thanks, obama.

i am the real chip skylark. hamswissonri [rp only]

[hedonist--poet-deactivated20240]

You are not designed for everyone to like you.

(via sexual-feelings)

[monica-geller]

yesterday at target the cashier said ‘your receipt is in the bag’ and i responded with ‘you too’ so i’ve been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but i’m slowly coming to terms with it which is cool

[mathed-potatoes]

Yesterday I went to dinner to catch up with my buddy from the math department, and he told me this story about how he ran the city marathon in 2 hours, 59 minutes. That’s an amazing time. He was 19th out of thousands. 

He was doing pretty well for the first half, but then his ankle started to hurt. He slowed down for a bit, but then this girl he passed before passed him, and he started overthinking whether or not it was awkward to pass the same person multiple times, and, like, what if they small-talked about it? He decided it was better to pass her and stay ahead, so he picked up the pace. A few miles later, he fell in with two dude-bros who started talking to him. Not pleased to find himself in the company of dude-bros, he pulled ahead once again. This continued for a while; every time he got closed to a group of other marathoners, his social anxiety kicked in and he ran faster because he felt nervous being near people. 

TL;DR A mathematician ran an record marathon to avoid making small-talk with randos. He introverted his way into qualifying for the Boston marathon. 

[mercury]

If the sun were to explode, you wouldn’t even know about it for 8 minutes because that’s how long it takes for light to travel to us. For eight minutes the world would still be bright and it would still feel warm.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer (via mercury)

[iforgotsunday]

i can’t tell if it’s unliking or letting me like some of these more than once, but it’s entertaining at least.

[littledonkeyburrito]

you know how a period is supposed to last 3-7 days

who is that asshole that only has to suffer 3 days

[schyther]

How freaking long are your classes? The longest period I had was 50 minutes.

[sejient]

[ziggy--sane-blog-deactivated202]

There was so much innocence in that comment

[iguanamouth]

i dont care about horsepower ok i wanna know the conversion rates for other animals. how many snakes would it take to move your car

[mirandatacchia]

[lebritanyamor-deactivated202601]

this is cute af

[colourofoctober]

*Has lived in the same house for 9 years*

*Still doesn’t know which light switch is which*

[mjalti]

someone: *notices an intimate detail about me & shares the observation with me* me: who are u working for

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

*plugs phone into computer to charge* yes my child, drain the life from your superior,

[blurberrys]

If we’re mutuals and I ever awkwardly reply to a post yes that is me trying to communicate with you and I’m very sorry

[plants4]

when u mean to type “believe” but accidentally type “beliebe”

[caffeinegalore]

[weloveshortvideos]

[thegoodvibeco]

[2ndsong]