He could feel his heart crumble in his heavy chest while she spoke, murmuring quiet I love you's between her sentences and kissing her knuckles, her voice strained as if spitting out the words made her throat sting and as if they were connected he felt the pain in his own windpipes. "Please don't say you're hopeless, please don't say that," Blake begged, praying to whoever was listening that she would realize what a special person she is. "You're the epitome of hope, Lil."
He held her close, kissing her temple and rubbing her back, feeling her back move with her breathing beneath his hands. "Lilith, I'll do everything I can, okay?" Blake's voice cracked a bit, and he cleared his throat, trying to sound steady and strong for her, but he was anything but those things when he saw her like this. "But.. I'm not a professional.. Should you see someone, maybe? The therapist on board is good..." But however helpful, he knew how he resented therapy when he had to go. He kissed her other temple before saying, "Scratch that, okay? You can go to therapy, you should, we can ever go together, but I'm gonna teach you to live however I can; we're gonna spend days replaying your favorite video games, and we'll watch your favorite movies, and pig out. Someday we'll even work out, and maybe even we'll eat organic. And we can do dumb shit, like pull pranks on people and do reckless shit that we know will end badly and maybe get arrested and we can use Odette's breast milk pumps and milk me, because why the fuck not? Or, or, we can do really great shit, like volunteer at orphanages in third world countries we've never heard of. And we'll take baths together, like romantic nice baths with candles, or maybe have dirty, clumsy shower sex. And I'll kiss you everyday, more than usual. And, fuck, Lilith, we're travelling the goddamn world!"Ā
He had gotten carried away, thinking about how he and Lilith could live, how he could get Lilith to live, all the possibilities and lives they could live in their natural lives. "Just... Think. We have so much life left, please.. Don't say your hopeless," He whispered, taking a heavy breath.
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