âY/n?â His voice rings out a soft echo. The only noise in my room tonight. I simply answered so the incessant buzzing on my nightstand would finally cease. If only I had checked the contact, I wouldnât be sitting up straight in bed, staring into the black of my room.
âHello?â I answer back after a long enough pause for both of us to know that I have just woken up and I wasnât fully aware of what I was answering.
âIâm sorry to wake you. I forgot what time it is there right now.â I can hear some shuffling on his end, it sounds like heâs getting up and walking around. He must be in London right now, not in his home only a ten minute drive from mine in Malibu. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, letting my comforter drop from my shoulders.
âWhatâs wrong Harry?â I ask, cutting to the chase. The slight nervous edge in his voice tells me that something is most definitely wrong. I canât just sit in silence waiting for the world to stop, I need him to spit it out. Spit out whatever made him call me after nearly a year of no longer being together.
âI had a leak. Someone hacked my phone.â
I donât know what I was expecting, but this was far from it. I let out a sigh, heâs okay. At least physically. I can feel a slight weight lift off my chest, but itâs far from light still.
âOkay?â I prompt for him to continue.
âItâs pictures of you, Y/n.â
And to think I was worried about him. His words make my ears ring for a few seconds. An eerie pitch fills the void between us, neither of us knowing the words to help this situation.
I switch Harry to speaker and open twitter, ignoring the mass texts that are coming in right now. My manager and my publicist ranting on our group chat but the messages fade into the background as soon as my eyes cross the trending page.
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me.â My hands start shaking as I look over the images shared with the entire world. Not even just one, multiple over the time we shared a relationship.
A picture I sent him on tour, standing in our mirror with not a thread of clothing. Bare as the day I was born. I remember taking this picture as a tease right before he had to take the stage at Madison Square Garden. Now more people than can fit in Madison Square Garden have seen that picture.
Next, is a picture of me in a rather compromising position on my knees looking up at him. Itâs not hard to tell what was happening or about to happen. Harry took this one, It was already a hot night for us, and somehow him pulling out his phone snapping a quick picture made it even hotter. Now I need to worry about my family ever seeing this.
Finally, the most modest of the group, a picture of me in simple dark red lingerie thrown on the bed by Harry. Once again, a picture that Harry had snapped himself. I had just come home from tour and he answered our door and I dropped everything I had, including the clothes I had been wearing. He chased me up to our room, he finally caught me in our room and literally threw me on the bed. He pulled out his phone claiming he wanted to remember the sheer joy he was feeling in that moment. Now itâs bringing me dread.
Tweet after tweet sharing the same group of photos.
Harry doesnât say a single word, knowing that Iâve seen exactly what he was trying to break down to me.
âOh my god.â I shutter, refreshing as the tweets come in by the hundreds.
I hang up before he can utter another word. I canât speak with him right now, knowing exactly whoâs to blame for putting me out there like that. We broke up nearly a year ago, if he had simply deleted the photos once the relationship was over, maybe we wouldnât be here.
I read the thread of messages between Jordan my manager and Paula my publicist. Both are trying to diffuse the situation. I wonder how they found out, did they get a call at two in the morning from Jeff?
I simply reply that in the morning to meet at my house to get everything sorted out, thereâs no point in stressing over what we canât change and losing sleep over it. They both agree to be at my house bright and early at seven.
I put my phone back down and pull myself under the covers. At least for a few more hours this canât be real. A few more hours I can hide under the covers and pretend that this isnât happening.
I put coffee on, knowing that the girls will be here any moment, hopefully with a plan in hand on how we can diffuse the situation.
âGood morning.â Paula smiles cheerily followed by Jordan who just has a tight smile.
âPlease tell me thereâs something we can do.â I sit down on my touch, letting my hands warm on the mug.
âYes, we-kind of!â Paula gushes.
I look to Jordan for a clear answer. Paula has always been a little nuttier, I love her to death, but right now I need serious and I need a plan. I need cold and honest.
âI talked with Jeff for a while last night and we both agree that we think itâs best for us to meet up together to discuss a course of action in person. We have a flight in an hour.â
âSo youâre telling me that my nudes leak from his phone and now I have to hop on a plane to go see him?â My jaw must reach the floor by now.
âItâll be better to get this all sorted out with both teams together. We have the same common goal here, we just want to make this look a little better.â
âEasy for you to say when itâs not your body trending on Twitter.â
âI wasnât the one sending them.â She raises her brow, sheâs told me a dozen times to never put myself in a position like this. That there canât be any leaks when you donât take anything private.
I climb upstairs to my room and grab a bag to start packing. I throw on a cute sweat suit and find a pair of dark tinted sunglasses. If anything, the airport is the last place I should be right now. The paparazzi are worse than theyâve ever been, even with Harry, Iâve never been bombarded like this. They throw question after question to me, hoping to get the first scoop on me the morning after it leaked. While itâs still hot and trending with every news outlet.
âJesus.â Paula mutters, âStill got all your fingers and toes?â
I smile finally, âIâm fine, thank you.â
The flight is peaceful, thankfully. Jordan types a mile a minute on her laptop next to me. Surely, trying to work out a plan and get as many pictures taken down as possible. Not that it matters now, itâs out in the world forever now.
A sleek black car picks us up and drives the familiar route to Harryâs London home. We pull into the driveway and it knocks the air out of my lungs as soon as my feet hit the ground. Thereâs several cars that donât belong to Harry, which means itâs a full house today.
I let Jordan walk in first, letting myself weakly trail behind. I havenât seen Harry since the break up. Maybe once at an award show, but it was far away and we didnât exchange words. I definitely didnât think I would be stepping into his house again.
âJordan.â Jeff greets, getting up from the dining table where it looks like people have set up camp. A whole crew of people making calls, scouring Twitter, and god knows what else.
âHi, Jeff.â She smiles.
I look around a little, trying not to be obvious. The house looks the same, Hardly a single thing out of place in over a year. Not that I expect it too, I never fully lived here outside of a few weeks at a time. Itâs not like our shared Malibu home that we sold in the break up. This place was always predominantly his.
Speaking of Harry, finally he looks up from his phone, he had been biting at his cuticles probably worrying, panicking. He tucks his phone in his back pocket and walks over to the rest of us. Paula instantly pulls him down for a hug, she always loved him.
He lets out a soft laugh and bends down to hug her short stature. We make eye contact a few times, but never say anything.
âI wish this was under different circumstances.â Paula whispers, even though we still all catch it.
âNo hug? Harry teases Jordan. They were never close but at least heâs attempting to lighten the mood. Harry is probably the last person on this planet that she wants to hug.
âIâm not your biggest fan right now.â Jordan sighs, her steel cold gaze returns. I bite back a smirk over how protective she can be sometimes.
âY/n, I-â Harry starts, finally turning his full attention to me.
âY/n!â A louder voice cuts him off, I glance over his shoulder to see Gemma getting up from the couch in the living room, Anne close behind.
âOh my god, Iâve missed you!â She pulls me in for a hug, her arms pulling me in tight, as if to make up for the months of nearly no contact.
âIâve missed you too, Gem.â I tighten my grip around her.
Anne appears in my line of vision now, smiling softly. I release my grip on Gemma and she does the same, Anne taking her place.
âYouâll get through this, darling.â She whispers softly as she rubs her hand up and down my back. Her words bring tears to my eyes. Iâve tried to not let myself be sad about this. Iâve only felt anger, but hugging Anne has opened the floodgates. âYouâre strong.â
âI need to freshen up.â I clear my throat, Anne pulls back and smiles.
No one says a word as I excuse myself to the closest guest bathroom. I wash my face with cold water and take a few deep breaths trying to prepare myself somewhat for what I have to go out there and face. I open the door and notice Harry leaning against the wall across from the door.
âHi.â He picks his head up, no longer staring at the ground.â
âY/n I am so sorry. I had no clue any of this would happen. If I had known-â
âWhy did you keep the pictures Harry?â I ask, I want answers not apologies. Heâs still Harry and I know heâs feeling so much guilt right now.
âI donât really know.â He shrugs, âI wasnât being pervy with them, wasnât keeping them for any indecent reason. They were just another memory that I didnât want to lose. I didnât delete any of the pictures.â
I canât think of a response which is fine because Jeff calls for both of us to join them. We sit down at the table along with a few unfamiliar faces. As soon as we do they dive into the details, talking about how somehow Harryâs iCloud was hacked and that meant they had access to all photos.
âWell why are my pictures the only ones out there? Itâs his phone that got hacked!â I yell.
âWe donât know.â Jordan answers, âWe donât know what else they got either. If they have more that theyâre waiting to sell.â
âFuckâs sake.â Harry mutters, rubbing over his eyes.
âWell Harry, got anything else I should worry about? Or any other girls you should warn?â I turn to look at him, a flash of red creeps up his neck and hangs around on his cheeks. It was a low blow, but it slips out before I can stop it.
âThereâs no one else.â Harry answers, âAnd for other pictures I donât know to be completely honest.
âWell, it might help for us to get an idea of what else could be out there. We should try and get an idea of what else the two of you have.â Jeffâs words make me look to Anne, now itâs my turn to blush but she isnât phased by any of it so far.
âWell it could be worse.â A man from Harryâs team states as he shuts his lap top, leaning in to join the conversation.
âHow so?â Gemma prompts crossing her arms over her chest.
âAny publicity is good-â
âDonât you fucking dare finish that sentence.â I cut off the man before he can continue. âYou canât talk. You canât say any publicity is good publicity. Not until your body is trending on Twitter. Not until everyone with social media has seen your body, talked about it, and used it. Not until you have to call your parents and tell them youâre sorry and to stay away from phones for a while. Not until your body is no longer your body.â
The chair loudly scrapes against the floor as I stand up. I canât sit here at the table and listen to them talk about it like itâs not as huge as it is. Because to them this is work, to me itâs my real life. I make my way towards the back porch. Itâs always been one of my favorite spots. Itâs got the best view of the garden.
I trust Jordan for decisions on this. She knows me well enough after all of these years together. Theyâll run anything else past me, but I donât need to be in there while they attempt damage control.
I sit down on the outdoor couch and pull my legs up to my chest. Itâs peaceful for a few minutes and I just let myself bask in it. I could probably fall asleep if I tried, jet lag and all. Itâs soft, but still loud enough for me to hear the door open. I turn to see Harry just standing there, trying not to invade my bubble while still giving me my space.
âCâmon.â I nod to the spot beside me. Thereâs no point in being mad anymore. Whatâs done is done. I will always love Harry more than the drama.
He shuffles over and takes a seat. A slow fog rolls in as it slowly gets darker.
âDo you ever miss it?â His voice quiet and steady. I donât have to ask to know heâs talking about our relationship.
âHarry, we dated for three years, of course Iâm going to miss that. Now whatâs got you all sentimental? See those pictures and remember how good of a lay I am?â I tease bumping his shoulder with mine, with a smirk. He lets out an airy laugh, easing the tension.
âNo, even before these past few days.â He finally looks over at me, tearing his eyes away from the yard, âI always miss you.â
âHarry.â I sigh. âWe both agreed. We were both touring, we never even saw each other. And when we werenât we were stuck in the studio. Different studios I might add.â
âIsnât rarely seeing each other better than never?â
His question hangs in the air, both of us leaving it unanswered.
âI donât know, Harry.â I answer after several minutes. The sun dips below the horizon, and my head dips down to his shoulder. âI donât know.â
I donât know how long we sit like that. The sun is gone now, and the breeze actually feels cold, but Harryâs arm is heavy and warm around my shoulder.
The door suddenly opens causing both of our heads to perk up. Itâs Gemma with the smallest smile on her face.
âTheyâre asking for you guys in there.â
âReady, love?â Harry stands, holding out a hand to pull me up with him.
âWell itâs now or never.â
part two? let me know what you guys think
gracieabrams
blakekathryn
