as usual, there's the time-lapse and some rambling below the cut:
drawing time: 7h
canvas stats:
song reference for the time-lapse:
i really wanted to find a frank ocean song for hunter, and i think seigfried is closely related to how i see him
in germanic/norse mythology there's a hero named siegfried (sigurd in swedish) who bathed in dragon's blood which rendered his skin invulnerable, except for a single spot between his shoulder blades where a falling linden leaf landed. that hidden weakness becomes the point through which he can eventually be killed
in frank ocean’s seigfried he presents himself as someone who may appear untouchable from the outside, while still carrying a concealed vulnerability. the song is about alienation, queer identity/his bisexuality, masculinity, and the pressure to conform. frank considers the socially approved future, a house, a swimming pool, a family, while recognising that choosing it could mean living inside an idea created by other people rather than a life that feels like his own
hunter likely has friends, status, and an established place in bandi as the pastor’s son, but none of those things give him real belonging. that life only has room for the version of hunter that he performs. anything outside that role has to remain hidden, like siegfried’s single vulnerable spot
the repeated admission in the song that he's not brave feels significant. hunter is physically reckless and violent, but recklessness is not the same thing as bravery. he can fight, provoke/bully people, smoke, and yet he cannot openly confront what he wants
seigfried contains the possibility of recognising that the prescribed life is not truly yours and walking away from it. hunter never reaches that recognition in a way that frees him. he senses that the role he has been given is unbearable, but instead of escaping it, he turns the conflict inward. his shame becomes aggression, self-destruction, and punishment
the song shares some lines with elliott smith’s a fond farewell (i added the lyrics to both songs below). the friend in that song can be interpreted as not as a literal person, but as smith’s addicted self, or even the drugs themselves. the title suggests tenderness as well as finality. he's not condemning his former self; he is saying goodbye to a version of himself that once served a purpose, even if it was slowly killing him
a fond farewell contains the desire to separate the self from the destruction: as in this is happening to me, but this is not all that i am. hunter never reaches that distinction. he does not manage to say goodbye to the version of himself built from shame and punishment because he has never been shown that version is worthy of love
i’m not sure hunter ever fully understood that the entity was an entity. he dies still trapped inside the belief that his shame, violence, desire, and self-destruction are simply what he is. but a lot of people do not manage to pull themselves out of destructive patterns, addiction, or family situations/relationships even when they understand what is happening. and doing so without any support is harder still
these are the lyrics for seigfreid and a fond farewell:
forever thinking about the theory that Ryan and Naim DID actually see each other in the forest while naim was running away from entity Ryan and Ryan was (presumably) doing the same. Their timelines seem pretty adjacent in the lead up to meeting at the bus stop because they seem really tired, as if they both hadn’t slept that night while running away from the entity.
The fact that Ryan throws the rock as well just seems so off for entity Ryan, because the real Ryan had never thrown rocks at Naim before and so it seems more like an attempt at self-defence to entity Naim.
It’s so heart wrenching when you realise that omg this is the POINT. This is the point of the movie that they are so blinded by their fear that they attempt to hurt the ones they love most— they FEAR the ones they love most, unable to disconnect the fear of the being from the feelings towards the beings.
That small point of confusion as well— when they both pause to think wait- it might actually be you- until Ryan throws the rock, because HE is the one who was always the bravest and the one that risked it all to show his goal: kissing Naim, putting his hand on his back, touching him on the bus, etc. while in this moment this manifests itself into deciding against this bravery and going all out with fear— hence throwing the rock before risking Naim being the entity despite doubts he may have had.
This, inherently, being what the curse wanted in making them fear each other so much that if the entity didn’t kill them the real ones might.
nothing pisses me off more than journalists referring to sophie nélisse as ‘heated rivalry star’ as if she doesn’t have the lead fucking role in her own show
but misogynistic media doesn’t gaf about sapphic characters, they just want to watch their men of the month fuck on camera
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