⟡ _증오 ✦

pt/en • any pronouns

[idleminds]

[danismilek]

[ilovetwiceistg]

eun chan sofreu muito nesse kdrama. Não sei como ela aguentou tudo e continuou amando um cara que deixava mais ela triste do q feliz. te odio hankyul

[oldinterneticons]

And in that moment I swear we were infinite

[dragonfly1302]

In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

[doll-ceci]

[idleminds]

[underdevelopedbutterfly]

I've finished watching, My Liberation Notes today, and I've found the ending peaceful and hopeful. While things may not be glossy after the credits roll out, and attaining happiness and liberation will not happen in a linear process for our characters as there'll be ups and downs along the way, but I do think the characters' will power to move forward, be happy even for five minutes a day and hold on of persons that are dear to them lead them to liberation.

I think liberation is not an end goal, but a process or a journey. When you feel happy or when you're proud of yourself for doing a small thing you think it's a bit impossible, you can say that you've been liberated. When you feel emotions after a long time of not having them, you've been liberated. When you consciously choose to love the person important to you even if his/her surroundings aren't good that good to you, you are liberated and you're choosing this kind of pain and you're willing to struggle with them because you want to be happy with them. When you choose to be kind to yourself even if you're doing bad, that's also liberation. Even when things aren't going the way you wanted it to be, even if change is becoming a bit harder and you're still going back to your old ways most of the time, those moments of struggles or weaknesses don't erase the moments you've been liberated.

These days, I've been thinking of life and how it cannot be perfect. I feel sad, but I feel happy too. I make mistakes on some days, and do good things on some days too, and I realized while watching this show that—it's okay—it should be okay. I can make progress, and I may struggle too for a lot of times, but a progress no matter how small is better than none and being harsher on myself is not always helpful. With that, I guess my concept of liberation is letting go of this perfect idea of life and accepting my flawed self—improving little by little and liking myself a bit more in the process. Filling your day with at least five minutes of trudging day by day isn't so bad for a start.

[xx1luvxx]

ditto reminds me of a mind that is so lonely that in order for them to survive they must imagine a world where something as cold and unforgiving as loneliness simply doesn’t exist. warmth is felt everywhere, colour is all around, and the ones they love are always near. but every time they try and capture a beautiful moment filled with laughter and joy reality comes in the blink of an eye and all that once brought colour is gone just as quickly as it came. but that colour wasn’t real. it was warm and welcoming but it wasn’t actually there. colour is painted and adored by the mind alone. it can be there in your mind but not actually tangible. oh what the mind will do before it excepts how lonely you are. delusional clouds hidden by a colourful sky all so you can finally feel what you so desperately need. how beautifully sad and how tragically common.

[queerseras]

I don't need no garden of Eden.

An angst loonaverse!hyewon AU.

Pairing: Olivia Hye / Son Hyeju & Gowon / Park Chaewon from LOONA.

Word count: 459.

“Let's grow old together, Olivia.”

Leaves scattered all over as the wind gently caressed their skin — Gowon smiled so bright that it left Olivia stunned in her place; helplessly engulfed in that warmth. But then she felt the corners of her lips tickled... Slowly formed a slight upward curve followed by shy nods and sparkling eyes full of excitement.

It was so warm.

And Olivia could never ask for more; that one sentence was enough of a motivation for her to get through her most hellish days, the only cure to her sorrow when it felt like the world was against her.

—

Time shifted.

The bright sunny day was replaced by a neverending darkness. No more sparks in the eyes, just a hollow veil of grief; no more chirping birds and windy weather, just the sound of galloping feet in the yard... And a faint crack in the heart.

Olivia wished her vision was lying to her at that time, and how much she wished she wasn't there... Staring blankly at the sight of three lassies running away from the building she was standing in.

No, Olivia wouldn't be this frustrated if she hadn't recognized that wavy blonde hair right away, illuminated by the faint twilight beneath the clear sky.

She just wished it wasn't true.

But the moment that blondie glanced at her with clear uneasiness in each of her step, yet quickly turned away before even meeting her gaze... Was the moment Olivia's entire universe fell apart and crumbled into pieces.

It was Gowon.

Without a single doubt, was running away from her... And vanished behind the trees.

No words, no farewell, she quietly escaped and left Olivia behind without even bothering to tell; without explanation, without signs nor warning, as if her existence meant nothing more than just a thin air. Meaningless, probably just like all the time they spent with each other all these years.

Was it all just a lie? Was everything we had meant nothing to you?

It convinced Olivia about the fact which she tried so hard to refute, a stinging feeling that she wished wasn't true all along; that she wasn't needed anymore. She wasn't even worth of a single goodbye from Gowon, let alone her love — even though it was the only thing that had been keeping her sane all this time, the only thing that kept her head up despite the distress and suffering chasing after her.

Their promises, plans and visions about the future...

Now it's all have gone into misery.

—

“Just one last word... One last moment to ask you why you left me here behind.

You said you'd grow old with me?

Or was everything just a lie all this time?”