I release you. I love you. Goodbye.

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@iloveustill
I release you. I love you. Goodbye.
One day you’ll have whatever it is you’re now so confusedly seeking. That kind of calm that comes from knowing oneself and others. But you can’t rush the arrival of that state of mind. There are things you only learn when no one teaches them. And that’s how it is with life. There’s even more beauty in discovering it for yourself, in spite of the suffering.
Clarice Lispector, from “Gertrudes asks for advice” in The Complete Stories
Today was a small clean cloth placed over a very old injury
this job market is a fucking nightmare
everything is changing and maybe that’s okay
as you get older you realise that anything that helps you stop feeling stuck is welcome even if it hurts at first
Nice oaks in some afternoon, November sun.
via
I’m gonna need someone really sexy and vibey to adore me soon or I’ll turn to dust
I manifested it and it feels like heaven. Nonchalant men can go to hell forever
top 3 hobbies for young adults:
1. borrowing misery from future
2. carrying grief of the past
3. agonizing over the present
A Place in the Sun (George Stevens, 1951)
The lightest a girl can feel is when she’s done waiting for permission
When I was younger, I was in love with the idea of moving out to a lone island and never speaking to anyone again. I wasn’t good at talking, physically, nor did conversations come easy to me, so I kept quiet and I was totally fine with that. But while the people closest to me rolled their eyes at my wishes (again, lone island), nobody told me how talking to people was fun. Nobody told me how nice of a feeling it was to feel a new friendship blossom, to have inside jokes with people, to hand out compliments and get them back, to ask questions to people who are excited about having the answers, to remember something that someone mentioned last time and make them feel heard, to flatter people, to share slightly embarrassing facts and be able to laugh about them, to have people to say hi and bye to. It took me years and years and years to gather the courage to speak, but it was so worth it. It’s so much fun.
Last Friday I was at my workplace’s internship booth for a city-wide event where tons of creative agencies opened their doors to anyone interested. If you told me four years ago that I’d stand there all night, calming down nervous students and older people hoping to get into tech with my (slightly embarrassing) anecdotes and full-fledged conversations, I wouldn’t have believed you and probably gotten sick at the idea.
Speaking is physically still a challenge to me, as it always will be, but I also know that language is one of the single most important and valuable tools at our disposal. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, but the fact that you have the ability to carve out a little crevice for you and someone else by ‘just’ opening your mouth and offering up a sliver of your thoughts is a major privilege. I’m still learning, but the more I do, the more magical communicating truly starts to feel, and the luckier I feel for having the right and freedom to use my voice – no matter how clumsily.
The lily in the valley will wither. The flowers in the forest will decay. But this friendship will last forever, when all other things fade away.
March 4, 1885.
From a beautiful notebook I bought in the flea
i… want… my BOYTOY! *telekinesis throws everything across the room*