[paradiiddle]

seven years pt. 2: unspoken [ex-boyfriend!noah]

Regretting how his best man’s speech ended, Noah suffers the consequences at the hands of his friends and his overthinking lovesick brain.

Ex-Boyfriend!Noah x F!reader

Content warning: none, just stupid and hopeless Noah

Word count: 3.6k

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: Nothing much happens here, just Noah's POV before their big reunion. ✌🏼 Can I also say– thank you to everyone who interacted with the first part! I hope this one doesn't disappoint (if it did, just pretend you did not read it XD). Things will finally happen in the next part, so pray for me.

Disclaimer: This story has the same premise as @mid-omens' Blister (love this fic, go check it out if you haven't). Any similarities or resemblances you might find in the scenes, character portrayals, etc. are purely coincidental.

'is this the end or is it another night i'm broken?' / Unspoken - Sleep On It

Even Noah himself could not believe it. 

He swore he had rehearsed his speech countless times before the wedding day– even going an extra mile when Nick one day delivered the news to him that you were indeed coming. 

An hour ago, he had been in the holding room, doing his pre-show breathing exercises like he was about to headline a sold-out Madison Square Garden. 

Noah had tried to compose himself so his nerves would not get the best of him before he stood with his Notes app in front of Nick and Nadine’s 200 guests. And when he finally did, he had tried to focus like a horse with blinders, not allowing your presence to distract him and make him go off-script.

But the poor guy had been trying too hard, failing to anticipate that his metaphorical horse blinders would direct his focus to no one— no one but you.

You in that dress, sitting with the guys like the old times, looking so calm and composed as if unbothered by the imposing frame of your former lover in your line of sight. Noah would’ve believed it if not for your slightly pursed lips and the absentminded fiddling of your fingers with the stem of your wine glass.

After all this time, your ex-boyfriend could still easily read you as if you still both lived on the same roof– as if he had spent the past two years memorizing your body language like it was part of his tour setlist. 

It was also that same recognition that had made Noah break out in a cold sweat, his thoughts going haywire.

You had been sitting there, clearly uncomfortable. And he hated every second of it.

And yet, he had still let his mouth run wild like an unsupervised kid in a furniture shop.

He had so many things to apologize for, anyway; what’s another one, right? 

So, here he was, muttering curses on his way back to the reception hall after excusing himself to the men’s room, hoping to save the last bit of dignity he had left for ending his best man's speech the worst way possible. 

‘I wish I still had for myself.’

Those words might sound ordinary to people who did not know a thing about him and his relationship history, but to the two tables of heavily tattooed men in suits and ties whom he unfortunately called his friends, it was the plot twist of the night no one had seen coming. 

While he had instantly felt a knot in his stomach as each word tumbled out of his lips, the guys in their seats had looked like characters in a sitcom, wincing simultaneously for him as if they were watching a WWE match. 

Noah swore he had never experienced regret in 4K resolution before. 

“Fucking idiot,” he scoffed, willing himself not to cringe anymore and just leave the castigating job to his beloved friends. He walked towards them on autopilot mode, his jaw ticked, and eyebrows scrunched while his fingers tugged on the shirt collar that had been annoyingly clinging to his neck the whole day. 

“There’s the man of the hour!”

Approaching the two adjacent round tables where his friends sat, Noah’s broad shoulders immediately stiffened as if bracing himself for impact when Jesse perked up, making the others turn their heads his way upon the older guy’s acknowledgment. 

And as expected, everyone, except for some of the guys’ dates, was throwing him an identical shit-eating grin that he was only used to seeing on the face of his band’s drummer.

He only groaned in response, not even making an effort to plead in a losing fight.

Noah subtly glanced towards your seat, somehow relieved to see you were not back yet. For one, he did not want you to witness the impending suffering he was about to be subjected to at the hands of his ever dearest friends. 

Although a part of him wished you were, since the boys loved you more than him that he was sure none of them would make fun of the situation if you were around.

“Great speech, man.” Jesse greeted him with a toothy smile, mockingly raising his glass of wine in his direction. “You didn’t tell us you were trying to scare your ex away tonight.”

Everyone else in both tables burst out laughing. Folio, Jolly, and even your best friend Natalie snorted louder than usual. 

“Just… shut up, you jerks,” Noah grumbled, feeling warmth creep up his cheeks as he sent Jesse a death glare. Trying to hide his reddening face from the others, he moved towards the next table of hyenas that were softly cackling at his misery. 

Yeah, he deserved that.

“Congrats, man,” Davis piled on, holding back his laugh while wiggling his brows at his friend who slumped down on his designated seat. “Here we were thinking Nick was making her uncomfortable.”

“I was not!” Folio immediately protested. 

“Told ya, we should’ve just bet instead on how soon he can make his ex disappear,” Jolly chimed in on the other side, trying to keep a straight face.

Noah could only roll his eyes and flip his friends off. He had known them almost all his life; he knew there was no stopping these menaces any time soon.

He’d be extremely lucky if this died down in a week.

As his stern gaze swept over his friends who were laughing among themselves, his eyes discreetly moved towards the empty spot next to him, briefly fixating on your glass of water, where a faint stain of your red lipstick decorated its rim. 

Memories of you wiping red stains off his lips made him smile in his seat. It had always happened before– from when he had sipped from your glass or when you had given him a peck on his puckered lips– and you had always used your thumb to remove them, which Noah would playfully bite with his front teeth.

‘Stop biting me, you giant bunny,’ you had scolded him playfully one time, swatting his chest. 

Amused at the new nickname, he had snickered, raising a brow at you.

‘Do you know what bunnies do, babe?’ He had smirked as one of his hands gently squeezed your waist while your eyebrows had scrunched up, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

Noah laughed under his breath with the memory of how your face turned beet red upon the realization of what he was insinuating. He bit his lip, trying to hide his smile as he reminisced about the way he had purposely riled you up at one of his Halloween birthday parties where he put on a pair of bunny ears while mockingly batting his eyelashes at you… And on the same night you had thought of getting back at him by wearing those ears in the middle of sex, pulling them from under your pillow… Noah swore he had never acted so uncharacteristically feral in bed his whole life.

“So, what now? No one won the bet?” Folio’s loud mouth pulled him back to reality. “Since our guy here blew it all off before he even had the chance to talk to her.”

Wheezing in his seat, the younger Nick earned a glare from Noah, while the rest of the guys across tables chitchatted animatedly about the bet Folio and Davis had initiated earlier. It was to see ‘how long Noah Sebastian could stay away from his ex-girlfriend, who’s looking hot and beautiful, as confirmed by the way Noah Sebastian could not stop himself from staring.’

Much to the frontman’s horror, bets ranging from $20 to $50 were placed in favor of the following wedding segments: (1) right at the end of the ceremony, (2) until cocktail hour, (3) by dinner time, and (4) during the couple’s first dance, where three of his friends were sure ‘he’d be asking her to dance with him’.

While Noah could feel his face flush even harder, he also found himself fighting off a tiny smirk forming on his lips. 

Because if they only knew, no one would win that stupid bet if only Noah Sebastian were brave enough to make a move.

Because unbeknownst to the rest of the guys, he had been wanting to approach you even before the ceremony started— when you waltzed into the venue in that elegant backless dress, taking his breath away as if he had time-travelled to 11 years ago when he had frozen in place upon seeing your pretty smile for the very first time at the old coffee shop in Richmond. His hands might have gone cold when he had laid his eyes on you earlier, but he had been itching to stay near when you looked all shy and cute, carefully approaching the guys as if you were not Bad Omens’ number one supporter since 2014. Noah had seen the way you hugged each of them with a smile so wide that it had not only reached your eyes but had also brought back a familiar swarm of butterflies to the tattooed stomach of the 6’3 best man standing just a few feet away. 

And god, were his friends right. 

You looked so beautiful that he could not keep his eyes off you, afraid that someone else might swoop in (again) before he could even muster the courage to utter a simple ‘hi’ your way.

While you had mingled with everyone, Noah had been observing in the corner like a vulture. And he had tried his best not to pounce on a couple of men whom he had seen shamelessly checking you out in that dress that he swore was going to be the death of him any minute from now.

To top it off, his anxiety had spiked right up when Nicholas had mentioned to him how his cousin Tyler was asking about ‘the deal of the pretty girl in blue sitting with the Bad Omens dudes’. Noah had never wanted to act fast in his life and show Tyler and the other guys that you were his deal to begin with. You were and had always been. Notwithstanding the fact that his claims no longer hold any bearing for quite some time now. 

So despite the jitters and his unpreparedness, Noah had made it a mission to talk to you tonight– not to make things weird, but to just chat like the old times, if you would allow him, and see how things would go.

Too bad for him, though, his friends were right, again. He had already pushed you out of his reach even before he could gather the nerve to approach.

“C’mon, that’s enough, you guys. Give my best man a break,” Nicholas interrupted the cacophony between the two tables, squeezing his best friend’s stiff shoulders. Noah let out a sigh of relief, mumbling a quiet ‘thanks’ to the groom who came to his rescue.

But just before Noah could take over the conversation, Nicholas, with a big smirk plastered on his face, continued, “Let’s save him that dignity he wished he still had for himself.”

“Fuck you.” Noah groaned as his friends once again collectively laughed at his misery, wondering if it were too much to ask for the ground below him to open and just swallow him whole.

But maybe… he really did deserve this torture now more than ever. 

With the things he put you through in the last one and a half years of your relationship, Noah was well aware that his friends' mocking was the least kind of punishment they could give him on your behalf.

-

It had been two years since you had packed up and left the life you had both shared for almost a decade– two long years of Noah torturing himself for letting you go, for not trying hard enough to be someone you deserved.

Two long years of him trying to move on.

And Noah believed he had tried. 

The universe was a witness to how he had put himself out there, albeit halfheartedly, but all instances ended with him sabotaging his own ass.

Three months since you broke up, he had kissed another girl he met on a random night out that Michael dragged him to. Noah could say they had hit it off pretty well. She was confident, she looked and smelled good, so he had not hesitated to reciprocate when she tiptoed and pulled his face down towards hers. But as the woman he barely knew pressed her hands against his chest while they lip-locked, Noah felt his stomach churn, finding himself longing for the feeling of your nails softly raking on his pecs, for the way it would always make his spine tingle, and for the way it had always provided him warmth and comfort every time you touched.

Seven months since he had last seen your face, he had accidentally flirted with a barista in the newly opened coffee shop near their recording studio (deja vu, right?). Noah had not realized it until the girl sat with him during her break one afternoon. She had been leaning too close for his liking as they sat by the window with their shoulders bumping occasionally. Despite this, he had found himself bantering naturally with her that he had started to get comfortable with her presence. But when she asked him to dinner on a random Friday, even Noah was equally surprised by the answer that came out of his mouth.

‘I’m sorry, but I have a girlfriend.’

Finally, almost a year since he had started self-sabotaging, Noah had gone on a blind date that Jolly arranged. It was with a friend of Jolly’s friend who had just moved to LA at that time. She was pretty, Noah had thought. She was taller than you (yes, he had to compare) and had dirty blonde hair styled in a clean, tight bun. And he couldn’t help but notice how her eyes had sparkled when she started talking about her hobbies, especially when Noah’s smile reached his eyes when they both found out their similar penchant for video games and anime. At that moment, the thought of taking her out again had crossed (and stayed in) his mind. And he was 100% certain he would when he asked for her number as he walked her to her car. He had even given her a peck on the cheek before they had parted ways. 

But at that time, the universe had other plans. 

As soon as Noah crossed the street to get to his car, he was stopped in his tracks by a familiar frame standing all alone on the brick sidewalk. Too familiar that his heart had started to pound achingly against his ribcage.

He had to squeeze his eyes shut and take a deep breath to make sure he was not hallucinating– that it really was you in the flesh standing on the same block as him after a year of just stalking your Instagram profile. You were casually leaning against a pillar right by the entrance of an Italian restaurant– the same place you used to frequent because, as you would always say, ‘their focaccia is so good’ that you’d be ‘willing to trade your boyfriend for it any day.’ He remembered snorting in response with a smug face, saying he would ‘never feel threatened by an Italian bread.’

But with the way your eyes had twinkled as you dipped a warm slice in balsamic vinegar and olive oil? Noah would be lying if he said he never had a cold sweat drip down his face each time.

Despite his heart racing, a ghost of a smile had twitched the corners of Noah’s lips. 

You looked good– even better, he had thought. Sans your laptop or iPad, it seemed like you had come straight from a meeting with how you were dressed in your smart casual attire— a crisp ¾ sleeve shirt tucked into a pair of black dress pants– the kind of outfit that always made him call you his ‘corporate girl’. You had been busy scrolling through your phone, not sensing your giant ex standing like an undercover cop just a few strides away. 

And just before his brain could start overthinking, Noah’s feet had decided to move slowly towards you. He wanted to say hi, see how you had been doing, and maybe, just maybe, his delusional self would be bold enough to invite you for a nightcap. 

However, after just a couple of careful steps, a tall dark-haired guy exiting the restaurant called your name, and he had seen how it made you smile instantly when the unknown guy draped an arm around you. 

Noah’s smile had slowly faded as his heart started to fill with dread. He had watched as you and the guy walked the other way, your arm snaking around his waist as you laughed at something he said, all while the guy you’d loved since you were 20 stood frozen on the other end, quietly feeling the heavy blow you had left on his chest. 

Unlike him, you had actually moved on. 

And he had no idea what to do with that information.

Driving on autopilot with his jaw clenched, he had made his way home with that scene on replay in his mind. Seeing you with another guy, smiling wide as if some stupid bastard had not broken your heart a year ago, had taken him five steps back from his effort of moving on. If he had even made any progress at all. 

Jolly had been hopeful when Noah got back from his date, but the pretty lady his friend had the pleasure of knowing over dinner, and the digits he had saved on his phone, had all been completely forgotten. Just when Noah had finally met someone with whom he could play Halo and binge-watch Demon Slayer day and night, he had let the image of you in the arms of another man take over his psyche as he once again wallowed in self-pity.

So instead of getting himself out and trying to meet new people, Noah channeled the two years' worth of heartache, regret, and yearning for what could have been into his cathartic live screams and into new songs– some of which had seen the light of day, most had been buried in messy handwriting on his notebook.

And he had been okay with it. Gradually, his life had become much less chaotic that way. He had tried to move forward on his own, not forcing connections in an attempt to fill the void that you had left.

But still, none of those meant forgetting about you had also become easy. 

How could it be when you had been his whole world for the majority of his adult life? When your smile was the only thing that had kept him going in the midst of all the chaos in the industry? When your simple yet assuring ‘I’m so proud of you’ and ‘I’m always here for you’ were the reason he had not imploded from the different kinds of pressure he had been getting ever since he got his band signed?

If anything, Noah continued to yearn. And he had been hoping that one day, he could get the chance to make things right between you. 

Whatever that entailed. 

-

To Noah’s relief, his friends’ incessant teasing died down eventually. As the wedding festivities continued with a live band, he stayed slumped in his seat, eyes fixed on your stained glass of water.

He wondered if you would be back any time now. 

How would he react to having you sit this close beside him? What would he say to you? Would you even look his way? But what if you had actually gone home? Or worse, what if you’re hanging out with Tyler? What if–

“You know she’s just outside, right?” It was Folio who halted his brain from spiraling. 

“Huh?” Noah cocked his head towards his friend after taking a nervous sip of his whisky.

“Seriously, man?” The younger guy snickered, shaking his head at how Noah was still playing dumb after everything that transpired in this wedding in just an hour. “You do all this sad boy shit, but the moment you get the chance to actually talk to your girl, you still choose to stay put? To stay here? With us? After everything?”

Davis, on his other side, snorted. “Nick’s right. You’ve been moping for two years now. What the fuck are you still sitting here for?” 

Noah just side-eyed him as he slowly exhaled through his nose. 

“This has dragged on for so long, it’s getting sad. What’re you afraid of anyway? It’s not like she’s gonna break up with you again, right?” Davis.

“And you do know she’s as stubborn as you. She’s not coming back to this table as long as your ass is still sitting here,” Folio added. He chuckled under his breath before muttering, “For all we know, she could be booking a ride home at this very moment to escape you.”

“Or, someone else could be asking her right now to come home with them,” Davis said. Noah’s almond eyes automatically turned into slits, glaring at his other friend while Folio giggled.

“Yeah, what’s the name of Nick’s cousin again?” Folio teased, playfully looking around the hall. “I haven’t seen him around for a while now.”

Noah’s jaw ticked, his Adam’s apple bobbing. 

For two years, all he did was sulk and pine for you as if waiting for a miracle– like you would appear on his doorstep and take him back one day with open arms, no questions asked. 

Two long years of regret and the unspoken fear of facing the reality of losing the best thing he’d ever had in his life. 

He knew his friends were right. They had been for a while now.

What was he so afraid of? 

What’s the worst thing that could happen?

“Fuck it.” Noah stood abruptly, chair scraping the carpet as he finally let his heart drag him to where he had always wanted to be.

Do it afraid, as people would say.

What was there to lose anyway when you were no longer his in the first place?

###

Taglist: @takeme1st @flowery-mess @leosunshine @gayfiretruck @concretedecisions

© 2026 paradiiddle | masterlist

[givemesomethingbeautiful]

Show me that you missed me

“Distance means nothing when someone means everything.”

Little something I came up with bc of this post from @flowery-mess <3

Once again we keep it simple - fluffy and smutty reunion after tour with your boyfriend Noah. I hope you enjoy what I came up with! Only proofread once - we die like men here. (◠﹏◠✿)

Everything here is pure fiction based on real people. None of this really happened and it’s just for the sake of entertainment. English is not my first language just so you know.

***NSFW below the cut, 18+, minors DNI, Noah x fem reader, established relationship, unprotected p in v, not many warnings bc they’re just cuties in love tbh***

———

65 days…it’s been 65 days since the last time you‘ve seen your boyfriend before he left for tour.

As you stood at the gate of the airport, you could feel the excitement bubbling in every corner of your body.

10:35 am…he must‘ve landed about five minutes ago. Nervously, you checked your watch for the twentieth time again as the first people started to emerge from the gate. You couldn‘t help but fiddle with the sign you held in your hand, which read: „Welcome Home <3“

Just as you looked up again, you spotted him. Noah wore his usual black sweatpants, as well as a dark grey shirt, a beige cap, and his grey hoodie hung around his shoulders. Handsome as always, you thought while you beamed at him, waving your little sign from left to right.

The moment he saw you, his face instantly lit up, and he began jogging towards you.

You held out your arms for him, not prepared for the way he pulled you up and spun you around the second he reached you. You let out a surprised laugh, clinging onto him, his familiar smell already filling your nose, which made tears start to form in the corner of your eyes. After he let you down, he held you closely before he cupped your face with both of his hands. Smiling widely, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Uncaring for the people around you, he took his time, savouring your taste for a long minute before he pulled back and only sighed: „Hi baby.“ before catching you into another hug, mumbling against your hair: „I‘ve missed you so much.“

The lump in your throat made it hard to answer, so you just nodded and clung to him a little longer before you made your way to your car, holding hands.

The drive home was rather quiet. You listened to some soft tunes as you made your way home to your shared house. Noah told you about his flight, what he had for breakfast and ranted about all the people he saw who seemed incapable of washing their hands properly.

———

The moment you reached your driveway, you could feel the air shift next to you, and the second the entrance door was shut behind you, his lips found yours in a demanding urgency. You let out a small moan against his lips as you felt his length already press into your lower belly before his tongue darted out against your lips, asking for entrance. You willingly let him in, the kiss intensifying with every second that passed.

Slowly, he pulled back, dark-hooded eyes now looking at you, leaning down to nibble at your earlobe. He whispered: „Fuck, it’s been so long…come shower with me?“

And he was right. It was way too long because all the toys in the world couldn’t replace the way he made you feel.

So you nodded, feeling the warmth of your flushed cheeks before pulling him down by his neck to thoroughly kiss him again, right before you made your way to the shower. To heat things up, you walked in front of him, dropping your clothing piece by piece, which caused him to cage you in once you reached the bathroom door, the only piece left on you being your soaked panties. Noah was still fully clothed as he cupped one of your breasts, playing with one of your sensitive nipples, and he mused: „That’s a dangerous game you play there, babe.“

You could see a mischievous sparkle in his lust filled eyes, before you boldly palmed the front of his sweatpants, his errection clearly visible already, and teased: „A game you say? Show me how to play then.”

He bucked his hips against your touch, mouth hanging slightly open before he challenged, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip: „Come on, get under the shower, and I‘ll show you just how good I can play.“

With that, you let go of him, got rid of your panties, and turned on the shower to let the warm water wash over you.

Only seconds later, Noah joined you, stepping behind you, pressing the evidence of his arousal against your lower back before he placed both of his hands on your breasts, his mouth leaving open-mouthed kisses along your exposed neck.

„Fuck…I missed you so much. You feel so perfect, it makes me crazy.“ he breathed, barely able to hold himself back.

You arched your back against him, which caused his hard length to slightly rub between your butt cheeks while you caressed his arms that rested over your torso. „Show me then.“ you whispered, „Show me how much you missed me, baby.“

Noah let out a huff of disbelief before one of his hands travelled down between your thighs, which you instantly spread for him. „Gonna make sure you’re ready for me though. Wouldn’t want you to be sore tomorrow.“ he muffled against your right ear before he attacked your neck again, now leaving small bite marks, licking over every part of your skin that he could reach.

Slowly, he started to stroke between your completely soaked folds, a satisfied grin spreading across his face: „So needy for me. You probably wouldn’t even mind when I fuck you until you’re sore and unable to walk, am I right?“

You squirmed beneath him, the build up need from the last weeks becoming unbearable and whimpered: „Please. Baby, I need you inside me.“

He never stopped spreading your arousal around your folds before he turned you around, guiding your back against the shower wall. The sensation of the cold tiles against your back made you gasp in surprise. That’s when he hooked one of your legs around his waist, lining himself up with your entrance and breathed: „I wanna see your pretty eyes when I split you open after such a long time.“

The pure want in you grew impossibly stronger and your breathing got so ragged that your chest heaved up and down.

His other hand that didn’t hold your leg, cupped your face again when he put his forehead to yours, slowly pushing his aching, hard length inside of you. His dark brown eyes were fixed on yours when both of you let out a long moan at the feeling of the delicious stretch that you two missed so badly in the last two months.

Once he bottomed out, he closed his eyes, brows furrowed, and hissed: „Fuck…fuck you’re so tight around me.“

You almost cried now: „Noah…baby, please, I need you to move.“

With that, he started to rock his hips in a deliciously slow but deep rhythm, holding you in place against the wall. You shamelessly moaned as you felt him penetrating you, hitting the sweet spot inside you over and over again that made you see stars only minutes later. Noah now slumped forwards, grabbing your hip with his left and your ass with his right hand to guide you on and off his length, his pace quickening.

Your arms hung around his shoulders and his head was buried in the crook of your neck, while he admitted: „So perfect…can’t believe your mine. You’re everything to me. Everything, you hear me?“

You eagerly nodded, moaning out: „So are you to me, baby. Fuck, Noah, I’m close…“

He answered, lifting his head so he could see your face, his lips now so close to yours that you breathed each other in: „Yeah, I feel you milking me already. Come with me…Ahh…I …fuck, I love you.“

You didn’t have time to answer because your orgasm started to wash over you, making you scream out his name like a maniac, while your nails dragged down his back, leaving long red streaks as evidence.

Noah helped you ride out your orgasm, and only seconds later, his rhythm faltered, his breathing became completely ragged before he released himself inside of you with a few sharp thrusts of his hips—your name falling off of his lips like a prayer.

You don’t know how long you stayed like this, breathing each other in, not daring to let go just yet.

Slowly he settled you down on both of your feet again, carefully pulling out, before he caught you in a heart-wrenching kiss again. Smiling against his lips, you sniggered: „I love you too. But I‘m not sure if I‘m already convinced of how much you missed me.“

Noah answered with a playful bite to your neck before he cooed: „Mhh…don‘t worry. Once we‘re cleaned up, I‘m planning to show you on every surface of this damn house just how much I‘ve missed you.“

———

taglist: @concretejunglefm @r3prise

[flowery-mess]

🤭🤭🤭 thank you so much for your service, I loved it

shower sex was actually what I had in mind with this request, because my realistic self wouldn't jump in bed with him after the travel, so you read my mind🤭

[uchihaxsasooke]

NOBODY TALK TO ME EVER IN MY LIFE

[silent-stories]

[fanginghorror]

once i’ve sunk my teeth in ˖⋆࿐໋

⟡ — a vampire! noah sebastian fanfic .ᐟ

˗ˏˋ part 1 ˊˎ- ╱ chapter warnings : mention of death & blood

( I’ve been obsessed with vampire! noah recently, so of course I decided to write a fanfic about it. I hope you enjoy! I’ll try to update this as much as possible! <3 )

⊹ — ⊹ — ⊹ — ⊹

His eyes were barely open, but the voices around him were a reminder that he was still aware of his surroundings.

Warmth. Noah felt warmth. Raising his right hand to his neck, he finally found the cause. Blood. Blood was dripping down his neck from two small holes. He finally understood the other’s panic.

But it was simply . . . too late. Noah felt his heart take fewer beats than normal. The panic taking ahold of him. His friends continued to talk amongst themselves as the venom in noah’s veins started spreading.

The muscles in his body started tightening, his eyes getting too heavy to keep open. His body too weak to stay upright. With a hard thud, his body fell to the floor. Eyes shut.

Death was a fear noah had, one he’d never admit to anyone. The venom was wasting no time making its way through him. The first thing to stop was his lungs. Not long after that, the venom completely took over his heart. He’d never hear it beat again.

Everyone was in complete shock, he looked — he looked dead. And sure enough, he was.

Nicholas placed two fingers on his carotid artery. Deep breath in.

“He — he has no pulse.”

Deep breath out.

The sheer amount of panic in the room was suffocating. All they could do was look at noah’s lifeless body. Seconds felt like hours.

The venom finally made a complete rotation. The process was complete. His human life was now a distant memory, one he couldn’t quite reach.

His eyes finally opened. The burning in his veins stopped. His eyes? Red. Blood red.

The others were in shock, how was he . . . alive? Nicholas distinctly remembers feeling no pulse on noah.

Noah placed a hand over his heart. Nothing. No heart beating in his chest. A new sensation made itself known as he laid there. Thirst. A thirst that made him feel like he was suffocating. He needed to fix this problem, now. But how?

His jaw tightened suddenly, causing him only mild discomfort. Noah’s tongue grazed over his teeth, feeling a slight difference. His upper canine teeth were both a bit sharper than usual. Poking his tongue on the end of the tooth, feeling just how sharp it had gotten. Dangerously sharp.

“Y—you all need to leave.” Noah finally spoke up, looking up at the others. “It isn’t safe to be around me right now.”

The three of them made eye contact with him, shock covering their faces. They simply couldn’t speak. Processing the fact that he was alive, was quite the pill to swallow.

Noah continued eye contact, wondering why none of them were moving. They all looked like statues. The room was getting tense, too much so. He had to break it.

“If none of you are going to listen to me, can you at least say something?”

A ripple was finally made. Between all the tension and panic that filled the room.

“You, you were dead.”

Nicholas finally found his voice, for only a moment.

Noah wanted to tell him he was wrong or crazy even, but that would mean denying how his body felt. The venom made a lasting impression, something he could feel flowing through his veins at this very moment. That wasn’t a normal ‘human’ thing.

Then, of course there was the very big and obvious clue. His heart was no longer beating. Nothing noah said could deny that simple fact.

He was dead.

Noah needed a moment to grasp that concept. His mind was racing. And that’s when he finally understood, why his friends were frozen in place. How could one wrap their head around this realization. It was simply impossible.

All four of them now frozen in place, each one in a different stage of grief. The room went silent, completely silent.

Nothing anyone could say, would make the situation at hand any better.

Noah now had to come to terms with being dead . . . undead?

“Vampire.”

The other three said in unison, finally putting the pieces together.

“A — vampire? This has to be some kind of joke.”

Noah responded to said accusation. But yet again, he was hit with the fact that it could be . . . true. Him, a vampire? A blood drinking monster? Could he even . . . live this way?

[flowery-mess]

THE BUN IS BACK EVERYTHING IS OKAY

[caffeinatedomens]

Ꙩ

[badomensspecter]

We Fell in Love in October — Best Friends to Lovers — Noah Sebastian x Reader

Pairing: Best friend!Noah Sebastian x Reader

Summary: Noah is your childhood best friend. Every year, for his birthday, you take a walk and reminisce about when you were both kids, vying for each other's attention. Except this year, Noah brings up something you've been desperately trying to forget: your drunken teenage kiss. Maybe it's time to tell him how you really feel.

Word Count: 3,837

Read on AO3

Notes: Happy Birthday Noah! Here's my lil contribution/gift.

Autumn is your favorite time of year for a long laundry list of reasons.

There are plenty of chances to wear cozy sweaters and fuzzy socks, eat comfort food like a whole can of cranberry sauce, and watch whole catalogs of poorly acted slasher B-movies. You can sip on apple cider and try every new pumpkin spice snack—because it’s a delicious flavor, and no one can tell you otherwise.

It also allows you to see your best friend, Noah, more often. His touring schedule lends itself to the late winter and the middle of summer. Things slow down briefly for two or three short months before he’s busy making new music and working through an album cycle. He sees you as much as he can but it’s not always easy.

Except for October. Every year, he makes time for you, whether it be at the beginning of the month or right at the tail end. There are always a few days where you two can just be together. It’s a routine, something you look forward to the moment the weather takes a cold turn, nipping against the tips of your nose and ears.

Another reason that you love autumn so much: Halloween is your favorite holiday, even if it isn’t as widely recognized or loved by people older than twelve. You can dress up, watch gory horror movies, and eat an endless amount of candy. What’s better than that? Plus, something that makes October 31st more special is that it’s Noah’s birthday. He isn’t always excited about getting older, but you love the chance to celebrate him.

That’s why you’re currently walking aimlessly, arms linked together, as the sun barely peeks through the trees. Mosaic leaves that resemble sunset pastels—bright reds, warm yellows, and earthy browns—cover every inch of sidewalk and crunch under your boots. Kids are slowly making their way onto the streets—parents following close behind them—dressed as princesses, superheroes, and video game characters. There’s a sense of nostalgia that mixes with the distinct early evening air—cinnamon and pumpkin joins laughter and celebration.

And it’s all so perfect.

Because it feels like it did all those years ago when the tradition first started. You two always argue over the exact year, but you’re sure it was the night before his sixteenth birthday. You were at your dad’s house, sitting on the couch, and sipping on beers you stole from the fridge. Noah stared out at the living room as he listened to you blabber about some stupid teenage drama. When you close your eyes, you can still see that room perfectly, even though it’s been ten years since you stepped foot in it. Unpaid bills scattered over the top of an old, broken-down coffee table that had both you and Noah’s initials carved into the leg. Ripped up carpet floors decorated in coffee and soda stains. Your dad’s favorite chair with a fuzzy dark green blanket draped on top of it. Huge bookcases on either side of a TV that were stacked full of books, all ones that your mom loved and left behind. That night, Noah sharply turned to face you, announced you two were going on a walk, and forced you out the door.

History was made and has repeated itself. But he’s a rockstar now, playing sold-out shows and getting millions of streams on all his songs. And you’re a nurse, constantly caring for others and putting them first. You like to thank Noah for that career path considering you were always bandaging up scraped knees and cleaning off bloody knuckles. But even then, it was comforting to you. It still is. You like helping people, and being a small part of their journey is a positive way.

When you were a child, wishing for something more than the cards you were dealt, you imagined a life that looked exactly like this. Even as the cruelties of reality came tumbling down, you kept up hope that stability and happiness would find you. And no matter what happened, you pictured Noah right by your side. It took time, sure, but here you are. No longer children with terrible sense of direction and a horrible grip on reality. Even as you both have grown up, moved across the country, and become successful in your own ways, Noah’s still the one constant in your life. You never have to worry that you’ll lose him because you know, deep in the cracks of your bones, that he needs you just the same.

You peek up at Noah and catch as he longingly eyes a group of tweens chasing each other from house to house. A lifetime ago, you’d chase after Noah the very same way. Except you two were in suburban streets of Richmond, Virginia and you’d always have to beg him to slow down his pace so you could catch up. He was always several steps ahead of you then and you guess he really hasn’t changed now.

“Whatcha thinking about?” You ask, nudging him.

Noah hums as you pull him out of his mind, looking down at you. There are tiny lines of concentration etched into his skin that you want to reach up and smooth away. “Just reminiscing.”

You let your eyes trail down from a moment, committing even the smallest details to memory. Tonight’s outfit isn’t his usual casual all black. It’s elevated, mature, and looks like something you would have made fun of him for when he tried to wear it ten years ago. Now, it looks incredible on him. Light brown trousers that hug his hips but widen down his legs, a black collared corduroy shirt with a long black trench coat slung lazily over his shoulders, and a pair of oxford style Doc Martens. His toasted brown hair is parted down the middle and longer strands fall in front of his matching dark chocolate eyes. There’s a hint of stubble around his mouth and dancing across his chin. He looks like he’s channeling his Levi Ackerman and you’re so here for it.

You’re dressed like it’s Halloween—and since it is, you actually fit in for once. Your black dress has thin spaghetti straps, a corset top, and a skirt that flairs out with a few ruffling layers. You’ve paired it with your favorite chunky boots. With Noah’s more sophisticated look, you two don’t blend as much as usual, but anyone who walks by wouldn’t be surprised to see you together regardless. Mostly because Noah’s neck tattoos are peeking out from the collar of his shirt, the colors contrasting against the muted landscape of an autumn night. 

Noah’s always been soft spoken, way more than you—especially on a day like today. Bittersweet and melancholy surround him but it’s a beautiful combination. You nod along in understanding and think of ways to turn the sorrow into something else, something light.

“What was your favorite costume when we were kids?”

“Definitely the year we dressed up as Luke and Leia,” he answers quickly as if he was already thinking about the memory.

“That’s a good one.” Fond chuckles tumble out of upturned lips. “I had everyone at that party convinced we were siblings.”

“And in true Skywalker fashion, it made the moment we kissed really awkward,” Noah murmurs, voice trailing away like it was more of a thought than a statement. Like the wind pulled it from his throat and tossed it away with the leaves.

Your muscles tense the moment his words register in your head. You haven’t thought about that kiss in years—well except for when it wakes you up in the middle of the night, but you don’t count that because it’s never from a conscious effort.  

The Kiss was before your frontal lobes were fully developed and either of you were old enough to legally drink. The setting? A high school Halloween party where Seven Minutes in Heaven was not kind to you. Or maybe it was. You could have ended up in a pantry closet with some sleaze ball trying to take advantage of you. Instead, you and Noah were shoved into it, bodies pressed close together and alcoholic breaths mixing with the smell of snacks. While you spent six out of the seven minutes awkwardly grumbling back at and forth about how stupid the game is, that one minute changed everything. Noah initiated it. You were rambling and he didn’t know how else to calm you down. You weren’t sure if the puke that promptly followed was a product of the kiss or the alcohol. But none of it was ever spoken about again.

And things didn’t really change. At least not on the surface.

You know that it did rewrite your brain chemistry in some ways because even now, there are moments where you feel haunted—mouth tingling from the phantoms of Noah’s lips, body melting from nonexistent warmth. But Noah wasn’t affected the same way. You know that to him, it was a silly one-time thing that came from a vodka covered moment of confidence. And that’s okay. That’s all it was meant to be anyway.

Bringing yourself back to reality, you force out a fake laugh to make sure he doesn’t know that his words made you short circuit. “I forgot that even happened.”

“Me too,” he states. “Until I remembered your fake Leia buns falling off and how we desperately tried to stick them back on before the closet door opened.”

You shiver in terror as the memory continues to unfold in your mind. “Didn’t I just leave them off after that?”

“Yeah,” Noah chuckles. “No one recognized you after that.”

“I was just a bitch in white.”

Noah scoffs. “A bitch in pink maybe. You threw up all over yourself, remember?”

“I remember,” you wince. “Jungle Juice conquered yet another victim.”

“I’d like the record to show that I never drank that shit.”

“You definitely did!” You argue. “That night!”

“You have no proof,” Noah says, puffing out his chest and pointing his chin up with dignity.

You roll your eyes, laughter bubbling over. “Okay, sure.”

Noah chuckles lowly. It’s a warm sound that reminds you of hot chocolate thawing you from the inside out as it slides down your throat. When it fades, you’re left with a pleasant heat radiating off your skin.

“You’re old now,” you murmur, cutting through the short but comfortable silence.

“Thanks,” Noah snorts, his entire body jerking in exaggerated disgust. A smirk tugs at your lips from that reaction alone. It’s been your life goal to annoy him as much as possible so even a small moment of victory is cause for celebration. “I feel it.”

“In what? Your soul?”

“My knees,” he corrects.

You snort and look away, back out into the neighborhood in front of you. You swear you can still feel his gaze on you but don’t dare to find out if you’re just paranoid.

The night is coming to life as the last sliver of sunlight fades away. There are more kids and families by the minute. And the chill in the air reminds you that Los Angeles is nothing like where you grew up, but it is home now— especially with Noah here.

“What’s it like? Being thirty?”

You feel Noah shrug as your arm pulls up with his. You kind of forgot that you’re still tangled together since it feels so natural, like his limbs are just an extension of yours. “The same as twenty-nine.”

“I don’t know,” you drag the words out like a song. “I think this year will be different.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“For starters, you’re on the verge of a new album. And all the things that come along with it.”

“Ah,” he clicks his tongue. “So, this year will be different because I’ll finally get gray hair from all the stress.”

“No,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “You’re going to make new memories, experience new things.”

“What’s new about album releases and touring?”

“Would you quit being cynical and just humor me?” You grumble.

“Sorry,” he breathes, combing his fingers through loose strands of hair. “Continue.”

“I just mean that the start of your thirties is special. Endless opportunities ahead.”

“You’ve always been an optimist,” he murmurs. And it should be an insult, a jab, but between you two? It’s like the lightest of jokes.

You shrug. “Someone around here has to be. And we know it’ll never be you.”

Noah isn’t all doom and gloom. Even after all the shitty, unfair things he has been through, he finds rays of light to shine through the dark. But you are far brighter than him in many ways. And you have no problem reminding him what it looks like to see life through color instead of grayscale.

“I can be optimistic,” Noah argues.

“Sure,” you drag the word out. “When pigs fly.”

Silence stretches between you again, but your walking is interrupted when Noah stops abruptly. You come to a screeching halt, boots scuffing against kicked up rocks.

“Do you ever think things would’ve been different if we acted on it?”

He’s still staring forward, still watching kids run around in costume and be far more carefree than either of you can afford. You know exactly what he’s talking about and exactly what he’s asking. Because you’ve thought about it more times than you’d like to admit.

“What?”

“You know,” he says, turning to face you. “Do you think things would be different if we actually did something after the kiss instead of pretending it didn’t happen?”

Wind relentlessly tugs at his hair, forcing it to curl in on itself and cover his face. He squints and the corners of his eyes are wet. You know it’s from the cold air but nonetheless, your stomach clenches. He runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame it before shoving both into the pockets of his pants. He’s completely relaxed, looking at you like this conversation is no big deal. And you're fidgeting, picking at the skin around your fingers.

“Maybe,” you murmur. He raises an eyebrow as a challenge to continue your thought. “I mean, yeah. I think so.”

“I think we could’ve been a fucking power couple.” His chuckle instantly warms the air around you.

“Really?” You squeak, eyes widening. All this time, and he is just admitting something you’ve never even imagined out into the night air as if it’s nothing. As if endless memories and ideas and what ifs didn’t consume your thoughts for years. He says it like this is any other day, any other thought. He says it like he knows you completely agree. But you can’t just admit that to him. “We were both way too fucked up to be good to each other.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “We could’ve made it work.”

Your eyes narrow as you work to see through his words. “You were seconds from dropping out of high school to start the band and I was dealing with my parent’s divorce. It was a bad combination.”

“Was it though? We’re still here. Still friends.”

Friends. What an incredibly fucked up word. It’s been a shackle around your wrist, a constant reminder that you’ll never be anything more. Noah’s previous girlfriends never even saw you as a threat.

“Where is any of this coming from?” You ask softly.

He shrugs again. Because this is just a casual conversation. “Turning thirty is making me sentimental, honest.”

“Is that really why? Because after all this time…” you shake your head in disbelief.

Noah laughs before pointing his chin up to the sky. A puff of laughter again, this time into the clouds, but there’s a lay of frustration that makes you fidget, shuffling on your feet to get an inch closer to him.

“I’ve been lying to myself for fifteen fucking years,” he announces.

“Noah—”

“Let me finish. Please.”

He drops his chin, eyes reaching into your soul. For a moment, there’s silence. But it’s easily broken by a shriek of high-pitched laughter, a dog bark, shoes against concrete. He takes a breath.

“I liked you before the party, but I kept telling myself that I finally had a good, stable friend and that meant too much to me to give up or change. Yeah, I had Nick, and he helped with things that you couldn’t. Hell, he even said to go for it. I told him to go fuck himself and that he was crazy. But then I kissed you. God, I fucking kissed you and the whole time I thought this is finally happening. I finally get to have a good thing. But when I pulled away, you looked so scared, and I knew—I fucking knew—I had to let go of whatever I was feeling.”

Streetlights cast large, shadowy versions of you both onto the concrete. When you look back up at him again, you can make out a drop of milk in his coffee eyes.

“It never went away,” he whispers, voice cracking. “No matter what I fucking did, I just fell more and more in love with you.”

You’re losing your mind or you’re dreaming or both. You want to rub at your eyes, pinch yourself, do anything that it takes to prove this isn’t actually happening. Noah. Your best friend. Your constant. The boy you’ve had the honor of watching become a man. The one person in the world you are proudest of. He feels the exact same way you do.

For you, it was all at once, not some gradual thing. The day you met him and caught sight of that goofy smile, you were gone, done for, absolutely fucked. You’ve loved him ever since. And it’s been this constant ache in your chest no matter what. Every time you watch him on stage, hear his voice in a song, cuddle up on the couch to finish the newest episode of an anime. It’s a part of you, in your veins, in the rhythm of your heart, in every intake of breath.

“I think it really hit me after our first headlining show when you ran into my arms and I just swung you around with all my extra energy.”

You remember it like it was yesterday and the memory plays over in your mind. Noah’s arms wrapping around your body as his sweat drenched your shirt, his endless happy laughter, the sheer amount of joy radiating off of him. Maybe that’s when you let yourself love him too.   

“I hate you,” you laugh. Noah’s eyes widen as you continue. “I hate you because of how much I fucking love you. I’ve been feeling the same exact way since the day you introduced yourself at school.” 

You didn’t think his eyes could get any bigger but they might just rival the moon right now. All the air rushes out of his lungs and he stumbles on his feet as if he’s been hit. You want to reach out to grab hold and steady him but you stay perfectly still as you let the truth pour out. 

“And, for the record, I was scared when we kissed,” you murmur, voice so small that the wind almost carries it away. “Because I was so drunk but also because I liked you so fucking much and I thought you were going to regret it. Or stop being my friend. And I just didn’t want that to happen. Because I couldn’t lose you then and I certainly can’t now.”

“You’re not going to,” Noah interjects, shaking his head. “Not now. Not ever.”

“I know that,” you nod. “But can you blame me for being scared?”

“No, of course not,” he snorts. “I was never honest with you. How could you have known I felt the same?”

“It’s moments like these where I wish we could read each other’s minds.”

“You and me both,” Noah chuckles. “But at least we aren't Nick.” You can picture how miserable this has been for him. He's always been more of Noah's friend than yours but he’s been in your life just as long and you do care about him. He’s a good friend, someone you go to when you really need to vent. He usually just listens and lets you talk. Which means he has definitely heard you and Noah both go on and on about your crushes.

“Oh God,” you gasp, pressing your fingers to your mouth as you giggle. “That poor guy.” 

“He's had to listen to us pine for each other since we were teenagers.”

“How has he survived?” 

Noah shrugs. “Maybe he’s learned to tune us out.”

“I know for a fact that he doesn’t listen to you,” you snort. “But he loves me.”

“Sure,” Noah scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling so wide that his cheeks puff up. The tip of his nose is pink from the cold. 

This normal banter between you feels right, like nothing has changed. There’s a shift in the air, something electric. You know Noah feels too.

“Hey,” you start, soft and steady. Braver than you feel. “What if we… redo that kiss now?”

His breath catches, eyes flicking to your mouth. “Oh, fuck yes.”

You don’t wait, don’t give yourself time to think. And he doesn’t either. You both step forward, closing the distance. It’s a slow crash like the feeling of free falling, it happens way before it catches up with you. His hand cups your jaw, your fingers twist into his shirt. There’s no crowd, no screaming kids or barking dogs or parents chatting, just him and the thrill that this is real. 

When he finally pulls back, he presses his forehead to yours, smiling so big that he looks like a giant, stupid dork. But it’s perfect. He’s perfect. 

“Best birthday ever,” he whispers. “And I’m not even done celebrating.” 

“I told you thirty was going to be special.”

He huffs, rolling his eyes but the way he laughs means he knows you're right. If this small moment is anything to go by, this year will be much different than previous ones. For both of you. 

His fingers brush your arm as he lets go. “You’re cold,” he murmurs, already shrugging off his jacket. 

“I’m fine,” you lie. The warmth in your chest has been staving off the frigidness of night but now that you’re coming back to reality, it’s unforgiving.

He just gives you that look and settles the jacket over your shoulders anyway—heavy, warm, smelling like cedar and stage fog and whatever cologne he pretends he doesn’t wear. It steals the air from your lungs worse than the chill ever could. 

“Thanks,” you whisper. 

“I can’t let you be cold on my birthday,” he explains, voice rough. “That’d be rude.” 

He steps back, taking in the sight of you drowning in his jacket. And this feels like a glimpse into the rest of your life. While it may not be your birthday, it certainly does feel like you’ve got the best present.

[badomensspecter]

⊹. ݁♡ 𝕭𝖆𝖉 𝕺𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖘 𝕺𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘 ♡. ݁⊹

18+ 𝖒𝖉𝖓𝖎

✟ = smut | ✿ = fluff | ☂︎ = angst

𝖓𝖔𝖆𝖍 𝖘𝖊𝖇𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖆𝖓 x 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

☂︎ do you feel love? — noah sees her again for the first time in four years. everything has changed and yet, it feels like he’s exactly the same as the day she left.

☂︎ i know i don't. — noah sees her again for the first time in four years. everything has changed, and yet, it feels like he’s exactly the same as the day she left, but they both need this conversation more than they know.

☂︎ an unforgiving tide — you haven't been yourself, and Noah notices too late, when a wave pulls you in.

✿ we fell in love in october — noah is your childhood best friend. every year, for his birthday, you take a walk and reminisce about when you were both kids, vying for each other's attention. except this year, noah brings up something you've been desperately trying to forget: your drunken teenage kiss. maybe it's time to tell him how you really feel.

✟ october will cure me — noah is a vampire who becomes obsessed with you. so much so that he visits you at home.

✟ stuffed — its thanksgiving, and a change of plans forces you to stay in la for the holiday. noah makes it up to you by letting you play with your food. literally.

✟ chase forever down (with you around) — being noah's best friend means hiding your big fat crush on him for the sake of the friendship. that is, until the beginning of tour party, where maybe you can just say fuck it.

[paradiiddle]

hair [girldad!noah]

Your daughter adoring her daddy's long hair brings back fond memories.

Dad!Noah x Wife!reader

Content warning: Mention of sex towards the end, but mostly wholesome other than that

Word count: 1.3k

“Daddy, you looked like a princess!”

You snorted at how Callie gushed at the old Bad Omens photos her Uncle Nicholas was showing her. 

Ruffilo came to visit to discuss some band matters with Noah, and as soon as they finished, your daughter was quick to drag her ‘favorite uncle’ to the living room couch so she could show him her new dolls— the latest addition to her collection, much to your anime fan husband’s dismay. 

Noah wished she instead collected anything from any of the shows he forced her to watch with him. But not even the cute Pokemons won over the dolls she now laid out on the table, enthusiastically introducing each one of them to Nicholas with the names she came up with.

Your 4-year-old then animatedly described to her uncle how she loved to braid each one of her dolls’ hair, prompting Ruffilo to shift to a related topic involving adult men with long hair in a then-rising metal band, a few years before she was even conceived.

“Hey, how about Uncle Jolly and me? Didn’t we look like princesses, too?” Ruffilo pouted at your daughter while zooming his phone screen into the rest of the members with ‘majestic mane’ as he called it.

“Yeah, but you and Uncle Joll still have long hair. Daddy doesn’t anymore!” With eyes shining bright, she climbed onto his lap as she’d always do, checking each of the photos like a quality assurance inspector.

“Let me get this straight— your dad gets to be a princess because he cut his hair?” Nicholas chuckled while ruffling the hair of his best friend’s mini-me. 

“Yes, daddy was like Rapunzel!” Callie’s mouth formed an O as she looked from the phone to the man in question, who just appeared from the kitchen doorway with his freshly brewed coffee. “Daddy, did a witch cut your hair to keep you in a castle?”

You could tell Ruffilo was trying his best not to laugh at how your little girl’s imagination was running. “Dude, you never told us you were in a fairytale.”

Noah just playfully rolled his eyes before sitting across from his daughter and best friend. “Yes, baby, and Uncle Folio was the witch.”

“No, he’s not, daddy. He’s the soldier, and Uncle Joll, too!”

“Why do they get to be soldiers?” Noah raised a brow at her before bringing his cup to his smirking lips.

“Because… They’re strong! Uncle Nicky hits big drums and then Uncle Joll...” she paused, thinking of how to describe the Swede. “Uncle Joll… looks grumpy.”

You giggled to yourself. Like her father never looked grumpy.

“How about me, Cal? Who am I?” Ruffilo swiped to the next photo, which you assumed was of his younger self.

“Hmm… You are the prince, Uncle Ruff!” Her eyes were twinkling as she craned her neck towards him. “‘Cos you have beautiful eyes.”

“Aww, thank you, bub,” Nicholas kissed the crown of her head. 

“Hey, isn’t mommy supposed to be the prince if I were the princess?” 

“Nope, mommy is the queen,” Callie dragged the last syllable as she clapped her hands with the new role she had come up with. “‘Cos she always tells you to clean, daddy.”

Now it’s your husband’s turn to snort loudly before putting down his coffee to laugh at your daughter’s remark. Ruffilo joined in as both guys eyed you with full amusement.

Before you could even protest, Noah probed. Probably on your behalf. Or not.

“Does she, really?” 

“Yes, daddy. Every day.”

“Hey, I clean without being told!” He dramatically scoffed at your little girl, to which she giggled. “Besides, princesses shouldn’t clean the house, right?”

“Yeah, but you don’t have princess powers anymore,” she quickly retorted before bringing her full attention back to Ruffilo’s phone. “‘Cos you don’t have long hair. The witch cut it, remember?”

Noah gave you a knowing look and rolled his eyes at both the funny logic and how your daughter’s sass had started to show. 

“Don’t even pretend to be shocked, babe.” You made your way to his relaxed figure on the single-seater couch, fingers softly raking through his hair as if it’s muscle memory. “For one, I know she did not get that from me.”

He threw you a pout in response. “Mean.”

Callie’s squeal brought both of your attention back to her happily perched on Ruffilo’s lap. Dolls long forgotten, your daughter was smiling so wide at the next photos she was seeing on the phone.

“Daddy had cat ears! Your big head looked so funny, daddy.”

“Hey!” 

You laughed at Noah’s offended face as your daughter giggled, her chubby cheeks turning pink from grinning, eyes never leaving Nicholas’ phone screen. 

Of course, those cat ears were iconic. Even after all these years, fan accounts would still find ways to post photos of a younger Noah streaming with those small cat ears on his headphones. 

You even remembered borrowing those exact headphones to join Zoom calls for work during the COVID quarantine. Your workmates always found it cute, then later on, teased you when some of them realized it actually belonged to your rockstar boyfriend.

“Hey, babe,” Noah called, his voice laced with a new wave of amusement. “Do you remember?” 

“Remember what?” You looked down, seeing Noah’s doe eyes staring right back at you, now glinting with mischief. 

“The cat headphones,” he mumbled, as if trying not to be heard by your little human a few feet away from the two of you. 

You scrunched up your eyebrows and stared at him, figuring out what he was implying. 

Noah took a sip of his coffee before quietly laughing at your confused face. “You know, for someone who actually broke those precious headphones, you sure are forgetful.” 

“What? I didn’t…”

Then it hit you. 

The off-cam Zoom call five years ago. You, with those headphones working on his desk. Noah, surprising you from behind with small kisses on your exposed shoulder. He, whispering how you’re turning him on with those cat ears—how he couldn’t wait for your meeting to finish so he could take you to bed with the ears on. You, sending him death glares, trying to be quiet in case you forgot to mute yourself. Both of you ending up fucking in his bed right after you closed your laptop. Noah, insisting the cat ears remained on you as he took you roughly from behind– too rough that it knocked off the headphones, which the two of you ended up rolling into when you changed positions. 

Recalling those moments now had you mortified and amused at the same time. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah, that’s what you said when we heard it crack.”

“Noah!” 

The two of you quietly laughed together at the memory, temporarily tuning out your daughter, who was still enjoying the slideshow of photos courtesy of her Uncle Nicholas. 

“When I grow up, I wan’ be like daddy. I wan’ a hair that long and pretty! Mommy, can I grow my hair like daddy?”

It wasn’t long until you had to compose yourself to answer your little girl. You cleared your throat, “Of course, baby.”

Noah couldn’t help but grin so wide at the thought of his daughter wanting to be like him, of all people. She might not acquire his taste for anime, but her wanting to look like him sent little butterflies to his stomach. 

Not that she needed the same hair to actually look like him. If anything, Callie was his clone, despite the fact that it was you who carried her for 9 long months. 

“Babe,” Noah called your attention once more, but now, his eyes stayed on your daughter yapping. He chuckled softly, “Do you remember what happened a few weeks after we broke the cat headphones?”

Feeling your heart warming, the memories came flooding back: you, vomiting one morning, peeing on a stick while Noah waited outside the bathroom door, the tears from both joy and worry, the first ultrasound, the first time you heard your baby’s heartbeat. 

Your hands found Noah’s shoulders as you leaned down to press a kiss to his temple. 

Sighing in content, you giggled into his ear. “Of course. Worth all the broken headphones.” 

###

© 2025 paradiiddle | masterlist

[paradiiddle]

the debate [girldad!nowah]

Noah Sebastian just loves to annoy his daughter.

Dad!Noah x Wife!reader

Content warning: none but the kid cries

Word count: 1.2k

A/N: It's been a while since I wrote an RPF (2018) and finished a fic in general (2023), albeit a oneshot. Proud of me so here it goes 🎉

“Hey!” Your husband pointed his long finger at the little opposing party in front of him. “I made you.”

Popping a chip into your mouth as you leaned against the kitchen counter, you snorted at the way Noah punctuated each word like he was arguing with an adult.

“Nuh uh, t’was mommy who made me in her tum tum,” your barely 4-year-old daughter Callie retorted, her eyebrows scrunching in frustration, mirroring her daddy’s creased forehead.

For the past 15 minutes, the two of them have been bickering about who’s better between Noah and you, and whom she loved more. You couldn’t hide the smug look on your face when your little girl didn’t hesitate to choose you right away. To which your husband was quick to argue, but not before dramatically clutching his chest to feign hurt.

“Oh yeah? Did you know who put you in mommy’s tummy?” With hands on his hips, Noah’s 6’3” being was towering over his tiny girl version in a ponytail. 

“T’was… it’s…” Scrunching her button nose, Callie looked at you as if phoning a friend for a question she didn’t have an answer to. 

“Mommy, who put me inside you?” She innocently half-whispered, as if trying to hide from her dad that she was using a lifeline. 

You internally cursed Noah, sending daggers towards his now smirking face. You could tell he was trying his best not to laugh.

How the hell did their conversation get to this point?

“Yeah, mommy, why don’t you tell us who put that little yapper inside you?”

“Noah!”

“Daddy ‘m not a yapper!”

Noah snorted at your synchronized reaction before playfully glaring at your kid again. “You don’t even know what that means.”

“I do!”

“You don’t.” 

“I do, daddy!”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do!” Her knuckles curled with every word.

“What does it mean then?” You could see in your peripheral vision that Noah stuck his tongue out to rile her up deliberately.

You swore your rockstar husband’s favorite pastime was to annoy his spawn.

“I-it’s…” She tried searching for an answer, but ended up stomping her feet in frustration. “Momma, daddy is being mean!” 

Noah laughed hard at the aggravated brunette. “How am I being mean?”

“You are!” Callie whined in return. “‘M not gonna cuddle with you anymore.”

“Baby, daddy was just teasing you,” you tried to explain in between giggles. Your daughter’s pink pouty face resembled that of Noah when he’s the one being annoyed.

“Really, wittle Cawie baby won’t look for Daddy’s warm cuddles later?” Noah was making funny faces to tease your offspring, who started to make her way to you.

“I won’t! Cos you’re mean.” She immediately buried her face into your thighs, which made you hold her by instinct.

“Noah,” you quietly hissed at the grinning idiot you call your husband, to which he responded by mouthing ‘What?’

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” you cradled your daughter against your chest as her lower lip started to quiver. And as if right on cue, the dam broke, and your house was quickly filled with the sound of your toddler wailing.

Your eyes turned into slits at Noah, who approached the two of you but was still laughing, albeit quietly. He loved his firstborn, but he was also clearly enjoying this.

You took a minute or so to hush your crying baby, while Noah stole your bowl of chips and tried his best not to burst out laughing once again. 

Perhaps teasing was part of his love language for your daughter. It reminded you of how much he loved to annoy Matt’s nephew before Callie was born. Now he had one of his own, all for himself to torture.

“Hey, baby, stop crying now. Daddy is sorry.” You sing-songed while rocking Callie back and forth and rubbing her back. 

“No,” she whined in between sobs against the soaked neckline of your shirt. “I don’t like mean daddy.”

“Hey, I’m not mean.” He took his turn to rub his daughter’s back as you continued to quiet her down. “Daddy was just playing around, okay?”

Callie squealed when she felt a finger poke her side, forcing her to giggle as she turned her tear-stained face to Noah, a big smile attempting to break out. “Daddy, stop!” 

Your husband grinned at her before opening his long, tattooed arms, inviting his daughter to jump ship. 

You didn’t know whether to be offended that it only took her that to quiet down and forgive her dad.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he kissed her temple as he let her cling to him like a koala. “Will you still cuddle with daddy later?”

Sniffing, Callie nodded as she rested the side of her head against his, her short arms wrapped around his neck.

Three years had passed since you had your little bundle of joy, but sights like this still never failed to make your heart flutter. After everything, who would have thought that you and Noah would be living in a big house in the suburbs with a little chaotic version of the two of you making your days exciting and dramatic at the same time? Having a kid never crossed your mind, even when you started dating the Bad Omens frontman, yet here you were, basking in the joy these little moments afforded.

“Daddy, can we get ice cream?” Callie took you out of your reverie with her cute baby voice matched with puppy-dog eyes that were looking at her father. 

“We have one in the fridge, bug,” you answered before Noah said yes and went overboard with buying her the whole ice cream truck after making her cry. Being a heavy music singer, Noah might look tough on the outside— and sometimes an ass— but he’d always fold and get soft for his daughter at any given time. 

“B-but, I want the green one with pink sprinkles, mommy!” You knew she was referring to mint chip— one of the few things that only she and Noah shared in this household. 

“Yes, mommy, we want the green ice cream with sprinkles!” Your husband threw you a toothy grin before walking towards the living room to get his car keys, his now giggling daughter perched against his hip.

Sighing in defeat, you walked towards them as they prepared to head out.

“Take care, okay?” You reached out to finger-comb your daughter’s matted hair. 

“You’re not coming, mommy?” 

As much as you wanted to, today’s work was taxing enough, so a quiet house all to yourself just for at least 30 minutes sounded very enticing.

“I’ll stay here, baby. You and daddy enjoy your green ice cream, okay?” You playfully bit her chubby arm, which earned you those cute little giggles that you would never get tired of hearing.

“Are you sure, my love?” Now it’s Noah’s turn to reach down and place a kiss against your head. “Want us to bring you something?”

“Nah, I’m good. Just make sure she drinks enough water, please, babe.” 

“Yeah, I got you.” Noah side-hugged you before he started walking out to the garage.

“Drive safely, please, Noah.” You knew he had become a more careful driver ever since Callie was born, but a reminder now and then wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Bye bye, mommy!” You waved and blew a kiss to your smiling daughter as you held the door open for them.

You didn’t follow them all the way to Noah’s car, but as soon as you closed the screen door to the garage, you burst out laughing as you heard Callie circling back to her and Noah’s debate topic earlier.

“Daddy?” She asked as the car door opened. Noah just probably hummed in response.

You could imagine your husband face-palming himself as your daughter dropped the question.

“So who really put me inside mommy’s tummy?”

###

© 2025 paradiiddle | masterlist

[paradiiddle]

birthday sex pt. 2: don’t need candles and cakes [bestfriend!noah]

You finally give your best friend his birthday gift.

Bestfriend!Noah x F!reader

Content warning: smut, there's actual birthday sex

Word count: 2k

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: I apologize for my smut writing in advance. I don't write beautifully, and it's been a while for me. Just wanted to give this story its closure lol

31 Oct 2025 21:35

Making out with your best friend of 12 years in his kitchen on his 30th birthday was one thing. Spreading your legs for him in his bedroom a couple of hours before his day officially came to an end was another.

You and Noah were an idea you once thought far-fetched. More so, it was an idea you never even bothered to entertain.

Now, as he started pumping his thick cock in and out of you, all you could think about was why the fuck did the two of you take so long to get together?

Were you both really that oblivious or stupid or too chicken to admit your attraction for one another?

In your case, you have done so well suppressing your feelings for him for quite some time now. You never wanted it to develop in the first place to preserve your friendship, and you were doing okay until he fucking kissed you earlier today. And when you left him disappointed, all you wanted to do was run after him and kiss him again— to tell him you wanted the same thing. Although it took you almost 24 hours to do that, Noah was beyond glad and relieved to have you admit your feelings for him tonight, finally. 

After letting you deliver your monologue when you barged into his bedroom, your best friend did not waste any more time devouring your lips. And boy did he do it so hungrily— you both did— hence, the two of you ending up naked in his bed. 

You wanted to hear his side and talk more about your feelings and where this would take you, but with the way he dragged his shaft along your walls, you had to push all those thoughts aside temporarily. The way his bulbous tip was hitting your cervix was just making your thoughts incoherent. 

There’s so much more important matter in front— nay, on top— of you at the moment, and you’d rather not dwell on the details anymore. At least not for now.

Focus on the present, you told yourself.

And the present involved you trying your best to control your loud moans as Noah fucked you into the very mattress the two of you used to sleep with no malice. Some of the guys were still lounging in the living room downstairs, and you surely did not want them to hear you and Noah giving in to your urges after years of stewing— after years of their constant teasing. You knew you would not hear the end of it if even just one of the guys were to find out. The bastard Nick Folio, most especially.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Noah grunted as he picked up his pace, capturing your lips into a searing kiss. “So fucking tight.” 

You winced, hearing the bed squeak with each of his thrusts. 

“Fuck, N-Noah,” you tried to whisper in between moans, lightly tapping his bare chest. “W-we have to be quiet. The guys w-will know.”

“So?” He scoffed, his movements not relenting one bit. He pecked your cheek before murmuring, “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this with you. I’ve waited so fucking long.”

“But…”

“I am not holding back, baby.” He slammed hard into you. “They can listen, for all I care.”

You wanted to protest and tell him that you’re not yet ready to reveal whatever you two were to your friends. But the way your tattooed best friend moved his cock in and out of your stretched pussy, the way he dragged his wet lips along the valley of your chest before lewdly sucking your nipples, the way his long fingers played with your puffy clit simultaneously– all of this was again not helping you think straight and was just making you moan wantonly. A little bit too loud for your liking.

Realizing your slip-up, your eyes went wide as you immediately covered your mouth with one hand, while the other found purchase in Noah’s bicep. 

You couldn’t fully blame yourself for being loud, though, since the last time you had been intimate with a guy was over a year ago. It had been that long, and your current partner’s performance certainly did not help. 

Now you know why girls couldn’t stay away from him.

“Fuck, aren’t you just made for me?” Bringing his mouth back to your neck, he peppered your jaw with tiny kisses until his teeth reached your earlobe. “You’re squeezing me so tight, babe.”

“Noah–ah!” You cried into his shoulder as he plunged even deeper into you, his arms pushing your thighs up to your chest to allow him more access. 

The new position you were in made your pussy throb even harder; his tip reaching places you never thought possible. 

“That’s right, baby, don’t hold back. Do you feel that? That is all for you; I’ve always wanted it to be only you… I’m gonna make sure you’re not gonna want anyone else after we’re done.”

“Noah, I-I’m close…”

“Oh yeah? Let go for me, fucking milk my cock, my love.”

All this dirty talk from your best friend surely sent you to the edge, and before you knew it, you were trying to squeeze your thighs shut and squealing like a little slut against Noah’s inked skin.

His big hands, though, kept your thighs open for him to continue assaulting your clenching pussy.

“Shit, f-fuck Noah…”

“Yeah, baby, I got you,” he whispered against your cheek, smirking at your euphoric state. As you came down from your high, Noah decided to pull out, making you wince from the sensitivity.

Propping yourself on your elbows, you wondered about his own release. “Are you done-“

You did not get to finish your question as your 6’3 best friend manhandled you on your stomach.

“Ass up.” He lightly tapped your butt as you got yourself comfortable against his pillows. You were quick to follow orders and lifted your ass towards his kneeling figure. 

Noah snickered at how you instantly spread your legs open for him without even being told. The way your folds glistened and your sticky juices coated your inner thighs could make him come in that instant. 

But if there was something he mastered after all these years of pining for you, it was patience and self-control.

So instead of plunging his dick back into your slick walls, he made you gasp loudly when his tongue licked a stripe along your wet and still sensitive folds. Each of his hands kept your ass cheeks open as his mouth placed kisses on your puffy lips before he dipped the tip of his tongue into your throbbing hole.

“Noah… fuck mmm…”

If there’s one thing you were thankful for in this position, it’s the way you could bury your face into the pillow to conceal your moans. And it really helped, especially when his fingers once again found your clit to flick and play with. 

“Fuck, baby, you taste you fucking good,” he murmured against your core, his tongue running from your clit to your hole where he then inserted his two long fingers, which your walls immediately clenched around. “And so needy, I see.”

You could only moan uncontrollably against his now damp pillow when he pistoned his digits in and out of you while his mouth made out with your folds. 

“You’re so wet. Ready for my cock again, babe?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you nodded at your best friend, who was back to his kneeling position behind you, his calloused palms caressing your buttcheeks as if it was his first time. His cock remained rock hard against his abdomen, which was now covered by a sheen of sweat along with his forehead. 

You couldn’t help but whimper as you bit your lip at the anticipation of being impaled anew by his thick shaft. That did not go unnoticed by Noah, making him push inside you slowly, albeit extra hard, in an instant— making sure you felt every inch of him from base to tip.

It did not take long for him to start thrusting inside you like a maniac, hands grabbing your hips to pull you up to him every time he pushed.

And it almost sent you to the edge once more; the obscenity filling the room with the sound of his bed squeaking, your damp skin slapping, Noah’s pubic hairs tickling your butt, your pussy squelching with his cock’s movements, and the guttural moans he never dared conceal. You lay there whimpering, defeated— for sure, everyone outside his bedroom already knew the two of you were having sex.

But looking back, your friends were already giving you knowing looks when you arrived at the house earlier, searching for Noah. Folio had his usual shit-eating grin as he told you the birthday boy only left his room today to grab some food and was surely waiting for you to ‘make up’ for last night. Michael was wiggling his brows at you when he asked you if you finally came bearing Noah’s ‘birthday gift’. The rest were smirking at you when you finally took the stairs to your best friend’s room. 

Hence, the idea of the two of you getting together should not come as a shock anymore. But still, you just knew that their initial reaction would be mortifying. 

But then again, Noah’s sweaty torso hovering over your equally sweaty back reminded you that what your friends thought of the two of you should really not matter. And it’s not like the boys did not approve of this when Noah showed the very first indication of his attraction to you years ago. If anything, they had been your number one supporter even when you yourself did not know yet. Nick Folio included.

“Baby, I-I’m close,” he whispered against your ear, burying his face into your hair. “Where do you want me?”

“I-inside,” you gasped. You could also feel your climax nearing with the way his cock was relentlessly hitting your spot. “I’m on the pill. F-fill me up, please… baby.”

And that did it for him.

Noah’s thrusts became erratic, and with one final push, you felt his thick, hot strands of come spurting inside you. The feeling alone made you explode for the second time around his throbbing cock, your juices mixing inside your womb. 

Noah slowly collapsed on top of you, catching his breath to calm down before finally pulling out. 

He dragged his nose along your shoulder before placing wet kisses on your warm skin. You were sure he was smiling the whole time.

“Best birthday gift ever,” he chuckled into your ear, lightly biting your earlobe. “I could get used to celebrating my birthday from here on if I get this kind of present every damn time.”

You playfully scoffed, turning around to face him. The all too familiar smugness in Noah’s face was back against his flushed skin. 

You were about to open your mouth to throw a rebuttal, but both of you were startled by the sudden loud music in max volume playing right outside the bedroom door.

At that point, you just wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

Girl you know I-I-I Girl you know I-I-I Don’t need candles or cake Just need your body to make

“Folio, go to fucking hell!” Feeling your cheeks burn, you frustratingly yelled at your younger friend, whose annoying face was surely on the other side, and threw one of the pillows at the door as if it would stop their antics. You could hear their shameless laughs from the outside, which also made Noah do the same as he collapsed next to you, running his fingers through his sweaty hair.

You smacked your best friend’s naked chest while shooting him a death glare.

And before you could retract your hand, Noah was quick to grab it, interlacing your fingers with his and placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. 

Now your cheeks burned for a whole different reason.

What a happy birthday for him, indeed.

###

© 2025 paradiiddle | masterlist

[paradiiddle]

birthday sex pt. 1 [bestfriend!noah]

Your best friend wants a special gift from you on his birthday.

Bestfriend!Noah x F!reader

Content warning: none, there's no actual birthday sex lol

Word count: 2.7k

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: This has been sitting in my gdocs for almost 2 years now lol just had to finally polish and put this out. I have some doubts with this one tho so I am sorry in advance. XD

“Your turn!”

Despite turning 30 in literally a few minutes, Noah happily skipped his way towards you, eagerly waiting for a present like how a dog would do for a treat. Clad in his favorite tank top, your tall, giddy (perhaps tipsy) best friend was beaming so wide you swore it was blinding. 

Your gang threw a chill pre-Halloween hangout/party at the guys’ apartment to also welcome Mr. Slenderman’s birthday. You were having fun with your all-male group of friends— eating, drinking, and laughing your hearts out while waiting for the clock to strike 12— until Matt announced it’s time for presents before everyone got shitfaced drunk. Stupid you were running errands the whole day that you totally forgot about your best friend’s birthday coinciding with the holiday. You hoped they’d just skip the gifts this time, so you silently cursed Matt for remembering and announcing the whole thing. 

As expected, everyone had given Noah a gift. Except for you.

“Um,” you mumbled as you took a sip of your beer before throwing him the cutest grin you could muster, craning your head towards his smiley face. “I kind of… forgot.”

The birthday celebrant’s face dropped as everyone else in the room laughed, witnessing how his ear-to-ear smile faded in slow motion. Unbeknownst to you, for the past week, each one of your friends had repeatedly heard the brunet getting excited specifically for a gift from you. A little too enthusiastic for someone who claimed not to give a shit about his birthday.

As the only girl in the group and one of his “OGs”, it’s safe to say that you were Noah’s favorite— favorite to hang with, to get the attention of, and to annoy at the same time.

Feigning hurt, he clutched his chest as he moved closer to you, making you take a step back automatically. 

He scoffed like the diva that he was, “And you call yourself my friend?”

“Noah, I’m sorry!” You giggled while placing your hand on his tattooed shoulder to stop him from advancing any further. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

Perhaps powered by alcohol, Noah was blunt in his response, catching you off guard. 

“How about a kiss?” 

An annoying smirk crept up his face, making you scoff and roll your eyes while the rest of your friends hollered.

“Oohh, Sebastian is gonna get some!” Folio yelled from the back before making a kissy face your way, earning him a death glare from you.

“Go get it, dude! Finally!” Ruffilo piled on, wiggling his brows at his childhood best friend.

“Stop it, you assholes!” You playfully smacked Noah’s chest while trying to hide your cheeks that were starting to heat up.  

Noah had become introverted and more private as you grew older, but tonight, he once again unveiled his outgoing, flirtatious self. Maybe it had something to do with his turning 30? You couldn’t be so sure. However, his current behavior reminded you of being one of the original victims of his mischievous attempts back in uni— his special choice, in fact, which made you and Noah the main subjects of teasing by the rest of the sausage fest up until today. You shrugged off his advances every time, not fully realizing his hidden intention.

“Look, look, her ears are turning red!” Matt suddenly announced, prompting you to quickly drape your hair over your lobes. Sensing your discomfort, Noah sneakily grabbed onto your hip. The sides of his eyes were crinkling with how much he was smiling at the situation you found yourself in.

It’s your birthday so I know you want to riiiide out Even if we only go to myyyy house

You groaned loudly, hearing the song that one of your friends —you were sure it was Folio— purposely played through the speakers to torment you further. It was that one obnoxious song that they love to play when celebrating birthdays. 

“You guys suck!”

Sip mo-eezy as we sit upon myyyy couch

“Feels good, but I know you want to cryyyy out,” your singer best friend purposely went off-key while sending you an ever-familiar teasing wink. At this point, you’re no longer sure if the cause of your flushed look was from blushing or from being annoyed at the asses you unfortunately call your friends, especially this idiot who started to move his giant body like a stripper in front of you.

“Cut it out, Davis.” Knowing how much he hated hearing his last name, you hoped it would make him stop.

You say you want passion, I think you found it Get ready for action, don’t be astounded

The birthday boy just laughed, though, as the music continued to blast loudly, your friends singing along as they collectively celebrated your misery.

We switching positions, you feel surrounded Tell me where you want your gift, girl

“I thought I was the one getting the gift here,” Noah pouted, prompting you to squish his face with your hands. You couldn’t help but notice how visible the freckles on his cheeks were getting, and how red his face had become from his shenanigans.

Girl you know I-I-I Girl you know I-I-I

Everybody was having the time of their life teasing the two of you that you thought you wouldn’t be able to get out of it. Thankfully, Folio approached you with a shot of tequila, allowing you to slip out of Noah’s hold. 

“Happy birthday, Seb.” You tapped Noah’s reddening cheek before pouring the nasty alcohol down your throat and sucking a slice of lime.

Running his fingers through his hair, the brunette smirked as he enjoyed the sight of you before him. Getting you all flushed and worked up from his and the other boys’ teasing was already good enough as his birthday gift. 

Although for quite some time now, he had been wishing for more. 

–

It was past 2 am when your group started to wind down. Ruffilo had retreated to his room; Davis and Matt were passed out, snoring on the couch, while the rest kept up with their conversation, finishing the remaining booze. 

As the alcohol started to take effect on your system, you made your way to the kitchen to sip some cold water. You stayed there for a while, leaning on the counter and admiring the city view from the window. There was a small fireworks display blasting from a distance, somehow reminding you of the fireworks show you and your friends used to witness at festivals when you were younger. Back then, it was just you and Noah— both stupid eighteen-year-olds living alone for the first time in LA— until two of his childhood friends, Ruffilo and Davis, came after him and instantly became your peers. The group later on snowballed with Folio, Matt, and Jolly coming in when the guys decided to legitimize their garage band. 

Who would’ve thought you would remain part of the circle despite being the only girl and the only one who’s not musically inclined? The fact that you still could not read even the most basic notes continued to amuse you.

“Yo, smiley face! You thinkin’ ‘bout me?” Noah snapped you out of your thoughts as he appeared on your side, also chugging down a bottle of water. He was now shirtless, fully exposing his tattoos that covered his pale upper body. 

“In your dreams,” you scoffed.  

He mirrored your position against the counter. But instead of facing the window, he angled his inked torso towards you, his face donning that playful grin he always loved to show you. 

And perhaps, only for you.

“What?” You asked, raising your eyebrow as you looked at the smile he refused to remove from his stupid face all night.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Licking his lips, he leaned his shoulder a bit closer to you.

“Fire away, birthday boy.”

Noah’s chocolate eyes were smiling. “I was serious earlier.” 

“About what?” 

“I… really wanted a kiss.” He giggled while his hand absentmindedly rubbed his nape. “From you.”

Your eyebrows knitted, not really sure if you’re hearing from your best friend or the alcohol on his behalf.

“Dude, you’re drunk. Go to sleep.” Shooting him an incredulous look, you fiddled with your empty bottle of water as you saw his gaze lowering towards your lips.

“I’m not, I stopped drinking an hour ago,” he let out a breathy laugh before chewing on his lip. “Damn, you’re really cute when you’re nervous.”

“Stop fucking with me, Noah.” You rolled your eyes, looking away as you felt your cheeks heat up for the second time tonight.

“Hey, I’m really not!” 

No one said a word for a while as you just gazed into each other’s eyes. 

Maybe it’s also the alcohol, but something inside you wanted to humor your best friend just for tonight. Knowing his insistent nature, all you needed to do was give him a peck to shut him up. 

You guys kissed years ago for a stupid frat party dare; no malice at all and nothing changed between you. So it shouldn’t be an issue now, right?

Right?

Noah finally broke the silence by clearing his throat. “May I… kiss you then?” 

Despite that, your hesitation was still palpable. “W-why though?” 

His Adam's apple bobbed before letting out a deep chuckle. “I-I wanted to know how it feels… now.”

“What? To kiss someone?” In times of trouble, deflection was really your favorite armor.

“To kiss you, silly.”

You blinked. 

Your eyes once again lingered on his smiling pair, taking the time to appreciate the freckles dancing underneath, against his flushed skin.

If someone told you earlier that your long-time buddy and now a famous screaming frontman Noah Sebastian Davis would be insisting on kissing you on his very own birthday, you sure would be laughing in their face. You knew him as a very straightforward person; if he liked someone, he’d be telling them that in an instant. Therefore, it was hard to believe the words he just let out. Not when you had known the guy for almost half of your life.

Although kissing someone did not usually equate with liking them. 

Right?

“Noah, stop messing with me.” You snickered while lightly hitting his inked arm with your empty water bottle. “Why on earth would you want to…”

And just like how he opened up to you, it all happened so fast.

He didn’t let you dodge his request anew as he quickly leaned down to connect your lips with a chaste kiss, his hand tilting your chin up to meet him.

Eyes going wide, your heart skipped a beat as you felt your friend’s wet, chapped pair brush against your own; his pointed nose poking your cheek, and your trembling hands finding purchase on his arms. 

“Because I like you, stupid,” Noah whispered against your lips as he momentarily broke away, his alcohol breath fanning your cheek. “I’ve always wanted to tell you this. I’ve fucking liked you ever since you punched me in the face that time I teased you about your ugly haircut back in uni.”

He let out a nervous chuckle before pecking your nose. “Remember when we kissed during that party? God, I was the happiest that day… You can even ask Ruffilo.” 

Noah’s big hand started to caress your jaw, his thumb lightly stroking your swollen lip as if coaxing a favorable response from you. 

Not knowing how to react to his confession, a part of you was somehow relieved that he leaned in once again and shamelessly reconnected your mouths. 

Perhaps this would give you time to compose yourself. But how could you, when his buck teeth started tugging on your lower lip, allowing him to slowly slither his tongue in, making it so hard for you to think straight?

Your mind wandered to the kiss your younger selves shared back in the day. The current movement of his lips was familiar, but the way he devoured your mouth this time felt way more intentional.

And maybe, more needy.

Noah’s other arm slid around your waist, bringing you close to his bare torso despite still not getting any significant reaction from you. You tried to match his lip movements at the very least, but you were not even sure if it was the right thing to do. Not when at least one of you was still tipsy.

Sensing your hesitation, your best friend broke the kiss once more and rested his forehead against yours, arms still keeping you close to him.

He was quiet for a second; your heavy breaths were the only ones your ears picked up, despite the muffled laughter of your other friends coming from the living room. 

The thought of them walking in on the two of you making out never even crossed your mind.

Noah’s voice cracked as he let out a huff, “Say something… please?”

His eyes looked a bit glassy, but they bored into yours like you’re his lifeline, trying to convey some emotion you just could not pinpoint— something akin to fear or longing.

“P-please… tell me it’s not just me, baby. Tell me I was not imagining the way you always looked at me when I did something nice for you.” He tucked some strands of your hair behind your ear before pecking the skin right under your lobe.

“When I brought girls over, you’d always turn cold towards me– that… that meant something, right? All those times you dropped everything for me, tell me it was not just because I am your best friend.”

Lightly squeezing your waist, Noah heaved out a sigh before once again pressing his now damp forehead against yours, his long fringes tickling your skin. 

“Fuck, please tell me I’m not assuming things.” You could tell his voice was now laced with worry. “At least… tell me you felt something from that kiss?” 

You squeezed your eyes shut, still trying to process all this new information he dropped on you. 

“Noah… I…” You looked into his eyes, hoping to find the answer in his brown orbs. 

You wanted to tell him that he was right all along. While you never entertained the idea of you two together, you were never not aware of how your heart skipped a beat every time Noah was around; how your eyes would always tend to find him in a crowded room; how he would always be the first to come to mind every damn time you listened to new releases of your favorite bands. You always pretended to be fed up with his annoying ass, but deep inside, you never wanted him to stop. You always teased and cheered him on every time he went after girls, but you secretly wished it were you he’d chase after. 

It’s just a shame you never gave yourself a chance to acknowledge any of it.

And now that he’d finally presented the opportunity you had long been waiting for, there’s nothing else in the world you’d rather do.

However, your default avoidant self prevailed, and what you said next made you wish you had taken more time to think it through. 

“I— I don’t know…”

As soon as you uttered those words, it was like the two of you were transported back to the scene in the living room earlier. 

Your chest felt a familiar pang as the last semblance of hope from Noah’s face disappeared. The little awkward smile that tugged on his lips dropped in slow motion, followed by his tattooed arms gently retreating from your waist. 

“Noah, I’m—“

“Yeah, no, it’s cool,” he chose not to let you finish, perhaps saving himself from the humiliation he did not expect. “I’m… I’m sorry for kissing you.”

The words that came out of his mouth were barely audible, although you were not sure if it was because he was deliberately whispering or because your heart was thumping much louder.

You wanted to retract your words and pull him back to feel his warm skin again, but all you could do was stare at him as he gave you a tight-lipped smile before turning his back on you to walk out of the kitchen.

You felt your eyes well up as his tall frame disappeared from your line of sight. Sure, you needed more time to think and act rationally after all of that, but you could no longer deny the stubborn voice inside you that you had been suppressing for so long.

One way or another, you needed to give Noah Sebastian the birthday present he was waiting for.

###

→ Part 2

© 2025 paradiiddle | masterlist

[paradiiddle]

idiot pt. 3: lonely planets [ex-boyfriend!noah]

Noah finally comes to his senses and regrets everything. He tries to reach out for a chance to talk, but the universe has other plans.

Ex-boyfriend!Noah x F!reader

Content warning: hurt/no comfort, Noah suffering emotionally

Word count: 3.8k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A/N: I am so glad to have finished this part after 2 months lmao. It's been sitting in my drafts as I was quite unsure about how I want it to progress, but here goes. I hope my writing did it justice somehow lol. Thank you to those who read and/or follow this story!

**Third photo credit: edensvices (twt)

'far away out from me, but I still feel you' / I Revolve (Around You) - Neck Deep

Regret finally dawned on Noah one month later. 

He was in his room—cleaning his desk clutter, music blasting from his headphones to completely ignore the world around him—when something yellow caught his eye. 

From where he was standing, it looked like a tiny ball, squished in the gap between his desk and the wall; something he couldn’t make out but piqued his curiosity enough to extend his arm and reach for it. 

Noah’s breath hitched as soon as he felt the material, even before fully holding it in his hand. The rubber grazing his fingers alone sparked a memory from a year ago— something he didn’t know he needed a reminder of.

The stress ball looked even smaller on his big hand. With the orange beak slightly fading, the duck’s crooked eyes stared at him mockingly. Like it always did.

He squeezed it once.

And the feel of the rubber foam deflating inside his palm brought your voice back to his head.

“Babe, this duck looks like you.”

He scoffed, clearly not amused by the reminder.

“I’m buying this so when I’m angry at you, I can just squeeze this one to death.”

You must have left it in his room when you last stayed the night. He couldn’t remember when and was not interested in recalling any further, but his mind continued to wander.

“When you’re away, and I miss you, I can just look at this pouty little thing.”

“Look, it’s literally you when you’re annoyed or when you do that stupid face on stage!”

The sound of your laughter permeated his memory.

“Baby, I don’t look like that.” He remembered whining like a child in response, ironically pouting exactly like the toy in his hand.

Surprisingly, Noah found himself chuckling. A first since you broke up. The vibrations through his chest slightly loosened the constricting feeling he had been carrying for months. 

He never told anyone, but that silly duck idea you had of him was the very reason he acknowledged a fan’s duck photo on their phone screen in one of their recent EU shows. He could never forget how his breath hitched when he spotted that photo as soon as the frontal lights dimmed for him to scan the crowd. For a second, he thought you were in the audience, orchestrating that just to tease him– like everything was normal, like you never even left him in the first place.

He did not want to admit it, but deep inside, he hoped the reaction he made reached you and got your attention. Wherever you might be. 

Noah heaved out a sigh as he placed the stress ball on his desk.

You. 

It had always been you whose attention mattered the most to him. He cared about it too much that, until now, he never understood how he had been able to carry on without you by his side. 

He longed for it so badly that he did not hesitate to produce a song he had finished writing in one night, a week after you left him, and released it to the public without second thoughts. Consequences be damned. 

Perhaps it was that same longing for attention that made him confront you unnecessarily at Nick’s party. Despite the fact that he promised his best friend he wouldn’t do as much as breathe near you if he decided to show up. 

Noah only wanted you to acknowledge him. If he couldn’t make you care about him again, he at least wanted you to know he was there– yearning, hoping. 

Unfortunately, he had the worst way of showing that.

That night, something inside him just snapped when you gave him what he wanted— a reaction of any kind that would indicate you noticing him. What he did not prepare for, though, was your outburst. Thinking you would not retaliate, he was completely taken aback when you raised your voice at him, the fury in your teary eyes unrecognizable.

In the years that he’d known you, you had always been calm, no matter how pissed you’d get. Being yelled at by you for the first time, Noah unfortunately let his emotions get the best of him. 

It was a knee-jerk reaction, he’d like to believe. And it did nothing but hurt you. Even more than he already had. 

And the worst part? Noah was aware the entire time that his choice of words was a dagger in an open wound— the very same wound he himself inflicted.

Yet he chose not to stop there.

He just could not accept the fact that he now had to face the consequences of his actions alone.

So he tried. 

He tried throwing it back to you, with a sliver of hope that somehow a part of you would still want to share that burden with him moving forward.

But all his efforts seemed to be futile. If anything, it just pushed you even further away. 

Now he’s left alone in his apartment with your stupid duck stress ball staring right back at him from his desk, as if condemning him for everything he had done to you. The rest of your stuff was no longer in his place; you had blocked any means of communication with him that he would be forced to seek Nicholas’ help in the off-chance he wanted to contact you.

Slumping on his bed, Noah silently cursed.

Who would’ve thought your breakup would also cause a rift between him and Nick, his childhood best friend? 

Ever since that party, Nicholas had been giving him the cold shoulder– never wanting to speak to him, let alone going near him, unless it concerned the band. 

He could not blame him, though, knowing that Nick was the one who found you crying and shivering at the back exit of the bar that night. He could never forget how Nick barged into his room, with Michael trailing behind in an attempt to mediate, his best friend’s face fuming red from anger as he yelled at him for making you cry. Noah tried to keep his indifferent facade the whole time he was lecturing him, pretending not to care even though Nick’s words were sending blows right through his chest. 

And one thing that his best friend said struck him the hardest.

“Did you know what she asked me to do earlier, huh? She fucking asked me not to give up on your fucking sorry ass! That you’re also hurting just like her, but you needed your friends more than she does! She still cares about you, you asshole, and all you did was make her fucking cry! Why couldn’t you just leave her alone?”

Noah smiled bitterly at the memory. After everything he put you through, you still cared about him. After all the hurtful words thrown at you, you still thought of his well-being as if he still held a piece of your heart.

At that moment, a stupid– and perhaps delusional– part of him wondered if that remained true. 

He would never admit it out loud, but a part of him was hopeful.

—

“Wait, let me get this straight– you want me to ask your ex if she wants to talk?” Jolly looked at him like he had grown two heads. 

Noah just nodded in response, not meeting his older friend’s questioning eyes; even he would admit how absurd the favor sounded. But Jolly was the next person you were closest to after Nick, so he really did not have much of a choice.

Jolly huffed out a laugh before taking a sip of his coffee. The two of them were the only ones in the studio while the rest went out to spend their break playing video games in the living room. 

It had been a week since their North American tour concluded, and Noah spent almost each day contemplating and planning his next course of action to get you to talk to him so he could apologize.

“Dude, you’re kidding, right?” The Swede still looked at him funny. 

“I am not,” Noah scoffed, running his hand through his hair before he quietly continued, “I… really want to talk to her.”

No one spoke for a while, as if both men were trying to comprehend the gravity of Noah’s admission.

“Oh.” Jolly slowly turned his chair to face him fully, realizing his friend was on the verge of opening up after five months of shutting out anything that involved you, of spewing bitter words every damn time he’s reminded of you.

Noah took a deep breath as silence enveloped the studio. He could feel Jolly’s eyes on him, like the Swede could not believe this moment had finally come.

“Man, I am going insane,” he quietly started after letting out a humorless laugh, dragging his hand across his face. “I know I fucked up, and I regret everything. I am so mad at myself for hurting her… for blaming her for things she never did.”

Tears pricked Noah’s eyes. While a new wave of guilt coursed through him with his confession, he also felt some of the heavy weight starting to lift off his chest. Finally.

Jolly chose not to say anything; his eyes gave him an understanding and encouraging look, knowing full well his friend needed to let it all out.

“For fuck’s sake, I made her cry so many times. I could never forgive myself for that alone.”

Noah ran his tattooed fingers through his hair as he exhaled. 

“I fucking regret all of it. She’s… my everything, and I failed to recognize the things she’s done for me because of my fucking ego. And now… now I might be too late… but— I need her to know how fucking sorry I am, that I am not mad at her— how the fuck could I ever be mad at her?

“I need her to know that I did not mean any of the things I said to her that night… or the things I made her believe.” Noah could now hear his voice starting to break. Biting his lip, he blinked back tears that were threatening to fall before continuing, “I need her to know that I love her. I still do. And… I… I am not ready for her to forget about me just yet.”

He whispered the last part as if it were a precious little secret he’d been keeping for so long. Noah’s head now hung low, eyes absentmindedly staring into the carpeted flooring of the studio.

“Fuck, dude,” Jolly broke the silence, his voice mirroring the weight of what his friend just dropped on him. “Have you tried personally reaching out to her?”

Noah nodded, eyes not moving from the floor. “She’s blocked me in everything– even my emails kept on bouncing back.”

“Have you thought of visiting her in person?” 

“Yeah, but… I don’t wanna put her in a position where she feels cornered, you know? I think I owe her that at the very least.”

“I totally get that, man, and I respect you for that,” Jolly said. “So now your only option is me… or Nick.”

Noah only hummed in response, back now slumping against the leather couch.

“Okay, I get it. But I’m afraid I’m not the best person to help you right now. She never replied to any of my messages since… you know.” Jolly recalled the events at the bar where he last saw you. “Ruffilo might be your only option, man. I know they still talk and see each other.”

Noah cursed silently. 

Jolly continued, “Talk to Nick. See if you can contact her through him, and maybe check what he has to say as well. He’s her best friend after all, so he should be able to give you sound advice on this.” 

Throwing Jolly a glance, Noah pursed his lips, knowing full well that the Swede was right. 

“But for what it’s worth, man, I am proud of you for owning up to your mistakes.” The older guy gave him a tight-lipped smile before standing up. 

Noah huffed out a quiet but genuine laugh. Another first in five months. 

“And before you say that Nick does not want to talk to you, well, you’re technically right. But you guys go way back; he will listen to you if you just try hard.” Jolly clapped him on the back before walking towards the door. “And make sure to apologize to him, too.”

“Yeah… I will.”

—

But it turned out Noah was still stubborn enough not to heed Jolly’s advice, despite everything.

After their talk at the studio about a week ago, he had done a lot of thinking and decided to forgo seeking his best friend’s help. For now, he wanted to try something on his own, hoping it would work in his favor. 

He was doing the right thing. 

Pep-talking himself, Noah repeated those words in his mind as he drove along a familiar road for the first time in over five months. What’s the worst that could happen anyway? He was just gonna drop something off really quickly without anyone noticing him. And besides, it was barely six in the morning; no one should be up yet. You should not be up yet to catch him doing just that at your front door. Unless you had a change in your daily routine and decided to go on a morning run all of a sudden.

He snorted at that. You were never a morning person. He remembered those times in the first few months of your relationship, when he had to learn not to make the mistake of waking you up before eight a.m. if he did not want to have his head bitten off. 

Precisely the reason why Noah decided to drive to your house this early with a small bunch of sunflowers in his passenger seat, with an attached sealed envelope containing an outpouring of his feelings, mostly of regrets and apologies.

The plan was just to leave them at your doorstep without you knowing. After careful thinking, he decided that he would never show his face to you unless you wanted to. He wanted you to call the shots this time. He owed you that much.

So, he’d just drop them off.

And hope for the best. 

And if it still wouldn’t work, then Nicholas Ruffilo would be his last resort.

Noah felt his heart hammering against his chest as he made a familiar turn to your street. He sighed at the sight of the convenience store where you two used to frequent when late-night cravings kicked in. He wondered if they ever restocked with that orange juice you loved so much. Or those microwaveable cheese sandwiches you always cut in half to share with him.

His heart warmed at the memory. You always made sure to include him even in the littlest things.

Sighing, Noah slowed down as he approached your neighborhood, trying his best to compose himself one last time.

“Deep breaths,” he mumbled before exhaling through his mouth, knuckles clutching the wheel harder than usual. “You’re not even gonna see her, you moron. It’ll be okay.”

Noah might have headlined a lot of shows and performed for thousands of people several times, yet none of those prepared him for this moment. He didn’t know it could get this nerve-wracking to finally grow a pair and make amends with the love of his life, whom he promised the world to, who only ended up crying and broken, all thanks to him.

“It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay,” Noah repeated under his breath, parking his car a few houses before his actual destination.

The same words spilled out of his drying mouth as he walked to your place, flowers and letter hidden inside his jacket’s inner pocket. He had his hood up and head down, afraid your nosy next-door neighbor might recognize him.

Noah took careful steps through the pavement as he neared your house, the sound of a few dried leaves crunching underneath his sneakers somehow helping ease the blooming anxiety in his chest. 

His feet stopped as he reached a familiar brick driveway, letting out one last exhale before allowing himself to look at your front yard. He heaved a sigh of relief (with a hint of disappointment) when he did not see your car parked anywhere. Nothing much had changed, except for the well-manicured lawn that made him chuckle under his breath. For all the years you had been together, Noah only saw your lawn thoroughly cleaned up about five times. And not without you complaining each time. He wondered if you did it yourself this time, like he always nagged you to, or if you hired a guy to do the work again.

Shaking his head in amusement, he started taking steps towards your front door.

But as he reached for the flowers inside his jacket, a voice calling him from the sidewalk made him stop in his tracks. 

Noah froze, shoulder stiffened as he stood straight, not quite hearing the voice properly to recognize the owner.

He silently cursed as he felt his hands go cold. Maybe he was right about your change of morning routine.

Now he was internally panicking, chiding himself for not preparing for this kind of scenario. What would he say to you? Should he apologize right away? Should he tell you he wanted you back? Or should he just explain why he was there and hand you the letter?

Fuck, should he run and drive home instead?

Not daring to look back, Noah felt his heart beating rapidly as he heard the footsteps approaching.

“Hey!”

He was about to turn back when he heard it was a woman. 

And he let out a sigh of relief when he realized it was not you. 

Thankfully.

He felt his body relax a bit, turning to see a blonde middle-aged woman in workout clothes. One of her earphones dangled on her shoulder as she caught her breath. His eyebrows scrunched as he tried to place her, thinking if she was a relative or a friend of yours that he had once met before.

“Sorry,” the woman sent her an apologetic look as she huffed out a breath. “I was in the middle of my run when I saw you. Are you here to look at the house?”

“What?” He clarified, brows still creasing.

“I’m Claire, by the way, I’m the realtor,” she said, extending her hand and not bothering to answer his question.

“Realtor? I d-don’t understand.”

“Oh, are you not interested in buying?”

Brows still scrunched up, Noah did a double-take at your house and let his eyes scan the facade, just to make sure he was not in the wrong place.

But before he could open his mouth to ask the lady more questions, his eyes spotted a sign by the sidewalk that he clearly overlooked when he arrived earlier.

It was a simple red PVC board on a white wooden stand, containing two words in bold font that made his stomach drop.

For Sale

“What?” he muttered to himself, feeling his heartbeat racing anew. Panic was evident in Noah's eyes as he frantically looked around for any indication that you still lived here. That you were still here.

Aside from the fact that your car’s not in the driveway, the place seemed normal. Like you were just inside, peacefully snoring in bed while waiting for your alarm to go off.

It was now the realtor’s turn to scrunch up her eyebrows as she looked at the alarmed face of the tall tattooed stranger.

“Sir,” she called. “Is everything alright?”

Noah cursed, running his fingers through his hair before tugging harshly at the base.

“How- how long has this been for sale?” He turned to the woman once again.

“For almost a month now,” she answered. 

A month?

One month ago he was on the road, performing for people who had no idea he had been spending his alone times in quiet corners thinking about you, beating himself up for being the shitty boyfriend you never deserved. He had been spending a ridiculous amount of time to put up a facade for everyone, pretending he was okay when all he wanted to do was go back home and find you.

He would’ve spent the last month begging on his knees at your front door had he known. Had he fucking known.

“The owner… where’d she go? Why did she sell?” Noah asked, your name carefully spilling out of his lips. 

“Oh, you know her!” The woman’s eyes smiled at the mention of you. “I have no idea, though, where she is now. The last time I saw her was when she turned the house over, and from then on, I have been corresponding with her dad. And all I know is that she needed to move, and the family had no plans on coming back to LA, so they decided to sell.”

“Fuck.” He let out a frustrated sigh, not caring about how the confused realtor flinched as he cursed louder than he intended to.

Not saying another word to the woman, Noah walked away, the flowers and letter now completely forgotten in his pocket.

He stopped at a shaded spot by the sidewalk. His hands shaking, he fished out his phone and dialed that one number whose owner would be able to give him the answer he was looking for.

At that point, he didn’t even care that they were currently not on speaking terms.

Noah was pacing back and forth, hand tugging on his hair, waiting for the other line to pick up. 

“Hello?” A groggy voice finally answered before the call went to voicemail.

“Nick, where is she?”

“W-what?” His best friend cleared his throat, confusion laced in his sleepy voice. “Fucking hell, what time is it? Who’s this? Noah?”

“Where the fuck is she? I’m at her house, and it’s fucking for sale, man. Why didn’t you tell me she fucking moved a month ago?”

Nick heaved out a sigh, waiting for a few seconds before answering his best friend who’s clearly spiraling.

“What difference would it have made, Noah?”

“Dude—”

Nick did not let him continue. 

“Would you have apologized to her a month ago?” Nick tried to remain calm. “‘Cos a month ago, I clearly remember you having the time of your life on tour, introducing Left For Good on stage by dropping hints about a certain bitch who did you wrong and owed you a damn apology.”

“Nick, you don’t—“

Nick let out a humorless laugh. “What? You gonna tell me you regret that now? Now that you know she fucking left already?”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Noah swallowed hard, his voice cracking. “Nick, please… just tell me where she is.”

Nick went quiet on the other line. 

“Or, just tell me if she’s doing okay,” Noah continued, crestfallen. “I came to her house just to drop off this stupid letter I wrote to tell her how sorry I am, and if she wanted to talk. I swear... I did not plan to force her to talk or even look at me. I just… I just want her to know that I fucking regret everything.”

“Noah… do you have any idea what she’s been through? Because of you?” Nick asked as calmly as he could. As much as he wanted to rip his best friend’s head off, he could not dismiss the sincerity in his voice. Jolly also told him about their talk back in the studio.

Noah did not speak for a moment, fearing he had now reached an impasse.

But he couldn’t not try.

Not when he’d already lost everything.

Not when he’d already lost you.

“Nick… please? I swear I’m gonna make things right. Just… I need your help. Please?”

The older guy sighed on the other line, rolling his eyes at Noah’s persistence.

“She’s… she’s doing fine,” Nick exhaled, finally caving. “She got offered a job a few months back… so she relocated last month.”

Somehow relieved, Noah pried, “Where?”

But the relief was temporary with the next words that tumbled out of Nick’s mouth.

“Somewhere in Europe," Nick casually replied as if Europe were just a couple of states away. He paused, waiting for any reaction on the other line. But when he heard nothing but Noah's deep breaths, he continued, "It’s a... 3-year contract.”

Color drained from Noah’s face as his best friend's words echoed in his head.

Europe.

3 years.

3 fucking years.

He cursed to himself, slowly tilting his head back as he blinked back tears he did not know were already brimming in his eyes.

Nick continued, as if anticipating his next question. “No, she doesn’t wanna hear from you, Noah. And I need you to respect that, I’m sorry.”

His jaw clenched at the confirmation, his quivering hand tightening around his phone.

He squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to convince himself that he was dreaming. But the feeling of warm stray tears trickling down his cheek and his heart being squeezed inside his chest continued to anchor him to reality.

Noah sighed as bittersweet memories from a year ago flashed before him instead: the two of you talking about your future as you lounged in your living room, how he would be willing to move in with you if you wanted to stay in the house you grew up in, how happily you kissed him when he said those words, how you two planned on renovating so you could turn one of the rooms into his studio…

He chuckled bitterly. The memories could go on and on, but none of those would erase the fact that you’re no longer here to fulfill those with him.

Noah nodded in defeat.

“So this is how it fucking ends.”

###

© 2026 paradiiddle | masterlist

[paradiiddle]

idiot pt. 2: drowning in the shallow end [ex-boyfriend!noah]

You finally broke up with Noah. And you were doing fine coping (or so you thought), until the bitter reality in the form of a 6’3 in-denial rockstar reels you back into the shallows.

Ex-boyfriend!Noah x F!reader

Content warning: angst (am still bad at this), arguing, swearing, name-calling, Noah still being an ass tho not as bad as the 1st part (lol sorry), Left For Good taken out of context for the plot

Word count: 4.1k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A/N: What better way to spend the first day of 2026 than to finish the second part of this fic lol happy new year! 🎉 Anyway, for those who follow this story, I'm sorry, but she doesn't get her revenge here just yet. There will be a 3rd part, hopefully.

Title inspired by Unconditional Love - Real Friends; song came on shuffle while I was writing, and I thought it suited the theme I was going for. So I have it on repeat for 24 hours now lmao.

I won’t be what you thought of me So I’ll leave with the honesty The esteem of autonomy

You rolled your eyes, scoffing as you scrolled down to read the succeeding lines of the song one of the staff writers reviewed in an article. 

Working as an editor for a rock magazine had never been so difficult and annoying. You loved your job, but not when you’re still recovering from a breakup with a certain screaming frontman whose new single’s lyrics shamelessly sat in front of you. 

Mocking. Taunting.

It surely did, you were certain.

No matter how hard you tried to avoid it, that song always found its way to you, may it be in the form of online promotional materials, Instagram reels, or now in the shared document you had the extreme pleasure of editing.

You knew for sure Noah wrote those lines with you in mind, inspired by how you ‘ruined’ him when you finally decided to end your relationship three months ago. But to be fair, you never assumed at first— hell, you didn’t even know that song existed— if not for Nick’s random ‘I’m sorry’ message on its release day. Thinking you already heard the song, your best friend gave your ex away, and you could only keep your resting bitch face on while trying to ignore the all-too-familiar pang in your chest when you realized what Nick was talking about.

Did he really think you ruined him? Going as far as calling you names in that angry song? 

If so, the amount of trauma that continued to gnaw at you on a daily basis would surely love to have a word with Noah Sebastian. If what you did ‘ruined’ him, then you’d have to think of a better word to describe what he did to you.

You snorted and quietly laughed to yourself. Maybe you could brainstorm that with Nick.

Speaking of the devil, your phone buzzed against your desk, showing a new text message from your best friend.

Nick Ruff Yo, you comin tonight?

Nick was hosting a small belated party for his birthday at a local bar, and he had been nagging you to come, despite the fact that his other best friend would also be there.

Straightening your back that had been hunched for about an hour now, you typed in a reply.

You Lol You’re the only one who wants me there

Nick’s next responses came fast. You were sure he wasn’t having any of it.

Nick Ruff Hey that’s not true Nadine wants to see you And Jolly was asking how you been

You Aww you know why i can’t come Nicky 🙃 Go have fun, it’s your night Tell them i said hi I’ll see you this weekend :)

Nick Ruff :(

You heaved out a sigh before putting your phone face down and bringing your attention back to the computer screen. 

Must life be this unfair? When you ended things with Noah, it did not occur to you that you were also breaking up with the friends you’ve made— even friendships that you’ve had longer than your romantic relationship with him. It’s just not fair how he got to keep all of them and leave you with just your best friend, Nicholas, when you’ve known the rest of the guys even before Noah and his stupid smile waltzed into your life. 

Funny how even after everything, you still got the short end of the stick.

Your phone ringing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you had been mindlessly scrolling through the article you were supposed to be editing.

Nick Ruff calling…

You swiped the answer button with no hesitation, putting him on speaker as you tried to continue with your work. “What now, Nicholas?” 

“Hey, listen,” he started; you could hear a tinge of hope in his voice. “I just heard from your boy, and apparently, he could not come to my party tonight.”

“Okay, first off, Ruffilo, Noah’s not my boy.”

He snorted louder than he intended to, cutting you momentarily. “I haven’t even dropped a name.”

Your eyes squinted at his goofy contact photo on screen as heat slowly crept up your cheeks. It’s a good thing this wasn’t a video call.

“Y-yeah, shut up,” you stammered, making Nick chuckle.

“Dude, I can hear you blushing from here,” he teased. 

“Nicholas Ruffilo, I swear to god—“

“Yeah, okay, okay. So, Noah won’t be there, will you please come?”

You groaned. “No, thanks, Nick. You know how he is with his fickle mind.”

You did not want to get started with how many times Noah supposedly bailed on his friends just to show up at the last minute. While that always surprised the guys in a good way, the nice aspect of it would not extend to his estranged ex-girlfriend, that’s for sure. 

“He won’t, I swear,” your best friend assured. “I got you, don’t worry.”

Biting your lip, you didn’t really know how to respond to that. The universe was well aware of how much you wanted to see everyone again, but the idea of possibly bumping into him— even just seeing a sliver of his tattooed skin— was already making your chest tighten, blood running cold. 

Nick could hear your breath hitching on the other line. He never wanted to put you in uncomfortable situations, but he also wanted to be selfish just for tonight. Birthday privilege, he supposed. And with Noah not being there to bother you, what could really go wrong?

“Look, I know you don’t believe me when I say this, but all of our friends want to see you again. I told you this already— they’re more on your side than Noah’s, to be honest. They just... don’t tell him that.”

Heaving out a sigh, you leaned back on your chair, massaging your forehead with your fingers as if soothing a headache that wasn’t there yet.

“Nick, I really don’t wanna see him,” you mumbled.

“And you won’t.”

Frowning, you picked up your phone and brought it closer to your mouth. “What if he shows up?” 

“Then I’ll send him away before you could even lay your eyes on him.” He really had an answer to each of your arguments, didn’t he? “I may be shorter than him, but I could tackle him, you know. I once did when we were kids.”

That made you chuckle. 

Bad Omens vocalist Noah Sebastian, standing 6 feet 3 inches, kicked out of a bar by his own best friend— definitely a headline you would never want to miss.

“Did he really tell you he’s not coming?” You exhaled, already feeling you’re gonna regret even considering the thought later. 

“Yes!” Nick stressed. “I’ll screenshot his text and send it to you. If that helps ease your worries.”

“Okay, send it over, then I’ll decide.”

He groaned. Nick could already picture you overthinking once he hung up and sent that screenshot.

But what other choice did he have?

“Okay, fine,” he said, grumbling but not defeated. “But I swear if you tell me no once again, I’ll personally come and drag you out of your house later, trust me.”

“Yeah, sure you will, Nicky,” you chortled before saying goodbye and hanging up. 

Earlier, you thought this Left For Good article review would be the only challenge you needed to conquer for the day. But apparently, you were one of god’s strongest angels today, tasked to decide if making her best friend happy was worth risking the possibility of coming face to face with her current nightmare. 

Luckily for Nick, he made a good case when he sent you the screenshot of his conversation with Noah. He even went out of his way to ask him again and again if he was sure he was not coming. To which your ex replied affirmatively but with obvious irritation (yes, you could just tell with his use of punctuation).

So, after long hours of internal contemplation, here you were, standing in the parking lot of the bar, hands stuffed inside your jacket pockets while pep-talking yourself one last time before walking towards the main entrance. 

You repeated the plan in your head: just stay long enough to catch up with your closest friends, grab a few drinks along the way. Don't stay until midnight, no matter what. 

And you did that exactly. You had an overdue catch-up discussion with Nick, Jolly, and Nadine; caught up with Folio’s recent shenanigans; got into another deep conversation with Alana; and received unsolicited Bad Omens updates from Matt. You braved each one of those interactions, but not without nervously glancing at the bar’s entrance from time to time, going stiff whenever someone hollered a new arrival. 

“Relax, he’s not coming.” Nick had had enough to call you out, squeezing your shoulders in a comforting manner.

You might look chill around your friends, but your best friend could not disregard the uneasiness your stiff shoulders and clenched jaw were giving away. 

“I’m right here, I got you.” He slid into the booth next to you, his fingers drumming on the wooden table. 

“Thanks, but you don’t have to stay with me the whole time, Nick.” You sipped on your now room-temperature beer. “It’s your party. Go… hang with the others or fuck up that DJ table with Folio.”

“You know I’ve been doing just that for a couple of hours before you arrived, right? Hanging with the guys, I mean.”

You both laughed as your eyes darted to the younger and more carefree Nick, who seemed to be having the time of his life mixing party music for the whole bar. 

“Thanks for persuading me to come tonight, by the way,” you said, playfully swatting his the arm. “It’s… nice. To be able to get out finally. And talk to friends.”

“Told ya they all missed you.”

You let out a deep breath– accidentally making it extra deep that it made Nick snap his head towards you, as though it alerted him like a fire alarm. 

“You okay there?”

“Y-yeah,” you gave him a tight-lipped smile.

While you welcomed the emotional outlets you’d had tonight in the form of your friends, you still wanted to contain your feelings to a minimum, given that this was Nick’s night. You didn’t want to make it all about you— Noah Sebastian’s ex, the subject of Bad Omen’s latest angsty single that was now topping the rock charts.

But these kinds of emotions were just inherently traitors, weren't they? 

Just by sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with your friend tonight and looking at the familiar faces clustered in groups and pairs, happily chatting and bopping to Folio’s obnoxious disco music, you could not help but feel your eyes well up. 

Three months ago, you were not even remotely aware you’d be in this kind of situation. While you never dismissed Noah’s red flags, you still never hoped for it to end the way it did. You wanted the two of you to work, prove that your love and commitment to each other, which you had tirelessly built for three years, could easily trump any issues that came your way.

But one could only do so much on their own. Especially for a two-person relationship. 

“I wish things were different, you know,” you whispered, fingers absentmindedly playing along the rim of your glass. 

“Same here.” Nick quietly responded, eyes darting towards you. “We all do.”

You laughed bitterly, gaze fixated on the condensation dripping down the glass in front of you. “How’s he doing, by the way?”

“Honestly? I don’t even think he’s doing better than you,” he snickered, but you could sense a hint of sadness laced in his voice. “He’s back to being aloof. Only shows his face when he’s needed for band matters. Jolly said he’s either in his room all day or out at god knows where. Never stays long in the common areas of their house anymore.”

Biting your lip, you didn’t even realize that a stray tear had trickled down your cheek as you processed those words. 

Noah. All alone. Dealing with the same problem as you, presumably, but with no one to talk to.

You just couldn’t wrap your head around the thought without having that sinking feeling in your chest. 

No matter how much he’d present himself otherwise, you knew he was never good at being on his own and bottling up his emotions. You witnessed firsthand how he used to spiral before, and describing it as messy was an understatement. 

“We tried talking to him. Sat him down after practice one day, but he just dismissed the subject easily,” Nick continued. “He’s functional, yeah, like everything’s normal. But you could easily catch him zoning out randomly these days.”

You could feel your heart crack as your best friend went on. Sure, you were not doing fine yourself, but unlike Noah, it was easier for you to seek help when things got unpleasant.

Had he been eating well? Properly? Getting enough sleep? You'd give anything to get answers to these questions at the very least.

“The song? That just sprouted out of nowhere, believe me. That was the first time he talked about you,” Nick huffed. “And all for the wrong reasons.”

Tears were now silently streaming down your face, not able to hide the hurt and worry. 

You could sense how hard it was for Nick to share that about him. He might always say that he’s on your side, but you knew deep down that he, of all people, also got his other best friend’s back amid the mess that you and Noah found yourselves in.

And you couldn’t be any more thankful for that.

Sitting up straight, you sheepishly faced him while wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “Nick, could you do me a favor?”

“Yeah?”

“D-don’t give up on him,” your voice cracked. “Please? He needs you guys now more than ever.”

“What?” Nick scoffed, throwing you an incredulous look. “After everything he's done to you? Are you out of your mind?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at your friend’s unfiltered reaction. Even you yourself could not believe how much you still cared about your ex.  

Noah could bury you repeatedly, and you’d still leave him flowers at your tomb each time.

You sighed. Maybe you really were out of your mind.

—

It did not take long for you to bid Nick and the rest of your friends goodbye. It was barely 11 in the evening, and everyone wanted you to stay for a while, but you did not want to risk it any longer. Despite Nick’s reassurances, you swore you expected your giant ex to announce his surprise arrival earlier. Thankfully, fate was on your side tonight. 

Until it wasn’t.

After hugging Ruffilo extra tight, you made a beeline to the back exit of the bar, not wanting to take the chance of getting out of the main entrance and risk stumbling into the man you had been avoiding.

However, as you swung the back door open and stepped out into the chilly December air, you were halted by a gruff, masculine voice that you knew like the back of your hand. Achingly well, for that matter.  

“Bold of you to show your face here,” he bluntly remarked.

Stopping in your tracks, you dared not look back at first. The cold gush of wind carried his familiar woody scent– something you hadn’t smelled in a while. 

You silently cursed Nick as your heart started to hammer against your chest. Did he know he was here?

“Cat got your tongue?” Noah scoffed, eyes not leaving your frozen frame.

That was when you smelled the tobacco, too. 

“Oh, um,” you cleared your throat before turning your head a bit towards him. You could see from your peripheral vision that he was casually leaning on a wall near the door where you exited, a cigarette between his lips. “I was just leaving.”

He snorted before taking a long drag. “Yeah, sure, like you always do.”

“What?” With eyebrows furrowed, you completely turned to face the very man you had been avoiding all night– the man who had caused you this longstanding emotional turmoil, yet, as it was presented to you, seemed to remain indifferent about it. 

He was donning a black dress shirt with a few top buttons open, paired with his khaki pants and clean white sneakers; his black jacket hanging on his left shoulder. You couldn’t clearly make out his face due to the dim lights, but you noticed his new haircut— fringes now shorter, sides much cleaner— and a faint mustache above his lips. What you could not find, though, was the soft little fat on his cheek that you loved to playfully poke before.

“The hell did you say?” You repeated yourself, albeit shakingly, eyes narrowing at his tall frame. Noah still sported his trademark nonchalant face and clenched jaw like he was in a perpetual photoshoot.

“Nothing.” He huffed out a smoke your way, a sly smile creeping up his lips as his eyes raked over your body– black knee-length dress clinging to your curves, legs exposed to the cold and his lazy eyes. 

Feeling your cheeks heat up, you hugged your jacket tighter around you, as if to protect yourself from the imminent danger that was your ex-boyfriend.

“Since when did you start smoking again?” You cleared your throat, furrowing your eyebrows as you dodged another huff of smoke that he let out. 

Noah once used to, before you started dating, back when you were still just good friends. When he started flirting and spending alone time with you, he realized you couldn’t handle the secondhand smoke to the point that it triggered your asthma, which made him quit cold turkey. 

Perhaps this made total sense now that you’re out of his life.

“Why do you care?” He retorted. “You already lost the privilege to lecture me now, princess.”

There you go.

“Then leave me alone, Noah.” You rolled your eyes before turning to walk away, not wanting to spend your remaining energy and time to deal with his shit— not wanting to give him more chances to scratch on your wound just when it had finally started scabbing. 

But then again, Noah Sebastian was nothing if not for his being straightforward that bordered on crassness.

“I saw you getting cozy with Ruffilo earlier.” He smirked, putting out his cigarette butt with the sole of his sneakers. “You know his fiancée’s there, right? Or is that how you roll these days: going after men you had the easiest access to?”

That comment made you stop walking and snap your head back towards him. You knew he was just saying that to rile you up, but you could now feel anger starting to pulse through your veins.

If not for the small amount of self-control you had left for him, you would have already taken long strides to where he was to slap some sense into his big head. Like you had always wanted to.

But you refused to stoop down to his level, so instead, you stood still, feeling every beat of your heart thrumming against your chest and your mouth going dry as you clenched your jaw hard.

You didn’t say a word for a few seconds. But your eyes, while glazed with frustration, looked into him with pity– searching for any hint on his smug face that would indicate that the man standing a few feet away from you was the same Noah you dated for three years. The same Noah who used to make you laugh with his silly antics; the same Noah who was content to just have you in his arms as he binge-watched his favorite anime shows.

But that alone turned out pointless.

And just when you thought he was done insulting you, he let out a bitter laugh while throwing you a disappointing look.

“Fuck you, Noah,” you muttered with your croaked voice, feeling your eyes water for the second time tonight.

He snickered, clearly having fun taunting you, mirroring what his stupid song had been doing for the past days. “Is that all that you have to say—”

“What the fuck do you want me to say then, huh?”

Noah was completely taken aback with the way you raised your voice to cut him off.

Eyes fuming with anger, you stormed towards his stiffening figure.

“Do you– do you want me to say I regret breaking up with you? That I’m fucking sorry for breaking your heart?” You continued, not even bothering to hide or wipe off the tears that now escaped your eyes.

You could see how Noah’s face slightly softened at the sight of you crying. But at that moment, you just could not give a damn. Because all you wanted to do was to let all your pent-up frustrations out. Something you should have done with him months ago.

“News flash, Noah, leaving you fucked me up, too! It still does, by the way, so fucking much... but you do not see me throwing that at your face, do you?” You heaved out a sigh, trying to calm yourself. “I… I only came tonight to see Nick and our friends—” 

“My friends,” he said under his breath, boldly correcting you as he folded his tattooed arms over his chest. 

You slowly shook your head, laughing bitterly as more tears blurred your vision. “Really now? Your friends? Did you forget I met most of those guys before you made it big in this industry? Before you came into my life?”

Feeling your chest getting heavier, you took in a couple of deep breaths. “And I had to fucking distance myself from them when we broke up because you need them more for your career?”

Noah could see your hands trembling, and a part of him wanted to reach out to you. Calm you down like he always would. But just like what he threw at you earlier, he had also lost that privilege to do so. 

“And that song… that fucking song you had the nerve to write about me and release to the public… Noah, did it ever occur to you that I also needed to hear you say sorry? After every fucking thing you’ve done to me? Didn’t you have any idea how much you hurt me? How much you ruined me? Are you really that stupid and full of yourself?”

“Ruined you?” He sneered, letting out a harsh breath. “May I remind you that it was you who chose to end us, despite my begging? I told you so many times I was sorry.”

“And I told you so many times that your sorry alone would not fix us!” You exclaimed, tears dripping down your chin.

Noah threw his head back, laughing exasperatedly as his voice broke. “I was on my fucking knees. I was willing to change, but you... you just had to become this nasty fucking bitch who refused to give me a chance, who still takes pleasure from my suffering, right?”

At this point, you were full-on sobbing. Biting your quivering lip, tears soaking the collar of your jacket and your dress neckline.

“And how fucking dare you show up here tonight? Catching up with my friends like nothing fucking happened? Expecting I wouldn’t be here?” He sneered, spewing curses like you were just another stranger who pissed him off.

Taking in a sharp breath, you squeezed your eyes shut, silently praying for this to end– for Noah to just let you go.

Coming into this party, you were sure you had prepared yourself for the worst. You had a script in mind, ready for when, or if, you met him. However, what you failed to prepare for was how blatantly hurtful he decided to become. As though everything was your fault, like he had amnesia and completely forgot how he became such a manipulative boyfriend as your relationship progressed.

Void of any emotion, he laughed quietly as he raked his fingers through his hair. “And here I was, thinking you were fucking different from them.”

No one spoke for a while; your sniffles, the muffled noise from the bar, the buzzing of a nearby lamppost, and the moving cars along the street were the only things that filled the silence around you. 

The same silence that he did not know was already ruined by the sound of your heart cracking open again, just when it had finally started to heal. 

You stood there, head hung low, not even knowing what to do next.

It took you some time to finally look into Noah’s cold eyes, trying your best not to falter as you held his distant gaze.

You sighed before speaking softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Did you really think I did all of this... just to hurt you?” 

Noah averted his gaze from your tear-stained face, his jaw ticking at the sight of your flushed skin.

You mentally prepared yourself for another set of his insults, but what you heard next was certainly not the words you wished for.

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “Fucking deal with it.”

###

→ Part 3

P.S.: If you caught the For You by TDWP reference, ily <3

© 2026 paradiiddle | masterlist

[paradiiddle]

idiot pt. 1 [toxicboyfriend!noah]

Noah apologizes (tries to) for his mistakes but what if you’ve finally had enough?

Boyfriend!Noah x F!reader

Content warning: smut, penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex, mild dubcon, angst (ish), manipulation, Noah being an asshole

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: This is one of those fics that I’m not so sure about but still wanna put out. As a sucker for angst, I hope I at least gave this story a bit of justice. Happy holidays, btw!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Everything about this was wrong. 

You weren’t supposed to give in this easily. You weren’t supposed to let him back in, as if he had just returned from another tour across the country. You weren’t supposed to act like everything’s fine between you.

Most of all, you weren’t supposed to spread your legs this quickly for your ass of a boyfriend. Not after admitting to you that while he never cheated the last time he was away, he had shamelessly thought of fucking another woman because you weren’t there to satisfy his needs.

Your reasonable self was not supposed to act like a bitch in heat as soon as he had his lips on you; definitely not after spending two long weeks away, literally thousands of miles from him, in the hopes that he would come to his senses and regret his actions at the very least.

Noah was supposed to ask for forgiveness.

He was supposed to show you how much you meant to him and that he was worth your trust. He was supposed to prove that he was willing to rectify his mistakes, not only to get back with you, but because it’s the right thing to do. 

But maybe sinking his cock into your touch-deprived pussy was his way of doing so.

“Fuck, I missed you, baby.” Grunting wantonly like it was his first time having sex, he buried his face into the crook of your neck, rubbing his pointed nose and placing soft kisses along the column of your throat. “So fucking tight for me.”

Everything happened too fast to your liking. Noah’s travel clothes were still on; he didn’t even bother taking off the baseball cap that he wore backwards on his big ass head. His upper body, still clad in his soft hoodie, was rubbing against your chest, which he bared just by hiking your shirt up.

You couldn't even remember how or when your boyfriend moved you into the bed of your hotel room. You expected to talk to him when he showed his face at your door, but he never gave you the chance when he rushed in to assault your lips with his hungry pair the moment he dropped his luggage on the carpeted floor.

He didn’t even bother asking how you were.

“Noah,” you whimpered, trying to tell him this was wrong, but you let out a sound that might as well be a moan when you felt the deliciously familiar stretch of your pussy— one thing you had obviously missed (and craved so bad) during your time apart.

You didn’t want him to know that, though, and further stroke his ego.

Unfortunately, your boyfriend had memorized your body all too well. He knew the indications: how hard you tend to clench around him; how raw your moans would always sound, especially at his initial intrusion. And the way you would cream the base of his cock in just a couple of thrusts? It was distinctly and very you. 

“I know you missed me.” He took the chance to bottom out while you involuntarily moaned and met his hip movements. “You missed me stuffing you with my dick, yeah?”

“N-no, I didn’t.” 

“Oh yeah?” He gave you another deliberate thrust, trying to prove his point. “I can feel you soaking my balls though, babe.”

You could only gasp as Noah started dragging his shaft along your slick walls, making sure your toes curled with every stroke, with every smack of his pubic bone to your clit. 

“C’mon, tell me you missed me,” he grunted while burying his face into your neck once more, his teeth lightly nibbling on your sensitive skin.

If only it were that easy.

The past two weeks had been hell. Finding yourself alone on the other side of the world, you wished the tropics would at least distract you from the pain. But, as you basked in the sun and sea breeze, all you could think about was him. Even when you were out getting drunk in bars at night, your mind would always drift back to Noah and your last argument before you packed your bags and took the first flight out of LA the next day. You were fuming at his childish behavior as he blamed you for making him entertain thoughts of infidelity, gaslighting you for not coming with him on tour. Both of you were mad, and with Noah being a professional diva, it was impossible then to get your point across.

Despite that, you did not want to break things off, so you chose to leave in the meantime. As soon as Noah realized you were gone, he was in panic mode. At first, you didn’t answer his texts and calls, but on the third day, you gave in and told him where you were and that you two needed some time apart. You expected him to own up to his mistakes and beg for forgiveness right away, but he instead dialed his pursuit down; the fact that you were at least talking to him allowed him to be complacent somehow. So he went on with his rockstar life in LA like nothing had happened. Like you never left. He missed you, sure. But his hectic schedule had him distracted for at least a week.

You certainly wished you had the same privilege.

On the eighth day, the word ‘sorry’ finally tumbled out of his mouth. It was a bland apology— bare minimum even— but you were happy to hear it from him. Your inner self wanted to forgive, but you were far from getting over it. At the very least, his sweet talking swayed you to agree to him coming to you, provided he make up for what he did. 

Which brought you to your current state.

Half-naked Noah Sebastian in your premiere hotel room, hovering over you— stroking both his ego and his cock— attempting to erase your problems and make you forget you were still mad at him.

So much for making up, huh?

“Fuck,” you cried, fingers hurried towards your clit as he picked up his pace. Shameless moans and grunts filled the room together with the lewd sound of your pussy squelching and your sweaty skin slapping.

Noah smirked at how you're biting your lip while aggressively rubbing your clit.

“Sure, you really did not miss me,” he teased, pecking your lips, and you felt a bead of sweat roll down his nose to your flushed skin. “I could literally feel you clenching hard, my love.”

And as if to torture you, he hastily pulled out and pressed your knees up against your chest, exposing more of your creamy folds to him. Before you could even protest, Noah lowered his face towards your core and collected your wetness with one long stripe of his tongue from your hole to your clit. 

That earned him an involuntary erotic moan from your quivering lips, your hands grabbing onto the clean white, albeit crumpled, sheets of your queen-sized bed. 

“Noah,” you gasped as he pecked your clit before plunging back his cock inside you. If there’s one thing you loved about sex with Noah, it’s definitely the way his cock could reach places you once never thought possible.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” As always, he made sure to hit the right spot; his thrusts punctuating his words.

“D-don’t stop, please,” you whined, trying to meet his movements again, but he pinned down your hips, making you groan. “Please, Noah?”

He snickered at your desperation. He dipped his face down to capture your lips in a kiss, but before your skin touched, he paused. A teasing smirk crept up his face; a realization clicked in his mind that made him completely still inside your throbbing core.

“Noah…” You groaned, bringing your fingers to your nub to compensate for the lost sensation. “P-please, baby?”

He swatted your hand away as he swallowed, his chocolate eyes searching for yours. “Forgive me.” 

“What?” You hissed.

A cheeky smile emerged on his stupid face; the current interruption gave you the chance to examine him up close. Two weeks after you last saw each other, a little stubble had grown along his jaw, the fringes that escaped his hat looked longer even after nagging him to get a haircut, and the freckles on his cheeks and nose had become visible from the tropical heat. To top it off, Noah still had the same teasing and loving eyes that could make you fold at any time.

And he sure knew how to use them to his advantage.

“Forgive me… and I’ll make you come.”

Mouth agape, your half-lidded eyes went wide from the sheer audacity. You could still feel his cock throb against your walls as he breathily chuckled.

What a fantastic way to trivialize your emotions. 

“Fuck you,” you muttered while shooting him a death glare. You brought your fingers back to your pulsing clit, but he took the chance to pin your arms above your head.

“My pleasure, baby,” he smugly responded before pushing his hips into you one more time, as if he could still reach deeper. “I could fuck you, yeah, but still would not make you come.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from gasping when you felt the head of his cock hit your cervix. 

“Then get off me, you asshole,” you spat, stuttering and trying to kick him off you, but his thighs instantly caged you in. 

“How many times do I have to say sorry, huh?” His smug voice was barely above a whisper as he brought his lips to your jaw. “I love you, and I only have eyes for you, you know that. Thinking about her was a mistake.” 

That alone made you scoff. And just as you thought it couldn’t get any worse, he again opened his big mouth to continue. 

“I’m just a guy, babe. You understand me, right?”

Tears brimmed in your eyes from extreme frustration— one from being denied mid sex and another from the arrogance and stupidity your boyfriend had the nerve to bring with him all the way from the USA.

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to punch the smirk off his stupid face. You wanted to kick him in the fucking balls so hard that he would no longer even think of sex once again. But with the way he had you restrained under him, all you could do was squeeze your eyes shut and take deep breaths to summon what’s left of your patience.

You still loved the guy, after all. 

And perhaps, that’s the problem. You loved him too much to always see past his mistakes. You loved him too much for your forgiveness to have become so easy to earn. 

Every time you argued, you were the one who always compromised; you were the one who always calmed him down and carefully guided him to make things right. In your three years together, you’d had countless fights, but he only apologized a handful of times. And the sad part was you allowed it, because you believed he always meant well despite his actions.

And now, as he continued to taunt you while denying you your much-needed orgasm, you took another deep breath– deeper than you intended– trying to be firm and reasonable, trying to pay little attention to the pulsing need in between your thighs. 

“N-Noah, do you even hear yourself?”

He gave you an incredulous look. “What? A guy has needs, babe,” he was nonchalant in his answer. You rolled your eyes, silently praying he was joking.

But what he said next hammered the final nail in the coffin.

“If anything, be thankful I still have some self-control.”

Your thoughts came to a screeching halt.

The sliver of hope you had for him disappeared into thin air.

At that moment, you felt something in you snap.

Once, twice, you blinked at him; eyes scanning the conceited look on his face.

It was the same face that once upon a time only held kindness for you. The goofy pretty face you fell in love with.

You felt like throwing up. Goosebumps crawled all over you, your skin going cold and for once, you were sure it was not because of the AC temp. 

You wanted to rip your hair out. You wanted to beg for him to take those words back, but all you could do was look at him hopelessly.

Defeated.

Heartbroken.

How you tolerated his bullshit for three long years was beyond you. 

You scoffed. 

Maybe Noah was right. 

Maybe the problem has always been you.

Tolerant, understanding, stupid you.

You blinked at him again.

Then you laughed. Not quite reaching your eyes.

It was bitter, humorless, but it made him smirk nonetheless, feeling like he finally won the argument. 

Chuckling to himself, Noah wasted no time bringing his lips back to your neck, pulling your shirt up over your head, completely off you, fully baring your perky tits to his hungry eyes. He peppered each of your breasts with small kisses before wrapping his lips around your nipples, hips subconsciously grinding against yours once more. It also did not take long for him to resume dragging his shaft in and out of your core, making sure that he slammed extra hard into you this time.

But amid the grunting and silent curses he muttered while he fucked you, not even once did he notice how hot tears had started to trickle down to your ears, into the soft hotel pillow. You chose to close your eyes and bite your lip to hold your sobs as you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing no matter how hard you tried.

Three years.

Three long years of putting up with him, and you got nothing but emotional manipulation.

Fanfuckingtastic, indeed.

Noah buried his face into your neck as he pumped his cock faster, obviously chasing his own high while being stupidly oblivious to the mess you were in. 

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he mumbled, placing small kisses on your collarbone. “You’re the only one for me. This pussy is made for me.”

And as if it was still not enough for him, Noah suddenly pulled out and turned you over to your stomach. You buried your face into the pillow as he pulled your ass up and opened your thighs with his legs. You could hear him shuffling behind you, discarding his own clothes until he’s fully naked before sliding into you once more.

You could feel he was close with the way his hips stuttered, paired with the sound of his broken grunts. But you couldn’t care less. His cock hitting the right spot might still be making your toes curl and pulling quiet moans from you, but you just wanted to get it over with. 

Get over this emotional torture your boyfriend had put you in.

“I love you,” Noah grunted as he placed a kiss on your hair.

And as you felt spurts of his warm release inside you and his naked torso collapsing against your back, you heaved out a deep sigh against the now damp pillow.

Fat tears still quietly streaming down your face, you choked back another sob before letting out a bitter laugh in the midst of the waterworks.

Because for the first time in a long time, you knew you did not sigh out of frustration.

It was a sigh of relief, you believed.

Because finally, you were just… done. 

###

→ Part 2

—

P.S.: Title inspo below.

© 2025 paradiiddle | masterlist

[dead-astrid]

Matt Dierkes is the most chill, yet territorial person you know sometimes.

18+ mdni, explicit sexual content!

Saw @concretejunglefm repost this pic of Matt in his lil jersey a couple weeks back and that shit has been burned into my brain ever since. Enjoy some thots <3

You’ve worked with Matt and been friends with him long enough to know how serious he can get about work, and how possessive he can be with his things.

And still, you poked the bear. You didn’t mean to, but it happened.

He was supposed to be in the venue, not walking onto the bus where you were doing your best impression of one of his crash outs for the band as a joke.

He didn’t care what you were doing, just that you were wearing his Dallas Stars jersey that he definitely did not give you permission to wear, all of the guys staring at you with “DIERKES” across your back.

The band was shocked when you got wide-eyed and apologized. You were always giving Matt shit, always owning your words and actions even if you were wrong.

They didn’t see it in his eyes, though. You knew you messed up seeing that territorial gaze.

You had the jersey off so fast your crew shirt came halfway up with it, almost exposing your chest.

Matt, ever the professional, kept his cool through that day and the show that night. He even kept it together through the next morning and afternoon as everyone played mini golf for the off day.

That ended when you got to your hotel room afterwards.

You two have shared hotel rooms for a while. You’re such solid friends that no one really questions it (other than the band, who probably knows more than they let on).

There were jokes in the beginning as everyone wondered what was really going on inside those hotel rooms of course, but Matt shut them down.

The funniest part is they were all absolutely right.

Friends with benefits was convenient for you two on tour. Better to get off with someone you know and trust than some random stranger.

It never got in the way of work or your friendship (aside from the insatiable feelings you developed for him) and no one had any reason to question it.

You hadn’t expected Matt to be petty about the situation, but oh, you were wrong.

He went straight for his clothes and pulled the jersey out, throwing it at you with no warning.

“Put it on.”

You started to question him, but it was stuttered and he didn’t let you finish.

No, he stalked right up to you and pinned you down with his eyes alone.

“Take everything else off and put it on.”

No room for negotiation or argument.

So you do. You take off every scrap of clothing you have on, right there in front of him, and pull the long-sleeve on.

“Do you know how hard it was to see you in this and not bend you over that table?”

It clicks then, the way he looked at you the day before.

It wasn’t about the jersey. It was about you in the jersey.

He usually has a little bit of mercy on you even when he gets rough.

This is different, though.

He gloats about neither room on either side of you having any of the band or crew, so none of them will hear him spanking you until your skin is bright red and stinging.

He makes you choke on his dick until tears slide down your cheeks.

He pulls your hair hard enough that your scalp will be sore the next day as he fucks you from behind.

Only briefly does he lay kisses on your shoulder and slow down, your arms shaking while you try to hold yourself up and he leans over you.

“My name looks so good on you.”

“You want everyone to know who you belong to?”

“Should I leave a couple bruises on this pretty neck to claim you? Clearly you wanna brag about it.”

You’re so overstimulated by the time he’s done with you and all you want to do is curl up and sleep.

Matt shocks you when he cuddles up with you, arms around your waist and his forehead resting against yours.

You almost have a heart attack when he kisses you, slow and tender.

It’s against the rules and the boundaries you both decided on when you started doing this.

Nothing too lovey or romantic. Slow and sensual sex is fine, but showering together, kissing. . . It’s “too intimate.”

He never kisses you like this. On your neck and shoulders or chest or thighs, sure, but never your lips.

Never like this.

When he notices you frozen in place, he stops and apologizes. He starts to slip away, but you hold him tight and press your lips back into his.

You’re dizzy when you finally stop for air and Matt’s breaths are shaky.

“You can wear it,” he whispers. “Whenever you want, it’s yours.”

“Matt, I thought we said . . .”

“What’s mine is yours, in this room and outside of it.”

“But the others —.”

“The others can all go fuck themselves,” he cuts you off. “You’re mine and I really don’t care if anyone has a problem with it.”

dividers by silent-stories