If only the Earth and Stones could speak,the stories they'd tell

Bexley Beck. 23. On my own. Learning one day at a time that life is what you make it. #WeirdoVibes [Closed Blog for Lunar Cove RP]

[emiraarduenna]

Emira knew that her arrival out of the blue was weird. She felt it in that moment. It was the same feeling when you arrived at an event you weren't invited to. All eyes were on you, silently judging. She was in too deep now. She couldn't exactly run away to spare herself the humiliation, nor did she want to. Connecting with people was hard for Emira. She cycled through friends, not out of choice. There were falling outs and growing apart. Her circle had always been small. When she found someone, she latched on to them. She had so much love to give but didn't know how to express it properly. So here she was making an attempt to show Bex that while they didn't know each other well, she still cared, and she hoped that was okay. "Dangerous?" She asked, brows furrowed in confusion. "We live in a town with supernatural beings ... danger seems like the name of the game here, Bex." Bex didn't exactly scream dangerous either to Emira, but she kept that to herself. "What happened?"

[illputabexonyou]

"I died," Bex answered bluntly. She'd never been good at bracing people for what she was about to say, or for understanding the need to be gentle with how she said things. Her brows furrowed. "Apparently with V in my system. Which I wasn't aware of. Nor wanted." The implication was clear. She didn't say it out loud again. The idea had upset enough people already, that Bex had never wanted to wake up. That she would have preferred to stay dead, if she'd actually died. Now death would have to be so much more intentional. "I'm not very good at, um-- controlling myself right now. Well, I never really was. But now it's bad. Again." She stayed wedged behind the door, peering out at Emira. They were still new to becoming friends and Bex didn't want to ruin it like she did most things in her life. "I don't want to hurt you."

[swimmingwiththefitzes]

Billie flinched, even though she knew that Bex couldn't see. It was probably good, she guessed, that Bex couldn't see. She'd do anything to make Bex alive again, if she could. Anything to make her feel like herself again. Unfortunately, Billie couldn't do that. Vampirism was sort of one of those things that couldn't really be undone.

"You don't have to apologize," Billie said quietly. She didn't think that Bex should have to apologize for being upset about this. Even if Billie was glad that Bex was there, that didn't matter. Not really. Not to her. "It's-- work," Billie started, scrunching up her nose as she tried to figure out what to say. "I don't really talk to many people... I think it's been... not... great. For a lot of people. Ah, it was ichor. Everyone who got marked a few months ago at New Years got injected with... I don't really know, some sort of experimental version of it?" Including Billie. She scratched at her arm. "So I think people have mostly been trying to... deal with that."

[illputabexonyou]

Bex's face scrunched up. Ichor. Bex didn't know much about it, but she certainly remembered everyone talking about it after the last incident with it. She also remembered it was the drug responsible for giving regular humans powers. It sounded dangerous. And now Billie had been injected with it, too, because of Bex. Because she'd refused to vote.

Wait.

Bex's breathing faltered. Billie had been injected with the ichor. She remembered how she'd changed, how, out of the corner of her eye, Bex had seen her helpless and floundering in the middle of the room. In the moment, though, the only thing Bex had been able to think about was keeping the Hellhound away from her. Away from the people she cared about.

Well, she'd been successful. Mostly.

"The marked..."

The thought slammed back into her, though, and before she could stop herself, Bex was twisting and throwing her door open, beat faced and staring at Billie. Her eyes raked over her, looking for anything out of place. At first, she couldn't see anything. No scratches on her face, or visible skin, no scars or other, marring her visage. But then her eyes flicked to the long sleeves, which weren't that unusual to see on her. Except that Billie rarely wore long sleeves around Bex anymore, when it was just them.

"You--" Bex reached out without thinking, hand making contact with the soft fabric of Billie's sleeve. It was so much more than she was expecting, even as she'd had to learn to grow used to the sensation of her own clothing all over again the past few days. Her hand jerked back as if burned. "Are you--?" Okay hung in the air between them, because neither of them were okay, but it was the only word Bex's mind could conjure right now, as she stared at Billie, wide eyed and frozen.

[cantfightmoonlight]

Meena sat in silence beside Bex for another prolonged beat, before her faint words piped up to remind the young woman beside her, "You went through it too." Bexley might not have been alone, but the pain was still the same, and she was sure Bex had hardly even known there had been anyone by her side either. Even if she hadn't been alone.

"You are you," Meena observed. Bexley might've seen herself as a vampire now, but all Meena saw was the same woman she had met all of those years ago. "You still have the same life. The same girlfriend who thankfully doesn't have to age the same as you. The same home. The same job. The one you chose and made for yourself, and as for magic, you can still perform it as a vampire just as you did as a witch. It might be the dark affinity rather than the light, but after siphoning, it really isn't all that different. There are other aspects you may have to learn control in, such as blood lust. But, believe it or not, you having been a witch means you have far more of a leg up than every other newly turned vampire. It might not seem like it, and you have every reason to be angry, but you're not starting at square one. And as unfortunate as it is, what happened to you, to which I am truly sorry, by the way, but if it hadn't happened, that life you have and the you, you want to be, would be gone. You'd be dead, which, if you'd rather be, I entirely understand that too. But, if being you is what you want, I'm afraid," Her voice was soft as she explained, "this is the only way in which you can be. You'll no longer be able to age or have your own children. None of us who die are able to, resurrected or vampiric. But, you will be able to travel the world, to study in whatever university or college you'd like to, you'll be able to fall in love, and have whatever life you want for yourself. It won't be a life without loss, and it might not be the species you would've chosen, to which you are more than welcome to harbor resentment against your maker for. Most of us do that too. But it is a life and still yours. I know it might feel new, and in a way it is, but the truth? The sad reality none of us vampires ever like to admit out loud is that the only big difference between who we were and who we are post-death is that we've all endured something horribly traumatic. We've still the same deep down, even if we all do grieve the way we were before we went through the worst pain humanly imaginable. That's our not so little secret."

[illputabexonyou]

Bex looked at her hands in her lap. "I guess." She wasn't sure it was really the same. Maybe it was, in the end. Maybe death was death, whether you were surrounded by the people you loved or completely alone.

Bex was quiet as she listened to Meena talk. The longer she did, the tighter her grip on the pillow became. It all made sense, what the Clan leader was saying. Logically, she was right and Bex knew that. Still, it didn't make anything inside of her feel any better. If she really was the same person, then what exactly did it mean that she didn't feel the same? What did it mean that she felt so different? So not herself?

After a long time not responding, Bex realized she was probably supposed to say something. She sighed. "I know." She rubs her hand over her face. "I know, I just-- I was finally someone, you know? I finally got to be who I wanted to be. And it took so long to get there." Objectively, she knows vampires can siphon magic and use magic. Ronnie had done it to her accidentally, after all, the first time they'd ever met. The memory felt sour in her brain now. She frowned. "I'm...I'm happy I'm not, you know, dead dead. I know how much it would hurt Billie and Rohan and Jonah. And...other people, too. But I--" her grip tightened once more on the pillow, enough that her knuckles turned pale-- "I finally had a choice. And now that's gone."

[rohanxpersaudx]

Rohan smiled as Bex stepped into the corridor, although the tenseness in her stance did not escape his notice. He lingered gently, not intruding on her space but refusing, still, to retreat. "Do you know Peter Frechette...that's DiMucci...he does regional work fairly often? I'd seen him a few times onstage before Lunar Cove. Maybe I should write a vehicle for him." He shrugged his shoulders, half-joking. "The Pendulum needs a few more celebrity photos anyway. The autographed one of Florence Henderson went missing the last time...well, during the renovations." The events leading up to those renovations were ones on which he preferred not to linger.

"Wow. What's that supposed to mean? Am I a fading grand dame or a cutthroat wannabe?" He playfully rolled his eyes at her. Rohan jostled her shoulder with affection. "Maybe we can pick an aquatic movie to swap in. He'd like that. What's a good fish movie?" He hummed.

Pausing, Rohan nodded definitively. "Of course. That's not going to happen, okay? Do you want to...It's not blood, but I'm a magic battery, right? Will that help?"

[illputabexonyou]

Bex felt stiff, even as she shook her head. She was trying her best to stay casual and keep this whole thing...normal. Whatever that meant now. God, did she have to find a new normal again? After she'd tried so hard to find the new one last time. The idea sat low in her belly, like a stone at the bottom of an old, untouched well. "I bet if you wrote something, he'd take the gig, though." Her shoulders lifted, fell. It was supposed to be a shrug. "You're, like, the best playwright I know." Never mind that Rohan was the only playwright she knew, really. It was both a tease and something genuine. She smiled, soft and anvious.

"Both?" Bex offered, still lingering near the top of the stairs. She stiffened, unintentionally, at the contact, but didn't pull away from it. "Finding Nemo is a classic. Or Shark Tales?"

It was maybe a bit too relieving, the promise. At the offer, though, she shook her head. "No." She said it too quickly. She didn't care. "I'm fine right now. I just...just in case." Hurting either Jonah or Rohan would be the worst case scenario, in Bex's head. It would be the end of her life, really. It would ruin everything.

[rohanxpersaudx]

Rohan smiled softly.. "It's...well, you know, a cult classic. At least a more digestible one than some of the really deep cuts." He seemed to perk up a bit when Bex opened the door even just a little. "In any case, now is a good a time as any to watch it, I say. Maybe you could even humor me with a little Grease 2 if we want a double feature. It is the superior Grease, after all." He was not sure the films were perfect thematic matches, but they shared suitable degrees of nonsense.

"You would say that. But it's okay. I understand. I probably shouldn't have been watching All About Eve at that age anyway," Rohan teased gently. He flashed a grin. "You're on. But if he looks really sad about it, I reserve the right to change my mind, okay? I'm weak." He cocked his head down the hall toward the staircase.

[illputabexonyou]

Bex nodded. "I've heard that." She finally let go of the doorknob and stepped outside of her room, tentative but rigid. It was as if she were bracing for something bad to happen as soon as she left the safety of her room, but nothing did, and she let out the breath she was holding. The breath she didn't need. "Maybe." She nodded. "Grease 2 is definitely the better movie, though." She maybe even cracked a small smile.

Bex was sure most found it strange, but she'd always liked older movies more than modern ones. All About Eve was a classic, and one of her favorites. It made too much sense that Rohan liked it, too. "They say what we watch in our younger years really informs who we become as adults. So, that makes sense for you." Her eyes flitted towards the stair case. She stayed planted in her spot for a moment longer. "Okay," she relented, "but only because you guys are really cute." And because Bex was weak, too. She moved another few steps towards the stairs, hands wringing together.

"You'll--" she started, stopped. Turned to look at Rohan again, nervous. "You'll stop me, right? If I-- If I try to hurt..."

[gazingatmestarry-eyed]

In the back corner of the Caffeine Crypt, adjacent to the front door, there was an oversized chair. Stretched across it was the owner, with her nose in a book. Whenever someone entered the coffee shop, Georgiana would peek up at them. Most of the time, her eyes quickly returned to her reading. Though on a rare occasion, the person who entered would pique her interest enough to be observed.

It was almost painful to watch the new vampire fumble about. Georgiana nearly stood before before the patron she was eyeing finally ordered. A coffee. No blood. She sighed, heavily, in disappointment, as her attention returned to her book. A page turn later and Gia recalled the doll she'd gifted at Christmas the year prior. Most partygoers scorned it as haunted, but one girl had been enamored. It softened the vampire slightly and more out of pity than interest, Georgiana finally closed her book and approached Bexley's table in a blur. There was no formal greeting or social pleasantries.

"Follow me if you do not wish to be miserable for an eternity."

From the cafe floor Georgiana led Bexley into the crypt's office. A space primarily used by the employees for daily business operations, except for the hidden passage way behind the vampire's portrait. "This way." She instructed without looking back before descending into the tunnel. It was old and dark, almost as old as her. "Yes." She answered to a question that hadn't been asked. "It was constructed alongside the other tunnels in town." Except, this tunnel wasn't connected to the others tunnels in town. This one led from The Crypt to her house, while another connected her home to an exit point near the border of town. They were connection points of convenience should she ever need to move about inconspicuously. Of course, she didn't mention any of these things to Bexley.

The tunnel was dark, and it was clear by the temperature drop they were descending further and further into the ground. Georgiana did not explain herself and walked intentionally fast. A break-neck pace that came to an abrupt halt for no obvious reason. Even in the dark the vampire's teeth gleamed, as her lips curled back into a smirk. "Try not to get lost, miss Bexley Beck." Then, in an instant she was gone to zip to the end of the tunnel. The entry into her home was blocked by a steal door that slid open after the vampire keyed in a code. Beyond the tunnel was the lowest floor of Georgiana's home. It was three stories below ground and packed full of artifacts categorized together as if in a curated museum. At the entry way, the older vampire waited to see if and when the younger would make it through. A test of sorts to see if she was even worthy of the effort.

[illputabexonyou]

Bex only jumped a little, which, really, was a feat for her. A bit of coffee splashed out from her cup because she'd barely touched it. At least it was cooler now. She stared over at Gia. "Uh--" Before she could get a word out, though, the older vampire was heading off. Bex sat there for only a moment longer, glancing around, before abandoning her coffee and hurriedly following after. She wanted to ask what that meant, but she could already tell that asking that would not be the right move, so she kept her mouth shut, following after her. The portrait opened to a hidden door and Bex couldn't help but feel like maybe she was dreaming, or she was in some sort of mystery movie.

She stepped in behind her and watched it swing shut, before scurrying over to the other vampire, who hadn't stopped walking. Bex's eyes scaled the walls, reaching out to brush along the old brick that lined them. It was as if Gia read her mind and she snapped her head forward to look at her. "Wow..." she breathed out, enthralled by the idea of their history alone.

Gia's pace began to pick up and Bex nearly stumbled over her own feet to keep up. The tunnel was getting darker, colder, Bex could feel it, but it didn't make her feel cold. That was still new.

So enthralled was she by the tunnels themselves, she nearly ran straight into Gia when she stopped suddenly. "Oh, sor-- hey, wait!" Gia took off and Bex was left grappling empty air. "What-- I--"

In her life, Bex had never exactly been the most athletic person. She was flexible, sure, but a litany of physical problems and chronic illnesses had stopped her from being any sort of athlete. But apparently dying cured most of those-- one plus, she supposed. Her feet started moving without much thought. She was still new and clumsy and she tripped over her feet a few times, before she found herself picking up speed, following what little noises she could hear down the long hallway. It almost felt freeing.

She was almost smiling by the end of it. She skidded to a stop just short of Gia, scrabbling against the wall to not completely fall over and eat shit, panting just on instinct. Her face was flushed. The door behind Gia was open and Bex's eyes focused into the room. "Are-- are those--" her mouth dropped open. "Are those actual Mayan vases?"

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Thank you," She gave Bex a small nod as she stepped inside. Following the other woman into the living room, she slowly moved to sit down at the edge of the couch, maintaining a respectful distance from the newly turned vampire. "Yes. I'd imagine you wouldn't. Not many would expect to die, I suppose, nor would they truly know where to begin to understand what it would be like to expect to stay dead..." Meena scrunched her nose slightly at the thought before she exhaled a breath. "I choose this life for myself. When I was younger than you, actually. But Teddy had never wanted to turn me. He put off the process until I was eight and twenty- sorry, twenty-eight, and while I wish I could say I had known what I was getting myself into, I was sorely mistaken. This isn't an easy life to live. But it is a life, and there are many wonders in it. There is a whole world out there filled with incredible cities, art, music, and yes, hunters, but there is a whole life at there at your fingertips. And while I might never know what it is like to have this life chosen for you, I did turn alone. My late husband left me screaming out in pain as I completed the transition. I think he was rather hoping the change would kill me. So... while I'm not sure I would say it was nice of me to check up on you, I hope you know, I would never have had you go through this alone." She knew Bex had been surrounded by loved ones and, now, she'd have all of the support if she were to ask for it.

"Now," Meena sat back as she told Bex, "We can get into the Clan details, if you'd like? I'd hardly want to keep you without a daylight ring if you're sure about joining, but before that, can I ask you something?" Her voice was no more than a faint murmur as she genuinely asked the young vampire, "You've been given a second chance at life. It might not be the life you wanted, but it is yours to do with it what you will, so what would you like, love?"

[illputabexonyou]

Bex kept hold of her pillow, curling in on it more the longer Meena spoke. She was trying to take it all in fairly, to listen to what everyone was telling her, about how this was a second chance, about how this could be something good, eventually. Maybe not right away, maybe not even anytime soon, but eventually. She was trying. That didn't meant she was succeeding. Her grip tightened just ever so. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, "that you had to go through that alone." She still remembered how awful the transition had been. How painful. How much she'd wished she'd just die or had stayed dead while it happened. How much the thought still stuck around in her head, even now. She was trying her best to make sure those thoughts never surfaced.

Bex shrugged. "Go for it." The question gave her pause, though. Before this, before she'd died and come back, Bex had a million answers for that question. She wanted to travel. She wanted to go to college and study archaeology. She wanted to go to a dig site herself, in person. She wanted to fall in love, maybe get married. She wanted to make a real life for herself, outside of the conditions of her upbringing and the fear that had followed her ever since. Most of all, she wanted to choose for herself. Now, all of that felt pointless. Objectively, she knew everything she wanted was possible as this, as a vampire. And, objectively, it wasn't even the vampire part of the equation that made her feel hopeless. Her eyes stung again. "I'd like to just be me again," she finally answered, "I just getting good at magic, you know? I finally had a life. A good one! One that I chose and made for myself. One that no one but me controlled. And now it's like...It's like I'm back at square one. Again. It's like I'm not me anymore."

[jonahxrivas]

He hesitated for a moment, then quietly stepped off the porch and lowered himself into the grass a few feet away from her, not close enough to crowd her, but close enough that she wouldn't feel entirely alone unless she wanted to be. "Yeah," he said softly, drawing one knee up as he rested an arm over it. "But it's yours too. It's suddenly not going to change even if things feel like they've changed. You're still you." Jonah's expression softened further when she tucked herself away again like she was trying to disappear. "When Rohan became a werewolf, I didn't see him as someone different. Same with when I saw Brie was alive and a vampire. Circumstances changed, not the person, at least not to me."

[illputabexonyou]

It was a nice sentiment. Bex was still unsure if she agreed, because she certainly didn't feel like the same person. She felt foreign and wrong in her own body. Again. Every sound and sensation was so loud. Even her clothes made her feel uncomfortable sometimes now, the fibers of the stiffer fabrics so much more prominent as they rubbed on her skin. It made her feel nauseous with it, sometimes. Even her blanket, that first night, had made her feel like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. She'd always been sensitive to things like that, anyway. This all just made it one-hundred times worse. "I know," she said eventually. "It's just...nothing feels the same." She lifted her hands and put them over the muffs on her ears. "I don't feel the same."

[swimmingwiththefitzes]

If Bex says that she doesn't want Billie to go, then Billie's just going to have to trust her. She doesn't think Bex would lie to her about this. She settled against the wall, watching the door but not expecting it to open, even with the thermos waiting. It never did while she was there.

"I know." She knew Bex didn't want this. Selfishly, though, Billie preferred this to the alternative. It was a series of conflicting feelings; being happy that Bex was still alive while upset that something like this had happened, knowing that it made Bex miserable but so grateful that she still had Bex in her life. Even if it felt like they were far apart. Everything was awful. Billie couldn't imagine losing Bex along with it. Still. "I'm sorry, too."

Billie let the silence sink over them for a few minutes. She'd never been uncomfortable with silence, not even with Bex, but the two of them were usually together. Now, there was literally a wall separating them. "Do you need anything? I brought... I left a thermos next to the door if you want to grab it."

[illputabexonyou]

Bex wanted nothing more than to rip open her door and see Billie. To fall into her arms and hold her and be held. Her body felt compelled towards it, pressing harder into the door behind her. But she knew she couldn't do that, not right now. Not when she was still so new to this, so unsure. So dangerous. She swallowed. "To be alive again," she said, bitter. It wasn't at Billie, just the situation. Maybe a little at Ronnie (a lot at Ronnie). And she couldn't say the other version. That would make Billie too sad. (But god did she want to say. She hated that she couldn't say it, that it made everyone around her freeze and stop breathing for a moment, as if they were just waiting for her to snap).

Another sigh. "Sorry," she mumbled again, "that's not fair. I don't need anything right now." That was kind of a lie. She did need to eat. She didn't want to. She needed Billie the most. "Just...talk to me? How's um, how's your job going? And the town? Has anyone figured out what happened at the masquerade?"

[emiraarduenna]

Emira would be the first to admit she was not good with relationships of any kind. Romantic, familial, platonic, you name it, she had complications with it. The common denominator was always her. As a child, her father and stepmother had deemed her a difficult child. A lack of connection from them had Emira seeking out something from others. Some sort of reciprocated affection to prove she was worthy of it and maybe, just maybe, prove her family wrong. That she wasn't hard to love or be around.

But of course, when you spent your whole life evading getting close to people in fear of them finding fault in you, it was hard to prove her point. Lunar Cove had been a fresh start in many ways. There was a permanence to it that she had never known. This town could actually be a home to her, which meant she had to put forth an effort into the relationship she was creating.

She had been told that Lunar Cove was not what it seemed. Normally, she would take that advice with a grain of salt. Every small town had secrets. That's what made them so charming. The secrets that Lunar Cove held weren't exactly endearing, more so dangerous. What she saw at the masquerade ball was unlike anything she had ever seen. Sometimes it still felt like a dream, or better yet, a nightmare, to the witch. She wondered why her mom would ever send her to a town like this. What did this lady know that she didn't? At this point, Emira was convinced the woman who was never around had sent her on a death wish.

Once the chaos had settled, Emira had heard what had happened to Bex. They had talked and texted after their Bao Time adventure. The witch had grown fond of Bex, so of course, she wanted to check in on her. Though Emira questioned if she had overestimated their friendship when Bex opened the door. "Bex, hey," Was it cool to check on someone you hardly know out of the blue? Was this overstepping? Emira didn't know. Her mind was now swimming with thoughts, and she was never one to overthink any situation. "I just wanted to check and see how you were. I brought some movies and a blanket ... for comfort. I feel comfort might be .. and an important thing right now, yanno?" She sucked on her teeth awkwardly. "Or I can leave it on the porch and give you space. I'm cool with that too."

[illputabexonyou]

Still a little confused, Bex stayed where she was, not opting to undo the chain lock quite yet. It wasn't that she was unhappy to see Emira, she just hadn't really expected it. Bex was learning new things every day, like that people got really weird and nice after they found out you died. It almost made her feel nice. Except for the part where she died, the reminder that always pulled back any good feelings she had at the moment. Bex's eyes flicked down to the offered movie and blanket. Her hand gripped the door tightly. She felt like she could basically feel the magic thrumming inside of Emira, crackling along her skin. Bex's insides tingled. She almost wanted to reach out and touch. She pulled her hand back. "I...you shouldn't be around me right now," she finally said, the shame evident in her expression. "I'm dangerous."

[jonahxrivas]

Jonah slowed the moment he noticed the way she tensed. He tried not to react to it outwardly, though something about seeing her curl further into herself made his expression drop from the neutral look he had worn to something more of a concern. He knew the change would be overwhelming in ways that was impossible to fully know unless you lived through it yourself. But knowing that intellectually and actually seeing it were two very different things. Seeing her sit there with her shoulders drawn tight, flinching at sounds, pulled at something helpless in him.

"No, it's fine," he said softly, stopping a few feet away rather than coming any closer. "You were here first... but..." His gaze flicked briefly toward the sky, toward the sunlight filtering through the yard. "Do you want me to put up more shade? We've got those big beach umbrellas." He leaned lightly against the porch railing, hands slipping into his pockets as he looked to her. "I can go back inside too if you want me to? Or call Rohan even, if you want his company? I'm not trying to disturb your peace. Just came to see if you wanted anything."

[illputabexonyou]

Bex glanced over at him sideways. "This is fine," she said, staying curled in her ball, "there's enough shade." It wasn't like she needed much shade, tucked into herself like this. She wasn't about to unfurl and lay out, anyway, even if there was more shade. She just wanted to be outside, where she could feel the air on her skin and the heat from the sun, even if she wasn't directly in it.

Everything felt weird, awkward. Not right. Just like her. She didn't want this to ruin her home, her family. She tucked her head in, not wanting Jonah to see her eyes tearing up. "You're not bothering me," she muttered. "This is your house."

[rohanxpersaudx]

Straightening himself up, as though making a genuine effort to look like he had been eavesdropping decidedly less than he had actually been eavesdropping, Rohan offered a smile. "Uh...I don't know. Any requests? Maybe But I'm a Cheerleader. I know. I know. It's a cliché, but...it's pink. And bright. And I don't know if I have Citizen Kane in me right now." He gave a weak shrug of his shoulders.

Meeting her eye, then, Rohan bit his lip. "Do you...do you wanna talk about it? We don't have to. We can just watch the movie. It can be a whole sleepover or whatever. We can build a fort and tell Jonah he's not allowed inside. Or I can try to get him to dress up like Eddie Cibrian. I love him, but I have the sense when I was cultivating taste as a teenager, he was watching NOVA."

[illputabexonyou]

Bex eyed him, not scrutinizing, but enough to let him know she knew he was listening in. There wasn't much to hear on her end, just the shuffle of furniture or books, knickknacks being rearranged. "I've never seen that before," she admitted, then, pulling the door open a little wider. She knew of the movie, what self-respecting lesbian didn't? Well, that was stretch for her, but of course she knew what it was about. She'd just never gotten around to watching it.

She frowned. What was there to talk about? She'd died, she'd come back. It was the most painful experience of her entire life, both physically and mentally. And that was saying a lot, considering everything else in her pathetic life. "NOVA was fun to watch," she said, finally slipping out of her room. She left the door open. "But I do think we should build a fort. 'No fish nerds allowed'."

[swimmingwiththefitzes]

Billie didn't think she'd slept in days. She barely left Rohan and Jonah's, she couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten a proper meal. She'd cleaned off. She'd changed her clothes. She'd seen the strange mess that had become her body, the effects that didn't just wear off now that whatever drug she'd been given was out of her body.

But she still didn't want to leave. She'd left some of that Veronica had brought, heated and in a thermos, near Bex's door before leaning against the wall. "You don't sound feral right now," she muttered, knowing that Bex could hear her.

Then, she added, "If you want me to leave, then tell me to."

[illputabexonyou]

Bex didn't feel feral, either, but that could all change in the blink of an eye. Just one wrong move, one accidental scratch, one whiff of irresistible fae blood and Bex, a newborn vampire, would likely fly off the handle and attack her girlfriend. And it wasn't that she didn't think Billie could handle herself-- no, Bex was more than sure Billie could have her on the floor in a headlock in the blink of an eye-- it was that Bex didn't want to put her in the position to have to defend herself. She knows it would tear Billie apart to have to do that, to have to restrain and possibly even hurt Bex, all because Bex couldn't control herself like this.

And gods, was she so fucking tired of not having any control. She'd just been getting good at magic, at controlling her magic, and now she was back at square zero. It was frustrating, so incredibly frustrating that the idea brought tears to her eyes every time it came up. Ones she furiously wiped away now, too.

"I don't want you to leave," Bex finally answered, scooting towards the door and pressing her back to it. Like this, she could almost pretend Billie was sitting next to her. "I'm sorry. Everything is just-- sucks. It just sucks." She curled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. "I didn't want this."

[cantfightmoonlight]

Meena stopped midstep from where she had approached the house with an edible arrangement in hand. Her eyes widened slightly as she moved to place the basket down on the porch, before she turned back toward the young witch now vampire and told her softly, "This is for your roommates, while as for you, I was actually here to check in. The transition isn't exactly easy, and I can imagine it was even more jarring for you," She whispered softly over to Bexley. "Would you like to invite me in? You don't have to. We can carry on with this conversation through the crack in the door, but given that the sun isn't exactly your friend right now and I can't exactly enter without an invitation, it may be for the best?"

"I'm also not exactly sure what spiel you were given, but I promise you, I didn't come here to recruit. I came here to offer my condolences and my support. I would've come sooner, but you're not the first newly turned vampire who sees me and instantly thinks I'm trying to solicit. That and I also knew you had plenty of loved ones around you for when you woke up and didn't want to be an unwanted presence. I wanted to give you at least a day or so to grieve, I suppose."

[illputabexonyou]

"Jarring is a word for it, sure." Bex just nodded, watching Meena place the fruit basket down. Jarring seemed a little underwhelming, honestly. More like devastating. Discordant. Disturbing. Any other 'D' word that meant shocked beyond belief. Betrayed. Oh, that was a good one. Bex felt that one the strongest.

She stared out at Meena for another beat before relenting and opening the door. She figured Rohan and Jonah wouldn't be upset with her for inviting the vampire clan leader into their home. And honestly, at the moment, she didn't really care if they didn't. Which just made her feel guilty, too. The ugly cocktail of emotions inside of her making her nauseous still, since the moment she'd woken up. "You can come in, Meena," she invited formally, stepping aside.

With that, she turned and walked towards the living room where she'd been and plopped down. Grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her like a safety blanket. It grounded her to have something to hold, especially when things still didn't feel real. "Thanks for coming," she finally said, "it was nice of you to check up on me." It wasn't like the Coven supreme had ever spared her anything even half as thoughtful as a check in like this. Bex crinkled her nose. "I guess I don't really know what I was expecting."

[illputabexonyou]

with: Gia ( @gazingatmestarry-eyed) where: Caffeine Crypt

After nearly a month of refusing to leave the house aside from the occasional sit out back or on the porch, Bex's first real foray out into the real world again was going okay. She stayed close to home at first, but the more she stayed outside, the more she realized her limbs were buzzing and begging for her to keep moving. And so she walked almost all the way downtown before realizing where she was, turning around, and heading back towards Sunny Harbor, towards home.

Along the way, though, she paused at the sight of the coffee shop she'd passed a hundred times before without much thought. It was in an older building, a piece of history itself, but the appeal of it hadn't been for people like her back then. Now, however, she was the expected type of clientele.

Hesitantly, Bex crossed the road and pushed the door open, listening to the soft chime of the bell above the door. The smell hit her immediately and she almost turned and ran back out of the cafe, but before she could, someone else was shouldering their way in behind her and she stumbled forward, pausing at the counter. Her eyes scanned the menu but everything sounded...wrong. Blood this, blood that. Bex felt sick to her stomach again, even if she mouth watered at the thought. The disparity of what her body wanted and what her mind did still hadn't caught up to each other, the idea of eating blood still sending Bex's stomach into a plummet.

Eventually, she found the courage to order something, mostly because the barista behind the counter was glaring at her. She ordered one without blood, though, unable to fathom the thought of drinking it in public. Still a little out of place, she sat in a booth in the corner, hands wrapped protectively around her cup. Not only did she feel out of place, despite being a vampire now, too, she must've looked out of place, fingers tapping nervously against the paper of her cup, eyes darting left and right. She sipped her coffee and shrank back into her chair, hoping to somehow make herself smaller, despite being curled up as much as possible already.

[rohanxpersaudx]

"I'm just checking if you needed anything, honey." Standing in the darkened hallway, Rohan had pressed himself up against the bedroom door to give a gentle rap with his fist. These past few days, he felt, in truth, like a phantom, darting about out of sight but never too far away, close enough to be a known but unobtrusive presence. Bex needed space; he was doing his best to respect that need.

He had, of course, needed it too after his bite. One required solitude as a foundation for reinvention, and reinvention was arduous. The loss of magic, the sort of thing a witch could knot around their very personhood, was a difficult reality, even when said magic was not always pristine. "I was thinking of maybe watching a movie if you wanted to come down for a bit? No pressure."

The house itself felt heavy, and Rohan found himself acutely aware of that fact. The sensation was not Bex's fault, but this haven against the darkness was proving not quite the citadel for which he had hoped. The troubles of Lunar Cove always left their mark, one way or another. "Jonah should be home soon. You can give us a yell if you need anything, okay?"

[illputabexonyou]

Maybe she was acting like a petulant child, but Bex had never gotten to be one, so could she really be blamed? And dying really did seem like a good time to finally exercise the right to act that way, broody and upset and annoyed. Not that she felt any of that towards Rohan, of course, and her entire body seemed to relax at the softness of her words. Sometimes, she still expected anger and yelling. Vitriol aimed her way just for existing. Her body braced for it without her permission. But it never ended up that way. The people in her life were continually kind and caring and gentle with her, even if she was acting like a brat. It still made her tear up sometimes.

She moved to scrub them from her face. She knew Rohan was doing his best and right now he was really the only person she wanted to be around. Sliding off the bed, she padded over to her door and opened it slowly, looking out at Rohan. "What movie?"

[illputabexonyou]

"That would be nice," Bex mumbled, nodding in agreement. Then again, Bex was sure, even if she wasn't a woman, she'd still apologize for her mere existence. It was just something that she'd been born with-- or maybe it had been beaten into her. Either way, shew felt sorry just for breathing, sometimes. Bex laughed, short and simple. "Of all the sirens I've met, yeah, they do all seem to be pretty um, hardheaded." That was certainly one word for it. She grinned. "Guess we're all kind of shut ins, then."

Bex scuffed the toe of her boot on the ground a little, shrugging. It was nice to hear, she thought, but that didn't mean she believed it. Bex wanted to be brave, but she knew she wasn't. She was working on it. It was slow going.

"I'll be twenty five in July," Bex nodded. She listened carefully to Meena's words, taking them in, letting them settle in between her ribs. She felt like she understood them better than most, probably. Bex was no leader, she hadn't chosen to do anything, least of all die and become something permanent-- but she could understand what it meant to become what everyone thought you were. To try as hard as you could to be what everyone needed of you. That was the majority of her life, up until she'd found herself alone and afraid with blood on her hands. Even after that, all she'd wanted was a place to fit in, a place to be. And so she'd done whatever was needed of her, whatever was asked. She became whatever was the easiest to swallow. And now she was here. She wished she had something to say to make it all better. "For what it's worth, I think you're a good leader. Ronnie says you're scary, which, I mean, she's kinda right. But I think she's much better off in the clan, now, too." Bex returned the easy smile. "Umm, Shield construction, Eidetic memory, astral projection. And I guess I got telekinesis when I joined the coven." Which she still sucked at. She thought she'd probably always suck at it, really.

[cantfightmoonlight]

"Guess so," Meena hummed under her breath. "So young," She observed, even if she had been getting married and turning into a vampire around the same age herself. Choices that she hadn't fully grasped the weight of back when she had made them. "Thank you. That's kind of you to say and ah, well, it seems most people in town find me to be quite 'scary'. A sentiment that I still struggle to fully grasp, but I'm not sure if there is really much to be done about it either, and ah. Well, I can't help all too much when it comes to light magic. I took after the dark magic affinity myself once upon a time and current can only wield the dark affinity as a vampire, but I can try my best?" She offered up.

[illputabexonyou]

END.