Even Though the Stars are Blind - Pt. 1
Description: You lucked out and landed a cushy job as an office assistant- a feat in this economy. But what you thought would be an easy, air-conditioned task turns out to be the opposite. Your boss, Aki, has his strict sights set on you for one reason or another. It’s up to you to settle into this odd group and try not to go insane.
Content: slow-ish burn office romance, employer x employee dynamic, Aki Hayakawa x reader, fluff, dom Aki, crack chainsaw man AU in which Aki finds his new office assistant hopelessly adorable
WC: 3860, ~20 minutes
A/N: I honestly don’t know what this is I was just having fun. SORRY. It’s unedited, I haven't watched CSM in a long time so chars are OOC (I HC Aki as mid 20's), I flip-flop between tenses, I- w-wait why are you pushing me off stage? Hang on!-
Part 1: Be the devil and angel too
This wasn't how this was supposed to go.
"You're fired." The Captain looked at you with finality.
You felt your knees grow wobbly. Huh?! After all you went through, he was just going to fire you immediately?
“Come on, don’t be such a hardass,” the blonde boy with sharp teeth complained.
“I like her scent, you can’t take her away!” protested the devil - in literal terms, although you would also describe her metaphorically as a devil as well. It was easy for the both of them to hurl their objections at the Captain - who was still stoically looking at you despite the torrent in the room - they weren’t the ones being humiliated right now.
“Shut up, both of you,” Captain Hayakawa finally relented his gaze from you as he rubbed his brow with a hand. “Please just shut up.”
“No, man!” Denji stepped forward, slamming a fist on the nice, mahogany desk. It startled the stern man, causing him to send a glare up at the boy. “You-” “You’ve got way too much shit on your plate and it’s making you even more uptight than usual. We all feel it,” Denji cast an accusing index finger inches from his face. The Captain’s blue eyes narrowed into steel, but he didn’t interrupt.
“It’s like… it’s like…” Denji wilted as he started to struggle for words, but Power quickly dipped in: “It is like you are an abusive Captain!” Denji lit up into a sharp smile, “Yeah, you’re abusing us!”
“Please, don’t say that. If someone hears you-” Captain Hayakawa exhaled with exasperation. “Exactly, I’ll complain to someone that you’re abusing us!” Denji shouted.
“We shall tell Makima!” said Power. Captain Hayakawa didn’t respond. He stared blankly between the two, watching them spiral as they bounced their bright ideas off each other.
Which left you, frozen in the middle of the tiny office, running through all the things you’ve done in your life to leave you deserving of this fate. This morning had started off normal enough, but you don’t know how things crescendoed into this dumpster fire.
In fact, it was better than normal because you got a call back from an office job you applied to.
*harp sounds*
“Hello?” You hadn’t recognized the number, but for the last two weeks you’ve been applying tirelessly to job listings. Maybe your luck was turning around?
“Heyy,” drawled an adolescent voice on the other end of the line. Your heart sank. Must’ve been a prank call. “Are you that lady who applied to the listing for uh, what did we say on the thing,” the voice shrank away, then you heard another faint voice, “Servant! The position is servant!”
“No, stupid, I deleted that!”
“What?!”
“No one would’ve applied to that. Ugh, here it is,” the boyish voice became clearer again. “The office assistant?”
You somewhat perked up at that. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you still wanted it, but considering the political and economic state of the world right now, you found yourself saying, “Yes, I am!”
“Greeaaat, and you’re cool working in Public Safety?”
“Oh,” your shoulders sagged. Nothing against those guys, of course. Someone needed to keep the regular folk safe, but were you that kind of person? “I didn’t realize this position was for Public Safety,” you absentmindedly scratched your arm, “I don’t think I’m really cut out for that sort of thing…”
“Wait wait, it’s not like you’ll be killing devils or anything! Look, we just need someone who stays in the office and, like, answers phones and shit. That’s what office assistants do, right? Just someone to take the load off the paperwork around here,” the voice pleaded. You bit your lip. That sounds safe enough, but… “We really need someone. We’ll pay whatever you want.”
*cha-ching sounds*
$28 an hour is what got you out of bed this morning, throwing on a pencil skirt and white blouse combo and rushing out the door for an impromptu afternoon shift. Just answering the phone and doing paperwork? That sounded better than anything you could hope to find from doomscrolling Indeed.
Standing in front of the short, boxy building was a completely different feeling.
When you had entered, it felt like you were transported to another world. The heavy hum of the yolky fluorescent bulbs was already grating your ears the moment you stepped in. And the harsh yellow of the overhead lights didn’t help the ugly shade of green the carpeted floors were. The overall atmosphere of the place was enough to make your lungs seize with sudden anxiety. This was some sort of office hell straight out of a millenial’s nightmare. But you’re Gen Z, you never thought you’d be subjected to this prison.
At least it’s for $28 an hour? That was better than your last job...
The cute black pumps you had picked out this morning were in stark contrast against the chartreuse carpet. They tip-toed across some stains here and there, wandering aimlessly around the first floor. For all you could see, it was just mismatching patterns on grossly colored walls that sectioned off randomly. Or maybe everything was actually a pure white and horribly discolored by the terrible lighting!
You were this close to running out the way you came when-
“Hey lady!”
The somewhat familiar boyish voice had you turning back around, and hesitantly looking over your shoulder. You had spent the rest of the morning getting ready to look presentable, somewhat to celebrate the accomplishment of finally landing a job; now you just looked sad and doe-eyed, standing in the middle of this…
“What is this place?” You quivered.
A blonde boy had fully rounded the corner now. He stopped ten feet away from you, stuffing one hand in his pocket while the other scratched the back of his neck - he looked a little bashful.
“You’re that lady from the call this morning, right?” He keeps saying *that lady* - did he even read your resume??
“You know, my name is-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know your name. Hey, you weren’t about to leave, were you?”
“I mean…” You glanced around vaguely, “Would you blame me?” The teenager followed your gaze and scratched the back of his head again.
“Yeah, this place kind of blows. This is where they keep the liminal devil.” He stated casually.
“The what?”
“Ohh, that’s right. You’re new to Public Safety,” he nodded to himself as if just now remembering any part of your earlier conversation. You were starting to weigh the options of staying put or making a break for the door. “When the boss made top-knot captain we got dumped in the building where they keep a few different devils,” then he nodded again, like what he said made sense. You must’ve made a questioning face… or maybe a horrified one, so he scrambled to continue. “But it’s totally safe. S’just what happens when some funds are cut and… am I making it sound better?”
You swallowed. “Uh, not really.” For a moment, you avoided eye contact. Clearly, this place was bad news. You really needed a job, but was it worth risking your wellbeing to work in - ironically - Public Safety? Even the “office” part of this job didn’t seem secure. Again, you thought about turning back around toward the door.
“Moron!” a new voice bellowed. Your eyes shot up to land on another teenager, maybe a bit older than the blonde. Her palish yellow hair swished as she stomped into the scene with, notably, two red horns sat on the top of her head. You knew very little about Public Safety, but even as a civilian you could guess she was some type of devil. “Denji-” She immediately slapped the back of Denji’s head and he recoiled in pain.
“What did I do?!” he whined. The girl ignored him, setting yellow eyes dotted with red plus signs on you.
“Lady, you are the Captain’s new servant are you not?” She barked at you, making you take a frightened step back.
“S-servant? I don’t want to be a servant-” you squeaked, but the girl pursued you. In a flash, she was at your side, inspecting you from different angles.
“Yes, you will make a good servant indeed! The Captain will enjoy you… you are like a trembling little toy,” then she sniffed your hair, making your back stiffen.
“Who’s the moron, now?” Denji snarled, elbowing the devil horned girl out of the way. This was all too much and too weird for you. It must've been the universe warning you not to stoop to the level of taking a 9-5 office job.
As the pair began to bicker, you took the opportunity to spin around and dash to the entrance that you entered from. Only there was no entrance to dash to, just another ugly wall with a wonky faded pattern. Your stomach bottomed out, eyes scanning in a frenzy. Maybe you just got turned around? Doors don’t just disappear, right??
“Can one of you point me to the, uh, exit…” you muttered, almost to yourself as your head swung back and forth, looking for something somewhat familiar. The search turned up empty, just more and more hideous office carpet and walls.
“Oh, it does that sometimes,” Denji paused their arguing to breezily say. You whipped around to stare at him with concern furrowed in your brows.
“What do you mean it does that sometimes?? It’s a door!” You cried. The floor started to feel like water as you turned back around, trying to make sense of this disastrous dilemma.
“Don’t freak out! It’s, uh, totally normal! Are you freaking out?” Denji yammered up to you, failing to calm you down. Next to join was the devil horned girl, Power from what you gleaned over their bickering. She sniffed you again, making you jump with a yelp.
“You smell nectarous!” She cawed loudly into your ear, and at this point you weren’t sure if they were intentionally trying to drive you crazy or not.
“WHERE’S THE DOOR??” You spun around aimlessly, ignoring the teenagers and looking for a way out. A pair of strong hands surprised you by clapping on your shoulders, forcing you to look at a worried Denji.
“Please stop freaking out,” he peeped with uncertainty. “It really is safe… ish - there’s rules an’ if ya stick to them you’ll be fine. Our division doesn’t really have a lot of funds - and this captured devil takes the form of an office building so, ya know, we’re balling on a budget here.” You calmed down slightly, if only because the kid was trying his best to help.
“This dump rotates in sections around the center of the building-” he said, then tightened his grip on you. “Are you gonna be chill?”
“Yes,” you huffed slightly.
He slowly released you and took a step back. Then, he cast a narrowed glance at Power who had been impatiently tapping her foot. “And you, be chill too. Stop sniffing her like a dog.”
“That is not what I was doing. Whiff her for yourself!” She pushed off a dull wall. The constant buzzing that had droned on in the background came around to the front of your senses again, bringing on a slight headache.
“I’m not whiffing her-”
“Do you two mind if we go somewhere less…” you interrupted with a vague hand wave, “like this?”
“Yeah, as I was saying the center of the building,” Denji sassed, “that’s the main office we work out of. It’s totally normal there.”
“I’m not sure I trust your use of the word normal,” you mumbled.
“It is! You’ll get your own desk an’ everything!”
A grumbling noise sounded in the back of your throat. But the kid was looking at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes - at least, he was trying to. He more so just made a slight grimacing face, his sharp teeth making it seem more pained than cute. “Please-we-really-need-youuu,” he added hastily.
“It’s for sure safe?” Your question was met with a jerky nod. “A hundred percent!”
*transition sounds*
To your surprise, the seemingly infinite yellow carpet and wallpaper did have an end. Denji fumbled in his pocket for a moment before pulling out something that looked like a compass, using it to lead you to a hallway with a door at the end. The still yolky lights flickered as you reluctantly inched down the hall, approaching the off-white door. Denji pocketed the small object and busted the door open with his foot, then waved a hand as if to guide you forward. You peeked past the frame, and all you saw was a staircase spiraling downward into darkness. Another suspicious look formed in your eyes as you glanced over at him.
“Totally safe.”
The descent into the shadows wasn’t so bad, it didn’t even take that long until your heels hit the polished concrete floor. Only then could you see the outline of a door being illuminated with a soft light from within. You could hear Denji and Power shuffling behind you, seemingly growing impatient.
“Come on, hasten! I want to see his reaction!” Power whisper-yelled, diving in for another sniff.
“Wh-what is with you and smelling me?!?” You whisper-yelled back.
“You smell utterly divine, how do you procure such an aroma?” She grumbled and continued to push you forward until you hit the door. Power reached out from behind you and grabbed the door knob, twisted and sent the three of you hurtling through the entrance.
You stumbled forward onto carpet. Normal, gray carpet, to your relief. And the horrible yellow glow was gone, replaced with softer office lighting. Instead of overhead boxes of artificial sun, the small office space had fairy lights lining the walls, and a few dim lamps set up in the corners. There wasn’t much else to the place. There was a little desk positioned near the entry - you assumed that would be yours by the unoccupied look of it - and across from it was a boxy room lined with windows, blinds drawn. In between was an open space with a few cushy chairs, and against the back wall was a copy machine and some filing cabinets.
But your favorite part was that it smelled noticeably better.
“See? Normal and totally safe.” Denji sauntered in from behind you, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Your hair... it smells like a hundred loaves of the softest bread,” Power exclaimed. Under the newly improved lighting, you noticed her hair was more of a light pink.
“Will you quit that? You’re starting to weird me out,” Denji grumbled and strolled in further. He stopped in the middle of the room, facing you.
“Alright, your job is pretty simple. All you gotta do is, uh,” he waved his hands around, “assistant stuff.”
“Right, simple,” you sighed. It was becoming obvious to you that the person who “hired” you was just some kid who didn’t really know what he was doing. So, maybe you shouldn’t have ignored all the warning signs leading up to this, but you really wanted to hold onto hope that the hourly pay was at least true. “Who exactly am I assisting?”
“That’s the thing,” Denji laughed awkwardly, “our captain is kind of a hardass.”
“Recently, more so,” Power grumbled.
“He takes a while to warm up to anyone new, so try not to take anything personal.”
That wasn’t very comforting. “And you’re sure I’m getting paid twenty-eight dollars an hour?” You raised an eyebrow.
Denji’s face suddenly turned sheepish. “Is that what I said?” You started to turn around when he scrambled toward you. “Yes! You are, I promise! Please, just stay.”
You were still half way turned when the door to the windowed room swung open. Out stepped a tall man, dressed in a suit, his dark blue hair tied up into a spiky ponytail. His face was handsome, chiseled and lined with serious but youthful features; maybe that was what knocked the wind out of you. Or maybe it was the callous squint of his glare towards Denji and the devil next to him.
“What the hell are you two doing back?” He paused in the doorway and spoke with a dangerously low voice. To your surprise, he didn’t even look at you, yet.
“We told ya we were bringing somethin' back to the office,” Denji shrugged.
“Yes, we brought you a servant to satisfy your every need!” Power presented you with a shove. You stumbled forward, catching your bag from slipping off your shoulder. Now, he looked at you. His lips were pulled into a thin line of disdain as he stared you down with cold, disinterested blue eyes. This was, no doubt, the Captain you were meant to assist.
“H-hi there,” you quivered, trying to hold out a slightly trembling hand. He paid no further attention to it, or you, as he glanced at Denji.
“How many times do I have to tell you, I do not want an assistant?” the man grit his teeth. With that, he turned and walked back into the private room. Denji called out to him and followed. Power trailed behind not wanting to miss out, so you shuffled after them awkwardly.
When you stepped into the office, the first thing you noticed was how organized it was. It was just like the space outside, clean and softly lit. Bookshelves lined the back wall, a cozy daybed sat along one of the windowed walls, and a few lamps illuminated the room in a soft glow. The Captain stepped behind a dark brown, glossy desk in the center of the room, and sat down in a black leather chair. He folded his hands and looked back up at the two teenagers in front of him.
“Dude, you need an assistant, though,” Denji fussed.
“I second that. We will not be your servants anymore!” Power proclaimed.
“You both seem to forget who’s in charge around here,” the Captain warned, glare shifting between them. “Me. And I don’t want an assistant.”
“See! You said want, but you need one!” Denji aha’d, but the victory fell flat to the silent room.
The Captain spared you a look. The set of his firm gaze made your back straighten up and you racked your mind for something to say. But what could you say, in such a ridiculous situation?
“If it helps,” you cautiously reached into your messenger bag and slipped a crisp sheet onto his desk, then scurried back. “Here’s my resume. I’ve worked as a receptionist before and-”
“This line of work is hardly familiar to someone like you,” the Captain cut you off bluntly. “I understand this idiot put you under the assumption of employment, but that won’t be the case.” He slid your resume off the side of his desk into a trashcan. You swallowed, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable lump forming in your throat.
“What?! No, we hired her for you!” groaned Denji
“You can’t hire someone for me, that’s not how this works. Besides, she’s a civilian. Look at her,” everyone in the room seemed to glance you over, including yourself. Well… you thought you looked nice today.
“It’s not safe.”
“It is, if she just stays in the office! Come on, Hayakawa,” Denji pursued, earning an eye roll from the Captain.
“Captain Hayakawa,” the man corrected. He shot one glance at you before fixing his glare on Denji again. “Stop arguing with me, you’re giving me a headache.”
“Nuh-uh man, I hired her!” insisted Denji. Captain Hayakawa sighed deeply, holding his stare on the boy for only a few more seconds.
“Then, in that case…” he started, “You’re fired.”
The Captain looked at you with finality.
“Come on, don’t be such a hardass,” Denji complained.
“I like her scent, you can’t take her away!” protested Power and their squabbling exploded again. Meanwhile, you fought the urge to faint right there.
“Shut up, both of you,” Captain Hayakawa relented his gaze from you as he rubbed his brow with a hand. “Please just shut up.”
“No, man!” Denji stepped forward, slamming a fist on the mahogany desk. It startled the stern man, causing him to send a glare up at the boy. “You-” “You’ve got way too much shit on your plate and it’s making you even more uptight than usual. We all feel it,” Denji cast an accusing index finger inches from his face.
“It’s like… it’s like…” Denji wilted as he started to struggle for words, but Power quickly dipped in: “It is like you are an abusive Captain!” Denji lit up into a sharp smile, “Yeah, you’re abusing us!”
“Please, don’t say that. If someone hears you-” Captain Hayakawa exhaled with exasperation. “Exactly, I’ll complain to someone that you’re abusing us!” Denji shouted.
“We shall tell Makima!” said Power. Captain Hayakawa didn’t respond.
That's how you got here, glued to your spot as you watched on. This was the worst day you’ve experienced in - you didn’t know how long. But your eyes flickered between the two rambunctious teenagers and the man who undoubtedly had a worn air about him. Then around the organized room again. It was… sort of nice here, despite the absurdity, although you weren't sure what specifically. And you really wanted that pay…
“Neither of you will do any of those things,” Captain Hayakawa’s voice raised slightly, silencing the duo. He took a breath and his voice leveled again. “Do you really feel that things have been so bad around here that-”
“One hundo,” Denji confidently cut in and Power grunted in affirmation. The Captain looked between them again, then briefly glanced at you.
“It’s not safe for someone like her.”
“She will be your loyal servant, bound to the office!” Power asserted.
“Yeah, you just need someone to handle the office work. You can’t juggle everything,” Denji muttered and kicked the carpet.
Captain Hayakawa was silent for several seconds. “Well, I doubt she would even want this job after everything she’s just witnessed from you imbeciles."
“Actually, I would,” you spoke up. The three turned to you, each with a look ranging from surprise to elation. You even surprised yourself.
“Yes! Captain, you must whiff her, she smells amazing!” Power immediately jumped toward the man, who was still looking at you with a slightly skeptical eye.
“I think I’m alright.”
“Are you for real?” Denji bounced around to face you with pumped fists. “You wanna work in this dump?”
“I really need a job, to be honest,” you chuckled a little.
“Well ya’ve got one, lady! Right, Aki?” Denji turned around energetically.
The Captain blinked a few times before processing Denji’s question, then slowly stood up while smoothing the front of his suit jacket. “Well, I suppose… Yes, if you’re competent enough to answer phones and help with the paperwork.”
Something twisted a little inside your gut. You weren’t sure if it was excitement or nervousness, or a heady mixture of both emotions. Maybe this disastrous beginning wasn’t a foreboding sign of things to come. At least you hoped, as you set your things down at your new desk, it wouldn’t be.
