IMAFREAKINGGENIUS

plz inbox me random stuff

[tescosfinest-deactivated2013111]

she wears short skirts i wear bleachers

[abortionado]

MYTH: Americans set off fireworks on the 4th of July, in honor of our Independence Day

FACT: Americans set off fireworks from approximately June 20th—July 20th, for no reason other than this is the time of year that you can literally buy them at any grocery store

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

Don't touch me I'm in mourning over a male fantasy character cutting their long hair

[eremikan-deactivated20230201]

u think i am joking but this is genuinely how i look while writing: “god, you’re so fucking wet” and “such a good girl” for the hundreth time in my miserable existence

[1anonyymous1]

“are u okay?” no i need more money

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

damn ok, i'm sold

[memeuplift]

[studentlifeproblems]

[wisefireobservation]

[funnytwittertweets]

[funnytwittertweets]

[tastefullyoffensive]

This version slaps

[badjokesbyjeff]

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

[studentlifeproblems]

[catyeahhh]

[omghotmemes]

Phd by mistake

[cannibalchicken]