Bacon & Man Stuff.

mets, jets, and processed pork. served with a side of sarcasm, cynicism, and laughter.

[ifthisischemical]

There are so many words I could use. So many different phases that I could choose, but all it comes down to is I miss you.

[ifthisischemical]

PSA about hygiene at college.

[smallplantfriend]

just so we’re clear, i use

dude

bro

man

gurl

babe

bby

loser

as gender-neutral and affectionate names

[silenthill]

don’t forget son

[laughtercues]

What am I forgetting dad

[ladyrivendell]

You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.

[midnightjellys]

What is your ultimate fantasy?

Financial stability.

[padfootvioletstilinski-deactiva]

[welcome-foolishmortals]

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

[jocundasykes]

ICH WEINE

[ianoshea]

The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

[the-sans-sheriff]

THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

[temperamentalheavingheart]

this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.

homohotlips69

[loglight]

Holy shit I am dying from laughter

[panicmatthews]

HUNGRY for DONG

[frink-o-matic]

Ah, shit. My stomach aches. *phew*

[primisthebomb-deactivated201812]

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

[hereby]

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

[caspiankingofnarnia]

I threw a grape in the air I went to catch it I swear It hit a spider that fell and now they’re on my face

[shoona]

If you are having a bad night here is a drawing if a snake wearing a boot

[lphnsfw]

[ifthisischemical]

dangering:

My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart

[ryperbole]

[sizvideos]

[moriahari]

HOLY SHIT

[surprisebitch]

PLOT TWIST

[kenby]

why u lick me

[ogallure]

[sweeneyway]

to join the black parade

[luridtomb]

my blueberry muffin looks exactly like my dog I’m gonna cry

[starllex]

I don’t get how babies can cry at restaurants lol like nigga why you cryin there’s food around you rejoice

[pleatedjeans]

via

[the-average-gatsby]

imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers

so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off

[dinogore-blog]

when ur parents go out food shopping