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I’m going insane guys look at my wife

#i’m so tired #what the freak is happening #shes actually not my wife she’s me #fr fr #I’m going insane I don’t want to leave the squid game hyperfixation #sigh #coffee prince #eun chan

Coffee Prince is like such an easy go-to example as to why genderqueer AFAB x cis man relationships are in fact queer, like thats in their nature. The show is a queer show about queer romance, about sexuality and gender and the complex, complex ways these things interact with culture and intense feelings. The sworn brother oath is such a great way to exemplify how we use socially accepted concepts of intimacy between men to justify (both to others but mostly to ourselves) why the feelings we feel for that particular person are so intense. When Eun Chan cried "I am neither man or woman," that is a confession. The ''whether you're a man or an alien'' line I have more complicated feelings with.

(Context: I've grown up in the Middle East in a very conservative circle. I say this now because when I tell you I KNOW misogyny and homophobia, I mean I KNOW misogyny and homophobia, and have in my youth consumed a lot of East Asian media where I have definitely noticed a kind of trend in many different genres. Because of misogyny, there is for a lot of women with a kind of fantasy of being loved despite being female. The man-woman relationship is so loaded with so much angst and patriarchy that there is this kind of underlying feeling that you aren’t liked for you, that you are seen for your gender and what it’s supposed to look like, to the point where it’s hard to want to project yourself into a typical F x M dynamic, because you can really only associate it with the patriarchal ideal you so wish to avoid for yourself.)

But anyways, that line to me is also hinting to this: hey, this isn’t just my kind of strange and confused coming out because I feel strange and confused, but also you, Eun Chan, are something out of binary that my subconscious has kind of picked up on but that I right now don’t really have the words for or even awareness of. Eun Chan sometimes wants to be perceived as female—or rather, as a ''girl'' sparkle sparkle—but only when looking for or wanting male validation. (This might seem contradictory to the italicized section, but it actually isn’t. Wanting to escape the role of the female completely but still craving the attention you have been taught to chase actually go very much hand in hand with each other.) Eun Chan is always performing gender when they need to. When they don’t, it isn’t brought up. It isn’t given a name, it just is.

Yes, I know it’s an older drama from a conservative country, but that doesn’t mean none of this was intended. And despite intent, it doesn’t make it less valid.

The drama is thoughtful and is open to complexities, half-truths, and almosts. Cut to ANYTHING between Han Yoo-joo and Han-sung. When I say I want complex female characters, I’m talking about Han Yoo-joo—what a fucking scene-stealer. Anyways, I’m rewatching the drama since I first saw it at 15 because my life is in turmoil, and yeah, it still hits.