CONTENT: a story in which the bond you share with your boss is as exciting as it is confusing. [tw: MDNI, explicit smùt, mild crack, rom-com vibes with a smidge of angst, satoru being a little shit, office șex, breedıng kınk, piv şex, squırting, creampıe, backșhots] word count: 6.2k
notes: little comm for ms. @madamechrissy 🤭 i hope u enjoyed it bby
When you’re as rich and attractive as Satoru Gojo, the world is basically your playground. It was clear on your first day of working as his personal assistant that the man did whatever the hell he wanted and gave no fucks while doing so.
“. . . So with all that being said, I’m sure you can understand why I need you to start dressing in a way that’s more. . . fitting for your stature.”
“Yeah,” you nodded and lightly smiled, feeling a sense of warmth start to creep up your neck. “I understand, Mr. Gojo.”
The thing about Mr. Gojo? He had to be one of the most charming individuals you’ve ever come across. He knows how to make you feel special, even when he’s calling you an outfit repeater with no sense of style at the moment.
He’ll soften his gaze, speak with words coated in a thick layer of honey, flash that million dollar smile of his— every demand that came from him sounded so sweet, it was sickening.
He let out a pleased hum. “I knew you would.”
“It’s just– I don’t,” you cut yourself off with a nervous laugh, the sense of warmth you originally felt quickly morphed into embarrassment, “I don’t have anything else to wear.”
“No?”
For a split second, his voice drops. Even if it’s just for a moment, it doesn't fail to leave you a bit unsettled given his history of losing his mind whenever things didn’t go his way.
“N-no, Sir,” you shrink in your seat, “I’ll have to wait until my next payday to go shopping.”
“I see.” His lips curl back into a smile after realizing he’s going to scare you off, as that wasn’t his intention here. He looks at the door real quick, then back at you. “How about this, then— you remember that department store I had you pick up a suit from once, Damian’s?”
Your eyes widen once you realize where he’s going with this. “Oh! I don’t think that’s n—”
He plants his elbows on top of the desk, leaning forward and cutting you off with the simple, yet powerful act of clearing his throat.
“Why don’t you give them a visit this weekend, yeah?” He pauses for a moment, as if he were daring you to interrupt him again. You don’t. He laughs. “Yeah— why don’t you give them a visit. I’ll reach out before the day ends so they know to expect you. Better yet, I’ll tell them exactly what I’m looking for and have them pull whatever pieces fit the idea I have in mind, that way you won’t have to think too much into it.”
“But Mr. Gojo, I can’t afford that,” your voice nearly breaks telling him that.
Satoru doesn’t even know why you bothered telling him— he already knows. If you haven’t already forgotten, he’s the one that pays you. How hard is it to get you to stop dressing like a fucking nun? He’s had it with the god damn turtlenecks.
He lets out a sigh, fighting to keep his cool demeanor despite his dwindling patience. “Which is why I’m sending you to Damian’s, they have my card ready to go on file.”
The wheels in your head continue to turn, wondering why he’d even offer you this much. Wondering if this is even appropriate. It’s been over three months since you started working for him and not once have you heard of an allowance meant for office attire. Now he’s sending you to some high-end department store to pick out new clothes, on his dime, since your clothes don’t ‘fit your stature’. Whatever the hell that means.
“I don’t think I can accept this…” you look down at your feet and murmur, and Satoru nearly rolls his eyes.
You can and you will.
Satoru watches you freeze and realizes he just said that outloud, making him let out a laugh in an attempt to make himself sound less crazy.
“Ahem— sorry, what I meant was…” he stalls, leg lightly bouncing as he thinks of what to say, then decides to make this a company thing, rather than a him thing, “if the company’s requiring it, then the company should pay for it, right?”
His words disarm you enough to nod. “...Right.”
“Perfect,” he chirps out. “That’ll be your assignment for the weekend then.” He leans back in his seat, looking quite pleased with himself. Looking at the clock, he notices it’s a quarter to five, and takes the opportunity to kick you out of his office before the air between you grows awkward again. “Well, now that it’s settled, why don’t you wrap up for the day?”
You glance at the clock. “Uhhh… yeah, sure! Was there anything else you needed before I clock out?”
There was a lot that Satoru needed, like for you to stop sounding so eager when asking if he needed anything else from you. You have no idea how painfully hard that makes him.
“No, thanks,” he responds in a strained tone. “Enjoy your weekend.”
“Thanks! You as well, Mr. Gojo.”
You give him one last smile as you rise from your seat and begin to walk back to your desk that’s just outside his office. It’s not until your hands on the doorknob, ready to turn it, when he stops you one last time.
You brace yourself the moment you meet an unfamiliar pair of eyes, just glimmering with amusement. Satoru then proceeds to throw you off in a way that almost feels ceremonious with how he never quite gave you the chance to get back up.
“I know it’s just a little favor, but you know how people can be sometimes. So for both of our sakes, let’s just keep this between us to avoid any confusion, yeah? It can be our little secret.”
Something in that low, velvety voice of his told you it was just the beginning of many secrets you’d be sharing, but it still managed to lure you in.
And so, you said yes— marking the very beginning of something that was just as confusing as it was thrilling.
. . . . . .
Being a man of his stature, Satoru has to really watch himself in public— watch what he says, who he says it to, what he does, and where he does it. Which is why he frequents places the public didn’t have knowledge of, let alone have access too. Places that allowed him to let loose.
Though, in your honest opinion, just because someone can let loose, doesn’t mean they should. Especially someone like Satoru, who does a shit ton of coke and treats it like a fucking free for all.
His idea of a good time is often a violent one. You wish you were kidding, there’s nothing that gets him going more than being in the middle of an all out brawl— just grinning from ear to ear while drinks and punches get thrown in every which direction as music continues to blast in the background.
The first to call you is his driver Ijichi, who’s aware that your job consists of tasks that went way beyond the professional scope.
The next is the county jail, because you are Satoru’s emergency contact.
An hour later, you’re patching your boss up in the middle of his penthouse at 3:00 A.M, when you should be asleep like most people are on this side of the world.
“Sorry you got ripped out of your sleep for this,” he boyishly mutters as you dab the corner of his mouth with antiseptic. Lucky for him, the cut’s small, and should be gone by Monday morning. It’s his knuckles that are all scraped up. But then again, he doesn’t interact with many people at the office to begin with, and the ones that do get paid enough not to ask.
“Are you actually sorry, or are you just saying that?” you murmur back.
“Let’s just say I’m grateful that it's you that’s cleaning me up right now.”
“As opposed to who?”
“I dunno,” he chuckles, looking at you through heavy lidded eyes that you refuse to meet. “Don’t even wanna think about anybody else’s fingers on me.”
“How sweet,” you boredly say, dabbing a bit of ointment on the small cut. “Maybe you can extend that kindness to everyone else for the rest of this weekend? So I don’t have to, you know— pick you up from jail… again.”
“What if I only like being sweet to you?” he murmurs.
He doesn’t make you feel special anymore.
For how close of a proximity you have to the man’s personal life, you already are special, and it’s something he constantly reminds you of, even during times it’s not necessary. In the midst of all the confusion it leaves you with, you’re reminded of a line that’s been completely blurred, and you’re not quite sure who’s at fault here.
Satoru may be pervasive by nature, but you’re still here. Somehow there’s still a part of you that wants to please him despite all your irritation.
“Well then everyone’s out of luck and I’m out of sleep.” You sigh as you close the first-aid kit.
He watches as you get up from the couch to put it back in the cabinet, eyes tracing over your body throughout the entirety of it. You may not be in the tight skirts and high heels he has you in during the day, but he found himself enjoying off-duty sweats and slippers just as much. Shamelessly, he doesn’t take his eyes off you when you start walking back towards him, but you’re used to it at this point.
“Y’know you can spend the night here if you’re so tired, right?” he teasingly asks, but you know there’s a part of him that’s more than serious about it.
“No thank you.” You throw your purse over your shoulder, typing away at your phone as you try to book an uber. “I’m sure your silk sheets are great, but they’re no match for mine.”
To no one's surprise, you got out of his penthouse fast. You’ve gotten pretty good at dodging him in situations that could easily end with you on your back, splayed out right underneath him.
Believe it or not, he actually respects that— the self control and all. Especially with the way you’ve almost given in to him a couple times. It didn’t need to be said for him to know. He’s seen the needy, defeated look in your eyes during the times he’s gotten too close. It’s a look that screams ‘get away from me before I do something stupid, please’. A sweet girl you are, really.
But what would happen if he kept going and finally closed that distance?
Sometimes, he thinks he’d be nice to you. Be all soft, put you on his lap, whisper sweet things in your ear while his hand slowly slid down your stomach. You’d begin to hold your breath the moment he went past your waist and it’d finally catch once his fingers found themselves in between your thighs, slipping right in between your folds.
He’d kiss on your neck, pull moans from you as he drew little circles over your clit, making your legs tremble once he finally slipped inside and started curling in.
Then there’s times he thinks he’d be rough with you. Make you start crying from how fast and hard he made you cum from just his fingers alone. Bend you over the nearest surface and tease you with the thick head of his cock, rubbing it over your slick folds until you beg him to put it in.
He’d pull your hair back, make you look him in the eyes while he fucked you senseless, pump you full of so much cum that it’d continued to leak out of your poor pussy the very next day.
Bonus points if you two had to work together that day.
But for now, a man could only dream, or rather imagine, as he starts to fist his cock to the thought of you for who knows how many times now.
. . . . . .
There’s something mildly embarrassing about going to Damian’s with Satoru after being sent here all those months back to pick out new work clothes. Only because he specifically told the stylist to only pull items that were tight fitting and showed a decent amount of cleavage.
You’re sure if that asshole hadn't done that, you would’ve walked into the department store without a second thought. As if it couldn't have gotten any worse, that same stylist is here, and she’s looking at you with the same amount of concern you’d give to someone who’s being put through the ringer from extreme work conditions.
You technically are, given all the extra shit he has you do, like picking him up from jail at 2:00 A.M. You’re not exactly planning on leaving anytime soon, though. Don’t ask why. You’re not so sure of it yourself, either.
Satoru was here to try on a few different suits that just came in. And you’re here because unless you’re working on anything that’s considered incredibly important, you go wherever he goes.
Just as he was able to go off to the fitting room, the poor stylist asked a question she really shouldn’t have asked. She had good intentions when asking if you wanted to see some of the new pieces they had for Spring, and then Satoru made some comment about grabbing whatever you wanted and putting it on his card.
And then this poor girl looks at him with all the confidence in the world and asks, “If you’d like, I can pull a few different pieces from the racks like last time— tight fitting, low cuts, and neutrals, right?”
You didn’t have much of a reaction upon hearing that, it was already clear he had requested those things the last time you came here.
Satoru, however, just stood there and stared at this girl as if she had just ruined his fucking life.
It is not often he's left so appalled that it’s rendered him speechless, but there he was just staring at her with nothing but anger and betrayal in his eyes. She looked like she wanted to cry, and rightfully so. You were honestly scared for her.
“I think that’d be great,” you cut in, trying to break the tension, only to feel Satoru’s nasty glare get directed towards you instead once he realized you were trying to save her. “We’re here for less than an hour, though, so maybe just pull some skirts since the weather's starting to warm up.”
“Y-yeah! Of course.”
You watched as she quickly scurried away, then turned to find your boss just now deciding to follow the tailor, still looking absolutely fucking pissed that she just outed him like that.
Maybe you should tell her to hide once she comes back with those skirts.
. . .
Satoru might not be one to talk right now given how his goal a few months back was to get you to start dressing just a tad bit sluttier while still looking appropriate enough for work, but he didn’t give a shit. That woman had no tact whatsoever.
Who says something like that? You’re clearly his fucking assistant, there was no need to out his preferences like that.
It fucked up his entire mood for the hour… not that it stopped him from going ahead and having all the suits he tried on sent to his house. But just as he was getting ready to let it go, he saw something else that managed to make him do a double take.
It’s exactly what you think it is. Which is why he’s walking straight towards you and whoever the hell you’re talking to.
You didn’t know Rei existed up until two minutes ago, and tried to do him the favor of wrapping up the small conversation he tried sparking up with you once you caught a glimpse of a certain someone walking your way.
It didn’t work and now Satoru’s standing in front of you two, making you brace yourself for whatever sequence of words is going to come out of his mouth since he’s already in a shitty mood from the stylist snitching on him for being a pervert.
“You can leave now. Bye,” he simply says to the man, nodding towards the exit.
There’s a moment of silence. His reaction wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be, but it still adds weight to the air around you. Rei was understandably left scrambling, not that Satoru noticed, he was too busy looking at you like he was tired of you disappointing him.
And your eyes widened, as if you were asking him, what the fuck did I do?
“Excuse me?” Rei finally managed to ask.
The displeased look on Satoru’s face stays as he briefly turns his attention to Rei. “You’re excused. Goodbye,” he says, casually dismissing him again.
“I’m sorry,” the man laughs from pure disbelief, “are you her boyfriend or something? Because you could’ve just said—”
“I’m not,” Satoru cuts him off with a tone that’s still surprisingly calm.
He wouldn’t say he’s calm— disassociated is more like it. All the words Rei throws at him just swarm around his head like a bunch of little gnats, and he steadily loses his patience since he’s already told the guy to fucking leave. Eventually, he closes his eyes and lets out a long, deep sigh.
“You know what?” Satoru suddenly cuts him off and proceeds to make him an offer— one that makes your jaw drop. “If you want her number so fuckin’ bad, then fine. You can fight me for it.”
“Satoru?!” you immediately scold the man.
“What the hell is your problem, man?!” Rei says at the same time as you.
“Oh, wow.” Satoru looks at you, then points a finger at Rei. “He doesn’t even want to fight for you.”
At that point, the man storms off, muttering some stuff under his breath about people and wondering what the fuck was wrong with them, leaving you to deal with whatever sudden mood swing your boss was having today.
It didn’t just start within the last hour. This has been going on all day and started when he almost snapped at one of the interns for running into him this morning when turning a corner too fast. You don’t have much patience for him, though.
“Ijichi’s already waiting outside for us,” you casually inform him and turn your heel, taking a step forward to walk away.
“That’s it?” The lack of acknowledgment makes Satoru snap. “That’s all you have to say?”
You stop and turn again, taking a good look at Satoru as you try to come up with more to say, which is hard given how you just watched him agree to let someone have your number if they fought him.
Yet all that comes to mind are the lines that you’ve blurred with the man.
“Do you want me to walk on eggshells around you, too, just like everybody else has today?”
“...No.” It’s not much of an answer with the way he mumbled it, but at least you were able to reroute the guy.
You softly sigh. “Alright, then… let’s go.”
. . . . .
The air’s been stale between you since that day.
You have no idea what’s gotten into him, neither do you want to ask. And it’s not that you don’t care— of course you do. It should've already been made clear by now that you care about Satoru more than you should.
At first, you wonder if it’s some sort of rough patch. Then you realize that isn't normal in professional relationships, leaving you with more questions than answers because nothing about your relationship is professional.
You run around all over the place for him, picking up his suits and sometimes even him at 3:00 A.M when he’s too drunk or high to drive home. As if that didn’t cross the line enough, he treats you like his friend. A really jealous friend, at that. He’ll do things like cockblock you if a man tries to talk to you when he’s around, sometimes even threatening to fight them.
It’s been three weeks of silence.
He didn’t even bother saying goodbye to you when you clocked out for the weekend yesterday. It wouldn’t have been a bad thing at all with your last boss, but something about getting just a simple hum from Satoru left you feeling stupid.
So what did change with him? It might be better if he listed all the things that didn’t.
He still jacked off with you in mind— that probably won’t ever change, at least not for a while. He still keeps an eye on you.
It sounds bad, but it’s really not.
He just has surveillance over your apartment building, not your actual apartment. He also has the security team keep an eye out whenever you walk to and from your car, before and after work. Just basic safety stuff. He might have a tracker on your car, but never looks at it.
Unless he’s drunk, but that doesn’t count in his head.
So then what changed?
Probably the new sense of shame that only seems to unveil itself when you’re around. He’d rather you not have a front row seat when it comes to all of his less… desirable qualities anymore. He is far from perfect— very fucking far from it.
Was it too late for that?
Probably.
It still made him feel just a little bit better about himself, even though he’s been rotting away on the inside from keeping his distance.
. . . . . .
Staying late at the office is a rare but unavoidable occurrence.
It happens. Some work gets prioritized over others, leaving small tasks to multiply and pile up. Today is one of those days Satoru is forced to push a main project aside and tackle all the little ones.
He considered taking on all of it by himself, but was reminded why he avoided the work in the first place just an hour into his day. It was all so boring and tedious. It would’ve driven him up the wall had he not handed off a portion of it to you.
But even then, there were a couple moments he spent wallowing in self-pity, looking out the window with thoughts of throwing himself off the top floor of the high rise. He fucking hates this and hates how he has no one but himself to blame for all the procrastination he’s done.
The office feels like a different world once everyone’s gone. It may feel comfortable for your boss since he has his own office, but your desk right outside of it gives you a front row seat to a corporate wasteland. Muffled chatter gets replaced with the sounds of the fluorescent lights buzzing above you. Air vents thrumming as they recirculate the cold, stale air.
The clock says 8:48 p.m once you finally finish your last task of the day. As happy as you are to finally leave this place, you grow nervous at the thought of entering your boss’s office to let him know you’re finished and heading home. Whatever camaraderie you had with him is non-existent at this point. Everything with him just feels awkward now and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you haven’t already started looking for new positions.
You lightly knock on the door leading to his office and don’t enter until you hear a tired hum on the other side of it.
Aside from the lamps next to his desk and next to the sofa you see when you first walk in, every other light is off, allowing the moonlight to peek through the dim space. It’s actually quite peaceful with his view of the city’s lit up skyline.
Satoru's eyes must hurt. He has his reading glasses on, framing the tired lines and dark circles under them.
“I’m all done for the day,” you say, carrying a stack of papers as you walk up to him and setting them down on the oak wood desk he’s half leaning on.
He doesn’t look at you.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, sounding just as drained as he looks.
You stand there, waiting for him to say anything else before coming to the conclusion that maybe it was time to move on to a new company, because you are too far gone.
Stupid.
The long day you two have had wasn’t a reason to think he’d give you more than he has lately, let alone something to get your hopes up over.
Just standing in front of him makes you feel pathetic— you shouldn’t feel like that.
You open your mouth to say goodbye for the night, since he won’t, but instead say something entirely different that leaves even you shocked.
“I’m putting in my two weeks.”
You haven’t even sent out any applications.
Satoru’s eyes darted up at you while staying in place. “What?”
Despite not having the right, he did not fucking like that. The cold tone of his voice made you want to cower down and take your words back, but there was no turning back.
You push through the nerves as you repeat yourself in a professional manner. “After some consideration, I’ve decided I want to take my career in a different direction and that would require me to step down from my position.”
The overly corporate tone does nothing but put a glare on Satoru’s face, one that deepens as you continue to spew, what he considers, a bunch of bullshit from your mouth.
“I’d like to thank you for the opportunities the company has given me, of course. I’d be more than happy to train my replacement.”
“You’re not training anybody,” he scoffs, standing from his seat as he starts to go through literally every stage of grief. “What the fuck? No? No. You’re not fucking leaving— absolutely not. Fuck that.”
Your eyes widen in disbelief over how entitled he is. He’s been treating you like a second class citizen for weeks and now he’s not letting you leave? “That’s not your choice to make.”
“I don’t care,” he says delusionally. “You’re not fucking leaving.”
“Yes I am.” You raise your tone. “You can’t just fucking keep me here—“
“Where are you going then, huh? Since you seem to have found a place so much better,” his immaturity inevitably shines through as he cuts you off.
“That’s none of your business!”
“It’s not, but you owe me that much,” he begins to argue.
Your face twists in disgust. “I don’t owe you anything. I— how can someone be this selfish?! You’ve been giving me the cold-shoulder for weeks—“
He cuts you off again. “So that’s what this is about?!”
For someone that’s been ignoring you for weeks, he’s very expressive, especially when he argues. His pupils will be blown out, he’ll look at you in disgust, talk with his hands, pace around the room, then get in your face. This time is no different.
“You’re leaving ‘cause I won’t give you attention? I thought you didn’t fucking want that!” He throws his arms out, voice resounding through the room.
You pause, mouthing a ‘what?’ to yourself in complete disbelief. Leaving someone angry and confused is one impressive skill— Satoru has clearly mastered it.
“When have I ever said that?!”
“It was written all over your face!” He shouts back, almost as if it was something that hurt him. “I figured you were getting tired of me so I backed off!”
“Seriously? That’s your definition of backing off?” You have to stop yourself from laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. “Backing off is stopping the 1:00 am calls on the weekend— not completely disregarding me.”
“I went back to being your boss—“
“Yeah, a really shitty one.”
“I was always a shitty one.” He barks out a laugh. “The only reason why you’re mad now is because you’re not getting anything out of it anymore.”
Satoru doesn’t mean that.
Not that you’d know.
He tends to reject anything that brings him even just the slightest bit of discomfort, all while hating rejection himself. Watching you try to quit has made it one hell of a combo for him.
If he was just someone you simply had to tolerate, then whatever you gained from it was not worth your time. But he spoke with enough conviction to render whatever response you had useless.
“How the hell do you expect me to stay after saying that?” you genuinely ask. “I’m tired of not being treated like real person and now you’re being a fucking asshole.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I—“
“No. Save it,” you say in defeat as you start to walk away.
“Where are you going?” he asks, still having the audacity to sound irritated.
“Leaving— have fun finding a new replacement. I’m not staying for another two weeks.”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “Well if you’re not coming back would you at least finally admit you felt something between us?”
You stop and let out a sigh. “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” he says, taking a couple steps towards you.
“No, there wasn’t.”
“Alright,” he huffs out a laugh. “I get that you’re mad at me and everything, but there’s no point lying about now.”
“I’m not lying about anything.”
“I don’t believe you,” he blandly says. “You wouldn’t have stayed as long as you did if there was never anything there. Be honest with yourself for once.”
Just as you’re about to deny it for the third time, you hesitate. “Just forget it already.”
The sight of you walking away for the second time feels entirely different from the first time for Satoru. No more confusion or panic, all that’s left is certainty. Perhaps a little amusement, as well. “No. I don’t think I will, actually.”
It happens fast.
You hardly process being spun back around, then you’re stunned again by a pair of lips crashing into yours. It’s messy from the start and he’s breathlessly apologizing against you with each rough kiss.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. You know I didn’t mean that. Please.
And you forgive him, because there’s really no point in lying anymore. Not when you’re kissing him back. Desperately, at that— filled with just as much need. His hands start to roam, clothes start to scatter, leaving a trail that leads in the direction he took you in.
He always thought he’d put you on the desk.
The couch shifts erratically, moans pour into the room with each thrust. Satoru’s pressing down on your back and deepening the arch he put you in, bottoming out over and over again.
“Good job, baby,” he drones, mesmerized at the sight of you helplessly stretched around his thick cock, covering it in a thick coat of your slick.
It took some working up to. The moment he sat you down on the couch, he buried his head in between your thighs and tongued your clit— dragging it over that sensitive little bundle of nerves until you couldn’t see straight. Then it was his fingers. Working not one, but two of his long digits into your cunt, curling them into a little spot that had you gushing all over him.
Now he’s fucking that same little spot to no mercy, making your toes curl as the thick head of his cock catches it. “Oh my g-god— Satoru– fuuck!”
“Mmm I know,” he grabs your hair and pulls you back up against his chest, not letting up as he gets right in your ear. “Say my name again.”
His balls slap against your clit with each thrust, leaving you a gasping mess. “S-Satoru.”
“Again.”
“Satoru!” you cry out.
“Sounds so fuckin’ pretty coming from you,” he hums, licking a stripe up your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “You like getting ruined on the couch like this?”
Shamelessly, you nod. “Mhm.”
“Yeah? You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?”
“I have,” you admit. “A lot.”
“So honest tonight,” he grins, “so have I— thought about kissing you, fucking you, putting a baby in you.” A hand snakes down your belly until his fingers reach your clit, drawing little circles. “You really wouldn’t be able to get away from me then, huh?”
“That’s fucking insane,” your attempt to complain dies out into another pathetic moan.
“I fucking know,” he laughs, pulling your hair back even more so you can look him right in the eye while he fucks himself even deeper into you. “I think you might like that though since you’re squeezing around me like crazy.”
And you have no idea how to respond to that, you’re so fucking close. It’s taking everything in you to hold yourself together while he just tears you apart with each snap of his hips, rubbing fast circles over your clit.
“How bad do you wanna cum again?”
It’s been three times already, each time harder than the last. Your own body betrays yourself when you answer his question. “So bad.”
He hums sympathetically, though the look in his eyes seems to be the complete opposite of that. He keeps the same dizzying pace, pushing you further and further to edge until you’re finally gushing around him, again. He watches as tears of pure pleasure start rolling down your cheeks, trembling and letting out choked moans as he continues fucking you into overstimulation.
“I know, baby, I know,” he coos, letting go of your hair and wrapping his arms around your waist, keeping your back flush against his chest while he starts chasing against his own release. “M’so fuckin’ close. You’re gonna take it all, right?”
“Yeah,” you weakly nod, nails digging into his forearms, steadying yourself as best as you can.
“Shit— good girl,” he exhales, snapping his hips against your ass even harder, thrusts growing sloppier. “Here we go.”
The groans that spill out of Satoru are just downright sinful. There’s nothing but desperation in his tone as he holds on tight and starts pumping you full of his cum, shuddering as you milk his cock for all that he has.
You’re spent by the time you come back to your senses, with his arms being the only thing keeping you up. And yet, as you lay limp in his hold, he says something that, at the time, sounded like a threat with how entranced he seemed.
“Don’t think I’m done with you yet, princess.”
—
It’d been months since the night he finally broke his silence with you.
No, you don’t work for him anymore. You quickly found a new job just three weeks later. One with better pay and normal hours. Easier, too.
Looking back, he truly was a shitty boss. A conniving one that always took up your time. You guess you just never saw it because a part of you always liked it— better yet, liked him.
Good thing he’s a better boyfriend than he is a boss.
You were reluctant to start a relationship with him at first, the thought of him taking up even more space into your life lingering in the back of your mind and threatening whatever little peace you had left. But surprisingly, he went from being a conspiring little bastard to…
“I just have one request tonight.”
You’re in the middle of doing your makeup when his sudden presence pulls your attention away from it. You look at a slightly reluctant Satoru through the vanity mirror, raising a brow and waiting to hear what exactly that request is for tonight.
“Can you wear something that shows your tits more?” Immediately you scoff, and he’s quick to defend himself. “What?! It’s our anniversary!”
You’ve been with him for an entire year now, and he just seems to grow more and more pathetic as the time passes. He’s in nothing but boxers, begging you to show off some cleavage, for fucks sake.
“You see my tits every night,” you scold him.
“And I want to see them some more tonight, too.”
You scoff. “Sato—“
“Please,” he cuts you off with a beg. There’s a bit of a stare off shortly after, with him looking at you like some lost puppy and you inevitably give in, like you always do. He’s hard to say no to when he gets like this.
“Fine.”
He smiles and walks up to you, leaning down to give you a quick kiss, careful not to mess with your lip liner. “Love you.”
“I love you, too,” you softly say, before barely scolding him again. “Now go put your suit on, you’re the one that said the driver was gonna be here soon.”
“Yeah, whatever— he can wait,” he waves a hand, lazily walking up to the sea of suits he has in your shared closet.
“Hey, Satoru?”
“Hm?”
“If we’re even one minute late, I’m putting on a fucking turtleneck.” “…Fine.”
You're married to Satoru Gojo - an arrangement since your childhood, one you're so excited for. You soon find out - he wants nothing to do with you. Any one is preferable, from the waitress at your engagement party, to his secretary. Torn apart by insecurities and devastated by the fact that you can't make this one sided affection work, you decide to find something to keep you going until Gojo finds a way to end the marriage. That's what lands you right in the notorious boxing ring in town - led by Ryomen Sukuna, who finally sees you.
pairings - Nepo baby! Gojo x Reader x Boxer! Sukuna
warnings!!! - dear god lol - first time blow jobs, threesome (m/f/m) eifel tower, possessive Sukuna, desperate and pathetic Satoru, swallowing, oral (f and m receiving) p in v sex, degradation, praise, (they love to make reader cry and ruin her pussy tbh) cumplay, rough sex, choking, angst, basically the messiest chap EVER and this one leans towards Satoru (Sukuna's was last chap lol) - 12.1k (god lol)
As always this will have 3 endings - i'll repeat again if anyone reads authors notes - three endings! One Poly, One Gojo, One Sukuna. Poly end will be first.
<<<part five - masterlist - playlist - part seven
part six
𝕾𝖚𝖐𝖚𝖓𝖆
“Then open that pretty mouth.”
You obediently do just that – open your mouth for him, as his mind rushes and whirls with thoughts – you clearly have feelings for that fuck, and he won’t fault you for it, he wants all of you. Even the part that cares for a dumb, gaslighting little white haired fuck who just looked at you like he couldn’t imagine anything better than drinking Sukuna’s cum from your pussy.
His hands entangle in the hair at the nape of your neck, you damn near have cute little hearts in your eyes when he takes his tip, smearing a bead of precum right along your lips like a gloss. He exhales and then lets the heavy weight of his reddened tip glide on your tongue, the taste making you swallow and moan around him.
“Take as much as you can, pretty lil brat,” he whispers, moaning when you start bobbing up and down his veiny length, you’re so damn pretty like this, obedient like always, your nails pressing into his thighs. “Sucking me first, hmm? Me?”
“Mmm,” your answer is a soft moan that makes your throat flutter around him, tears pricking your pretty eyes and glimmering off your cheeks, sniffling as he keeps fucking into your throat deeper. “Mhmm…”
“That’s it, fuckin’ so proud of you,” he can tell you’re dying over the praise – you deserve that and more. “Always listenin’ s’fuckin’ well. Hah – there you go, just like that… fuck…”
You try to take more of him, your enthusiasm outpacing your skill, and you gag around him, throat constricting, your eyes watering instantly. A thick, messy string of drool slips from the corner of your mouth, dripping down onto his veiny shaft, even onto your little hand where it rests on his thigh.
You pull back and start coughing, your face flushed so cute, he can see you’re embarrassed, chuckling softly at you. “I’m sorry… I um…”
“You were taking too much too fast,” you blush so hot he feels it burning when he touches your cheek, you kiss his tip, a thick string of saliva connecting your swollen, glistening lips to his reddened tip. “You need to breathe through your nose and ease into it, my cock isn’t fucking going anywhere.”
“It’s not?” You tease, lips twitching at the corners, Sukuna loves the fact that you’re in here with him, he knows Satoru was trying and that you let him taste you, but you’re here.
On your knees.
Obediently waiting for his directions, for him to show you everything – no matter what fuck ass direction things go with Satoru and you – whatever weird throuple shit he may have to endure? He eats up the fact that you’re his, that he took you first, your mouth, your pretty cunt, fuck he was your first real kiss and not for show.
Possessive and sick, fucking depraved is how you make him – so depraved he’ll do anything to make sure you stay his. You belong to Sukuna as much as he does to you.
“Try to take more,” he leans forward now, adjusting his cock so it glides up in your throat easier, sucking in a breath as the wet, slutty sounds fill your room. “That’s it, mouth wrappin’ me, throat that tight? Fuck – m’gonna stretch it out, have him hear how badly I ruin it. So loud and slutty.”
You’re whining out at his toxic words, you – as pretty, sweet, and innocent as you are – are toxic too. He senses it in how you respond, in how you whine out when Sukuna holds you there, buried to the hilt, your nose pressed against the coarse pink hair at his base. He groans and keeps you there, brushing your hair back as you drool, throat quivering.
“You can take me brat,” he whispers softly, pulling back and letting that precum dance on your uvula as he moves. “Want me to use your throat, huh? Just like this?”
You sniffle and nod, just a beautiful, ruined, tear streaked mess, your lips are so swollen and bruised when you pull back and he lets you get a breath, just to suck him down obediently, letting him choke you with his length. Your pretty, lidded eyes are all glassy, that saliva slipping down your chin.
You’ve never even looked more beautiful, never been more his than on your knees, swallowing every fucking drop he pumps inside your throat, greedy and eager to please, your nails pressing hard into his thighs, digging in and making him suck in a breath, cock throbbing now.
“F-fuck… that’s it, greedy lil girl aren’t you?” You pull back with a messy pop, tongue lapping the undervein that wraps his thick cock. “You’re slutty for me… Love my cock ruining your throat?”
“I do,” your voice is weak and shaky, shifting on your thighs.
“Touch that pretty lil cunt while you take me, while you swallow me,” you reach down and blush, he laughs softly, cupping your face. “I want you to cum, wanna feel you scream around my cock, can you baby? Be good f’me?”
You nod quickly. “Y-yes, Kuna. Wanna be good for you.”
You swallow him so good, you drink every bit down, opening your mouth for his spit to join it, taking his greedy fucking kisses.
Once Sukuna has you in your bed all tucked in and tugged against him, he can’t help but let his mind race, to observe your pretty face quietly.
He can’t help but wonder just what was going on in your head.
“What is it, Kuna?” You murmur, voice all rough from where he’d fucked your throat.
“Just wondering if I should go ahead and fuck your ass,” you gasp and he smirks. “I can’t have him getting any hole first.”
“You’re toxic!” You shove him playfully but he cups your face, looking right into your eyes, making you pause, your lips parted. “Kuna?”
“I won’t let you fucking go,” his voice is harsher than he means, his grip on your face is too tight, you’re trembling. “You’re mine, all mine, fuckin’ need you, okay?”
“I wasn’t planning on leaving you at all,” you lean up, frowning now, kissing his lips softly. “I need you.”
“Do you need me, baby?” He whispers, you nod quickly, eyes slipping tears. “If you fuck that dumb white haired shit, would you tell him I hit it better?”
“Kuna!”
“Tell him he can’t make you cum, too,” you snort and roll your eyes.
“You’re insane.”
“Don’t fuck him till he stops bringing those sluts near you,” you nod and snuggle against him. “I’m serious.”
“You assume I’ll fuck Gojo.”
“It’s obvious he’ll beg enough, but I want you to remember who split you open on their cock first,” he whispers, watching your eyes go dazed. “Yeah?”
“Yes, Kuna.”
He knows you’ll let him in, but Sukuna sure the fuck was gonna make sure that dumb fuck didn’t hurt you, and that he was in control. He can’t not have you – all of you – and if he has to share, Gojo needs to learn that you’re his first.
****
𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖚
Satoru can’t stand the fact that you look so goddamn happy when you go off in the morning to box with Sukuna, how you get all peppy and do your hair, getting ready to go meet him. You’re making breakfast when he gets up the next morning and walks over by you, remembering the taste of your cunt on his goddamn lips – the way he desperately licked your thighs.
You were ruining him just existing, and now you couldn’t be his – just his – if that really was what he wanted. Was it?
Did he want to pump you full of his cum, have his babies, all those Gojo heirs his parents had pushed on him but instead of the perfect kids, they’d help take down shit parents like yours and his. The mix of your sweetness and Satoru's ruthless nature, kids of his own he could raise and try not to fuck up anywhere close to what your parents and his had done.
What a fucking insane dream, before he knew it your hips would widen – those hips that just beg for his hands, breedable ones he can’t stop imagining, he’d seen your pretty cunt, your tits, but imagine you folded in half? He’s sure it’s how Sukuna had you, part of him wants to see it – this sadistic goddamn part of him that he can’t explain away with any reason.
Satoru Gojo wishes he never pushed you away, he wishes he gave whatever the fuck this is some chance rather than shoving you into Sukuna’s arms, willing to get little crumbs and pieces of you at best. You shouldn’t even have let him taste you, shouldn’t have let him near you – yet you did.
Sukuna did.
What was his motivation, some fucking control, some way to torture Satoru? Did he think Satoru wouldn’t try to make you his if he got the chance to, that he wouldn’t sink to his knees if you just commanded him to? For as sweet and precious as you are, you have Sukuna Ryomen ready to do anything for you – including beating your parents and letting Satoru himself touch you.
He sees why, when it would merely take a few words and he’d do anything you asked, too, your tentative smile all shy and sweet like you weren’t wrecking his mind, like you didn’t have his dick utterly broken. He can’t even think of another woman without disgust now, and it’s all your fault.
“Good morning,” you say softly, tentative as if you’re not sure when or if he’ll snap, say something mean as fuck to you.
Of course you think he would.
“Yeah,” he can’t even say good morning to you, not when he heard slurping noises coming from your room last night, gagging and choking, and your lips are fucking swollen today. He walks behind you, making you tremble just a bit, an arm on either side of the counter. “Where’s your lover?”
“He’s at the gym,” you barely manage to speak, clearing your throat. “Where’s Jennifer? Chloe?”
“Fuck if I care or know,” you turn to him now, a little bit of batter on the corner of your lip, he swipes at it, pressing it between yours and watching as his thumb parts those lips. “Suck.”
You bite him.
“Fuck,” he laughs then as you glare, teeth indentations in his skin. “Guess that only works for Sukuna.”
“He always gives me a choice,” you blush furiously now. “Also… he only just let me do that.”
“Haven’t you two been fucking?”
“Yes,” you turn again, stirring the batter quickly, feeling his breath against your neck. “My lip was busted and he was worried. But also I never have… so… my only experience was watching you.”
Satoru pauses.
“Watching me?”
“Well not spying but I saw Chloe on her knees when you didn’t shut the door all the way, and that random girl you brought… they both did,” you clear your throat, Satoru’s heart sinks. “I um… wanted to try something that made him feel good like that I guess.”
“Ah,” how does he respond? When the pain is written on your face as he steps to the side and looks at you, when your lip is trembling. “You were curious, hmm?”
“How to please you at first? Yes,” you start pouring the batter into the muffin tins, clearing your throat. “I thought very foolishly that you’d eventually want me that first month, that you’d just let me try and I’d be able to make you like it.”
He can’t speak again.
“It was stupid,” you sigh and lean over to set the timer, placing the pan in the oven and letting it whir. “I was stupid then, so fucking stupid.”
“You weren’t –”
“On that you were correct,” you shut the door and look at him, the oven rushing warmth and making your cheeks flush. “That I was so pathetic I’d have dropped to my knees for you.”
Satoru Gojo hates himself.
*****
𝖄𝖔𝖚
He says nothing as you start heating up butter for the eggs in the pretty diamond coated pan – Satoru was nothing if not great for the finest items in the kitchen, the finest of everything. He studies you in a way that makes his blue eyes feel like a physical touch, making you remember his desperation last night, making you remember so much about it.
You’re utterly confused.
“It wasn’t pathetic,” you scoff then, looking at him in shock, he curses and shuts his eyes, hand rushing through his white locks. “Wanting to please your husband was what you were raised for, and it was all you really knew.”
“You think that was all of it?” You hardly hold your emotions back, but he looks at you in this way that destroys your soul. “You think I didn’t have feelings long before we got married?”
“How could you? You didn’t know me.”
“I knew of you, I saw you – so sweet I thought,” you laugh without humor, stirring the eggs up and trying to keep your composure. “I always thought you’d rescue me from them, that you’d show me love, that I could give you your heirs. And make you so happy you wouldn’t regret me.”
He’s quiet.
You’re quiet, but he studies you carefully, with aching reverence as you busy yourself more. “I was stupid.”
Satoru shuts his eyes, before he tugs you to him, cupping your face and trying to ruin you, his eyes glittering with emotion. “You weren’t stupid, you just didn’t know what a disappointment I would become.”
You can’t speak, you can’t say anything, heart hammering in your chest as he leans low, pressing a kiss on your brow that has no right being comforting, sighing and then stepping back, his hands shaking.
“You shouldn’t do that…” He laughs, a bitter, hollow sound, hands finally falling from your face.
“I could suck you off my fingers but not kiss your forehead?”
“It hurts more,” you admit, shutting your eyes, he sighs quietly.
“You’re going to train?”
“I am,” you murmur softly, looking back at him finally. “You’re going to work?”
“Yeah…”
Satoru walks away without another word.
*****
You bring the muffins and breakfast in a little warmer for Yuuji and Sukuna. The gym has started to feel like a little sanctuary, especially with the lingering confusion of Satoru Gojo. Sukuna is punching the bag and Yuuji is stretching, looking like a young carbon copy of his uncle, waving at you all bright and chipper as Sukuna just smirks at you.
“Good morning!” You smile and walk over, holding up the little lunchboxes now. “Ooh, for me?”
“Mhm! I made plenty too,” you look at Sukuna and grin. “Hungry?”
“Starving,” the way he says it makes your core tighten, he knows what he does with his words, when the three of you go over and sit, eating in Sukuna’s little office. “Fuck, you cook this good?”
“I love to bake,” Yuuji is on his third muffin, moaning.
“I love you. I mean!?”
“I’ll kick you through a wall, brat,” Sukuna glares and Yuuji looks frightened, you’re just giggling, handing him a little thermos.
“I made coffee too.”
“Oh it’s so sweet!” He’s happily sipping, before looking at you carefully, something feels so perfect about sitting here with both of them, even if you’re constantly being pulled in another direction.
Is this what it feels like to be split in half?
“Are you still hurt?” Yuuji breaks your heart, you shake your head and touch his shoulder.
“I’m okay, I promise!” He sighs and then peers over at Sukuna, clearing his throat.
“I’m going to clean up a bit, I have a class to get to.”
“Go ahead kid.”
“Thanks again,” he smacks a little kiss on your head, making you smile with affection, Sukuna carefully studying you, his expression unreadable as he leans back in his seat, raising a brow.
“Kuna? What is it? You’re quiet.”
“Did he eat these fucking muffins?” You snort in laughter, shaking your head and walking over, sitting on his thigh and letting him roughly tug you against him on his lap. “I’m serious.”
“No muffins for him, silly man,” Sukuna shoves one at you. “Not a single one actually.”
“You need to eat, I don’t like that you lost weight when you’re needing to gain muscle and train,” you flush at just how much he cares, snuggling closer and taking the muffin in your hand, biting it. “You haven’t been eating for shit.”
“It’s because I’m a little stressed,” his lips quirk up, his hand brushing against your thigh, making you wince. “Ah…”
“And stiff. Do I need to come over and massage you tomorrow night?”
“You could,” he sighs, swiping a little blueberry off your lips, humming to himself. “Are you doing a match tonight?”
“Yeah but if you need me…”
“Gojo isn’t going to bother me.”
“Mhm.” He’s glaring as you take another bite. “He doesn’t give a fuck if you eat or not, and I have to worry because you’re not living with me.”
You blink at that, his big arm wrapped tightly around you, you thoughtfully chew the muffin, his eyes unreadable. “Would you want me to live with you?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” You blush now, he chuckles a bit. “Don’t blush when I say I’ll fuck your ass, but you blush about that?”
“Hush!” He’s breaking out in a laugh that pisses you off, you shove off him and he tugs you back, kissing you mean and brutal, the way that steals your breath.
“Thanks for breakfast, brat,” he murmurs softly. “I’ll be over to give you that massage tomorrow night. Yeah?”
You bite down on your lower lip, nodding. “Yeah.”
****
𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖚
He supposes now is his payback for the two months he’s spent fucking girls in your house and having you listen – to have Sukuna come over as if this goddamn place is his too, and look at your pretty face brighten up. Your eyes are all dazed like he’s got you hypnotized, your giggles louder once he’s apparently ‘massaging your sore muscles’.
Sure, that absolutely sounds like you’re getting ‘massaged’ – the squelching of your loud little cunt, the soft whines and sounds of skin smacking, to the point he’s dripping precum from his tip. He rushes over and opens the door, scowling at the both of you, before pausing, the sight of you like that ruining him.
“Do you all have to be so fucking loud?”
It sounds ludicrous to his own ears as he stands there, Sukuna’s got you bent over, cock buried deep, your tits are slipped out of that sweater, the big loose one he has tugged down, when your eyes lock with his. He hates that his cock is aching, hates another man’s hands on what’s all his, the way you look up at him somehow innocent and sweet even while you’re actively getting split open.
Sukuna pauses his strokes, pulling you up on your knees, taunting Satoru with the image when he slowly pulls that sweater up and off you. He can see the bulge of his cock in your tummy, something he wanted for himself, something he was dying to have when he took you the first time.
Now, who knows how many times you’ve been fucked by Sukuna?
You look back at Sukuna for just a moment, your expression entirely unreadable, he wraps a huge tattooed arm around your body, kissing you possessive, before he eyes Satoru. His brows lower and his smirk shows, slamming up into you again, your tits bounce with the movement, further making Satoru ache.
“Gonna stand there and watch?” He says then, Satoru scoffs, looking away now. “Didn’t you make her watch?”
“Yeah,” he supposes he put you through this too, but the difference was your goddamn eyes, and the way you roll your hips now just so. “I did.”
“Bet you’re gonna jerk it to this, huh?” Sukuna makes Satoru wanna kill him, cut his arms off that are wrapping yours. “Jerk it to her all the time don’t you?”
“Tch, can you two just…”
“Come on then,” Sukuna brushes a hand down your back, pushing you on all fours. “You don’t deserve it though.”
“Deserve…” He sees your hands clutching the blanket, your lips parted, he walks over tentatively, Sukuna’s eased his movements, far too familiar with your body already. Satoru stands in front of you and your hand slips up his cock over his pants, making him suck in a breath. “You’re this slutty already?”
“Only I call her that,” Sukuna murmurs, Satoru quickly tilts your chin back up, staring at the girl he knows he fucked up with, knowing he doesn’t deserve a touch from you.
“What do you want?” He asks for the first time ever, you pause and blink just a bit, sighing as Sukuna slowly fills you up.
“I don’t know,” you admit softly. “Just to… forget. To… not think.”
“Yeah,” he breathes out ever so softly, undoing his belt, his cock is dripping pre right on your blanket. You whine out, this sound he can’t get out of his fucking mind, a hand brushing your hair back and holding it. “I don’t want to think either.”
“Say please, because she’s doing you a favor,” Satoru scowls right at the giant pink haired man in his wife, but then falters as he sees your eyes.
“Please, suck me… if you want - ah,” your tongue laps at his tip, his grip tightens hard in your hair, as your mouth wraps him, and fuck he could almost bust from just that. He’s whimpering from one little suck and a kitten flick of your tongue, as you’re forced to take him deeper, Sukuna’s thrusts jolting your body. “Fuck… feels s’good I just…”
“Should thank me, I taught her,” Satoru wants to kill Sukuna, but he also wants to fuck your throat until it’s stretched out, till it burns and you think of him, he wants to look into your pretty eyes and imagine you’re only his, that he didn’t ruin it all. Instead, he’ll take anything from you, anything at all. “Praise her, don’t just fuckin’ stand there, she deserves it.”
You moan around his length, eyes fluttering shut when his fingers dig into your hips, pressing in the flesh there, and then you look up at him all cross eyes, his pink tip against your uvula. “You’re doing such a good job.”
You suck him deeper and whine around him, he wishes you didn’t know how, that he was the one to show it to you, but he fucking knows that’s insanity. He knows he had the chance and actively shoved you off, turned you down every moment you tried, and that he doesn’t in any way deserve to have you choking on him, your soft little moan echoing in his ears as his own mixes with your sweet sounds.
Even sucking cock and getting fucked you somehow are sweet, cute, the way your nails press into his thighs and your lashes flutter – how is someone this pretty mid blow job? Satoru has shared women with his best friend, he’s not new to it, but he’s never been fucking furious that another man existed, that he was getting to feel your surely pretty cunt wrap him.
Satoru is so lost in your eyes he hardly notices the giant man he hates easing into your cunt, he doesn’t fuck you hard, it seems more intimate than that, the way his hand slips down the curve of your spine. Your moan around Satoru’s length, eyes damn near unreadable when he brushes your hair back, going to pull it and then stopping himself.
“Do you want me to pull your hair?” You pause and pull back, saliva dripping down your lips in a thick string, connected to his tip, Sukuna’s hands tighten their grip on your hips visibly dimpling your flesh.
“You can, I like it,” he wishes you didn’t know that you did, but he’s too needy and aching too much to say anything.
Does he have a right to wish that?
He’s had how many girls suck his cock since you all ‘got married’?
At least three women, so what if you got with Sukuna, he gets it. Deep down he doesn’t even fucking resent you for it, he deserves much worse for all the terrible things he put you through – but there’s another part of him that’s feral, that’s tugging your hair and fucking into your throat, wanting it to have his shape.
He wants you to know him, have his cum pouring inside you, but for the moment he’s sucking in a breath, fucking into your tight little throat now, tugging your hair back.
“Fuck you’re doing s’good,” you whine out, he takes one of your hands, sucking your little fingers in his mouth, shoving his cock deeper and feeling you drool. “So good. fuck…”
“She is,” Sukuna murmurs roughly, fucking into your cunt with the loudest noises. “That praise has you soaked, brat, is he finally doin’ something right?”
“Fuck off, Sukuna.” Satoru moans out though, you’re taking him fully, to where your nose is flush in his white nestle of hair, choking on him so your throat constricts. “Are you wet for me, sweetheart?”
“Mmm,” you let him fuck your throat now, clinging to his wrists, letting him rock his cock faster, the sounds filthy, along with the slams of your cunt from Sukuna. You’re swallowing around him, ass arching back for more.
“Gonna cum around my cock, milk me?” Your little hum is your answer, but when your eyes lock with Satoru’s?
Satoru can’t handle the way that look fucking ruins him – how he’d do anything to keep it in his brain forever, that look of devotion he wasted mixed with this look of fucked out pleasure. He doesn’t think anything will ever hit him like your eyes, his cock twitching inside your throat in response.
“Go ahead and cum,” Satoru whispers, brushing your cheek with a finger as he pulls back and eases his cock back in your throat. “Let me see you.”
****
𝖄𝖔𝖚
You shatter with one more stroke of Sukuna’s cock in your snug, messy cunt, Satoru’s eerie blue eyes looking down at you with something akin to reverence, something you wonder must be your imagination. Yet his eyes, his cock choking you out mixed with Sukuna’s thick cock wrecking your hole sends you over the edge, you feel Sukuna grip your hips, Satoru cupping your face.
A girl who just a week ago was a virgin now has two nine inch cocks inside her – Sukuna’s buried to the hilt, a thumb pressed in your other hole, Satoru Gojo with his pretty pink tip buried in the back of your throat. You’re moaning around it when Sukuna angles his hips and has your cunt gushing, squirting down his thick, veiny length and dripping down his heavy balls, full of cum.
Pleasure has you dizzy, almost falling if Satoru and Sukuna didn’t hold you up, your hands clinging to Satoru’s dress shirt, trembling and quivering around Sukuna as your orgasm ruins you. Have you ever cum this hard before, you can’t say you have, there was nothing like having blue eyes on your face, and red eyes boring holes into your skin.
“Look how much you came, messy, slutty girl,” Sukuna cooes like a sweet name, for Sukuna he did mean it that way, scooping up some of that slick now, leaning forward to press his cock impossibly deep. “Squirting for us again.”
Satoru exhales, pulling back and twitching hot and heavy against your mouth, his voice breathy. “So p-pretty when you cum.”
Your tummy clenches, already weak from the pleasure Sukuna has brought you, with the added insanity of the man who ‘hates you’ and ‘doesn’t want you’ whimpering as you suck him. Satoru eases back now, tip glossing your lips with his salty pre, your tongue laps it up eagerly, feeling Sukuna’s own spurting light little trails against your puffy cervix.
“Where do you want this,” he asks softly. “I’m close.”
“She’s that good,” you look back at Sukuna, biting your lip, his red eyes are dark, his thrust possessive, as if to remind you that you’re his. You push back on him, earning his eyes rolling back. “Fuck, backing it up on me? Learn so well…”
Satoru tilts your chin back to look at him, cock twitching and leaking white trails of his seed down in rivulets. “You pick where, I’ll cum in my hand if you want, or anywhere on your body.”
“My mouth,” he shuts his eyes and exhales, Sukuna chuckles just a bit, pressing that thumb in your other hole deeper, making you suck in a breath. “Mnh! W-want you both to finish inside.”
“That’s my pretty little brat,” Sukuna leans over you, tilting your chin to kiss you all messy, tugging at your hair, before murmuring in your ear. “I’ll fill you up, fuck all that cum back inside, all you want.”
“Please,” you’re trembling now, lost in how good you feel – you can’t think about anything else, just how good he feels, Satoru’s stroking his cock and you can’t help but bite your lip then. How would he feel inside you?
Should you feel terrible wondering?
“Swallow all of it, like a good girl,” Satoru’s words fuck you up, Sukuna surely feels you clenching around him, pushing him to get closer with every quiver. “Fuck I mean… Please?”
“Mhm,” you open your mouth and he spits right in it first, the action filthy, his eyes damn near going cross as he slips his cock back inside, and Sukuna drags your ass back to slam your cervix. “Mnph!”
“Takin’ both of us so well,” Sukuna’s praise is rough, it’s sensual, the way he controls your body, while Satoru’s strokes are easier, tentative.
“So well,” Satoru agrees softly – praise, from him? You never thought you’d see that, have that, it almost feels like there is no reality where it exists. “Can you swallow all of me?”
He pulls back again, letting you speak. “Mmhmm.”
Satoru’s cock is back dragging heavy on your tongue, the soft tip gliding against the roof of your mouth as Sukuna twitches inside you, you’re moaning and making Satoru more sensitive, eyes rolling back when Sukuna slams against your cervix so hard it hurts. You cum again, sending Sukuna and Satoru right with you, one flooding your throat, the other your messy cunt.
You’re so full of them you can hardly think, swallowing somehow sweet cum, as so much floods your hole, Sukuna’s other finger easing out of your ass with a pop, his cock gliding in and out and pushing into your cunt. “Fuck… takin’ it like that, such a good girl…”
“F-fuck…” Satoru’s stuttering, his hips bucking as you drain him, glides his cock right down your snug throat and feels it contracting, you suck every drop down eagerly. When he pulls back he exhales, kneeling and kissing your lips.
Satoru’s kissing you.
Sukuna eases out with a wet, messy pop, gliding two fingers in the creamy mess he made and pulling you back, slipping his own release in your mouth. You suck them eagerly while Satoru kisses down your neck, exhaling and whispering your name in your ear, Sukuna does the same while you suck his fingers, glossy against those rough, calloused knuckles.
Your eyes meet Satoru’s carefully, still trembling and kneeling, his hands glide across your breasts almost worshipful with his movements, thumbs brushing against your nipples. You feel split into two pieces then – no you haven’t forgotten what he’s done, you don’t pretend to know who he is, but for a moment you see it – what could have been, what you could have felt.
It hurts more knowing there was something there.
Sukuna’s fingers leave your lips, now you have both men in your mouth, on your tastebuds – overwhelming you. You swallow nervously as Satoru kisses across your collarbones, one of your hands tentatively brushes his hair back, the other reaching back for Sukuna’s sure grip, feeling it wrap around your wrist.
“She’s perfect, isn’t she,” Sukuna says lovingly, even as he’s gruff, kissing across the back of your shoulders where you’re slick with sweat. “Too good for you.”
“She’s too good for you,” Satoru says, Sukuna raises a brow then smirks.
“Yeah, she is.” You go to protest when he nips your shoulder, your thighs and arms are trembling, his lips on your ear. “You’re all mine, even if I let you have him too. Mine, just mine, had you first, didn’t I? Came inside, I’ll fucking keep cummin’ inside you too.”
“Sukuna…” You trail off softly, sometimes his ruby eyes are insane, like right now, his huge hand cupping your face.
“You don’t get to fuck those other girls then come here and use her,” Satoru scoffs at that. “I’m serious, I won’t have her getting something off your slutty secretary.”
“I use condoms,” he admits quietly, looking at you now. “You certainly don’t – slutty don’t ya think?”
Why does the way he says that fucking ruin you?
“Why would I use a condom when I can cum inside her?” Sukuna chuckles, the two men silently scowling at each other. “Besides, it’s only her I’m with.”
Only you.
It screams the truth – that Satoru was up until the other day still actively fucking other women, and now you are with Sukuna, but Sukuna just gave you the opportunity to suck Satoru, he shared you even though he’d not have anyone. It means a lot to a girl who’s wracked with insecurities, leaving you to look at Satoru curiously.
“I’ll give you a moment, but just one.” He smacks your ass and grips either side, nuzzling your neck. “If you want one.”
You nod shyly, turning to kiss him, tasting his cum right off his mouth, easing to kneel and feeling how sore you are. “Yes if you’re okay with it, Kuna.”
“Yeah well, let’s see if his dumb ass stops inviting messy sluts over,” you expect Satoru to lose his shit about that statement – but instead his gaze is fixed on you, and you can’t read those goddamn eyes.
Who even is your husband?
Sukuna walks around blatantly naked when he shuts the door, Satoru helps you up, heat rises in your cheeks when his eyes see the creamy mess of your pussy, you see his cock is already hard again, twitching with his tip so pink it’s almost red. Satoru sits on the bed then, hand brushing across your face, eyes completely unreadable when they study you.
“You can still be with who you want,” you whisper softly, sighing now.
“Who I want, hah,” he laughs without humor, confusing you more than ever. “You think I want them?”
“Well, yes? Sukuna just gets…”
“Psychotic and possessive?”
“Yeah,” you blush even more now. “It makes me feel really special. I guess that wouldn’t make sense to you.”
“No it…” He sighs and looks back down, hand slipping across your tummy, it trembles underneath his touch, the sticky mess coating your inner thighs. “Do you want me to touch you?”
“I feel fucked for wanting it,” you admit, blinking rapidly as he studies you, tilting his head. “It doesn’t change what’s happened, or everything you did. I want Sukuna, and… I want…”
“Me?” He finishes softly. You look away again as his fingers brush the sticky mess of your cunt. “Hah, another man’s cum inside my wife.”
“Temporary wife,” you correct softly, before you cry out, his fingers grazing your clit, making your eyes jump up. “Remember?”
“Yeah,” he sighs, finding your clit with ease and rubbing, spreading Sukuna’s cum so that it’s sticky, staring right into your eyes as he runs circles, your own eyes flutter shut. “Look at me.”
“Why?” He uses his free hand to tilt your chin up.
“I wanna see if it’s different when you cum for me,” he whispers, earning your look of shock.
“Why would you care, wasn’t it just fun?”
“Fun,” he laughs without humor, slipping two fingers in your sore cunt now, you suck in a breath at the sensation, as Satoru peers down at the mess you’re making, white and gossamer just gushing down. “Fuck you’re so tight… pretty, beat up cunt, look at you, shit…”
He’s shoving them deeper, tugging at your hair now, rocking them up and down. “Gojo…”
“Satoru, fuck please,” he’s desperate now, lips parted, hovering over you and pressing your back into the bed. “Got me so pathetic I’m fingering Sukuna’s cum inside you, at least call me Satoru.”
You swallow, unable to speak or think, it was one thing to suck him – another for him to rock his fingers inside, looking at you with insane, desperate eyes. You swallow nervously, Sukuna had let you have Satoru but what does this mean? You easily fuck Sukuna alone, and Satoru is your husband, but it feels so different with him, when he kisses your lips.
“Bet you'd feel so perfect wrapped around me,” his voice is hoarse, toxic, laughing as his fingers rock up and down, faster and faster, making you dizzy, lashes fluttering. “Wish I could have broke it, fuck wish it was all me. Now look, your cunt is a mess, stretched out, ruining these sheets.”
Every word fucks you up more, his kisses bruising, teeth clicking it’s desperate, a hand tugging your hair.
“Can taste myself,” he hums, tongue swirling, hitting this spot that makes you hiss, clinging to him, pussy drooling. “I'd fuck you so hard you wouldn't be able to walk. Fuck every thought out of your head till you're dumb. God the things I'd do to you.”
“Gojo you're so – ah!” His eyes go dark, feral grin on his face – the man that didn't want this now desperate, insane, obsessed, making your cunt squelch so loud it's obscene.
“Just lemme feel it grip me,” he sighs now. Cock leaking pre all over again. Moaning when you tense up, teeth sinking on your lip, his long fingers pressing against your cervix. “Cum for me, just once for me.”
He curves them deep again, you let out a moan that’s embarrassing how loud it is, fingers fucking you faster and faster, heel of his hand grinding right on your clit, watching you shatter for him. You’re twitching, squirting down his hand, he moans at the sight of it, studying you with dark eyes so unreadable, pulling those fingers out to run up your slit.
“You do look different,” he whispers, rubbing all that mess and shoving his fingers in your mouth like Sukuna did, you wrap your lips around them obediently, his own part at the sight. “Fuck…”
“Hmm? Mnh!” Satoru’s kissing you again, drinking your cries up, thumb pressing your clit in circles. “Sensitive!”
“God I could watch you cum all day,” he whispers, you shake your head, tears suddenly hitting your eyes when he looks at you, pausing. “So fucking pretty…”
“You’re so fucking confusing, Satoru Gojo…” He sighs, resting his forehead on yours, fingers entwining in your hair and tugging.
“Yeah, I know,” he sighs and pulls back a bit when Sukuna walks back inside, crossing his arms in the doorway. “Lemme guess, my time is up with my wife?”
“Yep.”
“I’m not an object to give or receive,” you cut them off then, Sukuna smirks a bit at that.
“I like you standing up for yourself,” he comes over, tilting your chin up, thumb brushing across your jaw, studying your slick thighs and tensing a bit. “Did he at least make you cum, or is he shit at it?”
“He did,” you whisper, Sukuna hums and leans over you, cock already leaky and hard again, your hands grip his hair as you let him kiss you, he eyes Gojo over your head now.
“When will he beg for your forgiveness though?”
Satoru tenses as you pull back, looking down just a bit. “Kuna, I really want a shower. Can we take one?”
He cups your face and nods, picking you up and carrying you the way he does, leaving Satoru in the room. When he is running that water you hug his chest, letting his arms wrap around you tightly, the steam filling the bathroom.
“Why are you letting him… letting me…”
“Listen,” he tilts your chin up, your head falling back to look at him. “You haven't done shit before me, and you had feelings long before I met you. I'd rather you figure this out with me here to protect you.”
“Kuna,” you're in tears now, he shushes you and guides you to the shower, where the hot water beats down on you both. “I'm fine if it's only us. I am.”
“I know,” he tilts his head, hands coming to wrap your waist. “You were in love with him, and I'm brand new.”
“I didn't know him then, it was like some fairy tale to keep myself alive,” he frowns at that, ruby eyes narrowing. “I'm falling in love with you and it's really fucking scary.”
He says nothing and you immediately feel anxious, taking shaky breaths as he studies you. “And I am with you, all of you – including that sado masochistic part that likes that white haired fuck.”
You giggle then, shaking your head. “Sukuna!”
“You're mine, I'm your first,” he whispers possessively, turning you around so your ass presses against his thighs, kissing down the side of your neck. “First in your mouth, in your perfect cunt, had you bleeding all down me huh?”
“Insane,” his words ruin you, the heavy spray of the water beating down, his hands cupping your tits which are sensitive with your ovulation. “You are my first.”
“Remember that when he's inside you,” you blush at the thought, he runs a thumb across your nipple and bites your neck. “Mmm, I'll only share if he gets his shit together though, I swear to god if those secretaries come over again I'll make them cry.”
You giggle at that, grinning over your shoulder. “I feel so at home in your arms.”
He pauses now, sighing. “Yeah?”
“That and the boxing ring, it's the only place I've felt at home ever,” your lips tremble now. “If he's inside me, I would never forget where I feel at home.”
“Fuck, you ruin me every day,” he groans and kisses you roughly, desperate, needy kisses, before pulling back and laughing. “He really fingered my cum out of you?”
“You're so sadistic!”
“Should get him a fancy cuck chair.”
“A what!?”
“You're cute,” you have no clue what on Earth he's on about, his hand possessive on your tummy. “Imagine the Gojo heir with pink hair.”
Sukuna is truly batshit crazy.
*****
𝕾𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖚
Satoru can’t stop picturing your mouth wrapped around his cock the next day, how could he have pushed it all away, let you fall in love with Sukuna all to ‘save you’ and ‘protect you’. Perhaps it was the best thing, to protect you and keep you away from himself, give you the choice to find love with someone who clearly is obsessed with you, who you moan for and look at with hearts in your eyes.
Yet how the fuck does he explain the look you gave him when you sucked him, when he fingered your lover’s cum right from that pretty cunt? The one he could have had first easily, but he was so set on making sure you had your choice – well you chose him until he made sure you ran off.
Perhaps Satoru didn’t account for how he’d feel, how when he looked down in your eyes and you whispered that you wanted babies he wanted to fucking give you them. He wanted to give you anything and everything just to forgive him and forget all the horrible fucking shit he did, the time he wasted on women not even close to your caliber.
The clock ticks on the wall with the little sounds echoing loudly, his fingers tapping on the cherry wood of his desk, unable to focus on anything without you running through his mind. Perhaps before he tasted you, before he had your throat swallowing and gagging around him, before he cupped your face and saw the pain he inflicted…
Perhaps then he could act unaffected, act as if any of this was acceptable or normal to him in any way. Satoru couldn’t help but think to himself how terribly he fucking treated you, and he’s never even apologized – sure, that night he did, after taking you away from your parents, but couldn’t he have done more? Couldn’t he have done what Sukuna did?
All this talk of being different, was Satoru different from his shitty father and what he did to his mother? Or did he turn into the very fucking thing he hated?
His door knocks, drawing his attention away. “Come in.”
You are opening the door with a box, his heart hammers in his chest, lips parted as you pause at the door, clearing your throat. It was normal for you to ‘show up’ for the aesthetics of a wife, but you usually just brought something now from take out, that looks like one of the damn boxes you made that he fucking made you cry over, with that note.
How much can a man loathe himself? Satrou asks himself that as you hesitate and don’t walk in fully, a flush on your cheeks. “Is it okay if I…”
“Yeah,” he breathes out the words and stands, you shut the door behind yourself with a click and walk over to him, hands trembling when you hand him the little box. “You… made me something? Why the fuck would you?”
You flinch and he curses, shutting his eyes.
“As in I don’t deserve anything from you, not that I’m irritated,” you ease just a bit, it’s so clear the way you must remember the last time you came in, everything about you is tense and on edge, you’re fidgeting with your hands nervously, looking all pretty in your little dress today.
“I am bringing Sukuna one later,” you answer, earning his jaw setting.
“Oh so your husband and your lover?”
“Yes,” he sighs, shutting his eyes and setting it on the desk. “I felt like we… am I stupid to think that we had… a moment or something and… maybe it’s nothing…”
Satoru cups your face, his hands overtaking it, looking down at you with his lashes lowered, looking into your eyes, anxiety filled ones already glimmering with your emotions. “I can’t stop thinking about last night. Thinking of your mouth,” his thumb trails across it carefully, breath ghosting yours as he leans down. “Your slutty cunt and how she gripped my fingers.”
“Gojo…” You trail off now, chest rising and falling with your breaths, he’s pressing you against the desk now, his hands sliding down your neck, your shoulders, the sides of your breasts.
“Why do you still look at me like you could ever not hate me? Why not look at me like I fucking deserve?” You swallow and look down at his mouth, then flicker back up to his eyes.
“If we didn’t meet like an arranged couple, do you think you’d have hated me so very much?” You whisper softly, making him pause when his hands slip to your hips, gripping and tugging them close, your hands fall on his chest.
“I don’t hate you,” you shake your head now. “I don’t – I fucking hate myself.”
“You love yourself more than anyone I’ve ever seen,” your hands grip his dress shirt now, little shaky breaths escaping your lips. “Do you love to confuse me?”
“As if you don’t confuse the fuck out of me, think I ever thought I’d finger some man’s cum? That I’d damn near beg to eat it out of you?” Your eyes get dazed, your pupils dilated, but your jaw is set, even as he bars you against that desk, arm on either side of you.
“You, eat someone out? Laughable,” he snorts just a bit, blue gaze flickering across your face, your throat, your pretty tits barely visible in that neck line. “Do you hate me less because I made you cum?”
“I don’t fucking hate you –” you scoff and he slams his lips on yours, moaning into the kiss as the door opens, and you both hear a gasp.
“Satoru!” He glares at the door as Jennifer rushes in, coming right up to the two of you now. “What’s she doing here!?”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He says now, at his wit’s goddamn end with this girl, at least Chloe fucked off when he sent her. “I’m kissing my wife.”
His wife.
You’re his wife, for now, until you left him for Sukuna – until you gave him babies and were happy, Satoru could only hope to worship you until then, to beg for any bit of you that you gave – the pieces that he doesn’t deserve. Your pretty eyes looking up at him in that way that ruins his soul, your taste on his lips.
“The wife that is with another man?” You blink and look at her when she comes right up to you, snatching you up. “You want him suddenly, huh?”
You flinch once more – Satoru knows that’s your response even after the way you’ve changed, Satoru snatches Jennifer’s wrist so quickly she almost falls, tugging her off you and seeing her trembling lips and fake ass tears. “Don’t fucking touch her.”
She pouts as you rub your wrist, curling into yourself and hurting his fucking soul.
How could he have hurt you like your parents did? Not physically, but didn’t he do his damage?
“Satoru, I’m just-”
“Get your shit and go home, you’re fired,” you blink a bit and look at him incredulously, as Jennifer gasps.
“You want the world to know that I slept with you, what she is doing!?”
He laughs softly, walking over as she tries to fucking cling to him, opening the door. “Say what the fuck you want, like I give a fuck. Get out.”
“Satoru please I-”
“Suguru?” He shouts for his partner in his office across the busy room, he stands up curiously, the whole of the floor staring at the scene happening. “Can you please help Ms. Jennifer with her things and give her a letter of recommendation?”
“You can’t be serious!” She hisses, Satoru rolls his damn eyes, Suguru immediately comes up and sees you curiously behind Satoru, curiously clearing his throat.
“Sure, Satoru,” he says, gently taking her arm and shutting the office door, leaving the two of you alone in the quiet, his head resting on the door for a moment.
“Did I ruin that for you?” He looks back, narrowing his eyes and seeing you trembling, hugging yourself just a bit. “I know you were with her-”
“I couldn’t care fucking less, she shouldn’t have barged in and put her damn hands on you,” he walks over and takes yours in his own, studying them quietly. “I should have done more with your fucking parents.”
“I don’t think so,” you whisper, looking where his hand joins yours.
“Sukuna beat your dad, the night he fucked your pretty little cunt first, didn’t he?” Your eyes dilate, his voice breaking in the middle with his desperation about to ruin him utterly. “That’s what you wanted.”
“It’s not! I asked him not to, he just…”
“Loves you?” You look down again, earning him tilting your chin up. “He is in love with you.”
“He hasn’t said that yet but he cares for me, yes, very much so,” you suck in a breath when he rests his head on yours, breaths mingling together in the quiet of his office, with the sunlight filtering in.
“You love him.”
“I’m falling in love, yes.”
“Could you ever not hate me?” He asks now, tears filling his own eyes, you bite your lower lip, eyes glittering with unshed tears. “I’m not asking you to not love him, not fuck him, I earned that shit, I know.”
His fingers slip your dress up, gripping the smoothness of your thighs, the tension making him fucking ache, cock throbbing and leaking pre, dying to bury himself inside you. “What are you asking then?”
“For a taste of you, a goddamn piece of you until you finally get to leave me,” he sinks to his knees and looks up at you with his hands slipping your panties down, watching your thighs shaking, that slick on the inner parts of it. “Any of you that you wanna give me, I know I don’t deserve it.”
“Y-you want to… but you don’t…” You’re bare to him, he’s looking right at you, inhaling that sweet scent, you jerk when his breath tickles your skin.
“Let me lick your pretty cunt,” he murmurs, he never thought he – Satoru Gojo – would be begging to eat pussy, with his arranged, cheating little wife of all people, but he can’t imagine not lapping you desperately. “Let me drown in you.”
“You want to drown in me?” Your thigh shakes when he puts it over his shoulder, the noise of his office drowned out by the blood rushing in his ears and the heart beat racing.
He sighs, lashes fluttering when he inhales you. “Let me, fuck just let me taste you, how pathetic do you need me?”
You lean back on his desk, arching your hips and making him moan out loud, parting your plump lips and watching wetness trickle out, hearing your little gasp when he touches you.
“You’re soaked, sweetheart,” he murmurs, nose bumping your clit when his mouth kisses on your cunt – Satoru’s never bothered to be down like this, never cared to put in that much work with a woman.
Until you.
He’s dying to have you shatter for him, just once before you go.
Your answer is to blush all cute like you’re not ruining two grown ass men, hand gripping his white locks, and a little nod.
If Satoru wasn’t already fucked mentally from you before, he was now.
****
𝖄𝖔𝖚
Satoru looks at you with those blue eyes, the ones you can’t figure out to save your damn life, then he surges forward, clumsy and starving.
It's not skilled like with Sukuna, who knew exactly where to lick and suck to absolutely destroy you, it’s messy and desperate. His mouth presses against your clit as he targets it, sucking the twitchy little thing in it – wet and hot, his tongue lavishing you without any rhythm. He’s not even close to your spots but the way he whines out, the way he whimpers against you.
It’s impossible to not fall for those bright blue eyes, burning gaze as he’s drowning in you, his hands dragging you against his face. Your own are flying to his hair, his clumsy mouth devouring you so goddamn desperately, your own slick dripping across his pretty face as you lose yourself, arching further into him, your hips pressing against his face further.
“Why do you have to taste like this?” He whispers, voice thick with desire and his mouth full of your slick. His eyes darken as those pupils blow out, sliding a finger into your needy cunt, fucking right against your cervix and making you gasp, hands tugging at the roots of his hair. "See what you fucking do to me?”
You can hardly register the devastating way he learns your body, your eyes fluttering shut, Satoru adding another, stretching you out, scissoring them inside that needy, messy cunt that squelches. “Gojo…”
“Satoru, fuck,” he muffles those words against you, tongue flicking faster on your clit, his other hand stroking himself, before he sucks it and starts moaning, all messy with your cunt drooling on his face.
You’re overheated and dizzy as his fingers – long and thick – start pressing against your spot, he keeps analyzing you even while he’s messy, needy, honing in on every way you arch and tremble.
“Cum, fuck… just cum on me…” You’re crying out when he accidentally flicks his tongue just right, whining out when he’s standing and turning you around, sinking his fingers right back inside as he bends you over his desk. “Don’t think of him right now, don’t.”
“Did you fuck her on here?” You look back even as your cheeks are flushed, his fingers moving up and down, his lips brushing your neck, teeth sinking in your delicate skin. “How many times since we’ve been together?”
“I couldn’t count,” he admits now, pulling his fingers back just before you can cum, sucking your taste off them with his cheeks hollowing. “How many times has he cum inside you?”
“I couldn’t count,” you answer, his lips messy and mean as you unwillingly arch for him.
"Does he make you this wet?” Satoru’s undoing his belt, lifting your thigh and toying with that slit slowly, watching it drip down. “So wet you drip on the floor?”
“He does,” you admit now, whining out when you feel the blunt of his tip slipping down your slit, making you tremble. “He eats pussy better than you, he makes me squirt all over.”
“I can’t stand you,” he says with a soft laugh, tugging at your hair hard, making your head fall back, his tip hitting your clit and making you jolt. “I told you I didn’t fucking know how, mean little brat.”
“Me, mean? W-what a fucking joke, ngh,” you can’t do this, you can’t fucking do this, even if Sukuna told you that it’s fine, even if he swears that he’ll still want you. How can you fuck Satoru Gojo?
How can you fuck the man that broke you?
How is he the same man that just begged to taste you, the one positioning himself, making your eyes roll back. “I wish I fucked you first, wish your blood slid right down my cock like it did his.”
“Psycho,” you whisper out, scowling right at him, your hands gripping the desk as his hand lifts your thigh, tip taunting you. “Just fuck me, what are you waiting for? Wanna chat and have lunch?”
“You are mean now, fuck,” he’s moaning as if you being mean makes him harder, before he slams his lips on yours and shoves his cock inside you. “Oh my… f-fuck… you’re so…”
He says nothing for a moment, length buried all the way inside your cunt, as you’re throbbing around him, desperately trying to handle how full you are. “How many women were you inside, h-huh?”
“None of them fucking matter,” he gasps out, pulling back and slamming in, the sound messy and filthy. “None felt like you, god no one… perfect little cunt, fuck you for it.”
“Fuck you, Satoru,” he whimpers as he fucks into your cunt, and you can feel his tip dragging your spot, making you sensitive, gasping out for a breath, ass arching despite your words.
“You hate me, don’t you? You fucking hate me,” he moans now, burying his face in your neck, slamming into you harder, a hand coming to wrap your throat, squeezing ever so gently. “You should hate me, you shouldn’t let me inside you, shouldn’t even let me w-watch you with him.”
You hate his words and how desperate they are, you hate how good he feels when he steals your breath, you hate that you both could have been doing this instead of what he made you endure. You hate him utterly and completely, even as your eyes roll back in your skull and his pelvis slams that thick, lengthy cock even deeper inside your walls.
“I do hate you,” you whisper – nothing like with Sukuna, who you’re falling in love with every moment more and more, with Satoru it’s hatred, it’s toxic and terrible, even as he feels so sinfully good. “I do.”
“Good baby, you should,” he kisses you and squeezes your throat, shoving so deep inside that you almost scream out if he didn’t shush you with his kisses. “Cunt was made for me.”
“No it wasn’t,” your answer makes him glare, fucking you harder, mean with it, somehow reverently kissing you as his cock wrecks you, and you feel yourself even closer. “Mnh!”
“Was it made for Sukuna, baby? Does he hit your spots like this?” He slams in again and you whine out, looking into his dazed, psychotic eyes.
“He does,” your answer makes him moan, squeezing harder and burying his cock to the hilt, his hand snatching up yours, putting it on your clit. “Ah…”
“Play with that slutty lil clit f’me,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut when you spasm around him. “He showed you, huh? What to do?”
“Yes,” you whisper softly, letting his long fingers guide your own, the mess of your slick falling, when he whimpers, kissing you desperately, the pressure of his cock in your cunt making you shatter. “Ngh!”
“Don’t stay quiet,” he whispers – psychotically as fuck when you try to bite your lip, your clit twitching underneath your fingers as he slams deeper. “Make that noise, let ‘em hear me fucking you, your slutty cunt’s so goddamn loud.”
“You’re… whimpering l-like… a bitch,” he grins at that, laughing and kissing you. “Don’t make me like you.”
“You like my cock,” you’re spasming, his fingers taking over when yours fall, pinching your clit between two of them and watching you fall apart again, sucking in a breath for a moment at your rolled back eyes, the way your brows draw together. “Fuck you’re beautiful.”
“D-don’t… say that… please,” you barely manage coherent words as you squirt down his length, hips twitching, Satoru cups your face and looks at you with those blue eyes that were once cruel, now they’re desperate, his pupils so big they look black.
“So beautiful, fuck you are, god I w-wish I said it before,” you feel your emotions hit when he buries his cock to the hilt, crying out with his weight pressing you onto the desk.
“Gojo…” He pulls back and his cock slips out, dripping down on the floor with the creamy mess you two have made, sitting you on the desk and fucking you face to face, eyes tortured and so black they’re terrifying with those white lashes.
“Satoru,” you shake your head, even as he kisses you desperate and needy, slamming his cock so deep you feel him all over, curved tip bruising your puffy cervix, you’re crying out into his mouth, nails digging into his back over the dress shirt. “Perfect, you’re perfect, fuck you’re s-so… tight, so wet, so…”
You don’t answer him, you can’t think when he takes you over, ruining your mind just like Sukuna does, making you not think.
You can hardly breathe with his kisses, nose brushing against yours, breath ghosting your swollen lips. “Lemme cum inside, fuck… please, please…”
“You shouldn’t get to,” he sighs and pauses, hands tugging you even further down, shoving up your dress to look at the bulge move, moaning at the sight.
“I’m inside you, filling you,” you swallow – throat gone dry, his tie is crooked, collar coming undone, his hair falling out of its usual perfect place. Satoru is a mess, a whimpering mess for you, whispering your name like a devotion, his lips still taste like your slick. “Wanna fill you, have my cum coat those slutty walls. Please, what the fuck do you do to me?”
Sukuna asks that – what do you do to them?
You take a shaky breath, hand brushing over his undercut, his tip leaking as he thickens inside you, tugging him down for a kiss, making him moan into your mouth, tongue bullying yours, sucking all your oxygen till you can’t breathe. “Satoru.”
“Oh my fuck,” he busts inside you, burying his face in your neck as he takes over your body, teeth sinking into them as he bites and sucks, as if he’s marking you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… god… n-never felt it that good…”
He’s mumbling as he floods your cunt with white, the warmth spreading in your core, you cling to him weakly, thighs spasming as he spills down his own length with the force of your orgasm. His teeth nip under your chin, his eyes drugged when he looks down at you, cock still pulsing as your aftershocks milk him for all he’s worth.
It’s quiet, then.
You hate Satoru Gojo even more now.
You hate that you could have had this if he wasn’t so horrible.
He brushes a tear aside, sighing and kissing your closed eyelids. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“For what this time?” You ask then, swallowing when he rests his head on yours. “For everything?”
“Yes,” he breathes out the words, pushing into your sore cunt. “Sorry I sent you to another man, now I have to watch you with him and dream you’re mine.”
You don’t know how much pain you can take, wanting to forgive and love a man that did this to you, torn now between what’s toxic and terrible, and what’s toxic and loving.
Sukuna was toxic too, but he loved you.
What did Satoru feel?
“I won’t stop seeing Sukuna,” he sighs and glares at you. “Just because we fucked. I am falling for him.”
“And what do you feel for me?” He asks, slipping his fingers across your cheek, blue eyes drinking in your face as his words brush over you. “Just hatred?”
“I don’t know,” you whisper brokenly. Taking a breath he eases out of you, his fingers slipping through the creamy, gooey mess, pressing it back in. “What are you doing, mnh!”
“His turn to play in my cum,” Satoru smirks as you glare at him. “Will you hate me less if I tell you I’ll never fuck Jennifer again?”
“And Chloe?” You stand up with his help, he sucks the mess of you two off, kissing you with it, your hands crumbling that fancy dress suit.
“Never, don’t care if I have to share you,” he sighs those words into your mouth.
“Really?” You look up at him, and he’s dead serious, nodding.
“No one,” you swallow nervously, backing off finally, thighs trembling. “Lemme guess, you gotta visit your boyfriend?”
“I do…” You adjust your dress, taking a shaky breath, laughing just a bit.
“What?”
“I guess since we’re all gonna be…” You trail off, what the fuck even are you three? “Well, what are we all going to do for dinner tonight?”
He smirks a bit. “I’ll let you and fucking ‘Kuna’ pick.”
*******
You swallow nervously as you walk over to Sukuna in his office after the gym is closing, and his gaze drifts across your neck, your shoulders, seeing how tense you are.
“I need to talk to you,” you whisper now, he just sets your lunch down and tugs you onto his lap, you gasp when you straddle him right in that chair. “Kuna I need to tell you-”
“He fucked you,” you swallow and nod. “I told you it was fine if you did, why are you panicking?”
You bite down your lower lip, entire body trembling when he cups your face. “How are you not disappointed, mad?”
“Why the fuck would I be, hmm?” He smirks now, his hands pressing so hard into your thighs they’re bruising. “Question is, did you tell him he sucked?”
You laugh with tears in your eyes. “I told him he sucks at eating pussy, and whimpers like a bitch?”
“Good girl,” you both laugh softly, your hands slipping up his chest, when he shoves your dress up, his pink lashes flickering, jaw setting as he gets serious now. “Pull my cock out.”
You bite down on your lip, doing just as he commands with his gaze serious now, crimson eyes flashing dark once he’s in your hold. He tugs your panties aside and eyes the mess your cunt is, raising one of his brows as he pulls the elastic.
“He cum inside that needy little cunt?” His voice is hoarse, you exhale, nodding, when he sits you on his cock and shoves all the way in, no prep, no touch, just slams it to the hilt, making it burn.
“Ah!” You’re trembling as he grips your hips bruisingly, lifting you and slamming you down once more, the burn and stretch making tears prick your eyes, ones he kisses off your cheeks, the little salty drops on his lips as you cry out from the stretch, the pain that’s so sweet.
“I told you I’d fuck his cum out, huh?” A little gasp escapes when Sukuna bounces you up and down his length, Satoru’s cum slipping down on his own cock with the mess of your own. Your eyes roll back, desperate gasps escaping your lips. “Slutty cunt didn’t need my fingers, did she? She wants all that cum, doesn’t she?”
“W-want yours, please,” he slams you down so hard you’re crying, sniffling out, nails digging into his bare shoulders. “Please, please…”
Satoru begged for you.
You’re begging for Sukuna.
“Show me you want it, brat, lemme see,” you rise up and down, your thighs sore and aching, Sukuna’s teeth biting where Satoru sucked. “I’ll mark you worse, fuckin’ bruise every beautiful inch of you.”
“K-Kuna… ah!” He sucks hard on your neck, moaning as you drip down his heavy balls, ready to breed your hole better than Satoru could, his words filthy, whispering your name like a mantra as he guides your hips, you’re lost in him, dizzy and floating, the pain the only thing keeping you tethered.
You fucked Satoru and he came inside – now Sukuna is fucking his cum out, and letting it drip down his cock.
You’re utterly torn, lost in the high that Sukuna gives, with the lows that Satoru is trying to fix, wondering if you can love two men, wondering if either of them could truly love you. Sukuna slams you down and pins your hips, making you wriggle and cry out, sniffling from the pressure, he groans.
“So pretty crying, is it too much, baby?” He taunts, gaze flickering. “Can’t you take me?”
“I can,” you sniffle more, trying to ride him, thighs shaking, head falling forward as he bites your neck again. “Kuna…”
“Make yourself cum,” his hand slips up your throat, tightening and squeezing, voice devastating. “Milk me for all that cum your slutty cunt needs, that’s it – take what’s yours.”
The maddening rhythm of you working him as he sits there, watching you ride him, grinding your cunt right on him so you drip down his pants, dress rumpled from two sets of hands on it – you’re lost in it, cunt aching.
When Sukuna pumps cum inside, teeth biting harder until a little bit of blood drips down your neck, you’re almost about to faint. Dizzy when he’s kneeling and you’re up on his desk, your thighs spread – you hardly realize he’s videoing it, the sight of all that white pouring, scooping it up and shoving it back inside.
“Kuna why’d you video?” You murmur, just for you to get a text from Satoru. You glare at him and he’s chuckling like a psycho. “You sent it to him!”
“I sure did,” he shoves his fingers deep in your sore hole, his lips trailing up your neck, your phone falling from your hand. “So, what are we having for dinner, brat? Are you cooking?”
Your phone keeps going off, you take a shaky breath, cunt a mess of both men pouring out of you. “Satoru said you pick?”
Sukuna snorts and kisses you, tilting his head. “I’ll pick then,” he nudges your neck, sighing and tugging you close. “Did you really tell him he sucks at eating pussy?”
“I really did!”
“I guess I’ll have to teach the little fuck, but,” he trails off and tilts your chin up. “He won’t ever make you cum like I can.”
Sukuna kisses you, he’s so rough you’re weak, not gentle or easy – like he’s kissing every frustration out, all you can do is fall into his arms, unsure of just what the fuck happened, and how you make any sense of it. You’re married and you have a boyfriend, one who is laughing sadistically as he marks every spot Gojo did even harder.
How does this end up?
plz be respectful in the comments as this was a LOT OF WORK - and I'll repeat again - THREE ENDINGS LMAO
Patreon for more exclusive fics - Kofi link for commissions <3
synopsis: You were tired of having random, unsatisfying hookups.. and so was your old med school friend, Shoko. After another drinking binge and a bad hookup, Shoko sets you up on a blind date. With nothing to lose and no other excuse, you accept.
overview: an unlikely friendship forms after sukuna lets you copy his answers on the first day of university. now, four years later, you won't leave him alone and while he may act like you're insufferable, he wouldn't have it any other way.
contains: fluff, some crack, profanities, malapropism, rugby player!sukuna, physics, fraternity antics, parties, alcohol and drugs, uncle sukuna and baby yujiiii, kind of grumpy x sunshine, eventual smut(?)
status: ongoing
1. wednesday and worksheets
2. texts and lunches
3. jerseys and malapropisms
4. banishment and babysitting
5. play dates and perturbance
6. new posts and strange feelings
7. flying fists and flirtations
8. workloads and teething
9. car wash and the park
10. twins and tension
11. five men and a baby
note: i can never leave this man alone, i'm sorry y'all </3 inspired by sukufalke's modern!sukuna tweets! art by su2kuna <3
⤿ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ [ᴍᴅɴɪ] - suggestive content / suggestive language / down BAD gojo / angsty-ish
⤿ ᴡᴄ - 5.3k
ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
✺
satoru didn’t register the extent to which he missed you until he started seeing you in everything he did.
if he watched a show, he’d predict which scenes would have made you laugh in that subtle way you did. if he chose a playlist for the gym, he opted for yours instead of his. little things like that.
maybe he was losing his mind. not in the pacing the room kind of way, but the quieter kind that sneaks up on you when something that used to be routine suddenly isn’t.
satoru hadn’t seen you in four days.
four.
granted, it was ridiculous, really, you weren’t together, nor were you attached at the hip and you were both busy people with lives that existed outside of each other.
still. four days.
he knew you visited your brothers four days ago and only got back a day ago in which you’d been swamped with this stupid group project that, naturally, had one guy who was lacking and lazy, forcing you to carry the weight.
he could be patient, right?
satoru was seated on the living room couch, one leg slung over the armrest as his phone rested against his chest.
the house buzzed with the usual chaos around him, music thumping in one of the guys’ rooms, someone yelling about the party this weekend, laughing across the room. the usual.
satoru barely heard any of it, glancing down at his phone for the sixth time the past fifteen minutes.
nothing. just a stupid notification from sukuna bitching about one of the pledges and demanding punishment.
he frowned. he could text you, right?
satoru liked to think you were friends. it is in the name after all, friends with benefits.
fuck it.
gojo : busy?
7:03pm
the reply came five minutes later, a grueling and irritating five minutes.
trouble : yes. ppl are incompetent.
7:08pm
despite it all, his lips tipped up in appreciation, mind whirring with thoughts of the little pout that probably painted your pretty features, narrowed eyes and a huff. fuck, he missed you.
gojo : that guy still giving you trouble?
7:08pm
satoru sighed gently, moving to sit properly, elbows rested on his knees as he watched the little dots appear.
trouble : he’s giving me an aneurysm.
7:10pm
satoru chuckled gently, smirking as he typed a response.
gojo : you know what helps with aneurysms? good dick
7:10pm
your reply came instantly this time and he was more than amused.
trouble : hmm. ill let u know if i find some then.
7:11pm
satoru smirked, heart clenching as he longed to have this stupid conversation in person.
gojo : now don’t make me offer myself up like a whore sugar tits
7:11pm
the reply came instantly again, expected with the nickname he threw in that you despised more than anything.
trouble : right. pass. have to study now bye
7:11pm
and just like that, the light he felt momentarily passed with a small huff from him.
he was absolutely done for.
he’d always heard people bitch about how the person you’re with shouldn’t be the sole source of your happiness, that they should be an addition. well, that simply couldn’t be true, right?
because it seems as if, these days, satoru’s entire energy is dependent on you.
across the room, geto glanced up from his place rotting on the couch, “what’s up? someone finally tell you santa isn’t real?”
satoru rolled his eyes, tossing his phone on the couch beside him with a grunt, “shut up.”
geto hummed, amused, “trouble in paradise?
“we’re not in paradise.”
geto hummed, “is that why you’ve been all antsy the past few days?”
satoru glanced at his friend, annoyance flickering in his chest. had he made it that obvious? how infatuated was he that even his friends could tell he was restless without you?
maybe it was the high he was missing, yes.
he missed being inside you, buried in your warmth. he missed spilling inside of you and feeling that sweet semblance of relief and ecstasy.
most of all, he missed watching you come apart for him, as well. it was the few moments you were completely vulnerable with him. sex always rendered you soft and needy and fuck, he missed that part of you like a drug.
four fucking days.
he wasn’t needy or clingy. if anything, he was always the one who suddenly disappeared on girls, deciding only with himself when he was finally bored.
but with you? the silence felt wrong.
later that night, he found himself staring at your text thread again.
he typed something then deleted. and again.
fuck, he felt restless, unreasonably so.
it wasn’t like you owed him your time but still.
four days felt like a lot when he was used to you showing up in his room unannounced, immediately being the object of his affections.
his phone buzzed again and he jumped.
except it wasn’t you, just another useless notification.
he was absolutely pathetic.
maybe he just liked the routine, the sureness.
he liked knowing you’d show up eventually, standing against his doorframe with that same pretty and unreadable expression on your face, a dry comment on the tip of your tongue that always made his chest ache for you.
maybe he just liked-
his phone buzzed again and thai time, he didn’t pretend he wasn’t waiting for it. for you.
he checked instantly and found nothing.
just a stupid notification.
satoru sighed gently.
four days was excessive.
✺
with his demanding training regimen, satoru couldn’t indulge his sweet tooth as often as he’d liked.
but once a week, he’d allow himself to get the most obnoxious, calorie dense and sugary drink he could find.
so that’s where he found himself on a tuesday morning, walking into the cafe that smelled like roast beans and burnt sugar. soft music hummed under quiet conversations and the steady clack of keyboards.
you’d like this place, he concluded.
it was calm and warm, annoyingly productive.
as he stepped forward to order, ignoring the batting lashes and googly eyes of the barista taking his order, a small crash sounded from the side, making his head tilt to see that someone had dropped their glass.
but behind that-
“sorry, what was that?” the barista softly questioned, having not caught satoru’s words initially because she was too busy watching him.
but satoru was long gone by now, mind far away and pre-occupied with something of much deeper importance to him than his weekly treat.
he spotted you instantly, of course he did.
you were tucked into the corner by the window, laptop open and wired headphones dangling in the space between. one foot hooked around the leg of the chair, something you did when you were studying for extended periods of time. your hair was falling loose from your little updo, doe eyes flicking across whatever you were reading.
satoru felt something in his chest loosen but tighten simultaneously at the sight of you, annoyingly so.
satoru was quick to resist the urge to leave his place in line and walk towards you like he you’d summoned him, quickly turning back to the barista and rattling off his diabetes-inducing order.
he was quick to add, “and uh, one of those banana breads with the chocolate.”
the barista nodded with a soft smirk, eyes still assessing him like a greek god had entered the establishment.
with a quick thanks, without even letting her get a word in as he quickly taping his card, he was walking away, towards you. you, who had him going insane the last few days because of your mere absence.
you were so engrossed in whatever you were reading, you didn’t notice him approaching until all his 6’5 glory was looming over your space.
your eyes lifted slowly, blinking once. then you leaned back in your chair a bit, expression unchanged, “you don’t drink coffee.”
satoru slid into the chair across from you, trying to calm his excruciatingly dramatic heart at the sight of you. you were so pretty and so his. well, somewhat.
“look at you, knowin’ everything about me, “ he smirked as he leaned back in his seat, “obsessed with me or somethin’?”
you simply tilted your head, eyes wide and uncharacteristically soft, “what are you doing here?”
“getting coffee.”
“you don’t drink coffee.”
satoru merely smiled even wider. fuck, he was so happy to see you.
“trying new things.”
your eyes narrowed slightly, “you’re getting your double chocolate frappuccino, aren’t you?”
satoru grinned, “ugh, you are obsessed with me.”
you merely sighed, pushing your laptop slightly to the side as you gave him your full attention now.
four days. four days and he felt like a man coming home from war.
“are you coming this weeke-”
“no.” your reply came instantly as satoru groaned at your immediate answer.
“why do you always do this?”
“why do you always do this? why do 40% of our conversations consist of you convincing me to come to your stupid parties-”
“they aren’t stupid!”
you merely shot him a look, sighing gently as you glanced down at your laptop once more.
satoru leaned forward, going to speak when someone approached the table.
“one frappuccino,” the guy placed the large drink in front of satoru, but the frat president couldn’t help but notice the barista’s eyes were flickering to you, “and one banana bread.”
he placed the banana bread in front of satoru who instantly moved it to you.
before he could explain that he’d gotten that for you because he knew how much you adored the little treat, the barista was blushing as he placed another matcha in front of you, “you’ve been here for hours, thought i’d get you another one on the house.”
satoru looked as if someone had spit on his shoe, eyes narrowed and lips curled instantly as he glanced between both of you, watching as your expression softened.
“oh, thank you, nico.” your voice dropped low, softer than usual and satoru felt like you’d punched him in the ribs.
“course, let me know if you need anything else.” with his red cheeks and small smile, nico sighed softly before retreating.
you seemed unfazed, pulling your new drink in closer before glancing up at the white-haired man who immediately made a conscious effort to fix his face.
“huh.” he commented as you tilted your head.
“what?”
“you know him or somethin’?” satoru questioned, watching as you took a sip of your matcha, shrugging gently.
“i’ve been coming here since sophomore year. he’s also in my neuro class.”
in moments like these, satoru despised your nonchalance more than anything. your voice was neutral, face even more stoic as you merely sipped your drink.
he couldn’t tell if you felt for this guy, if you liked him.
fuck, he felt ill.
satoru was not the jealous type, not even a little bit.
even with you, he watched guys look at you a plethora of times, during parties and simply on campus. but he barely cared.
he wasn’t sure if it was because he knew you and knew you wouldn’t give them the time of day or simply because he gets it.
you were fucking gorgeous, of course guys looked at you.
at the end of the day, it was his sheets you were tangled up in, so why should he dwell on it?
but there was something intimate with nico that he despised.
it didn't help that you’d known the guy longer than you’d known satoru.
“i got you banana bread. eat it.” satoru pushed the plate forward, watching asyour eyes tilted down to the loaf, eyes instantly brightening up just the slightest bit.
which was basically a hug and a kiss from you.
“thank you, gojo.”
you were gonna send him into cardiac arrest with your insistence to call him that.
nonetheless, he watched you dig into the treat, sighing gently.
“you have to come this saturday.”
you rolled your eyes instantly, “have to?”
“yes. i got you banana bread.”
you eyes narrowed, “that’s not how this works-”
satoru groaned, “please. just come. it’ll get your mind off everything, give you a little break.”
you gestured to your laptop again, “i’m busy.”
satoru allowed a small stretch of silence, watching as you went back to typing, occasionally sipping your stupid free matcha.
“come to the party.” the words left satoru quieter, gentler as he watch you through bright lashes.
his tone made you look up, interest piquing just the slightest bit.
“why?”
because i miss being around you, i miss doing everything i can to get you to laugh, i just miss you.
but he didn’t say that,. because if he did, you’d run faster than he could catch up to you.
he shrugged gently, “i like when you’re there.”
your gaze held his for a moment longer than usual before sighing softly, “i’ll think about it.”
satoru grinned slowly, knowing that was basically a yes from you.
he stood up from his chair making you look up once more, “you’re leaving already?”
and he knew you well enough to know that it wasn’t coming from a place of wanting him to stay, but surprise that he wasn’t opting for pestering you for the next hour.
“i got a party to plan.”
you tilted your head, “since when do you plan the parties?”
satoru shrugged, “since today. got an important person on the guest list now.”
you rolled your eyes, “go away.”
satoru grinned, backing up onwards the door, “see you tonight.”
you waved him off dismissively and satoru ignored the clench in his chest that only you could illicit. fucking finally.
✺
giving saturo a taste of you once more had him practically insatiable.
so much so that the man found himself in the back of your lecture room beside a mildly irritated nanami the very next morning.
satoru gojo, not only willingly attending class, but a lecture for a class he wasn't even in. a class that wasn't even the slightest bit beneficial for his course of study.
alas, he was forced to listen to your professor drone on and on about medical terms he doesn't have the slightest inkling about.
he hadn't seen you, properly seen you, in almost a week. he deserves this!
"you're a nuisance." nanami murmured, glancing down at his notes lazily before looking at the professor once more, satoru turning to shoot him a short glare.
"and why's that, kento? can't a guy develop new interests?"
nanami shot the man the driest look he could muster before facing away from him once more.
satoru wasn't even pretending to listen to the professor, seated like a king, legs manspread and fingers drumming against the armrests as he watched you from his place in the back.
you were seated where you always were, the middle right section, all pretty and focused, fuck, you were everything.
there was an a girl seated beside you and some random guy was to your left, both people completely irrelevant to satoru, because well, how could they be? they were beside you.
you hadn't spotted him yet, no, because if you did, he'd be six feet under by your glare alone, he was sure.
"kento, hey-" satoru whispered, eyes still fixated on you as the blonde turned to the frat president briefly.
"what satoru."
satoru shifted a bit to get a better look at your face, "did she miss a lecture last week? the one on tuesday morning."
nanami's brows furrowed slightly, "i don't know, gojo. not all of us watch her like a hawk, you know." he huffed gently, reluctantly questioning, "why do you ask?"
satoru rolled his eyes just the slightest, "cuz she said her head hurt the night before. i told her to sleep in but i don't know if she did. cuz she said she did but then she seemed all weird that night. i just wan-"
"satoru," nanami shifted to fully glare at his friend, other students turning to glance at the commotion because satoru gojo was anything but subtle, "shut the fuck up."
with a small smirk of defiance, satoru merely raised his hands in mock surrender before turning to face you once more. clearly, he had more important matters at hand.
except when satoru turned to gaze at you this time, you were talking to the boy beside you, all attentive and wide eyed, that unintentional butter wouldn't melt in my mouth expression painting your pretty features. one that drove satoru to madness every single time.
except this time, it damn near sent the frat boy into a frenzy.
satoru sat up abruptly, as if someone poured cold water over his head, brows pinching as he watched the guy tilt his head down to speak directly into your ear and he could've sworn- did his mouth just brush against you?
"nanami," satoru whisper-yelled harshly as the blonde huffed in annoyance, ignoring his friend, "nanami kento, who the fuck is that?"
the man's words left him lowly, harshly, dripping with vexation. for that reason, nanami's interest piqued, offering satoru a glance and quickly figuring out what had the man in a state.
"that's leo. he's her lab partner. extremely intelligent."
like rubbing salt in the wound.
satoru's brows furrowed even further, jaw clenching beneath smooth skin as he watched your lips twitch slightly, not a smile, god forbid.
but close enough. enough to have satoru abruptly stand up in the middle of the lecture, his 6'4 frame, as well as him simply being himself, drawing attention as students turned to glance at his towering stance.
but his eyes were set on one thing, one one person, the only person who could have him in a borderline mental collapse like this.
you still haven't seen him, clearly preoccupied with leo.
satoru was quick to make his way to you, despite nanami's whispered warnings to wait and sit down. the seat behind you was empty, luckily for him.
"you should really pay attention," satoru was seated behind you, now leaning down between you and leo's heads, interrupting your whispered conversations, "know how you get when your notes aren't all perfect."
an agitating noise, is what you would call the distinct cadence of satoru gojo's voice.
with blank eyes and an even less impressed expression, you shifted to glance at the white-haired man seated behind you, face inches away as he leaned down.
and he had the audacity to grin.
not his regular grin, though. you noticed that much. this grin was more strained, less...him.
"gojo." you stated with no intention of asking why he was here. you noticed him sometimes, only the past couple of weeks did he start attending your immunology classes. god knows why. the man was a finance major.
despite the absolute fire in his chest, something about the way you uttered his name soothed him just a bit. just the sound of your voice alone. he was fucked.
he was here going insane over the way you said his name and you were here chatting it up with this nerd.
"you know it, sweetheart." satoru smirked before turning to glance at leo who was now watching the exchange from the corner of his eyes while pretending to listen to the professor, "are you coming over tonight?"
and yes, he was stooping that low. he had to. he couldn't have this leo guy or anyone else, for that matter, wandering around thinking they had a chance with you.
something in his ribs tightened at the mere thought.
you tilted your head at the man, considering him slowly, "you came over here to ask me that?"
your deadpan voice had all the anger and fury in his chest dissipating, he was so easy for you, grinning softly.
"amongst other things."
you hummed lowly once, eyes turning back to the professor for a moment before gazing up at him once more, "okay."
satoru grinned gently, physically reacting as he leaned towards you as if you were pulling an invisible string, "yeah, sweetheart?"
you glared at the name, "stop calling me that."
satoru could see leo physically flinch, shoulders hunching as he sunk into his seat a bit. yes, he put out the flame and now whatever was left of his confidence and hope had retreated.
just as he went to answer, his phone pinged and a glance reminded him that he was supposed to be at practice ten minutes ago.
"ah shit," satoru cursed before turning to you, eyes soft and open, only ever for you, "gotta go, trouble. be good for me."
he leaned down to give your cheek a quick kiss before rushing away, a complete disturbance to the professor and the entirety of the class that were trying to focus.
and he could feel the heat of your glare even from the back and it only caused him to grin wider.
yes, that would show leo.
and satoru didn't have time to rationalize his behavior. he wasn't a jealous person.
✺
greek row was chaos only an hour into the party.
music bled through the walls like a pulse, bass heavy enough to rattle the floorboards while voices layered over each other in a constant roar. someone had dragged colored lights into the living room, red and purple cutting through the haze of bodies moving too close together.
and satoru gojo was exactly where he was supposed to be.
at the centre of it all.
laughing too loud, drink in hand and arm slung lazily over the back of the couch while people filtered in and out like orbiting planets.
to everyone else, he looked completely at ease, effortless and light in the way he always was. the life of the party.
but every few seconds, his bright eyes flicked to the open front door, waiting and watching.
it was automatic at the point, he didn’t even notice himself doing it.
he told himself it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter if you came or bailed. you said you’d think about it, maybe this time that meant no. you were busy, after all. and it's been a few days since you said you'd think about it, but still.
his gaze drifted to the door again. nothing.
“my god,” choso muttered beside him, arms crossed and scowling, “you’re like a puppy waiting for it’s owner.”
satoru immediately scowled, “shut the fuck up. you’re just pissed i made you cut your addicted ass back.”
and it was true, he’d made choso start getting high less, threatening to kick him out of the frat. it was an empty threat, but choso didn’t need to know that.
choso rolled his eyes, “you’ve checked the door fourteen times. i counted.”
“see? lay off the weed and you can do math.”
choso scowled once more, “pussy whipped.”
satoru scoffed, leaning back further into the couch, “watch your mouth.”
“can’t believe our two frat leaders are the ones who can’t think without their dicks getting involved.”
satoru opened his mouth to defend both him and sukuna when his eyes flicked to the door once more. and just like that, the words died in his mouth.
you stepped inside like you always did, all unbothered and composed, scanning the room once like you were deciding if you should flee.
but lately, satoru wondered if the looking around was because you were looking for him.
you were a fucking dream.
in your little skirt that tickled your thighs and the tank top that hugged you so deliciously, satoru could swear his mouth watered.
you made his chest tighten the second he saw you.
choso glanced at satoru, thrown off by the quiet when he noticed his gaze at the door, following before scoffing, “right. and i’m the one that’s addicted and needs to lay off.”
staoru didn’t answer, he didn’t even move yet.
he simply watched you as you lingered by the door for a second, adjusting the strap of your tank top before stepping deeper into the house.
people moved around you without touching, you leaning away before anyone’s sweaty skin could brush yours.
you hadn’t seen him yet. good.
satoru liked watching you before you noticed him, he enjoyed the few seconds where he could just look.
and just as his heart couldn’t take the anticipation of speaking to you, watching you, feeling you. just as he went to stand up, someone approached you. the guy was tall, light buzzed hair, broad and objectively attractive.
a guy from another frat, satoru recalled.
he recognized him vaguely, some business major, harmless overall, but satoru’s blood was already pumping faster than it did a second ago.
harmless, except he was speaking to you. he approached you and fuck, you haven’t even been here a full two minutes.
satoru was just irritated, that was all. he wanted you all to himself tonight.
satoru gave you a second, watching as the guy touched your arm once, getting you attention as you turned to hm.
yes, your face was still expressionless, that was good.
he’d seen guys approach you before, you usually shut them down with a sharp look, enough to cut glass. except it seemed as if you didn’t mind this man speaking to you.
so saturo waited across the room, jaw clenched as he grew more and more impatient, feeling his resolve slipping more and more as the minutes passed.
you both kept speaking over the music, well, the guy spoke and grinned more than you but still.
satoru wasn't the jealous type, again. truly, he didn’t care because by tonight, you'll be under him and no one else.
and you were just being polite, that was all.
so, satoru used the few moments to assess you lowly.
fuck, you were so stunning, it was stupid. he thought of everything he’d ached to do with you tonight, of new ways to convince you to stay, of what show you’d wanna watch after he was done with you.
but then, something shifted.
something truly, inexplicably and extremely offensive to satoru gojo.
you smiled.
not a polite, tight social smile you gave old people.
not the half-assed tilt of the mouth you gave fuckass leo the other day.
a real smile, soft and quick, but true nonetheless.
your eyes crinkled just slightly, nose scrunching up in a way that fundamentally changed him when he’d first seen it.
satoru’s brain went completely quiet.
because that smile was his.
he’d never seen you give it to anyone else but him. not when geto made his best efforts to lure emotion out of you, not even when luna tried.
granted, it was because you kept to yourself most of the time, but still.
it had taken him weeks to get that smile out of you for the first time, weeks of stupid jokes and restless persistence.
and now you were giving it to some random frat boy that didn’t feel for you the way satoru did.
choso quipped something out that was inevitably meant to piss him off but satoru didn’t hear a word, ears ringing and already crossing the room, his chest burning and jaw clenched so hard, his molars hurt.
the crowd parted for him easily, stopping when he was right behind you.
close enough that the guy looked up at him mid conversation, close enough that you felt the undeniable warmth of the frat president against your back.
you looked up slightly, “gojo.”
satoru’s gaze travelled over the guy, studying him lowly, “hey, baby.”
your brows furrowed just a bit as satoru placed a hand on the revealed skin of your hip, pulling you back and against him.
satoru never called you baby outside the bedroom, he knew you hated the lack of separation.
satoru’s gaze never left the guy throughout it all, the guy blinking once as his gaze travelled from satoru’s hand to his intimidating gaze.
“oh, um, are you guys-”
“no.” you stated immediately,.
“yes.” satoru grunted simultaneously.
the guy looked between the both of you before satoru shot him a deadly smirk, "she's just confused. right, baby?"
you merely glared at the man.
the guy chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “right, uh, okay.”
your eyes narrowed at satoru behind you, the guy quick to step back.
“anyways, it was good to see you.”
you simply nodded at him, watching as he disappeared into the crowd.
silence stretched between you and satoru, tense and heavy.
you stepped forward and away from him, turning to face him fully as satoru allowed his hand to fall from your hip, jaw clenched once more.
you crossed your arms, “what was that.”
satoru tilted his head, “you tell me.”
“excuse me?”
satoru’s fists clenched by his sides, “i didnt know i was the least funniest person ever.”
your brows furrowed, “what?”
satoru huffed once, “it took me a month to make you even slightly smile at me and some random sigma asshole comes up to you and you just-”
“smile?”
satoru groaned, “don’t say it like i’m stupid! you don’t smile at anyone-”
“yes, i do-”
“don’t-” satoru grunted once before his eyes travelled over to the sea of people surrounding you both that simply thirsted for any drama involving alpha phi’s president, “c’mere.”
before you knew it, the man was gripping your wrist and pulling you through the crowd, up the steps and into the quiet sanctity of his room.
you were already scowling, a pout painting your features as satoru shut the door and turned to you, “we have an agreement.”
an agreement? what the hell was he saying?
truthfully, the man was a mess in his mind. he hated seeing the sight of you with another man, let alone offering him the smile you usually reserved for him.
and now he was spewing bullshit. your agreement didn’t even say he couldn’t sleep with anyone else, let alone for you not to be able to smile at anyone.
fuck, you were making him crazy.
and you could see through him instantly, brows furrowing and arms crossing, “when did we agree that i couldn’t react to other people’s words?”
satoru huffed once, hands travelling into his white locks and tugging gently, “that’s not the point! between that waiter the other day, fuckin' leo and this stupid goddamn comedian of a fratboy-”
you frowned gently, watching the man tug at his hair harshly, “stop doing that-”
satoru ignored your words, continuing to pace in front of you, “they don’t get you, you know that right? they don’t know you like me, how your mind works, your body-”
you didn’t like seeing him this worked up. usually, you didn’t pay half a mind to his little meltdowns, he was extremely dramatic. but this was satoru stressed.
he was frantic and pent-up with god knows what.
“gojo, what the hell is wrong with-“
“ugh! and that’s the other thing,” satoru took a step closer, jaw clenched with effort, “stop doing that-“
you rolled your eyes just the slightest bit, “i told you, you don’t get-“
“do you like any of them?”
the question made your head tilt in confusion, expression offering him nothing as you considered him a bit, “i don’t see why i need to tell you if i did, gojo. you’re acting insane-“
and yes, satoru did feel insane.
his chest was clenched with effort, hands alongside it, absorbing your words and they felt like a gut punch.
“i deserve to know if you do!”
“why?”
“because-“ his voice raised on octave before abruptly stopping himself. what could he even say?
because i want you? because i think about you always and you don’t seem to care? because if you did like anyone else, that would crush me?
“because we’re sleeping together.”
you scoffed just a bit, “yes. that has nothing to do with talking about our emotions.”
and if anything that night caused his chest to collapse, it was that.
of course. this entire dynamic was based on no emotions.
what the hell was he doing?
satoru was supposed to fuck you, not set his claim over you because as you so kindly pointed out, you didn’t belong to him. you didn’t feel for him.
but god, did he feel for you.
“right…” satoru breathed out, jaw clenching with effort, “yeah, right, no emotions.”
your eyes trailed over the expanse of his face, so clearly tense and eyes low as he watched you.
satoru knew you wouldn’t drag this on longer than you had to, keeping it at that.
you didn’t care enough to go back and forth with him, especially with him being so irrational.
he could practically see the gears turning in your head, looking for an out to leave the party and go back home, as you always did.
you always left.
and he was determined to make you stay because he needed it.
so he stepped forward, crashing his lips onto yours, groaning softly as you whimpered at the impact.
if satoru could rely on one thing, it was that you would always melt into him if he was touching you.
physical, it was just physical.
“gojo-“ you whimpered against him, almost in protest before the man bit your lip gently, leaning down to pull you up by your thighs.
“shh, baby, just let me-“
and let him, you did.
half an hour and three orgasms later, satoru gojo was breathing heavily, face dug into your neck as he tried to breathe properly.
“still with me, baby?” satoru voiced against your damp skin, perceptive as you softly turned your head.
“mhmm…”
satoru sighed gently, his large hand traced your spine gently as he sat over the edge of the bed, “wanna shower?”
please stay, stay, stay.
you looked up at him, stretching a bit with a lazy nod.
satoru grinned gently, leaning down to press a kiss onto the plush of your lips, lazy as his tongue dragged onto the swell once before pulling back. he tapped the swell of your ass twice before walking over to his en-suite.
he loved how uncharacteristically gentle you were after, fucked out and so entirely his.
and when you joined him a few minutes later, gently slapping his wandering hands away when he tried to have you once more , he tried not to think of your soft voice crying out that you were his.
and how he longed for you to say that in an entirely more sentimental context.
you left the shower before him and as always, by the time he exited the bathroom, you were gone. again.
✺
AN | this was such a long time coming ahhhhh i love jealous gojo! i last minute removed the smut cuz tbh im just not comfortable w that rn so this'll have to do ! :)
enjoy this one guys cuz im starting exams soon and i have to lock in until may 🫡🫡
edit - guys i was half asleep when i posted this ans removed the smut so the ending was kinda weird and so not them. so just changed that lol!
as always, lmk what u thinkkk i love to hear ur feedback !!!
yuta okkotsu has loved and adored you ever since he met you, absolutely infatuated with your skill in photography for his team and how you carried yourself with others— self-assured, never once letting anyone talk to you a certain way, and the sweetest thing ever to him, giving him the time of day when he feels like a loser moron that certainly doesn't deserve it. one problem though? you have a piece of shit asshole of a boyfriend who somehow became the exception to treating you badly. and yuta can't take it anymore, his year long pent up yearning and frustration for you piling to the brim before either of you realize it... until it bursts.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, cursing, FLUFFFF, yearning, pining, SMUT, mentions of a toxic relationship beware, yuta is IN LOVE with you omg, ANGST AFFF, reader is the photographer for yuta's team, sexual themes, filthy dirty talk, fingering, pet names, readers bf is a dickhead, best friends to lovers, mentions of reader having ‘pink cheeks’ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 20.4k
authors note: i LIVE and BREATHE and NEEEDDDD NFL!YUTA WITH ME IN MAH BED DEAR GOD HE IS A SWEEETTIIEEEE IN THIS ONEEE!!! :,)))) I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE ITTTT AAAGHHHHH I LOVE YALL SO EFFING MUCH !!! <3333 amazing strawberry patch divider by @/saradika-graphics !!
PART TWO of this fic is available here!
for being in the national football league, yuta okkotsu was the worst player on his team.
he didn’t even know how he ended up playing football growing up in the first place, because yuta had a cursed tendency to go into things due to whatever reason and not know how to get himself out.
was it a dare? had someone pressured him? was it a favor?
he couldn’t remember anymore, though it didn’t really matter much to him seeing as he loved football— something that once confused him and made him trip over his own cleats when he first started, to actually growing to really enjoy it instead of loathing it like it would for most.
the sport pushed him to the absolute limits in his scatterbrained skittery abilities to try and make something of himself other than a sleep deprived idiot, which he figured was probably the reason why he continued to stumble his way through his youth football team, his high school football team, his college football team...
and now the national football league, the road which he traveled always jaggedly difficult and barely grazing the surface of what it was to qualify for these types of organizations.
he just didn't know how he kept getting fucking lucky— just enough to make it through the surface and make a living for himself even if everyone got mad at him all of the time for it.
because he sucked. he knew that he did. and no matter how many times he met with his management to try and figure out what the hell to do to improve, or tried to better his play on his own with extra hours of training that damn near broke his joints on multiple occasions from overexertion, it was like yuta repelled at being someone that was just— good at something.
it wasn’t the greatest feeling loving a sport that seemed like it didn’t exactly want him in return... but he enjoyed it anyways, opting to make the best of it until he ultimately officially got canned.
and he especially grew to enjoy it when he met you.
the photographer for his team.
“maybe tuck the ball under your arm for me? instead of—yeah! yeah like that!—”
yuta’s trembling hands, buzzing pink cheeks and sweating everything was doing nothing for him in this moment as you stood in front of him, wildly pretty and so sure of yourself as you took pictures of him for the monthly newsletter, camera in hand as you clicked way and angled your body here and there to get the shot you wanted.
he gulped.
“i feel like your bicep looks even bigger that way.” you smiled cheekily, setting your camera down as it hung around your neck with a strap.
e— even big—
“it’ll make the girlies excited for sure!”
he blushed furiously at you noting something like that, letting out a nervous squeaky laugh as he dropped his gaze to the way he was holding the ball now, fitted in his freshly cleaned football gear out in the middle of the field, just the two of you.
“does it— does it really..?” his wobbly smile tugged at your heart strings, a reassuring one of your own smoothing over your face in response. “i feel like they're usually yelling at me from the stands heh...”
you amusedly rolled your eyes with a shake of the head, picking up your camera again to capture a few more shots. “everyone yells all kinds of things from the stands yu.”
“they usually say i need to be benched or traded...” he spoke quietly, comically unfocused traumatized eyes staring off ahead as you gently fixed the positioning of his other arm.
you snorted and stepped back.
“yeah well you’re the one in the nfl and they’re the ones spending money to come see you anyway so they can rot in hell for all i care—”
he giggled then, wholeheartedly as he diverted his gaze, feeling amused yet incredibly ashamed at your statement all at the same time.
the title didn't feel rightfully earned to him... he didn’t deserve it for his atrocious play on the field.
“what?” you asked softly, popping your head up from the brink of taking another picture. “did i say something wrong? i'm sorry yuta i— that probably wasn’t appropriate—”
yuta frantically shook his head, big eyes locked on you as he flailed his unoccupied hand out in emphasis.
“no! no absolutely not you’re— you’re okay y/n...”
your shoulders gradually dropped in relief, thankful that yuta was one little gem that didn’t seem to mind anything that flowed off your tongue that was technically considered extremely unprofessional, more so if it was anyone else.
you were thankful he was a friend.
“i was just thinking a little.” he sent you a small timid curve of the lips, going back to the pose you’d instructed for him previously.
you hummed, shutting one eye to continue taking photographs, the camera shuddering and clicking away as you spoke.
“thinking? about what?”
yuta had known you ever since he made the national league team, and he’d loved you for just as long, deeming you one of his closest friends besides his other senior teammate— the singular person who tolerated him and didn’t scold him for accidentally dropping passes, and a cheerleader he’d come to meet nearly two months ago that danced for his team, her being the one he babbled and poured his heart out on a silver platter for about you and everything that you did.
and he felt so bad each time that he did... accidentally tasking her with listening to him hopelessly rant and rant even through her soft-hearted reassurances that it was okay...
he just didn’t think he could ever forget the way he felt when you first spoke to him, pathetically enough.
but he couldn’t think of you that way.
“about how badly i might botch our homecoming game.” a sad half smile grew. “i might get booted this time if i'm lucky.”
you gawked, jaw hung to the ground.
“yuta why would you say something like thaaatt!” you whined, beginning to flick through the photos on your camera to give them a check over. “don’t do that please... it’s not fair to write yourself off already for something that hasn’t happened. for something that won’t happen.”
he gnawed at the inside of his cheek, desperately wanting to believe you... but his bumpy track record was weighing heavy on his shoulders to remind him that he simply couldn't.
“you’re right i'm sorry.” he spoke softly, and you eased a little by his tone, putting your camera down and walking over to gently take the football from underneath his arm, his ears going pinker the closer you got to him.
you were aware of yuta’s unfortunate reputation, and you were even more aware of how he was treated by everyone else because of it.
“you’re alright yu don’t apologize.” you smiled warmly, your gaze swimming in sympathy and worry as you looked at him. “i just don’t like it when you’re mean to yourself about it... everyone has different strengths that come across in different ways. you have strengths that come across in different ways.”
“i don’t think people will ever see it that way though.” he lightly laughed, and you moved your head to catch his line of sight directly, expression serious.
“i see it that way.” you pushed softly. “hold onto that for a little until the rest of them do.”
yuta's heart felt like it was about to burst.
out of all his miserable years of dealing with people telling him he wasn’t doing this right, or fumbling that or—or jeopardizing whatever—
you were the first to ever show him genuine sugary kindness in the otherwise unforgiving industry he was involved in, and some he desperately needed and clung onto the minute you flashed him your gorgeous grin and encouraged him on his very first day, despite feeling like he truly reached the finish line for his career and was done for.
but it was wrong to think of you that way.
because the sole reason as to why yuta spent his days moping around gloomy and miserable and frustrated other than not being able to talk to you without stammering over his own words and looking fucking stupid...
was because you had a boyfriend.
and he hated himself for still loving you in the way that he did when he respected you so unbelievably much... but he just couldn’t help it no matter how hard he tried to get you out of his head, or begged his heart and head to calm the hell down any time he heard your pretty distant voice somewhere in the locker rooms or out on the field— spending a solid year trying and all it got him was freaking nowhere besides being pitifully still wrapped around your little finger and trailing after you like a lost puppy.
especially on days like this when you were so nice to him, having the upmost faith in what he could do when no one else did.
“th— thank you.” he shakily grinned, yet sweet as you nodded and patted his bicep.
“of course!”
you picked your camera back up again and quickly made a final run through over the photos you took, satisfaction swelling in your chest as you spotted several that were up to your standards and perfect for the newsletter.
you always enjoyed photographing yuta in particular, because despite the fact he was often bashful and a little unsure of himself, you actually preferred that, most if not all football players you’ve gotten to work with utterly and agonizingly arrogant, often choosing not to listen to any directions or pointers you gave them in terms of posing, talking your ear off about how it didn’t match what they wanted, or because it didn’t line up with the image they wanted to perceive themselves as to the public, or because they just flat out didn’t want to and ‘felt weird.’
whatever the fuck that meant.
so yuta always being the sweetest boy you’d ever met, listening to you and frequently asking you if how he was posing was okay, or what you suggested he do so he could look or work better, made your job so much easier and that much more pleasant.
“you’re all set!” you cutely smiled, yuta’s heart jumping at the sight of that. “thanks so much yu! your pictures look very cute.”
he chuckled, proceeding to strep through the grass and follow you when you signaled him with a nudge of the head to do so.
“are they okay?” he asked, and you quickly nodded, the both of you making your way across the vacant football field to get back to the locker rooms with the rest of the players.
“uh huh! they're lovely yu.” you wrung your hands behind your back and gently bumped your shoulder with his arm, yuta’s eyes trained downward as a teeny smile grew on his face.
“i appreciate you always working with me... i know it can get annoying when i keep pulling you for photos and get in the way of your practice hours... or when i keep fixing your arm twenty billion times heh.”
he snapped his head up and looked at you. “oh no! i don’t mind at all y/n. whatever you have to do to get what you need is never a bother for me, you know that.”
you jutted your bottom lip at his sweetness, his humility a charming yet burdening trait of his.
you always wished that yuta could receive the recognition and support you knew he deeply deserved.
because it was that same humility that allowed every other dickwad in the industry to walk all over him and make him feel awful for nearly fucking everything that he did. he could do no right in their eyes, and watching him ever so slowly lose the tiny glimmer of authentic passion he carried for the sport he played— his enthusiasm washing away bit by bit, the fiery flickering bud diminishing before you could attempt to salvage it, and the bags under his eyes growing darker and darker with every new day you saw him... made you sad.
you didn’t want yuta to lose himself due to the rather harsh expectations of others, when you knew probably more than anyone the exact grit he carried underneath his skin for football, his management refusing to just give him the grace nor chance he needed to let it properly flourish, and for the dumbest reasons you’d ever heard too.
it was the ‘cost of resources’ they had explained to you when you stomped your way through headquarters on a particularly brutal game for yuta, him accidentally butchering a touchdown simply because his teammates had zero faith in him and refused to pass him the ball, their hesitancy being the actual cause of his team losing rather than yuta.
though they blamed him anyway that night.
as the team's photographer there really wasn’t much you could do... but you felt it was worse to stay silent rather than weasel in the teensiest of input, one you hoped would one day fall on the right ears of someone willing to actually better the structure of training players, rather than favoritism or spending it on useless renovation plans for the stadium.
because sure, yuta wasn’t the greatest player... but he was far from the worst that they insisted he was.
and you fucking hated it.
“do you have any plans for the weekend?” you chirped as you both walked through the locker room doors, yuta pondering for a moment.
he didn’t ever really have much going on besides wallowing in anxiety and despair over any upcoming games...
“ehh— not really!” he chuckled, you following along as he made his way to his designated cubby, internally happy to see that the locker rooms were vacant so he could have some time with you for a little while.
“i think i might go out and buy rika a new cat tree... she destroyed the one she has now during the last away game we had.”
you giggled, yuta subconsciously smiling a little at the tune as he tugged at the straps of his football gloves off, the velcro ripping as he went.
“that silly kitty...” you tutted, taking a seat by him on the bench, calmly watching him crouch and begin to rummage through his cubby. “she always loves committing crimes when you’re not home.”
“definitely.” yuta huffed out a laugh with a shake of the head, organizing his things in preparation for next weeks practice. “a couple of days ago i came back from the market to see all my dishes shattered in the kitchen..."
“shut the fuck up!” you gasped, hand flying over your mouth as he giggled softly at your reaction, nodding.
“yeah... but it’s okay.” he smiled, standing upright and taking a seat next to you on the bench. “i have a hard time staying mad at her so i gave up on trying to get her to behave.”
you laughed again, and it only made yuta’s heart do a little giddy leap, head hung and eyes trained to the ground below in the hopes of you not seeing how red in the face he stupidly was.
“what— what about you?” he asked, wringing his palms together and settling them between his legs. “do you have any plans?”
you perked up. “i do! my boyfriend and i have plans to see a movie and then maybe get dinner after.”
he swallowed.
“that sounds like fun.” he sent you a weak smile. “what um— what movie?”
“i don’t even know.” you snorted. “he picked it! or— said he was gonna pick it... i’m not sure if he’s bought tickets yet actually.”
worry brewed in his chest a bit, ache mixed with frustration as you went on about the rest of your plans that you weren’t even sure were entirely confirmed.
situations like this were almost routine like to hear from you, because your boyfriend also happened to be a fucking asshole.
in the year that he’d known you, yuta lost count of how many times he cancelled on you last minute to do god knows what, or blatantly ditched whatever plans you had made for the two of you in exchange for doing something else that catered to just him, or was just— mean to you all of the time.
that fact bothered yuta the most.
he didn’t like the way he spoke to you at all, and it seemed like you were too used to it to— realize that it was rude, your boyfriend flat out too dismissive and neglectful of you and yuta having no idea how a sweet thoughtful girl like you ended up with someone who treated you like that.
you deserved to be respected and have everything you’ve ever wanted in your life, and whether it was with him or not that wasn’t what was important to him in this situation.
because yes it hurt like fucking hell to hear you talk about him, see you with him whenever he came to football events— your pretty doe eyes sparkling and widening as you stared at him like he was everything and not at all the arrogant fuck he was... but yuta’s feelings for you were to the point where he’d be at bittersweet ease if you were at least with someone who was good for you. treating you kindly.
“you should call him about it... just to be safe.” he spoke quietly, expression unreadable as he stared ahead at his cubby. “please.”
he didn't want you to be disappointed again.
“oh i will!” you kindly smiled, standing and slowly stretching your arms out over your head, slightly twisting your body left and right to soften out your limbs with yuta keeping his gaze straight ahead to avoid getting a peek at your soft tummy.
“i’m sure he booked it i just haven’t asked him about it.” you let your arms fall back to your sides before sending him a gentle smile, placing a palm on his head to give it a little pat. “i’ll be okay yu don't worry.”
his cheeks bubbled pink then, shy eyes briefly flickering up to yours with a teeny grin, dropping just as quick as they came with a nod.
“n— no yeah! of course.”
your fingers slipped from his raven strands and you took a step out.
“i’ll edit your photos and send them early so you can approve before i submit for the newsletter.” you informed him, yuta following suit and standing from the bench. “just to make sure you like them.”
“sure! thank you y/n.” he breathed out, the heavy exhaustion from today’s practice suddenly catching up to him. “is that how it normally is when you take the other guys’ photos?”
“nope!” you snickered, picking up your camera and holding it up to your face, squinting an eye. “special perks just for you sir. ‘cause you’re not a dick to me.”
he laughed, a pearly smile stretching across his face as he watched you snap another singular photo, the bright white flash blocking his line of sight for a swift moment until it dissipated.
“do the others still give you a hard time?” he curiously asked you, grabbing the collar of his jersey and bending over a bit to give it a quick tug off, his shoulder pads and protective plates sliding through his arms before his head popped up from underneath.
“no not as bad as when i first started.” you reached over and helped him slip the rest of his uniform off his arms, him sending you a grateful closed-lipped smile in response as you readjusted his white undershirt by the hem, the same hand then moving up to fix over his slightly disheveled hair.
you were so sweet he could die.
“they just get sassy when they don’t like the poses i tell them to do.” you sighed as you drew your arm back, and yuta quirked a brow, proceeding to separate the fabric of his jersey from the preventative padding.
“still?” he shook his head, setting down his equipment in his cubby. “i’m sorry y/n... they’re just pictures i never understand why—”
“just pictures..?” you pouted, and yuta immediately snapped his head up from the sound of your tone to look at you, blown out horrified eyes scouring over your sulky little face in a panic.
oh god—
“n— no! that's not what i meant! i— they're not just pictures i love your pictures so much i just meant—”
you giggled hard then, hand hovering over your mouth as yuta’s cheeks grew pinker with every cute hiccup and chopped breath he heard slip past your lips.
“i’m kidding!” you quickly set your palms on his broad shoulders and gripped, shaking him a little to ward off his fidgety alarm— fighting through the silliness of it yourself to straighten up for him. “i'm just— heh!— i'm messing with you yuta it’s okay... i know what you meant.”
his shoulders slumped in fucking relief, placing a hand over his pounding heart as he dropped his head back and groaned.
“don’t do that...” he breathed out. “i thought i hurt you.”
you snickered some more and gave his shoulders a squeeze before letting go.
you found it endearing how gullible yuta was sometimes with people, as you took note of how much effort he put in never wanting to commit a sliver of harm to anyone if he could help it, even if they weren’t exactly the same with him.
“absolutely not sir.” you quipped, setting a hand on your hip and drumming your fingers along your camera with the other. “i’d never let you do such a thing to me.”
he giggled squeakily and nodded, briefly tossing his folded up jersey inside his cubby. “good! and don’t let any of my other teammates either.”
“ppffttt!—” you blew out, a silly rise to your brow. “yeah like i'd ever even let them open their mouth to talk to me like that. they fear me yu.”
“do they?” he cheekily grinned, dragging his bulky backpack out and plopping it on the bench beside you both, beginning to pack his things for the night. “who? how so?”
“i photographed itsuki last week for the newsletter and he was throwing a bitch fit.” you explained, watching as he finished up and zipped his bag closed, hoisting it over his shoulders.
yuta looked at you bewildered.
“why?”
you pouted again, and it made his heart squeeze just like before.
“he didn’t like my posing ideas. and then when i told him to suck it up he didn’t like my attitude.”
yuta burst out laughing, the admiration he already had for you increasing tenfold as you explained to him the maddening interaction you had with his teammate, the two of you officially packing up, making your way out of the locker room entirely and through the nearly vacant stadium as you conversed.
nights like these were yuta’s favorite type of nights, where the both of you managed to stay late enough for whatever reasons that you both had going on throughout the day, which in turn granted him the lucky privilege of getting to spend a bit of extra time with just you— not surrounded by the bustling crowds of everyone else that was clocked in, his incredibly loud teammates, or any other commitments that prevented him from straight up catching a fleeting glimpse of you for the day.
it was nights like these were yuta selfishly had pretty you all to himself.
even if it was just for a little while.
“wait what did you end up doing? were you able to take his pictures for the newsletter?”
yuta pushed open an exit door to the stadium and stepped off to the side, allowing you to go through first and out into the icy crisp night air before he followed suit.
“i had to force him yu. the man refused to listen to me and it was fucking exhausting.”
“what the hell is wrong with him.” yuta mumbled, his brainly cogs turning as you walked through the parking lot, the loose pavement gravel crunching beneath your shoes with each step. “he’s always been kind of bratty like that actually... coach has told him to stay in position and not chase after the ball so many times and he just— doesn't listen.”
“because he wants to be the one to make touchdowns that’s why.” you sighed through your nose, eyes scouring the never ending rows of vehicles and trying to remember where you parked yours.
“greedy greedy man...”
yuta smiled at the ground, though a small twitch to the brow gave away his discontent.
“you’re probably right but— i don’t really like that he’s mean to you y/n...” he turned his head to look at you, bashful concern etched on his kind face. “you have nothing to do with whatever’s happening on the field.”
you frantically waved him off, shaking your head and feeling bad that you’d stressed him out for probably the millionth time today.
“no! i promise you i'm alright yu don’t worry.” you brightly grinned, readjusting the strap of your bag. “this isn’t my first rodeo with these kinds of things... i used to babysit before i got into photography heehee! but thank you!”
he giggled boyishly and nodded, thankful that you were quite literally the definition of self-assuredness and confidence, if not way better, you never letting anyone minimize you or— or speak to you a certain way without you biting back, something he profoundly admired about you and could only wish to replicate for himself someday.
so yuta couldn’t understand why you’d made the exception for your boyfriend.
“oh! i see my car! oh thank god i couldn’t remember where the eff i parked—”
you turned to him and smiled once more, a rosy hue to the tip of your nose and precious cheeks from the frosty nipping air, both of your breaths puffing out in misty clouds as you spoke on.
“thank you for walking with me! are you far from here?” you craned your body and looked around the parking lot. “if you are let me drive you to your car so you’re not walking in the cold—”
“oh i'm— i'm okay! thank you!” he breathed out, fiddling with the straps of his backpack. “i’m not too far away i can walk.”
“kay.” you briefly dug through your bag and pulled your keys out. “i’ll see you next week then? monday?”
“uh huh! monday.”
walking to the driver's side of your car, you unlocked it and pulled open the door before tossing your bag in, hoisting a leg up.
“give rika a kiss for me!” you called from over your shoulder, and yuta quickly nodded with friendly quirked lips.
“i will! drive safe please!”
“you too!”
and you shut the door, yuta taking a few steps back then and watching as you turned on your ignition and switched to reverse, easing your way out from your spot until you eventually shifted gears— sticking a waving hand out the window as you drove off into the night and out of the parking lot.
yuta didn’t let his arm down until you were completely out of sight from where he was, standing there for a few more seconds with a battering fuzzy heart, his chest swirling with affection for you that he desperately tried to get under control and shut up.
it was embarrassing in a way, when his twisted mind often wrongfully swapped out where your boyfriend stood next to you at his games... with himself, picturing that it was him you were looking at like that, or imagining what it would be like to literally just hug you, or hold your hand or— or share something with you that made you so happy and had you smiling for him— all in the attempts of mending over the ache, a burden that resided permanently in every nook and cranny of who he was.
he knew fantasizing about shit like this wasn’t the healthiest for him… and not to mention disrespectful to you, doing more harm than good.
but yuta simply couldn’t help himself.
you were worth someone to think about, and he justified his daydreams by keeping them exactly as they were and nothing more. as daydreams.
daydreams he sort of made peace with taking to the grave.
it was a constant never ending warfare between morality, temptation, and heavy longing that often plagued his every thought after getting to speak with you— similar to this moment, with him shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket and finally walking away, head hung low and his brain contorting and pulling with lovesick guilt as he made his way to his car, it actually parked the complete opposite from where yours was.
because nonetheless...
he was looking forward to monday.
“what do you mean you didn’t book it?”
your boyfriend simply shrugged, bored eyes glued to the tv in your living room— planted on the couch as you stood there in fucked off disbelief that it seemed like he genuinely didn’t know what the hell you were talking about.
there’s no way there’s no way—
“i thought you did..?” he barely even spared you a glance before his gaze flickered back to the screen ahead, your heart sinking once you realized that he was indeed doing this bullshit again with you.
“reno— you said you would!” you explained exasperatedly. “you told me last week that you’d book a movie and make dinner reservations—”
“did i?” he mumbled. “i’m sorry babe i’ll book them for a different day. promise.”
he spoke so— passively. entirely distracted and embedded in whatever the fuck he was watching, refusing to give you the time of day as you stood there with your hair and makeup done, trying to suck back the familiar burning tears that prickled at your eyeballs.
“you said that last time.” you spoke softly. “and the time before that.”
“well i’m here now aren’t i?” he stood with a grunt and sluggishly made his way to the fridge, pulling it open and bending to rummage through. “why can’t we just stay in—”
“no reno we always stay in...” your voice quavered. “and you said—”
“fuck what i said y/n i don’t remember.” he snagged a beer bottle from the back and shut the fridge, turning to face you and eyes narrowing into slits.
“are you seriously crying? what did i even do?”
“you literally talked out of your ass and planned this shit with me!” you yelled, hands flailing out in desperation. “the least you could do is cancel on me ahead of time instead of letting me get fucking ready!”
“you’re being dramatic babe stop.” he mumbled, digging into the pockets of his pants and pulling out a bottle opener, hooking the latch beneath the cap. “just come sit down i’ll put a damn movie on. what do you wanna watch.”
you felt a pang through your chest and you shook your head, sniffling before reaching around him and snatching your purse from the kitchen island.
reno quizzically tracked your movements, taking a drink of his beer and swallowing.
“where the hell are you going?”
“out.” you spat, carefully wiping the corners of your eyes as you stepped to the door.
he scoffed. “yeah where?—”
“don’t make a mess in my apartment while i’m gone.”
“babe— i literally drove here to spend time with you and you’re leaving?” he bitterly rolled his eyes. “jesus man i should be the one mad at you.”
“be mad at me all you want. i’m leaving.” you unlocked the front door and wrenched it open. “bye reno.”
“oh my god y/n—”
“—i’m glad you remembered where the beer was in my fridge you asshole!”
and you slammed the door shut, the force ricocheting as you charged your way through the halls of your apartment complex and down the main elevators, hoping and praying that he didn’t follow after you so he’d at least spare the wrath of getting freaking chewed out by you.
you were livid.
so incredibly livid and frustrated and— and hurt as you got into your car, wondering when it was that reno started being so careless with you and your relationship, even when you’ve been running laps around him trying to find different ways to salvage it and go back to the way things were.
it was a never ending fucking cycle— him disappointing you over fallen out plans or forgotten special events, you crying and hiccupping about it until he eventually got over his attitude and softened up for you, sweetly apologizing and buying you flowers or trinkets and treating you like he used to...
kind.
because he was, you swore that he once was. when you and him first started dating that was the whole reason as to why you ended up being his girlfriend in the first place, the first few months genuine bliss until his efforts started gradually declining over the course of your two year relationship.
reno used to buy you flowers weekly and take you out for dinner every other night, he used to parade you around his friends and insist that you’d come along to any outing, he used to drop everything in his life if you needed something as simple as fucking eggs in your fridge.
and he used to make you feel wanted. someone worth thinking about.
maybe that was the reason why you were still with him, clinging on desperately to the man he once was in the hopes that he’d suddenly come back one day.
but he loved you still. even though he was sometimes mean and forgetful you knew that he loved you…
he did he— he just needed a little help is all…
“rika you have got to be kidding me.”
a singular cute meow filled the room as rika pounced off the sandy mess she made— litter sprinkled all over the fucking floor of the living room with scattered imprints of her paws etched in each small pile, yuta standing there with a slack jaw.
“i took a piss for like— two seconds how did you even manage to—”
his furrowed pissed brows made no effect on the little kitty, as she simply twitched her fluffy ears and cocked her head to the side, blown out pupils looking up at him earnestly before she padded her way over to his right leg.
“i lose sleep because of you…” he muttered, watching her curl herself against the fabric of his jeans and purring, trotting to the opposite side to do the same with his other leg, yuta’s heart actively being tugged and manipulated as she did so.
he quietly sighed through his nose then and bent down, gently carding his fingers through the soft white fur behind her ear and scratching, a slow smile curving his lips as rika purred louder and nuzzled her head into his hand.
“silly kitty…” he mumbled. “you abuse the system you know.”
one of yuta's biggest flaws out of the millions he already had with football, was that he had a hard time staying mad at cat, feeling she could go as far as getting them literally evicted from his apartment complex and he’d still give her a peck with a sweet treat at the end of the day.
“what color cat tree do you want?—”
his phone buzzed in his back pocket and he absentmindedly reached behind to retrieve it, his eyes flickering once to the caller i.d. before they shot back for a double take upon realizing who it was.
you.
“HOLY fucking— shit!—”
yuta’s phone slipped from his hand and he made a leaping lunge for it, slamming down tummy first and sliding across the cold hardwood flooring of his living room— helplessly scrambling after his buzzing device for a few tries until he managed to finally snatch it through his panic, quickly answering.
rika stared.
“hel— hello?”
“hi yu!” you sweetly greeted over the other line, and yuta felt his heart quicken at the sound of it.
it wasn’t often when you called on the weekends. actually— you didn’t call on the weekends just on the week-days when he had football practices and you were gathering photographs for the media or management and you needed to pull him for a quick chat—
“is— is this a good time?”
“yes!” he sputtered, using his unoccupied hand to help himself up off the floor. “y—yeah it is y/n… are you okay?”
“yeah i’m okay!” you laughed. “thank you! i just um… have you— have you gotten rika’s cat tree yet..? by any chance?”
his eyebrows pinched a little.
“n— no i haven’t.” he replied. “i was just about to go actually but— rika spilled litter all over my floor...”
you giggled and yuta felt like he was going to die.
“serves you right for leaving her all alone hm? you should know by now that kitty doesn’t like it when you’re away.”
he laughed then and nodded, looking over his shoulder and relieved to see rika still relaxing where she was and not destroying something else.
“you’re absolutely right.” he smiled, a pinky hue rising to his cheeks. “she’s gonna set my apartment on fire if we make it to the superbowl.”
“when you make the super bowl sir.” you corrected. “hey but listen um… i was wondering if it’s okay if i tag along? with— you? to get rika her cat tree…”
he froze.
“not if it’s too much trouble!” you immediately followed up. “i totally get it if not please don’t worry i was just— i remembered those were your plans and i don’t have plans so i thought—”
“no no!” he frantically shook his head.
fucking idiot—
“i mean yes!” he breathed out. “yes you’re more than welcome to y/n i— i don’t mind at all… please come.”
you gasped.
“really?! oh i’m so glad! send me your address and i’ll drive over to your place.”
holy shit.
“okay!” he hurriedly propped his phone up against his shoulder and ran across his apartment to get to his utility closet, fumbling for the knob and yanking it open in search for his vacuum.
“just— just let me know when you’re about ten minutes away!” he dragged the vacuum out and sped back down the hall. “i’m on the fifth floor just press the mail room button, i’ll text you the code—”
yuta had never hung out with you one on one before.
well technically he has, but it was always in group settings with his teammates or staff personnel after particular days, the lot of you meeting up at the bar just down the street from the stadium to have a quick drink and converse, though most of the time it was funnily always you and yuta talking amongst each other with everyone else doing their own little thing.
and there were a few blessed times where you both happened to grab a quick cup of coffee in the mornings right before clocking in… but every single one of these events happened on a working weekday.
never a weekend. and never on your own accord like this.
“rika please get out of the way i can’t vacuum when you’re blocking—”
the cat continued to wiggle her fluffy tail and stay cemented on the top portion of the vacuum, moving back and forth with yuta’s frantic push and pull as he tried to get all the litter off the floor before you got there.
“rikkaaaaa!” he groaned. “please kitty please i’ll do anything don’t do this right now—”
out of all days for yuta to somehow win the random ludicrous lottery of getting the chance to hang out with you one on one, was when his apartment was an absolute fucking mess with his cat being brattier than usual, her still plopped on the vacuum as he accepted defeat— continuing to hastily suck up the rest of the liter with her meowing away.
and he zipped through his place, to and fro as yuta stumbled away picking up scattered laundry or random pieces of trash he happened to spot as he went, all while simultaneously mopping and dusting and disinfecting and trying his hardest to get his apartment to look decent for you, and not a fucking shithole, wanting you to be comfortable in his home and not feel like you were surrounded by typical manly filth...
he was so nervous he felt like he was going to puke.
“rika let— go kitty you know you’re not supposed to be scratching on that!—”
yuta pulled on her as gently as he possibly could to get her claws unhooked from the fabric of his rug, her defiant hissing and blunt refusal to listen making him increasingly more helpless by the second.
“you mad at me for leaving yesterday?” he shook her body a little in emphasis. “is that what this is?”
“meow!”
“rika— how am i supposed to afford your things if you don’t want me going outside?!—”
“—MEOW!—”
a tiny chime rang through his apartment and he stilled.
“rika.” he lowly spoke, sucking in a breath through his nose. “get your nails out of the rug now.”
her ears flicked.
“meow.”
yuta dropped her and stood up straight to get the door, choosing to give up for the sake of keeping his sanity and not lose it more than he already had.
with shaky clammy hands he reached and unlocked the door, swallowing down the ginormous lump in his throat as he grabbed onto the knob and twisted it, slowly pulling the door open while attempting to cut off his ballistic rapid thoughts and seem normal.
he almost didn’t hear your greeting from how loud his pulse was pounding in his ears.
“hi!” you gorgeously smiled. “i could hear you fighting with rika from down the hall heehee!”
his neck grew hot, twitching and fidgeting in place at the sight of you dolled up.
beautiful thing.
“really?” he laughed breathlessly. “sorry she— she's being bad right now so she might—”
as if on cue a piercing hiss echoed throughout the apartment, yuta immediately snapping his head down behind him to see rika standing there defensively, her back slightly arched and pinpoint pupils shooting daggers at you.
“hey no!” he scolded, bending down to grab her. “what are you doing rika, huh?”
he lifted her overhead to look at her straight on.
“she’s the nicest to me... so handle her gently, okay? as if she were a butterfly or a flower.”
your eyes softened over his words then, gaze trained on yuta as he moved to set rika down on the ground, her shrills of protest smoothing to tiny cute mewls.
“i’m really sorry.” he apologized once more with a weary smile, shuffling to the side to let you in. “she’s never been friendly to anyone...”
you pouted and tilted your head, looking at the disgruntled little kitty as you walked in— rika padding away to settle in her plushy bed in the corner of the living room.
“that’s okay!” you cheerfully reassured, bright eyes looking around his spacious place. “i'm the one invading her space so she’s totally justified.”
“i’m still trying to get her to be nicer though.” yuta shut the door and trailed behind you, anxiously toying with his fingers. “it’s one of the reasons i can’t take her with me to public places... she’ll hiss at anyone who talks to me.”
you giggled and turned to face him, the charms on your purse jingling as you did so.
the sight of you standing in the middle of his apartment was something he thought he’d never get to see.
“it’s because she adores you.” you wrung your hands behind your back and smiled warmly at him, his chest fluttering at the look of it. “can’t blame a girl for loving her man.”
he laughed and nodded, though he couldn’t help but apply those words to you.
it's probably why you stayed with your boyfriend... the reasoning simple enough and easy to digest and yet—
he didn’t like it at all.
yuta quietly cleared his throat.
“you uh— you ready to go?” he felt around his pockets for his keys. “can i get you anything before we leave? i think i have um... iced tea or—”
“oh no i'm okay yu! but thank you!” you grinned. “i actually brought something for you—”
you dug into your purse and moved things around for a little bit before pulling your hand out.
on an offering palm lay a little strawberry puff pastry— adorned with sparkling drizzles of honey glaze and chocolate and powdered sugar, wrapped neatly in plastic wrap and a thin pinky bow to tie it off.
“it’s from the bakery down the street from where i live! as a thank you for letting me tag along with you today.”
yuta stared wide eyed and shocked at the shiny dessert, thinking that you were seriously the purest girl he’d ever come to know, and wondering how in the fuck he was ever going to get over you as his hand slowly reached to take it.
“you didn’t have to buy me anything y/n i— i honestly don’t mind you coming along at all...”
he held the pastry in his grasp like it was the most precious thing he’d ever received.
because it definitely was.
“but thank you!” he sent you a big dazzling smile then, the first one you’ve seen to actually be more genuine and happier, the crinkles by his eyes serving as a testament as he looked down at the dessert again.
you grinned.
he must really love cupcakes!
yuta insisted that he drove the both of you around for the day, and the nerves he felt about having you in his apartment were fucking dumb compared to what he felt now that you were in his car— the scent of your peachy perfume utterly consuming his entire being as he drove to the nearest pet store, a deathly grip on the steering wheel, knuckles dead white and his posture rigid, yuta trying with his life to slow his breathing and not make his jitters obvious while listening to you talk.
“did you have lunch yet yu?” you asked, scouring around in your bag again. “maybe we can get something to eat after we get rika her kitty tree.”
“we could do that yeah.” he replied softly, head briefly turning in your direction to see you pull out a small handheld digital camera, adorned with bubbly glittering stickers of hearts and stars and anything else of the like, a charmed strap that faintly rattled every time you moved.
yuta squeakily laughed as you proceeded to then snap multiple pictures of him, snapshot after snapshot as you loomed over the console to get the angles you wanted, a rising blush to his cheeks at your close proximity and the way your perfume wafted in his nostrils, all of it unfortunately causing him to turn his face away and practically hide.
you giggled and leaned back against your seat just as he made a left.
“sorry yu. you're my favorite victim for pictures.”
his heart made a little leap.
a— a favorite?
“i can’t imagine i'm a very good one...” he shyly smiled at you before pulling into the pet store’s parking lot.
you offendedly gasped.
“what in the world— yuta do you have any idea how perfectly candid you are like— all of the time?”
the blush on his cheeks deepened.
“candid?” he pulled into the first spot he found, switching his gear to park and shutting off the ignition.
“yeah! like you’re naturally just in your own element every time i see you.” you shrugged. “everything you do is honest and like... unguarded in a way. you're not at all performative which is something i appreciate a lot.”
yuta could only stare as you explained.
“and it comes across beautifully in photographs.” you finished off gently. “that’s why you’re my favorite.”
he eventually gave you a singular stiff nod, swallowing. “r— right.”
your perspective on the simplest of things was what yuta loved most about you.
and he guessed it was quite fitting for someone like you— a photographer who’s entire purpose and career was to take simple things and interpret them with a lens that was vastly different from others, to find the meaning in something that probably didn’t need nor have one and yet you managed to find it, capturing it and turning it into a project that was entirely your own, to expose that said meaning, showcasing it in a way that made it easier for others to finally understand and take notice of.
and maybe that’s what you'd done with him... maybe that was the reason why you cheered him up after every failing practice or game, or refused to let him talk negatively about himself, or why you even gave him the time of day when his other teammates could probably give way more than he ever could.
or why you quietly sat with him after being the reason for a big loss for his team, his head hung low, your hands folded in your lap, not saying anything and just offering you, your presence and the sound of your rhythmic breathing subconsciously aiding in pulling him from his overbearing thoughts of failure... instead exchanging them for counting your breaths or what kind of charm strap you had on your camera this time.
you were always switching them out depending on the day. sometimes they were dangling fruits, or little pink hearts, or stars.
though the small bears were particularly his favorite.
“...yu?”
he jumped and snapped his head up, turning to look at you.
“y— yeah? yes?”
“are you okay?” you frowned a bit. “you looked upset i— fuck was it because of what i said?—”
“no!—”
without realizing he reached and quickly took your hand, holding it gently in his as he shook his head side to side.
“no.” he repeated. “i was just... thinking.”
you laughed then. “you’re always thinking yuta.”
neither of you seemed to notice that he was holding your hand.
“i’ll have you know by the way that itsuki is my least favorite victim.” you quipped. “i hardly even edit over his pictures. i leave the breakouts on his face because fuck that guy.”
he couldn’t help but burst out laughing, you following suit as the two of you leaned over in a fit of snickers and hiccups, both your hearts healing and feeling happy for two entirely different reasons, yet the outcome was the same.
you were of the same rhythm.
his eyes flickered down and he stilled.
hands— soft— your hands—
“oh god i'm so sorry!—” he ripped his hands away and you jumped in your seat.
“what?! what?!—”
“i didn’t mean it i swear i didn’t realize i'm so sorry!—”
“oh! yu it’s fine don’t worry—”
“i’m being so fucking weird i'm sorry—”
“yuta holy hell relax!—”
once you both managed to get inside, it didn’t take long for yuta to pick out a cat tree for rika, since he knew that girl like the back of his hand and had her likes and dislikes engraved in his mind like a vice, more so for the reason that he’d never hear the end of her meowing complaints if she didn’t like it.
but he funnily dragged out his decision making for the purpose of dragging the hang out for a little while longer with you...
“oh! what about this one?” you excitedly pointed to a cream colored cat tree, filled with small obstacles and ridges that rika could run her claws over. “does she like this color? aww it has a little extra nook! she can take naps in that instead of fucking up your apartment.”
he giggled. “very true! i don’t think she’ll be a big fan of the little dangling ball things though.” he pointed to what he was referring to. “i’ve bought her an obstacle course with that before and she threatened me.”
you snorted, wholeheartedly amused at the fact that yuta’s cat seemed like she was a tiny dictator.
“i wish i had a cat.” you pouted. “reno hates them.”
he raised a brow as the two of you continued walking down the aisle.
“don’t you live on your own?” he asked you, and you nodded.
“yeah but— he’s over all the time so it’d be kind of an issue... OH! look at that one! i think she’d love that one!—”
he frowned.
“y/n it’s your apartment...” he countered softly, following where you were pointing and almost chuckling, as it was actually the exact cat tree he had picked out already for rika.
“no i know.” you smiled up at him. “i just want him to be comfortable while he’s over... i would hate for him not to be.”
yuta pursed his lips, begrudgingly accepting your response and choosing to move on despite the gnawing in his head.
“that one’s good!” he pointed to the cat tree. “good eye heeh! she’ll love that one.”
“really?!” you gushed, your twinkling little eyes hyperactively scouring over the tree. “oh i'm so happyyy! hopefully i get on her good side with it.”
he laughed and took note of the product number so he could report back to the cashier. “you will! i'll tell her you picked it out.”
the two of you then began your trek down to the front desk, the pet store nearly entirely vacant except for a few individuals here and there passing through various aisles, the soft hum of radio music buzzing through the building as you walked and chatted along.
“what do you feel like eating for lunch?” yuta sent you a friendly smile, amused at the way you were taking pictures of practically everything with your digital camera.
“hm?” you swiveled your body around in his direction without taking the device away from your face, the lens pointed directly at him now.
“oh anything yu! i'm not picky.” you snapped a picture of him, the flash going off briefly as you did so. “you can choose.”
yuta showed the cashier the product number once they got to the front, them nodding before disappearing off somewhere in the back.
“mmmm...” he leaned his hip against the register and crossed his arms, eyes trailing to the big windows at the front of the store with a clear view of the outside. “is there anything you prefer? maybe we can—”
he paused, gaze catching a familiar area across the street from the plaza— bustling with people as they walked through several grouped tents and stands, their arms packed full of goodies or paper shopping bags.
“oh the farmer’s market is today!” yuta turned his head to look at you again. “i’ve heard it's really nice!”
“is it?” you asked with a growing smile, standing on your tippy toes and craning your body around to try and see for yourself.
“uh huh!” yuta raised a hand then to nervously scratch the back of his neck. “do you... do you maybe wanna go there? see what they have and we can get something to eat there? if— if you’re okay with that?”
you frantically nodded, completely and heartily in love with the proposed idea as you excitedly looked out the window again.
“oh my god yes can we?! i looove farmer’s markets so much there’s always a stand with a fuck ton of charms—”
your boyfriend had been blowing up your phone pretty much the second you and yuta got to the pet store, all to which you ignored— hitting the mute button and shoving it somewhere in your bag as the two of you loaded up rika’s cat tree, the thing coming in a rather huge box that you made sure was secured snug in the backseat of his car, the both of you starting your walk across the street to the farmer’s market after.
yuta didn’t think he’d ever seen you in this sort of lighting before, with the barely setting sunny rays glooming over your skin and pretty face, your eyes seemingly more brilliant than earlier as they glimmered with each time you turned your head just the right way with the sun, or as they enthusiastically looked over the mountains of produce or endless bouquets in particular stands that you browsed.
and he grinned warmly with every moment you especially lit up at various selections of apricots or peaches, or buckets of lilies wrapped up in newspaper— stopping each time to gently graze your fingertips along the petals and mention how beautiful they were.
yuta didn’t think he’d ever get to do any of this with you... and yet here he was anyway, sharing a basket full of freshly washed strawberries with you as you walked along the busy market, chatting away about almost everything and anything under the sun, like you always seemed to do whenever you found yourselves together, stuttering and fumbling over his words but okay with it so long as it made you laugh.
it was a price he was more than happy to pay.
“how is it that you can’t remember how you started playing football?” you quirked a brow, a hand hovering over your mouth as you munched on a strawberry. “you lying to me yu?”
“no i’m not i swear!” he giggled boyishly, looking down at the fruity basket and picking up another berry. “i don’t know why but i genuinely can’t remember... i have shit memory.”
“you are lying to me.” you swallowed, turning your head as your eyes briefly caught another bucket of cutey lilies while you strolled along. “you’re the one that reminds me half of the time that i've left my water bottle behind in your cubby.”
yuta shyly snickered some more, biting down on the fruit and speaking through chews. “it's like i kind of remember playing it... around maybe when i was seven? eight? but nothing much before that. it's kind of a blur to me.”
you disappointedly sighed, dissatisfied with the fact that you’d never come to know the origins of how a kind boy like yuta became interested in douchey football.
“oh this one’s really good!” he cheerily beamed suddenly, your mind snapping out of its thoughts as you turned your head.
“what?” you perked up. “the strawberry?”
“mhm!” he chewed some more. “all of them are but this one is really sweet.”
“oh! can i try?”
“—‘course!—”
just as yuta thought you meant to try one from the basket, you stopped and leaned over to try his, your lips enclosing around the area that he just bit before gnawing down yourself, yuta’s heart dropping to the pits of his ass and his eyes bulging out of their sockets.
indirectkissindirectkissindirectki—
your lips gradually slid off the strawberry and you munched a little, your expression sparkling up as the extra sweet flavoring coated your tongue and tastebuds, nodding vigorously with a growing closed lipped smile.
“you’re so right!” you gushed, carefully wiping the tiny juice remnants from the corners of your mouth. “aw lucky you yuta! you picked a tasty one heehee!”
yuta remained frozen in place, watching you.
he didn’t know why that made heat rush through every fucking corner of his system, his sick brain replaying what you’d just done again and again as his gaze trickled down to the strawberry— glistening and shiny from just being wrapped around your plush lips.
timidly then— he lifted the fruit and brought it to his mouth, mind entirely blank as his own lips enclosed around where yours had just been to take a bite, yuta’s movements lingering and slow, but with a head that ran fucking rampant at the fact that he was basically savoring up the traces of your pretty mouth...
and somehow the berry tasted even sweeter this time around.
yuta couldn’t bring himself to look at you in the eyes after that as he chewed, for he was too busy simmering in his sheepishness while you continued to skip around and excitedly pull him to different stands, having him pose next to varieties of fruits and veggies so you could snap a photo with your camera.
it was genuinely all too much for him to take, but he didn’t give a shit. not with the way you looked at him and only him in this moment... giggling with him and— talking to him like he wasn’t the biggest fuck up in the world... but someone who was important. special.
you were about to prance off to a little charm stand— the first one you finally managed to come across— when you felt a hand snake around your wrist then, gently stopping you for a moment and you looking over your shoulder to see yuta, an unreadable expression on his face as he looked down at you.
you curiously tilted your head, and he blushed, diverting his gaze off to the side and raising his other arm to scratch the back of his neck.
what the fuck was he even doing?—
“is everything okay?” you asked softly, and his dilated pupils shot back to you.
“y— yeah! i—” he struggled, arm falling back over his side and the hold around your wrist slightly tightening, swallowing the tickling lump in his throat as he stared.
“...hi.”
you blinked before giggling, a cheeky smile bursting through your face as you did so.
“hi yu...” you replied, voice so sweet and soft that his knees nearly gave out.
why couldn’t it be him?
why couldn’t you be with someone that didn’t make you cry?
there were so many things that he wanted to say to you, and a million more other things he fucking couldn’t, everything that was you hitting him like a brick all at once and torturing him, taunting him... dangling a girl like you over his head and laughing in his face at the fact that you could never be with a guy like him.
even if your boyfriend was out of the picture... you were simply way out of his league. you were never meant to be with him.
“...yu?”
slowly, his fingers slipped from your wrist and he let you go, a sunken look to his eyes as he kept his head down.
“s— sorry i don’t—”
you then caught his wrist and he stilled, watching as you raised a hand and ran a gentle fingertip over his undereyes.
“you need sleep yu... how many times do i have to tell you hm?”
he needed you.
because your genuine concern, and the look of your brows slightly pinching together as your gaze stayed focused and anxious on the deep bags under his eyes, nearly made him stupidly fucking blurt that he loved you.
“m’sorry...” he sent you a wobbly smile, and you reciprocated with a tender one of your own. “rika keeps me up at night.”
“you and i both know it’s not just rika.”
you sighed through your nose and let your arm fall back to your side, your other hand giving his wrist a reassuring squeeze.
“you need to stop— letting them so much into your head yu…” you stressed softly. “your management, your teammates, the— the public or whoever… you can’t keep caring so much about what they think of you.”
there wasn’t ever a day that went by where you weren’t worrying about yuta… especially on days where you were all clocked in for practice or team meet ups, you baring witness to most of yuta’s hardships as he was constantly being told his ear off over certain play mistakes on the field, or weekly goals he was just barely managing to meet— his teammates weirdly harboring rights to make comments about anything at him that pissed you off like nothing else in your life.
“s’hard…” he weakly laughed, his pinks cheeks growing deeper as he held your worried gaze. “it’s a constant thing… but i’ve— i’ve grown thick skin to it! i promise i have.”
he smiled comfortingly at you, though your expression didn’t change.
“but you shouldn’t have to.” you shook your head. “you shouldn’t have to do that in the first place and just— do you. as cheesy as it sounds.”
“y/n—”
“you know what i think?”
he paused, his sleep deprived eyes searching yours for a beat before quietly responding.
“what?”
“i think fuck your management, fuck your teammates, and fuck anyone who gives you shit about anything that has to do with what you do on the field.”
you gripped his wrist tighter for reasons you didn’t know nor really understood, but it was almost like— desperation for him to get you to comprehend what you were saying… to believe it, you grasping at anything just so he could find the will to not care and finally let himself flourish at games, without the brooding habit of constantly checking over his shoulder in fear of someone’s unsolicited opinion.
“and you—”
you pressed a gentle finger to the middle of his chest and planted the tip there, a crawling tingly feeling spreading out underneath his shirt by it.
“—should think that way too yuta.”
you tilted your head.
“do you have any idea how much shit i’ve gotten from so many people in this industry because of what i do? and because i don’t have a dick?”
a giggling snort burst through his lips, and you grinned at that.
“i’m serious!” you laughed. “a lot of the time people don’t take me seriously… so they’re bratty and give me attitude and think my pictures are stupid.”
yuta’s face immediately dropped into a frown.
“they’re not stupid—”
you interjected. “i know that… do you see?”
you sent him another kind smile, the rest of your fingers subconsciously unraveling to settle flat over his chest in comfort.
“i get shit from people left and right but i know that my pictures are great just the way they are. i don’t need anyone critiquing my technique or telling me to change— whatever… i figured that out on my own.”
you looked at him pointedly. “—and without following anyone’s expectations... so allow yourself to do that.”
with each genuine sentence that flowed through your lips, they inexplicably moved him, so much so that his brain almost couldn’t fucking process how much of it made sense, and how much of it actually helped him— finally alleviating the sense of burden he felt for himself that he spent never ending hours judging and— and loathing just because everybody else did.
except you.
it was never you that did that.
you were always forgiving and levelheaded, firm in your own decisions about your career and who you were as a person, yuta spending practically every moment of his life since he’d met you watching how resilient you were, how you never let anyone talk down on you a certain way or— give the time of day to those who didn’t deserve it.
you were confident. bright and full of ambition and everything yuta idolized and cherished.
and the way you looked now as he stared with wide wonder filled eyes, you wholeheartedly representing a gorgeous walking angel that cared too much and worried tenfold about someone as painfully average as him, you actually seeing something in him despite the fact that he’d proven time and time again that there wasn't anything to see...
was the most painful yet beautiful privilege he had ever been given the fleeting chance to have. and yuta would never take that for granted, even when the time came to part from you for good due to the way life just was.
you were caught off guard by yuta’s random quiet burst of laughter then, squeaky and skittish and one you absolutely adored, the biggest of smiles stretching across his face as he held his gaze with you, a little happy twinkle in his eye with a hand over his mouth to try and mush his giggling.
“what?” you laughed along confusedly, your hand on his chest withdrawing to your side.
he quickly waved you off, an expression of fondness creeping in.
“you know what i think?”
you blinked. “w— what yu?”
“i think… that i wish i could be just like you.”
you stilled.
“y’know… strong. and determined.” he continued, the wrist you held carefully twisting in your grasp to cradle your hand— palm over palm as he stared down at them. “with you saying fuck everyone n’their expectations... i want to be like that.”
you tried to ignore the pounding in your chest, swallowing the lump in your throat as your own eyes stayed trained to where your palms met, the hustle and bustle of the packed farmer’s market completely drowning over from where the two of you stood, isolating you until it was just you and him and the feeling of his palm.
the warmth of the sun made itself comfy on the skin of your hands, on yuta’s tall frame and on the side of his sweet face... and somehow that really confused you.
why were you confused?
“well i've— i've also gotten in trouble for it in the past so...” your shy eyes briefly flickered up to meet his before they quickly diverted. “find a good middle ground heh...”
“but it’s also gotten you where you are now, right?”
your gaze slowly dragged up to see yuta already looking at you— an aura of ease to him.
“they don’t just hand out your kind of position like candy y/n.” he murmured softly. “so don’t change the way you hold yourself... and don’t let anyone disrespect you either.”
he was truly the sweetest boy ever.
and god you were so fucking confused, but the only thing that undoubtedly made sense to you and felt right was yuta... you pursing your lips before unexpectedly reaching out and wrapping your arms around his torso, pulling him into a squeezing hug as you shut your eyes tight, the side of your cheek pressed to his chest.
you had never had anyone say something like that to you... so it was nice to hear from someone’s opinion you valued very very much.
yuta felt his heart stop and a breath catch in his throat.
“thank you for hanging out with me today yu...” you quietly spoke, your embrace only tightening as yuta tried his best not to pass out. “and for everything else.”
you were hugging him.
just like he’d pictured before except— the real thing was softer.
and smelled like peach perfume.
hesitantly, slowly... he brought his own arms to snake around your shoulders, bringing you in further to his chest as you held him without any means of letting go as of this moment, him hoping that you wouldn’t feel nor hear the rapid beating of his heart while he hugged you back.
“you’re— you’re welcome.”
against his better judgement he craned his neck down, ever so gently leaning his cheek against the side of your head, guiltily wanting to further engulf himself in the sugary scent of you.
“you okay?” he murmured, and he felt you silently nod against his chest.
were you?
when was the last time you felt this way? have you ever?
and... when was the last time reno asked if you were okay? or didn’t make you feel like it was your fault for getting in trouble at your previous jobs because you stood up for yourself?
why was he such a piece of shit sometimes and yet— you always forgave him? why were you letting yuta down by allowing reno to do that..?
at the overwhelming reminder of him, it was like a switch went off in your brain, a bitter one that pulled you from the friendly kindness of yuta and back into the reality that your boyfriend wasn’t the man he used to be.
you pulled away and sent yuta a weak smile, taking a step back and readjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder.
“don’t let anyone disrespect you too, alright?” you pushed with a quirking brow, and he laughed, nodding as he crossed his arms over his chest— trying to ignore the sinking feeling he got when you pulled away.
“work hard and make them feel stupid yuta.”
you chose not to attempt to make sense of whatever the fuck was going on in your head in regards to yuta.
it's not like you could’ve anyway, because you just didn’t fucking know, the only thing being very abundantly clear to you was that yuta was the greatest friend you had probably ever had in your life.
because he spent the rest of your hangout catering to you, making you giggle or pointing out various things he thought you’d like at the farmer’s market, him sometimes coming out of butt fuck nowhere with a glittery charm strap for you that he believed you’d love, which you in fact freaking did, profusely sputtering out how much it was and to let you pay for it, all to which he refused every single time and turned a blind eye, even when you threatened him.
your warnings grew in hostility when he didn’t let you pay for literally anything, especially when it came to grabbing a bite to eat at the first proper food stand you both saw, you trying to jump around his broad frame or squeeze yourself in between him and the cash register to shove through your card, but yuta simply taking repeated steps to block you out— snickering at your huffing and puffing and giving you a pat to the head.
you couldn’t remember the last time you hung out with someone and had such a blast... to the point where you really didn’t want to go home at the end of the day.
but that was okay, you’d see yuta on monday!
“what the hell is that.”
flopping your purse down on the kitchen island upon arriving home, you gave reno a look before your eyes dropped back down to what he was holding.
“chocolates.” he replied, holding the lavish ribboned box out for you. “to say sorry.”
you tiredly breathed out through your nose as you stared at it, shaking your head after a few moments.
“don’t want it.”
you went to step around him and he quickly grabbed your upper arm, stopping you.
“no— babe c’mon wait—”
“what reno...” you sighed. “i thought you’d be gone by now it’s late.”
“why, you trying to get rid of me?” he snorted. “i got you chocolates babe come on... don’t be like that.”
“thanks now go traffic is heavy right now—”
he tossed the box off to the side on the island and wrung you in by your arm, stuffing your face in his chest.
“stop y/n.” he mumbled. “seriously i don’t wanna fight.”
neither did you? why was he just making it seem like it was you that—
“you know i love you. right?”
you bit down hard on your tongue, his words for some reason stinging rather than doing what they were supposed to do.
“hey—”
he squeezed you a bit, and you looked up.
“you wanna say it back to me? you know i've been stressed from work i thought you’d understand that.”
you pursed your lips. “i— i do—”
“but you’re acting like i did something awful.” he countered. “makes me feel like a shitty bad boyfriend—”
“no i—” you quickly shook your head, your heart aching a little as you pulled back a bit. “i don’t mean to do that m’sorry...”
“it’s just hard like— you know i care about you... i don’t know why you’re questioning that y/n. i’m trying my best—”
you gnawed on your bottom lip as he kept talking, feeling like utter shit that you’d made him feel this way and added on to the pile of stress he already had.
you knew his work was incredibly taxing and demanding... it probably wasn’t nice for him to deal with you leaving like that earlier instead of just... spending time with him...
“i really am sorry reno.” you mumbled, and he paused his tangent, a sigh flowing through his lips before he leaned down and pressed a quick peck to your head.
“it’s all good. i just don’t wanna keep fighting y’know? it sucks when you always assume the worst of me sometimes...”
you solemnly nodded.
god why were you such a bitch?
you were always mourning the man he was and yet he was right fucking there in front of you. it was you that kept driving him away and— and making him this way...
you were just expecting too much of him...
you stood on your tippy toes for a small kiss, kindly smiling up at him after.
“thank you for the chocolates ren.”
that was often how it went for you both.
reno would fuck up, you’d get mad, you’d fight, you’d storm off to god knows where until you had enough of a head to come back, he’d give some kind of gift that was waiting for you in the kitchen or your bedroom, and you’d forgive him, along with the bundle of explanations he had for you as to why he did what he did.
and it hurt yes... but you couldn’t blame him nor did you. he just had a lot on his plate and needed patience from you, and you couldn’t understand why that was so difficult for you to just wrap your little dumb brain around the task and be nicer to him.
thankfully though, the weeks that followed up until the homecoming game reno and you barely fought or had issues with each other, you spending most of your time together at your apartment watching movies or just lounging around ordering in food, content to be cuddled up with him and have him without any bickering or disappointments, which definitely helped you stay focused for the big day instead of running your head nonstop through whatever recent argument you’d had with him.
“nanami you need to smile more.”
“i am smiling.”
you snorted and playfully rolled your eyes, holding your big chunky camera back over your face to continue photographing.
“maybe try with teeth.” yuta suggested from the spot next to you, his own quiet laughter that he poorly tried to mask further edging you on into a fit of giggles.
“i apologize y/n.” nanami readjusted his footing and switched the ball to tuck underneath his other beefy arm. “i’m afraid i'm not the greatest with photos.”
you gawked.
“are you kidding kento? do you have any idea how many emails i get from the girlies asking to have you shirtless for the yearly calendar?”
nanami stilled in surprise, a rising hue to his cheeks.
“i— well—”
“i get hundreds of them. hundreds. and i don’t blame them.”
“neither do i.” yuta shrugged with a cheeky grin as you continued clicking away, the camera shuddering with each photo you took. “but maybe you should nanami! you’re retiring soon i think this could be a farewell gift to your lady friends.”
“lady friends.” nanami repeated, voice smooth and levelled as he quirked a brow. “i don’t believe i follow.”
“your fangirls.” you cut in, craning your body a certain way to capture the angle you wanted. “your sluts if you will. your good precious girls—”
yuta burst out laughing as nanami stood there like he’d just seen a fucking ghost, his cheeks pinker than ever as he cleared his throat and tried to get his head straight.
“i— pardon—”
you gasped and popped your head up from your camera.
“wait but would you actually?!”
“absolutely not.”
“nanammiiii!—”
“ten minutes ‘til kickoff!”
several players nodded or gruffed along in response at the announcement, the locker room's ambience picking up in speed and urgency as everyone tried to get in their finishing touches of prep, nervous jitters flying all around with articles of clothing being chucked across the room for some fucking reason that made you laugh.
you turned to yuta then, planting a heavy hand on his bulky shoulder pad and giving him a single shake.
“you ready?” you cutely beamed up at him, and he gulped. “to make them feel stupid?”
“i feel stupid.”
you giggled as your hand slid off him. “stop yu the game hasn’t even started yet... you’ll do just fine.”
“i hope so.” his lips curved into a wobbly smile as he looked down at you, his eyes briefly flickering to the dangling charm strap you had on your camera, the one he bought for you at the farmer’s market, his heart doing a little somersault at the sight even if he’d already seen you with it multiple times.
“you like it?” he asked quietly, his head nudging to the charm.
your head dropped to where he was signaling before it snapped back up, your eyes wide and shimmery.
“yes! oh absolutely yu i love it so much!”
he laughed softly and nodded, a happy little closed lipped smile on his face as his eyes trailed over your bubbly expression, remembering the moment when the two of you had stood just like this... and you hugged him.
he felt incredibly silly for still being hung up on that when it was weeks ago that it happened.
but what was even worse was the fact that he’d even fucking dreamt about it like a creep, entirely mortified by his subconscious mind that it’d snap him out of his sleep— lying awake for the rest of the night until the sun came up and rika was relentlessly meowing from down the hall for food.
“okkotsu.”
he pulled himself from his thoughts and turned to the source, nanami standing by the locker room exit with his helmet in hand.
“the cheerleaders are performing now on the field. you'll be able to speak to miss y/l/n after the game.”
yuta froze in alarm.
“oh yes! of course!” he nervously laughed, scratching the back of his neck and fucking flustered. “i’ll— i'll be right there...”
with a singular nod nanami stepped through the doors and left, leaving the both of you alone in the cleared-out locker room.
“you should probably get going.” you smiled sweetly before setting your camera down, adjusting the strap so the device hung by your hip. “i’ll see you out there? look serious so i can take good pictures.”
“sure thing!” he cheekily grinned, shiny and big and one that made you pause a bit to look at. “i’ll definitely try.”
you placed a palm on his padded up chest and gave him a pat.
“and play yu. just play. don't pay attention to anyone else okay?”
yuta had lost count of how many instances he had where he wanted to kiss you.
much like now, the feeling so freaking unbearable that he had to physically step back away from you, your hand slipping from the fabric of his jersey as he did.
“i will.” he swallowed, eyes everywhere but yours— his change of demeanor making you raise a quizzical brow. “don’t worry heh...”
“what’s wrong.”
he stiffened and his gaze shot to you.
“e— eh?”
“you’re easy to read yuta what’s wrong tell me—”
he wants to shove his tongue inside your mouth that’s what’s fucking wrong—
“nothing! n— nothing i swear!—”
“yuta.”
“i swear i swear please i swear!—”
“okkotsu we’re lining up!”
yuta's teammate came to his saving and he booked it to the exit.
“i’ll see you on the field!” he called out to you, and you grumbled where you stood.
there was definitely something with him...
you waved goodbye and he slipped through the doors, your mind only preoccupied with his weird behavior for a few seconds until it switched to something graver.
his performance for the homecoming game. and the outcome.
“it hasn’t been an easy night for the heartliners so far ladies and gentlemen! they’ve struggled to move the ball and that scoreboard reflects it.”
“— yeeaah that you are right buddy! they’re unfortunately down ten points behind the opposing team and time is starting to become a problem... though surprisingly not at the fault of yuta okkotsu this time around—”
you rolled your eyes and turned down the volume of your radio, pulling an earbud out and readjusting the strap of your camera.
how the fuck were commentators even allowed to make comments like that?
as much as it pissed you off, they were thankfully correct, because yuta was in fact not at fault for the horrendous play his team was doing against the opposing, them basically handing out touchdown’s like nothing almost every minute due to their big fat ego’s, as if them just shy of making it to the superbowl was something to boast about a whole season later.
“hey! y/l/n!”
you spun around to see itsuki, standing by the refreshment station with a squeeze water bottle in hand.
god.
“what can i help you with itsuki?” you replied, clicking around in the settings of your camera as you walked up to him.
“you enjoying the game?”
“i—”
“hey when’s the newsletter dropping?” he interjected, tipping his head back to squeeze a stream of water into his mouth, gulping it down. “i wanna see the pictures you took of me.”
“uhhh probably sometime by the end of next week.” you sighed, your eyes trailing over the active field to try and spot yuta. “i need to get homecoming game photos before i start editing all the other ones.”
“oh sweet! you got any of me yet?” he grinned, and you had to bite down on the inside of your cheek to refrain from snapping at him.
“nope.”
he gawked. “what?! why not?!”
“because the last time we had a photo session you were bratty and annoying.”
itsuki scoffed. “yeah right like i was... you just weren’t doing your job i had to fix—”
“what the hell are you saying?”
your heart leaped at the familiar voice, spinning around to see yuta himself with furrowed brows and a sweaty flushed face, chest slightly pumping from just getting off the field.
“what.” itsuki shrugged.
“don’t talk to her like that man she works with us not for us.”
“i didn’t even say anything? you must be glad though you’re not fucking up the game for once—”
“oh hell no— itsuki!”
your bark made him shut his mouth and look at you.
“the hell’s the matter with you? piss off and go sit back down on the bench.”
“who are you, the coach?” itsuki rolled his eyes. “i’m not listening to shit from you—”
“itsuki knock it off i said don’t talk to her like that—”
“and what makes you think i'm gonna listen to you okkotsu? hm?” itsuki spat at him. “lowest stats on a player i've ever seen—”
you stepped forward and yuta quickly flung his hands on your shoulders to stop you.
“well maybe you should start dingbat! you haven’t scored a single touchdown and you’re benched today for being a moron—”
“itsuki! you bothering the photographer again?!”
itsuki's face dropped and he turned his body to look behind him, the coach for the team standing there a few feet away with narrowed eyes.
“no sir!—”
“the hell are you doing off the bench anyway? go sit!”
itsuki huffed and tossed his water bottle in the refill bucket, not sparing you nor yuta another glace before trudging his way through the grass to get back on the bench, muttering to himself.
“what is wrong with him?” yuta mumbled, his serious eyes watching itsuki’s back for a moment until they switched down to meet yours. “are you okay?”
“oh i'm good! i don't care about that man don’t worry.” you waved him off. “he can spit at me whatever his heart desires i couldn’t care less.”
yuta relaxed a little in relief, though that didn’t get rid of the absolute irritation he felt for itsuki talking to you like that.
similar to whenever he heard your boyfriend do it.
“i’m proud of you, yu!” you gushed suddenly, and he smiled a little.
“yeah? what for?”
“for playing so well!” you smiled brightly. “you're really holding down the fort from where you’re stationed on the field. i got really great photos of you!”
a look of surprise crossed his face and he let out a breathy laugh.
“r— really? i feel like i'm not doing much...”
“you’ve caught every ball nanami’s thrown at you, right?” you tilted your head. “you’re a quarterback’s dream right now heehee!”
jesus how lovely you were.
“i— thanks!” he widely grinned, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm. “i appreciate it y/n.”
“mhm! maybe after the game we c—”
you paused suddenly and pressed into your earbud, listening for a bit before pursing your lips to the side.
“sorry yu i gotta go.” you pouted. “communications wants specific shots from the other side of the field.”
“oh that’s okay!” he kindly replied. “i’ll see you later?”
“yes!” you began taking a few steps back. “i’ll come find you in the locker room’s after the game!”
he sent you a thumbs up and you fully turned around, making your way through the sidelines to get to where you needed to go.
yuta was glad he was able to be of good use to you for pictures today, and even more at the fact that he wasn’t screwing up the game like he typically did, it sincerely being because of what you had told him the day you both went to the market, your advice so incredibly impactful and genuine to him that he couldn’t help but hold onto it and adore it with his entire heart.
it wasn’t like you never told him things like that though, because you always did almost every single time he saw you... but maybe it was because it was during a setting that was outside of the stadium and workplace, or because you just looked so fucking pretty to him under the golden light of the sun, whichever it was he didn’t know nor really needed to know.
the point was that you believed in him.
“you thinking about her again?”
yuta jumped out of his skin and snapped his head towards the voice, his shoulders immediately relaxing once he realized it was his cheerleader friend, a breath of relief slipping past his lips as he threw his head back.
“oh my god you scared the shit out of me.”
“sorry!” she giggled. “sorry sorry... but you were i could tell you little lovesick man.”
his cheeks burned over and he fidgeted from where he stood.
“how— how do you know...”
“yuta you were literally just staring at her walking with drool coming out of your mouth.” she shook her head and set her pompom cladded hands on her hips. “guilty i say.”
he laughed and looked down, scuffing his cleats against the grass below.
“i should really stop making it so obvious...” he spoke softly. “she’s gonna catch me one day.”
“no!” the cheerleader quickly blurted, pompoms flailing out in front of her for emphasis before she dropped them. “oh absolutely not okkotsu you’re not doing that. you're not giving up on your wife.”
yuta snapped his head up with humongous wide eyes.
“my— my—”
“mhm yup yup!” she pointed a silly index finger up in the air and wagged it. “your wife your lover the mother of your children—”
with every word that flew out of her mouth— flashed a picture perfect image of each scenario, all of which did nothing but strangle his poor little heart and make him desperately try to simmer down the butterflies in his stomach.
“i feel horrible...” he mumbled, his eyes trailing over to you taking photographs on the other side of the field. “i like her so much and i... i genuinely think it’s getting worse man.”
the cheerleader sadly pouted, matching his line of sight to you out there.
having to hear yuta hopelessly in love with you and miserable was torture for her... as the cheerleader completely understood and empathized with the dilemma of loving someone you couldn’t have.
“because you love her yuta... yeah?”
he was silent for a moment before wordlessly nodding, an expression of guilt and remorse on his face.
“yeah.”
“tell her.” she gently pushed. “please man watching you keep this all inside is making me go fucking loony i don't know how much more of this i can take i worry about you like i birthed and breastfed you—”
yuta burst out laughing and he shook his head, simmering down a little to speak again.
“you know i can’t do that...” he trailed off.
“and why not.”
“her boyfriend...”
“what— the lowlife meanie?” she leaned her weight on one hip. “no mercy for him i don’t care.”
he sadly smiled at her, the both of them holding eye contact for a bit until the cheerleader eventually sighed.
“i know i know...” she spoke softly, her gaze switching to the field. “i’m so sorry yuta i really am...”
the two of them knew that it was no use, that it was inevitable unless you took a stand and put an end to your relationship that did nothing but hurt you and kept you blind to the fact.
“please don’t give up anyway yuta.” the cheerleader smiled sweetly at him, a twinkle of gloom in her eyes that matched his. “i know it seems impossible but i... i swear she’ll realize it soon. i'm still hoping for it.”
her kindness tugged at him, and he nodded, tearing his gaze away from you to look at her.
“thank you.” he gave her a pat to the head before retracting his arm back to his side. “i’m still hoping for it too.”
“no but seriously.” she pushed again. “i remember when i was crushing on my boyfriend— i thought that there was no fucking way he could ever feel the same way about me... i was devasted for so long because i convinced myself it was impossible.”
yuta quietly listened along.
“i was in such concerning amounts of denial man... and i was fucking stupid because he was giving me signals left and right that he did in fact like me.”
she bent down and swiped her pompoms up off the floor.
“my point is— i thought i was hopeless and done for for me to ever be with a guy like him... and now i've been with him for two years! sweet right?”
he giggled, nodding with a fond smile on his face. “very sweet! i'm happy for you.”
“thank you!” she smiled. “i’m saying that you’re not hopeless and done for either... she’ll come around yuta. you deserve so much to be with a girl like her.”
that was something that yuta truly didn’t believe... for a girl like you was way too good for him and way too out of his league...
was it okay for him to think for a little that maybe— he did deserve the right to have you..?
“oh!— here comes mommy i gotta go so you can have her all to yourself—”
yuta choked on his spit at what the cheerleader said, his cheeks blazing red and her doubling over in a fit of laughter.
“i’m— i'm sorry are you okay?! i— HAH!— it’s true though she’s such a mommy!—”
“who is?” you cut in.
“NO ONE!” yuta hurriedly tumbled out, panicked hands flying out in front of him as he cupped them over the cheerleaders giggling mouth. “no one is she’s just— she’s just being funny—”
“why are you silencing my girl yu?” you quirked a funny brow and shook your head. “hands down silly boy.”
he listened and instantly dropped his hands, the act only making her cackle.
“hi y/n!” she spoke through her laughter, extending her arms and pulling you in for a friendly hug. “you doing okay?”
“yes i am my love! and you? how's your first homecoming game going? is your boyfriend here to see you?”
“uh huh! he is!” she excitedly nodded, pointing behind her to a guy sitting in the v.i.p section with black spiky hair, dark sunglasses over his eyes. “and it’s going great! i'm tired and my boobs are sweaty but i'm good!”
you giggled.
“but speaking of boyfriends...” she trailed off, wringing her pompom cladded hands behind her back, leaning forward and bouncing on her tippy toes. “how are you with yours?”
yuta squirmed as he stood there, unsure if he should leave to respect your privacy or— or stay—
“oh we’re fine.” you smiled. “our anniversary is in a couple of weeks so i'm looking forward to that.”
he felt his heart ache a little, his eyes briefly catching yours before you both quickly looked away.
“aw how fuunnn!” the cheerleader gushed. “is he still being a dick?”
yuta froze at her forwardness and you laughed.
“thankfully no! can you believe it?” you fiddled a bit with your camera, an expression on your face that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. “he’s been good we just hang out at my apartment and things... but i'll let you know as soon as he pisses me off again!”
again. that was precisely the problem yuta despised so much.
it shouldn’t be again it shouldn't ever be that...
“leave him.”
you cackled then and yuta choked on his spit once more.
“i’m sorry!” she comically slapped her hands over her mouth, speaking through muffles. “i’m sorry i just love you and he makes me so mad and i just want you to be happy and yuta lo—”
yuta felt his soul evaporate from his body as he shot his arms out and wrapped them around her head, shoving her face into the crook of his arm to quiet down her blubbering that damn near spoiled his love for you and killed him.
“ahah! hahaah—”
“yu!” you gasped. “let the girl go you’re suffocating her!”
“she’s fine!” he cheesed, a big smile on his face to mask how much he was shitting it. “did you... did you catch what she said?”
“what— her hate for reno?” you shrugged. “it’s fine it’s warranted i don’t give a fuck.”
both his and the cheerleader's shoulders slumped, thankful that you hadn’t heard her almost slip up as yuta released her, plopping a hand on the top of her head after.
“i’m sorry.” he pouted. “you okay?”
“oh thank god you did that.” she breathed out, an expression of utter horror etched on her face as she shook her head. “jesus christ i need to work on shutting my mouth i have a really bad blabbering problem it’s my worst trait—”
you laughed. “it’s okay! seriously i do not mind one bit. i've had my fair share of those thoughts too my love.”
yuta and her exchanged looks.
the cheerleader didn’t question anything else after that (out of respect... because she would’ve), and the three of you continued to have small talk until she bid her goodbye’s and skipped on over to her boyfriend in the stands, the sight making you and yuta grin as you both watched him bend down and give her a bouquet of flowers from over the railing.
“she’s the sweetest girl ever.” you hummed, sighing softly through your nose. “i’m glad she has a man who values her.”
yuta nodded along, though his eyes stayed transfixed on you— his brows pinched together in worry over something about you that he still couldn’t figure out, nor did he have the courage to ask in fear of upsetting you.
it wasn’t too long after that when the coach called yuta back on the field, his break coming to a fast close as he proceeded to then hastily prep his football gear and helmet for the game, receiving the usual words of encouragement from you with a pat to his chest before you sent him off with a cute smile, an act he looked forward to every time he played.
and today would’ve been a pretty decent day! if it wasn’t for his destined fuck up.
“okkotsu no! cut through the middle!”
your face was contorted into an everlasting wince as you watched yuta play— what was supposed to be an even pass of the ball from one of the quarterbacks to him as the receiver, yuta was unfortunately running in the wrong direction...
“oh! hard watch for the fans! receiver okkotsu was expected to cut across the middle, but he’s running down field!”
“okkotsu cut through the fucking middle! you're gonna miss the ball!” a player yelled from the sidelines, his hands in his hair and your hands drawn to your chest in absolute anxiety, not wanting to accept the fact that yuta’s mistake most likely had just cost them the game...
you watched him swivel a corner then and attempt to cut through the middle of the field, when a defender from the opposing team swooped in out of fucking nowhere and leaped for the ball— it flying directly clean into his hands, landing on his two feet and making a run for it to the end zone to score a touchdown.
“and interception! that's a costly miscommunication from receiver okkotsu and quarterback shotaro.”
“yuup that’ll do it! man i gotta tell ya, i was starting to wonder when okkotsu would make his big oopsie—”
you groaned in irritation before shutting your radio off and yanking both of your earbuds out, already moving to detach the radio equipment from your waist and get it the fuck off of you, trying to block out the mixture of roaring cheers and boo’s from the crowd as the game drew to a losing close.
“you doing alright miss y/l/n?”
you snapped your head up to see nanami, just making it off the field with batted breaths and his face glistening in sweat.
“when are they replacing these commentators?” you shook your head and finally ripped the radio off, chucking it somewhere across the grass by the refreshment station with no fucks given. “they don’t even talk about the game half of the time! they just talk shit about you guys! about yuta!”
nanami slipped his helmet off and wiped the side of his face down with a nearby hand towel.
“i advise you not to grab a radio from this point moving forward.” he spoke. “they’ve been doing this sort of thing since i made it in the nfl.”
“that's the problem!” you whined, craning your body to and fro to try and catch yuta through the massive crowd of players and employee personnel. “this industry is so corrupt and i'm getting sick of it.”
“i understand.” nanami gave you a tiny closed lipped smile, tossing his hand towel over his shoulder. “being mistreated by the nfl is a given when you’re a starter. okkotsu will find his way miss y/l/n... i assure you.”
you hummed in far off acknowledgement, nodding.
“and i assure you’ll find your way to him?”
you stiffened and jerked your head up to look at him.
“e— eh?”
“hm?” he quirked a brow, wiping the sweat off of his neck with his towel. “what is it?”
“i— what do you mean—”
he simply pointed up ahead, your eyes following to see yuta coming off the field with his head hanging low.
the fuck was the matter with you?
“o— oh. right!" you nervously laughed. “thank you nanami... i’ll see you inside?”
“of course.”
you failed to notice the slight knowing lift of nanami’s lips.
“yu!” you called out, jogging up to him. “you doing alright?”
“i'm about to get fucking booted.” he spoke miserably, pulling his helmet off and shaking out the wet strands of his hair. “i fucked up so bad y/n... they’re all gonna kill me.”
“stop silly boy.” you nudged your shoulder with his bicep. “it’s only the homecoming game it’s fine. you guys’ll just have to work a little extra to get back in the running—”
“fuuucckkk fuck fuck fuck—”
yuta ran a hand down his face in exasperation, shaking his head and actively drowning in his thoughts of self-deprivation to try and listen.
“yu—”
“i’m gonna get benched for the rest of the season y/n holy fucking shit and itsuki isn't gonna shut the hell up about it either—”
“yuta do you even remember anything i told you from our day at the market?”
he faltered, eyes flickering to you as you both walked across the stadium field, shoulders slipping past various others through stuffy crowds while you traveled.
how could he forget? he’d be stupid to forget.
“of course i do.” yuta sent you a timid sweet smile. “fuck everyone. hm?”
you singularly nodded, satisfied. “exactly. and it applies to this too.”
you were exactly right.
yuta's anxiety and guilt evidently simmered down much to his surprise, his gaze trailing down to his cleats before speaking again.
“you have anything planned for your anniversary? with your boyfriend?”
you felt a small pit in your stomach then.
“not really...” you laughed. “but it’s still a bunch of weeks away so we’ll probably think of something then!”
except you fucking didn’t. he didn’t.
because the weeks that followed reno was radio silent about your anniversary, you dropping subtle hints that were apparently way too subtle for him as he still made zero mention of the date as time passed on, your mind unfortunately preoccupied with the fear of him— forgetting while you hung out with yuta one on one, or took photos for the team to submit for the nfl network, or while sitting right next to reno on your couch— the fear never leaving you and only increased in size.
you felt it wasn’t fair nor right for you to be the one to bring it up... considering his issue has always been having a bit of a lack with planning because of his stress from work...
which was okay. truly... but you’d be lying if you weren’t hoping for— something when it came to your anniversary.
and you figured you shouldn’t have let your feelings bottle up and flat out ignore them until the day came, because you spent the entirety of it in denial that reno would surprise you with something after you got off work, that he was just trying to help you feel better about working on your anniversary period so he had something special planned up his sleeve, just— anything man anything.
but there wasn’t anything. and the bottle you clogged up with all your denial and disappointment and anger, exploded in the middle of you taking photographs for the team.
“reno— i'm seriously getting so sick of your shit what do you mean you forgot?!”
you stood with your phone pressed to your ear amidst the tunnel by the locker room, thankfully the area vacant as the football players and cheerleaders were out on the field practicing and running drills.
“i thought it was next week? shit i'm sorry babe—”
“you’re sorry?!” you felt tears prickle at your eyes, hands trembling. “how the hell could you think it was next week? i bet you didn’t even know!”
“now don’t start putting words into my fucking mouth y/n i'm stressed out enough—”
“oh my god.” you breathed out in disbelief, shaking your head. “is it really so hard for you to— to plan anything with me or— remember anything?!—”
“you seriously making me feel like shit about this?!” reno raised his voice over the other line. “you had work today anyways let’s just move it to next week whatever.”
“whatever?!”
you spotted yuta’s cheerleader friend from somewhere across the field, her already looking at you with the most worried expression you’d probably ever seen on her face, your tears then spilling and flooding over your cheeks and it enough to make her immediately drop her pompoms and run to you.
“you’re such an asshole sometimes, you know that?!” you sobbed, and the scoff that followed from him angered you.
“and you’re dramatic as hell y/n dear god—”
“—put it on speaker babe put it on speaker.” the cheerleader quietly ushered you once she arrived, attempting to steady her breathing from the jog. “i need to hear what he’s saying.”
with shaky hands and a sob tumbling out of your throat you listened, pulling your phone away from your ear and putting it on speaker.
“you know i almost got fired yesterday from work?!” reno continued. “and now you’re here throwing this in my face?! can you not think about yourself for just one second—”
the cheerleader’s jaw hung to the floor and she shook her head, quickly tapping the ‘mute’ button on your phone so she could speak without him hearing.
“don’t tell me he forgot your anniversary.”
you sobbed and hiccupped, nodding through your stream of tears.
“he— he did!—”
“—oh my god i'm about to do something really fucking bad to him that’s gonna get me thrown in prison—” she reached and gripped your shoulders. “not even flowers?! a— a kiss on the lips?! and he’s talking to you like that?!”
you only continued to cry and shake your head, your unoccupied hand covering your eyes as your shoulders shuddered.
“babe you have got to leave him i'm being so serious!” she spoke exasperatedly, giving you a squeeze. “he’s crazy! he's insane! he's— he’s broke i don’t know!—”
yuta was starting to wonder why he hadn’t seen you much throughout the day.
especially when you completely disappeared from the field at one point for an extended period of time, something you never did without at least letting him know first.
“take a thirty okkotsu!”
nodding along to his coach, he sent him a small raise of the hand before jogging off the field to the refreshment station, grabbing a water bottle from the fresh rack and squeezing some into his mouth.
where had you gone?
his eyes searched across the large field as he swallowed, a brow raised in confusion as he then turned his body around to try and spot you in the stands or— somewhere, his confusion only growing once he realized that you were literally just gone.
maybe you went home early? that was always a possibility.
he would’ve liked to say goodbye to you at least...
yuta tipped his head back and squeezed a bit more water, swallowing it down and tossing the bottle in the refill bucket, beginning to walk a few ways further off the field to fetch a clean hand towel from the utility station—
when he heard it.
uncontrollable gut-wrenching sobs that sounded a lot like they were coming from you, and a man yelling utter nonsense through a phone speaker that sounded a lot like reno.
he froze in place, heart dropping to his stomach and skin going sickly pale, his feet already hurriedly carrying him to the noise coming from the tunnel— stopping just outside of it around the corner.
“—i swear to god nothing i ever do is good enough for you y/n.”
“are you seriously making this about you?!” yuta heard you hiccup. “reno you forgot our anniversary! you fucked up! why can’t you just tell me you’re sorry?!”
“because i’m not gonna apologize over something so stupid!”
his jaw hardened.
“if it really mattered this much to you, you would’ve reminded me!”
“that's the thing! i shouldn’t have to!” you cried. “jesus what is the matter with you?!”
“what’s the matter with me? look at yourself first before you say some shit like that to me.”
holy hell it took every ounce of yuta’s body and soul not to charge in the tunnel and snatch your phone from you to yell at the piece of shit you called your man, his breathing instead growing ragged as he balled his fists up at his sides.
“reno how much of an idiot— hic!— can you be to not see— that this is your fault?!”
“you always do this!” reno yelled over the other line. “one mistake and suddenly i'm the worst fuckin’ person—”
you sobbed harder and that made yuta’s chest ache so freaking badly, lifting his hands to run them down his face— a blend of frustration and sadness and violence hitting him all at once the longer he listened to your idiot boyfriend disrespect you and hurt you like that.
“that’s— that’s not what i'm saying at all!”
“hang up the phone y/n.”
he recognized that voice to be his cheerleader friend, the tinsiest sense of comfort washing over his head that was just enough to make him not charge in there, relieved that you at least had someone with you to help you.
“you know what? if you’re gonna keep attacking me like this maybe we shouldn’t even talk tonight—”
“fine by me!”
and you hung up, squeezing your phone in your hand while simultaneously digging the heels of your palms into your eyes, your head pounding from how much you’d cried and screamed as you hunched over with your back against the wall, silent sobs wracking through you.
you were exhausted.
you'd spent three fucking years attempting to keep your relationship afloat, doing literally everything— the planning, the just because gestures, the asking to hang out, all of it and yet it seemed like it was never enough for reno, him still treating you like you weren’t even on his list of priorities to begin with.
were you ever?
“goddd—” the cheerleader whined, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a tight embrace. “i hate seeing you like this... you’re too pretty to be doing this...”
you laughed a little through your tears, slumping your body against hers.
“i don’t— i don’t know what to do.” you whispered, sniffling.
“break up with him.” she gently emphasized. “please y/n... it’s a never ending cycle until you leave.”
she pulled back and gave you a sad smile, moving to wipe your cheeks with her fingers.
“trust me i've been in this kind of situation before and it fucking sucks.” she continued. “i get you. i get why you stay, but i promise you that you’re currently missing out on a great sweet guy who absolutely loves you and would do anything for you. don't let shitty stinky reno hold you back from that.”
didn't reno absolutely love you? wasn't... he the one who was a great sweet guy and did anything for you?
you didn’t even know anymore.
you silently nodded, sniffing and wiping the rest of your tears away, pulling back completely and sending her a small smile of your own.
“thank you my love.” you whispered. “for being here for me.”
“always!” she beamed. “you know that... and you also know that you need to do what's best for you, right?”
you nodded with a purse to your lips.
you did know it... so why were you still hesitating?
the cheerleader stood with you for another great while until you were seemingly okay, you eternally grateful to have such a kind friend like her through all of it— quickly giving her a suffocating hug goodbye once she was called back by her cheerleader girls and left you alone in the tunnel.
you didn’t know how much longer you stood there for until you decided to head on to the locker room, wanting to freshen up a little at yuta’s cubby and get a fast sip of water before going back out on the field, praying to god that your makeup wasn’t too fucked up.
and at the fleeting reminder of yuta you eased a little, an unknowing teeny quirk playing at your lips as you walked through the locker room doors, eager to find him out on the field and just be in his company—
“hi.”
you stopped in your tracks.
yuta was standing there by his cubby, holding the cutest miniature bouquet of lilies in his hands, his face flushed pink and a wobbly smile that made a breath hitch in your throat.
“not to be weird or anything! but... i— i overheard your conversation earlier in the tunnel...” he chewed on his bottom lip. “i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get in your business like that—”
he stopped himself and sighed, shaking his head as he looked directly at you.
“he shouldn’t forget y/n...”
a new wave of tears bubbled up and spilled, yuta’s shoulders dropping at the sight as he hurriedly made his way over to your crying self.
“no! sorry sorry i— please i—”
as soon as he got to you, you took the lovely bouquet from him and threw your arms around his neck, burying your face in there and yuta’s brain going into a short circuit.
“thank you.” you sobbed, voice to a whisper as you clutched onto him, yuta’s heart melting and his arms quickly coming to wrap around you, holding you just as tight if not more.
“please don’t cry...” he murmured through your hiccups, running a comforting hand up and down your shaking back. “i really hate it when you cry—”
“how did— how did you know i love lilies?”
he paused, blinking a little and readjusting his arms to bring you in closer.
“at the market...” he spoke soflty. “you were— you were looking at them a lot.”
something was different with yuta. or you. you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
you nuzzled your face into his neck.
“he’s not good for you y/n.”
your brows slightly pinched, trying to calm your sniffles so you could hear what he was saying.
yuta never gave you his opinion on your relationship with reno.
“he’s awful to you.” he mumbled. “he cancels your dates or forgets them, he’s mean to you, he disrespects you, he makes you feel like everything is your fault when it isn’t at all—”
he pulled back a tiny bit and unwrapped an arm to gently wipe your tear-stained cheeks, his eyes sinking into yours and so serious that you couldn’t help but just stare up at him.
“he doesn’t like cats.”
you weakly giggled.
“he takes you for granted. he hurts you.”
both of his hands came around then to cup your warm cheeks— your doey wet eyes and pouty lips making words spill from his mouth that shouldn’t.
“i hate him...” his own cheeks buzzed pink and he diverted his gaze. “m’sorry but... i really fucking hate him.”
“because he’s mean to me?” you sniffled.
neither of you realized, but the space between your lips and his was getting alarmingly close— your subconscious minds gravitating towards each other, itching to be where they’re supposed to be after so long of teetering around in careful avoidance.
yuta dazedly nodded, half lidded eyes tracing over your pretty face.
“because he has something i want.”
your breaths fanned against your cheeks, and yuta could just about feel your lips grazing his, him carefully cradling your face and slowly parting his mouth to nearly slot in between yours, your peachy perfume swirling all over his insides—
when a sudden bang! sprang you both apart, your chests pumping fast as you stared at one another with panicked expressions.
“dude i almost ate shit earlier on the field.”
“idiot when?!”
“when nanami threw me the ball! i don’t think that guy’s real man he’s too huge—”
you tucked your hair behind your ear and looked down at the bouquet, the brown paper wrapping crinkling underneath your grasp as you studied it, the boastful chatter of yuta’s teammates slowly dissipating the farther they trudged down the hall, eventually morphing into mere muffles until they left you in silence.
“thank you for the flowers yu...” you spoke up after a few seconds, your tone soft and shy as your gaze timidly locked with his. “you’re the sweetest...”
he stiffly nodded, willing and begging his heart and mind to shut up about the moment he almost had with you or else he was going to scream.
“s— sure!” he smiled weakly. “any time.”
was this offense from reno finally enough to get you to break up with him? to see that he was a piece of shit and didn’t deserve you in the slightest?
because at this point it was not about you and yuta and how he felt for you, it was literally just for you, for your wellbeing and happiness, for the chance for you to thrive and be happier— freed from the chains of a man who knew how to do nothing but beat a kind girl down and blame her for his mistakes.
blame you. a woman who was entirely worthwhile and deserving of so much.
“you should probably go back out—”
yuta held his hand out for you and you stopped.
nothing mattered in that moment. nothing at all but yuta and the hand that awaited you, nothing at all but the feeling of his slightly roughened calloused skin as you took it, allowing him to bring you in closer so you stood almost chest to chest, your heart starting to race again.
and you were confused.
“leave him.” he whispered, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. “please. for you... you should have way more than this.”
should... you?
“you think so?” you murmured back, and he nodded, his thumb gently grazing over your knuckles.
“i know so.”
yuta hadn’t felt this much hope in a long time.
actually— he didn’t think he’d ever. but with the way you silently agreed with him— a cute teeny smile slipping across your face, looking at him like— like he’d seen you look at your lilies... completely caught him off guard. and he would’ve explored it further if it wasn't for nanami popping his head in and calling out about a meeting the higher ups wanted to have with him.
what was supposed to be possibly the greatest night of yuta’s life, turned into the worst.
No fucking joke, I was offered 4 days of film-set marshalling and I told him I was unavailable for one of the days but I could cancel. And he told me he’d potentially found someone else.
I reblogged this.
And not 20 mins later, he came back to me and said if I really want it, let him know now. So fuck. Wow.
synopsis: You were tired of having random, unsatisfying hookups.. and so was your old med school friend, Shoko. After another drinking binge and a bad hookup, Shoko sets you up on a blind date. With nothing to lose and no other excuse, you accept.
a/n: tysm to @reignpage for the title and the inspo 🤍 you really do inspire me to keep writing, even if i don’t think my long writing is good. you’ve genuinely helped me get over my insecurity even if just a little. con muchisimas amor, kayla — 🤍
geto suguru is everyone’s first crush. having a crush on him is as hopeless as it is inevitable though your friends quickly disagree that the awe-struck, mouth gaping expression is a strictly you thing, and that he isn't as much of a campus celebrity as you believe he is. regardless, you're determined to put your inability to hold a conversation with him in the past. the solution is simple, you seek out his best friend. if geto suguru is everyone’s first crush (again, a completely objective statement), then gojo satoru is everyone’s first heartbreak.
pairing: frat&icehockey!gojo x reader
content: mdni, idiots in love, oblivious reader, baby’s first kiss + virginity taken by same person (satoru ><), suguru as the wingman, a little angst, mostly fluff + crack !! titjob, a little spitting, p in v, degrading, oral, fingering handjob etc etc 37k+
note: happy belated national arabian horse day! this was meant to come out on the 19th but life got in the way... regardless of the day hit up a friend and start beating a dead horse to celebrate!
Geto Suguru is everyone’s first crush.
Your friends insist you’re seeing him through some delusional rose-tinted lens and that he is, in fact, not as much of a campus celebrity as you believe him to be. You reject that notion. One look at him from across the room, other party goers be damned, is all it takes to confirm what you already know.
Geto laughs at something one of his friends says, tipping forward slightly as the alcohol softens his movements. You catch the tail ends of his laughter through the thumping bass, the glint of light reflected off his lip piercings when he smiles wide, his hand running through his untied black hair.
It would be as easy as walking up and saying hi to start a conversation. It would be as easy as smiling for him to turn his head and grace you with a smile of his own.
Oh, what you would give to be bathed in his gaze, for that pretty smile to widen at the sight of you. He’d spot you through the crowd, you’d tuck your hair shyly behind your ear and he’d politely excuse himself from his conversation to walk over to introduce himself to this mysterious beauty from across the room.
Shoko makes a noise like she’s strangling herself but when you turn to save her, she’s staring at your face. “Do you have any idea what you look like right now?”
“What’s wrong? Did I smudge my liner?”
You pull out your phone to check your makeup using the reflection but between the flashing lights and someone’s elbow jutting from your peripheral, you’re only eighty percent sure you don’t look a mess.
Considering you dragged your roommate out to this party last minute, Shoko sips her drink with commendable patience. “Even if you did, that would be the least of your worries. Look, you really don’t have to overthink this. We didn’t just spend all night planning this for you to end up weirding him out with that look in your eye.”
“Shit, that was the rehearsed deer look I was talking about!
“Rehearsed how?
You decisively ignore her. “I just want to do this right.
Her eyes soften slightly. She’s always been weak to your woes. “You will. He’ll love you. If you don’t believe in yourself, believe in me. I promise you I’ve known this guy for years and you’re exactly the type of person he just eats up.”
You think of all your attempts to enter Geto’s world. There's just something mystifying about him, some kind of aura he emits that has you tripping over your tongue and freezing at the worst moments. Your words become stilted, your humour and wit abandoned at every crucial moment, causing you to simultaneously dread talking to him as much as you wished for it.
Shoko turns you to face her, eyes steady in a way yours isn’t. “Are you ready?
You let out a slow breath and attempt to mimic her determination with a single nod.
“Then go find him.”
When you hesitate to even take a single step forward, Shoko gives you a push and then you’re off, legs moving without another thought. The crowd swallows you, bodies brushing past and jolting your shoulders, knocking you here and there. But none of that matters. Not when your heart is already set. Not when determination is the one thing keeping you upright, guiding you closer and closer to the boy who somehow makes a packed, sweaty houseparty fade into background noise
For too long, you’ve let this intoxicating feeling linger, letting it settle deep in your chest, almost convincing yourself that watching from the sidelines was enough. As if anything short of his eyes on you, perhaps even his lips on yours, could quiet the restless longing twisting in your heart. Limerence is what Shoko diagnoses you with, but the word feels too small for the intensity that surges through you every time his name crosses your mind.
Geto appears like a beacon before you, the crowds having finally parted enough for you to catch a good look. The party music transitions to an angelic choir but admitting that is basically affirming Shoko’s concerns that your infatuation is unhealthy, so you quickly refocus. Your heart clenches, pounds against your ribcage, and you only hope the dim lighting will hide the warmth spreading across your cheeks. He’s right there, right within reach. All you have to do is say his name.
All you have to do is make him see you.
You take a step forward, mumble an apology to the girl you bumped shoulders with, take another step towards where he’s laughing with a friend—then veer sharply to the right and slip into the kitchen.
If talking to Geto were really as easy as saying hi, you would have done it months ago.
The kitchen is quieter, the bass reduced to a distant, muffled thump and you can finally breathe as the crowd thins. There’s still chatter though significantly more bearable and your eyes fall onto the small cluster of boys within, standing in the near dark.
Your feet instinctively slow but Shoko’s voice in your head tells you that you’ve done too much to stop now and with a deep breath, you step beyond the threshold.
One by one, the group takes notice of you, their rambunctious laughter quietening into soft chuckles as heads pop up to look. It’s not strange for someone to enter the kitchen at a party so the most you get is a head nod in greeting before they return to their conversation.
You reach for a red cup and then for a jug of some mysterious jungle juice.
Unfortunately, the jug sits behind one of the boys. Even worse, it sits behind who you’re really here at the party looking for.
Leaning lazily against the counter and nursing a red solo cup of something strong no doubt, stands Gojo, Geto’s best friend.
If Geto Suguru is everyone’s first crush (again, a completely objective statement), then Gojo Satoru is everyone’s first heartbreak.
You can feel the burn of Gojo’s stare as you get close enough to lift the jug and pour, hands trembling slightly. Before you can help yourself, you steal glances from the side of your eye, landing squarely on his shirt specifically at the crude letting that reads ‘Two Seater’, arrows pointing abashedly toward both his crotch and his face.
You look back up immediately. You don’t want to know.
The punch sloshes into your cup, some of it missing due to your shaky hands and you don’t notice until a sticky trickle runs over your fingers. You hastily stop pouring and lick at the mess.
Before you can figure out how to announce your presence, there’s a rush of footsteps and another frat boy appears. Hikari, you think his name was, stands by the kitchen entrance, hair slightly disheveled from his usual style, loud and demanding as he’s always been.
“Hey!” He calls, scanning the room. “You guys need to come see this.
A chorus of half-drunk “what?” and “see what?” answers him like a herd of seagulls.
“In the living room,” he says. “There's two people on the floor and—” He stops, glancing over his shoulder like the situation might escape him if he looks away for too long. “Just hurry up!
His vague words cause curiousity to spread faster than wildfire. The group of boys begin funnelling out of the kitchen, cups still in hand, voices rising with excitement.
“What is it?
“Is it a fight?
“Please tell me it’s a fight.”
“Did someone break something?”
Hikari doesn’t elaborate, instead turning and leaving the kitchen, confident the herd will follow. One friend, Choso if you remember correctly, looks back at Gojo who remains calmly drinking from his cup, still leaning against the counter beside you
“Aren’t you coming, Satoru?”
Gojo shrugs, tipping back the last of his drink. “Nah. You go on ahead.”
Choso hesitates like he wants to ask why, then seems to think better of it.
“Suit yourself,” he mutters, already backing toward the door as someone behind him shoves past with a whoop.
Within seconds, the kitchen drains of bodies.
You’re deathly aware of the warm presence beside you. You inhale deeply and turn, ready to get this over and done with only to find him shamelessly looking at you.
For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other, his expression unreadable as he looks you over before his face splits into a lazy grin. “Hey.”
“Hi,” you squeak, immediately reprimanding yourself at the awkward sound.
His smile only grows. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Are you looking for someone? Or maybe you missed the exit? It’s down the hall to your right.”
“That’s rude.” You cross your arms in an attempt to place distance between the two of you and to maintain a confidence you don’t feel. “I attend parties.”
Gojo huffs and you feel slightly offended. He straightens and steps closer, close enough that his cologne hits you—sharp, expensive, and entirely too much. “I don’t know about that. I’ve never seen you at one of these before.” His head tilts, regarding you. “How do you even know Sukuna?
For a moment you blank, wondering why he was asking about Sukuna. It hits you then that this party must be his. “Ah. I came with Shoko.”
He hums. “That makes sense. Shoko always did have a habit of collecting strays.
“Excuse me?”
“Not a stray,” he amends lightly at your glare. “More like her lost puppy.”“Just because you’ve only ever seen me when I’m with Shoko doesn’t mean I’m always with Shoko.”
“I was talking more about how you were holding onto her shirt in the crowds earlier. She didn’t bring a leash for you?
“Don’t project your weird kinks onto me.
“Do you often spend time thinking about what weird kinks I might be into?” Thankfully, Gojo lets the topic go before you really do decide to throw it all away and walk out. “But alright, let’s say I believe you and you’re just here for the party. Why are you here in the kitchen, then?”
“What else do people come to parties for? I’m here to drink. And stuff.” You trail off, clearing your throat.
“Really?” He eyes your untouched cup. “Because that’s just juice. The good stuff’s over here.
He steps into your personal space to reach over you to grab a bottle from the top of the fridge and you’re face to face with the gross words on his top. He retracts his arm, bottle in hand, but doesn’t step back. “Want me to pour you one?”
You think back to the last time you let yourself drink under the unwise judgement of Shoko, and how you can only recall glimpses of light and the vague memory of a toilet bowl “It’s fine, I’ve already had a lot to drink.
“Right,” he says, in a tone that makes it clear he doesn’t believe you for a second.
You watch as Gojo pours himself another drink, sipping leisurely, pointedly ignoring the way you’re staring.
Gojo isn’t exactly a stranger, but it’s an overestimation to call him your friend. In truth, he’s Shoko's friend—which means she occasionally drags him back to your shared dorm before disappearing to do whatever it is best friends do. You catch glimpses of him in passing, fleeting and inconsequential, never quite crossing into ‘introduce-yourself’ territory. Why would he? He’s the kind of guy who turns heads without trying, long-limbed, effortlessly confident, wearing the grin of someone who’s never been told no in his life.
Where Geto is soft-spoken and warm, guiding you through conversation with patient smiles and gentle ease, Gojo is loud and vibrant and reckless. There's a challenge in his eyes, a knowing smirk on his lips, like the world is perpetually entertaining and he’s always in on the joke.
You, on the other hand, are about as normal as it gets.
When the silence draws into something a little less casual and far more awkward, you clear your throat. “I’m Y/N by the way.
“I know who you are.”
“You do?”
“Shoko’s roommate, right? We’ve seen each other before. She’s mentioned you too.” He offers a hand, eyes holding yours like he knows you’ll pull away with anything less. “I’m Gojo. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
You go to echo his words, that of course you knew he was the Gojo Satoru but hesitate, settling instead for shaking his hand. His grip is warm and solid, carrying none of the jitteriness you feel. Hell, maybe you should have accepted a drink after all. What is this, a job interview? Why are you shaking his hand?
When you let go, you become painfully aware of how damp your palms are and curse yourself silently.
Gojo picks up on the silence and moves to lean against the counter, mimicking your earlier pose such that his arms are crossed over his chest, only emphasising his biceps in his sleeveless top. “So, Y/N. If you didn’t come in here for a drink, why are you here?”
His words cause you to still. This was it. Every moment in your dorm, huddled around the whiteboard usually reserved for studying, now littered with far less academic plans, Shoko chiming in her own thinkpieces occasionally. It all accumulated to this moment.
“I was looking for you actually. I wanted to talk to you.” Your voice is barely a whisper and humiliation slowly sinks in when he doesn’t answer immediately. Perhaps he didn’t hear you considering you’re speaking to your shoes.
When you finally look up, there’s an unreadable expression on his face. Gojo slowly tracks his eyes up and down your figure. Finally, he straightens, head tilted slightly. “Talk to me? Alone?"
You nod, and his face breaks into a broad grin.
“I wasn’t expecting that. Not that I hate it,” he purrs, voice dropping into something smoother as he steps closer and curls a loose lock of your hair around his finger. “What did you want to talk about, princess?"
Your mind vaguely registers the gesture, feeling the dampness of your palms once again. “I don’t really want to say here."
His fingers still, your hair wrapped around it. “Oh?"
You wonder what that look in his eyes meant. “Could we go upstairs?”
Gojo cocks his head, smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. His brows knit slightly, but his eyes gleam with amusement as he releases your hair, the strand falling back into place in a soft wave. “You do know I’m Shoko’s friend, right? And you’re her best friend?”
“Why does that matter?”
“Seriously? You don’t think it’ll be awkward?”
Awkward? You blink, trying to make sense of his words. Perhaps Gojo and Shoko had argued recently. Maybe he didn’t want her catching sight of the two of you together else it put you in an awkward position. He’s more considerate than you expected.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with her,” you say carefully. “Whether you or I are friends with Shoko—it doesn’t matter to me. I just want to talk to you.” You smile in satisfaction, relaxing a little at his kindness.
Gojo suddenly laughs, brushing a hand through his hair as he throws his head back like you’ve said the funniest thing. When he looks back down at you, his eyes are shining. “That’s what I’m saying! But every time I joke about it to Shoko, she goes all crazy on me. Looks like we have a lot in common, huh? I guess that makes us compatible.”
You continue to smile, the corners of your lips wavering a little in uncertainty. You’re not entirely sure what he means by that but considering you’re about to ask him for a favour, you appreciate his good mood.
“Well, alright,” he says at last, taking your hand. “I’d love to hear you out. Lead the way.”
Ignoring the little flip of nerves your stomach does as you hold his hand (perhaps he felt too drunk to climb the stairs alone?), you turn and lead him back into the living room and up the stairs to the quieter rooms of the house. The hand holding serves another purpose, you realise, as you weave through the crowds of people and he would surely have lost you had you not held on tighter, practically dragging him onwards.
You feel a tug before your feet can even touch the second floor, like he’s suddenly become immovable. Before you can turn and check on him, you feel the warmth of his chest against your back, his hand slipping from yours to settle at your waist. You’re pulled to a stop, his breath now brushing against your ear, his hair tickling the side of your face. You’re certain he’s leaning over you despite being a step lower, and the faint scent of alcohol and sandalwood fills your senses.
“I didn’t think you’d be so proactive,” he murmurs. You think he might have inhaled, slow and deliberate, but it’s hard to tell over the base vibrating through the floorboards and the frantic pounding of your heart. “What else are you hiding from me, hm?”
He reaches for your hand and turns you slightly so you can watch as he licks your fingers, tasting the sticky residue of your spilt juice. His blue eyes seem to sparkle, mesmerising in a way that makes you freeze. “You taste sweet.”
Your breath hitches and he must have heard because the hand on your waist tightens and pulls you against him, head leaning down to gently nip at your neck. Your stomach does that little flip again, this time accompanied with a hot flush that short-circuits your brain.
“Wait!” He chuckles softly, lips ghosting over a soft spot that makes your knees tremble a little. “Don’t be nervous. You have me right where you want me.”
You freeze, heart hammering, fingers twitching. When his hand slips just barely beneath the hem of your top, the words tumble out of you in a rush.
“I like Geto!”
For a heartbeat, everything goes still, his hand, his lips, his breath. Gojo pauses, lips pulling back from your sweaty neck. In fact, his entire body jerks back, both feet returning to the step beneath you, hand leaving your waist to turn you to face him. His fingers find your chin to tilt your face down, eyes dark as they hold yours.
“What did you just say?”
You swallow, looking him in the eye. “I like Geto.”
He stares at you wordlessly for a few more moments before he frowns, letting go of you completely and stepping down one more step just for good measure. “What the fuck are you doing here with me then?"
You gesture frantically between yourselves, finding the answer quite simple. “To talk? That’s what I said earlier, didn’t I? I wasn’t—I wasn’t insinuating… I wasn’t trying to—you know?”
“You said you wanted to come with me upstairs.”
“Yeah?”
“Alone.”
“Right.”
His frown only deepens at your easy response. “You know how that sounds, right? To get a guy alone upstairs at a party?”
“It sounds like I wanted to talk to you privately?” You try again at his disbelieving expression. “The music was super loud. I didn’t think you’d be able to hear me downstairs and I had to ask you something important so I didn’t want to risk it.”
He lets out a huff, something short and breathy, lips quirked upwards like he finds something amusing, even as his eyes stay locked on you, unmoving. “You’re kidding me, right?”
You hold out your hands as if to say, ‘What can you do?’.
Gojo groans, dragging a hand down his face. “Figures this was too good to be true.” His hand drops from his eyes to cover his mouth as he continues to stare at you. “Nothing about that situation implied you just wanted to talk. And about Suguru, of all things? Seriously, he’s being a cockblock and he isn’t even here.”
“What was that?”
“Forget it.” He drops his hand. “I’m leaving.”
You quickly hold onto his arm before he can completely turn. “Wait!”
Maybe it’s the desperation in your voice, maybe it’s your iron-clad grip on his bicep but he doesn’t attempt to pull away. Instead, he looks back and wrinkles his nose at you, a strangely childish gesture.
“I’m not in the mood to just talk. Not anymore.”
“Come on, please? There’s no one else I can ask!”
“I don’t see how that’s my problem.”
“If you could just please, out of the kindness of your heart, hear me out I would seriously appreciate it!”
He doesn’t budge.
“I won’t tell anyone I rejected you!”
He frowns. “First of all, you didn’t reject me because it was a misunderstanding. Second of all, are you really in a position to blackmail me right now?”
“I won’t tell Shoko you were the reason her favourite candle knocked over and singed a bit of her rug.”
His frown only deepens. Blackmail, you think, is surprisingly effective. “Hold on, how do you even know that?”
“What do you mean? I was literally right there.”
Gojo lets out a deep, long groan. He wriggles out of your hold, sending you a glare. “You know, you really suck at asking for help.”
“You don’t have to agree to helping me just yet. Just at least give me a chance to explain. We’re already here, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, well, I had other plans when we got up here that didn't involve just talking.”
You remind yourself to be patient. Again, you were the one asking for a favour, he’s the only one that can help you with your dilemma, you need him. Don’t call him a disgusting freak and walk away.
Clapping your hands together, you muster your best pleading look and send it his way. “Please, Gojo.”
You’re not really sure what broke through his defenses. For your own ego, you decide it must be because of your puppy dog eyes because he lets out a sigh and gives a reluctant nod.
“Go to the room to the right of the stairs.”
You bite back the instinct to cheer. Halfway through turning around, you look over your shoulder. “You’re coming too, right?”
“Just get up there before I change my mind.”
Wondering if souring his mood like this would backfire on you, you quickly hop up the remaining steps and head to the mentioned room just in case he really does change his mind. It would be beneficial to appease him before you ask for a crazy favour, after all. Therefore, you don’t even try to eavesdrop as Gojo continues to mumble to himself as he follows behind, worrying that somehow he might hear and turn around.
When you both reach the room, he closes the door and leans against it, arms crossed over his chest and expression flat in a way that feels very un-Gojo. You’re suddenly struck by the unfairness of it, of how someone with such a careless, teasing exterior can also appear so unreadable when he wants to.
“Five minutes.”
You clear the irrelevant thoughts from your head. “Excuse me?”
“You have five minutes before I’m going back down.”
You take a deep breath. This is it, no backing out now. “Okay. I need your help.”
He huffs, unamused. “So you’ve said. But with what exactly? Calculus? Because spoiler, I’ve been drinking.”
“With Geto.”
You watch in real time as the connection in his brain is made. He straightens off the door slightly. “Wait. Suguru? You want help with Suguru? What kind of help? Love help? You want love help with Suguru?”
Every word from his mouth is like a bullet to your dignity. Through gritted teeth, you hiss, “Yes. Can you be any louder?”
“I can try,” He says with a hint of humour. The smirk returns to his face and a feeling of foreboding looms over you. “This is what you wanted to get me alone to say?”
“Look, I needed someone who’s close with him and you’re–”
“Close? Please, I’m his best friend. I’m practically his wife.”
“Oh. So that makes us competition?”
He wrinkles his nose and looks you up and down. “You want me to help you get him.”
You nod.
“You want to confess to him.”
“Obviously.”
“Date him?”
“That’s the goal."
“Sleep with him?”
You give him a look so incredulous that he laughs, short and amused. “If you want advice just hit up reddit. If you want him to like you back then an etsy witch has you covered for five dollars. I don’t see why you have to bother me.”
“Because,” You say slowly. “He’s surrounded by people. He doesn’t even know me. I need all of that, the advice, the reciprocation, and I need someone who can get me close enough to him where he can notice me. And I feel like getting an etsy witch to manipulate his dreams to include me would cost more than five dollars. And I’m broke. And I’m kind of bad with guys.”
“So, what? You want me to introduce you to him?”
“Sure. And maybe tell me what he likes?"
Gojo looks you up and down again. He leans back against the door but this time, there’s something smug and arrogant about his posture, eyes lazy as he takes up as much space as he can. “You’re not even his type.”
“That’s fine, I’m flexible.”
“That’s something you say at a job interview, not when you’re trying to get a boyfriend.”
“Just shows that I have an adaptable personality.”
“He just came out of a 2 year relationship,” He shoots back.
“I accept and embrace his past.”
“He has a habit of leaving his jackets on the arm rest of couches.”
“I have hands, I can put them away.”
“Where’s your self-respect?”
“With him. I’ll get it back after I get with him.”
Gojo huffs. “He doesn’t even know you.”
“That’s why I’m asking you for help.”
“You know, I think I liked you better when you were just a shy little thing stumbling over your words.”
Again, you can only shrug.
When he only frowns, you decide to use your hidden ace. Before he can open his mouth and surely reject you, you beat him to it, voice overlapping his.
“I’ll tutor you!”
His eyes narrow and when he doesn’t say anything else, you push on.
“I know you’re aiming for that sports scholarship to study abroad next year.”
“How do you even know about that?” He catches on quick with a groan. “Shoko.”
You nod. “And I know that you’re looking for someone to tutor you because you need to get good grades to get accepted. If you help me with this, I promise I can definitely bring your grades up. We both benefit!”
Gojo stares at you like you’ve just grown a second head and you think you’ve lost him when his lips twitch. Then, almost traitorously, one corner lifts higher.
“You,” he says slowly, pointing at you like he’s identifying a rare species, “Are trying to bribe me. You’re trying to bribe me because you can’t get game by yourself.”
“It's not a bribe,” you say stiffly. “I'm just saying there’s something in it for the both of us.”
“It’s a bribe,” he repeats, delighted now. “Holy shit, Shoko's roommate is bribing me. How desperate can you get?”
“I’m offering to give you academic support!”
“With strings attached.”
“Yes,” you sigh. "That's usually how deals work.”
He grins, wide and boyish and every bit infuriating as you’ve ever known him. “You think I can't get a tutor without helping you bag my best friend?”
“Well, you haven’t yet.”
“That's because I don't need one.”
“Right. So I should just forget all the times Shoko has ranted to me about how you keep asking her for help?”
“You know, this conversation has really enlightened me on who my real friends are.” His gaze slides back to you, assessing. “And you’re confident you can help me?”
You straighten your shoulders and give a solemn nod. “I’ve fixed worse than you.”
He studies you, eyes tracking your features down to your shoes and you fight the urge to squirm self consciously. He seems to be recalibrating you, seeing you not as Shoko’s tagalong but as an actual person making a very earnest, albeit very ridiculous, request.
Finally, he sighs, long and dramatic.
“Well, at least you have one thing going for you. Suguru eats this kind of stuff up, hardworking, stubborn, a little pathetic—”
“Hey.”
“—in a cute pet way,” he amends smoothly. “Relax.”
You glare at him anyway but the rational part of your brain reminds you that you need this. He grins back, entirely unrepentant.
“Fine,” he continues, raising a finger, “If I do this, we’re doing it my way. That means we need rules.”
You fight the urge to jump up and down in joy. “I was going to suggest that anyway! How about this, we—”
“Rule one,” he says, face settling into something serious. “You can’t fall in love with me.”
Unable to help yourself, you burst out laughing. “Trust me, that’s not going to be an issue. You're definitely not my type.”
At your laugh he smiles though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Rule two, no complaining. Keep that mouth in check, sweets.”
You giggle. “What's wrong, fragile ego?”
He raises an eyebrow and you mumble irritated curses under your breath. “Sorry.”
“Rule three, if Suguru ends up falling head over heels for you, you owe me big.”
“How big?”
His eyes flick down to your mouth again, then back up, smirk slow and dangerous. “I’ll decide later.”
You catch the movement and swallow, feeling none of the humour from earlier. “Okay, deal. Then, rule four, you take your studying seriously. I don't tutor people who don’t care.”
“I think between the two of us, I want to succeed the most so that’s a given. Any more rules, sweets?”
When you shake your head, he nods. “Then, we’ll start tomorrow.”
“Not today? I mean he’s literally right here,” You quickly clarify. “Not a complaint, just a question!”
“I came here to get drunk and have a good time. I’m going to need at least three drinks to get me back there so be a good girl and wait. I’ll text you tomorrow if you really can’t be patient. Unless, you want to back out already?”
You straighten your shoulders, trying to match his confidence. “I’m not backing out! I just want to make sure you’re not going to ditch me. This isn’t really a normal request.”
“Oh, so you know?”
You roll your eyes at him but have the decency to at least look bashful.
“Tomorrow,” he repeats then jerks his chin toward the door. “Go on, sweets. Before I sober up and regain some self-respect.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“A complaint?”
You bite your lip. “A suggestion.”
“Here’s a real suggestion,” he starts, turning around to open the door. Standing in the doorframe, he gives you one last look. “Next time you ask a guy to go upstairs with you at a party, maybe start with the part about not wanting to make out.”
Your face gets hot instantly, mouth opening to splutter, “I didn’t mean anything by it!”
But he doesn’t stay to hear the end of it, rejoining the masses downstairs without another word. He lifts his hand once as a goodbye and then he’s gone, leaving you alone in the room, half mortified, half exhilarated. Unwilling to give him any sense of victory with his last words, you head back downstairs and find Shoko to tell her the results of the first step of your plan.
It’s a struggle pushing through the thick waves of people but you finally find your roommate off to the side, musing herself in a conversation with someone you don’t recognise.
Instinctively, your eyes search for Geto if only to recall what you’re doing this for. Standing beside him, arm swung over his shoulder is Gojo, already sipping from a cup and laughing into the conversation with a natural ease that reminds you of the gap between who you were and who he is. As if sensing your gaze, he looks over and you flinch as if burnt. Something stirs in your gut and you wonder if your little plan to get with Geto has taken a slightly unpredictable turn.
“You okay?” Shoko asks, noticing your fluster.
You nod, looking away quickly. “Of course. All going to plan, you know?”
“Then I guess you’re up to step two.”
“Right,” Your eyes drift back to Gojo and find him looking at you over the rim of his cup. The feeling in your stomach lurches. “Step two.”
Step two begins with Gojo texting you at the ass crack of dawn. You blink the sleep from your eyes, squinting at the bright light of your screen in mild disbelief and annoyance as he tells you to pull up to his 9am lecture. Despite the lingering feeling that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, you understand that this is necessary.
You know for a fact that you have no classes today and therefore no reason to make the trek to university. a whole day,just gone and tasked with the impossible task of putting up with that infuriating player.
No, you reprimand yourself as you text back your agreement. No complaining. Do it for him, do it for Geto. With those words repeating in your head like a mantra, you pull yourself together and out of bed to get to campus.
It would be helpful, after all, to see where his studies were at if you were going to take this tutoring business seriously.
You get a coffee at the station to combat your sleepiness and the chill of a winter morning before hesitating and getting another. With two coffees, one in each hand, you wait outside his lecture room until the doors swing open.
Spotting him wouldn’t be too hard, you muse, considering Gojo is impossible to miss.
And then, you see him.
His unmistakable frame, hair a messy white halo catching the late morning sun, strides into view. He's mid conversation as he steps out, animated, half-grinning, and you find yourself understanding why so many girls lose their minds over him.
“Gojo!” You call out, voice slightly drowned out by the chatter all around.
You’re about to give him a piece of your mind, him having been the reason why you kept to your phone all of last night like a wife anticipating the return of her war husband, when you freeze. Because when Gojo turns, your mind barely registering the amused look he gives you, the person he was talking to comes into view.
Because of course, where there’s Gojo there is Geto, the yin to his yang.
You weren’t ready for both of them.
Noticing your sudden stiffness, Gojo looks beside him and scoffs. Unimpressed, he starts walking over. You panic, attempting to smooth out your clothes and fix up your appearance though your hands are full of coffee so you end up doing an awkward wiggle.
“Look at you,” Gojo starts when he’s close enough. “Loitering outside my class like a fan. Maybe this is more urgent than I thought, not because you like Suguru but because you really need your self-respect back.”
You open your mouth to respond, to clarify, to deny, to just say something, but Geto catches up beside him and suddenly every possible word tangles up in your throat.
“Oh. Hey,” Geto says, recognition flickering across his face. “You’re Y/N, right?”
You blink, knees feeling weak and mind in shambles that he even knew your name let alone match it to your face. “Uh, yeah! That’s me!”
He smiles, soft and easy, all the charm you’ve seen him use on others now directed to you. “I thought so. You’re in one of Shoko’s tutorials, no? I think I remember her mentioning you.”
“I’m her roommate, actually.” You try for a smile and pray it doesn’t give off the extent of your adoration towards him.
“Right, that would be it. I’m Geto.”
You nod mutely, wishing your brain would reboot to say something, anything that doesn’t make you sound like you’ve never spoken to a human before. Geto, he says, like you didn’t already know his name, like he wasn’t one of the most known people on campus. Still, the fact that he so humbly introduced himself only proves his humility and your heart gives a quiver.
This moment was everything you’ve ever fantasied. His eyes on you, giving you that pretty smile you’ve only seen directed at others. You could have stood there and basked in his attention until the end of time if Gojo didn’t suddenly clap Geto’s shoulder and butt in.
“Great, so glad you’re both acquainted,” he says, ignoring your glare and throwing an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his side. “But as much as I’d love to keep standing here and soak in this riveting small talk, I think my very dedicated super fan here needs me for something.”
You shoot him a look. “I am not your super fan.”
“No? And is that not my coffee?”
You look down at your hands as if only remembering now what you were holding. Biting back a remark, you thrust out a coffee. “It is.”
He grins, taking it and letting his fingers brush against yours. “Thought so.”
Geto looks between the two of you. “Oh, I see how it is."
Your eyes fling back to him at the same time Gojo exclaims, “What?”
“Woah, did I touch a nerve there or something?” Geto’s smile quickly turns smug. He returns Gojo’s earlier gesture and thumps him hard on the back twice. “I get it. I’ll get out of your hair then. Be gentle with him, Y/N. He’s actually a pretty sensitive guy.”
It takes you a while to process his words so Gojo reacts first.
“Dude, I’m telling you it’s not like that.”
“Sure,” Geto says in a tone that very much suggests he isn’t convinced at all. “Guess I’ll see you around, yeah? Later, Satoru.”
You only realise seconds after he leaves that you hadn’t said goodbye. In fact, after Gojo’s interruption, you hadn’t managed to say anything more to Geto.
“Huh,” Gojo muses, breaking the silence. “You get like that around him?”
You groan and find the lump in your throat gone. “I stood there like an idiot!”
“You did.”
“He probably thinks I’m a freak!”
“Probably.”
“And you!” You look up to glare at him. “You didn’t have to make it sound so weird!”
“So now it’s suddenly my fault?”
“You caught me off guard by calling me your super fan!”
“Right, like that was the weirdest part of the conversation,” he shoots back, lips curled in dry amusement. “That, and not the super sour face you were making at him. Like a grimace.” He mimics your expression and you properly grimace this time, hoping against all odds that that was not the face you had been making at the person you were actually a super fan for.
Deciding you will only lose if you continue to defend yourself, you choose to change the subject. “You should have told me he’d be here.”
“You never asked. Besides, is it my fault if you didn’t prepare for that to happen?”
You sulkingly mumble a yes and he wags his finger at you, tutting disapprovingly.
“No complaining, remember? Come on, let’s go. We have things to talk about.”
You sigh though relent to fall into step beside him, fingers curling around your own coffee as the crowd thins around you. Now that Geto is gone, the world feels marginally more comfortable, less bright, less sharp, but also less mortifying.
You remember your stuttering self a few minutes ago.
Still a little mortifying but now bearable.
Gojo takes a long sip of his coffee, then glances sideways at you over the rim. “For future reference, I don't like coffee.”
You dig your elbow into his side and he winces but doesn’t remove his arm around your shoulder.
“Where are we going? I was thinking we could go to the library and look over your courses. That way I can pinpoint your weakness and where to target first. We only have a few months into graduation so we’re in a bit of a time crunch but I'm positive I can raise your grades from whatever they may be to… what?”
You trail off when you find Gojo looking down at you in disbelief. He shrugs when your eyes meet and shrugs, though the gesture is a little awkward with his arm over your shoulders.
“I just didn’t think you were serious about the whole tutoring thing.”
“I keep to my promises, Gojo,” you pause. “And I hope you will too.”
He reaches over with his free hand to ruffle your hair, ignoring your squeak. “Desperation isn’t a good look on you, sweets. Relax, relax, I'll get you two together. Trust me.”
You grumble but don’t voice your suspicions, instead letting him drag you in a certain direction. You perk up when you don’t immediately recognise your surroundings.
“Where are we going?”
“I get it, you want to check me out. I'm just taking us somewhere where that can happen.”
“Your studies, not you,” you clarify.
“Yeah, and my studies are mine so you’re checking me out.”
You grimace and he chuckles, turning you around a corner. “The library is too quiet so we’re going back to my place.”
You stop abruptly.
“Your place?”
“Yeah.”
“Your place?”
Gojo cocks his head as if listening to something in the distance. “Did you just hear that echo too?”
“Forgetting the fact that we should clearly just go to the library or somewhere on campus at least, I thought you lived in Sig Kap?”
“Right you are. Wow, I'm really starting to see why you’re the perfect choice as a tutor.”
“But you just said we’re going to your place.”
“Nothing gets past you.”
“Your place as in the Sig Kap house.”
“Look at you go.”
You stare at his side profile, waiting for a punchline that won’t come.
“Gojo.”
“Yeah?”
“I am not going to your frat house.”
“What happened to not complaining? That was the first rule and you’re already breaking it, sweets. I'm starting to dread this whole arrangement,” he continues to tease, looking ever so peaceful.
“I'm sorry, I don't know what you think I'm about but I wouldn't willingly walk into a den full of men named things like Chad. Do you even have furniture?”
“I only had a cot for the majority of first year but now I've upgraded to a mattress on the floor.”
“Great. Let's end this here.”
Gojo hooks his finger in your belt hoop before you can walk away. “First of all, we don’t have a Chad. We do have a Kyle though.”
“You're not doing yourself any favours.”
“Second,” he continues on, pulling you back towards him with his finger. “It’s ten in the morning. Half of them are in class and the other half are probably legally dead.”
You stand your ground. “Library.”
“Sig Kap.”
“Library.”
“Sig Kap.”
“Gojo.”
He leans in suddenly, close enough that you can see the faint crease at the corner of his eyes from squinting in the sun.
“You want Suguru, right?”
Your breath catches and despite yourself, you hear him out. “So? How is that relevant?”
“Because,” he says mildly like he’s talking to a little kid. “Sig Kap is where Suguru hangs out. He's my best friend, you know he’s my best friend that’s why you came to me. Why wouldn’t he be over at mine all the time? If you can’t handle coming over now how are you ever going to fuck him?”
“I am not—” you choke, voice pitching before forcefully lowering your voice when you notice people looking at you. “That is not— I haven't even—”
Gojo hums, watching you with a victorious grin. “So you don’t want to sleep with him?”
You make a startled noise and start walking in a random direction, eager to leave him behind. Life, however, is full of disappointments considering he follows, his arm draping over your shoulder once more.
“So where are we going?”
You give in. “Sig Kap.”
“Wrong way, sweets.”
You groan but follow as he steers you in the opposite direction.
Gojo chatters in your ear the entire walk to where the frat houses are situated on campus, about how his least favourite professor is out to get him, about someone in his frat who set off the fire alarm this morning, about the latest philosophical debate holding the frat hostage: whether cereal is a soup or not. It's a steady stream of nonsense, ridiculous but unbroken because at least he wasn’t talking to you so much as at you.
At some point, you stop responding entirely.
Somehow, his mere presence is enough to change your opinion and you actually feel relief when you finally see the house before you. Sig Kap stands broad and sunlit, paint only mildly chipped, windows open to let in the winter air. There's a couple bikes leaning against the porch railing and there’s an abandoned hoodie on the outdoor chairs.
“Oh thank god,” you mumble under your breath when he finally stops talking.
He lets you go to jog up the steps, opening the door to what you’re positive is about to be an overstimulating nightmare.
Warm air hits you first, carrying the scene of coffee and something oily. Sunlight stretches across worn hardboard floors until Gojo closes the door behind you and the hallway dims. A TV murmurs somewhere deeper into the house and there’s a loud conversation happening upstairs.
“You said everyone would be either in class or dead!” You hiss.
“It was an exaggeration,” he says lightly. "Don't worry, everyone’s harmless. But if you’re worried, you can just stick close to me.”
You ignore his cocky grin and shove him to get him walking. Unfortunately, getting to the stairs meant walking past the living room and you know things won’t be as harmless as he says when a voice calls out.
“Yo!”
Gojo pauses and steps back to poke his head into the living room. “Morning.”
You awkwardly step back to let him, pushing you into view too.
Two heads snap toward you at once. One of them is sprawled across the couch, blanket half-tangled around his legs and a bowl of popcorn balances on his stomach. The other is slouched in an armchair, controller in hand, eyes bloodshot and face pale as if he was still hungover. Considering the state of the party last night, you don’t doubt that he might be. Speaking of the party, you recognise the one on the left as Hikari.
“You’re bringing a girl back in broad daylight?” The controller guy says, no tact whatsoever.
Hikari snaps his fingers in recognition. “Hey, you’re the girl at the party.”
“Damn, back for more?”
Hikari shoves controller guy’s head down at the crude comment.
“She's here to save my GPA,” Gojo explains. “So keep it down, yeah?”
“That's what we should be saying to you,” controller guy smirks.
Unfortunately, Gojo smirks back. “You know they can’t help it. I'm just too good.”
He guides you back towards the stairs as the boys in the living room chuckle, and when you finally think of something to say you’re already standing in the middle of his room. By then, there’s another something to take up your mind and computing power.
Despite the relatively large floor plan, Gojo has decided to use none of it. True to his words, there’s a mattress lying on the floor against one wall, blanket a mess and a single pillow sitting flat at the top. A stack of old textbooks make up a bedside table where there’s a cute small lamp. On the other side sits a couch and a giant flat screen in front of it at a distance that would make optometrists frown.
Maybe that’s why Gojo is sometimes seen wearing sunglasses indoors. Maybe they’re prescription.
“This is what you bring girls back to?”
Gojo drops his bag on the floor and flops down onto the couch, patting the cushion beside him. “Come sit.”
You eye the seat in disdain.
“What's with the look?”
“Is that even sanitary?”
He snorts. “Worried you’ll get cooties or something? Relax, I rarely bring anyone back. Usually I go to the girls’ place for that kind of stuff. Fucking on a mattress is pretty harsh on the back, you know. You’re the first girl I've brought back in a while. Lucky you, right?”
You grimace but sit down gingerly. “Can you tell me what courses you’re doing?”
“What's the rush? Let's get to know each other better,” he says but he still reaches over to grab his laptop from his bag, opening it on his lap.
You can picture it so clearly, Gojo coming back from a long day of (skipping) classes to do his assignments and homework like this, slumped over his laptop on this surprisingly comfortable couch. The bare mattress on the floor might be a big contributing factor to his back pain, but you have no doubts that this routine wasn’t doing him any favours. “Here,” he places his laptop on your knees and leans back, pulling out his phone from his pocket. “You look.”
Considering his complete disregard of safety is not your issue, you don’t protest and quickly type in the college website. As if sensing this is not the right time, a prompt pops up to log in again.
“Password?” you ask, tilting the screen to him.
He barely looks up from his phone, one arm behind his head, the other typing away. “Sixeyes69 question mark exclamation mark.”
You pause and type it in. It goes through.
“What's the number?” He asks, disinterested.
You look on the screen. “67.”
He chuckles. “Nice.”
“Are you seriously okay with telling me your password like that?”
He shrugs, screenshotting the multi authenticator screen before hitting enter. The website in front of you loads and opens to his details.
“Tt’s not like there’s anything you can do with that. Are you planning to sneak in and do my assignments for me?”
Finding no fault in his words, you accept it and click through the tabs. Your brows quickly knit together as you read the contents.
“Gojo.”
“Mhm?”
“You’re missing three assignments in this class, you have a midterm for another in two weeks and you’re barely passing first year statistics.”
Gojo looks up at the ceiling in deep concentration before looking down with a smile. “Yeah, that sounds about right, why?”
“This is insane! I'm not a miracle worker!”
“Better find a lamp that grants wishes soon because your love life is on the line,” he points out. “That was the deal, you find a way to get me into that scholarship and I get you and my best friend together. It's not my fault you were weirdly confident and didn’t check to see where I was at before proposing that.”
Flabberghasted, you can only open and close your mouth like a fish. “Look, the midterm in two weeks, I can probably help with. The three assignments? You failing statistics?”
“Pretty sure I passed that last quiz. Maybe check again?”
“51 is just barely passing which is basically a fail.”
“Oh no, it seems like you can’t do this after all. Looks like the deal is over. Hey, by the way, since you’re already here, why don't we—” Gojo sits up and leans in, one hand on your thigh above his laptop.
“I demand another favour.”
He freezes. “You can’t just do that.”
“I can,” you square your shoulders and meet his eyes. “I did this statistics class during my first year so I still have my notes. I can easily alter them and give them to you and if you have any questions, we can meet up and I'll go through the questions with you. There's no way you can submit two of the three missed assessments as late but I can help you write the one that was due last week. There will be a mark reduction but I'll make sure it’s as good as can be. And, like I said, studying for the midterm is possible in two weeks.”
Gojo stares at you as if seeing you for the first time. When he finally moves, it’s only to remove his hand from your knee and slump back into his leather couch. “You’re insane.”
You wonder if he’s sulking.
“But,” you continue on. “If I help you with this then I can add to my condition. Besides, I made it too vague earlier and you’ve helped me see that. So thank you.”
He rolls his eyes. “Just tell me.”
You bite your lip. “Go on a practice date with me.”
He blinks at you, giving you that same incredulous look before bursting into a fit of laughter that does wonders for your ego.
“Hey.”
He keeps laughing, one hand resting on his chest.
“Hey!” You hit his arm and he finally cracks an eye open to look at you.
“You’re kidding,” he chuckles, struggling to catch his breath. “Gojo Satoru doesn’t do dates.”
“Don't refer to yourself in third person.” You smack his bicep one more time for good measure and because he’s weirdly solid under your touch. “It won’t actually be a date. I just need to know how dates work. I can't just go from zero to not-zero without practice!”
His laughter trails off though the smile remains on his face. He tilts his head to the side. “You’re at zero?”
You freeze, feeling like you’ve walked into a trap.
“Define zero.”
“Have you kissed anyone?”
You look away. “Define kissed.”
He laughs again, though mercifully shorter. “That's crazy. Next thing you know, you’re going to ask me to teach you how to—”
“Please!” You say quickly. “It won't be anything serious. I just need to know the mechanics, you know, how dates actually work. What you’re supposed to say, how you sit, when you pay, whether eye contact should be continuous or intermittent—”
“Jesus,” he mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face. “You’re actually a lost cause.”
“Well I've never done one before!” You clamp your mouth shut after, mortified at how loud you just got.
Gojo watches you for a long moment, the amusement still there though dimmed now by something closer to curiousity. Maybe even concern if you squint.
Silence stretches between you, warm sunlight pooling across the floor, distant house noise muffled beyond the door. He looks down at his laptop on your lap then back up to your face.
“...okay.”
Your heart stumbles and you inhale sharply. “Okay?”
“I’ll do it.”
“Really?” Relief overwhelms your system and your shoulders relax.
“Gojo Satoru doesn’t go back on his promises.” He straightens and places a hand over his heart, a mock solemn expression on his face. Before you can poke fun of his use of third person again, he continues. “Besides, I need to figure out where you stand. Let's go on a date tomorrow.”
“Eager much?”
He shrugs. “Rip the bandaid off. Besides, I have no other time this week, I have practice all of this week for the upcoming game.”
Though you were ready to disagree, you find yourself nodding. “Okay, tomorrow.”
“It's a date,” he says sweetly before clapping his hands together once loudly. “So, does that mean I'm off the hook for today? Steam is having this massive sale and I have money to spend.”
You snort. “What makes you think you’re free to go?”
“You got what you wanted,” he points out reasonably. “Practice date secured so mission accomplished, right? Seems like a natural stopping point and the Steam store is calling me.”
He reaches lazily toward the laptop. You smack his hand away without hesitation.
“Well hang up because you’re failing statistics and the submission box for that technical report is waiting for you. I'm afraid you’re going to have to reschedule.”
“You're kidding. I dragged you here and gave you nothing to prepare with, there’s no way you'll have anything to tutor me with.”
You stretch out your arms, fingers interlaced, and listen to the satisfying pop of your joints. “Watch me.”
Night has long since settled by the time you return to your dorm. Despite his perennial sulking throughout the entire tutoring session, lips jutted out when he isn’t whining, eyes drifting from the screen when you’re not giving him your full attention, he still offers to walk you back to the opposite side of the campus where the dorm houses are. Guiding him through the writing assignment was somewhat akin to extracting teeth from a little kid, but he’s surprisingly quiet when you’re talking and only chooses to complain when you’ve stopped.
And by the end of it, you’re proud to announce that he has 500 words on a once empty doc that was almost ready for submission.
Hey, you did mention before that you can’t create miracles.
Still, there’s something bright in his eyes when he reads through his own work, mumbling the words under his breath. So then, when you had reached down to pick up your tote bag and call it a day, he’s on his feet almost instantly, laptop snapping shut as he follows.“I’ll walk you,” he says, like it’s not even a suggestion.
The campus at night feels different, all those late nights in the library had taught you that. It’s quieter, softened at the edges and maybe it's placebo, maybe it isn’t, but the air feels fresher and time seems to slow. Streetlamps cast warm pools of light along the pathways, the winter air crisp enough to bite at your cheeks. Your breath fogs slightly as you walk, footsteps echoing in companionable rhythm.
For once, Gojo isn’t talking.
He makes the occasional comment, something about how dead campus feels after dark, how he hates early morning practices, how someone keeps taking his chocolate milk from the fridge, but for some reason you don’t find it so tolerable. Maybe it’s the way he’s saying it, slower and calm, nothing like before.
You steal a glance at him.
His hands are shoved into his jacket pockets, shoulders relaxed, expression softer than you’re used to seeing. Without the performative grin and constant chatter he looks less like the campus celebrity Everyone knows and more like he’s just some guy. Albeit, very attractive but you digress.
“You didn’t have to walk me,” you say into the silence that he hadn’t immediately rushed to fill after his last anecdote.
“I know.”
“Then why are you?”
He shrugs. “Just felt weird not to. Besides, it’s late out and your dorm is half a century away. I need you alive to fix my grades, remember?”
You give him a faint chuckle and look forward again.
A few more steps pass in silence, broken only by the shuffle of feet.
“Hey,” he says suddenly.
You look up, watching the light scatter over his side profile.
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For today.” He kicks at a pebble on the path, watching as it skitters ahead. “For not giving up on me after the first five minutes.”
You huff softly. “I said I'd help. And Y/N never goes back on her promises.”
He looks over at you and you both share a smile before his expression turns thoughtful. “Yeah, but people say stuff all the time.”
You study him. “Do they?”
He hums and doesn’t elaborate.
The dorm building comes into view ahead, lights glowing warmly through the windows. There's still a couple students drifting in and out, bundled in hoodies and coats and wearing slides, soft laughter spilling into the night.
You slow, suddenly aware that the walk is almost over. You turn to him so you can look at each other.
“You know, you’re not as hopeless as you think,” you say quietly. “I think you’ve just never pushed yourself to seriously try.”
He snorts. “Thanks, real inspirational.”
“I’m serious,” you protest but the corners of your lips quirk up.
He looks at you then, properly looks, eyes searching your face with a small frown. When he can’t find whatever he’s looking for, his brows relax.
“You really think I can pass?”
“Yes.”
Something in his shoulders loosens, tension easing away.
“Okay,” he breathes out. “Then, my grades are in your hands, teacher.”
You make a face. “I think I prefer sweets.”
He laughs and you turn to walk up to the entrance. The automatic doors remain stubbornly closed until you step into the sensor’s range, humming softly as they slide open. Warm air spills out, smelling faintly of old carpet and air freshener.
For some reason your feet slow.
“Hey, Y/N.”
You turn, looking at him as he stands just outside the warm lobby light, hands in his pocket, shoulders slightly hunched against the cold.
“Yeah?”
He hesitates.
“See you tomorrow."
You bite your lip and nod, repeating his words softly. Then, before you can do something stupid, you turn and walk into the building. The doors close with a soft thud, sealing you inside.
Through the glass, you watch him turn and head down the path, white hair catching the glow of the streetlights. And of course, he doesn’t look back.
Your reflection stares back at you instead, cheeks flushed from the cold, eyes a little too bright, heart still beating faster than it should.
Tomorrow, apparently, you’re going on a date, practice or not.
For some reason, Geto pops up in your mind and you tighten your hold on your tote bag, making your way up the stairs. The soft curve of his smile earlier this morning, the way he had said your name like it belonged in his mouth, or maybe that was just wistful thinking. But the warmth in his eyes that had nearly short-circuited your brain was most definitely real and you cling to the image.
Right, this is for him.
Your phone buzzes a little after you settle into bed that night, making you jolt. you roll onto your side and reach for your phone, pulling it free from your charger as you read through your notifications.
gojo: i made it back safe in case you were wondering ><
You get comfortable, tucking your doona under your chin as you type back, your phone the only light source in your dark room.
you: trust i wasn’t worried but thanks ig
gojo: who said anything about being worried?
also don’t flake on me tomorrow
i’m taking this mentorship very seriously so u better asw you: i won’t flake ik i’m already asking sm of u
gojo: oh u know do u?
so ure going to pay for our date tmrw?
you: it’s not a date
gojo: sure it isn’t
you: it’s just practice
gojo: i didn’t say it wasn’t
but if you admitted it was a real date i’d pay yk
you: please
like i’d actually want you to pay for my coffee
not a date, not real, don’t need u to pay for my drinks
gojo: ure a hard girl to please
you: if its from someone like you, its gonna be harder than just hard
try impossible
gojo: harder than hard?
you: ?
gojo: something feels wrong about that sentence for some reason
anyway
is the campus close for you or should we meet up in the city
you: the campus works for me
gojo: ure not just saying that to avoid the date allegations are you
you: no way
gojo: sure sweets i believe u
don’t wear anything boring
first impressions matter yk
you: oh my god stop pushing the date allegations
its just practice !!!!
gojo: okay and you can practice dressing up for me
for suguru
like for practice
you: ?
i know what u meant
but sure
as long as u do too theres no way im embarrassing myself by showing up overdressed if u show up in sweats and a hoodie
gojo: wouldn’t dream of it
see u saturday sweets
You stare at the nickname longer than you should.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard for a moment before moving.
you: goodnight gojo
The reply bubble appears then disappears before appearing again. Nothing comes of it as it disappears one more time and stays gone.
You swipe off the app and place your phone back on your bedside table, ignoring the pleasant buzz running through you.
You show up early like a super fan.
You’ve been sitting at the little corner table situated at the back of your favourite campus cafe for the past ten minutes now, stirring your drink just to look busy. The cafe hums around you with soft chatter, clinking spoons against teacups and ceramic against ceramic, a mellow playlist faintly playing in the background, but your nerves drown most of it out.
You’ve already gone through three mental checklists as you sit there, waiting. Your fingers curl around your empty cup, feeling the beads of water drip down your fingers and you really hope you won’t need to make an awkward break for the bathroom anytime soon considering he should be here about now.
You tell yourself you’re not nervous but you catch yourself glancing at the door every other second, heart jumping each time it swings open.
The bell chimes again and you look up with a start, eyes immediately locking onto Gojo as he saunters in, lifting his sunglasses so they rest on his head. He’s dressed casually, a white and blue jersey over a pair of blue baggy jeans, but his good looks mold the outfit into something appropriate for a date.
Gojo spots you at his first look around and grins, sliding into the seat across.
“Morning,” he greets, a wide smile on his face. His eyes flicker down once at your empty cup. “Did you wait long?”
“No, not at all!” You remember who you’re talking to and relax a little. “Actually, I got here fifteen minutes early. I guess I got a little anxious.”
“Well, you don’t need to be. You look nice,” he says, tone light. His eyes look you over once to make his words comprehensible and then one more time purely for the love of the game. “Trying to impress me?”
You scoff, trying to recover. “You told me to dress nice.”
“C’mon, sweets. Play along. We’re on a date, you know. Your next lines should be something like,” he suddenly tucks his elbow in, body curving to the side slightly, hand half closed and held delicately over his lips and chin. His eyelashes flutter over his cheek as he looks down and to the side, a faux shyness that makes you want to laugh. “‘Thank you, you look good too’.”
You let yourself laugh, shoulders relaxing. “What the fuck?”
“You give it a try. It always works in anime.”
“No way in hell,” you continue, laughing fading into occasional giggles as his gesture replays in your mind. “Besides, this is a practice date. I'll save that technique for the real deal, thank you very much.”
“And for practice, we’re going to pretend this is a real date.” He leans back into his seat, legs stretching out and bracketing yours under the table. His feet bump against yours lightly. “Let's give it another try. Did I make you wait long?”
You stir the straw inside your drink, pretending to be nonchalant, though your fingers twitch slightly against the glass. “Not long… I guess.” You try a mysterious act, hearing that guys like a woman with secrets. At least, that’s what Shoko told you though a small part of you wonders if you should be taking “how to seduce a guy 101” from a lesbian.
“‘I guess’?” he echoes, tilting his head. “That’s the best you can do? You’re supposed to be charming me, remember? At least try to make it look like I'm not coercing you here.”
“I don’t care if I charm you or not,” you say quickly, cheeks warming. “I’m here to learn and you’re here to teach me.”
He laughs, a low, easy sound that makes your chest tighten. “You know, I'm not exactly made of time. Do you know how many girls and guys would kill to be in your position right now?”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes though don’t stop yourself from making your voice dry. “Oh sure, let’s spend this entire date talking about all the competition I have.”
“We would need at least four more dates to cover it all.”
“I didn’t know getting into a relationship with you would be such an investment.” You snort. “If all five of our dates are just going to be you listing my competition, I'd rather stand you up now and save myself the time. And the money.”
“I did offer to pay for your drinks.” He grins at the back and forth, the sides of his shoes bumping into your ankles lightly. “That’s it, you’re getting into it.”
“For practice.”
“Sure, sweets. Practice. Speaking of,” he says, leaning forward just enough that the sunlight catches his hair. “You should call me Satoru. We’re on a date, remember? I can’t tell if you’re on a date with me or my dad if you call me Gojo.”
You grimace. “Calling you by your first name makes it too real.”
“It is real. That’s what you should tell yourself to get into this.” He juts out his lower lip, drawing his eyebrows inward. “Come on, sweets, let me hear you say my name.”
“When you say it like that, it makes me want to throw a drink in your face.”
“Just once, Y/N.”
You huff and roll your eyes. “Satoru.”
“Oh my god, a girl called me by my first name!” He squeals.
You almost stand to get out of here if it means preventing people from associating you with him. He grabs your hand and drags you back down into your seat before you can properly escape, much to your dismay. “Relax, I’m just playing.”
“Are you here to mess around or help me?”
“Well, you need to tell me so I can help you. What do you even know about him?”
“About Geto?”
“Yeah, unless there’s someone else you want to know more about?” He grins, easy and confident.
You ignore his comment. “Well, I know he… likes books. music. He's kind… thoughtful. Plays the guitar. Ah, specifically electric."
“Are you listing off what’s on his dating profile right now?”
“Shut up,” you snap, but it comes out weaker than intended.
“He isn’t actively on any dating app right now, just for your information.”
“And how would you know this? What are you doing on there?”
“I’m not on hinge, unfortunate for the female population, I know. We just tell each other everything,” he says, leaning back, one elbow resting on the armrest of his chair as he studies you from across the table. “I’m helping you, you know? First rule, don’t just parrot his interests. Though maybe I don't have to worry about that since you’re clearly struggling to even remember them.”
“I wasn’t going to parrot him.”
“I know you were,” he interrupts, wagging a finger. “Last time I checked, liking exactly what he likes does not make you compatible. It makes you predictable. And desperate.”
“Okay, harsh.”
“It's all tough love, sweets.”
You fold your arms, slumping back in your seat, letting gravity do half the work of your sulk. “Fine then, oh wise love guru. What should i say instead? Like, let’s say he asks me what I'm into and my mind goes blank like last time. What then?”
“You're asking like it’s that difficult. Just be honest, tell him what you like regardless if it matches his interests. Do you want to be a groupie or be something more than a friend?”
“I want to be someone he likes.”
“So you're going to play the role of Suguru’s perfect girlfriend? And what after that, genius? Are you just going to pretend forever?”
Gojo looks over to the front counter and smiles at some waitresses standing there already looking in his direction. He turns back as they start giggling and playfully arguing over who should come over to take his order.
“Don’t force yourself to perform for him or curate yourself to be digestible. If the two of you are meant to be then he should want you.”
You look away, picking at nothing on your glass. “That's easy for you to say.”
“It's actually incredibly tiring being this emotionally intelligent all the time,” he says, face neutral.
You snort despite yourself and he looks satisfied.
“And what if I tell him and he doesn’t like it?”
Gojo shrugs, slow and deliberate. “Then he’s not for you.”
You frown. “Wow, you’re terrible at pep talks.”
One of the waitresses finally makes it to your table, an eager smile on her face and a determined look in her eyes. Behind her, you catch the rest of the staff shooting encouraging looks. She clutches her notepad a little too tightly, taking in a deep breath before talking. “Hello, are you, um, both ready to order?”
“Yeah,” Gojo says easily, flashing her a smile. “I’ll just grab a hazelnut toffee latte with soy milk.”
The woman quickly scribbles his order down. “Of course! one hazelnut toffee latte with soy milk.”
“And whatever she wants,” he adds, nodding toward you.
You blink, caught off guard. “Oh, I already ordered earlier. I'm fine for now, thanks.”
The waitress spares you a glance, eyes flickering briefly over you before returning to Gojo like a magnet snapping back into place. “Not a problem. Is there anything else I can get you started with today?”
“We're good, thank you.”
Her face falls. She nods, but lingers a moment too long, clearly hoping for something, another question, a joke, anything to keep the interaction going.
Gojo’s grin grows just a little bit wider as he obliges.
“Busy today?” He asks casually, tone warm and interested.
Her face lights up and she quickly steps forward again. “A little! It's usually busy in the mornings what with the morning rush and all. Honestly, it’s like nonstop until at least 1pm.”
“That’s brutal,” he sympathises, leaning back in his chair, posture loose and open. “At least you’ve got good coffee to survive on.”
She laughs, a bright and breathy sound that makes it clear she’s not just laughing at the coffee comment alone. “Perks of the job, I suppose. Do you come here often?”
Gojo tilts his head as if the question deserved genuine thought and wasn’t just a throwaway pick up line.
“Not as often as I should,” he decides easily. “But I might start if the service is this friendly.”
Her smile widens, pink creeping into her cheeks. “We try our best.”
“I was talking about you, sweetheart.”
You’ve been listening and watching with apt attention, taking mental notes on the right time to smile, when to tilt your head just so, when to tuck your hair behind your ears and when to employ the double tuck, when his last words make you frown.
You clear your throat, eyes fluttering away when both Gojo and waitress look over at you.
“Well,” the waitress starts suddenly, glancing down at her notepad like she needs to remind herself she’s on the clock, "I'll bring your drink out as soon as it’s ready.”
“Looking forward to it,” Gojo replies, though he hasn’t looked away from you yet.
She lingers half a beat longer, then turns and walks away, shoulders a little straighter than before.
“Done staring?” He teases.
“I was not staring. Don't you have the tact to not flirt with someone else when you’re on a date?”
“Oh, so now it’s a date? Only when it’s convenient for you, huh?”
You reach over for a napkin and crumble it up to throw it at him. It barely makes it halfway across the table before it starts fluttering down.
“It’s only manners,” you insist, cheeks warm. “I didn't know what to do when the two of you were talking.”
He snorts. “You could’ve joined the conversation.”
“And said what? "Hello, I'm also present and this jerk’s date for the day?”
“Hey, I like the sound of that,” he muses.
Your next crumpled up napkin doesn’t get any further than its predecessor. You glare at him, something about that conversation rubbing you the wrong way, echoing unpleasantly in your head in a way that makes you want to peel your skin off.
You clear your throat again.
“You're here to teach me like I taught you statistics, right? Even though one is clearly harder than the other.”
“Right. Getting you to date ready is much more difficult.”
You ignore him to save the life of one napkin. “So, how do I do that? Flirt so effortlessly and not make it cringe?”
“You want to use what I just said with the waitress on Suguru?” He actually laughs out loud. “Do not, he’s going to see right through you. You should have met his last ex. The two of them were absolutely disgusting and— oh wait, should I not talk about that?”
“Yeah, let’s not.”
He hums and changes the subject. “Anyway, just let it happen. Be natural. You talk to me just fine.”
“Yeah, but you’re you. frivolous, class clown, never takes anything seriously, probably never commits to anything,” you start listing, counting them on your fingers.
“I feel like the first thing and the last thing mean the same thing. Put one finger down.”
You refuse, still holding up four fingers. “Sleeps on a mattress on the ground.”
“So does half of Sig Kap. But relax, I get it. So you suck at flirting. Shouldn’t you be happy I gave you a live demonstration of how it’s done?”
That gets you frowning again.
“Do you always call everyone something?”
“What does that even mean?”
“You called her sweetheart.”
“I don't know her name. I wasn't about to call her ‘woman’, that sounds very sexist and I'm a feminist at heart. Thoughts on banning periods?”
“She has a name tag.”
“I don’t look at that area on a woman on the first date,” he pledges.
You continue without thinking.“How is anyone supposed to know when you actually mean it when you give everyone similar nicknames?”
He goes quiet, eyes narrowing slightly. “What?”
Before you can elaborate, or maybe divert and make him look away so you can dig yourself out of the hole you just created, the waitress returns with his drink. She leans over him, placing it down carefully.
“Here you go!”
“Thanks,” he says, polite but no longer quite as engaged. In fact, he hasn’t looked away from you, still giving you that same disbelieving look.
You fiddle with your own drink. Maybe you should have ordered something else if it meant spicing up the number of objects you have in your possession to pass awkward silence with.
The waitress lingers a moment before hesitantly leaving when it’s clear there’s no encore performance.
“I just meant it’s confusing for anyone, hypothetically,” you say in a rush, beating him. “Anyway! Flirting techniques, let’s talk about them!”
He watches you for a moment longer before dropping his head and ruffling his hair. You grimace, eyeing how close his head is to his open drink. When he looks back up, whatever conflict on his face has disappeared.
“Fine, okay. Let's talk. First of all, it’s important where the date takes place. There's unspoken etiquette for every typical date location.”
“Like how you go on a coffee date, you shouldn’t flirt with the waitress.”
Gojo cracks a grin. “You’re getting it. Look, Suguru is kind of an artsy guy. He'd probably take you to an art museum or like a jazz bar for your first date.”
You narrow your eyes. “How do you know that?”
“I told you, he tells me everything. Focus.” He dismisses your look. “He’s kind of an enjoy-the-moment kind of guy. Probably won’t talk too much while you’re both admiring something together and saves all the talking until after when he leads you to some underground totally underrated dinner spot.”
You wince. “Shit. I kind of like making little jokes in the moment.”
He snaps his fingers, face brightening. “Right? Like when you’re watching a movie in the cinemas!”
“Okay, that is a bit tricky. It depends.”
“Don't Genshin theorycraft me.”
“You're lucky I got that reference.”
Gojo shrugs. “Well, Suguru enjoys just existing with his special someone. Don't get me wrong, he definitely talks when you get him started but I think he’s kinda cool for being able to sit in silence with someone.”
You chew the inside of your cheek. “I’m kind of bad with silences. I end up embarrassing myself just to fill them. Do you think it’s fixable? Should I just not talk?”
“Woah, slow down. It’s fine, he has enough social awareness to fill in the gaps if you’re uncomfortable. But i’m just telling you what he likes,” he studies you. “He doesn’t like petnames, by the way.”
Heat creeps up your neck. “That’s fine, it’s not a dealbreaker,” you mumble.
“I'm just saying. He's a real fan of using your first name. When you two get on that basis, of course.”
“Anything else, Geto expert?”
Gojo hums, taking a long sip of his latte, eyes tracking up. “He likes meaningful stuff like art with a story behind it, long conversations about philosophy. Like yeah he still likes doing things just for fun but there’s a difference between like and love.”
You wince. “But love is meant to be silly, meaningless stuff. Like sending pictures of dogs cuddling because it reminded you of us or whether you’d still love each other if you turned into worms. Like taking the longer way back home just to spend more time together. Or, I don't know, building blanket forts as adults.”
Gojo’s mouth twitches.
You stop, suddenly aware you sound like you’ve been storing these thoughts and they’ve suddenly all gotten loose.
“Stuff that doesn’t matter,” you finish weakly.
He rests his chin on his palm. “Like going to the arcade and getting plushies for each other at the claw machines?”
You laugh, shoulders relaxing. “I'd obviously do better. You look like you have no hand eye coordination.”
“Did you forget I literally play ice hockey?”
“Right, your role as the benchwarmer?”
“My ass has never once graced those benches.”
“I don't know, I swear I remember seeing you on the sidelines.”
“You’ve come to watch me play before?” He grins, cheek slightly smushed from his position.
“Because Shoko went.”
He juts his lower lip out. “Harsh.”
There's a few seconds of silence as the conversation replays and you feel a sudden rush of embarrassment. You look up to see if he clocked your earlier slip up but he only tilts his head more into his hand.
“What?”
“Nothing.” You clear your throat and look down at your drink. It's left behind a ring of water around its base. “How are you two best friends when you’re so different?”
“Because he slows me down,” Gojo says like it’s simple. “And I drag him out of his head. But he doesn’t need another person to do that for him so don’t even think of taking my spot.”
You both share a laugh and it lingers a little longer than the joke deserves, warm and easy, until it naturally tapers off into something softer.
“Why do you even like him?” He suddenly asks, voice soft against the murmur of the cafe.
You slowly slide your gaze out the window as if reliving the moment. You can almost feel the rain on your skin, the warmth of a hoodie not your own, and the residual laughter at the back of your throat that makes you smile.
“Last semester when it was pouring rain, he saw me waiting outside a building without an umbrella and we ended up running through the storm. It’s stupid but it was fun and meaningless and definitely what I needed after my finals.”
Your words make him frown, finger tracing a random shape on the wet surface of his glass absentmindedly. “That doesn’t sound like him.”
“Maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought?” You offer.
“Don’t be ridiculous, he’s my other half.”
“Again, should I be concerned right now?”
“Are you homophobic?”
“No?”
“Then you’re fine.”
“Wait…”
Gojo glances down at his phone and sighs. “It's getting late, sweets. I'd love to stay longer but I promised the boys we’d go do this carwashing event.”
He pauses and looks up.
“Did you want to come?” he quickly adds on, “You don’t have to come alone, you could bring Shoko along or something.”
You wrinkle your nose. “No thanks. You can imagine that she’s not keen on seeing a bunch of shirtless boys.”
He grins. “Suit yourself. I'll walk you out. It's the least I can do on this date.”
You roll your eyes but stand and follow him out anyway, ducking under his arm as he holds the door open for you. Stepping out, you’re almost blinded by the bright sun and you have to cover your eyes to look up, squinting even with the shade provided by your palm.
He moves to stand in front of you. “Well, I'll see you around.”
Next tutoring session,” you remind him, letting your arm drop to your side. "Don't forget to watch the online lectures before then. And remember to do the weekly quizzes this time. And—”
He reaches over to ruffle your hair fiercely, laughing when your words turn into a startled squeak.
“Yes, yes, I got it,”
He lets you go and watches with a toothy grin as you start fixing your hair, glaring up at him and his audacity to smirk. His face quickly softens.
“Sorry I can’t walk you back to your dorms. I'm already running kind of late.”
“Don't worry about it,” you say when you feel like you look presentable enough. “Um, get there safe?”
“I will,” he starts stepping back. “Text me if you need anything.”
“Okay, make sure to—”
“Relax, sweets, I got it,” He says with a chuckle and a wave, before he turns and starts walking off in your opposite direction.
You watch him go for a little longer before heading back to your dorm.You stare up at your ceiling. your ceiling stares back down at you. You've been staring at your popcorn ceiling for so long that you’ve begun to discern shapes and different shades of what you had previously considered to be beige, plain and simple, but was now warping into the image of Gojo.
Something he had done yesterday clung to you even hours after the date. The ease in which he allowed the waitress’ fingers to brush his as he handed her the menus, the way he easily held onto your hand at the party, the lack of concern as he stood close to you on the walk back. You lift up your hands and slowly interlace your fingers. It's comfortable, familiar. until you start wondering one hand as someone else's.
Before you can doubt yourself, you pull yourself up and gather your phone and keys, heading to the door without another thought. On the way through the dorms, you send a quick text.
you: u free? im coming over
You stand outside Gojo’s door and knock. There's a muffled, incoherent reply before the door is pulled open, revealing Gojo. His hair is slightly damp with stubborn strands clinging to his forehead and he’s brushing his teeth. He's not wearing a shirt.
You stare at his chest.
“One second,” he says around the foam in his mouth. He holds the door open a little wider and ushers you in, letting the door fall to a gentle click behind you. “Sit on the couch.”
Wordlessly, you do, watching his bare back as he heads into his bathroom. The sound of water muffles your racing thoughts until he reappears, still shirtless but at least he’s not brushing his teeth anymore.
“Hey,” he says, irritatingly casual. “I saw your text. You didn’t even wait to see if I was free or not. For the record I am but imagine I wasn't. That would have been an awkward situation and between you and her, I would have picked her.”
You blink away your surprise and look up at him. “Her?”
“It’s a Friday night, Y/N. You’re lucky I don't have someone over.”
You frown a little at that and he continues, heading to his kitchenette to open his fridge, pulling out two beers. He hands you one, pushing it towards you once more when you don’t immediately take up his offer.
“So, what are you doing here?”
“Are you going to put on a shirt?”
He blinks before a wide grin splits across his face. “I was wondering what you were looking at so deep in thought. I didn't want to assume again after you made a fool of me at the party but I guess you do have working eyes after all. Do you want me to put on a shirt?”
You blush, finally looking away. “Obviously.”
He chuckles and places his beer down on the coffee table before going on a hunt to find a clean shirt. “But from the way you were eyeing me it really wasn’t that obvious. Besides, you’re telling me to put on a shirt in my own home?”
“It's common sense when you have a guest over.”
His voice carries over from his room. “You’re not really a guest, more like a pest. A guest implies I invited you over, no?”
“But yesterday you said I could come to you for anything.”
“Right. What was I thinking?” Gojo comes back out and flops next to you, the couch dipping under his sudden weight. He takes the beer from your hands and cracks it open before handing it back and doing the same to his. “So, you finally going to tell me what’s up or are you just here to leech off my dwindling beer supply?”
“I don’t even drink,” you mumble, watching as the water beads down your fingers.
“No, but I do have some manners for my guest.”
“You just said…” you trail off, recognising that you’ll only go round and round in circles if you keep up this conversation. you place the beer on the floor and turn to him. “Forget it. I'm here because I need your help.”
“Figures.” He holds the beer to his lips and takes a deep swig. “What can I do for you today?”
You bite your lip before turning to him. “Can I kiss you?”
Gojo chokes, pulling the beer from his lips with a hack, liquid spitting out onto his no longer clean shirt and sweatpants. He finally manages to get his mouthful of beer down, but he only coughs and hits at his chest. Hesitantly, you reach over and pat his back lightly.
He shrugs your touch away, looking at you in disbelief. “What did you just say?”
“I was wondering if you’d let me kiss you?”
“Just because you’re saying it politer now doesn’t take away how crazy you sound.” He stares at you incredulously. “Look, I know we went on a date yesterday but I thought you of all people knew it was a practice date. I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. Gojo Satoru doesn’t do relationships.”
You groan, rolling your eyes. “I didn’t suddenly develop a crush on you, Gojo.”
“Satoru,” he corrects you despite his shock.
“Satoru,” you emphasise. “I don’t like you.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Yesterday just got me thinking. You’re so natural with touching and stuff and I realised that I have literally no experience whatsoever. I know Geto isn’t the type of person to care about whether I'm a virgin or not but I care. I care because I know I'll freeze up if we ever get to that part.”
He stares at you. “When i asked you a few days ago about whether or not you wanted to sleep with him, you told me to shut up.”
“That was a few days ago.” You shuffle closer to him on the couch and watch as his eyes drop to your thighs inching closer, then back up, something like fear on his face. “I know this is a big favour but I thought since you’ve kissed so many girls before and they’ve never meant anything that you might be okay with this? I mean you thought we were going to kiss that time at the party. So is this really that crazy to ask?”
“Yes,” he says immediately. “It is. because you like Suguru and I'm his best friend.”
“But this is practice.”
“You can’t just echo what I've said in the past.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking off in the distance before coming back to you. “Suguru isn’t the type of person to rush to things like that. You'd be in good hands.”
“I know but this is for me. So I know what to expect.”
His face is contorted in a way you’ve never seen before. You decide to give another push.
“Just think of me as one of your hookups.”
He exhales softly, eyes staring into yours. “Are you sure? Have you even thought this through?”
“Yes, I have,” you lie. “I mean, there aren’t any cons. I'll lose my first kiss, get experience, and it’s all under practice anyway so it won’t mean anything. And you get a hookup for the night. It's a win win!”
His face only seems to pale more at your words. “You haven’t had your first kiss yet? Fuck, that’s a lot of pressure. And I feel like you have the wrong idea about what a hookup entails.”
You shrug. “Kissing? Making out?”
“Sex.”
You pause. “Well, we won’t go that far. Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He exclaims and you quickly deflect because he’s looking more and more shocked.
“We can start with kissing.” You shift closer, your thigh pressing against his. “Come on, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
Gojo looks at you, really looks at you, from the encouraging look in your eyes to the determined line of your lips. He huffs, running another hand through his hair at the absurd change to his Friday night plans. Sure, kissing someone wasn’t a big deal for him, not when he’s tasted the lips of many before, but there was something different about taking someone’s first kiss.
Finally, he sighs, long and hard. “Just a kiss.”
You beam, face lighting up. “Of course!”
He hesitates, cursing under his breath something long but incoherent, before gently reaching out to tilt your chin up. “Tell me if you change your mind. Just shove me away, okay?”
You nod enthusiastically. “What do I have to do?”
“Just let me take the lead for now. And if you feel confident enough to kiss back, go for it.” Again, Gojo mumbles something under his breath, the absurdity of the situation still not lost to him. He leans forward as if to seal the deal before pausing, moving his hand up to caress your cheek tenderly.
Your breath hitches, eyes wide as you curse your own touch-starved form.
“You okay?” He asks, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. “Changed your mind?”
You shake your head slightly.
Gojo huffs and you feel the puff of air against your lips.
When his lips finally press against yours, fitting against yours in a way you’ve only ever seen in movies, you feel… nothing. You squeeze your eyes tighter, trying to dig through the sensations and pick out the one that’s meant to set off fireworks and melt your stomach into goo. Instead, it just feels like there’s someone’s lips touching yours.
Sensing your discomfort, Gojo pulls back, eyes fluttering open to meet your unsure ones. His nose scrunches up a little as he studies your expression.
“Hey,” he starts, voice low. “You're hurting my ego.”
You lick your lips, trying to return your lips to their usual sensation. “It just wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“What were you expecting?”
“Butterflies?”
He chuckles, hand still caressing your cheek. “You're kissing me without any feeling. It’s not my fault you’re as stiff as a board. Relax. Imagine Suguru or something.”
Now it’s your turn to make a face. "Wouldn't that hurt your ego more?”
“Just relax,” he repeats and you make the conscious effort to focus on the way he’s stroking your face soothingly. “That’s it. Good girl.”
“Don't call me that, I cringed.”
He laughs, leaning in. “Abandon the part of you that cringes not the part of you that is cringe.”
With that, he brushes his lips against your again, letting you feel the slow movement and determine the pace.
It’s not exactly rocket science, this kissing business, and you start to mimic the motion of parting your lips against his. It takes a few tries for him to hum in approval and deepen the kiss, his free hand sliding up to cup your neck and gently pull you closer to him. You let out a soft squeak and quickly pick up from the momentary break in rhythm on your end.
When his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, you blanch and pull back.
“Okay,” he starts. “That really hurt my feelings.”
“What was that?” You cover your mouth with your hands, the slimy sensation replaying in your mind.
“That was my tongue.”
“Why didn’t it feel good?”
He rolls his eyes at your complaint and slides an arm around your waist, pulling you closer until you’re half on his lap. “Because you’re thinking too hard.”
“I was not thinking at all, actually,” you say, scandalised. “I didn't know I was going to be ambushed.”
“Okay, my bad, I should have given you a heads up.” He pauses and announces solemnly, "I'm going to start using my tongue.”
You make a face and he huffs out a laugh, forehead dropping briefly against yours. Up close like this, you can feel the vibration of it in his chest, the way his grip tightens just a little like he doesn’t want you getting any bright ideas about you escaping.
“You're doing fine,” he says more softly, thumb brushing slow circles at your waist.
You think briefly that this must be the allure to him that has girls fawning for his attention. You're not immune either, and you sub consciously melt under his touch, relaxing again. Once you’ve done it once, given into his temptation, it’s easy to fall back again.
“Fine doesn’t seem like outstanding status,” you mumble, trying to maintain some resistance.
“For your first time, it wasn’t so bad.” His nose nudges yours, playfully and coaxing and you’re in his web again. “C’mere.”
Gojo doesn’t pull you this time. Instead, he just waits, one arm warm and steady around your hips, hand stroking your hair as he waits for you to come to him. It's a sign of consideration that has you feeling jittery and warm, though there’s a lazy smirk on his lips that suggests he has other ulterior motives that makes it as infuriating as it is attractive.
Your gaze flicks to his mouth then back to his eyes. His lashes lower just slightly, watching you watch him, and something in your stomach flips over completely. Probably your common sense.
“Just… slower,” you mumble.
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “Slower.”
He still doesn’t move first which is deeply unfair, because now you have to be the brave one.
You lean in. It's clumsy at first, more of a gentle bump of noses and a too-soft press of lips than anything smooth or cinematic like he had kissed you earlier. You almost pull back in embarrassment, ready to admit that maybe he was a better kisser than you had given him credit for if it’ll mean this pathetic peck of yours can end and he can make it good again, when his hand tightens on your hip and he takes over.
His mouth settles properly over yours, angle shifting until the awkwardness disappears, until it stops being baby’s first kiss and starts becoming a warm, steady pressure that has your toes curling. Yhe faint brush of his breath against your cheek, the subtle tilt of his head that fits your mouth together and when he nips at your bottom lip, a soft startled sound escapes before you can stop it.
He swallows it down without hesitation.
His hand tightens reflexively and slides down, cupping your ass as he leans back and guides you onto him, fingers pressing into the fabric of your clothes to keep you there, not that you had any plans of moving. One moment your body is twisted awkwardly to meet him and the next you’re seated full on his lap, his warmth solid beneath you.
His breath fans across your cheek in uneven bursts, warm and damp, and the faint scrape of his teeth lingers as a tingling awareness.
You realise, distantly, that you’re no longer stiff.
Your hands, which had been braced awkwardly against his shoulders, loosen without permission. One slides up into his hair as you lean into him, damp strands cool at the ends, warm near the scalp, and the sensation grounds you in a way nothing else does. His mouth opens at the sensation and when his tongue sweeps along your lower lip again, you don’t pull away. It isn’t slimy or invasive like last time, in fact you welcome it, mimicking his openness and the kiss deepens.
Your breath mingles, movements syncing up and under the guidance of his lips and tongue, you start getting bolder.
You shift closer, just a fraction, your head moving up and face tilting down to angle yourself deeper when a low sound slips out of him.
Your eyes fly open and you pull away. “Was that—”
“Nope,” he says immediately, eyes darker than when you last checked. He's panting beneath your palms, a slightly warm tint to his face as he stares at you.
You swallow. “You just—”
“I didn’t,” he insists, far too quickly.
When he’s so adamant like that, it’s a little hard to say anything more. Besides, while it’s almost fun to poke the bear, the memory of his mouth on yours has you thinking about something else entirely.
You don’t move from his lap and he doesn’t push you off.
“Think you’re getting it?” he asks, watching you with something unreadable lurking in his eyes.
You don’t hesitate. “No.”
You stare at each other, catching a much needed breath.
“Alright,” he says, voice rough. “One more. and then we have to stop.”
You lean in and he lets out a soft sigh like a man doomed before meeting you halfway.
Gojo doesn’t start slow this time, maybe because he knows if he does, he won’t be able to control himself.
His hand slides more firmly to the back of your neck, guiding you towards him with a kind of impatience, mouth finding yours with confidence, your chest tightening at the gesture. Your fingers clutch at his shirt instinctively and he makes a low noise at the back of his throat, deepening the kiss until you slide your fingers up and into his hair.
A low exhale slips through his nose, almost shaky and he tilts his head in response to your faint tugs.
“That’s it,” he murmurs against your lips.
Emboldened, you tilt your head and slide your tongue into his mouth to taste him. He tastes like beer and minty and something addictive that has you repeating the movement over and over. When he reciprocates, your stomach swoops instead of recoiling.
You shift, suddenly desperate to get closer and settle over his bulge.
Wow.
You both jerk away from each other quickly, your hands leaving his hair and his arm retracting from your waist. The break feels violent in its suddenness, like surfacing too fast in deep water.
Cold air rushes between you where there had only been warmth seconds ago. Your lips tingle, oversensitive, parted as you drag in a shaky breath. Gojo’s chest rises and falls sharply, eyes wide in a way you’ve never seen before, pupils blow dark. For once, there is no smirk, no teasing glint, just a raw, stunned awareness, like he’s trying to process several things at once and failing at all of them.
You become acutely aware of exactly where you’re sitting.
Heat floods your face and to the tips of your ears. you scramble backward, knees slipping against the couch cushions, putting space between your bodies even as the loss of his warmth makes your skin prickle.
“Oh my god,” you breathe, horrified. “I didn’t—I mean, I wasn't trying to—”
“Don’t,” he groans, slumping back, covering his flushed face with his arm. His other hand reaches down to adjust himself though he doesn’t seem to have any ideas of covering himself so you watch unabashedly. “Just don’t say anything for a second.”
You clamp your mouth shut obediently.
The room feels too small, too quiet, every little sound like the rustle of fabric or the faint hum of the fridge in the kitchenette, even your own uneven breathing, suddenly feels magnified.
Eventually, Gojo pulls himself up, fixing dark eyes on your figure.
“I’m sorry.” You rush to say, though you’re not sure what you’re apologising for.
“It’s fine, it’s not your fault. It wasn't because of you, I guess I've just been pent up,” he runs his hand through his hair and you watch as he pauses, something passing over his face before he abruptly pulls his hand away. “Anyway, it’s normal.”
You nod too fast. “Right, yes. Totally fine. Super normal, nothing weird happened.”
“Right,” he says. “Nothing weird.”
Your shoulders sag a little, tension leaking out now that that’s been cleared up. The adrenaline leaves behind a strange floaty sensation and you try, and fail, to push down the sudden desire to continue, to explore even further.
“We’re definitely stopping the practice today,” he says, crushing your dreams.
You nod again, somewhat grateful that a decision has been made for you considering the conflict thoughts warring in your head. “Okay.”
He suddenly ruffles his hair all messy and stands up with an exaggerated groan that makes you jump. “Okay! That's over. You did good by the way. You’re gonna be trouble when you actually start dating someone.”
You frown. “Why?”
“It's a compliment, sweets, learn to recognise them, yeah?” He starts walking over to his kitchenette. “Want an actual drink?”
Your brain is still somewhere back in that last kiss, struggling to catch up. “Sure. Just water, right?”
He snorts. “I’m not a creep.”
When you lean back against the couch and close your eyes to recenter yourself, he steals a glance and lets out a long exhale. He closes his eyes for a moment like he’s deeply exhausted.
When he opens his eyes again and makes his way to you, his signature smirk is back.
If anyone saw how nervous you look about to text Gojo, they might think you had a crush on him. Which is absurd because you clearly have a crush on Geto.
Your thumb hovers over the send button, chewing the inside of your cheeks as you debate whether this is a good idea or not.
It’s been a week since you first asked Gojo for advice and though his methods weren’t orthodox nor was he incredible help, you still had to give him his merits. Talking to him was relaxing in a way, the constant back and forth familiar and even his judgement didn’t seem to come from a bad place. The physical stuff was a whole other story and did not influence your thoughts on how you felt about him whatsoever.
In summary, Gojo has given you determination that you couldn’t have achieved on your own.
Using this newfound confidence, you take a deep breath and finally hit send.
you: hey are you in class today?
Not even a full minute later, his reply buzzes.
gojo: yeah i am
stalking me, super fan?
you: god this is exactly why i hate texting u
gojo: :(
why whats up though
ur class doesn’t finish until 2 right?
you: yeah how did u know that?
u sure ure not my super fan?
gojo: guilty!
i just know dont ask what u cant handle
so u gonna leave me in suspense or are u gonna tell me
you: well you have class with geto right
The inside of your cheeks starts getting a little tender as you continue to gnaw and bite at the flesh, anxiously waiting as Gojo’s typing bubbles appear and disappear.
gojo: yeah i do
you: can i come see you?
gojo: what
you: like ill come to your class but can you leave after so its just me and him
u were talking about creating these situations on saturday right
so like
wouldnt this be perfect?
gojo: god this conversation isn’t good for my heart
you: ?
gojo: our class ends later than urs
you: that’s fine i can wait !!
gojo: nah i dont feel like it
you: ?????
man what the hell you said you’d help me
gojo: and i did
on saturday
what if i want suguru all to myself today?
you: come on please???
gojo: what if i dont want to see u
you: well i wont be bothering u this time
i just need an excuse to see him
i think whatever magic u casted over me on sat worked im feeling like scarily confident
i want to talk to him before the feeling goes away
like i feel like i can really do it this time you know?
please satoru?
gojo: god u have no idea how evil u are
fine
ill get us to go to the library
you: THANK YOU@!!!!!!
gojo: u owe me
you: YES DEFINITELY
gojo: another date this friday then
you: OKAY!!!
wait what
Waiting at the library is agonising. you attempt to complete some smaller tasks for your courses that you’ve left in lieu of thinking about, well, boys. But just like every time before, your thoughts stray and settle on him. His pretty effortless smiles, his soft laughter, that sparkling glint in his eyes when he looks at you and it’s like the world quietens just to listen too. his long fingers, the mole on his earlobe, his white—
When your phone buzzes again an hour later, you jump up from your seat to find the location of the photo Gojo sent.
You slip into the fifth library floor as quietly as possible, scanning the endless rows of students for the familiar top of someone’s head. It doesn't take long for your eyes to settle on him.
Gojo is impossible to miss, slouched low in a study booth, hood up and drooping over his hair and the bottom pulled up to cover his mouth. His arms are crossed over his chest as he stares at his laptop screen.
And of course, Geto sits across from him.
Taking in a deep breath, you slow your pace into something that might pass as a casual stroll as if you had randomly come upon them by chance and stop by their booth.
“Oh, hi Satoru!”
He doesn’t look up. “Hey.”
Then, after a manual moment, you turn to Geto. “Oh my god! Geto? Wow.” Your voice comes out pitched a little too loud. “What a coincidence!”
Geto looks up with a smile. “Hey, Y/N. What are the chances we ran into each other?”
Gojo snorts and you don’t miss how pointed it is. You take the chance to glare at the side of his face but he only sinks into his hoodie with a grumble. You continue to stare, even narrowing your eyes as if it’ll sharpen your gaze and he finally lets out a loud groan, flipping the hood down to ruffle his hair and sit up.
“Oh no,” he announces into the silence, loud enough to draw a few irritated glances, not that he cares. He checks his phone, staring at his empty notification list. “It looks like my best friend accidentally locked himself out of his dorm.”
Geto pauses. “I'm your best friend.”
You purse your lips, watching as Gojo begins to slowly pack up his things. Granted, he only needed to close his laptop and shove it into his tote bag, without a case mind you. He refuses to look up despite your efforts to catch his gaze.
“Sorry man, duty calls. I can’t help that i’m such a good friend.” He stands, slinging his bag over his shoulder. When he passes by, his arm brushing against yours despite the empty space all around, he leans down to whisper, “Good luck.”
You don’t have the time to decipher if it’s sincerity or sarcasm that you detect because he leaves, his lingering cologne the only sign that he was ever there.
You turn back to Geto, offering a small, awkward smile, wondering if he’s caught on.
“What was that about?” You laugh.
Geto chuckles softly. “Sorry about him. You know how he can be sometimes.”
He looks up at you patiently.
“Well, an empty spot has opened up. Are you staying to study?”
You fight the urge to celebrate. You happily erase thoughts of Gojo from your mind, leaving the gruelling task of decoding his strange behaviour for another day. Gojo’s seat is still warm when you take it, pulling out your laptop just for the act. There was no way you were wasting this golden opportunity with actually studying, don’t be silly.
“So,” you begin, picking at the corner of your sleeve. “Any plans this weekend?”
“You didn’t hear? Satoru is having a game this weekend. It’s just a preliminary but he’s been hyped for it. I'm sure he’d love it if you rocked up.”
You almost laugh out loud. “No way. He'd hate that.”
Geto’s brows lift, amused. “Why would he hate it?”
“Because,” you say, gesturing vaguely. “We're not really friends. More like we have a symbiotic relationship. If we didn’t have that, I doubt we’d even talk to each other.”
“I don't think so,” Geto smiles at you but instead of giving you the butterflies, it leaves you feeling unsure. “But you should come. Not by yourself, of course, I'm sure Shoko would come along.”
“If she was going to go, she’d just take Utahime.” You shift in your seat, throwing the idea around in your head. “Even if I wanted to, I don't think I know anyone else who’d want to come with.”
“Do you want to go with me?”
Your brain blanks.
“What?”
“I was planning on going anyway,” he says, tone casual and all your senses tunnel-vision on him. “Besides, I've been curious about the girl who’s been taking up so much of Satoru’s time.”
Your answer is obvious.
“I’d love to!”
It comes out a little too fast, a little too bright, but you can’t quite bring yourself to care. Relief, excitement, disbelief, it all tangles together in your chest until the only discernable thing left is a giddy sort of lightness.
Geto’s smile widens, clearly pleased and you beam back. He hands you his phone.
“Can I have your Insta then?So I can text you the details later.”
Your hands shake as you take it, thumbs clumsy as you type in your username, backspacing more times than you’d like to admit. You’re suddenly hyperaware of everything, the way he’s close enough to see your screen, the warmth of his hand where it had just been, the ridiculous desire to go through your own profile but through his eyes settling on your mind. Later, you can already imagine stalking your own profile, scrutinising every photo, every caption, trying to imagine what it would look like to be him scrolling through for the first time.
When he takes his phone back, he doesn’t immediately pocket it. Instead, he actually looks, thumb scrolling down, humming.
Oh god, he’s looking right now.
"Where's that quote from your bio from?” He asks, glancing up briefly. “It sounds familiar.”
“Oh, um. It’s from my favourite novel.” Your eyes flutter across his face as you tell him the title, sneaking in a quick description to try to sell it.
“I’ll have to check it out then,” Geto says, putting his phone away. “Do you read often?”
“Not as much as I want to. You know how it is, with school and everything. Not to mention books are crazy expensive nowadays.”
He nods sympathetically. “There's this small bookshop tucked away near the city. It's actually close by the rink where Satoru’s game is. I could show you after his game on Saturday.”
Your breath catches.
“After the game?” You repeat, trying very hard to sound normal and not out-of-breath.
Geto nods, completely at ease.
“If you’re not in a rush to get back after,” he adds, considerate as ever. “It says open pretty late.”
You stare at him for a second, thoughts scrambling over each other.
He’s inviting you out after a game. That meant walking together, talking more, being alone without the buffer of a crowd screaming over a bunch of men slamming into each other and hitting with their sticks.
You realise you’re meant to give an answer and quickly hurry.
“Yeah, that sounds perfect actually!” You say, a touch too fast, then wince and try again, softer. “I mean—yeah. That sounds really nice.”
“Good,” he says simply, smile deepening. “It's a cozy place. You could get lost in there for hours.”
“That sounds dangerous. I already have a book-buying problem."
“Secondhand prices,” he reminds you. “It's much safer.”
You hum. “That's debateable. Lower prices just means I have to buy more.”
You can’t believe your luck. Not only had Geto basically invited you on a date to Gojo’s game, he’s also asked you to go book shopping together afterward. And somehow, you had just finished a perfectly normal conversation with him without embarrassing yourself beyond recovery.
Could things possibly get any better?
“You know,” he starts up again and you lean in. “Satoru’s doing suspiciously good in his classes recently. Any clue why?”
You freeze, temporarily thrown off guard. “He better be. I don't tutor him for nothing.”
“I knew it was you. Why are you tutoring him? If he’s blackmailing you, I can help,” he says with a straight face.
“No, no! nothing like that!” You rush to explain.
He cracks a smile. “I’m just joking. He's not actually as bad as his reputation makes him out to be. It's all bad rep, you know?”
While you’ve known Gojo through his reputation for as long as you can remember, you’ve never once stopped to consider that might not be everything about him.
“What do you mean?”
“Sig Kap had a frat sweetheart two years ago,” Geto explains, folding his hands loosely on his laptop. “She was nice, really sweet but some of the older guys treated her like shit. When Satoru called some of the boys out for messing with her they weren’t too happy.”
Your brows lift. “So did they kick him out or something?”
“Not that there’s much they could have done considering his family.”
“What about them?”
He glances at you surprised. “You don’t know?”
You shake your head.
“Huh.” His expression softens into something gentler. “Yeah. A lot of people approach him because they want something, connections, favours, you know the deal. He absolutely hates it. Ironically, that influence is also what kept the older guys from pushing back too hard and they couldn’t exactly scare him off so he’s there to stay.”
“And some people still don’t like him?”
“Some still don’t,” Geto confirms. “So they spread all those stupid rumours instead. Probably easier that way since it’s not exactly traceable.”
Your stomach tightens. “What kind of rumours?”
He hesitates, then shrugs. “Stuff about him sleeping around. that he’s messed with every girl on campus, that kind of thing. You don’t have to look so devastated, it doesn’t bother him much. If anything, it gets him more game. But it’s far from the truth. I mean you’re a girl on campus and he hasn’t messed with you.”
Something about the way he says it, calm and matter-of-fact, makes your chest ache.
“He did earn a lot of respect back,” Geto continues, oblivious to your growing distress. “Especially from the younger guys. But some of the older ones never really got over it.”
He falls silent, studying you with that gentle, searching look that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope and the spotlight is shining down on you. Whatever he sees under the lens makes him smile.
“It’s nice,” he says softly. “That you’re so genuine with him. He doesn’t get that very often.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut. Couldn't he have used a word other than ‘genuine’? Because you aren’t genuine, far from it, and that realisation makes your stomach drop, nausea blooming sharp and sudden and upheaving the contents.
You approached Gojo with a plan just like all those who have approached him with ulterior motives in the past. And you’ve used him for his friendship and his willingness to help, to get closer to the person right in front of you.
You are no better than the people Geto just described. Worse, even.
Heat rushes to your face, then drains away just as quickly, leaving you cold.
You push your chair back abruptly, the legs scraping loudly against the floor.
“Where did Gojo go?” you ask, wincing internally.
Geto blinks up at you, startled by the sudden shift. “Oh, uh.” He gestures vaguely toward the exit. “He said he had to help me—that is, his friend unlock his door. He's probably back in his room now though.”
You nod too quickly, already stuffing your laptop into your bag with fumbling hands, cables tangling as if they’re conspiring against you.
“Are you going after him?” Geto asks gently.
You freeze for a split second.
Are you?Here you are, sitting across from the person you supposedly like, the person you engineered this entire situation to get closer to, and you’re about to abandon the conversation to chase after his best friend. This is your chance, the perfect golden opportunity, and you’re throwing it away. and yet, you can’t bring yourself to completely doubt yourself.
“Yeah,” you say, half a smile hovering on your lips. “I’m so sorry. There’s just something I need to say to him.”
You bite your lip.
“See you at the match though?"
Geto’s surprise melts into an easy grin. "Don't worry about it. Good luck. And Y/N, seriously, take care of him, okay?”
The words prick at your skin with a faint sense of deja vu, but you don’t stop to examine it. Instead, you give Geto one last shaky smile, sling your bag over your shoulder, and hurry toward the exit. Your heart pounds so loudly it drowns everything else.
You knock at what you believe is his door if memory serves correct.
“Go away, I'm jerking it.”
You can’t decide if he’s being serious or just scaring unwanted guests away. Regardless, you clear your throat and talk.
“Sorry for interrupting? Look, it’s me, it’s Y/N. Can I come in?”
No sooner had you said your name, the door flies open, Gojo standing right behind, eyes wide and face flushed.
“Y/N? What are you—I mean, I thought you had that date with Suguru?” He goes to run a hand through his hair but pauses, switching to his other hand.
“Yeah well, clearly I left him to come see you.” You sigh deeply and brush past him into his room. “There’s something I need to say to you and it’s really eating up at me for some reason.”
“No sure, go ahead. Walk right in,” he mumbles but doesn’t try to stop you, instead closing the door gently. “What are you doing here? Because if you’re here to gloat or have a girl talk, Shoko is the one for you.”
You flop onto his couch, staring up at his ceiling. He pauses before following, the couch cushions dipping under his weight as he drops down beside you.
“Gojo, I’m really sorry,” you say, turning to him.
He stares back unamused. “I told you to call me Satoru.”
You blink, momentarily caught off guard before correcting yourself. “Satoru. I'm really sorry.”
“Okay.” His frown lifts and he leans back to look at you. “About what?”
You open your mouth, then close it again, suddenly unsure where to even start.
“About everything?” You try weakly.
He raises a brow. “That narrows it down.”
You groan, dragging a hand over your face. “Okay, specifically I feel like I've been using you and being annoying and dragging you into my mess. And also I abandoned you in the library which was rude and I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't and I'm really sorry.”
Gojo blinks at you and you hold your breath for the verdict.
“...that’s it?”
“That’s not ‘it’, that’s a lot,” you argue, pushing yourself up. “You've been helping me this whole time and I'm just barging into your life, asking for unreasonable favors and taking up your time.”
He watches you for a long moment, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes, surprise, confusion, maybe even something softer that he quickly buries under a flippant expression.
“That's it?” he repeats, slower this time.
You nod, twisting in your fingers together in your lap, the fight leaving your body as quick as it came. “I mean, it's not nothing. I know I've been a lot. And you didn’t have to help me at all, with any of it, but you did and I…” Your voice falters. “I don't want you to think I was just… using you.”
Silence settles between you, thick but not entirely uncomfortable. The hum of his mini fridge in the corner fills the gaps. Somewhere down the hall, a door slams and laughter echoes faintly before fading.
Gojo exhales through his nose and leans back, head tipping against the couch cushion as he stares up at the ceiling.
“You’re terrible,” he mutters.
He turns his head to look at you properly, blue eyes sharp in a way that makes your chest tighten. Up close like this, without the buffer of banter or crowds or motion, it’s impossible to ignore how intense he can be when he isn’t performing for anyone. You've had the privilege to see this side of him a few times, and the thought that he’s let you in and you’ve only gone and used him fills you with more guilt.
“You didn’t abandon me in the library,” he continues. “I left on my own free will, remember?”
“Yeah but—”
“And you’re not using me,” he adds, voice flattening slightly. “If you were, then you aren’t using me to my full potential.”
You huff a weak laugh. “Thanks?”
“I mean it,” he says, not smiling. “People who use others don’t show up at their door looking like they’re going to throw up from guilt.”
Heat creeps up your neck. “I did not look like that.”
“You did,” he says easily. “Still kind of do.”
You shove his shoulder lightly. He barely moves, solid as ever, but the corner of his mouth lifts and the tension in your chest loosens at the sight.
“So… you’re not mad?” You ask carefully.
He considers that more seriously than you expected. “I was.”
The worry comes back tenfold.
“But not for the reason you think. So stop looking like you’ve aged ten years, sweets, it’s not a good look on you.”
You wait for him to elaborate but he doesn’t.
You sigh, unable to keep up with the emotional whiplash and opt to instead throw it all away.
“Okay, well that’s cryptic," you mutter.
He shrugs. “I'm a mysterious guy. It’s all part of the irresistable, untouchable charm.”
“I don’t see how you can be mysterious when you’re so loud.”
“I open up to you and this is what I get?”
“You did not open up.”
He turns his head back toward the ceiling. “And now I'm closing back down.”
You roll your eyes, but the knot in your chest has loosened enough that you can breathe again, you almost miss this back and forth and it seems he does too because he relaxes fully into his couch. Without thinking, you mimic him, shoulder brushing his. This time, neither of you moves away.
The proximity feels different than before. You've been closer to him than this, and you randomly recall being on his lap for some reason unrelated to this specific moment and the charged, quiet atmosphere.
After a moment, he speaks again, softer.
“Did you at least get what you wanted?”
You hesitate, the question knocking you out of orbit. “I think so. I mean he asked me to go to the game with him. and then a bookstore after.”
Gojo goes still beside you.
“My game?” He shakes his head with a scoff. “Figures. Well, good for you.”
You twist the fabric of your sleeve between your fingers, suddenly unsure why that answer feels so unsatisfying.
“Yeah,” you say anyway, forcing brightness into your voice. “It is good.”
He hums noncommittally, eyes still fixed somewhere on the ceiling. For someone who never shuts up, his silence feels louder than anything he could say. You sneak glances at him from the corner of your eye, observing the strong curve of his nose, the harsh bob of his Adam's apple, the rise and fall of his chest and his big hands you’ve had the opportunity to feel on your ass.
The quiet stretches, though it is far from quiet inside your head.
Then, before you can stop yourself, you’re already opening your mouth.
“Can I ask you something?”
His gaze slides to you instantly, sharp and attentive as if he was waiting for you to break the silence first. “Not to be that guy but you just did.”
“A real question.” You roll your eyes though his somewhat predictable rage bait helps ease some tension. Still, you hesitate, throat tight. If you say it out loud, it becomes real and no longer a suppressed fantasy. But if you don’t say anything, this feeling in your chest might never go away, tainting every future you might have with Geto.
“How do you know what you’re doing?” You ask.
One white brow lifts. “In what context? I'm good at a lot of things. You're gonna have to narrow it down, sweets.”
You groan softly. “With girls. With… touching. And stuff. Etcetera.”
Understanding dawns slowly, then all at once. You don’t catch the shift in experience because you stare stubbornly at your hands clasp in your lap, heat flooding your face.
“Oh.”
“I just don’t know,” you admit, voice small. “I don't know what I'm doing at all and it’s embarrassing.”
He sits up a little, attention sharpening in a way that makes your skin prickle.
“Y/N.”
You press on before he can interrupt. “I mean, I know theoretically, obviously. That's what bio class is for right? But I know in practice I’ll just freeze. Or overthink or do nothing. And if things ever go further with Geto, I don't want to be useless. You mentioned he’s had exes before, right? But I haven't. And that kind of sucks to think about.”
Then softly. “You're probably the closest thing to experience I have.”
“Useless,” he starts. “Is not the right word I'd use. Suguru would never think that. He’s not a dick.”
You finally look at him. “I don’t want him to regret it. Or think I'm awkward. or that I don't want him.”
He studies you for a long moment, jaw tight, eyes searching your face like he’s looking for something he hopes not to find. “And you’re telling me this because…?”
You scoff. “You're not stupid. I mean sure, you almost failed baby’s first statistics but you’re not dumb.”
“No, I guess I'm not, thanks,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “But I was kind of hoping maybe I'm still fantasising.”
“You were fantasising before?”
“Let's not go there.”
“It’s a Friday,” you say slowly. "Shouldn't you have a hook up right about now?”
He pouts, looking oddly down. “I wasn't feeling like it.”
“So you had to use your hand.”
“I wasn't jerking off, Y/N.”
Neither of you believe that statement. Here you are, sitting on the couch of campus heartthrob Gojo Satoru, joking around about the lack of a female body against him while you’re upset about being a virgin. Even Gojo, who isn’t admittedly the best at math, shouldn’t struggle with putting two and two together.
“Right, I believe you.” You bite your lip, opening your eyes wider as you plead. “I just hate feeling unprepared. You’ve seen just how bad I freeze. Can’t you help me?”
He chews on his lips aggressively before finally groaning, running a hand down his face. “You have the worst ideas known to man. Fine. I'll help you. But we're stopping if it gets weird.”
“Obviously.”
“Do you even remember how to kiss?”
“Find out for yourself.”
You grab his collar and tug him towards you, smacking your lips against his the second he’s in range. It's not the graceful, fireworks-exploding moment from rom-coms, more like two magnets clashing awkwardly, teeth bumping before you recall the right angle. Gojo chuckles into the kiss, the vibration tickling your mouth, and you pull back just enough to glare at him.
“It hurts that you don’t remember my lessons, sweets,” Gojo purrs, clearly enjoying your fluster.
“Shut up and kiss me properly,” you mutter, snarky even as your cheeks burn.
You dive back in, and this time it clicks, most likely due to his more active participation. Your lips move in sync, his tongue slipping past your teeth. It's surprisingly nice, all heat and shared air, making your stomach flip in a way that’s equal parts nerves and excitement. You didn’t realise how much you were craving this since the last time.
Gojo’s hands stay loose on your waist, respectful but firm, until he deepens the kiss with a low hum. You feel him shift under you, his body reacting before his brain catches up. When you break apart for air, his eyes are darker, pupils blown wide. He adjusts his hips, and there’s no missing the semi-hard bulge straining against his jeans because it nudges insistently against your inner thigh.
You both look down.
“Uh, yeah,” he says, voice a little rough, something like accusation in his eyes as he glares down at Gojo junior. “Guess that means you do remember lesson one after all. Mind if I lose the pants?”
You snort, trying to play it cool despite the heat pooling in your gut. “Not so reluctant now, huh?”
“Game is game.”
He grins, all cock swagger, and pops the buttons off his jeans. They slide down his legs in a heap, leaving him in snug black boxers that do nothing to hide his growing interest. Gojo’s leaner than you’d pegged him for, abs carved from lazy gym sessions, waist dipping in before flaring to solid shoulders. But your eyes zero in lower, where his cock twitches half-hard against the fabric, outlining a decent length that’s got you curiously intrigued rather than intimidated.
When he sits back down, he leans back on his palms and smirks. “You can touch me, you know. I bet it’s better than just looking.”
“Anywhere?”
“I'm practically offering myself up to you on a platter. Yes, Y/N. Everywhere’s fair game.”
You eye him for a little longer. He's not as big as he carried himself around to be.
As if sensing your unspoken realisation, he hurriedly explains, "I'm not completely hard yet.”
You nod, sympathetically. “Right, no I get it.”
“I’m serious, Y/N, stop looking at me like that.”
He grabs your hand and places it on his abs, ignoring your sudden squeak.
“You’re going to have to work to get me there.” He watches as you hesitate, his heartbeat quickening slightly under your touch.
“This seems less like teaching and more like you just wanting someone to get you off.”
“You’re learning.” Despite his teasing tone, he eases you closer to him. “Look, it’s not exactly rocket science and what I tell you probably won’t apply to everyone. But most guys are animals so if you can make them feel good then that’s all that matters. What's meta for most guys though is probably their neck and lower stomach. But you can start anywhere.”
His smirk falters just a tad when you explore, tentatively at first, palms sliding over his ribs and thumbs brushing his nipples until they pebble under your touch. Gojo’s breath hitches, but he keeps it together, murmuring encouragement. “I guess you could try there too. Fuck, this is kind of embarrassing. Can’t you be normal and go at my neck or something?”
“Your neck?” Your fingers slide up to touch him there but he laughs and gently brushes your hand away.
“Okay, don’t strangle me. When I say touch, I don't just mean with your fingers. You can touch your lips too, can’t you?”
You bite your lips and nod, wetting them quickly with your tongue. You lean in closer, your lips finding the pulse point of his neck. It's a quick peck at first, testing, and he just arches a brow, unimpressed.
Fine, challenge accepted.
You brace yourself on his shoulders and lick a slow stripe up the tendon, tasting salt and faint cologne which isn’t the best tasting thing in the world, so you nibble the skin. Gojo hums, head tilting to give you better access, and you dive in, sucking lightly, alternating with kisses that leave faint marks.
It’s heady, this rush of control. His bare chest radiates warmth against your arm, heavy breaths ghosting your ear as he lets you lead.
“Hungry, are you?” Gojo finds his footing against the absurd situation because if there’s one thing he knows, it’s receiving attention from pretty women. If he closes his eyes like so, focusing only on the cute licks against his neck, he can almost ignore the fact that it’s coming from you. “I'd be careful not to leave any marks. Girls get jealous easily, you know?”
You roll your eyes at his very unsexy comment. He's underestimating you, you’re sure he is, and you’re even more determined to prove him wrong.
You kiss down his neck, licking at the column of his neck, and when you find this soft patch of skin, pale under your lips and glimmering with a thin layer of sweat, you do what your instincts roar at you to do and bite him as he’s mid yapping.
“I never really let girls kiss me like this, so be grateful that I—ohfuck!”
Gojo’s reaction is immediate as a downright sinful moan escapes his pretty lips unchecked. His hands tighten in your hips, head dropping forward, panting as he catches his breath from the sudden sharp inhale.
You let go, licking at the mark left behind. “Oh, sorry. You don’t do marks, right?”
“That was…” He trails off, eyes dark as he holds you in his gaze. “Jesus, sweets, where did you even learn that kind of stuff?”
You shrug, letting him hold you back and feeling a little bit like a rabid animal. “It was just something I wanted to do. Was it bad? Did it hurt?”
“No, it was fine. Keep going just… use your hands a bit more too,” he hurries to add on, clearing his throat and loosening his hold on you. “It feels better if you use both your mouth and hands at the same time. Keep going, but don’t forget the rest of me.”
Finding no error in his words, you enthusiastically go back to kissing and sucking on his neck, tasting the salt of his sweat. Meanwhile, you slide your hands down his chest, marveling at how smooth he feels despite his muscle.
When you graze your finger tips between the medial line of his abs, you feel him shiver and you detach your lips from his neck to watch his eyes track your every move, hungry and unblinking.
“Atta girl,” he rasps, abs flexing under your palm and he shivers as you slide even further down, hand hovering his stomach. His cock visibly thickens in his boxers as you trace the ridges of his abs.“That’s it. Take your time, sweets. I'm not going anywhere.”
You never considered that Gojo would be so vocal during sex, not that this even counted as sex yet. If anything, that made you even more curious, wondering if he himself knew how much he was talking and how little any of it even meant. In case he didn’t, you didn’t dare talk in case it would break the spell.
Your fingers skim the waistband of his boxers and he sucks in a breath, voice dropping an octave.
“Fuck, yeah. That’s the spot.” The fabric tents fully now, his cock hard and straining, the tip outlined clearly. It's thicker than you expected, pulsing with need, and the sight sends a thrill straight to your core.
Gojo’s eyes flick between your hand and your face, flushed and focused. “See? told you it’d wake up. want to see all of it?”
You nod, eyes trained on his bulge.
He grins, taking your hands to hook your thumbs into the sides of his boxers. He helps you slightly though he lets you do most of the work. Emboldened, you tug the boxers down just enough to free his cock, watching it spring up, thicker now, veins prominent along the shaft, the head flushed and glistening with a bead of precum.
Your first words are, of course, very sexy.
“Oh damn.”
Gojo laughs breathlessly. For my own ego, I'm going to take that as a good thing.”
“It just doesn’t look how I expected it to.”
That makes him frown. He ducks his head to meet your gaze. “Hey. She has feelings too, you know. Don’t imply that she’s ugly, she’ll sag.”
“She?” It's so ridiculous you snort, the nervousness running away to let curiousity fuel your movements once again, fingers curling around his hot, velvety length. He's rock hard under your soft touch, precum slicking your palm as you pump him experimentally. Gojo groans low in his throat, head falling back against the couch.
“Shit, just like—ngh—that,” he grits out, voice wrecked. The sound hits you like a spark, raw and primal, making your thighs clench. “My—my dick has she/her pronouns. It’s 2026 now, get woke.”
Still looking at you, he takes your hand again, wrapping it around his shaft.
“Hold it properly. Feel how hot it is.”
He groans softly as you hold him, guiding your hand up and down in a slow stroke, pressing down where he’s sensitive just the way he likes it. “Squeeze gently and twist your wrist as you move.”
He demonstrates the twist motion, his large hand enveloping yours, precum beading at his tip from both the sight and feel of you.
He lets you go, leaning back on his elbows, enjoying the view of you jacking him off. “You’re a natural, keep going, just like that.”
His breathing becomes heavier, his abdomen tensing. He can’t help but buck slightly into your hand.
Despite his unattractive dirty talk, it doesn’t drive away the power you feel and it doesn’t take away from the sounds, the way his body trembles under your control. It's all so intoxicating, way better than any awkward fumble you’ve imagined with Geto late at night with your hands down your pants.
To shut him up, you squeeze a little tighter and he hisses, pulling you away.
“Slow down,” he pants, catching his breath. He closes his eyes for a moment before locking you in a fierce gaze. “Do you usually shove your finger inside when you’re dry?”
“What?”
“This is why lube exists, woman. God, my poor lady,” He looks up at you, eyes trailing down from your eyes to your lips.
“Please don’t refer to your dick as a lady.”
“I’ve gotten no complaints so far.” Gojo reaches up, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb, dragging it down slightly. “Have you ever spat on anyone?”
“Excuse me?” You look down at him as if he’s grown another head.
He lets out a strangled groan, hips bucking up under you. “Yeah, keep looking at me like that and spit on my dick. Give her the good old hawk tuah.”
Your grimace only grows and he bites his lip, the corners quirking up. “Please,” he whispers and you’ve lost.
The word hangs between you like a dare, his blue eyes locked on yours, all wide and pleading in a way that clashes hilariously with his usual attitude if the unsure quiver to his lips didn’t wreck you.
Gojo’s cock throbs in your loose grip, the head leaking more precum that drips down the shaft, making your fingers slick without even trying. You hesitate, face heating up at the sheer audacity, but the way his abs tense, the subtle roll of his hips begging for more, chips away at your resistance.
“Fine,” you mutter, rolling your eyes to mask the flutter in your stomach and you must have imagined the way he groans. “But just know I’m judging you the entire time.”
“Even better,” he moans.
You lean over him, one hand steadying on his thick thighs, firm muscle under smooth skin, and purse your lips as you spit on him. It’s awkward as hell, the glop of spit landing off-centre on the underside of his shaft, but you smear it around with your palm.
The glide turns smoother instantly, wet and filthy, your strokes picking up speed as his cock slicks up fully.
Gojo’s reaction is immediate, a deep, rumbling moan spills from his chest, his head knocking back against the couch with a thud, not that he notices. “Fuuuck, yes—that’s it, just like that.”
His hands fist the fabric of the couch on either side of his hips, knuckles white, like he’s fighting not to grab you and take over. But he doesn’t, he lets you work him, hips jerking up in shallow thrusts to meet your rhythm, the tip bumping your palm on every upstroke.
“Keep going, tighter… shit, you’re killing me here.”
The power rush hits you harder now, watching him come undone under your touch. His cock feels massive in your hand, thick and veined, pulsing hotly as you pump from base to tip, thumb swiping over the slit to collect more precum and spread it down. You can feel every ridge, every twitch, and it’s nothing like the vague fantasies you’d spun about Geto. This is real, messy, and way more intense. Your own arousal builds, thighs pressing together as you grind subtly against nothing, the heat between your legs turning insistent.
“Does it… feel good?” You ask, voice breathy and you slow your strokes just to tease, squeezing the base and watching in awe as a fresh bead of precum pearl at the head.
He cracks one eye open, gaze hazy and dark, lips parted in a pant. “Good? Sweets, don’t sell yourself short.”
A grin tugs at his mouth but it falters into a groan when you resume, faster now, the wet schlick of your hand echoing in the room causing you to squirm.
“Don’t stop,” he all but whines. “Gonna cum if you keep this up. Want me to, sweets? Want me to paint your hand or what?”
The crudeness should turn you off, but it doesn’t, it only amps up the thrill, making you bold. You nod, biting your lip as you lean closer, free hand bracing on his chest to feel his heart hammering.
“Yeah, do it. cum for me.”
Gojo’s control snaps like a rubber band. his moans pitch higher, body arching as his cock swells in your grip, veins bulging. “Fuck—fuck, can’t help it, I’m gonna—”
He bucks hard once, twice, and then he’s erupting, thick spurts of cum shooting from the tip to splatter your fingers, his stomach, even a streak across his abs. It's hot, sticky, rope after rope as you milk him through it, not knowing what else to do. You slow your strokes until he’s spent, twitching sensitively in your palm.
He slumps back, chest rising and falling like he ran a marathon, a lazy, disbelieving laugh bubbling out. He runs a hand down his face, groaning softly.
“I am…” He lets out another breathless laugh, head dropping back against the armrest of the couch. “So fucking washed. What the hell was that, sweets?”
You blink, a little dazed yourself. Your hand is still loosely wrapped around him, slick and messy, and only when his eyes flick down do you jolt and snatch your hand back like you’ve been burnt.
“I—I don’t know,” you mumble, gratefully accepting the tissue he hands you, awkwardly deciding to dab at his stomach and abs too, anywhere your eyes can safely land that isn’t his softening cock. “That was… hey, wait a minute. Shouldn’t i be asking you? What the hell was that spitting thing?”
He shrugs, your body moving with the motion as you remain on his lap. “I told you, there’s some things some guys like and some don’t. As a note of reference, maybe don’t spit on Suguru. You’ll kill his ego.”
He has the audacity to smirk at the thought considering the state of him, hair a mess, cheeks flushed, mouth pink and kiss-swollen from all the swearing and groaning.
“You're disgusting,” you accuse weakly, trying not to think about how he’d looked under you a few seconds ago, jaw slack, eyes glazed, like you’d wrung the soul out of him.
“Mmm.” His gaze drags over your face, down the line of your throat, lingering a beat too long at your chest before he drags it back up. “So, how are you feeling after all that?”
“Embarrassed,” you say immediately.
“But kinda turned on, too?” he guesses, just as fast.
Your mouth drops open. “I did not say that.”
“Don’t have to,” he says, maddening. “You’re still sitting on me, you know.”
You freeze. You're still straddling his lap, knees planted on either side of his thighs on the couch, hips pressed to his, fingers bunched at his stomach. You'd be so focused on that scrunched up look on his face when he came that you kind of forgot to be mortified about the position.
Now you remember.
“I was busy,” you mutter, shifting like you’re about to climb off.
His hands come up automatically, one at your waist, one braced at your hip, holding you there without quite pulling you back down. “Hey, hey. I didn't say you had to move.”
“But you’re all…” you wave a hand vaguely at his lap, face burning. “Post-nut clarity or whatever. You should be resting or something.”
“That’s hilarious, do you think I’m an old man?” He huffs a laugh. “If my stamina lasted one puny handjob I would never show my face anywhere. Hey, don’t glare at me like that. you know what that does to me. you glaring at me and spitting on my cock while you jerk me off—fuck.”
“Don't say it like that,” you hiss, heat flooding your chest. “You literally told me to.”
“And you did so good,” he croons. “Look at you, all flustered now. You were seconds away from calling me pathetic, you know.”
“How are you turning this on me? You’re the one that liked it,” you shoot back, shoulder tensing.
His fingers flex at your waist, like he’s remembering it. “Yeah. I really, really did.”
The way he says it sends a tiny shiver through you. You feel ridiculously aware of yourself suddenly, of your damp palms on his chest, of the way your thighs are pressed around him, of the restless thrum under your skin you’ve been trying not to notice since he first groaned for you.
You shift again, intending to put some space between you, and hiss as the movement drags you a little too firmly against him, sparking through the ache low in your belly.
You go very still and so does he.
His eyes flicker, dropping for a fraction of a second to the point where your hips meet his. You can feel the change in him, no longer wrecked and loose-limbed, but sharpened like he’s honing in on every tiny flinch.
“Oh,” he says softly. “Feeling something, sweets?”
“Don’t start,” you warn, feeling every urge to catapult yourself off his lap. His hand tightens on your waist, thumbs rubbing absent circles, maddeningly casual. “Can you let me go already?”
“But it’s not over yet, are you sure you want to miss the best part? If I said I wanted to make it your turn, would you say no?”
The question hangs between you, heavier than his usual teasing.
“This isn’t… about that.”
“Sure it is,” he whispers, lips curved into a wicked grin. “You wanna learn how to make a guy feel good right? Then you also need to know what you like. If you know what works for you, it’s easier to tell him what works for him.”
Has Gojo always been so reasonable?
“Besides,” he continues when you’re not rushing to sign up to his touch. “I’m being selfless here. You can’t seriously think I'd let you walk out of here without repaying the favour first, right?”
“Way to sound like a douche.” You swat at his chest, a weak attempt to appear levelheaded.
“How else am I supposed to say it?” He laughs softly, catching your wrist but not pushing it away, thumb stroking over your pulse. “I want to touch you. properly. Can I?”
Your stomach swoops.
“Just to know what it feels like?”
“Exactly.” His smile goes crooked at the edges. “Now you’re getting it.”
You stare at him, breathing shallow. Your heart is thudding way too fast. you’re hyperaware of your own body again, of the way your panties stick uncomfortably, of the restless ache that’s only been getting worse, of how easy it would be to fall into his tempting embrace.
“Hey, come back to me,” Gojo murmurs. “We don't have to do anything you don’t want. I promise I'm not a dick. So? What do you want, sweets?”
You look down at where his hands rest, big and warm on your hips, fingers flexing like he’s trying very hard to stay put.
You could say no, you know that. He'd let you hop off, probably make a dumb joke to break the tension, and the both of you can go back to pretending the constant physical touch is driving you up the wall. But you also know your legs are still a little unsteady, and that every time you shift you have to bite back a sound you really don’t want him to hear.
You swallow, hard.
“You have to listen,” you say finally. “If I say stop, you stop. and none of your stupid comments either.”
His expression sobers instantly, hands jumping a little at your hips. “Promise. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.”
“I’m telling you, when you say shit like that, everything goes back inside.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you want me quiet. So can I touch you or are you going to keep torturing us both?”
“You deserve the torture,” you grumble, then quieter, “But, yeah. okay.”
He hums. “Not good enough. Say it again?”
You bite back a complaint. “I want you to…touch me.”
It comes out barely more than a whisper, but it hits him like a truck. His eyes darken, lashes lowering as he sucks in a breath. One moment you’re straddling him, the next he’s sat up and turned you around so your back leans against his chest, his breath tickling your neck.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” he groans, hands sliding down to your stomach. His fingers play with the hem, nails barely grazing your bare skin. “Can I?”
You shiver, looking down to watch his hands with anticipation. Swallowing, you brace yourself and nod.
“Good girl,” he breathes.
His hand trails under your shirt, fingertips tracing nonsense shapes on your skin. He doesn’t go straight where you know you’re aching for him to go. Instead, he takes his time, mapping out the sensitive spots he finds, where your muscles jump when he squeezes, lowering his hand to where your breath stutters when he drags his knuckles along the inside of your thigh.
“You're wound so tight,” he murmurs, half to himself. “Relax for me, Y/N.”
“Shut up and stop teasing,” you hiss, and then gasp when his hand finally slips higher, brushing over the edge of your waistband.
“Is that a no?” He asks instantly, stilling.
]You want to throttle him. “I’m just… nervous.”
“Of course you are,” he says, voice going stupidly soft in your ear, hands playing with the fabric. “The first time’s always weird. But it doesn’t have to be bad-weird.”
He slowly slips his hand under the band, feeling you go still.
“Hey.” He presses his lips to your hair, mumbling soft words of praise. “You're okay, you’re doing good. Just breathe for me.”
You do, albeit shakily, his fingertips brushing the damp centre of your panties.
“You’re already… Jesus," he says quickly. “I really did a number on you, huh? And without even touching you, too.”
“If you don’t shut up, I'm leaving,” you threaten weakly.
He chuckles, guiding your attention away. Gojo slides your shorts down so you can see exactly where his fingers press against, a rush of heat flooding your cheeks at the sight of his thick fingers prodding against the backdrop of the panties you chose out this morning. If you knew something like this would happen, you would have worn something else.
Gojo thankfully doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he slowly explores, no sudden movements, no overwhelming pressure, just the occasional slide against your clit.
“Okay?” he asks, and you realise you’ve gone silent, holding your breath again.
“Yeah,” you gasp. “Just feel different than—nevermind.”
“Different good?” He prompts, thumb pressing down on your clit and you jolt, an audible inhale escaping you.
You feel his arms tighten around you.
“Oh, there we go,” he mutters, sounding ridiculously pleased with himself. “That got you.”
You don’t dignify that with an answer, not that you have the capacity to because the next moment, he’s moving his fingers with practiced purpose. His thumb circles your swollen clit through the damp fabric, the barrier muffling any sharp pleasure though it helps you wrap your head around the sensation.
When you start lifting your hips to meet his touch, he knows he has you where he wants you.
With his other fingers, he slowly slides your panties to the sides and touches you directly. The effect is immediate, your eyes snap down to watch, body tensing, want like you’ve never known it before shocking you.
The sight of your own arousal makes you wetter and he abandons his touch to touch you directly.
“Look at that,” he coos in your ear, voice breathy with awe and smug satisfaction. “Here you were acting like you wanted to leave when you’re this wet. Thought I wouldn't know, sweets? That I couldn't see you eye my dick all hungry like that?”
He emphasises his words with a harsh pinch of your clit and your head falls back to rest on his shoulders with a filthy moan ripped from your throat, raw and unprocessed.
Gojo takes the chance to kiss your neck.
You should hit him for his words, you really should. But instead, your hand flies up to his forearm, nails digging in when he slides a finger to circle your entrance and the world briefly whites out.
He groans quietly, like your reaction is doing something to him. “That’s—fuck, you’re so cute. Do that again.”
“Don’t tease,” you say again, voice barely there and brain too mushy to think of something original.
And like he knows, Gojo slowly slides a finger into your pussy and the pressure temporarily pushes out all of the pleasure. But then his free hand is playing with your clit and he’s telling you how good you are and how pretty you sound, and it comes back.
He thrusts that finger in and out slowly, letting you adjust to the intrusion and when you’re sighing soft moans and broken demands again, he curls it and doesn’t stop moving. He could easily overpower you, could pin you down and take, take, take, but he doesn’t. Every time you tense like you might pull away, he backs off just enough, murmuring at your ear, though by the time you’re close you haven’t panicked in a while.
He’s the one breathing hard when you start to chase your peak, like he’s the one being touched.
You’re writhing now, his arms having to tighten around you to keep you still as he slides another finger inside.
“That’s it,” he whispers, panting when your thighs clamp around his hand, head tipped back on his shoulders and eyes starting to roll back. “There you go. I've got you. Let go for me, yeah? Doing so good for me, sweets.”
“S-Satoru,” you choke out, the name ripped from somewhere deep.
His whole body jolts behind you and you feel a twitch near your ass.
“Oh, fuck,” he groans, like you’ve done something filthy. “Say my name like that again, I swear to god—”
You don’t because suddenly, you’re gone.
His fingers pressed against the spongy spot inside, his thumb circling your clit, and suddenly everything tightens then snaps and you’re tumbling, shaking around the steady anchor of his hand and his arm and his voice in your ear. He doesn’t speed up, letting you ride your orgasm on his hand, mumbling sweet nothings against your sweaty neck.
It’s messy and overwhelming and a little scary for a second, then his palm is flat over your lower stomach, grounding you as waves of sensation roll through your body. His other hand finally gentles and you can breathe again.
When you finally slump back against him boneless, the room feels dimmer. your chest heaves, skin prickling with aftershocks that he guides you through.
He eases his hand away and wipes it on his pants, keeping you steady on his lap.
“Hey,” he says softly, lips brushing your hairline. “You still with me?”
You nod, or at least you try to. “I think so.”
“Yeah?” He presses, smiling against your skin.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” he exhales like he’s been holding his breath with you. “You did amazing, sweets.”
“You're making me sound like a dog.”
“Well, you were very obedient,” he says lightly, then winces. “Okay, that sounded kinda bad.”
He huffs a quiet laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest where you’re still half-leaning against him. One of his hands comes up, hovering for a second like he isn’t sure if touching you again is allowed, then settles gently at your side.
You catch your breath, stealing a glance. His hair is a mess, cheeks flushed, eyes still blown wide but there’s something softer around the edges, so different from his usual cocky composure that it does something strange to your chest.
“You're the worst,” you mumble, just to say something.
“Oh?” his brows lift. “You seemed pretty satisfied with the lesson.”
You keep your mouth shut because there is absolutely no winning that argument.
Silence falls, not heavy nor awkward, but certainly unfamiliar. Without the distraction of movement or adrenaline, your mind starts spinning into the consequences of your actions.
And the fact that you’re still sitting between his thighs.
You stiffen and he notices immediately.
“Uh. Do you… want to—”
“Yes,” you say at the exact same time he says, “We should probably—”
You both stop, voice overlapping as you tell each other to continue then stop again. It’s funny if not awkward and you laugh, startled and breathless.
“Okay,” he says, hands lifting slightly in surrender. “You first.”
“No, you go,” you insist, scrambling upright a little too fast. The room tilts for half a second and you grab his thigh to steady yourself.
His hands hover again, then settle at your waist just in case.
“Careful,” he murmurs. “You’re still a little… y’know?”
You straighten and stand away from the couch, legs wobbling in a way you pretend not to notice. The cool air hits your skin and reality comes rushing back in a tidal wave of embarrassment.
Your skirt rests on your thighs but they’re crumpled, and your hair is surely a mess.
Gojo watches, biting his lip hard enough to leave teeth marks. He stands too, running a hand through his hair, suddenly looking almost shy as he grabs his discarded shirt and pulls it back on.
For a moment, neither of you know where to look.
You fixate on a crack in the wall and he studies the floor.
“Do you, uh… want me to walk you back?”
The normalcy of the question feels surreal.
“I’m fine with walking,” you say quickly. “The weather’s nice so.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Fresh air. Definitely.”
You grab your bag with fumbling hands, nearly knocking it off the couch in the process. He catches it before it hits the floor, fingers brushing yours again as he hands it over.
Neither of you pull away immediately. Then, you both do at the same time.
“Right,” you say.
“Right,” he echoes.
He opens the door for you, peeking into the hallway first before gesturing.
“You sure you don’t want me to walk you back?”
You almost cry at the visual of a way out. “No, no, I'm fine. It’s not too far anyway.”
Gojo studies your face like he’s trying to decide whether to argue or not. For once, he doesn’t look like he’s in on some big secret. He just looks uncertain.
“If you say so,” he mutters, stepping aside.
You slip past him into the hallway, letting out a big sigh of relief when you hear the door close gently behind you with a soft click. Looking over your shoulder, you see Gojo follow you out anyway.
Your feet slow. “You don’t have to, I'm really okay.”
“I’m not,” he says quickly, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m just heading in the same direction. That's all. What a coincidence?”
“Uh-huh.”
The staircase is only a few doors down, but the short walk stretches, each step heavy with things unsaid. You can hear voices downstairs, life continuing on, oblivious.
At the top of the stairwell, you stop.
“Are we still going the same way?”
He shakes his head.
“I’ll see you around,” you settle on when the silence stretches.
“See you, Y/N.”
You take one step down, then another. After a third, you glance back.
Gojo is still there, watching. your chest does something uncomfortable as he waits.
“Goodnight, Satoru,” you say softly.
He blinks, like the name catches him off guard every time. Then he smiles, small but warm.
“Night, sweets.”
When you reach the bottom and push out into the night air, it feels shockingly cool against your overheated skin. The campus is quiet, streetlights painting everything gold and shadowed, the distant sound of traffic humming like white noise.
You walk faster than necessary because if you slow down, the thoughts will quickly flood in. And if you start thinking, you might realise that somewhere between asking him for help and leaving his room tonight, something has gone very, very wrong.
You’re not sure why you care so much.
You tell yourself it’s because Geto will be there, because this is a chance to make a real impression, because this is what all of it has been building toward. But as you stand in front of your mirror, turning this way and that, smoothing imaginary wrinkles, adjusting your hair for the third time, checking your reflection from angles no one in real life would ever see, you realise this isn’t normal.
You’ve never put this much thought into a “casual” outing before.
Not the outfit, carefully balanced between cute and effortless, like you didn’t spend forty minutes deciding between two nearly identical tops just for the jersey to cover it anyway. Not the makeup, soft enough to look natural, deliberate enough to feel like armor. Not the way your stomach flips every time you picture stepping into the arena.
You know deep down this isn’t about Geto. That thought alone makes your chest feel tight.
You grab your purse before you can overthink it further and leave.
When you walk into the arena, the roar of the crowd hits you like a physical force, loud and electric, buzzing with anticipation and cheer. It bleeds through the concrete walls, through your bones, and through the floor beneath your shoes.
The game hasn’t officially started yet, you made sure to come before then, but the energy is already at a fever pitch.
Your eyes sweep the rink automatically, searching. And you spot him immediately.
Gojo, in his navy and white jersey, skates across the ice like it belongs to him, like the rink exists solely to accommodate his momentum. It doesn't seem to matter that his helmet obscures most of his face, you’d recognise him anywhere. the easy confidence in the way he moves, the loose, effortless posture, the casual speed that looks like he isn’t even trying—it’s unmistakable.
His hair, damp under his helmet, peeks out in soft white tufts. His cheeks are slightly flushed from exertion, breath fogging faintly in the cold air as he glides past teammates, exchanging easy shoves and taps of sticks. He's the easiest person in the world to look at and the hardest to look away from.
He glances up towards the stands during warm-ups, scanning lazily, and your heart stutters. You freeze, suddenly aware of yourself, of the crowd, of how ridiculous it is to hope he’ll notice you among hundreds of people wearing the same colours.
I mean, all these people? All wearing the team jersey? And you wouldn’t call yourself beautiful, not in the kind of way that makes someone stand out across a packed arena, and certainly not in a way that draws eyes automatically, not—
Gojo turns a little more. and then his eyes meet yours.
The jolt is instantaneous, sharp and electric, like touching a live wire. Your breath catches, lungs forgetting their purpose entirely as a stupid, bright grin spreads across his face.
A strange warmth floods your chest, blooming outward until it feels too big to contain. You bite your lip, trying and failing, to suppress your own giddy smile as you tug lightly at the hem of your jersey, lifting it just enough to show the number at the front and point at it.
06.
If it's even possible, his grin widens. He spins around without hesitation, and easily mind you, skating backward for a few seconds just to show off the back of his own jersey, jabbing a glove thumb at the matching number with pride.
Heat rushes to your face.
It's ridiculous, childish even, but your heart is pounding and the warmth in your chest swells until it’s almost overwhelming.
When warm-ups end, he lifts his stick in your direction in one last, unmistakable acknowledgement before skating toward the bench, where his teammates swarm him instantly. One of them hooks an arm around his neck, dragging him down while another plays bongos on his helmet, elbows digging into his ribs.
From this distance you can’t hear what they’re saying, but you don’t need to. His expression gives everything away, the wide grin and mock protests, and the way he shoves them back half-heartedly while still laughing.
Someone whistles, another bumps his shoulder and one even points toward the stands, toward you. Your stomach flips.
“Y/N?”
You start, tearing your eyes away as if caught doing something incriminating. Geto stands beside you, already holding two drinks, his expression warm and easy.
“Hey,” he says, offering you one. “You made it. I found seats over here, it’s a pretty good view, if I don’t say so myself. We should head over before the game starts.”
You take the cup automatically, fingers brushing his. “Thanks!”
He smiles, guiding you through the rows of people with gentle awareness, making space and steadying you when someone brushes past too close. It's thoughtful and careful and exactly the kind of thing that made you fall for him in the first place.
Once seated, conversation comes easily to him. It’s all polite small talk and soft jokes, quiet observations about the team and season. He fills in the silence like Gojo had predicted, never letting it become uncomfortable. He does all the right things that you could almost tick them off a list. He laughs at your comments like they’re genuinely funny and asks questions that make it clear he’s paying attention.
It should be perfect, it should be everything you’ve ever wanted.
And yet, your eyes drift back to the rink, to the flashes of navy and white.
To the tall figure leaning against the boards, helmet off now, shaking his hair as he listens to a coach, nodding absentmindedly while his gaze flicks upward.
Your pulse jumps when his eyes land on you again. Except this time he doesn’t grin. It might be your imagination but he seemingly looks to Geto beside you, then back, just watching.
You force yourself to look back at Geto, nodding at something he just said, hoping your smile looks natural and not strained.
BUZZWORD
The game starts fast.
Faster than you expected, faster than anything you’ve watched on TV, faster than seems physically possible for men balancing on thin blades over frozen water. The pluck drops and suddenly the rink explodes with motion, bodies colliding, sticks clashing, skates carving violent crescents into the ice.
You lost track of the puck almost immediately.
Geto leans closer, voice raised just enough to carry over the roar of the crowd. “Watch Satoru, he plays center so he’ll usually be in there.”
Your eyes find him easily.
He moves differently from everyone else, you see, loose, flashier, or maybe that’s just you. No, you reject that notion as he accelerates in bursts, gliding between players with impossible precision, stick tapping the ice impatiently when he doesn’t have the puck.
Every time he skates past your side of the rink, your chest tightens and your throat hurts a little more as you try to cheer louder.
The first goal goes to the other team.
Your side of the arena groans as one, a wave of disappointment that rattles through the stands. You feel it too, a sinking drop in your stomach, though you don’t fully understand the play that led to it.
Gojo slams his stick once against the ice in frustration, then shoves off hard, jaw set.
Geto doesn’t seem worried. “They’ll bounce back. Satoru is the best they have, after all.”
Just like he predicted, they do. Midway through the second period, one of Gojo’s teammates manages to slip the puck past the goalie, and the building detonates. People surge to their feet to cheer and you find yourself in that crowd, cheering without thinking, adrenaline crackling through your veins like you personally contributed.
On the ice, Gojo grabs the scorer by the shoulders and shakes him, helmet bumping into helmet, grin blinding even through the cage.
It’s a tie game until it’s not. Another goal to the opposing side which Gojo’s team equalising moments after. Again and again, a tense back and forth that even has Geto inhaling sharply at moments.
By the third period, your nails are dug into the flimsy paper cup in your hand, ice long melted into a yucky watered down version of whatever was in the drink. You barely notice when Geto takes it from you and sets it aside so you don’t crush it completely.
The scoreboard reads 3-3 and the clock tells you there’s two minutes left.
The noise is deafening now, frantic and desperate, every movement on the ice met with gasps or shouts.
Gojo has long since lost the playful edge from earlier. He circles near centre ice, knees bent, weight forward, eyes tracking the puck like it’s the only thing that exists in the world. A defender tries to box him out and he shrugs him off with a brutal shoulder check that makes the crowd howl.
The puck slides loose along the boards, ricocheting off a tangle of skates and sticks like it has a mind of its own. Someone on Gojo’s team snatches it first and fires it forward, a risky pass that slides clean across open ice, and towards him.
Gojo receives it in stride, blade cushioning the impact with effortless control. He doesn’t even glance down. his head is already up, scanning his way forward. A defender lunges for him and he slips past with a sharp pivot, hips twisting, edges biting deep into the ice.
You’re on your feet before you realise you’ve moved.
“Go—!” you scream and like a domino effect, people around you start to cheer.
Gojo fakes a left. The goalie commits.
He snaps right, dragging the puck across his body in one powerful motion, forcing the goalie to witness the outplay. And then he flicks his wrist and a sharp crack echoes across the rink.
The puck lifts, a black blur slicing through air, threading the narrowest gap between glove and shoulder, and slams into the back of the net.
For half a heartbeat, there is silence. Then the buzzer screams and the crowd erupts.
Sound crashes over you in a tidal wave, screaming, stomping, clapping, the metallic rattle of the stands shaking under hundreds of pounding feet. You’re shouting too, throat tearing with it, hands flying to your mouth before dropping again because you need them free to clap and wave, anything to release all this energy exploding out of you.
Down on the ice, Gojo throws his head back and roars, pure exhilaration bursting out of him. His teammates collide with him seconds later, swarming him in a pile of navy and white, shoving his helmet and grabbing his shoulders, almost knocking him over in their celebration.
He's laughing.
Even through the cage, from the distance, you can see it, the wild brightness in his eyes and the way his chest heaves with adrenaline.
They won.
They actually won.
You’re bouncing on your toes without realising, hands clasped in front of your mouth.
Gojo breaks free from the pile just enough to turn and look up into the stands. It's easier finding you this time around when he knows where to look.
His whole face lights up, grin splitting wide and unrestrained, so bright it feels like it could blind you, he lifts his stick and points it straight at you then thumps it once against the ice in a triumphant salute.
Your stomach swoops violently.
You laugh, breathless and giddy, lifting both hands to wave back like an idiot. Your body is already leaning forward, feet shifting as instinct screams for you to move. To go down there, to be closer, to meet him at the glass while he’s still glowing with victory looking as beautiful as you’ve ever seen him, so alive that it radiates off him in waves.
You want to throw your arms around his neck.
You want to tell him that was incredible.
You want—
“Y/N?”
Geto’s voice cuts gently through the chaos, close to your ear.
You blink, tearing your gaze away from the ice to find him watching you with a small, amused smile.
“That was intense,” he says, laughter in his voice. “I forgot how crazy these games get at the end. Makes you glad you came, right?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, though it comes out shaky and raw from all the cheering. “Yeah it was. Definitely.”
Your eyes flick down despite yourself and find Gojo still looking up, smile dimmed.
Geto gestures toward the aisle. “If we leave now, we can beat the post-game crowd. The bookstore’s only a short walk away anyway. We can find Satoru after he comes out.”
The words land heavy in your chest. How could you forget? There was a plan in action, the reason why you came, the person you’re supposed to be focusing on.
“Right,” you say, though your voice sounds far away even to your own ears.
On the ice, Gojo’s teammates are tugging him toward the bench, shouting in his ear and shoving him here and there. He goes easily enough, though not without one last glance at you. He tilts his chin, a silent question in your eyes, clear despite the distance.
Are you going?
Your fingers curl into fists at your side.
“Ready?” Geto asks softly.
You swallow. “... yeah.”
But as you turn to follow him up the aisle, the roar of the arena swelling behind you, you can’t shake that you’ve made the wrong decision. You feel it, that strange, electric thread stretching thinner and thinner behind you as the tunnel swallows Gojo whole.
BUZZWORD
It should be fun.
Geto is easy to talk to, he’s polite, thoughtful and gentle, and all the right things. You trail behind him between the shelves as he talks about a book he likes, or some theory he discovered that explains so much and makes so much sense.
You try, you really do. You nod your head and attempt to store that information away.
But everything just doesn’t feel right. It's hard to store that information away when your head is full of that look Gojo had given you, the way his white hair had stuck out from under his helmet, damp from the effort and glory of winning, eyes sparkling under the stadium lights, the way he had lifted his stick to point at you.
Geto is kind. But your tastes don’t match. Your jokes land in different places. He's nice, and you do enjoy his conversation. But not in the same way you had enjoyed Gojo’s company that day in the cafe.
You don’t feel nervous. You don’t feel excited. Honestly, you just feel like pretending.
And as if the universe is screaming at you about something just beyond your grasp, when you reach for the same book, your fingers don’t brush. And you don’t want them to.
Geto’s phone buzzes when he’s in the middle of explaining some theories from this guy called Slavoj Zizek? He winces at whatever he reads.
“Sorry,” he starts, sounding genuinely apologetic. “I need to head out. But hey, here–” He pulls a paperback off the shelf and hands it to you. “This is the one I was talking about. I think you’ll like it.”
you accept it automatically. “Thanks,” you say, and then he’s waving and gone the next moment, door swinging behind him.
For a while, you wander the bookstore in an attempt to rationalise the complex emotions warring inside you. Geto is your crush. You know this. And yet, it all feels so superficial. Gojo had been right, there was nothing personal about the things you liked about him to explain the crush.
You stand in the quiet of the aisle, holding a book you frankly don’t care about, surrounded by a silence that feels like the wrong choice made tangible long after the last customer walks out. Heavy rain falls outside, pelting against the roof of the store, a steady white noise that backgrounds your thoughts.
When the bookstore begins to close, you’re ushered outside. You swear as you’re suddenly caught in the harsh weather and through the heavy sheets of rain, there looks to be no other store open. Hastily, you run out in the rain to find some place where you can get cover over your head. Finally, you see a small awning from a closed shop.
You run under the awning, hugging your arms to your chest as you wait out the storm, feeling stupidly alone and stupidly unsure why you’re this upset. This is what you wanted right? But the part of your heart that has always known the truth traitorously voices the thoughts you’ve been pushing down all this time.
Gojo.
Through the sheets of heavy rain, someone is running towards you. Tall, white hair, still in his jersey, his hair now damp (read: soaked) with rain water rather than sweat.
He skids under the awning, breathless, terribly drenched, an unopened umbrella in one hand.
“What the hell,” he says immediately, voice sharp with concern and frustration. “Are you trying to get pneumonia? Why didn’t you go home? Didn’t you check the weather? It clearly said it was going to rain today!”
You blink, gaping at his sudden presence. “What are you, no, why are you here? Shouldn’t you be celebrating?”
He snorts. “Yeah, I was. Until Suguru texted. Said he left you at the bookstore and for me to pick you up. Seriously, you didn’t even bring an umbrella?”
The situation finally catches up to you and you frantically gesture to his own umbrella. “How can you lecture me when you just ran out all the way here without opening your umbrella? it’s literally in your hands, all you had to do was open it!”
“Like i had the time to! My legs are literally burning from the game and you made me run all this way out to save you!”
“I never asked you to!”
“Well, I had to!” He steps closer, finally freeing himself from the rain completely. His presence fills up the cramped space under the awning and you catch a whiff of cedar and sweat. “I couldn’t just let you die out here in the cold!”
Speechless, you open and close your mouth like an idiot. Finally, you manage to ask, “How did you even know I was out here?”
“Weren’t you listening? I told you Suguru told me he ditched you!”
At Geto’s name, your face falls. Ah, right. your little moral dilemma about Geto.
Gojo also calms down a little, his chest heaving a little slower as he uses the silence to catch his breath. his eyes scan your expression, picking up on the way you bite your lip, eyes looking away.
“Hey,” he says, voice soft though still strained. “You okay?”
Your throat tightens. “I guess? I don't know. Look, sorry. I appreciate you coming.”
“Don't give me that. Just don’t. You’ve told me every embarrassing thing about yourself when you outed that you, you know, like Suguru. Don’t hide something from me now. Are you upset that he left?” His hand comes out to wipe water off your cheek. “Don't cry.”
You scrunch up your face in mild disgust. “I’m not? That's literally just rain water.”
“Oh. So you're okay?”
You inhale and let it out slowly. Were you okay? You shouldn’t be, not if Geto was your crush and he just ditched you. And yet, under Satoru’s shadow as he stands in front of you, blocking the rain, brows furrowed and lips pressed tight as he looks you over in concern, you find yourself feeling okay. More than okay.
“Why do you even like him?” He asks, quietly, a question that would have easily been lost to the rain if you weren’t hanging off his every word.
“I told you,” you start, just as quiet. “He saved me that one time.”
“Yeah?” He opens the umbrella with one hand, and holds your hand in the other, gently guiding you out from under the awning. Rain hits heavy against the fabric and he holds you close to keep you out from the storm, your chest grazing his. “He saved you that day in the rain, did he?”
You swallow. “Yeah.”
“Just like this?”
Mutely, you nod. In his arms, you barely notice the slight chill.
Gojo searches your eyes for something. He exhales, long and uneven, like he’s been holding this in for longer than he’s willing to admit. And yet, he doesn’t shy away, doesn’t tear his gaze away from yours, just keeps holding the umbrella over your head, tilted ever so slightly in your direction such that you’re completely covered.
“That day,” he says, quiet but steady, “When you got caught in the rain after that stupid orientation thing? Suguru wasn’t on campus. He went back home for a month before the semester started and didn’t come back until the second week. I was the one that found you.”
Your breath falters. “What? But he… he gave me his hoodie. His name was on the tag.”
“Yeah,” Satoru laughs, a single disbelieving puff. “I was wearing his hoodie. He wasn’t at the dorms so I stole some of his clothes to wear. It’s whatever, he steals some of mine sometimes. The point is, I was the one that helped you.”
For a moment, you stop breathing entirely. The rain pours around the two of you, a curtain of noise, but it’s silent under the umbrella.
You’ve never seen Gojo so nervous. Definitely not before the big game earlier, not on any of the practice dates, never when he talks to a group of people. Between the two of you, nervousness came more naturally to you. And yet, standing before you vulnerable, wet lashes stuck together, cheeks flushed from running and is that a faint bruise forming on his jaw? He looks nervous and it’s a sight that sends warmth all over your face.
His eyes are unbearably soft as he waits for your verdict.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice sounds too small.
“Because you thought it was Suguru. Because you liked him. And back then, I didn't realise that I wanted you to know it was me.”
Your heart thuds, something a little more daring saying the next few words for you. “And now?”
This moment was perfect. The two of you had been slowly closing that small gap of distance, eyes seeing nothing but each other and suddenly all those rom coms and kdramas come to mind. All those scenes of first kisses (forgetting the practices because those didn’t include real romance), all those late night conversations with Shoko about what it’s like, they all come and leave your brain.
But instead of leaning in and sealing the deal, Gojo’s entire body suddenly stiffens. His arm around you loosens, placing more distance between the two of you.
What the hell?
His gaze drops a little further before coming back up with a discipline that can only come from reciting the digimon opening theme over and over in his head. “Now I'm trying really, really hard not to stare at you.”
Curious, you look down to your soaked shirt where the fabric clings painfully close, embarrassingly sheer. It only serves to emphasise the lines of your bra and though you can’t really see anything, Gojo’s face is flushed pink not just from exertion, and his jaw is tight.
“Satoru–”
“my place,” he blurts. “we should, uh, get you warmed up. Your shirt is literally see-through and if I have to keep pretending I don't notice, I'm going to walk myself right into traffic.”
“That is so dramatic.” The beginnings of a smile causes the corner of your lips to quiver upwards at his flustered state.
“i’m dramatic,” he insists, voice strained, still not looking. “now come on. I still don’t want you catching pneumonia out here and Sig Kap is literally right near the gate. We can keep talking there when you don’t look like a puppy left out in the rain.”
“Says you.” You eye his white hair plastered to his forehead and smile, reaching up to move a few clinging strands from his eyes. “But okay. I’d like that a lot.”
Unfortunately, the gesture makes him look back down at you, inevitably making him catch an eyeful of your chest. He closes his eyes. “Let's just go before I give you this umbrella and walk onto the road.”
You laugh a little. “Geez, you really are dramatic.”
He walks you to Sig Kap, refusing to stand fully under the umbrella. When you try to grab his arm and pull him under, he only launches into a talk about being a feminist and how chivalry isn’t dead and how much he hates periods and loves matcha. You laugh and he smiles down at you before looking away. Seriously, he needs to get over that.
At the door outside the house, Gojo stops you.
“Here.” he hands you the umbrella, fingers brushing yours, before reaching down to take his jersey off. You instinctively blush and look away, but considering your state of undress it would only be fair if you stole a glance. So you peek at him from the corner of your eyes.
You only manage to look just below his abs when something warm and slightly damp flops over your head.
“Hey!”
He takes the umbrella back from you, standing in front of you and covering your back with the umbrella.. “Put that on before we head inside. Take your wet jersey off, hurry.”
Feeling warm despite the rain, you hastily pull off your soaked top, making sure he’s looking politely away, and throw his jersey on. It’s still damp but not as drenched as your own. Looking down, it falls past your skirt and just above your knees.
“You’re going to walk in shirtless?”
“Better than you walking in looking like that.” He doesn’t give you a moment to think about his words. “Come on, you’re going to catch a cold.”
He leads you to the now familiar front door and when it opens before Gojo can even touch the doorknob, you understand the reasoning of his actions.
“Dude!” Hikari cheers, wrapping an arm round Gojo’s shoulders and eagerly pulling him in despite his grunt of protest. “Congrats on the win, man!”
Hikari quickly notices your presence.
“Oh. So you’re already celebrating, huh?”
Gojo brushes past him, his hand holding tours to guide a path through the sweaty frat boys. “Shut it, Hikari. Is Sukuna in?”
“Nah. The whole floor’s gone.” Hikari answers, raising his voice as Gojo quickly places distance between him and you.
When the door of his room closes behind you both, he turns and pulls you in, his hand falling down on your hips, pulling you close. You both look like wet dogs but you couldn’t care less.
“Sorry about them,” he mumbles against your hair.
“It’s fine,” you pause. “Who's sukuna?”
“The guy in the room next to mine.”
“Oh.”
He hesitates, searching your eyes in the dark of his room. The storm rages on beyond his window, rain entering through a slightly ajar window, but neither of you make the responsible move to close it. Instead, you find yourself pressing up against him, hoping for more.
“Sweets,” he says, his voice low. “Please don’t tell me this is still practice.”
“It’s not.”
He takes a deep breath in. “You piss me off. You’re annoying, and insistent, and you always get what you want.”
You frown a little. “Hold on, I thought this was going a different way.”
He shushes you by placing a finger against your lips. “You never listen to me and you never act how I think you will. You’re definitely not normal and your thoughts are all weird and messed up. But you’re always in my head and you have the prettiest smile and the softest voice and when you tell me to shut up I want to drop to my knees and lick your feet.”
“Okay, it’s definitely getting weird now.”
“I think I’m seriously doomed,” he whispers despite your protests. “Because I bought that coffee you gave me months ago and I still drank it even though I hated how it tasted. And I haven’t been able to get it up without thinking about you and those pretty lips.”
“Now I see why you don’t do relationships.”
Gojo chuckles, eyes unbearingly soft. “I think I’m in love with you, Y/N. You’re all I can think about.”
You let out a slow exhale.
This was not how you imagined any of this. That day when you sat down with Shoko to plan a devious scheme to get with Geto, you naturally assumed it would end with him by your side, or with a crippling inability to reassimilate with society.
Never in a million years did you think you’d be here, in Gojo’s enormous room inside a frat house, him hanging off your every word.
But thinking on it now, there’s nothing you want to change in your plan.
“I think I’m in love with you too.” You say just as quietly, a smile playing on your lips.
“Really?” If he had dog ears, they would have surely perked up. “Because I was lying, I definitely don’t just think that.”
“Woah, let’s calm down a little.”
He chuckles, breath misting your face.
His thumbs rub circles and you shiver at the faint sensation.
“Cold?”
You bite the lip and nod. Now that you’ve confessed, the forbidden desire building up in your core no longer feels like something you need to hide. Instead, you embrace it, and you let Gojo see the change in your eyes.
He nods back, looking down at his jersey on you.
“You should probably take this off or you’ll get sick.”
You grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it over your head, leaving you in just your bra. You mentally fist bump your past self for overthinking your attire earlier that morning and throwing on a matching set.
His pupils dilate as he looks at you, eyes lingering on the delicate lace.
“Am I moving too fast?” He whispers, breath misting your ear as he leans in.
You rapidly shake your head, heart pounding in your chest. The air between you crackles with tension, the rain pattering against the window like a distant drumbeat.
He sighs, a low, relieved sound that vibrates through his chest. “Good. C’mere.”
He backs you up against the door, the wood cool against your bare back. His hands slide up your sides as he traps you. The guise of getting you out of wet clothes feels like a thin excuse now, but you don’t mind, your own hands already tugging at his waistband, eager to feel more of him.
Gojo’s lips crash into yours, hungry and demanding, his tongue sweeping in to claim your mouth. You kiss back just as fiercely, fingers digging into his shoulders as you push against him, guiding him backward step by step. He stumbles slightly, surprised by your assertiveness, but a smirk tugs at his lips against yours.
He falls onto the couch with a soft thud, pulling you down on top of him. You straddle his lap, only because it’s the only position you’ve had experience with thus far, and the friction of his hardening cock against your core sends sparks through your body. Your mouths meet again in a heated makeout, tongues tangling, breaths mingling in short, desperate gasps.
His hands roam your back, unhooking your bra with practiced ease, letting it fall away. You arch into him, pressing your bare breasts against his chest, nipples hardening from the contact.
“Fuck, you’re so hot like this,” he growls, nipping at your lower lip. “Where were you hiding all of this, hm?”
You shiver, fingers digging into his shirt. “You like it when I tell you what to do, don’t you? Big bad frat boy, already so hard because a girl’s got you pinned.”
He groans, hands gripping your ass to grind you against him. “Keep talking like that, and I'll show you who’s really in control.”
But you don’t stop. Instead, you push him back further into the cushions and trail your lips down his jaw, his neck, biting lightly to mark him. He lets you, for now, his breath hitching.
His eyes look down your body, hands feeling the softness of your skin before resting at the waistband of your cute, little skirt. He smirks and before you know it, you’re torn from his neck because he flips you onto your back in one swift move, pinning your wrists above your head.
“My turn,” he purrs, voice rough.
You try to wriggle free. “What are you doing?”
“You've always had a thing against my tongue, haven’t you?”
“That was weeks ago, I don't—wait a minute!” Your hands find his head, trying to push him back up but he refuses, settling properly between your legs and lowering.
“Relax.” He turns his head and kisses your palm, eyes on yours. “I'll make you feel good. I always do, don't I?”
You hesitate, your arms losing their strength as the tension eases from your body. He watches you carefully, his gaze soft yet intense, making sure you’re okay before he moves. With a gentle nod from you, he lifts the edge of your skirt and flips it up onto your stomach, groaning low at the sight of the damp spot on your panties.
“So cute,” he hums, his free hand sliding between your legs to rub at the numb poking out through the fabric. “This little clit’s begging for attention.”
You let out a startled gasp, hips bucking up involuntarily at the sudden touch. It’s all still so new, the sparks of pleasure shooting through you like electricity.
“You want my mouth on this pretty pussy, don’t you?” He murmurs, lowering to mouth against your panties.
His warm breath seeps through the thin material, and the flat of his tongue presses against you, exploring with teasing pressure that’s not quite enough to satisfy the ache building inside.
You jolt again, the sensation overwhelming, back bowing slightly as if to instinctively pull away. He doesn’t let you go far, his hand on your thigh tightening to pull you back against his mouth.
“I know, I know,” he coos against you. “It's too much, isn’t it?”
You whimper, looking down and feeling a fresh surge of heat when you meet eyes with him.
“That’s it, just feel it,” he encourages, his thumb stroking your thigh in slow circles.
Finally, he draws your panties to the side and doesn’t waste another second.
Gojo’s mouth descends on your pussy, tongue flicking out to lap at your clit.
You gasp sharply, hips bucking up as he sucks the sensitive nub between his lips, rolling it gently. His hands hold your thighs apart, fingers digging into your skin to keep you open for him. He eats you out like he’s starved, tongue delving inside you, tasting your wetness then circling back to your clit with firm, insistent strokes.
“Oh god,” you choke out, the words tumbling from your lips in a breathless rush. “Fuck, it’s too—fuck it’s so good!”
With your hands free, you curl your fingers in his soft white hair, guiding him exactly where the pleasure feels strongest. It's your first time feeling anything like this, and the intensity builds fast, a coiling heat that’s overwhelming but addictive.
He hums against you, the vibrations making you whine as his tongue thrusts in and out, mimicking what’s to come, stretching you open with wet, probing motions.
“Mmm, taste so fucking sweet,” he growls between licks, pulling back just enough to speak, his breath hot against your folds. “You’re clenching so hard already—gonna finger fuck you open so you can take my cock later.”
He adds a finger, sliding it inside your slick heat slowly, curling it to brush against that spot that makes stars burst behind your eyelids. “That's it baby, feel how wet you are for me? so tight around my finger, imagine how you’ll squeeze my dick when I'm buried deep.”
You nod frantically, the haze of pleasure making it hard to form words.
He senses your building release, slipping a second finger inside to stretch you further, scissoring them gently to prepare you while his mouth latches back on your clit, sucking harder. “Come on, cum for me—wanna taste you so fucking bad, sweets. I want to feel you shake.”
The orgasm hits you like a wave, crashing over your body without warning. you cry out, back arching off the surface beneath you as your pussy clenches around his fingers, pulsing with release. He doesn’t stop, lapping at you through it, drawing out every shudder until you’re boneless and gasping for air, his tongue coaxing every last tremor from your oversensitive folds.
Gojo pulls back slowly, a string of saliva still connecting to you until he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he crawls up your body.
“Fuck, you taste like heaven,” he murmurs, leaning in for a deep kiss and letting you taste yourself on his lips.
You kiss back weakly making him chuckle, and he pulls back with a wet chu.
“You okay?”
You nod weakly. One moment you’re catching your breath on the couch, the next he’s lifting you over his shoulder and laying you down on his bed.
You yelp, feeling gravity turn on its head until you’re safely on his mattress.
Watching as he eagerly strips, you say, “You got a bedframe.”
He grins widely, shimmying down his boxers to join his sweatpants on the floor. “Yeah, I did. Do you like it?”
You huff. “Yeah. About time, Satoru.”
Gojo’s smile is oddly bright as he gets on the bed and hovers over you. He shifts, propping himself up on his elbows, his blue eyes darkening as they fixate on your chest. Without a word, he moves down, his mouth hovering just above your skin before he presses his face into the soft valley of your tits, inhaling deeply as if savouring your scent.
“God, I love these things.” he groans, voice muffled, his lips brushing the sensitive underside. “So goddamn perfect. Feel how hard you make me just staring at them?”
You squirm, indeed feeling his cock throb against your leg. “You’re such an animal.”
“I can't help it. Been thinking about these ever since last time.” He peeks up at you though he’s still hesitant to part with them completely. “Can i fuck them?”
Your nod is all the consent he craves. He straddles your waist carefully and guides his thick length to rest in the plush channel you’ve created by pressing your breasts together. The first slide is torturously slow, the velvety skin enveloping him as he rocks forward, the tip emerging shiny with precum near your collarbone.
“Shit, yes,” he hisses, hips snapping in a shallow rhythm. “So soft, so fucking warm around me. Look at that, sweets. Your tits are hugging my dick like they were made for it.”
His voice drops lower, rough with building pleasure, each word punctuated by the slick glide of skin on skin.
You watch him, mesmerised by the concentration etching his features, brow furrowed, lips parted as he pants. Sweat beads on his forehead and trickles down his temples as his abs flex with every controlled push. The friction builds between your tits, his precum smearing across your skin, making the slide even smoother and more obscene.
He glances down to watch his cock disappear and poke out from your cleavage. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
“Sweets,” you remind him.
He lets out a stifled groan, hips jerking forward. “Sweets, please. Let me see your pretty tongue. Want it on my tip when i come through so fucking bad.”
The nickname sends a thrill through you, and you part your lips obediently, flattening your tongue in invitation. He groans at the sight, hips stuttering as he angles higher, the flushed head of his cock brushing your waiting mouth on the next thrust.
“Fuck, just like that,” he rasps. “Your tongue feels so good lapping at me like that. Swirl it around, taste how much I want you. God, sweets, you’re killing me.”
You do, tracing the sensitive underside when he pushes forward, the salty tang of him flooding your senses. His reaction is immediate, a deep, guttural moan escapes him, his rhythm faltering as he jerks deeper, chasing the wet heat of your mouth.
“Can't get enough,” he growls, drawing back only to thrust again, his tip kissing your tongue with deliberate precision and drawing back a sticky string of his precum and your saliva. “Gonna fuck your mouth next, stuff it full of my cock until you’re choking on it. You'd take it so well, wouldn’t you? Suck me down like the greedy little thing you are.”
Saliva pools on your tongue and drips down to mix with the mess on your chest. He watches it all with hooded eyes, rutting faster now, the slap of his hips against your breasts echoing softly in the room.
“Fuck, sweets—gonna cum,” he warns through gritted teeth, his forehead creasing in that pretty, desperate way. “Can’t hold back with you squeezing me like this. Shit, i’m gonna paint you, mark every inch of these pretty tits.”
He lurches forward suddenly, back bowing as he towers over you, one hand bracing beside your head while the other strokes his base to control his release. The first hot spurt lands across your neck, thick and warm, followed by another that arches toward your open mouth. He aims with a focused groan, pressing down on the head to guide it, ropes of cum landing on your tongue, filling your senses with his taste.
“Take it, that’s a good girl,” he pants, voice breaking on a final, shuddering thrust. “Look at you, covered in me. So fucking hot, dripping with my cum on your face and tits.”
His body quakes through the aftershocks, eyes never leaving yours, drinking in your reaction as he milks every drop onto you.
When he’s spent, he collapses forward slightly, catching himself on his forearms to avoid crushing you and leans down.
Your lips meet his in a deep, unhurried kiss, tongues tangling slow and sweet at first, then hungrier as you melt into it. The taste of him, salty from earlier, mixed with the faint tang of your own arousal, ignites you, and you tug him down, hands roaming his shoulders, feeling the flex of muscle under sweat damp skin. A soft moan escapes you, and he swallows it, his grip tightening just a fraction.
He pulls back and pants against your lips, half laughing.
“Sorry, I should have warned you. Kind of not the most virgin friendly thing to do, huh?” He sits up and reaches for some tissue to clean you. “Should of saved this for inside you, sweets.”
You clench, squeezing your thighs together. “I’ve never…”
His eyes soften, wiping the last of his cum. “I know, sweets. We can wait if you need to, there’s no rush.”
But curiousity and want is a dangerous cocktail and you find yourself shaking your head. “I want to.”
Gojo lets out a shuddering breath and nods, sliding off your chest, his cock glistening and heavy against his thigh. “Let me get you warmed up again.”
He doesn't find much difficulty with that because one hand against your slit and his eyebrows are rising, feeling your wetness despite the lack of attention.
You blush, feeling caught. “What? Don’t look at me like that, it’s embarrassing.”
“What’s got you so wet, hm?”
You squirm, feeling the lingering pleasure flare up. “It’s not my fault you’re so vocal.”
“Dirty girl. You like hearing how good you make me feel?” His thumb smears your entrance, picking up and spreading the fresh arousal that gathers there and it’s as good as any verbal answer. “Feel that? So worked up with nowhere to go.”
His fingers part you gently, circling your entrance with feather-light strokes that make you gasp.
“Let me warm you up again, sweets. You’re so swollen here, feels like you’ve been waiting for more. Gonna make sure you’re nice and ready for me.”
He plays with the mess between your legs, his own expression a mix of hunger and restraint, breaths coming in measured pulls as he fights the urge to rush. One finger dips inside you shallowly, then two, curling just right to brush that spot that sends sparks up your spine.
The stretch is easier now, your body remembering the pleasure, and he coos softly at your soft whimper, thumb finding your clit to rub in slow, firm circles.
“Shit, you’re so tight,” he groans quietly, voice rough around the edges. “So warm and wet, it’s killing me not to slide in right now. But we’re taking our time, yeah? Making this perfect for you.”
Your hips rock instinctively into his hand, the coil of heat tightening low in your belly, and he grins, leaning in to pepper kisses along your jaw.
“Look at you, getting into it. My sweet girl, so responsive.”
You whine, the pleasure having reached a plateau and when you buck up for more, he withdraws his hand. The loss makes you whine but he hushes you with a gentle kiss to your forehead, reaching over to the nightstand and searching through his messy drawers for a condom.
The foil crinkles under his fingers as he tears it open and positions himself at your entrance. You're still slick, he’s made sure of that, but the anticipation makes you clench, nerves building up. He notices your sharp inhale and lets his tip nudge your slick folds, parting them teasingly though he pauses there to let you feel the pressure without pushing in.
“Hey, eyes on me, sweets,” he murmurs, voice steady despite the way his chest heaves, his cock twitching against you. “You still okay? Tell me if it’s too much, I’ll stop, I promise. But fuck, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be inside you.”
“I’m okay,” you whisper breathlessly, fingers curling into the sheets below. “Just… go slow?”
He notices and slides a hand down to interlace your fingers, bringing your hand up to his lips and placing a soft kiss to your palm. “Of course. Whatever you want.”
The stretch is immediate, a slow burn as he guides himself in, sinking bit by bit. His cock is much thicker than his fingers but the warmth of him, the way he watches every flicker of your expression with that twitch in his jaw, makes it bearable.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight,” he rasps, eyes shutting briefly. “Gripping me so good already. Easy, sweets, just relax into it.”
His voice cracks a little on the end, his fingers digging into your skin as he holds himself still once he’s halfway in.
It aches, but the fullness is intoxicating, waves of pleasure chasing the discomfort as your body yields. You gasp, squeezing his hand and he coos softly, stroking you with his thumb.
“Can I keep going?”
You nod and even before your next breath, he’s already sliding in and bottoming out with a shared gasp, hips flushed against yours. His forehead rests against yours, breaths mingling in the humid air.
"How's that feel? Too much?” He asks softly.
“Full… so full,” you whimper, rocking experimentally and he hisses through his teeth, hips bucking up just a fraction before he catches himself.
“Fuck, want me to move, sweets?” He shifts beneath you, guiding your hips in a gentle circle to grind against you, his praises making the movement slick.
“Please,” you gasp out as the fullness sparks pleasure deep inside and he rewards your honest words with a slow roll of his hips.
“Good girl,” he praises, voice dropping to a gravelly whisper as he starts to move, shallow thrusts that build a steady friction. Each slide in and out drags against your inner walls, drawing out filthy whimpers and sighs as he hits that sweet spot with precision born of his experience.
Soon, your toes are curling and your back bows off his mattress, desperate to meet his thrusts.
“Listen to those sounds you’re making,” he coos, emphasising his words with a deep thrust. “You’re taking me so well, sweets. makes me want to stay buried in your forever.”
The pace gradually quickens, his control fraying at the edges as your moans encourage him. He shifts the angle, one leg hooking over his shoulder to deepen the penetration, and the new position has you crying out, pleasure coiling tight in your core.
Sweat beads on his skin, dropping onto your chest and he leans down to capture a nipple between his lips, sucking gently as he thrusts harder, the wet slap of skin echoing softly.
“That’s it, let go for me,” he urges against your tits, teeth grazing the peak before soothing it with his tongue. “I can feel you squeezing, you close for me already? Come on, sweets, chase it.”
His words weave through the haze, dirty and devoted, spurring you higher as his freehand slips between you to circle your clit in time with his hips. The dual sensations overwhelm, building to a peak that has you trembling beneath him.
When it hits, it’s blinding, your orgasm crashing over you in waves, walls clenching rhythmically around him and pulling him deeper. He groans your name like a prayer, thrusts stuttering as rides it out with you, prolonging the bliss with expert rolls of his hips.
Only when you slump, sweaty and panting, does he let himself follow, a filthy groan escaping his lips as he buries himself deep one last time and spills into the condom, body shuddering as he struggles to hover over you.
He doesn’t pull away immediately, instead pressing his hips closer to ensure you’ve gotten everything before collapsing half on top of you, peppering lazy kisses along your neck.
“You’re amazing,” he whispers. “My perfect girl, did so good for us.”
You whimper against the ticklish sensation. “You're too heavy.”
He chuckles and rolls off you, slowly pulling out to pull the condom off and discard it. you watch him with sleepy eyes, eagerly nuzzling into his arms when he settles back beside you.
“Need anything? Water? Cuddles?”
You hum, feeling the satisfaction morph into a drowsiness that has you melting into his arms, only feeling his warmth.
“You?”
He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’m so glad I stole you away. You’re so fucking perfect for me.”
You lean into his side, feeling a sense of indescribable completeness that fills you with certainty.
Geto Suguru may have been everyone’s first love but Gojo Satoru is the one you choose.
And judging by the way his arm tightens around you, the way his grin softens when he looks down at you, he knows it too.
Geto Suguru is everyone’s first love.
Even to this day, your friends will roll their eyes and insist that can’t possibly be true. But from experience, that was exactly who he was, someone to admire from afar like a painting behind glass. Beautiful and alluring, and just out of reach.
You see him now up, sitting on the couches at the house party driving the murmur of conversation with ease, a red cup used to gesture. Laughter ripples outward in waves, people leaning closer, drawn in.
You smile out of solidarity, resting against the wall with content misplaced at a busy place like this.
“Did you wait long?”
You turn your head to find your boyfriend weaving through bodies with the casual confidence of someone who assumes space will make itself around him. Two drinks in hand, hair messy under his cat, grin already forming because he’s caught you staring.
You push off the wall, reaching automatically for whichever cup is closer but he pulls back to sniff both before handing you the opposite one.
You take it gratefully and when you take a sip, you realise it’s your favourite juice.
“Wait time longer than the lines at Universal,” you tease.
He grins, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Next time I'll get us the priority pass. Not that it looked like you minded the wait. Don’t think I didn't see you eyeing Suguru like that. Do I have competition again?”
You shove him playfully. “Please, like I'm the one who’s been draping themselves over him for the past hour.”
Across the room, Geto laughs again, someone hanging off his shoulder while he tries to keep the liquid in his cup from spilling. He catches your eye briefly and lifts his cup in greeting. You return it with a smile.
Next to you, Gojo sighs dramatically.
“Wow,” he says flatly. “Right in front of me too. Why can’t I see any remorse in your eyes?”
“Because there isn’t any there,” you snort. “You're the one who told him to come tonight.”
“Where there’s Satoru, there’s Suguru.”
“I learnt that the hard way.”
He hums, arm sliding around your waist to pull you flush against his side. His thumb starts tracing lazy circles just above your hip, absentminded and affectionate, a touch so familiar you barely notice as you lean into him in return.
“Still,” he murmurs, quieter now, his breath warm against your cheek. “You don’t have to keep looking at him like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re thinking about what you could have had.”
You tilt your head to look up at him. His expression isn’t jealous, not completely, just searching, softer than the bravado he usually wears.
“I'm not,” you promise gently. “It was always superficial. You know that better than anyone. I guess now, looking at him is like looking at a relic of a different version of me.”
He hums. “He would have liked that sentence.”
You roll your eyes, ever so familiar with his dramatics. “You have nothing to worry about, baby. I promise.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You reach up and adjust the brim of his cap slightly, smoothing down a piece of hair that refuses to stay put. “Besides, I think I traded up.”
“Keep talking like that and I'm going to start thinking you actually like me,” he grins, voice lowering.
You smack his chest but your other hand lingers in his hair, fingers slipping into the soft hair at his nape. "Don't get cocky.”
Too late. He's already smiling wide, not the loud, flashy grin everyone else gets, but something softer and almost boyish reserved just for you.
Gojo leans down and finds your lips. The kiss is slow and unhurried, deeper than something meant for a crowded room but not quite indecent, like he’s forgotten where you are or just doesn’t care.
He pulls back just enough to talk. “Hey, I have an idea that’ll solve this three way jealousy.”
“What?
“Why don’t we just have a threesome?”
a/n: i had to repost this because i realised i could fit everything into one post but holy hell reformating everything made me wanna die so please smash that like button hit subscribe and don't forget to turn on that notification bell ++ shoutout to flatline and happy pokemon day to those who celebrate
wish there was a non rude way to be like “I understand your criticism, I don’t even necessarily disagree with it, but I am doing these things on purpose, because I like them and I want to, and therefore your opinion has no value, because you might think me painting a room entirely pink is tacky, but I did it on purpose”
NERD!GOJO that spanks your ass till it all pretty and pink, just the way he likes it. If only you didn't get a 70% on your exam
Letting your sweet virgin roommate NERD!GOJO nut sooo deep inside your pussy, your too cock drunk to even realize he's fucking it back into you
NERD!GOJO and his pretty roommate cant stop moaning as she hops on his dick
NERD!GOJO who had a rough day in class so to cheer him up he buries himself beneath you soft cheeks
how could NERD!GOJO not fuck you over his gaming chair , you kept begging for his attention even when he told you he was in the middle of a match, but how could he ignore his needy baby?
NERD!GOJO who fingers you until you shaking and whimpering, he just loves hearing your sweet little moans
long dick NERD!GOJO making you take every inch of him
torturing NERD!GOJO’S pretty cock after you catch him masturbating to you (could correlate with this fic)
NERD!GOJO lets you grind your cunt on his thigh when he's too lazy to fuck you
you've been such a good girl, getting all the practice answers right that NERD!GOJO he can't help but eat your sloppy cunt until you cry out for him
this is the aftermath of NERD!GOJO finally getting inside your warm cunt
missionary with your legs spread wide ⸍ fingering⸍ drilling into you ⸍ gaming while he fucks you ⸍ pussy eating ⸍ doggy ⸍ backshots from heaven (hell) ⸍ stroking his dick when cuddling
mean nanami
thigh riding to toy with you after he's had a long day at work ⸍ sit on his face ⸍ smooth thrusts ⸍ missionary ⸍ finger fucking ⸍ this while he drives ⸍ breeding ⸍ backshots
cult leader geto
switching the positions ⸍ this but on his throne ⸍ fingering ⸍ rough sex + breeding ⸍ in the showers ⸍ mating presses bc he needs an heir from you ⸍ pussy eating ⸍ breeding
assassin toji
toji's making sure it takes. ⸍ he pumps you full in missionary ⸍ rubbing your pussy ⸍ teasing you with his tongue ⸍ rough missionary ⸍ rough wall sex ⸍ this ⸍ hes making you do all the work
stoner choso
soft pussy eating ⸍ panties pushed to the side ⸍ breathplay + backshots ⸍ not putting it in ⸍ riding ⸍ stroking his pretty dick ⸍ this when high ⸍ somno
boxer sukuna
prone ⸍ fucking you like a ragdoll ⸍ hole inspection ⸍ voyeurism humping your thighs ⸍ thumb in ur butt ⸍ this ⸍ grinding