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@ignore-decor
Well now that weāre back to our separate homes. All the feelings have returned lmbo.
Seeing all these engagements and wedding photos has me in my feelings Bc I will never get to have mine smh. And the ones we do have suck ass and were never posted all in the name of ākeeping stuff private and intimateā
This year Iām reclaiming my fine-ness and posting pics and looking good af. Bc whether ol boy post me or not, Iāll be posting my Damb self for the world to see. āŗļø
Credit: UNILAD
Me watching the ice split
penguins can swim you know that right
Thatās not the POINT he made it back with his FRIENDS
Iām toooooo caring. Too selfless. Too loyal. To a point that itās becoming a detriment to myself. Here I am making plans to take this boy to the mall to smell colognes so I can buy him oneā¦and a cigar shops to buy him cigars. And he done made plans to see his frat brothers lol. Albeit for a few hours but itās the whole ājust letting you know Iām going to do this tomorrowā part of it and not asking if I had plans.
Then I keep seeing and hearing stuff that makes it apparent that the wedding couldāve happened and itās just making me more upset. One moment I think Iām over it, and the next Iām ready to just do my own thing. Bc apparently thatās what weāre doing now. Separate finances. Canāt communicate. Inconsistencies in your thoughts. Poor sex lifeā¦why am I here lol. Love is not enough.
And I hate that this ngga loves to talk about our personal problems to his friends. I donāt be sharing shxt. Okay well I do but itās different. His friends donāt know me and idk them. When I talk to my friends they be on his side or tryna root for him. (And i talk to FEW people. I donāt have several frat brothers I run to. Ugh what they say about frats not thinking for themselves has seemed to be even more true this year.) They can be unbiased. And even if his friends are unbiased, idk that Bc I DONT KNOW them like that. Idk man. I donāt wanna feel like this for longer. I know marriages take time and take work but at what cost. What if I donāt wanna do the work. What if we just need to redefine ourselves as individuals and come back together as a ācoupleā later. I resent myself so much for going through with things last year when I already had so much reservations. Shouldāve just did a commitment ceremony without legalities and did therapy.
I just hate that the fabrication of it all. Those who you claim to be your closest friends donāt even know your past and upbringing and how it affects you. But your loyalty is to them. We havenāt even shared our wedding pictures on social media Bc youāre a āprivate personā. Fck around and have people thinking Iām single out here if ya want to ngga. I even had to pop out of that as well. Like Iām fine asf ngga. If Iām wasting my time just say that so I can live a thotful and prosperous life. I want to be showed off. And if itās in vain then dammit itās in vain. If Iām not looking good for you to show me off, then Iām doing it for my Dam self.
"it's that fuckin chocolate guy again!!" I say, already knowing I'm gonna reblog
My Godddd
W I T C H C R A F T
Iām laying here in the dark hating the fact that we have to feed ourselves.
One thing about getting my pup back tomorrow is itāll force me to get up so I can take him to potty smh.
I shouldāve taken a leave of absence
M O O D +
Not You throwing shade at tumblr lmboooo. But thatās exactly why Iām back on. Bc nobody uses it. š
Pimp Cās account and his wife showed me love for this. There are no other words besides thank you @chinarabutler @darealpimpc #prayforhouston #livefromtheunderground
Wow. Bc I was just saying the āAfrican American urge to not wear Tommy Hilf*gerā ššš #IYKYK
This is so beautiful! I love how soft and natural everyone looks! The whole āstoic Solange weddingā look shouldāve been reserved for her. This is so sleek!!!!!
Amen
Whole squad ate!
This week has been a turning point in my relationship. Iāve tried being patient with this man. Iāve given him space when needed. And now Iām done. In the same way heās been thinking about himself and how to change up his ways. Iām done being the only genuine one trying to make this work. So Iām basically just here to journal how this journey goes. And Bc I deleted and deactivated all my social media lol. Iām going back into turtle mode. I wish the best for this situation, but unfortunately, Iām not gonna continuously defeat myself so that someone else can feel bad or realize my pain. Nah. Too much good stuff happening to me, to be subjecting myself to that. I canāt let NANNN nigga get in the way of what Iāve finally gotten close to achieving.
Also I feel sorry to the reader (probably no one bc tumblr is dea d these days lol) bc this message is so damb cryptic. ššš
š
Back to where it all started. š
Chš
Take the time to watch this, itās MAGIC
what even
