I Keep Falling For You

This thing between us was instant. I didn't know what "it" was at first, but it was unique and special and exciting and mutual and I was astounded. Then I discovered that It is The Very Big Love. Which leads me to committing - again and again - to protecting and honoring and nurturing this love. My creative side is understandably excited by the opportunity to explore a lifelong "challenge" of this level of importance. This blog is one tiny piece in the expanding puzzle of our relationship. A gift to you to remind you of things about you that I love, to encourage you to accept and love yourself even more, to make you feel good, to share funny things with you... and important things, thought-provoking things, inspiring things, and more. I don't know what this blog will become and I don't need to know. It's evolving just like our delicious, astounding, Gift of a relationship. Obviously... There's More, of Course. Read it Here.

[ikeepfallingforyou]

A pity to ignore this blog

You think I forgot about this site. Because mostly I did. But it surprised me the day it entered our conversation - atypically - and you said you actually do check it sometimes. I loved hearing that. And I had no idea. Of course it also made me sad that I didn’t do more to turn this site into what I’d envisioned.

But you know what? I DO keep falling for you. I won’t be so obtuse as to say this happens Every Single Day, or even every day. But I do. So often. Find myself falling for you again, in new and interesting ways. And sometimes in ways that have become familiar in a good familiar way and not at all in those ways that we like to avoid.

At any rate, now I’m going to help you set up a blog and perhaps reacquainting myself with tumblr - which is where your blog will be hosted, at least for now - will help me remember.

I hope so.

Look! You just walked in the door carrying a sweet lunch for me. Sweet loving man. I adore you so...

[ikeepfallingforyou]

A Spring-Is-Coming Love Letter

Dear Love,

You woke - and soon left for work - quite early this morning. It was one of the stressful ones when it seemed you might have struggled to turn off the mental chatter that won’t let you fully believe that all is okay. I’m learning to try and shut up and let you feel your feelings, as much as I also thrive to encourage you... to support you in feeling good.

This has been a challenging winter. If I weren’t sugar-coating things, I might have written that it’s been a hard winter. Plain and simple. Both are true.

Still, your optimistic lady feels, believes, knows it’s going to be okay. Better than okay. The sunshine is magical that way. Love, too, is magical that way.

It’s not a very exciting letter, but it’s from my heart. The challenges won’t go away. They’re the part of life that make the contrast so yummy. Still, it’s good to know that when we struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel “they’re” always talking about, we have each others’ hand to hold.

[ikeepfallingforyou]

The 2nd day of 2015 - Remembering this site for you

Dear Beloved,

It will be very easy for me to forget about this site, if I don't make a point - and create some constructs for facilitating such - to remember it. And of course I will. I will succeed in finding ways to recall this site because it matters.

You have gone to the office and I am intermittently working and intermittently getting distracted by the internet. Tricky, the balance between working When Your Work Is Housed On The World Wide Web and avoiding the distractions that lie within your workspace.

I will prevail, of course. That, too. Because I must. I want to work better and more efficiently, just as I want to love you better, and be the partner to you that I have declared I want to be.

This morning, after you left for work, I finished reading Adultery. It is not as well-received a book as so many of his others, and yet I understand why he has written this book, and what he is trying to say. It's a book with much to offer you and me, too, if we let it. We do not require the same things, you and I, and yet there are some universals in the Human Condition that remain important to consider. Such as the ease with which lovers can fall into ruts and find ourselves uninspired by routine and repetition. We fell for each other because of many things, including the excitement we each saw in the other. The Human Condition says that we need some amount of excitement in order to feel as alive as we want to be, but we do not necessarily need to look without in order to find that adventure. Adventure and excitement can be what we make it.

This site, even before I read this book, was meant to contribute to that goal. Some days I will not succeed. Some days I will merely share what is on my mind, with you. But some days will be very provocative and inspiring. I am excited to anticipate those days.

Today we have a lot of post-holiday routine to not only return to but also combat. It's a delicious dance: finding the rhythm that feels like home without allowing that rhythm to become dull. I love finding this rhythm with you...

[ikeepfallingforyou]

Your Cards Arrived Today

I'm elated. Fifty completely different images, each with a different message. Some funny. Some encouraging. Some quoting others. It goes on... These took more time than most people would have taken, but every moment spent designing them and pondering what messages I would include was more than worth it. Each minute I spent on them was another minute recalling and pondering how and why I love you so. I have no idea if you'll like this gift. I hope like crazy that at least one more of the gifts I ordered from Amazon shows up tomorrow since the only other (non 50 cards) things I've got here are little and not-particularly-meaningful. One is silly and the other is useful. But for our first Christmas together, I don't know...

But I'm banking on the fact that I observe you to be a sentimental romantic, among many other distinctive qualities. It's that side of you that these cards will appeal to. I figured I'd put some on here for you because the end result is quite small. You're most definitely going to need your readers before you look at these!

Now you're likely on your way home from work, or will be soon. Perhaps I'll get a bit more work done. More posts for and about you soon!

[ikeepfallingforyou]

Trying not to shove my self-help book down your throat

I'm reading a book that I want you to read. It's clear: I've said so to you. Although I'm not even finished with it!

It's not a thing I intend to do ceaselessly - although I often want to share books I read, I try to curb the urge to push them on others. Still, this one book, once I'm finished and perhaps once I've read it again, or at least reviewed and recorded the salient points, seems like something that has the capability of adding a bit of joy to your life, too. After the heavy stuff, that is. The work. These books always require a bit of work, don't they?

So this quote above is by the author of the book. I should prolly include the link here to the book, shouldn't I? It's called The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level. So there you have it. Or you could visit thebigleap.net. That's also available.

Mostly I just wanted to use this quote and add my pretty graphic for you. But it's certainly related and so I thought I'd mention it again here. If you consider reading the book, we can discuss it. Then I'll do everything I can to hold off on pushing my books on you... for at least a month or two! xo

[ikeepfallingforyou]

Building a simple website instead of working

You asked me this morning what I had planned for today. I told you of the primary projects on my work agenda and that I need to go grab something from the supermarket, too, since my sister he dis coming over for lunch. I didn't mention that some of my Christmas presents to you need some attention, as well.

Like this one.

So it's 9:20am and I haven't been to the store yet. Nor have I worked for the clients. But check it out! You now have a shell of a website. All I have to do now is point the domain here and voila; the deed will be done. Only what if I don't want to point the domain straight here? What if, instead, I want to point the domain to a page on my site where I will set up a number of "portals" that then point to other places? And this blog turns out to be merely one of those places. Those Online Destinatons, if you will.

Oh baby... it's a good thing you love me. If I turn this blog into the think I imagine myself turning it into, you'll know even more of the depths of my mind. sometimes a good thing. But that's also where my neuroses live.

Best not to think about that just now. I've got some things to check off a growing list.

But see? Now your website has a bit of content! And that's never a bad thing...

[ikeepfallingforyou]

A little fear: on keeping the lines of communication open, regardless

Because I have this "Pollyanna disaposition" and you have a bit more anxiety than some, this concern has crept into my mind. It goes something like this: I encourage you and encourage you and say happy, peppy, uplifting things... and you start to feel you can't be honest with me. Because you don't want to let me down.

Let's please try to avoid that trap. It's good for me to be reminded sometimes that there are days when someone just needs to let off steam, vent, express fears, and so on and so forth.

Does this concern mean I'm going to temper my positivity and encouragement? Hayell no! This is me: the me you fell for. I work, as consistently as possible, to fill my mind with thougths that are more encouraging than discouraging. And I believe in this approach to life. I believe the assertions that what we dealt with in our past is much less relevant than the way we choose to handle the present and the future. These principles have improved the quality of my life considerably in the past few years and I've read too many stories of people whose lives have been improved by paying attention to the messages they allow into their minds... not to know how much it matters. As a result, I will do whatever I can to make sure more positive messages than not come from me to you.

But if you're ever having the kind of day that just needs to process the ick, it's cool to (gently and lovingly, of course,) remind me that you need to just feel how you feel. Don't close yourself off to me. The connection between us matters more than anything. The more we connect and communicate honestly and openly, the stronger our connection will grow. Seems to me that's one of the foundational principles on which this relationship is being built. And I really love the way that feels.