three weed smoking Italian manwhores @illegitimate-crepe - Tumblr Blog

I'm gonna try to get a job at a Marcos so I made this meme

movedaccounts111

"why so single? im the croaker, baby!"

"wanna know how i got these divorce papers, tumblr?"

the-muppet-joker

were--ralph

someone make this into a bumper sticker

savvytwinkle

This is absolutely not staying in the tags

were--ralph

@geothefafa we desperately need an update with a picture of Garcia

the-muppet-joker

Fuck fuckk im scrubbing joker paint off of my face right now, but its too late. its already too late. i put it on in the middle of the night-- my guilty pleasure, I look at myself with a Joker smile, like the good old days-- but then I stopped, mid clowny grin, when I heard something move behind me.

I thought for a moment that I had been caught in my horrible deed by my wife, until I looked down.

My 16-month old had fucking escaped his crib somehow and had crawled towards the light of the bathroom, spilling out of the open door into the hallway. He looked up at me with big eyes, and he did not reach for me like he usually does. Im a stranger to him with this face. He didnt cry, but he looked horrified as I placed him back into bed. Frozen in terror, like he was too afraid to scream. Im so sorry. Im so sorry, my son. My clowning days are behind me. Im a monster

the-muppet-joker

We got like, some Epstein emails released. And one of them mentions a photo of Trump 8lowing "Bubba" (nickname for Bill Clinton. Also the name of Epstein's horse. Not known which one Trump 8lew.) I could be misinformed 8ut I think this is correct.

You are telling me that there is a real chance that the president of the United States might have given a blow job to a horse. And you are telling me this information with a HOMESTUCK TYPING QUIRK

megan-renee

Your vibe is oddly bitter and reeks of insecurity

sounds like someone needs to go in the water

dapperboar

curiositykilledthecas

Reblogging again because the art is spectacular. 10/10.

mizpasta

adoration of the daughters

sourcreammachine

i’m sorry kink fans but i just can’t see the suffix ‘con’ without thinking it means convention

‘dubcon’ will skrillex be there??

sourcreammachine

oh no oh no please not this post please

wynnyfryd

reblog to get your bones rattled at the dubious convention

girlnextvore

When you see a Prep in hottopic

girlnextvore

“This Prep is ready for war bring it you emo fuck”

girlnextvore

why are people reblogging this again

this post is like 11 years old

WHY AREYALL DOING THIS

derinthescarletpescatarian

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

forsapphics

I MUST WEAR SOMETHING GAY!

ascle

Un p’tit mardi dans la vie d’une calico!

Causal friday in a calico’s life!

owlservice

I love what a bastard this kitten is

strange-aeons

Woah. Some freak named Teya[citation needed] was birthed today.

strange-aeons

It's that day.

draculabackward

ok wait just googling to confirm and

STRANGE JONES???

strange-aeons

Everyone start spreading even more misinformation about me RIGHT THIS INSTANT

pukicho

28 yr old man kicking his feet and writing funny tumblr post btw

You're right, I'm too old to be writing jokes online. I should spend my time doing more adult things, like cleaning the gutters or thinking about switching car insurances.

brainrotdotorg

Pussy corrosive. Pussy explosive. I look at that pussy, it’s what I need a dose of. Pussy eroding. Pussy abrasive. I look at that pussy, it’s what I need a taste of. Pussy be stinging. Pussy be hurting. Pussy be sizzling when it’s supposed to be squirting. Pussy disintegrating. Pussy dissolving. Pussy turning heads, that shit is revolving.

brainrotdotorg

Pussy potent. Pussy persuasive. Pussy not local, that shit is invasive. Pussy feeble, pussy pathetic. This pussy ain't meta, this shit's diegetic. Pussy ambush, pussy boobytrap. Pussy equipped with a glock and a strap. Pussy not rude, this pussy's the meanest. This pussy's a pussy but it's also a penis

brainrotdotorg

Pussy flexible, pussy twistable, pussy compelling, that shit's irresistible. Pussy bewildering. Pussy perplexing. Pussy be cursing and pussy be hexing. Eye of newt and turkey gizzard, drink a potion from the pussy wizard. This pussy tells the truth, this pussy tells lies. Can you see through my pussy disguise?

brainrotdotorg

Pussy sopping. Pussy sweating. Pussy complicit, it’s aiding and abetting. Pussy disco. Pussy rave. Put that pussy on the radio waves. Pussy be zesty. Pussy be spiced. Serve up that pussy in a bowl with some rice. Pussy helter. Pussy skelter. I get more pussy than an animal shelter

cohendyke

the line “your worst sin is that you’ve betrayed and destroyed yourself for nothing” is so raw you’d think it’s from a destiel fanfic or even hetalia but it’s actually from dostoyevskys crime and punishment