Dropping A Partner/Leaving A Group
The full title of this post should be:
Dropping A Partner/Leaving A Group (It’s Okay And You Shouldn’t Have To Feel Guilty About It).
I receive questions concerning this a lot. A lot. A lot.
It seems as though a lot of people coming in to the blog for the first time want me to make individualized responses for their situation. While this is fine, I hope that in this post it can help you to be able to do it yourself if your issue with your partner isn’t too complicated.
There are many reasons why someone may want to drop their partner:
Not being comfortable with their writing style
Not being comfortable with the mun and how they treat you
Partner being clingy, rude, lacking in activity…a million things could go here.
You don’t like where the plot is going and your partner doesn’t want to change it.
Understand that, for whatever reason, it’s okay to drop a partner. It’s also good to know that you do not have to explain yourself. Another good things to DO is to be sure to tell your partner. Disappearing, leaving someone hanging without word is truly unkind and can leave your partner feeling even more hurt than if you had said something.
Saying something allows your partner to move on more quickly.
If you have someone who is interested in roleplaying with you, and you are not interested in roleplaying with them, the most simple thing to say is:
I do apologize, but I cannot say that I am interested. I hope that you can understand and be able to move on and find a partner best suited for you. I do appreciate your time and interest in my character nonetheless.
It’s simple. It’s kind. It let’s them move on.
Understand that it is 100% okay to not want to roleplay with someone. You are not obligated to roleplay with someone you do not want to roleplay with. If someone becomes angry and/or harasses you because you don’t roleplay with them: block them. There is no need for unnecessary negativity.
Now, for dropping a partner for whatever reason you may have, you can use this generic ‘speech’ I’ve made and alter it to your needs.
I don’t want to hurt your feelings as it isn’t my intention, but I feel we should part ways as partners. [You can insert reason here if you’d like to]. I don’t feel that you’re the partner for me and think that the two of us should move on and find partners more suited for us both. I also don’t want to waste your time as well as my own by continuing the roleplay when I do not want to. I hope you can understand and again, I don’t want to offend you or hurt your feelings in anyway.
It’s simple and it gets the point across that you do not want to be partners with them and that you’d like to move on.
Try your best to always be kind. It’s so important (at least, I feel that it is).
And again, if someone tries to be mean to you because you no longer want to continue the roleplay, block them.
There are many reasons as to why someone may want to leave a group:
You don’t like the way the group communicates (i.e. cliques)
You don’t like the way the admins run the group
You don’t like the level of activity
You don’t like how the admins treat some people over others
You’ve found that the group just isn’t for you
Know that it’s okay to leave a group, even if you play a very important character in the story, the plot is at a peak point, whatever. It’s okay to leave.
However, it’s important to let the admins know, instead of disappearing, slowly drifting out, etc. because it allows them to immediately post for a replacement rather than think that you’re going to return at some point.
Let the admins know if you’re leaving. It’s kind of rude not to.
If you’re interested in leaving a group, here is how I would approach an admin:
I know this may be sudden, but I wanted to let you know that I am going to leave the group. [If there is a reason you’d like to apply here, go ahead]. Is there a certain way I should have my character exit the plot or would you like to take care of that after I leave?
For me personally, I would also add:
I can remain active for x number of days to give you time to figure a way around the plot with my character’s absence, if you’d like.
That’s just me being the super stupid nice person I am, though.
Don’t let the admins attempt to guilt trip you into staying. If you want to go, then go. There is no reason for you to have to stay if you’re not interested in staying. It’s okay to leave.
I really hope this helps people who don’t know what to say to someone they want to drop as a partner or what to say when they want to leave a group and encourages people to at least let their partners know rather than disappearing.
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