Mmhmnnnmmhmhmn

Read my various things

[if--then]

welcome to faggot land it’s like candy land but gay

[microqwavve]

[if--then]

Where I post from

[if--then]

The many reincarnations of my blog

[if--then]

read "perpetrator complex" as "penetrator complex" and can't stop thinking

I have that too

every wall needs twelve more nails in it

...what were you thinking

[if--then]

Okay class now what did they name after Philip Farming

mmm not quite

they named the process of putting water in a container after him

[if--then]

I have a perpetrator complex

I hope you like global warming because I fucking did that

[if--then]

Up until the age of six I had four arms (4)

four of them (4)

but then now I have one (1)

please understand

[if--then]

I've never seen the light of day I glow big and bright and my mom said I'm a star I am entirely composed of burning helium gas

[microqwavves-grandpa]

ohh i have skin cancers

[if--then]

I heard they put helpful skin cream in the slushies if you want to lather up grampgaur

[if--then]

my blog isn't shower thoughts unless there's something seriously wrong with your shower

[if--then]

do you think there has ever been a

time where someone said

"I need to know asap" and a$ap rocky pops in like

what hey here it's m

[if--then]

I'm going to be a cartographer and all of my maps will be schizophrenic

imagine your shock when one of them is a perfect layout of the dream you had last night

[if--then]

meningitis?

well please, doctor, point me in the direction of Gitis then

[crabussy]

what is your favorite brand of cheap low-level canned fish I need to know ASAP or I'm Fucked.

I DON'T REALLY EAT CANNED FISH I'M SO SORRY. YOU ARE FUCKED MY FRIEND

[if--then]

OH WOW IT'S OVER WITH

come to my funeral...

[if--then]

bioengineering goldfish to dissolve in water

FUCK goldfish

whoosh gone you intolerable fuck you gone try breathing now huh

[if--then]

crystal cat crystal cat tell me your secrets

krystal cat: it's with a K actually

[if--then]

Spiderman type situation but instead of the enemy trying to turn into a lizard he's trying to get a rat dick so he can cum 7-8 times in a single session back to back

[if--then]

I'm going to bury you in confidential letters.

That doesn't mean you can open them thou

its secret :) shhhhh secret