DON’T WANNA FALL IN LOVE - lucas sinclair x max mayfield
synopsis: max loves being around lucas too much and is scared of hurting him by falling in love.
warnings: implied racism, max has depression and anxiety
tags: time jump! they’re both high school juniors
authors notes: i fear i can’t put the song based fics/drabbles down, plus this song is so #max coded, i just had to, also wanted to play into her parallels with mike, she’s also a little short n sweet
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Max didn’t really know when it happened, but she did end up actually falling for Lucas Sinclair, the stalker. While he was definitely a bit off-putting at first due to all the initial snooping, she came to find him very endearing. At first she just thought she was feeling happy he kept pursuing her despite her constantly shutting him out. Max just thought she liked the feeling of being chased, the feeling of being worthy of pursuing.
But as she relented and started hanging out with him and his friends more and more, she started feeling scared. Her heart would always beat a little faster, her brain always started going haywire around him. She also found her palms always start to sweat more around him. It was strange, she went through life assuming she was simply incapable of loving someone. No guy before Lucas really made Max feel this way. Plus, she could admit she was a bit of a closed off asshole at times.
But despite all of her issues, Lucas kept talking to her, kept pursuing her. Even when she’d cause arguments, even when she’d dump him just to get back with him, even with she became unbearable to be around the months after Billy’s death. Despite every attempt to push him away and fight him off, he still kept coming back to her. And she felt scared that she liked that.
The only reason she kept pushing Lucas away during freshman year was because she quite frankly didn’t want to involve him in her storm of shit. She was a mess during that time, she could admit it. Always stuck in between feeling survivor’s guilt, feeling guilt mourning Billy, but feeling wrong not mourning him. But even through that, even through the Vecna stuff, even through her recovery, he was the one by her side, constantly checking in on her. Even after the rest of the party stopped relenting, Lucas was there. If he wasn’t there physically asking her if she was alright, he was stuffing a letter each week in her locker. Always telling her about his week, always ending the letter with ‘let me know if you need anything.’
All of these feelings and realizations seemed to hit her once the two of them started dating again. And she started feeling scared again. It seemed like Lucas was intending to drown the girl with affection. While she understood to a certain point, (she was in a coma for entire year) it still scared her. The butterflies, the sweaty palms, the scattered mind, it seemed like she was falling for him over again. She hadn’t even realized how much in her head she was until Lucas shook her shoulder.
“Max, are you good?” Lucas asked lightly, but with slight concern.
“Yeah, why?” Max asked confused.
“School is over and you’re still sitting here.” Lucas teased lightly, looking around at the now empty classroom.
“Oh…” Max said softly, looking around as well as she packed her things and got up. “You have that DND thing today?”
“No, no Hellfire tonight.” Lucas stated, wrapping his arm around Max as they walked out of Mrs. Click’s class. “You wanna watch a movie or somethin?”
Max was going to respond, but felt all eyes on them as they walked down the halls. Lucas managed to continue walking confidently, as if nothing was out of the ordinary and as if everyone wasn’t looking at his public display of affection.
“You’re not feelin the movies?” Lucas asked, looking down at her.
“Uh, yeah. That’s fine.” Max said mindlessly and nervously, sitting down in Lucas’ car before taking a deep breath.
“You okay?” Lucas asked tenderly and patiently.
“Yeah… but I don’t think I can do the movies tonight.” Max said nervously.
“Don’t let everyone’s stares bother you.”
“How can you just pretend they’re not even there?”
“Because my only focus is you.”
“But aren’t you scared?”
“I don’t really care if I-“
“I’m serious. Aren’t you scared the wrong person’s gonna see us?” Max asked bluntly, the both of them knowing what she was referring to.
It got quiet in Lucas’ car, the sounds of the radio filling in the silence between them.
“Yeah. Sometimes. But I don’t care, because I wanna be with you. And I shouldn’t have to hide the fact you’re my girlfriend.” Lucas said honestly.
“But I don’t want to be the reason you get hurt or anything.” Max said softly.
“Hey, no one’s gonna hurt me over us. I won’t let them.”
“But Lucas, you know how some of these people are here. They still blame Eddie for all the Vecna stuff. I don’t want nothing bad to happen to you because of me.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me, Max. Yeah, people here can be racist assholes, but they don’t go around hurting people over it.” Lucas reassured.
While at first, she only became more worried about him, she did realize it might be her anxiety talking. Everyone in Hawkins has lost a lot already, they’re the last people trying to hurt someone or kill someone over something like this. As she calmed down, Lucas drove Max to her place. Once he parked next to her trailer home, he looked over at her.
“Did you want me to stay or..?” Lucas started.
“You can, my mom’s still working.” Max said softly.
Lucas then turned off the car and followed Max into her home. She opened the door to a bunch of beer cans and three barely lit cigarettes on the ashtray.
“Sorry about the mess.” Max said apologetically as she ashed the cigarettes.
“No problem.” Lucas said kindly and dismissively, helping her clean up.
There it was. Sweaty palms, scattered brain, butterflies. He always knew what to do, what to say, and it was scaring her again. It was almost angering how consistently sweet Lucas was towards her. It almost hurt knowing how much Lucas knew her and cared for her. She sucked at giving that energy back to him, and she’s tried. She always tried doing small things for him every now and then. And sometimes she’d initiate intimate moments and displays of affection. But it just seemed so natural for Lucas. And it was so unnatural for Max. It seemed like she could never show him affection the way he did. It was as if she was incapable of caring for him the way Lucas cared for her, and she felt bad for it sometimes.
Lucas could see there was some sort of inner turmoil within his girlfriend’s mind. He knew she had a habit of being a bit neurotic at times. He couldn’t really blame her for that, anyone would be a bit neurotic after experiencing everything she had in the past two or three years. All he could do was adapt and be there for her. He always did his best to pull her out of her negative thoughts, always reassure her that he’s here and he wouldn’t go anywhere.
He finished cleaning up the beer cans before silently hugging her. It always felt nice hugging her. Even if she didn’t always hug back from shock. It’s nice being able to hold her close after not being able to all last year. Despite everything she’s been through, it was still Max. It was a comfort for him, and it was also a comfort for Max, even if she never said it aloud. She hugged back this time, feeling immediately more relaxed the moment he hugged her. They stayed like that for a while, standing in Max’s living room, silently hugging.
“Can you stay for a little longer?” Max asked softly.
“Yeah, I can stay.” Lucas responded in the same soft tone.
They sat down on the couch and just cuddled each other. Lucas could sense it was one of those days where Max didn’t really have much to say. But he didn’t mind at all. He just liked being close to Max. He got to play with her red locks of hair, smell her familiar scent. She’d do the same, except she was always hesitant to play with Lucas’ hair. She always settled for playing with his jacket or his shirt instead. They stayed that way until Max mentioned her mom would come home soon and he should probably leave before she got there.
“Call me if you need anything, okay?” Lucas spoke softly, hugging her a bit tight.
“Okay.” Max replied softly.
“See you later, Max.” Lucas said softly before kissing her goodbye.
As Max watched her boyfriend drive out of her trailer park, she sighed. It wasn’t a cinematic moment or anything, but she knew deep down that she’d fallen in love with Lucas Sinclair. No matter how much it was scaring her.
lucas gives max his biggest, brownest, shiniest puppy dog eyes when he wants a kiss.
they’ll be hanging out in her room, backs pressed against the headboard of her bed. his arm is slung over her shoulder while she flicks through a magazine, and the radio’s fizzing static in their ears because there’s a summer storm rattling on outside, but it’s okay, because she’s listening to him amble on about—whatever. something science-y, or sporty or lovey-dovey (really, his words become background noise sometimes, but she likes it when he talks because his voice calms her) and it’s nice and comfortable and perfect.
she doesn’t realise he’s gone quiet until she flips the page of her magazine— this one’s about how to dress for your colours, whatever that means— and she turns her head to peer at him, pale eyebrows scrunched. usually, it’s impossible to get her boyfriend to quiet down when she wants him to. it’d be concerning, if she didn’t immediately recognise the pretty face being turned up at her.
“hi,” he says, in that solemn, love-sick tone that she secretly adores.
“what do you want?” max asks curtly, even though she’s been through this a hundred times before. it’s just routine now; instinctual to pretend to be surprised by it.
lucas doesn’t say anything. just flutters his curly lashes at her and leans in slightly and crinkles his nose and looks disarmingly adorable. it makes her feel sick. it makes her feel warm, and fuzzy, and she wants to bash her skull against the wall because when did she get so mushy, anyway?
she rolls her eyes. “oh my god.” lucas furrows his brow and makes himself look demure and lovely. the light from her side table glows in his hair; against his skin, all golden and celestial and sweet. “you’re so stupid. like, really. you look ridiculous,” she smooths her fingers over the glossy paper in her hands, “seriously, sinclair?”
lucas smiles with all of his perfect teeth and it makes her stomach swoop. “maxie,” he says and his voice sounds like honey around her name. she could listen to him all day. “may i please have a kiss?”
melodramatically, she sighs because she’s embarrassed (they’ve been dating for like, two years now and his antics haven’t subsided one bit) and lucas smiles sweeter and she thinks she’s in love with an idiot. “oh my god,” she repeats, though gentleness is creeping up into her tone. “fine, if it’ll get you to stop.”
he cheers and she ignores it and pulls him in sagely by the collar of his denim jacket; presses her mouth to his. he’s warm. tastes a bit like coke and lasagna and the fruit roll-ups they’d eaten for dessert. he doesn’t stop smiling.
Rated: G || Word Count: 2.6k || Warnings: Panic Attack, very sad children
As she stuffs bottles of Pepsi in a cooler, the doors of the gymnasium lie ahead of her. The basketball team runs around in what looks like chaos to her, but to them (to Lucas) is organized, strict drills. Her eyes land on Lucas (by accident, she tells herself), and they rest there (because she has no where else to look, she tells herself).
or: Ms. Kelly thought it would be good for Max to stay busy— by working the concessions stand at Lucas’s basketball game.
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