Life of Ivan

Describe myself in 160 characters or less? Here it goes. Combine Sterling Archer, Stan Marsh, Bender, Roger from American Dad, and The Most Interesting Man In The World

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Ivan Khanine - April 30, 2014 at 02:28PM

The name is ultimately derived from the Biblical Hebrew name יוחנן (pronounced [joχanan]), short for יהוחנן (pronounced [jəhoχanan])... Yep. Thanks wikipedia.

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Ivan Khanine - April 30, 2014 at 12:29PM

I should drink less more often.

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Ivan Khanine - April 28, 2014 at 01:44PM

You wouldn't know an English accent if England smacked you in the face with a cockney.

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Ivan Khanine - April 28, 2014 at 10:04AM

It's going to be 95 tomorrow. I'm referring to this as Local Warming.

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Ivan Khanine - April 28, 2014 at 09:49AM

Such coffee. Much hyper. So work.

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Ivan Khanine - April 27, 2014 at 10:29PM

Burn Notice marathon! <3

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Ivan Khanine - April 27, 2014 at 02:29PM

What makes my nose such a great landing pad for gnats ? "LOOK AT THIS CAVERNOUS OPENING! LET'S EXPLORE!" *dead*

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Ivan Khanine - April 26, 2014 at 01:03PM

Sup girl... are you black? Because you just stole my heart.

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Ivan Khanine - April 25, 2014 at 11:00PM

It's so awkward when your friend posts that she had a miscarriage on Facebook, and you accidentally hit the "Like " button.

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Ivan Khanine - April 22, 2014 at 08:06AM

So, I have a cavity. Which is actually amazingly convenient if I ever wanted to save a snack for later.

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Ivan Khanine - April 20, 2014 at 01:01PM

My acceptable oldest age of a woman I'd date is directly proportionate to the square footage of their house. The bigger the house, the older you can be.

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Ivan Khanine - April 18, 2014 at 08:53PM

RIP Undertaker. :(

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Ivan Khanine - April 18, 2014 at 02:46PM

If you live your life for the little things, have I got a treat for you! ...ladies.

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Ivan Khanine - April 18, 2014 at 09:24AM

I want to have a television reality show where we get one drunk person, and one high person to make food out of whatever they have available in their fridge. Lil Jon and Snoop Dogg are the judges. Lil Jon eats the high food while drunk, and Snoop eats the drunk food while high. #milliondollarshow #areyoulisteningMTV?

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Ivan Khanine - April 18, 2014 at 03:25AM

I love the fact that when my facebook friends break up, their wall is much more active about the things they're doing. Don't lie, your life's still boring. Except this time you're excited about watching pokemon or some shit. Alone.

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Ivan Khanine - April 17, 2014 at 11:53AM

Andre from Wu Tang cut off his penis and jumped out of a window in an apparent suicide attempt. Wu Tang Clan... ain't got nothin to fuck with.

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Ivan Khanine - April 17, 2014 at 10:10AM

Nirvgaga. Smells Like Teen Pokerface.