aka MusicSoul1982 on AO3

Marie/18+/Writer for Star Wars Slowly watching my own descent into madness from outside my own body, like a bad episode of a TV drama that you don't want to be a part of, but also don't have a choice in.

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

Currently reading My Name Was Safest in Your Mouth and omfg i am BARKING , thank you for writing!!

Thank you so much, friend! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. That fic was a lot of fun to write! :)

~Marie

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

-Coworker walking in-

Them, very excitedly: how are you doing? What's new?

-Me, just shaking my head-

Them: that bad, huh?

-me, just nodding my head-

Them: slushies?

Me: it's like 10am.

Them: it's five o'clock somewhere?

Me. At 10 am:

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

*Me, vibing around lunch time*

My brain to me: Ah, yes. It is lunchtime. We should have food.

Me, to my brain: Yes, yes you are correct. Let me get that iced coffee now.

My brain: No...no I mean food.

Me: With milk so that there are some healthy fats and calories to sustain myself.

My brain: No, like actual food that will sustain you through the rest of the day. You need more than spite and caffeine.

Me: Ah yes. This is exactly what I needed.

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

I always find myself rereading all your works its so brain itchy the unconventional and thorough way you layer relationships

Any pairings or things you yourself wanna see or read more of?

So...here's the thing.

Obviously, like so obviously, JastObiKal scratches an itch so deeply inside my brain that I'm sure I could bathe in it and still never be satisfied.

Actually any iteration of JastObi, KalObi, JastKal, or JastObiKal has my whole fucking heart.

But, recently, I lost my mind a little (murder trials will do that to you. Sometimes life be like that, you know), and got sucked into Seventeen and Stray Kids fanfiction and I read a fic that completely rewired how my brain works and I've gone as far as to learn about both Seventeen and Stray Kids to read more of this person's fics, and I've just sunk down into it and perhaps, when my mental stablity returns from the war, I will drag myself out of the pit I've found myself in but until then:

Bang Chan/Changbin

Scoups/Jeonghan

Hoshi/Woozi

DK/Joshua

and various iterations of threesomes and eightsomes and thirteensomes have invaded my life, and I fear that perhaps my brain is closed for the season as I try to dig myself out of my overly long manic episode, and also feel like I'm inside my body again, I will return from the war (SVT and SK fanfic) and return to my love (JastObiKal and other iterations, plus JangObi, Codywan, AlphaObi, and ObiClones).

Which, I'm not sure this was the answer you were looking for, but it's the best I've got. 😂😂😂

~Marie

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

Have been vibing to the story loop of a jastobi set up but it’s a pretty close jastobikal, and Jaster kinda fucks up and basically fumbles obiwan and Kal is like DUDE if I knew you were going to fumble him I would have taken him!

As Kal should! He deserves to thieve if Jaster isn't going to do it right. Give him the boy. He'll take good care of him until Jaster gets his head out of his ass or until he gets to marry Obi. He's not picky about which he gets.

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

Hi, sorry if I'm bothering you. I love your fics and am doing a massive rereading and leaving kudos on those that I reread and never checked out your tumblr before and just wanted to say: hi, I think you're a great writer, thanks for sharing all your lovely fics!

You are definitely never a bother! I always love to hear from people who enjoy my fics! It makes the whole posting process worth it for me! Sorry for the late response, I've been kicked into the dirt by IRL, but unfortunately, that's the price we pay to live in the world we live in. XD

Thanks for the kind words! They were great to hear. 🥺🥺🥺

~Marie

[worm-strung-string]

This took far too long.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

*me making a cup of green tea at work as I sip on an americano*

Coworker: Aren't you drinking coffee?

Me, taking a sip: Yes.

Coworker: But your making tea.

Me: Yes.

Coworker: That's so much caffeine.

Me:...

Me, finally: If it's the caffeine that takes me out then my bloodline was weak and I wouldn't survive the winter anyway.

My coworker, who pops two adderall every Tuesday for what I assume is shits and giggles:....yeah that's fair.

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

My whole being is protesting this consciousness thing, so if you need me I'll be listening to a kpop band I know soley from thirst tweets and vaguely story plotting as I vibe and question how much it would cost to play the lottery every weekend so that my soul may know the peace of worry-free finances.

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

Have you ever wanted to scrub yourself off of the internet? And maybe the real world too. But like, unfortunately it's a shitty price tag sticker of a life and there's no rubbing alcohol just water and spite.

[anxiousotters]

art for my codywan nhl au!!

Cody Fett is the Oilers’ rookie goalie who ends up falling for his seasoned captain (and generational talent two-way center), Ben Kenobi

close ups under the cut!!

[frostbitebakery]

Last Line Challenge

@cacodaemonia threw the challenge gauntlet and I finally finally can participate in these again bc I have stuff!

I think you gotta zoom in for this? Last line is the red bit in his damaged eye. (Okay but I really dig the flat colors with the special effects 👀)

NPT! @elwenyere @merlyn-bane @omaano @ominouspuff @anstarwar @dontbelasagnax and whoever wants to show off their WIP!

Buckypup and I wish you all a happy and kind 2026 💜

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

Me: I'm just playing a game. It's called intrusive thought or call my psychiatrist?

My poor current friend/ex coworker: I don't like this game.

Me: Me either but I really need to know.

CF: *sigh*.....okay, give it to me.

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

People being in the office when no one is supposed to be in this office is harshing my vibe.

What do you mean I can't scream Over My Head by The Fray at top volume, while it plays so loud you can hear it from the outside the building?

How am I supposed to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss in these conditions?

Some of us are trying to write Winter God Jaster, you know. 🙄🙄🙄

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

New Genre of Office Chaos:

Leaving notes in Korean from attempts at translating and getting sent a picture of my own note with '???' and being like, 'well I translated it so, so can you, really.'

#keepthemguessing

[ifonlyweknewwhatiwasdoing]

Obsessed with Jaster’s zabrak *cough*anatomy*cough* in some of your works

Hello friend!

Thank you! I'm also obessesed with it, as one could probably tell from my work. XD