Thoughts of a Dying Atheist

taking you on a grand tour of the multiple levels of irony in humor

[adrianshidden]

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

[adrianshidden]

[starlightandtears]

You know that episode of SpongeBob where Squidward is frontin’ like he has a five star, fine dining restaurant because of the competitiveness and sexual tension between him and Squilliam? And Patrick is like “May I take your hat,sir? May I take your hat, sir?” like a weenie?

That’s what customer service is frfr.

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

SpongeBob's understanding and portrayal of customer service was so accurate and advanced. But their portrayal of irritating and/or chaotic customers was also super advanced

you can see the impending inability to be satisfied in his eyes. hes smiling rn but not for long.

u can tell he’s dumb as hell, but also good natured. would bring an expired coupon to the register, but not fight you about it

self explanatory. look at her hair.

self-explanatory -basic baby boomer. always ready to fight, angry before she even gets in the store. tips one dollar. 

a well known causer of chaos. can’t control his emotions. does the sort of stuff you wind up using in “back when i was a waitress” stories that you’ll tell for the rest of your life. definitely the kind of customer that makes a mess in the bathroom. personality: an interesting mixture of the dumb fish and…

this fish who regularly causes riots. 

he’s a danger to everyone. 

[bodysanctuary]

so we just gon ignore “the sexual tension”? okay

[pansexualkiba]

its because op’s right

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

Honestly

[turing-tested]

dogs are incapable of sin

[ymawgat]

but not of mischief !!!

[turing-tested]

you’re right

[turing-tested]

i was looking everywhere in the car for my vape because i lost it and I found these instead

[indiecup--fordeactivation-deact]

I’m astounded at the level of personality that can be predicted from the word vape and these glasses.

[turing-tested]

this is the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me in my entire life but I can’t even argue with this. what could I possibly say to defend myself in this instance. this was a one hit KO. this was a murder. this was a fucking slaughter and I have only myself to blame

[bittersweet-tremolo]

[obviousplant]

Now available at Walmart

[heckboymoved-deactivated2016033]

Our beautiful son.

[adz]

no caption can possibly make this funnier

[soulsingerinasessionband]

happy birthday ole worm

[adz]

happy birthday ole worm

[battmellamy]

@1001141029hey

[gasstationdickpills-deactivated]

unsure-reptile.jpg

[disco-vader]

[the-conquest-of-shred]

2018 mood board

[all-that-once-slithered]

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

[butchdarry-deactivated20180612]

to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance

automobile

changing coolant

changing oil

changing tire

jumping a car

plumbing

toilet running

basement flooding

replace a faucet

clogged drain

electrical

replacing light switches

blew a fuse

installing overhead light

earth vs. neutral vs. live wires

home

patching drywall

finding studs

this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on

[kemurikusa]

[grossaustralian]

anyway here’s wonderwall

[drearyhours]

Vanilla Ice’s Twitter Header shows him holding a game controller posing triumphantly while being met with the steam connection error message on a dual screen setup with an illegitimate copy of windows 10

[euroblog]

Austria, 2015: *has a burning piano of stage* Ukraine, 2018: I see your piano and raise you FUCKING STAIRS ON FIRE WITH A PIANO ON TOP 

[yesterdaysprint]

The Coffeyville Daily Journal, Kansas, May 14, 1896