where is your god now? ⁽ ᵃᵖ ⁾

be wary, o' lord, of the hound you leash

[illvolition-blog]

srry for not being here. i have suspicion to believe my abuser is stalking me again, especially with the evidence on who was on my blog last night sooooo i’ve been kinda just waiting to see if he’ll leave me the fuck alone yet or what lmfao

[illvolition-blog]

hey uh. im not gonna be on tumblr today. 

so since ive been home my family has been really really abusive. i mean it’s 100x worse than it was last year, namely coming from my mother. it’s been taking a toll on me and, while i’ve been trying to stay positive, with the events of today and how damn suicidal i’ve been feeling, im gonna finish a commission and that’s it. i wanna lie in bed and sleep. maybe take a shower. i just need a day to myself and for myself. i have a frat bro and his gf coming down sometime this week bc they’re concerned for my health, and im helping my sister move into her new apartment so just. being around so many people, and then having to work a 10 hr shift tomorrow @ amazon, i just want a day to myself. thank you for understanding. im super sorry that i keep putting asks and replies off, im just. mentally bleh. please be safe, and have a good day!

[corruptlegacy-deactivated201802]

                       MY THOUGHTS BE BLOODY, OR NOTHING WORTH.

                           supreme leader kylo ren.    written by vera.

[illvolition-blog]

im still lowkey dying from this cold and depression(tm) from being back home, but im gonna try my best to finish up most of my icons today so i can get to replies / asks. love u guys. smooches !

[illvolition-blog]

rules updated

VOIDED. go have a peek while i go lay down and try to sleep off this cold or flu or whatever it is. see you all tomorrow !

[illvolition-blog]

                                        established 2015 / previously fracturedson / written by kylo

[illvolition-blog]

on the subject of the past

there’s a lot in here. about me, my past, ex-friends, and the lot. please read so you understand some of these issues.

1. let’s get this one out of the way. zex / kyle / zen / lilian / euri / hades - my abuser from swrp to begin with. no, i have not forgiven him, but i have forgot about him. however, anything that happens w/ him i.e interaction from those i follow will incur a softblock / block itself. i have a callout for him on another blog, and am not afraid of it.

2. i am zam, but i go by kylo. as you know, i defended my friend leia / ally @ aldeeranheir during a debacle that went down with her. however, come to recent terms with what happened, i admit i trusted her blindly and defended her immediately bc of that trust. her help through my rough times instilled within me a false belief that she could do no wrong, and with her mental state as bad as it was, i thought the attack was unfounded. while there are still accusations about her that i do not belief in, there are some i have come to see as true. that being said, i repeat i no longer associate myself with her, no do i wish to. as far as i’m concern, she’s someone i talk to over text every now and again, and have no inclination to keep it as anything more. she’s hurt people, and i see that. that does NOT excuse my behaviour previously, however. my actions were wrong and misguided, but they were still my own. if anyone has any grievances about this part of my past, i am willing to speak and tell you my honest apology.  3. once again, if you have something to say to me, say it to me. that’s all i ask. no conflict, no vagueing. just shoot me a message. it’s the easiest way. thank you.

[queeenpersephone]

 @ptvlemy requested: the leviathan 

[illvolition-blog]

                                        established 2015 / previously fracturedson / written by kylo

[illvolition-blog]

THEME RECONSTRUCTION = DONE ! 

now onto icons >:3c

[illvolition-blog]

i love seeing people defend a redemption for kylo ren w/ bullshit. and then i love seeing people call it an ‘’ unpopular ‘’ idea. newsflash: the entire fandom wants their ‘’ precious boy ‘’ to be saved. surprise, he’s not gonna. and i have a full fcking meta on why so please, let me enlighten you.

[illvolition-blog]

@ruinwing cause we’re gay

THERE ARE STORIES OF THOSE BORN WITH WINGS WHO FALL TOO FAST BEFORE THEY’VE LIVED. those who look outwards with hope soon dashed, happiness foreign but eyes dry and scowl   /   sneer   /   snarl set forever in the bones across simplistic, empty architecture   ;   a house built from dirt & ash & pain yet laced with nothing but fire. (   DIDN’T THEY TELL YOU, CHILD, THAT FIRE BURNS ALL WITHOUT REMORSE ?   )          not even God is spared from the flames.

                  ‘   fight.   ‘   laden steps echo heavy within the chamber, dimly lit as light remains nearly nonexistent. a pause as gaze roams across this figure of a man, bent forward onto knees as wrists are bound   /   shackled, disallowing any forgiveness for the bruise that throbs & pangs beneath his eyes. (   DIDN’T ANYONE EVER TELL YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH FIRE ?   )

quiet. movement ceases, hush decorating the air between them. will you speak, little dove? will you defy your master one more time? there’s nothing, the sound of minimal breathing suddenly, irrevocably, too much and not enough. LOOK INTO THE FACE OF YOUR GOD AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS                     !

            ‘   FIGHT !   ‘   louder, enraged. fangs bare and features contort (   THE TRUE FACE OF DIVINITY REVEALED.   ) blade illuminates, cardinal haze & hue washing over them as if the blood they both have spilt. it crests over the black hair of the other, catching across skin unnaturally, visage more monstrosity than vitality. it extends menacingly, as if to intimidate, yet actions are not merely a threat               they remain a reminder of what can and what will become.   ‘   the first order doesn’t care for useless soldiers.   ‘   (   THE DIVINE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE ON THE UNREPENTANT.   )

[serophs]

abstractedfocus :

i. you are dream-filled and you are drifting, a reflection of the gold-gilded boy with white wax wings, clutching at sunbeams even as the weight of your own folly drags you down; neither wisdom nor prudence has ever been your crime.

ii. you are angry and you are aimless, a memory of a divinity, all poisonous smiles and a golden apple balanced on your fingertips. this world is burning silk, chipped marble, guilt, and the absence of another choice is all you’ve ever known.

iii. you are wronged and you are repenting, a shadow kneeling at underground shores: mind full of howling, palms outstretched and ready to leave (refreshed and clean and without a single memory of who you were, what you’d done, at all).

iv. you are fighting and you are finished, a dust mote testing for divine wrath — searching in futility for proof or purpose or someone whose rage to blame rather than your own — and asking a silent sky, are there gods, and do they deserve us?

— faith: in which a story tells of only one reality │ abstractedfocus

[illvolition-blog]

THERE WILL BE NO MIRACLES HERE. there will be no bowed heads, God answering prayers as if kindness were the ichor within his blood. BEHOLD HE WHO STANDS WITH SANCTIFIED FLAMES, he who kneels before the altar and accepts the thorns that pierce skin & bone & soul alike. where is your god now? and he whispers   ‘’   is this what it means to be holy ?   ‘’   //   no, child. this is what it means to be condemned.

[illvolition-blog]

he look like he just cried away his eyeliner damn boi

[illvolition-blog]

ya boi back at it again w/ the nice dark icons

[illvolition-blog]

AhHhhhHhhhHHHHHHHH

this is the sort of reaction i hoped for on my return