maybe we should take a trip to jupiter

[ihode]

going on a strict diet of blueberries and tofu, i need to show up pretty…

[ihode]

i haven’t taken pictures of myself in a long while, i’ve been too scared.

[ihode]

walking dates in places long gone

[ihode]

CW: i don't have a personal scale, but it has been around 50-55kg.

i'm not one to follow the number so strictly, i just want to look better for them and in the mirror, and in my clothes.

i'll stick to being petty active everyday and tracking my calories / being in a deficit.

[ihode]

been gone for a while, started planning a new routine to feel worthy again, and to lose weight.

i'll try to keep track of it in my physical notebook, but also maybe use this blog whenever i have the time.

blogging seems like a more productive way to use social media, too.

also started watching Sex and the City.

[dawatcher]

[ihode]

7:00 meditate

8:00 breakfast

8:30 write or film

11:00 yoga

12:00 cigarette

12:05 lunch

1:00 edit

4:00 draw

6:00 dinner

[ihode]

I will show myself when i'm worthy of being looked at.

[ihode]

i miss walking around with you, with them.

[ihode]

I try and try, when is it my turn to be beautiful?

[ihode]

I feel myself getting sicker and sicker again, comparing other's accomplishments to mine and feeling this huge urge to overwork myself both to show how disciplined i can be and how sick i've gotten. I love my friends so dearly, it would be awful to disperse these thoughts and behaviours onto them, so i'll have to do everything in my power not to succumb to this or to hide it very well. I´m tired both of my huge emotions and my clumsy body. The comfort of the hole is substantial, oh to be small in every way.

[ihode]

Nemeth 1994 / Hard Work

[ihode]

Raf Simons A/W 2002 "Virginia creeper" knit

[ihode]

[ihode]

" i don´t know which i fear more, to be remembered or to be forgotten. "

[ihode]

auringonlaskujen kultainen huopa on kauneimmillaan laskettuna meidän ihoillemme kävelessämme joen rantaa keuhkot naurusta tyhjinä rinnat kaipuusta täynnä.

[ihode]

i feel my veins pulsating.

it´s still there.