Larry Zbyszko was smug, a braggart, cheated each and every time the opportunity presented itself, and never ran out of things to say to anger fans. In short, he was one of the greatest heels in wre…

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Larry Zbyszko was smug, a braggart, cheated each and every time the opportunity presented itself, and never ran out of things to say to anger fans. In short, he was one of the greatest heels in wre…
I was 12 years old the first and only time my dad took me to the “World Famous” Sportatorium in Dallas. I had no idea I’d finish the night as one of the biggest heels in the building.
Verne Gagne built the AWA into one of the most successful pro wrestling promotions in the history of the industry. Then, he got sideways with Hulk Hogan and it all came crashing down.
The Pacific Northwest Championship is symbolic of heavyweight supremacy. Right now, I’ve got it and I’m damn proud of it! – Dutch Savage Before Vince McMahon began his national pu…
Chavo Guerrero, crying about how “I spent two years of my life away from my family to achieve winning this belt in Tokyo, Japan.” Well, Chavo, like the saying goes, “A fool loses …
Ahahaha! You shoulda seen what the Cuban Assassin and I did to Archie Gouldie and Steven Pettipas last week! We beat ’em up so bad! Now they have the nerve to wanna have a street fight? Well,…
“Moolah has seen her day. They couldn’t even put her face on a can of dog food to sell it and she knows it!” – Wendi Richter Captain Lou Albano was on a plane to New York, h…
Today’s Heels Could Learn A Lot From Larry Zbyszko
I decided to get IllegalForeignObject.com back up and running. Give me a read! I swear to every last one of you, I know where a semicolon belongs!
I am Professional Wrestling’s living legend. I don’t care about you people, Billy Robinson or his Empire Championship. 1001 holds? I have 1001 records from coast to coast! I am number one! — “The Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko
I absolutely loathed “The Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko when I was a kid. He was smug, a braggart, cheated each and every time the opportunity presented itself, and topped…
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The death of the AWA could have been avoided
By the late-80s, after years of declining interest, subpar rosters, and an inability to change with the times, the American Wrestling Association (AWA) was all but dead in the water, ultimately shutting down in 1991.
Did it have to be that way? Had Verne Gagne, rather than digging in his heels, gotten with the times (or hired someone to get with the times for him), would the AWA have had a puncher’s chance at not only surviving, but thriving into the 90s and beyond?
When the AWA thrived
From the early 60s into the late-70s, the AWA was a very successful wrestling promotion. Verne Gagne, an amateur wrestler and alternate on the ‘48 U.S. Olympic Team not only ran the promotion, but was its most recognizable champion. From August 1960 to May 1981, Verne held the AWA World Title 10 times for a total of 4,677 days (almost 13 years).
During that era, Gagne took his promotion from a local Minnesota show and expanded into several large markets, including Chicago, San Francisco, Denver and Las Vegas. His success in this area made the AWA an extremely popular ticket, and his live shows regularly brought crowds by the thousands.
“I want my MTV”
Then the 80s happened.
The “everything, all the time, right now” generation had no time for time. Don’t wanna sit through a 12 round fight? “Iron” Mike Tyson knocks everyone out in under three rounds! NBA games too slow? Have no fear, the “Showtime” Lakers are here!
Gone were the days when you could keep a kid’s attention for more than three minutes; Nintendo, Coca-Cola and Hostess made sure of that.
In the 60s and 70s, pro wrestling venues were smoke-filled, darkly lit and full of an older demographic. When the 80s rolled around, young, loud, hopped up on cocaine and stuffed with TV dinners, Verne wasn’t prepared.
Prior to Vince McMahon’s talent raids, the AWA boasted some of the biggest names in the business. Consider that in 1984, WWF’s number one babyface (and biggest name in the history of the industry), Hulk Hogan, number one manager (and arguably greatest manager of all time), Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, number one color commentator, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, and number one announcer, “Mean” Gene Okerlund had all been, just a short time prior, under the employ of the AWA.
What if Verne had employed someone capable of marketing Hogan the way Vince and the WWF were able to do for the better part of the 80s and early 90s? What if he’d worked with Hogan on merchandising, rather than trying to steal from him by selling his shirts at shows while Hulk was away on a Japanese tour? What if he hadn’t gone out of his way to keep the belt off Hogan, actually going so far as to say he wasn’t good enough to carry the AWA Title? Finally, what if Verne hadn’t angered Hogan enough to where, once Vince came calling, he was more than willing to not only jump ship, but do so without finishing up his scheduled dates with the AWA?
How much different does the first WrestleMania look without Hogan in the Main Event? Does WrestleMania 1 even take place without Hogan on the WWF roster?
Greg Gagne wasn’t the answer
Verne’s stubborn nature (Greg Gagne’s words, not mine) cost the promotion dearly when it came to the acquisition and retention of marketable talent, forcing the promotion to rely on burly animals like The Crusher and Mad Dog Vachon, men who could draw a promotion all kinds of money in the 60s and 70s, but were dinosaurs in the eyes of the glitzy 80s fan. Beer bellies and cigar breath simply would not cut it.
Sure, the AWA still had a contingent of diehard wrestling fans, many of whom attended every local show possible, but selling a guy a program and a beer is night and day to selling a guy a program and a beer, while selling his kids t-shirts, action figures and foam fingers. This is where I believe Gagne was greatly in need of someone to put a fresh set of hands on his product, and by ‘someone’ I don’t mean his goof of a son, Greg.
Hulkamania ran wild…away from Verne
Consider that had Hulk and Verne been able to work together the way Hogan ultimately did with Vince, the AWA would have been all but set (creatively, at least). In Nick Bockwinkel, Larry Zbyszko, Col. DeBeers and later, Curt Hennig, the AWA was loaded with main event level heel talent, all of whom had quality promo skills and could work circles around most in the ring. Hogan was a superhero, his job was to look unbeatable. Surrounding him with these four pros, men capable of bumping all around the ring for him while retaining every last bit of their heat, would have carried the promotion for years.
Plus, without Hogan, would Vince have had the leverage to buy off television stations, preventing them from airing other promotions shows? Who was Vince’s second choice had Hogan not gone to New York? Would he have stayed in-house and tried to go national with Jimmy Snuka or Sgt. Slaughter? Would he have looked to another promotion, possibly WCCW and Kerry Von Erich? Whatever he would have decided, the WWF roster would have looked (and sounded) decidedly different.
What might have been for the AWA
If WCW taught us nothing else, it was that the market would bear two successful promotions. Even ECW, using mostly smoke and mirrors (and a lot of Vince’s kickback money) was able to thrive in the 90s as a somewhat viable third promotion. Certainly, with proper management and greater attention to what fans wanted to see, the AWA could have just as easily been in this mix. Fans like having options, and history has proven time and again that with competition, all involved up their game making for a better overall product.
There is no doubt Verne Gagne should be remembered for all he did for professional wrestling. Not only did he run a successful promotion for more than 30 years, he also trained some of the biggest names the industry has ever known, including Iron Sheik, Ricky Steamboat, Curt Hennig and “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. His immense contributions to wrestling cannot be overlooked.
That’s what made his inability to move with the changing climate rather than becoming resistant to it so frustrating. Verne’s knowledge could have been useful to so many other future performers. Unfortunately, for him, for the fans, for the industry as a whole, it wasn’t meant to be.
Pro wrestling is fine; pro wrestling fans need work
Gentle reader, I’m an old man. At 40 years of age, I’m proud to say I can claim 33 years of love and adoration for the awesome spectacle that is professional wrestling.
During this long run as a fan, I’ve seen plenty of would-be legends, plenty of true blue legends, plenty of technicians, high flyers, grapplers, monsters, and superheroes. I’ve seen some of the best talkers the world has ever known. I’ve seen bump machines, spot monkeys and monsters. I’ve seen little people and I’ve seen giants. Pro wrestling comes in thousands of different shapes and sizes, has thousands of different voices, and based on everything I’ve seen, I feel safe in saying I still haven’t seen it all.
That’s the true beauty of pro wrestling for me. Just when I think I’ve got it all figured out, it throws me a curveball that buckles my knees and completely surprises me. It’s why I continue to watch, even with the knowledge I’m no longer the target demographic of the largest wrestling, ersports entertainment company in the world.
“Perfect” doesn’t exist
From time to time, I’m as guilty as anyone of being too judgmental, despite my continued efforts to avoid acting in such a way. I don’t know why it is, but we pro wrestling fans are entirely too nit-picky about the things we see and hear on television each week, aren’t we? There are millions of us watching each week; we’re not all gonna get to see exactly what we want all the time, yet we remain a whiny bunch. We’re all seeking this mythologicalperfect show, as if such a thing ever existed. Go back and watch some old ECW or Attitude Era WWE programming. There was a ton of filler on those shows too. My point is, there’s no such thing as “perfect”.
I do my best to remind myself to sit back and enjoy the ride a little bit more. I mean, it’s pro wrestling; it’s okay to not take it so damned seriously. Personally, I don’t ever wanna see The Great Khali come back and wrestle again, but I guarantee you, somewhere in the world right this second is a person who thinks that dude has “one more run with the strap” in him.
There are plenty of people out there perfectly happy seeing Brock Lesnar work 10 days a year.
Someone in reading this article while rocking a homemade Tamina Snuka t-shirt.
The thing many of you find objectionable about pro wrestling is the very thing that makes it so great: there’s something for everyone.
Championships aren’t participation trophies
For months I’ve read complaints concerning WWE’s supposed indifference to anyone not named Roman, Braun or Brock.
“KO’s being wasted!”
“It’s Nakamura’s time!”
“Finn Balor is being buried!”
“Anderson and Gallows should go back to Japan!”
Folks, not everyone is meant to carry a championship and they shouldn’t be treated like participation trophies. Try and remember, as much as you might love a particular wrestler, as popular as they might be, that does not guarantee them a title run. Hell, when I was 10 years old, I thought Billy Jack Haynes shoulda been headlining WrestleMania III against Andre the Giant. See how wonderfully silly wrestling fandom can be?
Fans, find positives rather than dwell on negatives
Pro wrestling is doing just fine. It’s arguably doing better than it’s ever done before, at least from the standpoint of variety. There are a multitude of successful promotions all across the globe, most of them now just a click away thanks to the greatness of online streaming services. WWE too kid-friendly for you? Try NJPW or ROH on for size. New Japan gotten too “mainstream” for you? Pro Wrestling NOAH and AJPW are there for the consuming. Don’t like watching yoked up monsters wrestle? Give Dragon Gate a look. Progress, DDT Pro, Stardom, Impact, and a whole host of other promotions offer streaming services to showcase their particular brand of pro wrestling as well.
Rather than showing up every Monday and Tuesday to complain about what you’re not getting from WWE, find a promotion more to your liking and rep the hell out of it. It’s a far better use of your time and energy.
@ifowrestling
Bret Hart’s Bitterness Has Turned Him Into A Punchline Bret “Hitman” Hart is one of the very best of all time. His in-ring skill and understated charisma perfectly suited his “best there is, best there was, best there ever will be” catchphrase. However, with his sour, shouting-at-clouds post-career attitude, has Bret Hart, a man who prided himself in making us believe in the serious side of pro wrestling, made himself a punchline? From ‘92 through most of 1997, Vince McMahon gave Bret Hart one of the best runs in WWF/E history. Whether he was working as a babyface against Yokozuna, Jerry Lawler, his brother, Owen, or as a heel against Shawn Michaels or Steve Austin, Hart was always positioned as “the man”; until it was time for him to no longer be “the man”. It was at this point when Bret Hart seemingly lost the whole damn plot and started believing his gimmick a bit too much. So, does Bret Hart, after so many accomplishments, after a two decade career in which he won every last title you could possibly win, after being paid so much money (and at least as many compliments), still feel the need to belittle so many? The unending shots on Eric Bischoff, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Hulk Hogan, Goldberg, Seth Rollins, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Vince McMahon, blah blah blah blah blah… It’s all really pathetic, honestly, and it’s long been enough already. Let it go, Bret. “The Excellence of Execution” is a wealth of wrestling knowledge, someone capable to putting together a match better than just about anyone in the history of the industry. Imagine having him working with the men and women in NXT? What an amazing resource he could be for all those up-and-coming wrestlers. Through them, his legacy could live on long after he’s gone. Instead, he’s too busy rehashing slights from two decades ago. Say what you will about guys like HHH and Bischoff, but they’re not crippled by their pasts. His latest bit of pettiness is yet another shot at Bischoff, saying, “Bischoff is an idiot; a total, complete idiot. Maybe the single stupidest idiot that ever got into wrestling”. No, unfortunately, that wasn’t a quote from an 8 year old, and with each of these diatribes, Bret further damages his own image. There is no doubt Hart has suffered a great deal of loss throughout his life. He watched his parents struggle mightily to keep their Stampede Wrestling promotion afloat during some extremely trying financial times. He’s seen many of his closest friends go down dark and lonely paths of abuse and violence, some of whom lost their lives far too early. He lost his brother Owen to a freak accident that took him from the world far too soon. He suffered a stroke. Yes, Bret has endured his share of bad times, but the way in which he’s chosen to cope has manifested itself into something altogether sad. Perhaps it’s jealousy that eats at Bret; to see so many of the people he dislikes be so, well, happy? HBK has found contentment, Hunter is basically running the show in WWE, Bischoff has a very popular podcast (and a number of interests outside pro wrestling), Vince is still the most powerful man in the industry, and Hulk Hogan (for better or worse) will always be Hulk Hogan. Pro wrestling went ahead and carried on just fine without Bret. Why without him? Because he made that choice. He took himself “out of the game”, forgetting he was little more than a spoke on the wheel. Perhaps he’s content in his negativity? If so, carry on wayward Hitman, but do so with the knowledge that a high percentage of the very fans you worked so hard to entertain now view you with rolled eyes and a shake of the head. I’m quite sure that’s not how Bret saw things playing out.
Today’s Heels Could Learn A Lot From Larry Zbyszko I absolutely loathed “The Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko when I was a kid. He was smug, a braggart, cheated each and every time the opportunity presented itself, and topped it all off by never running out of things to say to make fans despise him. In short, he was one of the greatest wrestling heels in the history of ever and doesn’t get nearly enough credit for his genius. Underrated Genius I’ve been watching pro wrestling for over 30 years and during that time, I’ve seen few wrestlers I’ve wanted to choke more than Larry Zbyszko. Yet, when it comes time to start naming some of the greatest bad guys to ever lace up the boots, fans and experts alike are quick to throw out names like “Nature Boy” Ric Flair and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Both men entertained me for more hours than I could ever begin to count, but as great as they were, they each retained the same redeeming quality: Ric and Roddy were hilarious. Sure, they did some awful things, but they were almost so charming in how terrible they were being, I couldn’t help rooting for them. With Larry Zbyszko, that sort of thing was never an issue. I never did anything but hate that dude and I’m quite sure he’d be pleased to know that. No Cheering, Spudhead! There simply wasn’t a thing about Larry that made you cheer for him. He wasn’t a cool “shade of gray”, he wasn’t trying to impress the crowd with his wit and in-ring ability; he was just a complete prick. Watching Larry’s old matches now, I marvel at how well he worked a crowd. When I was a kid, I wanted to punch him in the face every single time he’d stall on the outside of the ring, roll back in, then right back out to stall some more. It was infuriating stuff. So good was he at being a heel, I’ve heard there were even wrestlers who would get angered at his in-match antics. When you’re getting the guy in the ring with you to lose it, you’re really doing work! Zbyszko did everything he could to be a despicable human being, and regardless of how ‘smart’ you thought you were to the business, he still found a way to reel you in. Old School Will Always Be Cool I’m a bit too young to have seen “The Living Legend” in the WWWF, but his feud with Bruno Sammartino is legendary. Universally abhorred (with heat as white hot as you can get it), Zbyszko really took off when he turned on the popular babyface and mentor Sammartino, attacking him with a chair, leaving him bloody and broken in front of thousands of hardcore Bruno fans. This set the stage for a feud that accounted for many sell out crowds throughout 1980, culminating in their most famous match together, the Shea Stadium Steel Cage Match in which Bruno finally got his revenge in front of more than thirty six thousand fans. I’m most familiar with Larry Legend’s work in the AWA and NWA/WCW. As a kid growing up in East Texas, I was afforded a good many wrestling options on my television each week. Everything from World Class to Mid-South, WWF to NWA could be seen weekly thanks to superstations like USA and TBS, and a local channel out of Dallas, KXTX. When you consider the talent those promotions sported during the early to late-80’s, it’s more than a little overwhelming. Many of the all-time greats were plying their craft at the highest of levels then, and I had the honor of seeing them all. I got up close to The Freebirds, Jimmy Garvin, The Four Horsemen, Bobby Heenan, and countless other heels, but none of them elicited a hate from me like the hate I felt when I watched Larry Zbyszko. If you’ve never yelled at your television screen, then you don’t really know how much fun it can be to get totally taken in by a wrestling bad guy. Larry Zbyszko was that guy for me. Larry Legend Is The Measuring Stick I wonder, if more of today’s wrestlers were willing to go that extra mile at being a heel, placed more emphasis on being legitimately hated, could wrestling reclaim a bit of what’s been lost since fans decided it was cooler to be a jerk than to be a superhero? I know times have changed, but I still say there’s a place for the bad guy who just wants to be a loathsome character. Jinder Mahal and Tommaso Ciampa are do a great job being just that, although wrestling fandom has changed so dramatically, I’m not sure they’ll ever truly be appreciated for their level of brilliance. Perhaps it’s just a sign of the times, but I believe many of today’s wrestlers would do themselves an enormous favor to go back and watch as much of Larry Zbyszko’s work as they can possibly find. The WWE might not ever go out of its way to tell the ‘Universe’ how amazing “The Living Legend” was, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t.
Is Braun Strowman "the one", or just the next one you'll turn against? Braun Strowman is a captivating giant of a man. His size, charisma, and believability are everything Vince McMahon positively salivates over, all but ensuring the trajectory of his career is pointed in but one direction: up. Braun Strowman also has the WWE Universe in the palms of those grizzly paws he calls hands. He is universally loved, our boundless adoration growing with each flipped semi truck, each complete obliteration of whomever WWE pits against him, each short and sweet “GET THESE HANDS!” style promo. Sports Entertainment Détente? “The Monster Among Men” is everything the fans want in “the man”. With it becoming increasingly rare the times when both Vince McMahon and the IWC agree on a “top guy”, one can only assume this will be a glorious “time of peace”, one that will directly coincide with a substantive push of Strowman’s character. Right? Sadly, probably not… With Braun now all but guaranteed a run at the top of WWE, the question is not how long before he’s wearing championship gold, but rather, how long before you all turn on him the way you’ve turned on so many other wrestlers you once cheered? How long before the very thing you love about Braun becomes the thing you openly mock on Twitter, all in the name of “likes” and “retweets”? How long before Braun becomes a “one trick pony”, a “terrible promo”, a “guy who does the same thing every match”? How long before Braun becomes the latest wrestler Vince is “shoving down your throat”? You’re nothing if not predictable Make no mistake about it, you will turn against Braun, because you’ve done it so many times before. Once upon a time, you loved John Cena. Don’t deny it because you know you did. When Cena was spewing those corny bars and chasing gold, you loved him. Then he won gold and went on to become the biggest name in wrestling since “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Cena hasn’t been able to do anything right in the eyes of the almighty Twitterverse since. Roman Reigns is currently suffering a similar fate to that of Cena. When he was a member of The Shield, murking dudes like Undertaker and squaring off against a reformed Evolution, Roman was just fine by you. Sure, he didn’t have the “indie charm” of Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose, but he was intense as hell, hard-working, and what he lacked in experience he more than made up for in charisma. Vince heard those cheers, saw those merchandise sales numbers, stared deeply into The Big Dog’s smoldering eyes (dude, don’t say shit to me about this, you know his eyes smolder like a mutha), and attached the rocket to him. And then, you booed. Point of fact: nothing about the work ethic or desire of John or Roman has changed since those early days. What changed was your attitude towards them being rewarded for their efforts. You love these guys on the way up the ladder, then complain about them once they finally reach the top rung. “They’re overexposed!” Fine, then what about when a top guy isn’t overexposed? What about when he goes away for a long stretch? Is he welcomed back with open arms by the tweeting masses? Ask Dave Batista about that. Better still, ask Dwayne Johnson. People, you booed The Rock when he came back. The effin’ Rock! The only dude capable of claiming to have been as hot as Steve Austin during your beloved Attitude Era. That dude is rich beyond any of our wildest dreams, had absolutely nothing to gain from coming back to WWE, and still set aside large swaths of time over the course of two years to entertain us. Why? Because he loves pro wrestling. But there many of you were, chiding him for having a few bullet points scribbled on his arm for a pivotal promo in an angle designed to entertain you. Well done, Internet. If you’re an “overexposed” main event wrestler, you’re getting booed. If you’re a “part-timer” coming back, you’re “taking ‘the spot’ of someone more deserving”. These men and women of extreme achievement cannot win with most of you, which makes all the more sense why they put very little stock in your opinions. But, please, by all means, carry on screaming into the void. Is Braun different? When does “the monster among men” get his turn in your grinder? When does all the hard work he puts in, all the town-to-town travel, all the late nights and early mornings, no longer mean anything to you? Does he have another week before you turn against him? Another month? Maybe he needs to become WWE’s new marketing hood ornament before your vitriol washes over social media? Perhaps he’ll make it to the Road to WrestleMania before your daggers come out en masse? You see, gentle reader, it is not a question of “if”, it’s a question of “when”. When will you, once again, show yourself to be short-sighted, small-minded, and petty? When will you take yet another thing designed to be fun, and piss all over it? Or, is Braun Strowman really “the one”.
WWE doesn’t (and shouldn’t) care about your opinion
Roman Reigns is a main event superstar. You’re welcome to hate this, but it doesn’t dismiss it as fact. So, why is Roman a main eventer if you boo so loudly? Why is he “The Big Dog” when:
“Roman’s promos aren’t that great.”
“Roman can’t wrestle.”
“Roman is the worst member of The Shield.”
It’s really quite an easy thing to answer. Roman is “the man” because Vince McMahon says so, and history has shown that most of you who complain each week will return the following week to complain some more. Hell, you’ve been booing John Cena for over a decade, and there he remains, the biggest name in the industry.
Opinions are like…
Regarding the three previously posted negative statements made about Roman, they are widely held #WrestlingTwitter opinions. Opinions are neither right nor wrong, because they’re just opinions. My opinion on something might be completely different from yours, but it doesn’t automatically dismiss either of them simply because they don’t align. Why? Because our opinions as wrestling fans don’t really matter all that much. We’re certainly welcome to have them, but don’t think just because you’re convinced of something it automatically makes it gospel.
Five star matches barely matter
I saw several people on Twitter this week complaining about Lana’s first win.
“She’s not talented!”
“Other women are better wrestlers.”
“She doesn’t deserve to be in the Money In The Bank match.”
Again, opinions…
The facts are, Lana has consistently gotten a huge crowd reaction, regardless of what WWE has tried to do with her. Accent? Huge crowd pop. No accent? Huge pop. Accent again? Still popping the crowd. Heel? Babyface? Managing? Wrestling? Pop, pop, pop, pop, good people of the Internets.
Send in the clowns
It seems far too many fans don’t actually understand what they’re watching. Try and think of a WWE show like a three-ring circus. At a circus, you might get some clowns, a high wire act, a strongman, and if you’re lucky, someone might even stick their head in a lion’s mouth. The circus offers a variety of things, efforting to cast a net wide enough to grab the attention of as many people as possible. WWE is no different. Not every segment of a WWE show is tailored specifically to you. It is a billion dollar company for a reason, and it’s not because it markets the brand exclusively to 32 year old dudes with itchy tweeting fingers.
Same Vince, different fan
There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Vince McMahon loves professional wrestling. I’ll bet if you sat down with him over a few drinks, he could go on and on about different wrestling matches that have resonated with him over the years. As a teen, Vince was a massive Dr. Jerry Graham fan. In a Playboy interview back on 2001, Vince waxed poetically about Dr. Jerry’s larger-than-life personality, talking about him “lighting cigars with $100 bills” and how Graham “wore red shoes and rode around Washington in a blood-red 1959 Cadillac.” Nowhere in those quotes will you see anything about “in-ring ability” or “workrate”, because in WWE, actual wrestling ability is the least important thing you need to become a superstar. What is important, however, is the ability to connect, not only with fans, but with Vince. Right or wrong, that’s how it’s always been.
Vince hasn’t changed; your need to bitch and complain has.
Roman Reigns is “the man” and no amount of booing will change that
Roman Reigns isn’t a new thing. WWE, dating all the way back to the WWWF days, has always been known as a promotion built on a strong supporting cast with a “Superman-like” babyface atop the heap. So, why the hate for “The Big Dog”?
Vincent J. McMahon loved superhero babyfaces. He built the WWWF off a relatively simple concept: push an “all-american”, unstoppable babyface capable of carrying the company on his back with class and legitimacy. For close to 15 years, whether he was wearing the WWWF Title or not, Bruno Sammartino was that man, owning the Northeast to the tune of untold sold out arenas and countless ecstatic fans.
The next “hood ornament” babyface to come around for Vince Sr. was Bob Backlund, a walking, talking embodiment of the phrase “aw shucks” if there ever was one. But Bob was also a Division II NCAA wrestling champion, as well as an All-American in both wrestling and football, meaning when the time came to step into the squared circle, what he lacked in charisma, he more than made up for by being a great athlete. Backlund was world champion for close to six years.
Next, it was Hulk Hogan’s turn to be “the man”. In Hulk, Vincent K. McMahon found the perfect “Superman" to take what was once a local family owned territory, and rebrand it for the mainstream, ultimately making the WWF synonymous with professional wrestling. People who don’t know the first thing about pro wrestling still know Hulk Hogan, and after he won the WWF Title from The Iron Sheik in 1984, he carried the belt (and the wrestling world) for most of the next seven years, forever transforming the way we view the genre. With all due respect to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan is the most influential wrestler the industry has ever produced.
Speaking of Steve Austin, he owned the late 90s and early 2000s and did so whether he was wearing a championship or not. He crossed over into pop culture in a way only bested by Hulk Hogan, taking the WWF to unseen heights in revenue.
John Cena picked up the load of being “the man” in 2005 and carried it for a decade. No babyface has ever been more vilified by fans, but through it all, Cena remained the face of not only the WWE, but the industry as a whole.
Whether you like it or not, it’s Roman Reigns’ turn. He is, quite simply, the guy Vince McMahon has decided is his most marketable face. Vince doesn’t care about 5-star matches, workrate, and catering to the anti-Roman Twitter army (most of whom likely harbor a double secret crush on “The Big Dog”. Vince wants someone he can market to middle America, to little kids, to your grandmother. He wants another Hulk Hogan. He wants another John Cena.
Yes, Vince has had “misses”. Anyone making as many decisions as he’s made is gonna have plenty of them, but in Roman, I guarantee he sees someone he can count on. Dependability and work ethic go a long way with guys like Vince McMahon.
Would Roman, from a creative standpoint, be better off with a heel turn? Maybe, depending on what Creative had for him. That’s the thing about a turn: doing it just to do it doesn’t work. Look at the hundred times Big Show had done it for no reason. How about Randy Orton’s 94 turns? I can name two that were memorable.
The dislike for Roman is likely rooted more in overexposure than anything else, which is much the same thing that hurt Cena (from an Internet fan standpoint, at least). With Bruno and Backlund, fans almost always had to go to the arena to see them. Hulk and Austin were merchandise juggernauts, but we still only saw them on TV once a week. Neither had to worry about the level of overexposure Cena and Roman have been saddled with working through.
Regardless, Roman Reigns isn’t going anywhere. Why, because you’ve proven to Vince you’re not going anywhere either. You’ll whine and moan about Roman (or Cena before him) but you’ll be right back in front of your television every Monday and Tuesday, ready to get mad all over again. Just accept that Vince has you and stop taking it all so seriously.
"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes
Like it or not, for many of you, Jinder Mahal is the best heel you’ve ever seen
If you’re under the age of 20, there’s a very good chance Jinder Mahal is one of the best wrestling heel you’ve ever seen. You probably don’t realize this, but it’s true. You see, gentle reader, there was a time long ago when the pro wrestling heel actually wanted to be hated. They didn’t pimp merchandise, sign autographs, and bend over backwards to appear ”cool” to the fans. It was a time old guys like me commonly refer to as “the good ol’ days”.
One Man Gang threatened me with a chain
The first live wrestling show I ever attended was in my grade school gymnasium. I was 8 years old and the Main Event that night was One Man Gang vs. my childhood hero, “The Modern Day Warrior” Kerry Von Erich. I don’t remember a thing about the rest of the show, but I remember this: One Man Gang beat Kerry bloody with a chain (in front of a sea of children), then threatened to do the same to me and a few of my friends as he left the ring. It was terrifying. It was awesome.
I saw One Man Gang at a convention a few years ago. I didn’t approach him. I’m a grown-ass man, pay all my bills, travel the world in search of adventure (and great food), and the second I saw Gang up close, I was 8 years old again.
I know times have changed regarding the manner in which professional wrestling is presented, but even as a kid I knew things were predetermined. But, you see, the magic wasn’t in One Man Gang convincing me pro wrestling is real. The magic was in him convincing me he was real.
He’s “still real to me, dammit”! Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Don’t hinder Jinder
In Jinder Mahal, you actually have someone willing to tap into something deeper within your fandom than the basic “boo/yay” culture established by WWE’s systematic dismantling of what professional wrestling once was. The problem is, far too many of you have been raised on “shades of grey”. You’re so caught up in heels acting like babyfaces and babyfaces acting like heels that you discount the greatness of a guy like Mahal, a guy working his ass off to simply be despised.
A good many of you will probably argue against this, vehemently, but as someone who actually saw (when it occurred) most of the “old school” stuff WWE now offers you on the Network, I feel secure in what I’m saying. You’ll mention things like “workrate” and “five star matches” and I’ll yawn back in your general direction and tell you Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant at WrestleMania III is still the greatest ”spot” of all time. Was is because Hulk and Andre did an amazing sequence of fast-paced moves leading up to the slam, all along no-selling every last thing that was being done to them? No, it most certainly wasn’t. It’s because we all hated Andre, we all loved Hulk, and the idea of Hogan losing to this evil giant was terrifying to us.
Hate Jinder for the right reasons
You might not like Jinder’s matches, but it doesn’t mean what he’s been doing the last year and a half hasn’t been great. He’s a throwback to a time people like me miss, and even though WWE no longer has any interest in catering to my age demographic, I’m all in on Jinder’s efforts. If you’re not, that’s fine, but that’s not a knock on Jinder or his abilities. It is, instead, a clear look into just how brainwashed you’ve become by sports entertainment and guys with match-rating star systems. I enjoy all those crazy highspot-intensive matches too; I just also happen to be able to appreciate a guy who understands his character so well he can make you forget he’s playing a character in the first place.
Jinder has zero desire to “put smiles on faces”, and as someone who grew up on names like Ivan Koloff, “Playboy” Gary Hart, and Stan Hansen, that plays just fine with me. He’s chasing real “heat” with fans, and I those efforts deserve acknowledgement, regardless of whether he ever pulls a moonsault out of his ass or not.