It&#x27;s Ike

Text: I'm sorry.

Text: Why?

Text: It’s okay. You do… what you need to do.

Text: Keep an eye on Zeke for me, yeah? He’ll need it.

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Zeke wanted to shove Ike away, to tell him to just leave if he was going to leave. Just go. Do it. Break me. I wasn’t ever what you wanted anyway! But he couldn’t do it. He swallowed hard and reached up, grabbing Ike’s face with both his hands and kissed him, hard, and for much longer than was proper. As the kiss ended he stayed close, still holding the boys face. “Now you listen to me, and you remember this; I never wanted to fix you. I wanted to support you while you figured out how to be happy with yourself. Go now… Go be happy.” He dropped his hands and kissed him quickly one last time then turned away. He couldn’t watch Ike walk out the door, he just couldn’t.

Ike knew he was going to cry, he was going to completely break down, it was only a matter of when at this point. He kissed him back, giving everything he could before he willingly gave it up. “I’ll miss you,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around Zeke from behind and then pulling away completely. He felt like he couldn’t breathe as he hurried from the apartment, not stopping his movements until he was outside the castle. He rounded a corner and then pressed his back against the cold concrete, unable to catch his breath as he broke down.

Text: I'm sorry.

Text: Why?

Text: Leave? Oh… um… okay. Well… be safe.

Text: I’m sorry.

Text: I'm sorry.

Text: Why?

Text: Goodbye? What do you mean, goodbye?

Text: I’m going to leave. I got to try and fix some things, make it better again.

Text: I'm sorry.

Text: Why?

Text: I can’t give you a proper good-bye.

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

“You better,” Zeke said, holding Ike close to his chest so that the sub wouldn’t see the red in his eyes or the way his lips quivered as he fought back his emotions. Who would stop him now? There was no one left. Now, he really would be just the monster everyone thought he was. No Ike to show the world he wasn’t all bad, that he had a soul. He could almost feel himself hardening, his heart shrinking, his body tensing agains the pain he knew he’d have to fight for a long time, alone. “You should go pack, probably….I think you have some clothes here and… Anything else you want to take. It’s yours. Whatever you want.”

Ike shook his head, not wanting to think about this anymore. “I packed. Knew it was going to be hard.” There was so much he wanted to say, but Ike had never been good with words. He and Zeke had such horrid communication, but he hadn’t expected this to hurt so much. “I’m sorry,” he said, kissing along his neck and shoulder, his hands moving beneath his shirt, exploring the man before him. “I’m sorry you couldn’t fix me like you wanted. I’m so sorry, for everything.”

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Zeke closed his eyes and tried to remember Ike’s lips on his skin, make some kind of permanent memory of this moment, because he knew he’d never see Ike again. He wouldn’t come back. He’s find the right person, because Ike was a good sub and an amazing person, so loving and caring and so smart. He couldn’t think of anything to say so he just hugged Ike tighter and kissed his hair. “I’ll always care, don’t be afraid to call and ask for anything. And…” He let loose a hand and grabbed for his wallet on the side table, making Ike lean with him as he stretched to reach it. He pulled out all the cash he had, seemed like five hundred dollars or so and stuffed it in Ike’s jeans pockets. “…be safe.”

Ike had never thought of himself as an emotional person. He knew he was more likely to get angry or yell, but not cry. He felt like he could now and fought to hold it in when he watched Zeke give him the money. He didn’t want to take it, but he knew his aunt could probably use it. He tried to take a deep breath, but caught a sob instead and he had to mentally force himself to relax so he wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t break down in front of Zeke. “I’ll call you,” he promised him, unwilling to let go of his body until Zeke made him.

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

“Who’s pushing?” Zeke sighed and wrapped his arms around Ike’s shoulders, holding him close. “Do what you need to do. If the time comes and you have no one else, you call me, no matter what. You will not rot away in some cell, no matter what. But you go find what makes you happy.” It hurt. It hurt so badly but he wouldn’t hurt Ike by letting him know. Not now. Not ever. “Everything will be fine.”

“I know you,” Ike said softly, kissing the underside of his jaw and then his throat. “I’ll call you,” he promised, closing his eyes as he tried to decide if he was doing the right thing. “I’m sorry I haven’t been better, happier, with you, but I know you did help me in a lot of ways. I’m really thankful that I’ve met you.” He kissed the skin he knew so well, not wanting to forget his taste for an instant.

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Zeke was still confused, and a little insulted that Ike didn’t think he was capable of helping him. “For a while or for forever?” He didn’t actually want to know the answer to that at all. “Doesn’t matter. Do what you have to do, Pet. Make yourself happy. Be safe,” he said, forcing the words out. What would he do now? He’d be alone. Completely alone.

“I want to come back to you,” Ike said softly, keeping his body close to Zeke’s, even though he could feel that he was doing all of this wrong. “I want to, but I’m not going to make promises I can’t keep either.” He leaned forward, kissing Zeke’s lips and letting them linger before pulling back. “I can’t be yours with how I am now. We both know that. I don’t think I can be anyone’s.” He wrapped his arms around his neck and closed his eyes, “Don’t push me away right now. Please?”

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Zeke narrowed his eyes in confusion and nodded, still completely lost as to where this was going. “If you need a break from our …arrangement, that’s no problem…”

“It’s not that,” Ike shook his head, trying to find the right words, but knew they weren’t going to come. “I, um, I called my aunt. I sort of told her the same stuff I’ve told you... about my dad,” he kicked his foot against the floor, and stepped into the warmth of Zeke’s body. “She thinks it might be a good idea to leave for a while, try and fix things? Fix things so I can be okay with submitting and not be scared of you or how you make me feel.”

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Zeke watched Ike, confused by his behavior. The subs tone made it clear that this wasn’t a happy, casual visit. Zeke leaned against the back of the couch, his face growing with concern, though he tried to hide it. “What’s wrong, Pet?”

Ike wrung his hands nervously, wary of Zeke’s response and not wanting him to be more upset than Ike already felt. “I, um, I think we both know that there’s things I need to fix... and figure out,” he said slowly, his gaze on the ground, “Just like, with me, and being afraid all the time. Afraid of turning into my parents or whatever?”

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Zeke answered, still in his clothes from working out, sweaty and smelly. “Hey, Pet. Come in,” he said, rather cheerfully, his work out having cleared his mind a bit.

Ike stood up and walked into the apartment, looking around for a moment before walking over to Zeke. He didn’t care that he was smelly or sweaty, he just needed him for a little bit. “I want to talk about me,” he said, scrunching up his brow at how that sounded, “Um, things.”

Text: Sir, can I come over for a couple minutes?

Text: You may. I found us a third for Homecoming. She’s new.

Ike didn’t respond to the text, but instead made his way over to Zeke’s apartment. It was still before curfew, so he had time, but there was still something he needed first. At his door, he kneeled and knocked, hoping Zeke would answer soon.