They should have stayed in that forest.
Hi! I’m alive, and I have seen the episodes! <3
I just wanna say that I do apologize for my absence, but please consider me as having entered the “chapter 139″ stage of everything. I have really just...pulled myself out of a rough time in my journey and my new life is in full swing. I’ve moved, I got a new job, I graduated, and all this in the span of just a short swathe of months. It’s been incredible.
To be absolutely frank, Levihan and its little fandom got me through some of the roughest times in my life. 2020 sent me into a very bad place mentally, and not just because of the pandemic, but also because of a lot of personal trials in my little world.
When Hange died in the manga during that year, I cried harder than I had ever cried for a fictional character in my life. It legitimately depressed me.
But that was because of how rough life was then, and coping with actual grief was something I had to learn to do. Hange’s death strangely helped me through it on a smaller scale.
The fandom and the friends I made here only helped beyond that. Y’all have been amazing.
After seeing the adaption a few hours ago, I cried again for Hange of course, but this time I didn’t feel an indescribable weight on my chest. It’s strange, but it’s like I moved on and found acceptance. I did move on, and dealing with this character’s death where I am now is so different. It’s normal.
Yes, I still have simple and natural complaints about the storyline and all that, but I am not in the same pit of genuine depression. I can approach this as a form of media and not a security blanket, if that makes sense.
With that said, I am officially moving on from SNK. Not in a “I will never watch or read it again” type of way, but rather in a “I’m not longer obsessing over it” way. It took up almost five years of my life, and was something I utterly fell in love with upon first discovering it.
I think that’s wonderful, and I will never forget it. I will always consider it apart of my repertoire of favorite series, but it will no longer be my focus. That’s okay with me too.
As for Levihan? I’ll always love them and think about them! This unconfirmed canon-only-in-my-heart couple changed my entire view on romantic love at a critical point in my life. They taught me that the closest friendships can be the deepest bonds, and can develop tenderly into something more. I don’t think I’ll ever find a better pair. They truly own my heart.
But I also have to focus on other things, and I don’t mean fandoms, but for right now…I have to chase after my life goals with passion and dedication, which sadly means that I can’t dedicate so much time to screaming about these lovely abnormals <3
This blog will stay up, I promise, and all of my metas, memes, crazy rants, asks, gifs, edits, etc.. will all stick around because those make up an online sketchbook of memories that are very important to me, and that remind me of that time where I was struggling so much in my own life, but found happiness in a colorful little haven of wonderful people. And don’t worry, I think I’ll occasionally stick my head back in and make or write a little something for Levihan just because I love them <3
So, if this sounds like a goodbye, don’t worry—it’s not. I’ll always be checking in every so often, even if once every six months, and even if I fade away completely, I’ll be here in spirit. It’s just time for me to move forward into a new chapter, and I’ll take my love of Levihan with me without a doubt!
Now that also means that this may be my last post for a while, but I first want to thank everyone here for…everything. I know some of you are sadly gone, but those who remain—all my friends, mutuals, the 1000+ people following this blog…all those kind anons that have been checking in and saying encouraging things, asking about where I have been—thank you all.
I love you, and thank you for helping me through such a difficult time in my life. It’s only been a little over two years, but it meant a lot. I see you all, and please don’t worry about me!
I’m sure you’ll all keep this fandom alive and well! I’ll be watching from a little ways away, and always cheering you on!
So, that’s my overly fancy and emotional, “Hi, I may not be as active anymore” note to you all, but I am just so grateful. You guys have no idea how much this time meant to me, and how much these silly manga drawings helped me, haha. I am quite literally not the same person I was before Levihan. That’s just how powerful they are <3
So, this is Gail signing off for a little while! Please remember to take care of yourselves and to dedicate your hearts, my friends! Long live Levihan!!
