to breathe? But his prayer should've completely healed her. That was odd. But maybe she simply needed rest.
Which is exactly what he told her before sending her back home. Their talk could wait.
The next time they met she started coughing again. She apologised hastily and turned away, covering her mouth with her hand, but the fit continued.
He rose to his feet and approached, alarmed, only to see her cough become worse and worse, until she shuddered violently, and something burst out from her mouth.
He was afraid to see blood, but it wasn't blood. It were... flower petals? Delicate violet petals, smeared with saliva, were strewn across the floor, some of them clinging to her hand, and she looked at them in horror.
"What... is this?!" he asked, just as terrified as her. "We need to get you to the field hospital! Come, quickly!"
He dragged her with him into the main camp, and very soon a whole council of healers from every corner of the world was gathered to look at her symptoms.
"I'm afraid I know what this is," a doctor from Anikka suddenly said, her expression grim. "This is a disease of Petranian origin, and we believe it might be something created by the Lord of Lust herself. It has plagued my homeland for many centuries now, and we call it Hanahaki - Flower Coughing disease. It used to be extremely rare outside of Anikka, but we've seen several cases here on Kurzan already, possibly due to the overwhelming Petranian influence."
"And how do I get better?" Clavaria asked. "It seems like even the primal Light cannot cure it!"
"That's because your own soul is feeding the disease now," the doctor sighed. "Inheritor, I apologise for saying it out loud like this, but... this is too important. Hanahaki can only mean one thing: you are in love with someone, and your love is unrequited. Your only chance of getting better is for that person to return your feelings, otherwise the flowers will grow until they choke you to death."
Silence filled the room then, people turning away in embarrassment. This was such a deeply personal thing to learn about someone, and in such a way too. And yet... It was potentially fatal.
"Is... Is there no other cure?" Clavaria asked softly.
"There is one other option," the doctor said. "We could try and cut the flowers out. It is normally very dangerous, but, with the level of technology and the number of healers at our disposal here, I'm sure it's possible and even relatively safe. There will be a side effect though. Removing the flowers would mean you losing whatever feelings you had for that person, making you indifferent towards them. If that is all right with you, then we should do it, and do it soon."
"Let... Let me think about it," Clavaria whispered, and then she asked to be left alone.
She came to see him again three days later, bringing him fresh reports from the frontlines. She looked pale and exhausted, dark shadows lingering under her eyes.
"Have you not decided what to do about your illness yet?" Federico asked her, deeply concerned.
"No..." she said, looking away. Her voice was hoarse from coughing all the time.
"You don't have much time," he frowned. "Clavaria, this is irresponsible! You are the Inheritor of the Ark! Your life is more important than anyone else's here! We need to help you!"
She sighed heavily.
"But I don't know what to do," she whispered, looking down.
"Try confessing your feelings to whoever that person is?" he suggested. "You could at least try! So many people admire you already, the chances of that person liking you are quite high!"
"No..." she said. "I don't think that person likes me. Not in that sense."
"Then remove the flowers!" he said. "We have every opportunity here to do it successfully. It is the only way of saving you!"
She didn't reply, looking away, her hands shaking.
"Why are you hesitating?" he asked sternly. "I'm sorry, but this is no time to entertain romantic fantasies! You are dying, and the world needs you! You are the only person who can use the Ark!"
She shuddered slightly and suddenly started to cough again. She coughed and coughed, until handfuls of petals burst from her mouth again, and this time they were smeared with blood.
"Clavaria!" he said again, leaning down to where she was kneeling on the floor. "There is no time, you need to make a decision!"
"But... But..." she stuttered, and he saw her reach out and grab several petals with a trembling hand. "But I don't want to forget! That... That feeling... It is the only thing I have!.."
Her voice was suddenly so sad he felt his own chest grow tight. Who was that man (or woman?..) that she loved so much? To the point where even a hopeless unrequited love was important to her, so important she was ready to die for it?
"Clavaria," he said again, holding her shoulders. "Please, listen to me. You need to survive. I... don't know what the situation is, but... I'm sorry, it seems like your love is hopeless anyway. It would be easier for you to live if you aren't burdened by such a one-sided feeling. And I must say it again. You must survive. The world needs you."
She looked up at him then and didn't say anything for a long time, just staring at him.
"...yes," she finally said, slowly getting up. "You are right. I shouldn't be so selfish. This isn't about me."
"This IS about you," he argued. "This is about your very life, your very survival! Please, think about your own life first!"
"I... I will," she looked away again, taking a deep breath. "I will go and find that doctor. I will tell her to prepare the surgery. That will be for the best."
He nodded, and she walked to the door. She paused at the threshold and looked back at him before saying, very quietly:
"Goodbye."
And then she left.
---
The surgery was a success. As soon as it was performed, all residual damage was easily healed by the priests, and the very next day she was already back in action, as if nothing happened. She appeared exactly the same as she was before, and everyone who knew of her delicate problem breathed a sigh of relief. That whole embarrassing situation was over.
Federico was much relieved as well, obviously. He was worried about her safety and glad to see her in good health again. He expected her to come visit him soon enough, there were matters he wished to discuss with her.
Except she never came. He occasionally received reports that were signed by her name, but she never visited him at his humble dwelling. She didn't bring news, she didn't come to him with questions, she didn't want to discuss anything.
He told himself she was busy and tried not to think of it too much, they met often enough in the war room after all. Yet sometimes he now caught himself thinking of her. Of the things he would say to her once they had a chance to talk. Of matters he could use her opinion on. Of questions he wanted to ask her. And she never came.
One evening he paused in front of the chessboard that stood forgotten in the corner, frozen in the middle of their last game, and started thinking of the next move he could make. If she was to do this, then he...
He stopped himself soon enough. She hasn't come to play even a single time after her surgery. It seemed like she lost interest.
The next time they met at the war council he approached her after the meeting was concluded.
"Clavaria," he called out to her.
"Oh, Justiciar," she said, turning to face him. "What can I do for you?"
"I was meaning to ask how you were feeling these days," he said, watching her warily. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes, I'm perfectly fine, thank you," she replied politely. And said nothing else.
"That's... good to hear," he said, suddenly awkward. He realised it was normally her who kept their conversations going. "I wanted to say that if there's anything you wish to discuss or any news worth sharing, my door is always open for you."
She looked at him with what appeared to be surprise.
"Why, thank you," she said. "But there's no need to bother you with every little thing when a simple written report would suffice. I'm sure you are quite busy."
"It's no bother," he shook his head. "I value your opinions very much. You can come at any time. And I would be happy to continue our chess lessons when you are less busy."
"Oh, right!" She suddenly grinned. "Chess! Yeah, don't worry about it. I apologise for taking so much of your time with that nonsense, but I'm bad at it anyway. No need to waste your efforts. I really have no idea why I kept pestering you, that was ridiculous. I'm sorry."
"There... was nothing ridiculous about that," he said, for some reason feeling hurt. Did she really think it was nonsense? But he enjoyed those quiet evenings...
"You are too kind," she replied. "But really, no need. You can use the time to rest and recuperate, that would be much better. Now, is there anything else I can help you with? I promised the Sages I would go talk to them after the meeting."
"No," he said, somewhat lost. "No, that is all. Thank you for your time."
"Take care, Justiciar," she said, "Send a courier if there's anything else you need!"
And then she left, and he remained standing in that same spot, feeling uneasy and confused. Everyone said she was the same now as she was before, yet to him she seemed so very different. She was so calm, yet also so... cold?
Several more days passed, and still she never came. Truth be told, there was no real need for her to visit him. There was nothing she could say that either wasn't already said at the council or couldn't be safely conveyed in a letter. And it has always been like that. She never had to visit him in the first place. But she still did. In the past.
Federico sat back in his chair one evening, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He was tired, and the news from home worried him deeply. There was nothing to be done about it at the moment, yet the anxiety was still there, and he found himself wanting to talk to someone about all this. Someone who would listen, and pay close attention, and offer both sympathy and advice. Someone like her.
But she rarely talked to him now, not unless they were at the council together or there was something truly urgent. And even when she did, she was so distant. He used to believe her attitude towards him was normal, thinking it was her simply being friendly and kind, the same as she was to everyone else. He realised now it wasn't so. She used to be so sympathetic whenever she talked to him. So attentive. So warm.
He took her company for granted and, now that he didn't have it any more, felt like a man who suddenly lost his only cloak in the middle of a winter. And the cold winds were chilling him to the bone.
And then on another evening, as he glanced at the chessboard again, long covered by a layer of ash that got everywhere on Kurzan, he suddenly figured it out.
Her illness. The flowers that choked her. Her unrequited love.
She used to love him.
That was the reason why she kept visiting him. Why she always kept their conversations going. Why she listened to everything he said with rapt attention. Why she wanted to know what he was doing and what bothered him. Why she never said no to anything he asked.
She used to love him.
And the chess. She never had any interest in playing chess. She merely wanted to spend more time with him, and playing the game was an innocent excuse.
She used to love him.
And he told her himself to destroy that love, to cut it out of her body. He called her irresponsible. He told her she had to think of the world, of her mission. He told her to make a decision.
She used to love him.
And she treasured that feeling, unconfessed and unrequited, so much that she was almost ready to die for it. Who knows, had she not been the Inheritor of the Ark, maybe she would've died for it. She would simply allow the flowers to grow until they smothered her and became her funeral wreath.
She used to love him. And now... she didn't. Not any more.
Federico slumped into his chair, suddenly weak. How did he not realise sooner! It was so obvious!
But he thought it was normal. He thought it was nothing special. He thought it would always be like that.
And it was special what she offered him. So very special, and, now that he lost it, he knew he would never have anything like that again. Because he killed her love and now wasn't even her friend any more. He was a stranger, and she didn't care for him one bit.
She never smiled at him like she used to, warm and somewhat shy. She never asked him how he was doing and if something was bothering him. She never told him random stories about her travels. And when she looked at him, her eyes didn't light up immediately, filled with emotion.
Because she didn't love him any more.
---
She was away in Rimeria when Federico's symptoms started. He coughed occasionally at first and eventually more and more often. He tried to heal himself, but it only brought a temporary relief, allowing him to perform his duties more or less unimpeded, but his nights were a nightmare now.
When he started coughing up flower petals, it didn't surprise him. He knew what it was.
He idly wondered why the petals looked different. Her flowers looked like delicate violets. His were white and the petals were of a different shape. Did it mean something? He didn't know and didn't really care. He knew the reason for what was happening to him.
He loved her.
He loved her eyes that rarely gave him a second look now. He loved her voice that never called him by his name. He loved her lips that never smiled at him any more. He loved her heart that was completely closed to him now. He loved her warmth that only existed in his memories.
He loved her.
The logical thing to do would be to approach that Anikkan doctor and request an immediate surgery. His feelings would never be returned, his illness was fatal. Not to mention that he was a priest in the first place. Removing the flowers was an objectively correct choice, there was simply no other way.
Yet now he finally understood her hesitation back then. He understood why she didn't want to cut the flowers out. Because the illness was the only thing he had of her. And losing it would mean losing her - completely, without trace.
And so he did nothing. He used his abilities to maintain his body in working condition, even as he knew that wouldn't be enough at some point. But he didn't care.
He killed her love, and now the flowers would kill him. It was only fair.
---
Clavaria entered the Sacrian encampment with a feeling of slight discomfort. Damned Sacrians! And to think she used to come here often in the past! Was she completely insane?
But right now she had an actual purpose coming here. Under her arm she held an ancient Sacrian scroll, it was an artifact she brought back from Rimeria, and there was only one priest on this whole continent who was both strong enough to unlock it and trustworthy enough. Aside from the Archon himself, of course. And so, reluctantly, she went to speak with him. With Justiciar Federico.
She told herself he wasn't her enemy any more, he was an ally. He did much to help both her people and the combined armies of Arkesia. She had to be polite at the very least.
She knocked at his door. It was rather late already, but most people were still awake.
"Just a moment," a voice said from behind the door, and then there was a short commotion.
Eventually, the door opened, and she stepped inside. There was an odd smell about the room. Flowers? And something metallic. Like fresh blood.
Clavaria looked around.
Federico stood before her without his cloak, in his shirt and pants only. His face and hands were wet. He was extremely pale, dark shadows visible beneath his sunken eyes. And he was staring at her like he was seeing a ghost.
"Good evening," she said, "I hope I'm not bothering you too much. You see, there's this scroll..."
But, before she could take it out, he suddenly started coughing. It was quiet at first and then became louder and more severe, and he turned away.
"Justiciar?" she called out, somewhat worried. What was wrong with him? "Are you okay? Do you need some water?"
"F-fine..." he managed to say. "I'm f-fine..."
And then his palms were enveloped by a golden halo, and he pressed them to his chest. He took several quick gasping breaths and then slowly started to breathe normally again.
"This doesn't look fine," Clavaria frowned. "Are you sure you don't need me to call for someone?"
"No," he said, turning back to face her. "I apologise. Everything is fine. I'm so glad to see you. Please, what is it that I can do for you?"
She tilted her head to the side. So glad to see her? A Sacrian priest glad to see a Delain?
Oh, but of course. He wasn't like other Sacrians. He was her ally. He did so much to help her in recent years. There was no need to doubt him so.
"There is this scroll I wanted you to take a look at," she said, taking out a gilded case and dropping it on top of his desk. "Whenever you have the time. It's not urgent."
"Of course," he said immediately. "Of course I will take a look. I can do it right now..."
"No, no need!" She waved his words away. "You were probably planning to go to rest. It can wait. I won't bother you any more."
She tried to turn around and leave then, but he suddenly stopped her.
"Wait!" he said. "Would you... Would you fancy a quick game of chess then?"
She turned back to him in surprise.
"What? But I already told you, it's a waste of time. Your time first of all. And I'm very bad at it anyway."
"Then tea? Maybe I can offer you some tea?" he asked again.
She paused. That was so very odd. He was trying to delay her, to prevent her from leaving. But why?
"Justiciar, is something wrong?" she asked in return, and for a change looked at him closely.
He sure was handsome, even now, when he was obviously unwell. He had beautiful eyes, light grey like morning mist.
"I... I merely wanted to talk to you," he said quietly, still staring at her. "Please, if you have the time..."
Talk? About what? What was there to say between them that wasn't already said at the council? Yet before she could say anything, he started coughing again.
The cough sounded terrible, and he tried to use his abilities again. Except the fit was so bad the light simply flickered and died around his fingers. He doubled over, then slumped to his knees, his hand on his chest.
"Justiciar!" she exclaimed, running up to him. "What's wrong? You need help! I will call for someone!"
She tried to do just that, but he caught her sleeve and held her with surprising strength, even as he kept coughing. Coughing until a handful of bloodied white petals burst out from his mouth to the floor.
She stared at the petals in horror. Hanahaki. It was Hanahaki! And in a very advanced stage already!
"Please... don't go," he whispered weakly once the coughing subsided. "And don't... tell anyone."
She stopped in her tracks.
"I understand this might be very embarrassing for you, you being a priest," she said, "but you need to do something about it! It's killing you!"
"No," he said. "I will not get rid of it. I won't. I refuse. I won't."
She frowned even more, placing her palms on his shoulders. He was trembling.
"But then you will die! Well, unless your feelings are returned. Can you contact the person you are... interested in?"
"I can," he answered.
"Have you told them about your feelings?" she asked again. "That's the only other way!"
"It won't work," he whispered.
"How do you know?" she asked, frowning. But then, almost immediately, she let out a heavy sigh. "Although... I do understand. When this illness struck me...... You know, I don't remember who it was I even liked back then. Which is probably for the best. But I remember being certain that that person wasn't interested in me. I just knew. Sometimes you simply know."
He slowly lifted his head, looking at her. There were traces of blood on his pale lips, and she reached out and wiped it away, without thinking. His eyes followed the movement of her hand.
"Sometimes you simply know," he agreed. "But then again, even in such situations we are sometimes... wrong."
"Do you think so?" she stared back at him. "You think I had a chance? Well, it doesn't matter now. And at least whoever that person was in my case, they don't have to live with the burden of everything that happened."
He coughed again, turning to the side to spit out another handful of bloody white petals.
"This is about you though," she frowned again. "No one can force you to do the surgery, but if there's even the smallest, most miniscule chance of your feelings being returned, then you have to try and do something! You don't have much time left!"
He shook his head.
"She doesn't care about me," he said quietly. "At all. I know it for a fact."
Clavaria sighed, exasperated. Was he really about to just give up and die? Because of some woman?
"Well, if she truly doesn't care one bit, then you can tell her for sure," she said. "Someone who doesn't care to such an extent won't care anyway! And if you are mistaken, if she does care..."
He coughed again, and more blood splattered on the floor.
"Justiciar!" she called urgently. "There's no time! Tell me who it is! I will take you to her!"
"No need," he sighed. "She is already here."
She froze, trying to comprehend his words.
"Clavaria," he said softly, turning to face her. "I love you. And I am so, so sorry. If only I realised it sooner. If only I didn't take you for granted. If only I never said all those terrible things to you."
She stared at him silently. Did she understand him correctly? He was saying that... that... that she was ill because she loved him?.. HIM?!
She immediately removed her hands from his shoulders.
They told her she would completely forget the man she used to love, but now she seemed to vaguely remember some things. She did visit him all the time. And even asked him to teach her how to play chess. It was ridiculous, and she did it... because she used to love him.
But the flowers were removed. And with them her feelings for him.
She took a small step back.
He looked down, away from her.
"I am so sorry," he whispered. "So sorry."
He coughed again and dropped down to his elbows and knees, entire flowers starting to fall from his mouth. He was dying. The disease was about to kill him.
"No! What are you doing!" she yelled, panicking. "Quickly, we need to get you to the doctor! Come!"
She kneeled at his side and took him by his shoulders again, trying to pull him up.
"N-no," he stuttered. "I won't do it. I won't. I don't want to lose you!.."
What was he even talking about? There was never anything between them! And whatever it was she felt for him, it was cut out of her. He was about to die!
"Stop it!" she yelled at him. "No! The world needs you! How can you allow yourself to die over some stupid girl! Who was apparently so stupid she didn't even understand you could be interested in her as well! We need to save you!"
He chuckled bitterly, even as he kept coughing.
"That's exactly what I told you back then. That the world needs you. But I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget being loved. I don't want to forget how it felt. I don't want to forget you."
"No..." she whispered, watching him helplessly. And suddenly she realised she truly didn't want him to die.
Not because it was a waste of life. Not because he was a trusted ally. Not because they needed him to win this war.
Because of… something else.
"No!" she said again, hugging his trembling form. "No!"
"You are... so warm," he whispered, leaning into her touch. He stopped coughing. She could hear his breath leave his chest with a terrible grating noise. His lungs were full of flowers, he was about to suffocate. "Call me... by my name. Please. Just... once..."
"No!" she cried out, her vision blurry from sudden tears. "No, hang on! Federico! Federico!.."
"Yes..." he whispered, his eyes starting to dim. "Like... that......"
"No!!!" she screamed, shaking him. He didn't react.
She pulled his face closer and pressed her lips to his own, trying to push her own breath into his failing lungs, holding on to him desperately.
"No!" she was thinking. "No, don't die! Don't die! Don't leave me! You are too wonderful to die! Too beautiful! Too kind! Too precious!"
"Federico!" she sobbed against his cold lips. "No, don't die! I... I love you!.. Don't die!.."
And then she kissed him once more, and suddenly his body shuddered violently. She pushed the air into his lungs again, and he inhaled and instantly started to cough, forcing her to pull away.
His cough was different now though, it was dry and rasping, and he kept gasping for air, trembling all over. And no petals appeared on his lips.
"Federico!" she exclaimed, his body slipping out of her grasp as he reared back, still coughing and looking up at her in shock. His eyes were clear again.
He closed them for a second, and a golden halo appeared around his hand. He pressed his palm to his own chest and clenched his teeth, shuddering again. And then the light dissipated, and he fell to the ground, his strength leaving him. But he was breathing. He was panting heavily, his chest rising and falling with every inhale and exhale.
"Federico?.." she called out to him, crawling closer, trying to look at his face. "Are you all right? Can you breathe?"
Instead of answering, he grabbed her arm and pulled her down to the floor, on top of him, his other hand coming up to rest on the back of her head.
"Federico!" she said again, searching his face. "Talk to me! Are you in pain? Do you need a healer? Does it h... mmf!"
She never had the chance to finish, because he pulled her face closer to his own and kissed her, clumsily, but with such passion she felt her head spin.
His lips were still cold, traces of blood remaining on them, and she felt the taste of metal fill her mouth. It reminded her of how close he came to dying, right here in her arms, and she hugged his body, kissing him back.
"Clavaria..." he whispered against her lips, finally able to part with her. His voice was hoarse and slightly broken. "I love you. I love you!.."
"I... I love you too," she said softly. Because she remembered now. She did love him. It seemed impossible now that she could ever even forget. What could those stupid flowers ever do that would make her forget how much she loved him? "How do you feel?"
"I missed you so much," he whispered, staring into her eyes. "So much!.."
And then he was pulling her to him again and kissing her once more. And it was still awkward and clumsy, but she didn't care.
"W-we need to get you off the floor," she muttered, trying to evade his lips that reached out to kiss her again. "It's cold here! You are still weak!"
"I'm fine," he said, holding her tighter. "I'm fine! Don't go!"
And so she didn't and embraced him gently, pressing her ear to his chest, listening to the sound of his breathing. He sighed, as if in relief, and relaxed a little underneath her form. They remained like that, just lying there, in the middle of his room, saying nothing.
Until she finally pushed herself up and looked into his face again.
"You stupid, stupid man!" she yelled, hitting him in the shoulder. "You were about to die! You almost did! Federico!.."
He said nothing, looking up into her eyes.
"Federico!" she continued, suddenly furious. "Why did you allow it to get that far! Are you crazy?! And what if I didn't come to see you today?! Stupid! You are so stupid!!!"
He still said nothing, but smiled broadly all of a sudden.
"Federico!!" She hit him again. "You scared me so much!!! What are you even smiling about, this isn't funny!!!"
"You say it differently every time," he suddenly said, and for a moment she was scared he really was not in the right mind.
"What?" she asked, frowning. "I say what differently?"
"My name," he answered. "Every time you say it, it sounds different."
She blushed, suddenly flustered.
"Clavaria..." he said softly. "Do you love me?"
"Of course I do!" she exclaimed and hit him again. He grunted, wincing slightly.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Immediately worried, she looked him over again. "Talk to me! How do you feel? Does anything hurt? I'm sorry! I'm sorry I keep hitting you! You scared me so much!"
"It's fine," he replied, still smiling. "Hit me all you want, I think I deserve it."
"You... You!!" she all but growled. "Tell me how you feel, right now, or I WILL leave, right this instant!"
"Fine, I feel fine," he whispered, his eyes never leaving her face. "I healed most of the damage immediately. I'm just weak, it will pass."
"You dummy!" she said. "You absolute dummy!"
"Yes, I'm all that and more," he said, before pulling her down into another kiss.
"Mmm," she sighed into his mouth. "Wait, no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you that. That's disrespectful."
"Call me anything you want," he murmured, chasing her lips. "As long as it's you. As long as you care. As long as you're with me."
"F-Federico..." she stuttered, suddenly weak in his arms.
"Yes, this one I like the most," he said, holding her closer to his chest.
And when he kissed her again, it didn't taste like blood any more.
So I tried to do the LoA NPC tier list that Serenitxe made HERE, but gave up eventually, because I like EVERYONE, and way too many people ended up in the A and S tiers. And so I made this crude stupid meme instead.
Me with Kaldor:
I freaking love Kaldor (in a pure, non-horny way), don't ask me why. It's probably at least partly due to me having a terminal case of Feiton-brain.
