The Abyss of Gender and Hyperfixation

25 || Any Pronouns. || 18+ only || I will be talking about gender and reblogging art. ||

[illiendicnonnagon]

This account has basically been dormant for a while, and I don't have a professional decorum I'm trying to keep all that much anymore, so I figure I might as well revive it a bit and throw gender thoughts in here. Maybe I'll post art here too if I ever start to be more confident about posting stuff again. Tags Identity Esoterica - Thoughts where I will put anything related to gender, sexuality, romanticism, anything regarding identity, really. Nonna Thoughts - Meaningless, trivial thoughts that I have that are generally unrelated. Hyperfixations abound - long winded, trailing thoughts about any given current hyperfixation.

[kairithemang0-fm]

Reblog if you're transmasc, support trans men, or want a chocolate chip cookie

[bumblebleh]

all of the above

[asterosian]

The world needs more trans men living their best lives to the fullest 🏳️‍⚧️

And it needs them more than it needs sad “girls” pretending to be someone they’re not to make everyone else happy

[illiendicnonnagon]

And furthermore; in terms of "'pretending to be someone they're not to make everyone else happy": You don't have to stay a sad "girl" to make people happy. Trans men living out their lives is something that makes the lives' of others better, too! Because of trans men expressing their euphoria about being masculine, it helped me realize I am much more nonbinary than I originally thought when I first was figuring out gender stuff and on top of that, helped significantly reduce dysphoria I had.

[i-suggest-transing-your-gender]

Shoutout to weird girls who became weird boys and weird boys who became weird girls and weird girls and boys who became both or neither. Let's all be weird and strange together

[illiendicnonnagon]

Well, I wrote like, a ~10 paragraph essay about gender and how I feel some trans discourse ends up undermining the core concept of being trans while also reinventing the binary but it's not letting me post it. I think it might be too long.... orz

[illiendicnonnagon]

Core concepts: Any time anyone, including someone not meaning to be bigoted, ends up creating barriers between genders or sex in such concrete terms, and asserting some sort of oppositional sexism for any reason, not only does it uphold the binary, but also ends up gate keeping terminology, experiences, or feelings behind a gender. Which is way too close to gender essentialism for me (when it's not literally just gender essentialism, which it easily can be, even by accident). Stuff saying that like people are either TMA or TME. Is one of these things. And I think goes against the real core beliefs of " if you don't support all trans people, you support none of us". Trans men, trans women, enbies- we're all pretty cool and we should support each other, because if we don't it's just going to hurt everyone.

[illiendicnonnagon]

Well, I wrote like, a ~10 paragraph essay about gender and how I feel some trans discourse ends up undermining the core concept of being trans while also reinventing the binary but it's not letting me post it. I think it might be too long.... orz

[illiendicnonnagon]

I think about these two snippets a lot from time to time.

"Carney" from "Body Alchemy: Transsexual Portraits", 1996

"LIGHTNING TURNS WOMAN INTO MAN!" from "FTM Newsletter #1", 1987.

You can find the full texts over here by the way! https://transguyarchive.wixstudio.com/transguyarchive

[failedelectrocution]

Commissioned this from @tr4shraccoon :D

One and a half years on T, and god, I feel so alive!

edit: tr4shraccoon is on reddit, do hit them up for commissions !!! esp to pay for their pup's funeral ❤️

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[this-is-trans-joy]

everyone loves to hate terfs until they realise that it actually entails rejecting bioessentialism entirely and then suddenly you’re “taking things too seriously” and you “don’t have a sense of humour” like i’m sorry but saying protect the dolls doesn’t make you immune to terfism it has seeped into every corner of mainstream feminism and unless you’re actively searching it out and checking your own biases you will always be at risk of sharing a space with terfs

[illiendicnonnagon]

My "hyper specific essay about my gender expression, alienation and how I commiserate with others on the rare occasions they share similar sentiments" after I finish rewriting it to be more palatable: "Uhhhh, Happy Pride!"

[illiendicnonnagon]

I went through the arduous, and frankly, expensive, process of a legal name change. I don't regret it, but in the years since, my perspective on it has shifted a bit. Names mean a lot to me. The letters and sounds that comprise them end up being representations of entire people and languages of connections and experiences. So my chosen name isn't just a means of address, but I representation of the self as a concept and the experiences I share with others. Which is to say, the general public doesn't need to know my chosen name, and the government doesn't even deserve to. Because when it comes down to it, that name is not for them. It's for myself, and the ones I love and trust dearly.

[starridge]

an unmatched feeling actually

[illiendicnonnagon]

Content warning for slurs about myself:

I have the luxury to be semi-stealth in public. And to do that, I sanitize my identity. It's not usually necessary for people to need to know the nuances of my identity in order to be respectful towards me, so in the general public, I am "Part of the LGBTQ+ Community" or whatever. A little more accurate and nuanced is being "Queer", and furthering that nuance and understanding on a much deeper level, there's people who 'get it' when I say "Yeah, I'm a faggot". It's not a term I use all the time, but I think it gets across the messiness of my identity, and keeps it away from being too marketable, too, so I can resonate with it quite a lot. And for those that understand those implications, I greatly appreciate you.

[illiendicnonnagon]

Random thought before going to bed. Addressing people only within the binary (or the implied binary by saying "guys and girls" because there's overlap) is *so* common that I think the most I have ever heard a cis person address nonbinary people in their audience was back in like 2014 or something and they used out dated jokes (you can probably guess the kind they were). But the thing is, he'd use it unironically and as a stand in for basically saying " I don't care if you're a man, woman, or if your experience with gender falls outside the status quo and people make you feel like your experiences aren't genuine. If you're here, you're part of the community, which means if anyone discriminates against you, I'd beat their ass if I could, because you matter and your experiences are worth it.." Kinda the prime example in my mind of "He's a bit confused by he's got the spirit." And while stuff has gotten better since then, no question, enbies are still addressed in such peculiar ways and (usually) dismissive ways). Personally not a fan, but being addressed as along with "ladies and gentlemen" is rare enough where if I hear "they/thems" I'll take it if it's said in good faith. Even more rare though do I hear people address nonbinary folks in a way that is concise and inclusive, despite the fact that English is not lacking on gender neutral ways to address a group of people. Nonbinary language can sometimes be clunky, I get that, but group settings is not one of those times.

[beedrops]

It will never cease to amaze me how many people act like hating men is a substitute for loving women.

[publicopinionrp]

Messed around making a little character poster for Lima.