I wrote this while listening to:
(English isn't my first language so please tell me if you find any grammar errors ✨ )
(It made @syunsww1 annoyed and @opchara thrown her phone because of this fanfic)
Tw: Death, Angst, Anxiety attack
You knew she was important to him.
Himeno told you that she and Aki slept with each other before you two started dating. She promised to keep her hands to herself and she did. You weren’t the biggest fan of Himeno. You didn’t agree with some of her actions, but you both disliked Makima so you knew she wasn’t the worst. She also was your boyfriend's best friend and you knew he wouldn’t become friends with horrible people.
It was obvious he would be upset if she died, but you never knew it would affect your relationship this bad.
The morning was normal. You woke up next to your boyfriend like you did everyday. He stretch and gives you a kiss on your forehead.While he went to have a smoke you started to prepare breakfast for you two, Denji and Power. You grew really close to them. Caring for them like you would with your family. At the beginning you didn’t know how to feel about them moving in but now you wouldn’t change a thing. When you first heard about the attack on public safety members, you were really worried. You know that they can fully protect themselves but that doesn’t make them unkillable. You waited hours and hours with nothing but silence. Then it happened.
When you got the call it took you a second before you were out the door and heading to the hospital. When you entered the hospital you saw Denji and Power. They looked just fine, but what can you expect when they can heal by just drinking some blood? You gave them a quick hug and asked them if they were okay. Denji nodded his head and Power started to rant about how she would never be this easily defined. You smiled, it makes you happy to know they didn’t get killed. You were about to start to speed walk when you heard Denji call out.
“Y/N!” You turn around to look at him. “He's a little bit odd but he will be fine.” You gave him a smile.
“I hope so.” You said then started to walk to the room he was in.
You were really nervous for some reason. You don't know why.
Denji said that Aki is fine, then why so nervous? He’s Aki. All though Denji said that he’s a ‘bit odd’? What did he mean by that?
You have your hand on the door handle. It's shaky. You slowly opened the door. And there he is, laying on the bed while facing the window.
“Aki? Are you okay?” You ask in a clam voice.
“She’s dead. Himeno is dead.” He answered while still looking through the window. “I even used the damn sword and I couldn’t save her.”
What? How is that possible? Why did Denji and Power not say anything when you came in? Were they separated before the attack? Do they know she’s dead? He used the sword. He promised not to use it.
You didn’t know what to say. It was clear. You were in shock. How could you not be in shock? How strong were the people they fought?
“No, of course not. How can I be okay? Himeno is dead Y/N, and you're asking me if I’m okay?”
“Of course I will ask if you're okay. I’m worried about you! Especially when you used the sword you promised not to use.” What is he on about? How can you not ask if he was okay? He was attacked and now you find out that he used the curse devil and that the people were strong enough to kill Himeno. Of course you will ask if he’s okay!
“Why are you even here? We were just attacked, so what makes you think it's safe for you to leave the house?” He finally looks at you.
“What on earth makes me safe at home? Plus this isn’t about me, Aki you were almost killed!”
“Well I’m clearly not dead.”
“Why are you so mad at me? I didn’t do anything. I understand that you lost someone important to you but that doesn’t mean you can’t take it out on me.”
“Y/N I really don’t need this right now.” You really don’t understand what you did wrong. You understand that he’s upset but he is acting like it was your fault that she died.
“Tell the nurse to call me when you're ready to talk or just feel better. I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you upset.” You gave him a sad smile then stood up and left.
You never got a call from the hospital.
And when he was well enough to come back home, he treated you differently. He would wake up before you so each morning you woke up alone in bed. He wouldn’t hug you from behind while you were cooking and wouldn’t even cook with you, which was something you guys did really often when making dinner. Anything that could be a sign of love was gone from him. At the beginning you thought it was because of losing someone close to him, but he would act exactly the same way he did before Himeno’s death with Denji and Power, so what’s wrong when it comes to you two?
You were cleaning after dinner when you heard footsteps approaching you.
“Y/N?” You looked in the direction of the voice. It was Denji.
“What’s up?” You asked with a simple smile while putting away the clean dishes.
“What’s going on with you and Aki? You two were so lovey-dovey with each other, now I barely see you guys looking at each other.” Well you surely didn’t expect Denji to confront you about it, but at the same time you knew that one of them would ask sooner or later. You just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
“Well-” You were about to answer, but what with? The truth is, you don’t know yourself. It’s like someone flipped a switch and turned all of his feelings off. “I wished I could answer the question, but I don’t know the answer myself.”
“Oh well, I think that you guys should talk about it! That’s what you told me when me and Power were fighting. Yea it doesn’t always work because Power’s ego is too big but it should work with you guys! After all you guys have been together for some time now.” He finished with a smile. If only everyone were this positive and simple minded. You gave him a small laugh.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” You smiled as you raffled his hair.
When you were getting ready for bed you saw Aki from the corner of your eye as he walked into the room. No hello, no ‘you alright’ , absolutely nothing. You felt your chest tighten.
“Can we talk?” You started while looking at him while he had his back turned to you. The anxiety started to kick in. You could feel your body getting hotter, starting to run out of breath. Your hands begin to shake the exact same way they did whenever the idea of him getting hurt or potentially killed crosses your mind. The same way they did back then in hospital.
“What about?” He asked without even looking.
“About us, Aki. At the beginning I thought I was just overreacting or imagining things but even Denji confronted me about it.”
“About what?” He said while taking off his t-shirt.
“Us being…whatever this is.” He frowned. “This isn’t a relationship nor is it healthy. It feels like we are on two different sides, like we couldn’t be farther away.”
“What do you mean?” He said while turning around to face you.
“Like you don’t love me anymore.” You answer with a sad smile. “It just feels like you are forcing yourself to even be in the same room as me. Like you hate being around me.” You started to move your hands while explaining. “Ever since Himeno’s death you treat me so much differently yet you are treating everyone else the same. I understand that there is a lot going on and that you might struggle with it but that’s why I’m here to help yet you treat me like I’m the reason why everything is the way it is, like I’m the reason why you lost the contract with fox devil, like I’m the reason why Himeno died.” You said while almost choking on your own words.
“Why would you think that?”
“How can I not? Aki I don’t remember the last time you looked at me, talked to me or even touched me.” You said while feeling warm tears running down your face.
He looked down. He opens his mouth to say something but then closes them. Was he actually that bad of a boyfriend?
“What would you do if I said that I did feel like you were the reason?”
“Leave.” You looked away. “What else would be there for me to do? I wouldn’t have a reason to stay. I mean if you truly see me as the problem.”
“What about Denji and Power?”
“They need you more than me.” You truly care about them, but you know Aki would take better care of them.
You looked back at your boyfriend to find him looking at you with a sad expression.
“Do you want to leave?” He asked in a quiet voice.
“Does it matter? I’m being pushed away. It doesn’t matter what I want.” You looked down at your hands and started to fiddle with them.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner about how you feel?”
“When could I? You work and when you don’t you ignore me. Treat me like I’m a ghost. I tried but each time I would just be ignored. And in the morning? I don’t remember the last time I fell asleep next to you, waking up next to you doesn't even exist anymore. ”
“Right.” He hates that you're right. He remembers doing it on purpose at the beginning, but did he get so used to doing it he started to do it on instinct?
“I’m surprised that you’re talking to me even right now.” You smiled gently. “I was thinking about moving back home or to my friend's house for some time till you’re ready to be back together.. well if you even want to.”
“Is that something you want to do?”
“Like I said before. Does it matter what I want? It’s probably the most reasonable thing to do. The healthiest.”
“I don’t know if I can manage that. You know, you leaving, I already lost someone.”
“Don’t compare me leaving for some time to someone’s death. Plus you did just fine ignoring me.”
“Yeah I do.” You giggled.
Your heart stopped. Did he really mean that?
“As bad as it sounds, I’m glad.” You said, giving him a smile.
“Can we- cuddle? Or just even hug? It’s okay if-” he started to wave his hands in front of him.
“Of course.” You said with a smile. “You don’t even know how long I've been waiting for you to ask.”
He looked relieved, like a weight was taken off of his shoulders.
You both got in the bed and hugged. You don’t remember the last time you felt his warmth. You could feel his arms tighten around you. Holding you so tightly like he was afraid of losing you. You knew that the morning would be tough for the both of you.
You woke up with him still holding you. You slowly got out of his arms and picked up a bag.
Aki starched as he woke up. He doesn't remember the last time he slept this well. He looked down and realized you weren’t there. He stood up and frantically started to look around the house. He went back to his room and sat down on his bed.
Then he saw it. A little note on the bed side table. He picked up and began to read it.
I left to spend some time with my family. It will give some time off for both of us which we both need.I will miss you. Believe me when I say it was hard to leave you especially when you hold me so tightly.In a week I will be back, I promise.
annaxmalina
2087
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
discoholicmusic
