A single step forward can protect your dream.

Indie ask & RP blog of Shirou Emiya from Fate/Stay Night.

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

@motherfuckingsaintofdestruction

He listened to her explain what was going on, even if every other sentence included an insult about his ineptitude or stupidity. For some reason he started thinking about Tohsaka after ten minutes of it, wonder what brought that on. Wait, she was trying to get his attention again. Had he drifted for that long? 

"Right. So you're telling me I'm part of this ancient war between seven people, and that beings like you and the man in blue are our weapons to fight it?" 

It sounded perfectly sane, if he were psychotic. Still, he couldn't deny something was off about that spearman. His hand instinctively trailed along his chest, searching for some sort of remnant of the stab he'd endured mere hours ago. Nothing. Like he'd never even been hurt. But the bloodied shirt knew different, the pain he'd felt as he almost died knew the different. For now it seemed he had no choice but to take her word for it. "Well. I suppose now I should ask simpler questions. What's your name? Do you want tea?"

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

Okay. That one's not on me I got used to Euryale.

[axiasprompts]

Send “💭” For A Thought My Muse Had of Yours!

[comtevengeur]

Like for an Avenger in your inbox

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

ℒ for Gelalnin plz

Dear, Archer

I’m writing this down to give to you because I doubt I could ever get it out verbally. Not only would I be unable to say it properly, but you never seem to want to wear pants when I’m home, something that makes having a serious conversation much more difficult.

Plus… I’m not sure how much more time we’ll have together. The Grail war goes on day after day, but it will not last forever. At the very least, if you do not wish to read this you can throw it away and forget it ever happened. But I want you to know, I will never forget you. From day one your radiance has been blinding. At first I thought it was simply intimidation, your raw power showing me a realm I could never attain. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Your light isn’t from the weapons that shimmer in your gate, its from you. Your eyes, your hair, the way you talk or walk, its all blinding to a simple man. Its made me wonder, am I allowed to dream? I’m an average man, I have nothing of value to help change the world. Yet I want nothing more than to save the entire world from ever being hurt again. I know it will take everything I am to achieve this, or even dream of achieving this. I am resigned to that. But still…. Can a damned man make a wish? Would a Queen of all hear it out? If you would, I wish to never leave you. My wish is to stay with you forever. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help myself from wanting to capture the sun itself just once. You are my wish for this war, Gelalnin, I love you.

Sincerely, Shirou.

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

ℒ

Dear Hero,

In honesty I’m not sure if you’ll even read this, I’m sure it’ll end up being used as a napkin after eating or something. But I guess that’s good, it means I can say what I like without fear of you marching up and demanding an explanation.

You try to say I’m strong, how I’ve always been strong, but I can’t seem to agree to that. If I was strong I could’ve saved you from becoming like this, if I was strong I could’ve saved the Saber you killed off. But I couldn’t. I let her die. Just like I let you die to save Sakura. I’m not strong, if I was I could’ve saved you long ago. But I’m going to be strong. I’ll get the power needed to save you, even if it kills me in the end. This is all I can offer you, because I can’t lose you again. If I’m strong, I should’ve been able to free you from the pain you endure, but I selfishly keep you close so I don’t have to handle the burden of killing you three times over. I should apologize for that, but even if I did it wouldn’t be sincere. Its selfish, but I never want to be away from you again. Watch over me, I’ll free you from this hell one day, that’s a promise. Even if you curse me, even you despise every step I take, I’ll love you.

Sincerely, the villain of this story.

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

ℒ for Jalter?

@motherfuckingsaintofdestruction

Dear Jeanne,

I’m teaching you to read, so I figured writing out letters should help you practice while I’m out of the house. You’ve been doing pretty good so far, but I’m putting a few new words into this one for you. Let’s see if you can keep up.

I still remember how you looked that night, because of your strength I never wanted you to know about the old fire. Please, don’t worry about me. Fight however you need to to survive, even if it ends up burning me up I can accept it to protect you. I’ll admit, when you first went all out like that I saw you the same as that fire. Wild, horrifying, all consuming, I was sure I’d be burned alive a second time just by standing near you. But I was wrong. I shouldn’t compare you to a wild fire, but rather a fireplace. You burn, and in the wrong hands you could set the world on fire, but I’m not afraid of you. You have a kinder heart than you realize, why else would you even feel guilt for your flames? You sound crude and cruel, but I see the look in your eye when you try turning your back to me. You’re lonely and afraid.

Jeanne, if I asked, would you let me help you? I want to save you from that loneliness. I want to give you someone to trust in, something to lean on when everything comes crashing down. I don’t want you to disappear, not ever. I haven’t touched you some of these next words, because when I say them I want it to be the first time you realize it. I love you, if my life is intertwined with yours I would know no greater joy. I’ll win this war for you, and your wish can come true. After it does, will you stay with me? I don’t mind a fire if it helps light up the long nights.

Sincerely, Shirou.

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

ℒ gently slides this in if that's alright!

Dear Ali,

You know, I’m not quite sure how to write these? I don’t talk to many people outside of seeing them at school or work. Ah, sorry. I’m already rambling and I haven’t even started yet. Its about how we met. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, wondering if I ruined something with that sort of introduction. But the truth is, if something was ruined I’m not sure I would’ve wanted it that way regardless. I should still apologize for the sudden kiss, but you should know I’ve been wanting to do it again. I guess this is kind of like a confession, if this letter ends up in your locker I’m sorry I didn’t tear it up.

I should get to the point. I want to be with you. I want to help you through your struggles, and assure you everything will be alright. I want to be able to kiss you again, more than once if its possible. If you don’t want that, you can tear up this letter without a second thought and everything can go back to normal. But if you keep this letter… Show me a sign that you did?

Sincerely, Shirou.

[rpmemesupreme-blog]

send me a ℒ and my i’ll write a love letter my muse would write about/to yours!

[nymue]

When you’re not asexual but fully support those who are and will gladly curse the living daylights out of those who do not.

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

When you're not too pretty for the world but still a useless asexual. 

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

"We could be like... Like a family..." (Does this count as angst? I don't know but here have this thing anyways, I'm so late with the memes, geez)

His breath caught in his throat at her statement, he should’ve known it was only a matter of time before she said such a thing. Still, when it finally came out he couldn’t help but be stunned by it. She was dangerous, he knew that. She’d wanted to kill him for years before even knowing him. But looking at her now, he could barely remember those things. All that seemed to matter was protecting this little girl from the harshness of her old life, of making her see the happiness of having something to believe in. So it wasn’t even a question to him, he’d accepted her as his family the moment she came through his door. “Yeah. We’re like a small family. You, Fuji-nee, and me.”

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

"...WHAT did you just say?" (Muse: Archer!Gilgamesh)

That damn tone of his made his skin crawl. He wanted to punch Archer in his face and prove he walks on the same ground he did, but how did an ant fight a Titan? He didn’t know if he could, he just knew he wanted to be as big a bother as he possibly could. If that meant enraging the King of heroes then so be it. He’d see the golden bastard seething before he coward down. “I said shut the hell up. Saber isn’t here, so I’m going to be your opponent. If you think it so pathetic, guess you’ll have to beat me as soon as possible. If you can.”

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

Torture

Torture. Such a simple word, so many variations of it. Life was torture. Surviving that fire was torture. How many times has he wondered if it would’ve been easier had Kiritsugu found someone else. Really, he thinks about that too often. When he wakes up with the taste of smoke down his throat, when he sees a spark and falls back into the helplessness of that fire, when he’s told how empty and hollow he seems. Did Kiritsugu make the right choice? If he didn’t, where does that leave him? A broken shell left alone to atone for surviving hell. Yeah, in the end every day was torture. The ache in his bones and the emptiness in his heart knew for certain that he survived just so he could be tortured. In the end, torture is just another word for living.

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

That so-called queen of yours is such a selfish animal. How can you let her do nothing but take from you without really giving. What you think she actually loves you? She's never truly loved anyone in her life! All she can do is satisfy her own selfish wants until she gets bored. Then she'll cast you aside like all the rest. Her declarations of love are nothing but lies. She is a terrible heartless tyrant using you for her own emotional gratification.

He considered those words much like he considered the outcries people often gave about his well being, so it was little more than a bad idea of a joke to him. In the end it didn’t really matter to him if they were right or not, it wouldn’t shock him if they were. He knew it was a foolish idea that someone so powerful could feel anything for the likes of him. He wasn’t anything special, and he certainly didn’t deserve the affection of another. Besides, he’d given up everything about himself for the happiness of others, how was this different? If this made her content, he’d handle the suffering of being discarded. So long as she was happy in the end, his suffering was unimportant. So he referred to the stranger with an empty smile, much like he showed to anyone that wasn’t the golden Queen. “Maybe so, but doesn’t she look better with a smile?”

[selfmartyredsurvivor]

Last Words

My characters last words to yours before they die/as they're dying.

1: "You're the only thing in this entire god forsaken world I ever loved."

2: "Why?"

3: "You betrayed me."

4: "You're the only thing I'll regret leaving behind."

5: "You're the only reason I wanted to live."

6: "I'm happy that you're beautiful face will be the last image I'll see before I go."

7: "You did this to me."

8: "I don't think I planned this very well..."

9: "Am I bleeding?"

10: "How do my insides look?"

11: "I didn't like this shirt anyway."

12: "I see a light..."

13: "Can you just...hold me? Just a little longer."

14: "I can't feel my legs."

15: "Don't forget me."

[inverted-iris-blog]

Starter Call (revised)

I didn’t realize it till after I posted it, but I forgot to mention a few details that I usually do in starter calls ^^;

Sorry for the trouble orz

I prefer to write my starters by hitting up whoever I owe them via their preferred means of chatting, whether that be IM on here, Discord, etc. so I can ask them what variation, verse, and scenario they would prefer ^^

Of course, if you’re not comfortable communicating with me like that for whatever reason, still feel free to like the call!

I’ll do my best to figure something out ^^

I have a tendency to sometimes get really passionate, so also please bear in mind that my starters may get quite long. There is no need for you at all whatsoever to match length! I’ll do my best to match any replies!

Now then, please like or reblog for a starter of variable length; the call is presently uncapped but still mutuals only, so please keep that in mind!