Illyrian Adventures

Allowing requests Fanart is not mine

[lgnite-me]

Thank you so much for this prompt! I’m so sorry it took so long I had a bunch of midterms. Please enjoy and feel free to drop any more prompt asks!!

Prompt: A rare soft Nesian moment before they’re together and Nesta lets cassian comfort her. Maybe Feyre catches part of the exchange and is proud of the changes she sees in her sister.

For some context this takes place during acosf after solstice but before the rite.

(Also pls note that this is unedited)

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Training that day had been rough. Nesta had never felt so tired. Cassian and Azriel had pushed her and the other Valkyrie's to the breaking point. Not that she would ever admit it to them. Cassian had just returned from the Illyrian Camps after their night together on solstice, and although she had been confused, she understood that their relationship was purely physical. Perhaps something had shifted since that night, but Nesta wasn’t going to push it or him.

Walking back down to the house from the training ring, Nesta carefully watched her steps as she was prone to fall over any minute. Bath, book, then bed seemed like a solid plan. Gritting her teeth through her sore muscles, Nesta finally made it to her bedroom hallway. Strangely enough the hallway was fuzzy.

I need sleep, she thought.

Wait, no. That was her.

Suddenly the world tilted and Nesta found herself looking at the side of the wall. Then everything went black

**

Cassian was in love. His night with Nesta had been the most euphoric experience of his life. He could feel the tangible bond that had snapped between them that night, but he knew that Nesta wasn’t ready for the truth that he held. He had run off to the camps so that she wouldn’t suspect, and so far he thought he’d done a damned good job of hiding it. Today in training, he might have been a bit too harsh on her, but he wanted more than ever now for her to know to defend herself. His strong, beautiful mate.

“Get a grip,” he grumbled shaking his head.

He walked down the House of Wind intending to take a nice cold bath when he stopped dead in his tracks. There, lying in the hallway, was Nesta.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Idiot, he thought, gods damned idiot for pushing her so hard.

Quickly he scooped her up and carefully carried her to the couch in the living room, lying her down. He grabbed a cold cloth, and some food and water magically appeared at the tableside. He sent up a quick thank you to the house before beginning to dab the washcloth over her forehead.

“C’mon, Nes,” he whispered. Slowly, her eyes started to open. “There you are.”

She looked up at him with those beautiful gray eyes and Cassian couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“It seems as though it's my fault you passed out, so I only thought it fair that I take care of you.”

Nesta pursed her lips as though contemplating.

“Please.” He wasn’t above begging.

He saw her soften and knew that she would accept his help. The mating bond shimmered in contentment, but Cassian didn’t know if she felt it too.

“Here, have some food. It was the house, not me”, he explained. A breeze blew by as though the house was content with their recognition.

“Thank you.” Nesta whispered up to the ceiling.

“Rest, Nes” he said. And she did, letting him take care of her. Cassian knew it wouldn’t last, but he would take what he could get.

**

Feyre was determined to check on Nesta. Cassian had left for the camps and she had meant to make sure Nesta was doing alright, but her pregnancy had prevented her from getting up there. Finally having a moment to herself, she winnowed up to the House of Wind and walked into the house expecting to need to go in search of her. Instead, she found something even more peculiar. Lying on the couch was her sister, her head in Cassian’s lap, with Cassian carefully dabbing a cloth on her forehead and feeding her bites of food.

Feyre was too stunned to move. She didn’t want to alert them of her presence since it seemed like such an intimate moment. She couldn’t help but marvel at the way Nesta's head rested gently in his lap and the relaxed expression on her face. Never had Feyre seen her sister so unguarded. Perhaps Cassian truly was able to help her. Feyre was glad. Nesta needed that, and she was proud of the fact that she had learned to trust in someone like that. Maybe it wasn’t Feyre that Nesta trusted, but at least she had someone.

Careful not to make any noise, Feyre turned back around and winnowed away.

[illyrian-adventures]

ALITF Theory

I think that Ector has something to do with Hamid trying to kill Sera because he shatters Hamids soul before could speak to him. Also in FBAA Aios, Sion, Nektas, Bele, Rhain, Rhahar, Theon and Laila are all mentioned as asleep or were asleep with Nyktos and Sera but there is no mention of Ector in any of the FBAA books. Im guessing he either dies or pulls an Alastir.

[illyrian-adventures]

Well this didn’t age well :/

[illyrian-adventures]

Mental Health Day

Gwyn is late for her dagger lesson and Azriel goes to find out why. He comforts her while she cries it out and decides to have a sick day with her.

It was already 10 minutes past dawn and it was unlike Gwyn to be late to her morning dagger lesson with the shadowsinger. They were both extremely competitive about beating each other to the training ring each morning. Azriel began to worry and tried to remind himself that she probably just overslept. After the blood rite Gwyn decided that she wanted to take the next step toward recovery and move out of the library. Since growing up in a temple at Sangravah her life was always somewhat sheltered but she has been working on healing, one day she hopes to have her own job and apartment in the city. For the time being Gwyn is staying in Nesta’s old room. Nesta and Cassian moved into his room since he has a bed built for illyrian wings.

Az continued waiting for five more minutes, pacing around the practice ring. After waiting in silence he decided to walk down into the house to check on her. Az sends his shadows to searching for her while trying to shut down his instincts wanting to tear apart the whole house. He often feels protective over her and has never mentioned to any of his friends the primal rage that has been buried in him since seeing Gwyn tied to the table in Sangravah. He even asked Mor to welcome her into the library under the house of wind knowing she would be safe there.

Az goes utterly still when he hears muffled cries coming from the other side of Gwynn door.

“Gwyn” Azriel said softly, not wanting to startle her and began knocking lightly against the door frame.

After another moment trying again with no answer he began to panic. His mind starts to wander, worry filling his system that she injured herself and was unable to move. Azriel began to open the door to check on her. What he did not expect was to see Gwyn seated on the window alcove with her back to him. He can hear small gasps and tiny wimpers coming from her.

Wondering what he should do, Azriel stands there for a moment staring at her with the strong urge to run over, wrap his arms around her and tell her everything is going to be alright. He wants to have that kind of relationship where her problems are his problems. The last thing he wants to do is scare her considering she hasn't even noticed him walking in and it’s her own private space. He doesn't want her to feel like she doesn't have a place to seek solace. He just wished she knew she could always come and find it in him but he knew better than anyone how hard it was to come forward with things that haunt you.

“Gwyn” Azriel speaks softly.

She immediately freezes and tries to hide that she has been crying trying to come up with what to say. Something inside her tells her that it's okay and that Az would never judge her but she can't bring herself to say anything.

“Gwyn, what's wrong?” Azriel says softly while kneeling on the ground beside her. She turns and sees his eyes filled with worry. He reaches up with his scarred hand and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. This is the first time they have interacted with each other alone outside of their morning training ritual.

“I'M SO SORRY! I lost track of time. I will be right up in 10 minutes if it's alright. I am sorry for wasting your time, shadowsinger. I hope you are not upset with me.” She frantically hops up stumbling and landing on him. Az grabs her waist situating her so that her back is pressed gently into his chest. He knows from personal experience it can be easier to open up when you are not staring at someone. His biggest concern is Gwyn's comfort; he leaves her positioned so she can easily leave his grasp if she doesn’t feel comfortable.

“Gwyn, don't worry about it. I hope you know I would never be upset with you. Especially when I can tell you have a lot going on. Has someone been giving you a hard time lately? I don't want you to be too hard on yourself.”

“I'm sorry I just don't like inconveniencing people. I really did not want to be late. I try not to mess up. Lately it has been especially hard. Merrill will yell at me or send a wind storm my way if I make a mistake even if I correct it she will scent that it was not done right the first time. You’re supposed to be one of the deadliest warriors in all of Prythian and are a kitty cat compared to how she is.”

“One, I am Prythians deadliest warrior. Unless you think you can take me.” Az said with a smirk. He raised his scarred hand and began making long soothing strokes down her arm trying to calm her. “And two, Merrill should not be allowed to speak to you that way. The library is supposed to be a sanctuary for healing. It is not meant to add to your worries. I will have Rhys talk to Clotho about her behavior. I'm sorry that's happening Gwyn.”

“No! Please dont tell him. I don't want her to have any more reason to be upset with me. She has increased my workload since I decided to move into the house of wind. I can't stop wondering if maybe this was a mistake. If I would have just stayed in the library with my head down these things would not be happening.” Tears continue to trail down her face. Azriel pulls her tighter against his body tucking her head beneath his chin.

“Gwyn, this isn't the first time this has happened. I know Nesta has mentioned the way Merrill treats you is not okay and we will do our best to make sure that this doesn’t keep happening. Don’t believe for one second Berdara that you were not meant to leave the library. I am so proud of you for how far you have come since the day I found you. I watched you conquer everything you have put your mind to including the Blood Rite and that's a huge accomplishment in itself only a handful can call themselves Carynithian out of the thousands that have spent their lives preparing for it. You are powerful, courageous and strong. Do not let anyone make you believe you are not enough. You are perfect.”

Gwyn stayed silent for a moment processing what Azriel said. She was not used to letting anyone see her when he is upset but she always felt naturally calm around the shadowsinger. “Thank you, the last person that told me they were proud of me was Catrin, my sister and I really needed to hear that. I am proud of you Az. You have so many amazing accomplishments. I hope one day I can make a difference like you have. You did save me after all. I just hope even if you don't feel special you’re the reason I am here today. I just want you to know that.” He let the weight sink in. She reached out and took his scarred hand in hers giving him a gentle squeeze. He could not remember the last time anyone said anything so wonderful about him. Most people think he is a soulless villain. She turned and looked up at his face, seeing his eyes cloudy with tears, reaching up with her other hand to wipe them off.

“Thank you Berdara.” Az leaned down and placed a kiss on her temple. Her body shuddered at the contact snuggling closer into his warmth. “Do you want to have a sick day with me? I think we all can use one every once and a while.”

“What do you have in mind? I dont want to keep you from your work and I know you’re supposed to help Cassian-”

“Don’t worry about them, love. Cassian can handle the priestesses today. I will have Rhys let Clotho know you won't be in the Library this afternoon. You need a break from it for today. A sick day is when we go to the private library on the third floor reading and having the house pamper us with all kinds of treats while we stay in our sleeping clothes all day. Just because you’re not physically injured doesn’t mean we shouldn't take a mental day break. I haven't had a sick day in a few thousand years.”

“That sounds amazing. As long as I am not intruding. Thank you shadowsinger.”

“Of course not Berdara, you are always welcome. Today, tomorrow and everyday. Please come to me the next time you feel down.”

“Thank you shadowsinger, the same goes for you too.”  Gwyn smiled.

Rhys.

Everything alright, brother?

Having a sick day today. I will have my spies reach out if any issues arise. They should be all taken care of.

Are you sure you’re alright? I can’t remember the last time you took a day off.

Positive. Also can you let Clotho know Gywn won't be in the library today for personal reasons and Merrill needs to be spoken to again about how she treats a certain red head.

I will swing by the library this afternoon and see what I can do. Enjoy your day off Az. I have hope for you brother this will all work out. Azriel could almost see the knowing grin on his brother's face.

Az stood up taking Gwyn with him in one swift motion heading towards the library. He sat them down on one of the plush chaises big enough for illyrian wings. The house covered them with a soft blanket and Az began reading one of his favorite adventure novels. He picked up on it also being one of her favorites over the past few months,  

_________________________________

“CASS” Nesta shouted at him from across the training ring running towards him.

“What Nes? Is everything okay?” He frantically scans her body for injuries while tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“You have to see this! I never thought this was something I would see!”

“Okay just for a moment. Rhys let me know Az is having a sick day today and I don't want to leave the priestesses for too long.” Nesta grinned with a knowing look in her eyes.

She grabbed Cassian's hand tugging him with her. Stopping abruptly outside the library. “Shh. Okay? I went looking for Gwyn because I began to worry when she didn’t meet me at our usual breakfast time.” Cassian nodded and quietly followed Nesta into the library.

Cassian couldn't believe the sight in front of his eyes. Azriel was laying back on the chaise while Gwyn had her back flushed against his brother's chest, both of them sleeping. Azriel had his arms wrapped around her like he was holding onto the most precious treasure with his lips turned up at the corners. Shadows were shielding them in their own protective cocoon. He turned to Nesta and whispered “Az has never slept so deeply. He always wakes up the moment someone is on the same floor and I've never seen him so peaceful.”

She tilted her head towards the door heading out of the room before they woke either of them. Cassian followed and when he caught up to her in the hallway they faced each other with huge grins. “I have been waiting for this day! I knew he liked her.”  

[illyrian-adventures]

The Future

Kieran scents Poppy’s pregnancy before her or Casteel are aware. 

Poppy was walking through the shops in Evaemon with Kieran while Casteel was meeting with his generals. She enjoyed evening walks the city after the war with Kolis and the Aescended. She loved getting to know the shop owners and became friends with many of them. 

She was passing her favorite floral shop with that was on the corner of the busiest street in the city. The building was crafted of glittering white marble with perfectly spaced vines and lilac flowers adorning the sides. when Luthien the shop owner noticed her walking by. “Your Majesty” she said while quietly strolling towards poppy. “It is an honor to be in your presence, is there anything you would like as a gift from me to you.” 

“No, Thank you. Luthien the shop is beautiful. I love the vibrant fragrance coming off and drifting down the street.” 

She was standing there hair blowing in the breeze admiring the smell of the fresh florals. Kieran was also smelling the florals when he picked up a night blooming rose and tucked it in her ear. She saw his eyes go wide and heard bone crunching before looking down. Kieran was at her feet teeth bared at anyone walking by. She reached out her senses and could taste shock strongly in the back of her throat. 

She withdrew her wolven dagger searching for the invisible threat. Poppy followed the woodsy imprint down the notam. Kieran, whats happening?

Poppy, I am trying to fight the notam im sorry its too strong right now. Lets go back to the palace and get Cas where I can shift without all of these people around and I will explain. 

The way back was swift with Poppy confused as to what was making Kieran act so protective over her. The only other time he had such trouble fighting the notam was when she first came to Atlantia and the notam formed. 

She rode through the gates of the palace on Setti with Kieran next to her in his wolven form. She spotted Casteel walking towards her wearing black trousers and a white tunic with the top buttons open showing off his defined chest. 

Casteel approached his wife and Kieran coming up to his wife to help her off Setti. One step towards her and Kieran was baring his teeth at Casteel. He immediately noticed something was off. Casteel put his palms up and said to Kieran. “I do not want to hurt her I just want to help her off Setti.”

Poppy knew she would have to call him off reaching back down the notam. Kieran I order you to back off of Casteel. 

The wolven relaxed allowing Casteel to help her. I know im sorry Poppy. Lets go back to your quarters.

“Cas, Im not sure whats going on we were smelling flowers outside of Luthien’s shop when all of a sudden Kieran shifted and is unable to fight the notam. Lets go to our quarters he wanted you present when he explains.”

Cas grabbed her hand and led her up the palace steps towards their rooms on the east wing of the palace. She still couldn’t believe she lived here let alone being Queen of Atlantia and married to her heartmate.

As soon as they were in the sitting room of their chambers Kieran shifted back to his human form. Sitting across from Poppy and Casteel on a mint colored settee. A servant came in holding a large tray of fruits, cheeses and wine on the oak coffee table between them. Kieran eyed the servant carefully and Poppy knew he was still fighting the notam.

Casteel was the first one to speak up. “Kieran is everything all right.” The wolven looked up at him and poppy could taste the wonder and surprise coming off of Kieran the back of her throat. 

He was about to answer when he noticed Casteel pouring a glass of wine for Poppy and said; “Wait, Poppy I think you should have some water. We had a long walk and it’s important you stay hydrated.”

“Thank you for your concern Kieran, but wine please.” She turned to Casteel. Who was giving Kieran a puzzled look for commenting on poppy’s choice if drink. Poppy could taste the confusion coming off of Casteel knowing is was unlike Kieran. 

“Coming right up my queen.” Casteel stated. He gave Kieran a sidelong glance as he began pouring. 

“No!” Kieran gave Casteel a harsh look was silently pleading Casteel to understand why he cared what Poppy was drinking. Casteel knew Kieran enough to know something wasn’t right. Or maybe it was just that everything was beginning to be perfect.

He set the wine down away from Poppy. She was looking between the both of them confused. Understanding flashed across Casteel’s face and he looked to her stomach and then Kieran with a questioning gaze. The wolven gave him a slight nod of the head. Casteel’s eyes glowed with love, admiration and wonder. Poppy could taste the awe coming off of Casteel so strongly without even trying to read his emotions. 

Casteel took two strides towards Kieran and pressed his forehead against his. They stared at one another clamping down on each others neck with love shone bright in each of their eyes. 

“Will someone please explain to me whats going on!” poppy shouted growing irritated from across the couch.

Kieran smiled at her getting up and left the room while Casteel went and scooped Poppy up into his arms while showering her with kisses. He carried her into their bedchambers and sat down on the bed he leaned against the headboard with her seated in his lap. She had never seen such a large smile on his face. 

“Poppy, my brave, bold, brilliant wife. You astonish me everyday and I am so honored to call you mine. I am completely in awe of you. You will always be my queen and I am so excited to add mother to our child to that list.” Tears began to fall down his face as he leaned down and kissed her stomach. 

He looked up at Poppy and saw the joy radiating off of her. They both had stopped taking their contraceptive tea a couple months ago in hopes to start a family. 

“Im pregnant?”

“Yes my love. The wolven can smell pregnancy long before an Atlantian can. Kieran scented it on you.”

“Oh my gods. Im going to be a mother.” She flung her arms over his neck setting burying her face in his neck.  

“Yes you are. In a year I possibly will have a new one to call my princess or a little prince.” He leaned back cupping her cheeks while collecting her tears watching as they turn into diamonds. Something they both would never get over seeing since she completed the culling 5 years ago. “You will be the best mother in all the realms and I am so proud to have you as mine Penellaphe Balfour Da’Neer.” 

They stayed up well into night lovemaking 

and when they were both spent and filled with promise Casteel leaned down and kisses her stomach before tucking her into his side and falling asleep with her in his arms. 

[illyrian-adventures]

ALITF Theory

I think that Ector has something to do with Hamid trying to kill Sera because he shatters Hamids soul before could speak to him. Also in FBAA Aios, Sion, Nektas, Bele, Rhain, Rhahar, Theon and Laila are all mentioned as asleep or were asleep with Nyktos and Sera but there is no mention of Ector in any of the FBAA books. Im guessing he either dies or pulls an Alastir.

[theladyofbloodshed]

I made this request a long time ago, but it doesn't hurt to try again...

I'd like to see the human or fae Nesta (it's up to you) losing her virginity with Cassian, it could be at the Mating Ceremony... Like I said I'm sure Nesta had this romantic dream of having her first time with the man she loves, so I'd like to give her this gift 🥰❤️

So, as usual, I cannot write succinctly. This is part one of (I think) a three part fic. It is set shortly after the war. Instead of letting Nesta spiral into depression, Cassian sees the signs that she's struggling and tries to help her. Nesta pushes and pushes at first in this part.

Recovery - A Post-ACOWAR Nessian Fic - Part One

The war had been a brutal, awful affair. One month had passed since Elain had driven Truth-Teller into the king’s neck. One month since Nesta sawed the knife through every tendon and bone then held his decapitated head aloft like a trophy. One long month of working to heal the wounds.

As soon as Madja gave the exasperated go ahead that he could be on the move again, Cassian had flown swiftly to Illyria. It was important that he be seen amongst his people during a time of grief to acknowledge their pain and carry the burden with them. Rhys was still seen as an outsider – not a true Illyrian – and Azriel never wanted to be part of their culture. It fell to Cassian to break the news to families that their sons were not coming home. That fathers had departed this world. Many families already knew – ones who waited and waited for a male to return but never did. Grief was different in everybody. Some walled it away, never willing to look at it for long. Others carried it with them through every moment. Grief could be a sharp point or a dull ache.

Illyria would heal from it as it always did. It never gave much time to grief or sadness. It always donned its armour once again and started anew, no matter how broken it felt on the inside. To show vulnerabilities was a weakness.  

As Cassian stood in silence watching Devlon and his second cataloguing their cache of weapons, he understood what Rhys had meant when he’d called Nesta Illyrian. It wasn’t the brutality or backwards-nature. No, it was the way she could bury her feelings. Devlon had lost a son in the war, but continued on, hard-faced, never showing signs that he was breaking down.

Since the war, Cassian and Nesta had barely exchanged more than a few barked syllables. She shut down everyone. There had been a hope in those initial days of healing that Nesta might come to his bedside and seize an opportunity to be with him, but she never came. She never initiated their blunt conversations – though she didn’t seem to want to initiate conversation with anybody else either.

Their lives were a sequence of almosts. She had let him kiss her once as a mortal. She had worried for him at the battle in Summer Court. She had noticed his sprained wrist then tended to it with utmost care. She had shielded his body with her own and been ready to die at his side. Almost. Almost. Almost. They were always almost something, like fingers brushing past each other, outstretched hands never quite being able to gain purchase.

Nesta had isolated herself from the others. Cassian wasn’t even sure if the others had noticed that her appearances at dinner became shorter or less frequent. Nesta took to evening walks alone despite autumn waning and the winds becoming brisker. Sometimes Cassian would trail her and she’d head for a tavern or would sit alone on a bench. If she was meeting somebody, it would be different, but Nesta was always alone. When she departed taverns, her eyelids would be drooping, her steps sluggish and unsteady. If a male tried to speak with her, she ignored him and breezed past. If her father ever became the topic of conversation, she’d leave the room. Nobody ever noticed. Nesta moved like a ghost, content to be in solitude. Where Elain had once been lethargic and morose, she was now growing more confident and sociable. The elder sister, who had protected and cared for her, who had ensured she ate and was safe, wilted more each day. And sometimes it felt as if Cassian was the only one who saw it. Mor dismissed her as thinking she was too good for them. Feyre said that was always how Nesta was. Rhys had shrugged and said she was an Illyrian at heart. Nesta was broken. And she was doing an excellent job of masking it.

His flying took him back to Velaris. The trees stood as if Feyre had painted them in gold. A brisk wind carried fallen leaves up into the air and children leapt from pile to pile searching for the ones with the best crunch. He spied Nesta in one of her usual haunts; a bench facing the river in a secluded area. It was the furthest she could get from the graveyard where her father’s headstone lay.

Cassian would do anything to take that blank expression from her features. He’d take white-hot anger over this muted coldness. The spark had guttered out from her eyes. On the rare occasion that Nesta was present at their gatherings – which was usually when they unfolded in a room she had already been situated in and she would depart soon after they began – she would stare unblinking, as if it was an agony to be around them. There had been no sign of her powers since the war, no sign that Nesta was at risk of losing control. Amren had reached her hand out for her a number of times, but Nesta declined invitations, preferring isolation. Even Amren had no sympathy for Nesta anymore.

The bench was too far out of the city’s centre for it to be coincidence that Cassian had come across her, but he found that he didn’t care. If she snarled at him for following her, that tinder might bring her back to life.

He yawned loudly and plopped down on the bench beside her. One of his wings tracked a line across her bony shoulder. Usually, that sort of friendliness would be met with a hiss or a growl, but Nesta remained staring at the shining water running by as if she had known he’d been watching her for the last five minutes and expected his imminent arrival.

In place of the softness of her face was now hard edges and emptiness. She’d lost weight – too much for her size. Her hair was duller, lacking the usual golden shine. The nails on both hands had been gnawed to the quick, but she quickly tucked them away into her thin sleeves and drew her arms around her shaking body. How long had she been out for? Had the whole day been spent wandering the city alone like a lost soul? And they all just let her. They weren’t her jailers by any means, but where was the same care that they all nurtured for Elain and even Feyre when she first came to the Night Court? Who ensured Nesta ate and slept?

Nesta was a female of action, not words. There was no use trying to coax out a conversation when she barricaded all of her feelings behind an impenetrable fortress. Cassian slipped off his thick jacket and draped it across her hunched shoulders. Her body tensed. Nesta reminded him of an animal that had been hurt too many times. She sized him up, readying herself to either attack or flee. He held back his comments, held back any words at all as he tucked the jacket around her body and sat beside her.

For a while, they remained in the quiet with the only sounds coming from the gurgle of the river. The bustle of the city was diluted here too, but it could still be admired along with the stretch of mountains that the House of Wind was carved into.

‘I’m here. When you want me. When you need me. I’m here.’

Her brow drew downwards then she tightened the jacket around her body. When the street lamps were lit with their flickering yellow flames, Nesta stood.

‘Can I walk you home?’

Cassian knew better than to try and fly her. The few times she had flown since Rhys had flown her fast enough to vomit had been times of necessity, never for pleasure. Inviting her into his arms, as much as he wanted it, would not be well-received.

There was no reply nor did she wait for him as she began her steady march back towards the Town House. He matched her strides easily and was surprised when Nesta didn’t shoo him away. Her pace slowed slightly as if savouring the last inhales of the crisp city air.

A void had steadily grown between them. Too much time has passed since the war. The time to go to her side and assure her that his declaration hadn’t been meaningless had long since passed. It was a bitter regret that grew larger with each day.

The Town House was dark and cold when Nesta pushed open the front door. She stood in the hallway, blinking softly to adjust to the darkness. Cassian couldn’t decipher her expression – relief that nobody else was home or disappointment that nobody else was home.

‘First chilly night of the year,’ he said brightly. ‘I hated winter as a child. Different story as an adult.’

Nesta was already half-way up the stairs, not listening or choosing to ignore him.

When the click of her bedroom door echoed in the silent house, Cassian let out a pained sigh. Winter had been hell as a child. The days were cold but the worst of it was kept at bay with relentless training. The nights were painful, more about survival than anything else. For a little boy with nobody in the world to help him, he did not know how he had survived those brutal winters with a thin tent and a scrap of a blanket. He had always had hope. Hope had been that light which guided him through the worst nights; this mad dream that someday life would be better. And it had gotten better through chance. Through someone seeing him for the scared little boy who he was and reaching out a hand to help him.

He scrubbed at his face with his cold hands then knelt in front of the hearth to begin working a fire. Nesta needed help. It was a tight-rope of respecting her wishes or overriding them to do what was best for her.

The flames had begun to lick at a large log when Rhys breached his mind.

Where’s our favourite stray?

In your house, he replied. Where are you?

Dinner at the House of Wind. We’re all here. Come and join us.

Cassian’s stomach dropped. No, they weren’t all there. Nesta remained upstairs, discounted from the group.

Before he knew what he was doing, he’d flown up the stairs to her room and knocked on the wood. How many times had he hovered outside it in the past hoping she’d open it the moment he passed so they could have a verbal spar? That was before the war had changed her irrevocably. Now, he tip-toed past her room to ensure she was still breathing.

‘Nes, I’m headed to the House of Wind for dinner. Do you want to join us?’

When no answer came, Cassian gathered his courage and pushed the door open. The room was immaculate. Not a single item was out of place – not that she had much. Rhys had offered Nesta no end of employment opportunities within the Night Court, but she had politely declined each one. Elain received a small pouch of money each month from Feyre that she spent on different trinkets, flowers, and gifts for the high lady. Nesta’s own amount never seemed to be spent. More often than not, she tried to return the money to Feyre. A few books were stacked neatly on the desk, another was on her bedside table next to an oil lamp. She had opted for the smaller bedroom, giving Elain the larger. It was tidy and barely lived in. The bedsheets were pulled taut across the frame though Cassian knew she had asked Nuala and Cerridwen not to enter her room for cleaning, preferring to have her privacy. He and his brothers had joked that maybe she was messy and didn’t want people seeing her chaos. No, this room was Nesta in its entirety.

At the sight of him in her doorway, about to step onto the cream carpet in his boots, her eyes went wide. ‘Do not step in here.’

He could have wept now that he’d finally heard her speak for the first time that day. ‘Why? Who are you hiding under the bed?’

The light guttered out from her eyes again despite his teasing. He would not let it go out fully. Could not.

‘Are you coming for dinner? I’ll fly gently.’

‘No.’

‘Your sisters are there. You could bring back a few more books too. I’ll fly you back when you’ve-’

Nesta had risen. A small hope fluttered in his chest that she was accepting the invitation, but she merely closed the bedroom door then bolted it.

It stung. Cassian wished he could reverse time, go back to the days just after the war and go to her, even with his shredded wings. He should have sought her out sooner. Violence was brand new to her. He walked with death every day of his life; Nesta hadn’t.

Her footsteps hadn’t sounded, so Cassian knew that Nesta stood just behind the door still without making a move back to the bed. He couldn’t explain how he knew. It happened a lot though. He could fly from Illyria and happen to drift past the streets she’d walked, pick up on her scent, know which tavern she was in by some innate knowledge.

‘There’s a fire burning in the living room if you’re cold. I’ll put the grate in front of it. I’m heading out now.’

Not even the cool night winds could dampen the hot anger coursing through Cassian’s veins. Why wouldn’t Nesta let anyone help her? Even Elain had preferred to spend time with the group than with her elder sister recently. Nesta had successfully pushed everybody away. And Cassian couldn’t figure out why.

Night was creeping in earlier and earlier with the encroaching winter, so the red stone mountain stood as if aflame in the starlight. A couple of sconces had been lit along the landing roof to illuminate the path. One of his knees popped from the force of his landing there. He couldn’t shake the haunted image of Nesta sat bolt upright on her bed – likely where she’d remain until she slipped into the covers to sleep.

‘Evening.’

Azriel’s cold, flat voice made him jump. He whirled around, searching for his brother but saw only darkness. From the shadows, cobalt siphons came into view then he heard a low chuckle.

‘You need to stop skulking around in the shadows.’

‘I only do it to give you a fright.’

Cassian gave him a shove in shoulder. ‘I thought everybody was already here.’

Az nodded. ‘We are. I said I’d wait for you out here. If I have to hear the word darling again, I might hang myself.’

They were happy for Rhys, especially with what happened to him in the war – and all the ordeals prior. But, Cauldron, were their love-sick eyes beginning to grate. Mor blocked it out with wine. Amren blocked it out with Varian’s mouth.

Dishes were already laid out and the group had begun to serve themselves. It wasn’t malicious, Cassian told himself as he counted the number round the table. Lucien at one end, making hesitant conversation with Varian. Amren beside him. Mor beckoning to an empty seat beside her. Another empty one for Az. Feyre and Elain chatting about their day while Rhys twirled his fingers through Feyre’s hair. A happy scene. And yet Cassian couldn’t stop himself from asking the questions he already knew the answers to just to hear their reactions.

‘I thought we were all here.’

‘We are now,’ Mor said brightly, patting the seat again.

Az slunk past him into the chair, but Cassian planted his feet. ‘Where is Nesta?’

He had no issue with Varian, but that he was thought of in higher regard than Nesta rattled something loose in Cassian’s chest.

‘She wouldn’t want to come,’ Feyre explained.

‘So did you invite her?’

Rhys waved a hand to pile all of Feyre’s favourite bits onto her plate. ‘We’ve invited her to many and she always refuses. Let’s eat.’

But Cassian couldn’t. How could he enjoy himself when Nesta sat alone in the Town House, broken and defeated? How the hell did he even think flying here was a good idea?

‘I can’t stay,’ he said, turning on his heel. ‘Enjoy your dinner.’

Their voices carried down the corridor in an indistinct clamour. Cassian ignored it all. If he didn’t go to Nesta now, tomorrow it would just be another regret, another strike of the chisel against that ever-growing void between them.

One of Nesta’s books had been placed on the arm of the chair in the living room but her scent was faint, as if she had only been in the room for a few moments. The fire still burnt though no new wood had been added to it since he left. Perhaps Nesta did not even know how to take care of a fire. He didn’t know. Didn’t know such basic things about her despite knowing if they were to die on that battlefield, it would have been together.

A quick search of the house indicated that Nesta had gone back out. And in heartbeats, Cassian was following her scent of soft vanilla mixed with jasmine. Once he’d crossed two bridges, he knew exactly where she was headed. There was a tavern she favoured more than the others although he could not think why. It had a reputation for being rough, the drinks cheap but watered down, and the owner to be a vile male.

Sure enough, Nesta’s scent went right to the door where it mingled with the smells of strong alcohol and unwashed bodies. It was the worst district of Velaris. But Nesta wouldn’t know that. Nesta knew so little about their world.

For a moment, Cassian deliberated his entrance, not wanting to invoke her anger. But he decided that anger was a far better alternative to nothing, or to her being hurt by a patron.

Nesta sat in an alcove, already with a fair-haired male sitting close to her on the bench. One arm was draped around her shoulders, speaking into her ear. Her own hands were clutched to a glass of spirits poured over ice. Two empty glasses were already on the table, but the male was drinking ale from pewter tankards. It was not jealously burning in his chest, Cassian decided. Nesta disregarded the male with the same revulsion she seemed to have for everybody at the moment, but letting him sit so close and wrap an arm around her was novel.

‘Time to go.’

Chatter had died down as he’d pulsed through the tavern seeking Nesta. Even if he had not stepped foot in this establishment before, Cassian was recognisable by sight. Word of the war had spread too. The eyes that landed on him then shifted to Nesta, knowing her as the Cauldron-born Kingslayer.’

'I’m not ready to leave.’

Cassian’s wings twitched in response to her voice. ‘I was talking to him.’

The male had paled somewhat before scurrying back to whatever table he’d originally come from. Cassian took his seat, giving Nesta a few inches of space. Her hand splayed out on the table, ready to push herself upwards. He gripped her wrist. It was rash, ill-thought out. Nesta had stopped breathing. Her eyes were fixed upon his tanned hand around her slender wrist. The last time he had touched her, had been to cradle her face and kiss her.

I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta. I will find you in the next world - the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.

Because he could, because they had time now, Cassian stroked his thumb along her pale skin as his grip loosened. If she had pulled away now, departed, it would have been a rusty knife through the ribs. Nesta stayed. Her grey eyes still traced the path his thumb took.

‘What can I get you?’ A rough voice asked.

‘Two meals. Whatever is quickest.’

When the male had returned to the bar, Nesta frowned. ‘I don’t want to eat.’

‘Your body needs to,’ he said with finality.

Soup was the quickest. He had judged the place too harshly; the food was hot, pleasant to taste, and the dishes were clean enough. Nesta sat with her arm folded across her chest, dutifully ignoring the meal in front of her.

‘What can I offer you to get you to eat that?’

‘You could leave me alone for a start.’

It was a stupid idea that would not benefit him in the slightest, but Cassian offered, ‘Fine. You eat all of it. Even the bread and I’ll leave you alone.’

‘How long for?’

‘Until tomorrow.’

‘Evening.’

‘Deal.’

***

Over the next few days, Cassian fell into a strange series of agreements with Nesta. He never saw her. Never spoke to her. He hated it – but it was for her own good. He ensured Cerridwen and Nuala brought food to her room for dinner and he’d knock on her door a short while later. Nesta would ignore him, but when he went back a few minutes later, the dishes would be outside the door with only crumbs or smears of sauce remaining as evidence of the meal. She was beginning to eat breakfast too. Cassian would knock on her door in the morning before he flew to Illyria, threaten her that if she didn’t eat breakfast then she had to spend time with him, and the door would open a few inches, a hand would shoot out for the bowl of porridge then it would be left outside a short while later.

It was a stupid deal. He ought to have been offended that the threat of his company was so abhorrent to her, but if it made her eat regularly, Cassian found that was better. He’d much rather be ignored and Nesta was healthy than sit with a ghost who faded more each day.

‘How long will you two play this game for?’ Rhys mused.

‘It’s not a game,’ he replied shortly, readying himself for a rainy flight to Illyria. He’d promised an older female who’d lost her husband in the war that he’d help her stock up her woodstore ready for the winter.

‘Well, if you can, find out what’s wrong with the fireplaces.’

‘What?’

Rhys leafed through a number of documents on his desk absently. ‘She grew quite cross when Nuala lit a fire in her room a couple of days ago.’

‘She doesn’t like them going in her room.’

‘She also put out the fire in the living room not long after Cerridwen lit that one. And refused to let her light it again until Feyre came home then she returned to her room.’

Cassian catalogued that information in his mind. Another thing to bargain for though he didn’t have much to offer except his absence.

His day in Illyria stretched on and on. He felt too guilty to not help the others who needed it. There were so many females without males to help them in the approach of winter. Ones that could purchase their own firewood struggled to carry it far. His entire day was spent taking on chores whilst Nesta rattled through his head.

When he returned to the Town House, he found it empty. There were no signs that Nesta had eaten dinner – and the others were likely up at the House of Wind having theirs. He was struck by the cruelty of it, that even if Nesta wanted to join them, she had no way of accessing the house – and the Cauldron knew she was too proud to ever ask somebody to take her.

He sought out one of the wraiths in the kitchen and did his usual interrogation of Nesta’s dietary habits.

‘She left this morning.’

‘Left where?’

Nuala blinked at him with her large, dark eyes. ‘I do not know. There was a note for the high lady, but they have not been home to read it.’

Heat flooded his body. ‘Did she give any suggestion of where she was going? When she’d be back?’

This was the longest conversation he’d ever had with the twins – a fact both of them seemed to realise by the uncomfortable tension settling in. For Nesta, he would put that to one side.

‘I do not know,’ she repeated. ‘But she did take her belongings with her.’

Not caring if he was just a base-born brute from Illyria, Cassian tore into Rhys’ study and ripped open the letter that Nesta had left on the desk for Feyre. His eyes scanned the page. Every word of the elegant handwriting had his heart dropping further.

Dear Feyre,

Thank you for your hospitality. I have found my own lodgings and will spend a few days settling in. I will contact you soon with my new address.

Nesta.

The formality was jarring; it was a letter from a stranger, not a sister. Where would she go? Surely, Nesta would stay in the Night Court? He couldn’t calm the erratic flurry of his heart enough to think straight. Logic should have had him swooping for the House of Wind. Sense should have had him respecting Nesta’s wishes – or not shredding the envelope before Feyre had even known of the letter’s existence. Where Nesta was concerned, Cassian had no sense or logic, only passion. That was the reason he barrelled from the house, disregarding the foul weather, to search for Nesta.

He picked up her scent near her favourite tavern, but instead of leading to the entrance, it diverted paths down the grubby, cobbled streets in the northern portion of the city. The buildings here were old and crumbling in parts, built on top of each other like weeds fighting for sunlight. He’d told Rhys to tear it down decades ago. This was not a place for Nesta to be. Not a home. Then again, she had lost every home she had ever had.

‘Why are you here?’

There was no surprise on Nesta’s part. No, if she shared the same instinct as him, then likely she had known he was approaching long before his steps echoed in the stairwell.

‘The thing is,’ he drawled, ensuring his foot was jammed into the path of the door in case she tried to block him out. ‘You didn’t eat dinner today which means I am allowed to burden you with my presence.’

‘It’s not a burden.’

‘It’s not?’ Cassian swallowed.

‘No. It’s as enjoyable for me as stepping on a rusty nail. As thrilling as watching a fallen tree rot.’

‘Good,’ he declared, bypassing her sarcasm and forcing the door open to allow himself entry.

‘Out.’

‘Can’t do that, sweetheart. You didn’t keep up your end of the deal, so I won’t be keeping up mine.’

There was a tired, sagging settee in the small living room that likely came with the apartment. The kitchenette was grubby with long-standing oil stains splatted on the tiles. A threadbare rug had been strewn haphazardly in front of the empty hearth. There couldn’t be a place that was more of the opposite of Nesta than this one – and Cassian’s heart sank to see her stood in the centre of the tiny apartment.

Rain rattled on the thin window panes. One was even broken and soggy newspaper had been stuck over the cracks. A wind rattled through the gaps in the rotten frame.

‘I can teach you how to light a fire.’ He gestured to the hearth although there was no wood or tinder in the stores.

Nesta’s face paled. ‘No.’

‘It’s freezing in here, Nes.’

‘I’m fine.’

She wanted to push him away. She was trying as best she could. Cassian would be as stubborn as he knew how to be. The only way she was getting him out of that apartment was if she physically managed it.

‘Need any help unpacking? Or cleaning?’

‘I don’t want anything from you. Leave.’

‘Eat dinner and I’ll leave.’

 Nesta grimaced at the sight of the stove that she hadn’t yet scrubbed.

‘I have a new deal. If I get us food and bring it here, will you eat with me – then I’ll leave you alone?’

‘Why do you care?’

What could he say to that question? That since Nesta had stepped into his life, all other females were mere shadows as a result. There was no other that could ever bewitch him like she could. And with every passing day he became more regretful that he hadn’t gone to her after the war when she had needed him – needed anyone – to help her through the weight of her father’s death.

‘I care about you.’

She flinched from those words. His heart crumbled further. Not waiting for a response, he called over his shoulder that he would be back soon with food. He passed a screwdriver laid to one side where Nesta had screwed a new lock onto the door. Beside it were another two locks needing to be installed. If she thought that she needed four locks to keep her safe then Cassian wanted to bundle Nesta into his arms and carry her back to the Town House.

They ate quietly. Without a table, they ate with plates on their laps. Still, Nesta refused a fire even when she’d drawn a blanket over her lap and shivered with cold. He was glad to see her eating although she pushed her food around her plate and seemed to force down each mouthful. Cassian coaxed her to eat more with the promise that he’d depart when the plate was clean, however when that happened, Nesta did not shoo him from her sight. Not immediately at least. Instead, she searched for her cloak in the bedroom then a pair of boots.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Out,’ she replied shortly.

Nesta’s hand enclosed on the handle and she held the door open expectantly for him to leave. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, ‘I can help you. Put the locks on the door. Put a peg here for your cloak. I’ll fix anything here like the window. I can paint if you need it pa-’

‘Why?’

It was less a question, more a demand.

‘Because I want this to be a home for you.’

The corner of her mouth quirked up. ‘A home?’ A bitter laugh followed and Nesta gestured to the darkened corridor again as a sign it was time he departed.

Again, Cassian was bargaining for her health. If she ate three meals then he’d fix the leaking tap in the bathroom. If she waited for him at the tavern so he could safely walk her home then he’d repair the cracked tiles around the fireplace. All of these things, he’d have willingly done for her if she’d asked, but Nesta was too proud to ever ask for help, least of all from him.

[hlizr50]

GWYNRIEL FOR ANY OF THESE PROMPTS PLEASE!!!

"Are you jealous?"

"Are you flirting with me?"

Gwyn comes to the training ring snuggled up in a blanket and refuses to take it off because it is too cold you sadistic bastards and when it finally gets off its like a cat trying to snuggle up with anything warm in which case Azriel is the hottest heat source ;)

💕💕💕💕💕

THIS MIGHT BE THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER WRITTEN. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR THE PROMPT. I still have "Are you jealous?" and "Are you flirting with me?" on my list.

I thought about waiting to post... but I couldn't. It's too cute.

Your Love Keeps Me Warm

Read on AO3

She was shivering.

Even clad in her leathers and gloves and wrapped in a blanket from the house, she was freezing.

Gwyn’s eyes narrowed at Nesta and Emerie, who weren’t swathed in additional layers like she was. How could they deal with the cold so much better than she? Perhaps she was just moody after not getting much sleep. She’d been unable to fall asleep, knowing that Azriel was to return home from the mortal lands. Instead, she’d settled into the sofa with a book until shadows had twirled around her wrists and compelled her to return to their room.

Where they still… hadn’t slept for a bit.

It was his fault, she decided, that she was shaking in the dead of winter in the middle of the training ring, having not slept nearly enough to be dealing with this convergence of weather and responsibility.

“That doesn’t look like proper training attire, Gwyneth.” Cassian’s voice boomed from behind her as he strode into the ring, Azriel following closely. Her face screwed into a scowl, and she gave it to both of them – the general who had implied that she’d have to remove her blanket, and the shadowsinger who had made her so tired that she suddenly couldn’t handle winter.

They both just smirked at her. She bristled at that.

“It’s freezing,” she grumbled, pulling the throw tighter around her.

“Your enemies –“

“Won’t wait for warm weather, I know. I know.” The redhead rolled her eyes, glaring at the Illyrian males. “I’m not taking the blanket off.” She spun on her heel with a harumph, blanket billowing like a cloak, and stalked toward Nesta and Emerie.

“We’ll see about that, Berdara!” Cassian bellowed from behind her, but she ignored it and plopped down onto the ground to begin stretching her tired muscles. She felt her sisters’ eyes on her, but kept her own gaze fixed on her toes as she folded forward.

“Cold, Gwyn?”

Laughter bubbled from Emerie’s lips as the redhead scowled and gestured inappropriately at the eldest Archeron sister. But then she sighed. “I don’t know what my problem is. We’ve trained in the cold plenty. But it’s like it’s in my bones. Maybe I’m getting sick or something.” Gwyn’s eyes flicked to her mate, liquid green-gold gaze pinning her as a frown tugged at his lips. Mother forbid she mention being ill or in pain or feeling in any way less than perfect – Azriel’s shadows would darken with concern. She shook her head, ponytail swaying, waving away his unease. But perhaps she could use his worry to her advantage. It was a bit devious, to be sure.

But she was not surrendering her blanket.

When the general barked out instructions for the experienced females to start sparring, she took advantage of the odd numbers and made her away over to the shadowsinger. He raised an eyebrow as she strode toward him with a pout. He shook his head with an amused smirk but lifted his arm so she could nestle herself against his side. The copper-haired Valkyrie felt the warmth of their bond as he kissed her hair.

“Do you really think you might be ill?” he murmured as they both watched the novices who were following Cassian’s movements.

“No,” she admitted with a shrug.

“Then you’re going to have to lose the blanket, Berdara.” She gasped, the realization hitting her that she’d been duped when Azriel’s hand clenched around the material over her shoulder and tugged. Gentle and caring as her mate often was, his grip was unyielding. Strength quiet and firm. The blanket was ripped away, leaving her with only her leathers as protection against the bitter wind.

“How dare you!” she seethed, her only answer a smug grin on that unreasonably handsome face. “You’re going to regret that!”

The shadowsinger held the blanket out in his opposite hand, apparently thinking that the Valkyrie would try to snatch it back. But she just pursed her lips, fixed her determined gaze upon him, and threw her arms around his middle – attaching herself to him.

“What are you doing, Gwyn?” The rich, scolding voice vibrated against her cheek as a hand settled on her shoulder. She didn’t look up – only squeezed tighter.

“You took my blanket. Now you have to take its place.” She narrowed her eyes at his exasperated sigh, finally lifting her chin. “Don’t give me that tired attitude. As far as I’m concerned, this is all your fault anyway.”

“My fault?” He blinked down at her, letting his hand crawl across her back and settle on her opposite hip.

“Yes! I’ve trained in the cold before without a single problem. So I can only surmise that I’m struggling today because I’ve not been able to sleep very well with you gone. And then last night I couldn’t sleep because I knew you were coming home. And then when you got home we still didn’t sleep.” Her cheeks heated with the memory of the previous night – truly only hours earlier. “And now it’s cold and I’m exhausted and I think it’s just too much for my body today.” Her chin rested near his shoulder, gazing up at him with pleading eyes. His body relaxed, and she heard his wings flare before tightening to him.

“Come here, love,” he breathed, pulling her around so they were chest to chest. He dipped his chin for a quick kiss before she tucked her nose into his neck. She breathed him in – his comforting scent and delicious warmth – as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. The moment dragged on, but eventually her mate tried to extricate himself from her clutches. She dug her fingers into his leathers in answer, receiving a chuckle. “Gwyn, love, I have to move.” She grumbled incoherently.

She was notletting go anytime soon.

So she hooked her hands under Azriel’s arms and over the back of his shoulders and lifted her legs to circle his hips, ankles crossing behind him. When she unhooked one of her arms to wind around his neck, he wound his own hand around the small of her back, wings flaring slightly to adjust for the shift in his balance. That support was crucial as she brought her other arm up over his shoulder, burying her face in his warm neck again.

“There, now you can walk,” Gwyn muttered. She lifted her head only high enough to brush her lips over his jaw before retreating into his heat again. The shadowsinger laughed, shaking them both.

“So I’m supposed to walk around and lead training with you hanging off of me like a tree bear?” he asked as his other arm wrapped around her back. His voice was incredulous, but the Valkyrie was smug as she felt them start moving.

“Yes. Because you love this tree bear and you want to keep her warm and happy.” Her eyes crinkled when he chuckled again, a pang of sharp contentment and joy piercing her. His laughter was such a beautiful sound, and she was so grateful that he did it so freely.

“Do I even want to ask?” Cassian groaned dramatically. They must have made it to the other side of the training ring. Gwyn lifted one arm and flashed him the middle finger.

“Mind your own damned business,” she growled, the general’s guffaws echoing through the air and likely down into the city. She felt her mate shake his head, gently pressing his lips against her crown.

“I do love this tree bear. Very much.”

Tag List: @trashforazriel @tealnymph-writes @secretlovelybeauty @meher-sumedha @imsointobooks @flora-shadowshine @positivewitch @imwritingthesewords @camreadsum @vikingmagic33 @shisingh @gwynrielsupremacist @sagureads @katiebellf @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @sv0430 @writing-spaces @onemorenightdreamer @feyretale @almosttenaciousmoon @mystical-blaise

[darklove9314-blog]

Family : A Nessian Fanfic

Day 19 of Nessian month: Prompt: Nessian bonding with the IC.

Nesta gazed upon Cassian, Her hand firmly in his as Cassian knocked on the front doors of the river house, Feyre opened the door, a smile on her face, a hand pressed firmly to her swollen stomach before a five year old Nyx grinned at the sight of his aunt and uncle flinging himself in his aunt’s arms.

“Aunt Nes! You came!” Nyx exclaimed. A happy chuckle escaping her lips.

“Of course I came. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.“ Nesta smiled as Cassian cocked his head to the side staring at Nyx.

“What? No love for your favorite uncle?” He stated as Nyx’s eyes widened with excitement

“Is Uncle Az with you?” He questioned causing Nesta to hold in her laugh. Only five years old and he already mastered the art of a good come back. Even Feyre was reining in her smile.

“Say hi to your other uncle, sweetie.“ Feyre encouraged him as he wiggled himself out of Nesta’s arms and hugged Cassian.

“Hi Uncle Cass.“ He greeted. Nesta had no real idea why Nyx had grown more of an attachment to her than Cassian, but she guessed she would never really know that answer. Kids were always a mystery.

“Come inside, we’re just getting to cutting the cake.“ Feyre explained as Nesta and Cassian entered Nyx holding onto Feyre‘s hand.

Cassian‘s hand slid into hers before they entered the sitting area. Several of Nyx’s friends gathered around a table as he chatted away. He really was a social one.

Cassian pulled out a chair for Nesta, she thanked him as they took a spot beside Mor who greeted Casan with a hug.

“Long time, no see, stranger.” Mor greeted. Her smile dazzling across the whole room.

“That’s what happens when you go to the court of Nightmares for a whole six months.“

Mor shrugged taking a sip of her wine.

“It’s not easy to undo the damage the years have caused there, but perhaps in a few more years The Court of Nightmares will be a thing of the past and it can start anew.”

A fresh start. Something that a lot of the Night Court had needed. progress was slow, but nothing ever happened over night.

Nesta‘s eyes drew to Cassian, the curve of his lips at his friends accomplishment. The determination she had showed to take over the Court of Nightmares after her fathers passing and do what she thought she should have always done. Made more dreamers in the city of Nightmares. Nesta had even offered her assistance if Mor ever became overwhelmed. Which she had appreciated.

“How are things in Illyria?” Mor asked, her eyebrows raised in question at Cassian, who’s own smiled beamed, his arm going around Nesta. Pride shone in them with their accomplishments.

“We finally managed to convince Devlon to combine a two small units made up of both Illyrian and Valkeryie warriors. One of them are the younger generations who wish to become apart of the ranks and the others are the ones who have already went through the rite.”

“That’s amazing, I knew you two could do it.” Mor smiled looking over to Nesta.

“I couldn’t have done it without the steel will determination of my mate,“ Cassian explained pressing a kiss to the side of her temple.

“Don’t forget Emerie and Gwyn.” Nesta added.

“How could I ever?” Cassian smiled pressing a kiss to her hair.

“I thought the mating bond was supposed to die down some after a couple of years?” Amren asked sliding down in a chair, Varian by her side.

Cassian smirked at her. “You know that’s not how that works.“

“I dread the day you procreate boy. Hopefully the babe has its mother’s smarts.“

“I hope so too.“ Cassian told her making Nesta feel warm in her chest.

She had been thinking a lot about having children lately. Been having dreams of Cassian filling her with life. thinking of the one they would create together. Been gazing at the tea she had been using as her birth control for the past five years and been wanting to have a conversation about what his thoughts were if she stopped taking it, if they had started trying.

but they both had been so busy lately getting everything together that it had been a while since the two of them had time to be intimate, Had time to talk about the future that she wanted to have with him. Would they be able to have a baby? She knew getting pregnant as a fae could be difficult, but she was willing to try. She just needed a moment with him where they both weren’t exhausted.

Amren smirked seeming to catch how deep Nesta’s thoughts ran.

“I guess we’ll see when the time is right.“ She simply said leaning into Varian. Her wedding ring flashing in the light.

Before Cassian could say more, the door opened Azriel stepping through it as Nyx hugged him. Azriel placing Nyx on his back and carrying him into the dining room.

“Be careful there, Uncle Az, you may throw your back out.“ Cassian teased earning him an eye roll from Azriel.

“I’m in better shape than you.“ Azriel retorted. “I bet you couldn’t even lift him to your shoulders.”

“Is that so?” Cassian challeneed as Nesta heard a far off voice say.

“I hate to break up your bet with my son, but it’s time for presents.“ Rhys told them taking Nyx for Azriel’s shoulder. A wide grin on the boys face.

“Presents!” Nyx shouted happily running towards them as the other children followed. Feyre smiled rubbing at her abdomen absentmindedly.

“Do you think he’ll have any trouble not being an only child when his sister arrives?” Feyre asked as Rhys beamed.

“Not at all. though there definitely will be an adjustment period.“ Rhys assured her as Nesta looked back to Cassian. His gaze on Rhys and Feyre as Rhysand pressed a kiss to her sister’s cheek.

Nesta had always knew that Cassian had longed for a family of his own. It wasn’t that his close circle of friends wasn’t enough for him or even her, but she knew Cassian had always wanted children. She had been hesitant afraid if she would be a good mother or not.

He had assured her there was no rush for children. That he would wait hundreds of years if he had to so she could be ready for them. Nesta just had to make sure she was doing this as much for herself as she was for Cassian. She would not bring a child into this world unless both her and Cassisn were ready for one.

Nesta joined the others sitting down next to Feyre as Cassian joined Rhys and Azriel having a conversation that Nesta had no clue what it was about.

Elain was beside Mor and Amren, her laughter flooding over to them as she sent both her sisters a slight wave. Nesta waved back before turning back to Feyre, not sure how to start this particular conversation as they watched Nyx open his presents. His eyes growing wide at the mini paint set his mother had gotten him.

“Thanks mom!” Nyx said flinging his arms around Feyre’s neck as she pulled her son closer.

“You’re welcome baby.” Feyre said hugging him as Nesta took in the sight. She knew she wanted that with her own child. But she was still afraid that she would not be any good at motherhood.

Nesta watched as Nyx opened his other gifts, watching as he opened the toy that Nesta and Cassian had gotten for him. Thanking both of them with a hug.

Nesta‘s smile bloomed as she beheld the hug between Nyx and Cassian, Could almost see Cassian with their own son or daughter, How good of a father he would be. She wondered when Cassian saw her with Nyx if he thought the same thing.

“Is something on your mind?” Feyre asked when they both were alone in the kitchen. they were cleaning up while the others were in the living room showing Nyx how to use his toy and helping him set them up. Cassian had always been great at building things. He was putting the others to shame. A smile tugged at Nesta’s lips.

“When did you know?” She asked as Feyre stopped on the dish she was working on.

“Know about what?” She replied scrubbing at a really stubborn stain as Nesta handed her a better sponge.

“Thank you.“ She said as Nesta dried the dishes Feyre handed to her.

”How did you know you were ready to have a baby?” She asked. Feyre stopping mid scrub.

“Are you and Cassian-?” She started but Nesta interrupted her.

“No. At least not yet. I-I haven’t brought up the conversation with him yet.“ Shd told Feyre. Feyre nodded in understanding.

“I can understand that. It’s not a decision to take lightly. There’s a lot of factors to take into account.”

“Like how I feel like I would be a terrible mother?”

Feyre looked at Nesta with the same eyes they both had inherited from their mother.

”What makes you believe you’ll be a terrible mother?” Feyre asked. going back to the dishes.

“Because I couldn’t even take care of us when it mattered most.” She confided to Feyre.

“It wasn’t your job to take care of us. It was our fathers. “

“It wasn’t your job to take care of us either. but you still did it anyway.“

“It still doesnt mean it would have been right no matter which of us took care of the other. perhaps the real mistake was that we didnt take care of each other, but we were young and we’ll learn from those mistakes, God knows I still make them when it comes to my own child.”

“Please. You’re the definition of the perfect mother.” Nesta told her drying the dishes Feyre had worked on.

“I wouldn‘t say that. I still have the deal Rhys and I made which in retrospect wasn’t the brightest idea if you want to have kids.”

“You made a mistake, it happens to all of us.“

“I will admit we didn’t really think it through. the deal I mean. But no one ever said every decision was a rational one, but you’re deflectin. We were talking about you wanting kids.”

“I know it’s been years but I still have those intrusive thoughts that I’ll end up just like our mother.“ Nesta told her.

“We can’t live our life in fear Nesta. and remember you also have a support system in your corner. If you want to have kids than that’s your choice, well yours and Cassian’s. Just make sure that you’re ready to commit to it. To put that child before anything else, because when your baby comes. It’ll be your whole world. only you can determine what mother you’ll be, The past be damned.“

“Thanks Feyre.“

“Don’t mention it.” Feyre smiled as Cassian turned towards them getting up from his spot and heading towards the kitchen until he stopped where they were at.

“I’ve come to relieve you, my high lady.“ Cassian said as Feyre chuckled.

“Thank God you have spared me of the tedious task that is dish washing.” Feyre teased giving him a pat on the shoulder.

“I’ll see you two when you’re finished,“ Feyre told them heading to sit down beside Rhys and Nyx.

“Were you two having fun in here?” Cassian teased grabbing a dish and washing it.

“Aren’t we always?” Nesta smirked grabbing the dish from him and drying it.

“What were you two talking about?” Cassian asked. “It seemed like a pretty intense conversation.“

“It was a sister thing and…there’s something I want to discuss with you when we get home.“ She told him.

“Nothing bad I hope.“

“No. It’s just a conversation that I’ve been wanting to have with you for a while now.“ She confided in him, He nodded, relief filling his features as they worked on the dishes. talking about the party. When things were winding down Feyre pulled Nesta into a hug as Nesta also hugged Nyx,

“Goodbye Aunt Nes.”

“Goodbye buddy, I’ll see you next week when you come spend the night,“

Nyx‘s eyes lit up at the sound of that, the house adored Nyx as it had any other person, Maybe even favored him slightly. Though she didn’t blame the house. it had been a while since a child had been in it.She wondered how the house would feel to have one there permanently.

When Cassian and Nesta went home, She had found her answer in a stack of novels on the house library’s table. Books on motherhood, what to expect when you’re expecting. Nesta felt a warmth in her chest as the house also presented her the herbs for her tea. She hadn’t taken her dosage today.

Footsteps sounded in the door of the library as the books vanished from sight but the tea remained. She had made up her mind. Had known her answer as Cassian approached her.

“What was it you wanted to talk about?” He asked taking a seat beside her noting the tea.

Nesta took a deep breath. “Did you mean it? When you said you wanted kids?”

Casian nodded. “It’s something Ive always wanted. What brought this up?” He asked as Nesta took another breath.

“I was thinking-“ Nesta started. “About the future you’ve talked about for us. How you said you wanted kids?”

“Did you change your mind? Did you not want kids? Is that why you said you wanted to talk?” Cassian asked.

”No, I-I wanted to talk to you because I- I want to try for a baby. I-I want to make a baby with you.”

Cassian eyes snapped to hers, searching her face before he stood up, his calloused and warm hand going to her face.

“You want a baby?” Cassian asked. Nesta nodded. And she did. Gods did she want a baby with her mate. the love of her life.

“Yes.” She whispered to him as he smiled. The smile as bright as the dawn as he lifted trash can up eyes flickering to get tea.

Nesta’s smile curved upwards before she took the tea tossing it in the trash before Cassian‘s lips camd crashing down to hers.

He hoisted her on the desk, her back leaning against it as Cassian pulled away smiling down at her in the most breathtaking gaze she had ever saw and whispered.

“Then by all means mate,let’s get stared.“

[talkfantasytome]

I had an idea for an after Halloween nessian prompt: Nesta and Cassian have leftover candy and usually they give it to the neighborhood kids (or Cassian eats all of it) but this time it’s Nesta tht can’t stop eating the candy. Spoiler alert: it’s cuz she’s pregnant (I don’t know how pregnancy works so idk if candy or chocolate or sweet stuff in general is a craving)

This is so sweet! 🥺🥺 I meant to do it closer to the end of Halloween, but things got away from me, so we can just pretend it's last week. 👀

And you think I do? 😂 I can't say I know much about pregnancy, ngl, though I do think technically cravings are more common later in pregnancies, cause the first trimester is when a lot of people experience morning sickness. But, like, who cares. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As for cravings, every person is different, that I do know. There's no standard pregnancy craving...I think...lol

"All right, what's going on? Since when do you pick candy over cake?"

This is pretty short, ngl, but I was smiling like a goof the entire time I wrote it, cause 💕💕. You're going to make me want to do a Nessian pregnancy and/or kid fic, and I do not have time for more WIPs. 😫😂

"Nesta! Where's all the leftover candy?!"

Cassian could have sworn they had a whole bag of Reese's and another of Kit Kats leftover after the previous Sunday. At least.

He'd definitely overshot on the candy this year, but it was always better to have too much than too little.

"Why?!" a muffled voice asked from the living room, and suddenly Cassian had a feeling he knew exactly where the candy was.

Chuckling, he made his way into the other room. "I was supposed to bring it over to Gwyn and Az's, remember? Gwyn's been craving a lot of chocolate lately." He paused once he reached the couch, standing just behind his girlfriend. Cassian rested his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them softly as he bent over to speak into her ear. "And, don't forget our deal. You let me get the candy out of the house before it becomes a temptation, and I bake you a chocolate cake."

Nesta groaned softly, pressing her head against his. "Too late." She pointed at the empty wrappers already piling on the table.

Cassian couldn't help but laugh as he pressed a kiss to her neck. "I'll hold our deal fulfilled if you let me take the rest."

"No," Nesta grumbled. She grabbed the two bags and shoved them beneath a cushion before Cassian could grab them.

Hopping over the couch, Cassian sat beside Nesta and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "All right, what's going on? Since when do you pick candy over cake?"

Nesta shrugged. "I just do."

"Well, we would be doing Az a big favor if we brought over the rest of the chocolate," he explained, hoping to remind Nesta why they'd made that promise.

Az and Gwyn had only just told them she was pregnant a week before Halloween, followed quickly by the request from Az for any candy they had leftover from the trick-or-treaters. Apparently Gwyn was going through it fairly quickly.

"Why is Gwyn's desire for candy more important than mine?" Nesta pouted, looking up at him with big eyes.

Cassian loosed a breath, cursing himself for getting into this situation. He couldn't say no to Nesta when she looked at him like that. Only, he wasn't exactly saying no…

"Because, sweetheart, Gwyn's pregnant. She's eating for two and having some rather specific cravings."

Nesta's eyes narrowed as she leveled a flat look at him he'd seen a hundred times before. It was her 'I know, idiot' look. It wasn't his favorite look of hers, but it was up there. The way her brows lowered and lips pursed, it was adorable. But, this time there was something extra swimming in the blue-grey see of her gaze. Something he couldn't quite read, but begged him to figure out.

Of course she knew Gwyn was pregnant. She'd barely been able to stop talking about it since they found out. Cooing over baby things with Gwyn, trying to figure out which features the child would get from each parent, crying over how happy she was for them.

Yeah, that part was weird. Not something he'd grown to expect from Nesta. She wasn't really one to cry.

Cassian felt his eyes widen, breathing in deeply as realization struck. The less stable emotions, the hunger and cravings for something beyond her favorite foods, and he could've sworn the bathroom had a faint smell of vomit a few days before - it just hadn't been strong enough for him to be sure and ask about.

His stomach flipped, his extremities growing numb with the shock even as his lips curved into a goofy grin.

"Seriously?" he rasped, his gaze flicking from hers to her stomach. "Nesta, are you…"

She held his stare, nodding, and Cassian could see both the excitement and fear in those storm cloud eyes. Not a fear of the future, but of this conversation. It nearly broke his heart, to think she would be so nervous.

"Nesta!" A loud breath escaped his lips as he lunged forward, pressing them to hers. With one hand he cupped her thin, delicate face as the other rested on her still-flat stomach. He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers, tears beginning to form his eyes. "Really?"

Nesta nodded again against him, wearing a smile that matched his. "Yeah, Cass. I'm pregnant. You're going to be a dad." Silver lined her eyes, her nose scrunching up as she sniffled softly. Cassian wasn't sure she'd ever looked so beautiful.

A soft laugh burst from his lips as they sat there, forehead-to-forehead, nose-to-nose, breathing each other in.

"Does this mean I can keep my candy?"

"You can have all the candy in the world," Cassian beamed, kissing her again softly. "Hell, let's go steal Gwyn's."

@live-the-fangirl-life @generalnesta @secretlovelybeauty @nestaisgod @julemmaes @live-the-fangirl-life @boredserpent @autumnbabylon @angelic-voice-1997 @moodymelanist @sv0430 @confusedfandomslut @gwynrielsupremacy @katekatpattywack @moonstoneriver77 @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @swankii-art-teacher @lemonade-coolattas @whoreforgwynriel @emily-gsh @my-fan-side

If you'd like to be added to my Nessian or general tag list, let me know!

[thewayshedreamed]

Nessian prompt:

We’re playing truth or dare and I just got dared to sit on your lap for the next two rounds but now I’m sitting on your hard-on and I’m kinda getting turned on cuz the ✨positioning✨. We’re both tryna fix the situation without drawing attention to us but the fidgeting definitely isn’t helping 👀

Thanks for the prompt, Bby! I know you sent it as part of my follower celebration, but it worked so well for @nessianweek Day 4: Rivalry that I couldn't pass it up.

Enjoy!

Warnings for strong language and mature themes. Slightly nsfw.

--

Nesta didn't know the last time she played Truth or Dare. She thought those days had left her at some point during undergrad, but apparently not. There she was, her last semester of graduate school, somewhat invested in a round of the game. The group had been playing for almost an hour, the drinks they poured becoming more and more stout as the night went on.

Gwyn and Emerie had convinced her to join them for a night out with the others, and to be fair, it had been quite some time since she'd allowed herself a carefree night out. Her sisters and Mor were there, as well as Rhys, Azriel, Cassian, and Lucien. Amren mentioned she would "see how things went", which meant she and Varian were staying in to fulfill their own agenda. There was no doubt that was for the best since their activities would likely scar them all.

It was Mor's turn, and her mischievous smile turned on her girlfriend. "Truth or Dare, Em?"

Emerie considered it for a moment, making a show of staring at the ceiling. One of the guys made a sound similar to a ticking clock, but she paid them no mind.

"Truth."

"Okay," Mor drawled, taking a long sip of wine. "Fuck, Marry, Kill; for Rhys, Azriel, Cassian."

Emerie's eyes grew wide, snapping to Feyre and back to Mor. Nesta dared to chuckle at her friend's tight position, earning a pointed glare reserved for the worst of traitors.

"Don't hesitate on my account," Feyre giggled, resting her head on Rhys' shoulder. "I'm curious."

"That's not a fair one!" Emerie argued, gesturing with her hands. "The answer is none of the above, on all counts. For more than one reason."

The three men had the audacity to look miffed at her rejection, even though none of them had any interest in Emerie. They'd all known each other too long for any blurred lines. Mor leaned heavily against her, a look of apology in her rounded, brown eyes.

"Fair enough," she conceded, pressing a kiss to Emerie's cheek.

"That's not how it works!" Cassian challenged. It was unclear whether his ego or strict principles motivated his outburst.

Nesta fought the urge to roll her eyes, to rise to the challenge in his voice like she usually did. But Emerie was her friend, and she wasn't going to take him pushing her lying down. The words left her with more snark than usual.

"Oh, would you come off it?"

His eyes snapped in her direction, locking in on her face like a predator circling prey. "Let me guess. You have an opinion."

Nesta's blood boiled, despite the fact that she told herself Cassian wouldn't get under her skin the next time they were around each other. She was 0 for... hundreds at that point.

"She answered it truthfully, so I don't see the problem."

"It's the way the question was framed, though. It's a game within the question. There were three options. 'None of the above' wasn't one of them."

Nesta loosened the reins on her eye rolling. Cassian was good for that. "No one made that rule."

"Sweetheart, the rules are pretty clear. But if you want to make sure they stay nice and loose so you can back out later, I get that."

Emerie cleared her throat, eager to redirect his challenge before the two of them escalated. "Show us how it's done, then. Truth or Dare, Cassian?"

His attention lingered on Nesta a moment longer, a familiar glint in his eyes. Her blood heated for an entirely different reason, and she was sure to berate it for doing so.

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Azriel," she said, grinning around the rim of her glass. "On the mouth."

Azriel pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, resigned to his fate. He knew Cassian better than anyone, and it was only a matter of time.

Without hesitation, Cassian said, "Oh, done. Tongue?"

A chorus of laughter drowned out Azriel incredulous curse in Cassian's direction. When she finally recovered, Emerie took mercy on Azriel and excused any tongue. Cassian didn't hesitate to lean toward Azriel, cupping him roughly by the back of the neck and planting a full kiss to his mouth. There were catcalls all around; not at all needed in the encouragement department.

Azriel turned his attention to Feyre, fully succumbing to his soft spot for her and letting her off on the easiest Truth ever. It was something to do with who she would most like to draw or paint of the lot of them, excluding Rhys. No surprises on her choice of Azriel himself, but to his credit, he didn’t preen at the compliment. He humbly nodded as if anyone alive wouldn’t want to catch those angles on canvas.

“Nesta,” Feyre called, interrupting another quip she had been prepared to launch Cassian’s way. She couldn’t remember why. “Truth or Dare?”

She took a long pull of her drink and licked her bottom lip. “Dare.”

“Hmm,” Feyre considered, and Nesta had to admit to being slightly terrified of how diabolical sibling could be in a game such as the one she played. It didn’t take long for her to realize she’d been right to feel that way. “I think you two need to learn to get along. I dare you to sit on Cass' lap. Minimum of two full turns.”

Nesta’s nostrils flared. Cassian’s red hot challenge bore a hole into the side of her head, and all she could hear was his taunt from before.

Sweetheart, the rules are pretty clear. But if you want to make sure they stay nice and loose so you can back out later, I get that.

She snapped her attention to his face, suppressing the urge to throttle him for the narrow-eyed smirk he offered. Angling his large body backward, he draped a muscled arm across the back of the couch and eased his thighs open. Cassian wouldn't be the one to back down, she realized.

"Fine." Nesta threw back the rest of her drink and set it roughly on the nearby table.

Cassian's eyes were sparkling, his smile feline. He tapped his thigh with his free hand to goad her, and she wondered if he— if they— would ever tire of the constant challenges. Nesta sauntered over and dropped heavily into the center of his lap, earning a loud oof.

"Fuck, Sweetheart," he fussed, gripped her waist in his large hands to rearrange their position.

The heat of his hands, the scrape of his calluses; they came together to monopolize her focus. She was almost sure that others were amused by their display, but her world was singularly focused.

Cassian cleared his throat while he eased her into a position that better balanced her weight. The tension eased from her thighs as she settled, only for him to shift her again. Nesta let out an exaggerated sigh at his constant fidgeting. The only silver lining to the near motion sickness she'd no doubt endure as a result was the steadiness of his grip against her.

The reason for all his maneuvering revealed itself seconds later. Nesta had been initially impressed with the muscle tone in his thighs, how firm the muscles felt beneath her. They were nothing in comparison to the very obvious hardness pressing against the swell of her ass.

Animated conversation continued around them, and Nesta took the opportunity to turn and offer an accusatory glare. He hissed against the pressure of her movement, sending her eyebrows into her hairline.

"Are you really h—"

"Shh!" Cassian ordered, clamping a hand over her mouth. "Can you not announce that shit to the entire room?"

Nesta blinked incredulously and dragged her tongue against his palm. He grimaced, rubbing his palm against his jeans as if she'd poured acid onto his skin.

"It's not my fault you can't... control that," she hissed.

"Well, shit, Nesta. When's the last time you had a beautiful woman on your lap and had to keep your boner in check?" His whisper was low, frantic. There were words that latched onto her nerves and left goosebumps in their wake, even when she barely heard them.

"It's only two turns," she managed, swallowing against the dryness in her throat. "Then, it'll be a non-issue."

Cassian's hands clung to her hips once more, the delicious grip of them even firmer than before. "You can't get up now; not in front of them." He gestured with a jerk of his chin to the rest of the room. "They're savages."

A laugh bubbled out of Nesta's chest, and surprisingly, it was more due to the unlikely alliance forged by biology than her pleasure in his panic. The irony wasn't lost on her, but she didn't get to dwell on it for long before Cassian started strategizing.

"We're supposed to get along, right?" He paused, waiting for the excessive noise level to settle around them. Someone must have performed a solid dare, and Nesta was mildly concerned that it hadn't managed to be a blip on their radar. "You're gonna have to keep fighting with me."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "To be clear, you want me to argue with you so that we can hide this?" She rocked back into him for emphasis, and a pained sound left him. Nesta was grateful for the small silver lining that was her private arousal, otherwise she and Cassian would be in the same boat. The way his eyelids fluttered didn't help.

"I'm asking your for a small favor. When I get my shit together, you're free to go. I'm not exactly happy about it either."

Another smile teased her lips. "Small?"

"Mother's tits. Just turned around."

Nesta complied, if for no other reason than to hide the chuckle she'd been trying to choke down throughout the conversation. They engaged with the others as nonchalantly as possible, ignoring each other completely until opportunities arose to take opposing stances on anything at all. The rules of the game. Who brought the best drinks. If someone had successfully completed their dare or answered their question. Cassian had been correct in assuming the group would advocate for their continued canoodling since they weren't yet cooperating with one another.

"Nesta," he almost growled, sometime after a dozen turns of their faux discord. "This isn't helping."

She whipped around, noting the pained expression on his face. "Wait, is this working for you?"

Cassian squeezed his temples between his thumb and middle finger, looking as if he was in as much disbelief as her. The tragic part was that the arguing hadn't curbed her own body's reactions to him, either.

"That's what it looks like."

Nesta didn't cage it then, the full and melodic laughter that shook her shoulders and made her eyes water. He continued bracing his head in his hand while she delighted in his torture.

"That's awfully kinky of you."

"Alright, enough out of you," he grumbled, situating her for the hundredth time. "You have any better ideas?"

Tears pooled in her eyes, and she flicked them away. "I guess your only choice is to wait until the game ends, or someone causes enough commotion for you to adjust and take a break for a few minutes."

Cassian huffed, clearly unimpressed with her tactics.

"You'll just have to trust me, of all people, to keep your secret in the meantime," she stated, turning her attention back to the room.

His only response was a muttered curse before she felt his forehead drop between her shoulder blades.

[theoverlyenthusiasticwriter]

Dawn

Fanfiction Masterlist

Just pure, undiluted fluff.

Nesta woke to an empty bed.

Confused, she patted the sheets beside her to find them still warm, as if he’d only just risen. It was hardly dawn, but she supposed it wasn’t abnormal for him to be up this early.

Her sleepy eyes trailed away from the abandoned sheets to the light coming from beneath the bathroom door, where she could hear the sounds of a bath beginning to fill. She slid out of bed, padding on bare feet to the door.

Cassian was washing his face in the sink when she came in, squinting against the lamp light. He smiled at her in the slightly fogged mirror. “Good morning, my love. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Keep reading

[unhealthyfanobsession]

My prompt is Nesta flirting with Cassian in front of the IC and making him blush with happiness. It could be after or before the Mating Ceremony, it's also about the IC getting used with Nessian as an affectionate couple, the kind of always kiss when they meet and say goodbye.

Ok I went a little different with this one, but still a fluff bomb which I think was the assignment.

“Wait!” Feyre raised her arm high enough to slam into Rhys’ chest. Her other hand lifting a finger to her lips as she turned a sharp look in his direction.

Rhys raised his eyebrows as if to ask what? Feyre pointed to the room just around the corner.

Both of their eyes wide in abject wonder, they watched their siblings.

Nesta was curled up in Cassian’s lap on an overstuffed gray arm chair, head tucked into his chest. Her legs dangled off one arm of the chair, Cassian’s broad hand splayed across her thighs. His own head bent so that his chin rested atop her braided coronet.

“Do we have to do the ceremony?” Nesta mumbled softly, fingers fisted in the fabric of Cassian’s shirt as if it was the only thing anchoring her to the universe. His wings furled inward, cocooning her. “I feel like this is ceremony enough,” she sighed. “Just me and you and our hearts beating together.”

“You were the one who wanted the ceremony, love.” Cassian’s voice was light in a way Feyre - and from the look on his face, even Rhys - had never heard it.

“I wanted to show you off,” Nesta mumbled quietly. “I always knew I’d have a big wedding. Something elaborate and grand. It was just what I was raised to expect. I was raised to show off wealth and prosperity. But I never thought…” Cassian’s arms tightened around her and Nesta nestled even closer into him - if that was possible. “I never thought I would be proud of the person I was marrying. The title, maybe. The money if he had it. But not… not the person.”

Cassian’s fingers started to trace light circles around Nesta’s thigh and Feyre could tell that Rhys was about ready to break up the moment. So she dug her nails into his chest. He raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Well, I do have money and a title as well, Sweetheart.” Cassian teased.

“I’d have rejected the bond of you didn’t.” Nesta deadpanned. Cassian huffed a laugh. “Strange to think that there was a time when you believed that of me,” Nesta said gently.

Feyre went still. Suddenly guilty at her eavesdropping. She wasn’t in their minds, and they were talking loudly, but still…

“No,” Cassian pressed a kiss to Nesta’s forehead. “I thought you were proud and cunning and a little shallow, maybe, but I never thought you were heartless. Everything you do is to hide how much you care.”

“That’s not fair,” Nesta sighed. “How you get to be inside of my head.”

“I don’t need to be inside of your head to know you, Nes. I don’t need a bond to know you. To love you.”

Rhys made a gagging sound inside Feyre’s mind and she tightened her nails yet again.

“So we can stay here all day instead of going to the ceremony?”

Not after how much it cost me, Rhys scoffed into Feyre’s mind.

“I’ve never been wrong before,” Amren crashed through the beautiful moment before Feyre could snatch at her back. “I thought surely there was no way I could end up putting up with fools in love more insufferable than the high lord and lady of public eye sex, but here I am, proven wrong. This is SO much worse.”

Elain giggled where she stood slightly behind Amren, a garment bag clutched to her chest.

“This is unnatural,” Rhys shuddered, finally allowed to step out of his corner. “I was promised Lady Death and the Lord of Bloodshed, not sappy and sappier.”

“I’ll show you Lady Death,” Nesta glared at her brother-in-law.

“No murder on your mating ceremony day,” Elain trilled. “It’s bad luck.”

“So I can murder Rhys tomorrow?” Nesta asked.

“No,” Cassian said firmly, hands squeezing her waist tightly. “You’re all mine for at least a week after today.” Nesta pouted and Cassian pressed his lips to her forehead, “After that, we can murder Rhys together.”

“Best mating gift ever.” Nesta nodded.

“Now this,” Amren nodded, “is love.”

[julemmaes]

Taking Care Of Her

Nesta Archeron x Cassian

prompt: nessian month - period fic

A/N: I know it's like the 26th of July and Nessian Month started on the 1st but I'm probably gonna post the fics in August. In the meanwhile, here, the period fic for my sweet bby @perseusannabeth cause she needs it.

This has more of a slight angst turn in the first half, but yeah. You've been warned:)

word count: 5,643

Cassian was counting the seconds since the first twinge of pain had shot through the bond.

He had been in the middle of a haughty discussion with one of the Lords and the moment that golden thread inside him had tensed he had stopped talking, almost hitting the male in front of him.

Nesta?

He had tried to reach her.

What's going on? Where are you?

His wife and mate had taken far too long to answer him and when she did, her voice was strained and pained.

Nothing. I was training and I took a nasty blow.

Cassian let out a sigh of relief, turning his attention back to the crowd of pissed-off Illyrians asking why their supplies hadn't arrived when they were already two weeks into the cold season.

He knew they had every reason to be so angry, but apart from reminding Rhysand every day of the severity of the situation, there was little he, as a General, could do. He had managed to convince Mor to help him winnow some supplies to the nearest camps, but this one, located over the highest mountain beyond the border between the Illyrian territories and the city, was the one taking the most hits and the one to which he could provide little to nothing.

"Our children are starving and the fire isn't enough to keep our soldiers warm!" someone in the back of the tent they had set up for meetings was shouting.

Cassian ran a hand through his hair, "I know it's not the best of situations, but the ships carrying the supplies disappeared three weeks ago," as I've already said seven times, he added mentally, gritting his teeth, "our best spies and guards are trying to figure out what happened."

A soldier who could only be barely past his mature years looked him straight in the eye as he shouted, "That's not good enough!"

That incited several others to join in the howls, and soon Cassian found himself shoved left and right as a horde of Illyrians moved closer and closer to him, threatening. Without so much as stirring, he ran a hand over his siphons, letting some of the power that had earned him the title he now proudly wore show itself to the crowd before him.

He spread his wings just enough to regain some of the space he needed to be able to speak and be seen as he said, "Your High Lord asked you to move from here well before the frigid winds arrived. We knew there would be complications and you have been provided with temporary territory across the border."

He was about to point out that it had been their choice when the pain returned, so severe that Cassian's breath failed him.

He turned towards the exit of the tent, shutting out all noise around him as he tried to remind himself that whoever was hurting Nesta wasn't doing it with the intent of causing her pain, just training.

He had almost reached a bearable level of anger when he heard her whimperinside his head.

Nesta, either tell Emerie to take it easy or stop.

Normally he would never have asked one of his soldier to halt a duel, but in a normal situation, Nesta shouldn't have been taking such hard blows that she would lose control of the bond between them and make him feel her pain.

And then a thought hit him so hard that his knees buckled.

He was going to ask her if she was all right, if she was okay - praying to the Mother that his doubts were just that and not the reality of things. Praying that Nesta hadn't lied to him and that she was safe, up in the House with the other Valkyries.

It was at that moment that he felt it, strong and bending, as if the pain was his own. It stopped being an understanding of what she was sending down the bond, a sensation he could associate with her pain, and became his.

And as if the world around him did not exist, Cassian leapt into the air, piercing the roof of the tent that had grown more stifling by the minute. The Illyrian’s screams followed him until he broke through the cloud barrier and was engulfed in the booming freezing rain.

"Nesta." he said her name aloud, too blinded by fear, by worry, to realise he hadn't communicated through the bond.

He ran a hand over his eyes, removing the hair that was gradually getting wet and picking up speed, rising higher and higher, looking for the right air currents.

And as he flew over the mountains, peak after peak, the pain became unbearable.

Cassian didn't want to believe it, didn't want to imagine what was happening, but his mind was showing him every raw, violent scene it could create.

And it wasn't fair.

They had just found happiness.

It wasn't fair that it was being taken away from them, not so soon, not ever.

Cassian was screaming down the bond, trying to reach Rhys and Feyre, Mor or Azriel, anyone who could spare him the hours he still had to reach her, but none of them answered and he screamed into the void before him, tears welling up in his eyes.

He closed them for a second, taking a deep breath.

Nesta, I need you to tell me where you are.

He received no reply and the air clamped down in his throat, panic beginning to press on his chest.

It couldn't be. It couldn't be-

The pain suddenly ceased, the bond relaxed and the tightrope inside him sagged, vibrating with that love that vibrated every second of every day, shaking his very core.

He felt her, she was still alive, but he still sensed her discomfort. Her fear.

Up to that moment he had not been able to distinguish his from hers, but now that his mind was no longer blinded by her pain, he could clearly feel that sour taste of terror that outlined the bond.

If he had been reassured by that small change in her physical state, now his worry was reaching levels that would have driven him mad if he hadn't found her instantly.

Panic was gripping him, he couldn't think straight as the weather worsened and the rain persisted in getting into his eyes.

He had never flown like this in his entire life, the muscles in his back pulling and contracting in agony every time he increased his speed.

"Nesta!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, letting himself fall several metres, looking for a current to push him north. "Nes-" his name died in his throat, choked by a sob as the bond closed completely. He opened his eyes wide, stopping short.

She'd locked him out.

She had locked him out.

Whoever had captured her was making her lose all sense of reality if she couldn't keep the gates of her mind under control like this.

Cassian was now fully certain that Nesta could not be in Velaris. Whatever had happened, Nesta was in danger.

He roared into the sky, flapping his wings again and again, flying back to the city, screaming for anyone who could hear him to come and get him, to take him to her. To help him.

"Help me!" he sobbed.

Never in his five hundred years had Cassian felt so weak, so powerless, as his heart clenched so tightly that it brought him physical pain and his wings did not beat fast enough. And though he knew he couldn't do it, as he let his body, his muscles, take over his movements, he tried to shift through the folds of reality, as Rhys had explained to him the first time he had winnowed. He imagined the distance between him and her and tried to move through the realm that had never been his to control.

And failed.

Screaming in frustration he resumed flying like a madman.

Cassian.

A sigh from her. His name.

And Cassian saw the stars flickering with hope.

"Nesta?" Nesta. Where are you? What is happening?

Silence greeted him.

Please, love. Give me a sign.

And it was at that very moment that something in his back pulled so hard it tore and Cassian began to fall as he cried in pain.

He tried to flail his wings, but the entire right side of his body was unresponsive and he felt nothing as he lost total control of his limbs. The world began to spin around him, he could see the tops of mountains and clouds shuffling by and he couldn't think of anything but Nesta, what was being done to her.

He began to cry as soon as his back hit the tree branches and he knew there would be no way for him to get to her in time.

There was nothing he could have done.

The bond flickered between them, opening every few seconds, making him feel her pain and despair mingling with his and he prayed that somehow she could hear the words of reassurance he was sending her, the caresses he was trying to convey through the bond. He prayed that his mind was not as damaged as hers right now, cause the thought of sending her his pain while she already was in it herself was killing him slowly.

As soon as he hit the ground, the air in his lungs was knocked out and he gasped for a few minutes there, a hand on his chest that didn't seem to want to expand. He turned his head to the left and his entire back screamed to just stopstopstop.

He tried to get up, but he couldn't, and he wanted to stop sobbing, but the pain was too much, the fear for his mate blinding.

He didn't know how long he stood there until Rhys's voice filled his head and seconds later Azriel appeared beside him. It was a moment, but his brother's eyes went wide, watching the way Cassian was dragging himself across the wet ground, crawling like many months before, in Hybern.

"What happened?"

"Nesta." he breathed, "Take me to Nesta."

And Azriel didn't make him repeat it twice. With no small amount of difficulty he managed to pull him up enough to rest him on his back and then they were enveloped in shadows.

They appeared a few metres above the terrace of the House, the awkward and disastrous landing only adding to the pain from the muscle that had surely ripped in his back, but a shred of hope - that Nesta was there, in their house, with the others - kept him so distracted that he did not hear Azriel's complaints, his questions.

He staggered into the house, calling her name.

Cries of pain and groans were the only response.

And then Feyre's voice, ordering her to calm down, to let her help her.

Cassian wished he had more control over what he was about to do. He wished he hadn't been driven by the bond, but the hours he'd wasted trying to reach her had driven him to the brink, and now that he'd found her there was no way for him but to jump into the void.

With Azriel hot on his heels chasing him as if he had been a wild dog, Cassian launched himself up the stairs, grunting and struggling against the restrictions his own body was imposing on him.

Running down the hallway, Feyre only had a moment to realize who was coming, but she didn't have time to react when Cassian grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her into the wall.

"What did you do to her?"

His High Lady gasped in surprise, raising a hand towards Azriel when he approached his brother menacingly, but tightening his grip on the child she held in her arms. Feyre wasn't looking at Azriel though, her eyes were fixed on Cassian's. Unfocused, glossy and red eyes.

She whispered, “She’s fine.”

A flash of understanding passed across her gaze and she placed a hand on Cassian's chest, taking a steady breath, and he shuddered, seeming to return to the world of the living, seeming to realise that Nyx was standing there in between them and crying. Nyx was crying because of him.

He shuddered again, breathing through his nostrils, and then blinked, letting go of Feyre as if she'd been scorching and turned his head towards the bed in their room.

The smell of blood hadn't hit him immediately, but there was so much of it on the covers. And the scent of it filled the room like a heavy blanket.

He turned to Feyre and Azriel, flinching at the abrupt movement, "Call Madja."

Feyre nodded softly, "I already have, Cass," she said. She turned to Azriel, handing him Nyx, who stopped crying the second he laid his head on the Spymaster's shoulder and his shadows began to play with his tiny feet.

Cassian looked away, finally approaching the bed, where Nesta was squirming, tangling with the grimy sheets. Her face contorted into an expression of pain, her forehead sweating and the muscles in her arms twitching.

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked in a grave, scratchy voice, starting to pull the crimson-stained blankets aside.

He heard Azriel walking away down the hall, talking softly to the little one.

"We arrived less than five minutes ago. She didn't alert anyone," Feyre explained. "We were all under strict commands not to keep our mental lines open. Rhys and I were in a meeting and Azriel was in the Autumn Court forest when we opened the lines again and he heard you." she continued as she walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He winced.

He continued to untangle Nesta from the sheets slowly, one-armed as he tried to keep Feyre from realizing he was hurt, but he managed to throw out a few words despite the fact that every little movement caused him an immense amount of pain. "And it didn't occur to you to warn me?" he was angry. At Nesta. At himself for not realizing she never had her cycle before. At his family for not telling him immediately that his mate wasn’t being tortured.

Nesta whimpered at that moment, folding even more on herself. Feyre made the poor choice of extending a hand towards her and Cassian couldn't stop himself from grabbing her wrist and pushing her back, growling weakly.

He shut his eyes, trying to calm himself, but when Nesta murmured his name, the need to take care of her and get her away from anyone who wasn't him became too much. Even in a normal situation, he would have endured the presence of a few with Nesta in such a vulnerable state, but with such damage on himself, the likelihood of him winning if it came to a confrontation diminished as the seconds passed.

And as much as Cassian was trying to convince his body that Feyre wasn't a threat at that moment, his brain seemed to have stopped functioning logically.

"I need you to get out. Send Majda when you can get her up here."

Feyre nodded, huffing faintly and reminding him that if he needed a hand they would be in the kitchen.

He didn't even acknowledge her and let out a sigh of relief when he heard the door close.

Nesta had not been kidnapped. She had only started her cycle.

He kept repeating himself.

He had finally managed to free her from the many covers and wondered how long it would take him to get up if he knelt beside the bed. Reasoning that it would take too long, he slid a hand under her back, moving her as far as he could towards the edge until she was close enough to him.

Nesta was so out of it with pain that she didn't understand what was going on, and seeing her like this was definitely not a pretty sight or something Cassian would want to experience, but it was still better than anything he'd managed to think of while flying here.

He slid her legs over the mattress, pulling her up to sit until her head was resting against his stomach and Cassian breathed through the pain, wrapping his good arm around her hips and pulling her up. He dragged himself towards the bathroom, keeping his injured hand holding her head the best he could.

Nesta moaned his name, lifting a hand and resting it on his arm.

"I know baby," he murmured. "I know."

She opened her eyes slightly as he eased her into the tub and sighed when she realised who was hovering over her, as if she had only been repeating his name in her feverish state until that moment.

"Cassian, I... I felt you." Nesta had to stop and catch her breath, as if she'd just run a marathon, and his chest tightened into an iron grip. He knelt beside her, running a hand over her sweaty face as her body was shaken by a wave of shivers. "It all hurts so much."

He continued to absentmindedly stroke her cheek, "Madja's on her way over and she's going to give you some teas to ease the pain."

She looked up at him, trying to smile, and Cassian saw the exact moment a cramp hit her because her face contorted into a grimace and the hand that was now wrapped around his wrist squeezed it so tightly that it cut off his circulation.

He placed his right hand on her stomach, fighting the screams of his muscles as he massaged her lower abdomen, applying pressure while trying not to hurt her. He searched her eyes when she managed to open hers, "Is that better?"

Nesta shook her head, gritting her teeth, and he stopped his movements immediately, starting to remove his hand. She moved faster than he thought possible and put his hand back on her stomach, "Don't move, but stay there. The warmth helps."

Cassian nodded slowly, opening his fingers and trying to cover as much skin as he could.

He glanced down at her legs and a curse escaped his control, "Mother, Nesta, is it normal that there is so much blood?"

Nesta tilted her head to the side, frowning deeply, "You should be the one with all the answers. This is the first time I've had my period since I was turned."

He smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry, I’m not used to find my lovers covered in their blood after hours of feeling their pain through our magical bond, you know.”

If looks could kill, Cassian would have died on the spot right there.

He tried to break another smile, but then something came to his mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” he asked her with a serious tone, turning his gaze to her body, “Were you actually training or did you just lie? Cause I could feel your pain and I- you scared me. I thought-” he stopped talking, not wanting to relive those hours of utter panic.

Before she could answer, he keept on talking, “Want me to clean you up before the healer gets here? I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

She nodded weakly, closing her eyes once again and leaning against the side of the tub “If it’s not a bother and it doesn’t disgust you.” adding a small, “I’m sorry, I’d do it myself, but I really have no strengh left in me.”

Cassian’s features softened. He leaned down to kiss her brow, murmuring a soft, “Don’t worry about that, I’ve got you. And it’s just blood.”

He started rising, moving as if his body was intact and forgetting he had his back in pieces, and he groaned loudly, keenly forcibly and closing his hands into fists to restrain from screaming.

Fuck-

Nesta was sitting in a second, eyes wide as she took him in – her pain seemingly forgotten. She brought her hand to his shoulder, squeezing, “Are you hurt?”

He shook his head, fighting off a wave of nausea as he kept his eyes shut.

“No,” he said, shaking his head again. He forced himself to look up at her, smiling, “I’m fine, just a bit sore from the cold.”

Nesta lips twitched and he knew his face must have been drained of all colors, his true emotions written all over his expression for her to read, “From the cold?”

Cassian could already feel the lie on the tip of his tongue as the bathroom door opened slightly. They both turned in time to see Madja's head pop into the room, "Sorry, I tried knocking but you didn't hear me."

Nesta opened her mouth, but Cassian was once again as taut as a string and spread his healthy wing wide until it completely covered his mate's view of the healer's eyes, "Give us a few minutes, we'll be out in a bit."

Madja simply nodded and smiled reassuringly at him.

The second the door closed he let out a breath of relief, turning back to Nesta, who was now watching him with a hard stare.

"What was that?" she asked.

Cassian sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Feeling you suffer through the bond fucked something up in my behavior today, okay? I'm a bit tense right now and-"

Nesta held up her hand, stopping him and talking with labored breath through another wave of cramps, "I wasn't talking about your usual overbearing mother hen bullshit. What happened to your wing?"

Cassian ignored her completely, standing up and holding back every sound his body was begging him to make to relieve some of the torture that was torn muscles. He limped over to the bowl of water, wetting two cloths.

He kneeled again, with some difficulty, while sensing her gaze fixed on him.

He sighed, laying a hand on her knee and spreading her legs gently. He started rubbing the cloth on her skin, scratching away the dried blood. “I tore my back muscles.” he confessed.

Nesta soft gasp almost made him laugh, but the sound soon turned into a half crying and Cassian stopped his movements, placing his hand of her aching belly.

When she gave him the thumbs up, he keept on cleaning her skin. He helped her out of her dirty clothes, the House making a new pair of undergarments and a gown appear next to them. Nesta silently thanked her.

“You’re gonna get out there while I finish cleaning up and you’re gonna ask for something for your muscles before I’m out, or else I’ll start screaming.” she said pointedly. “And you really don’t want that right now.”

Cassian huffed, but seeing as Nesta was able to at least snatch the cloth from his hand and start using it herself, he deemed her caple enough of taking care of that last part of her body.

Without any more complaints, he exited the bathroom, breathing deeply as Madja laid the necessary on their desk. She glanced at him over her shoulder and ordered him to sit down on the edge of the bed and to take off his tunic.

He did as he was told, simply ripping off the material. The idea of having to slip the shirt over his head made him want to puke.

The second his body touched the matress, he closed his eyes, sighing in relief.

He was so godsdamned tired.

Cassian explained what had happened, Madja listening very carefully to know exaclty what to give him.

She’d just strarted wrapping his torso with the bandages to keep his arm and shoulder in place after having massaged the area with some oils and medications, when the bathroom’s door opened and Nesta almost stumbled out, leaning against the wall and holding on so tight her knuckles turned white.

Cassian was on his feet in a second, Madja already scolding him about the abrut movement, “What are you doing? You shouldn’t be walking right now?”

Nesta seized him with her eyes, “Apparently you shouldn’t either, so why don’t you just help me to the bed and then we can pass out together?”

“I think that’s a magnificent idea, Nesta. Here,” Madja helped her get under the clean sheets and Cassian wondered if the House itself had changed them or if the healer had. Either way, he was glad someone else had taken care of that. Madja proceeded to lend a little vial of something to Nesta and Cassian had to push back the urge of sniffing it and be asured it wasn’t poison. “Take these, drink them all. I’m gonna finish wrap up your brute of a husband and then I’ll give the both of you a sleeping tonic.” the female cut them both with a reprimanding look. “Gods only know what you’d do if I didn’t put you out. You’re both terrible when it comes to injuries.”

Nesta looked over at him and gave him a sly smile.

That they couldn’t argue with.

It wasn’t long after Madja had bandaged him that he lay down next to his mate.

The healer left them finally alone and Nesta seemed to be in an already better state of mind. Her eyes were glazed over as she took him in and a small laugh escaped her when he tried to move closer to her and his now-immobilised arm prevented him.

“Wait, I’ll come there.” she whispered and Cassian let go of a breath, waiting for her to get close and falling on his back, careful not to put too much of his weight on his right side. When she didn’t move a inch, he glanced at her.

Her lips were slightly parted, plump and rosy, they were calling for him, to be kissed, brushed with his tongue. She coughed wearily, smiling at him, “I can’t move.” she laughed.

He shook his head, bringing a hand to his face and trying to wipe some of that sudden tiredness from his body. “Mother’s tits, whatever Madja gave us is strong as hell.”

Nesta laughed weakly again and Cassian couldn’t help but follow her.

It was like flying on clouds, just as he felt when he used to smoke those hallucinogenic herbs with Azriel when they were young. No pain in his body, nothing, as he breathed in his wife’s scent.

He plopped on his side, strecthing an arm towards Nesta and pulling her to his chest. She instantly grabbed on his bicepts, feeling the linen cloths Madja had used to wrap his body to keep him still.

She leaned her head on his chest, next to her hand, right over his heart and listened to that steady beat for a while. He knew it was something that grounded her and just before she could fell asleep, he felt as much as he heard the rustle of his wings moving on their own, creating a safe cocoon around her. She pressed a kiss to his nude skin and he shivered, before darkness claimed him.

***

Cassian was leaning against the bathroom door as Nesta’s soft whimpers hit his eardrums as if they were cannonballs from inside the room.

“Let me in, Nes.” he sighed for the hundreth time. “I literally just want to help.”

She groaned loudly, “Go fuck yourself.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You want me to take some food for you while I go there?” he tried to joke. The answering growl was enough answer.

Well, he didn’t really care what she wanted at that moment, it’d been a whole day and a half since she’d last eaten something, claiming even just the smell of it made her want to puke her insides out, but she needed it, no matter what she thought, and if he had to shove it down her throat to feed her, he would.

He drank another one of the tonics left by Madja before heading down the corridor and the stairs. Not that he particularly needed it – he’d already taken three and his body was used to much worse pain than what he was in right now – but the healer had made him promise that he’d take all five of them and he wasn’t gonna disobey her.

He could his family’s chattings from here. And he didn’t like it.

As soon as he entered the kitchen, he was welcomed by his entire family having lunch at their dinner table. He stopped in his tracks, eyeing them all with a wary look.

“What are you doing here?”

Rhys, with his usual smirk on the lips, leaned back on his chair, “Having lunch, obviously.”

Cassian merely looked at him, looking for something to bring back to his bedroom that wouldn’t make Nesta throw up again. “And why are you having lunch in my house?”

“We were worried about Nesta.” was Feyre’s answer. “About you, too. You two haven’t exited that room in two days. You sure you don’t need anything?”

He looked up at her, shaking his head, “I need you to leave so we can rest in peace.”

Mor scoffed, “Ever the gentleman, you big baby.”

Cassian had to restrain from pointing out that he hadn’t invited them and that Rhys had gifted him and Nesta the House months before and that technically that meant they couldn’t just pop in whenever they wanted to.

“We also heard her lashing out at you,” Amren added, picking at her food.

“You might need help taming her.” joked Mor once again.

Azriel was shaking his head, looking at him and knowing precisely where this was heading.

Before anyone could had to the apparently endless list of jokes someone could make on a person’s period, Cassian held up his hands, “I’m gonna go back to my room and bring Nesta food, if when I come back you’re all still here, we’re gonna have problems. Understood?”

He left without anymore words, but he heard clearly the moment Rhys winnowed them all away, cause the House fell silent.

His shoulder sagged in relief and he couldn’t have been more content to find Nesta sitting on the bed, clutching a pillow to her stomach as if her life depended on it. He surely wasn’t happy she was still in so much pain, but the fact she wasn’t bent over their toilet, hurling her guts out, was an improvement.

Her eyes snapped to him, “I need you to punch me to death.”

Cassian’s eyes widened, “What?”

She cried out, banging her head on the headboard behind her, “I want it to stop.” she whined. “It’s all your fault and your stupid super uterus.” she started ranting while Cassian put down the tray with their lunch on the cupboard. “If you hadn’t started loving me, I could still have my normal uterus, not this Illyrian monster creator.” she pointed a finger at him.

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him, “So it’s my fault, mh?”

She looked at him and her eyes closed thightly for a few seconds as she breathed throught the cramps and when she reopened them they were glossy. She whispered as she nodded, “It’s easier to blame you.”

Cassian kneeled on the bed, reaching out to her with both his hands, “Want me to give you a massage?”

When Nesta sighed through her nostrils and gave a small nod, he helped her lay down and pestered her back with light kisses, kneading the skin of her hips under his expert hands and making her moan as her pain subdued.

When she could sit again, they got up from the bed and Cassian took her near the window, where he sat on the mat and opened his legs wide for her to take her place there. She smiled broadly at him and he had to restrain from making her aware of the mood swings she was going through, almost scared that she’d start crying once she realized.

They ate in peace, admiring the view that was Velaris so close to the Solstice, Cassian’s hands never leaving her back as he kept on massagging her.

“Cassian,” she murmured at some point.

“Mh?”

“I don’t want you to put your body through all this whenever I’m on my period.” she said, still looking out the window, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately what was going on, but I-”

He squeezed her shoulders, “You were in pain and you were scared, sweetheart, it’s nothing.”

Nesta shook his hands off her and turned to face him. She looked him straight in the eye, “But it’s not nothing. What you did was reckless and you tore your back cause you thought I was in danger-”

He couldn’t the stop the words from falling from his lips, “I thought you were being tortured.”

Nesta tensed up. She looked down at her joined hands and when she looked up again, her lips were quivering, “I’m sorry. I just…” she took a steadying breath, “You know I have trouble asking for help. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Cassian wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close to his chest and left a kiss on her hair. “It’s okay, Nes, I overreacted.” he said, even thought he didn’t really believe those words.

Nesta didn’t seem to believe them as well, cause they kept on talking about what had gone down the day before for hours, between her moments of anger and sadness, until she fell asleep in his arms.

Looking down at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face, he smiled, thanking the gods who had listened that she was safe.

He took her to the bed and laid out next to her, cradling her body as if he were a dragon and her the most precious diamond in the collection.

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