zalton_e

Spence 🏳️‍🌈 He/him Living in Gotham

[imafuckingasshole]

I saw a drawing and I thought it was 2 face but it wasn’t so here is this gem

[imafuckingasshole]

Happy birthday to Jason and Alfred!!

[poetic-crimelord]

I FORGOT IS JASON TODD'S AND ALFRED'S BIRTHDAY!

I'm such a fake fan damn

[imafuckingasshole]

TODAY!? def need these updates, I’m faker I didn’t even know 😞 (shame on me)

BUT NOW I DO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THEM

[frownyalfred]

I just need to know if a) being depowered by Kryptonite essentially makes Clark human temporarily and 2) if that means he has to poop/pee while depowered and if 3) he even knows how to do either of those things

[imafuckingasshole]

I COMMENTED ON THIS BUT IMA REBLOG OT TOO cuz it's funny

1) No he doesn't temporarily become human because he is still an alien but he does become more human because he doesn't have powers

2) Yes because he is weaker or dying and people who die all the stuff they have comes out of their body

3 and 4) He probably knows because his human parents probably taught him but if he forgot... He is either going to have a very awkward conversation with his parents or Bruce

5) So canonically when Clark is faced with kryptonite, he shits himself

[ciboriaadastra]

Well, the postmortem pooping tends to happen because of decomposition, unless the death involves the body being suspended in the air and that's gravity doing its thing as the muscles relax or the death was traumatic and the deceased just shit themselves in fear.

Dying slowly of [Kryptonite] radiation poisoning is not the same as having been dead for several hours.

Though, it doesn't rule out pooping, because radiation targeted at the abdominal and pelvic areas can cause diarrhea (see: radiation enteritis) as well as bloating and rectal bleeding. This means—hypothetically—if you shot him in the ass with a Kryptonite bullet, he might have the bloodiest, most excruciating supershart a person has ever had the misfortune of expelling. And that'd be a messy endeavor to try to perform the surgery to save him.

Taking off the suit after he shat himself would also be interesting. Especially if you think about how skintight some iterations (Henry Cavill) are...the force of the shit might rip the suit at the ass or his entire back of his body from neck to foot is covered in shit because it has to go somewhere.

[imafuckingasshole]

They (someone) would have to pry off the bloody shit covered suit (if it's the skin tight one) that whole thing would definitely be a messy situation, and true a body does have to be dead for several hours BUT counterpoint what if somebody is so scared of dying or like they are on their death bed that they shit themselves- if Superman got shot with a kryptonite bullet would he be scared to where he would shit himself (I'm saying if he just got shot with a kryptonite bullet and not if it was directly in the ass or in the general area of the ass)

Also yk what would be interesting, if his poop depended on the color of kryptonite he was in contact with but since it's normally Brown it would be like a darker shade of the actual color since kryptonite tends to be clear or Misty/foggy and I think Bruce would absolutely have this in his case files about Clark like Clark is talking to him because he just discovers this happened after coming in contact with like I don't know white kryptonite and he asked Bruce (the most reliable source of information besides Google) why his poop was white and Bruce kind of just raises an eyebrow and asks for more information and that's how he discovered it, and Clark originally thought that the green kryptonite (bc green poop is normal depending on what you eat if you had spinach or whatever) was just because of what he ate

[ciboriaadastra]

True...I imagine being invulnerable to most things for the majority of your life has a tendency to make you not consider your own mortality as often (if at all)...and being the Last Son of Krypton and all, he's the only person (so he initially believes) who can know his own people and birth planet. Getting shot with Kryptonite probably forces him to suddenly reckon with the weight of his life and the sudden reminder that he can and might die...and that's a lot for a guy to take. idk if that's shit my britches type of stress but could be for him (there's probably comics that have addressed this sans the pooping that I just never heard about bc I'm a casual)

I had to google white kryptonite and apparently it kills plantlife and pathogenic microbes (idk how a rock knows the difference between pathogenic microbes and the natural gut microbiome but whatever it was 1960). Does that also depower him because it's a kryptonite or does it just do the thing???

Anyways I love that Bruce is just human WebMD for Clark now. I just had the cursed realization, though, that Bruce probably would want to analyze stool samples and just Clark trying to discreetly hand over a jar of his own shit so Bruce can study it (is it third hand embarrassment if you imagine someone else doing something embarrassing?). Probably necessary procedure, because Clark might omit details he's too embarrassed to speak out loud or as you said, he might think it's something normal.

[imafuckingasshole]

I think he might be so scared he would shit himself, have you seen how emotional that man gets? I do feel like he would start overreacting after the bullet went in though, and since something like this has already happened (he got shot with a kryptonite bullet in attempt to kill him) and he would have almost died if it weren't for Bruce (taking the bullet out even though he wanted to push it in because Clark was making jokes and trying to be optimistic and also annoying Bruce) he would have died. I also feel like it would depend on the Superman (like the different earths thing but like with the supermen that are on TV [like movie superman vs series superman] and would be more likely to shit themselves).

Also do you think that because he's alien that if he were to shit then it would have the same effects as the kryptonite did on him, like if white kryptonite kills plants and he were to flush it down and plants grow in the sewer would that kill a bunch of plant life or would his shit just be normal and not have the effects of the kryptonite I feel like it wouldn't be normal because he's alien and if it affects him it most likely will affect his shit. If that happens and he flushes it down and it goes into the sewage and plants go into the sewage (Also if he is superhuman would he take a super shit?) Would his super shit affect the sewage and kill some plants

Also I haven't seen any comics (and I'm a major comic nerd) that are poop related besides those funny fan comics (the ones for moms or old people)

Also I think it just kills plants life but it depends because some supermen it depowers them and a kills plant life so it kind of depends, so it will have the effects of the kryptonite's depowering thing and the other effects of whatever color the kryptonite does and it's mainly the green kryptonite though that depowers him so he might only have green shit but it depends on the kryptonite and it depends on the Superman.

(superman was probably scared of the red shit because he probably looked it up [before knowing the kryptonite affected him] and he got scared and looked it up on Google or he asked Bruce before he knew [depends on if it was the 1960s bc they didn't have google but they did have books and stuff] and it was like:

Bruce: That's a sign of internal bleeding or bleeding

Clark: But it doesn't hurt

Bruce: ...And you dont bleed easy, have you swallowed any bladed kryptonite recently

Clark: What?... No!

Bruce: Yeah I guess you don't have any of that with you

Clark:

Bruce:

Clark: You do?

Bruce: Irrelevant

Clark: IT IS RELEVANT!

Bruce:

[frownyalfred]

I just need to know if a) being depowered by Kryptonite essentially makes Clark human temporarily and 2) if that means he has to poop/pee while depowered and if 3) he even knows how to do either of those things

[imafuckingasshole]

I COMMENTED ON THIS BUT IMA REBLOG OT TOO cuz it's funny

1) No he doesn't temporarily become human because he is still an alien but he does become more human because he doesn't have powers

2) Yes because he is weaker or dying and people who die all the stuff they have comes out of their body

3 and 4) He probably knows because his human parents probably taught him but if he forgot... He is either going to have a very awkward conversation with his parents or Bruce

5) So canonically when Clark is faced with kryptonite, he shits himself

[ciboriaadastra]

Well, the postmortem pooping tends to happen because of decomposition, unless the death involves the body being suspended in the air and that's gravity doing its thing as the muscles relax or the death was traumatic and the deceased just shit themselves in fear.

Dying slowly of [Kryptonite] radiation poisoning is not the same as having been dead for several hours.

Though, it doesn't rule out pooping, because radiation targeted at the abdominal and pelvic areas can cause diarrhea (see: radiation enteritis) as well as bloating and rectal bleeding. This means—hypothetically—if you shot him in the ass with a Kryptonite bullet, he might have the bloodiest, most excruciating supershart a person has ever had the misfortune of expelling. And that'd be a messy endeavor to try to perform the surgery to save him.

Taking off the suit after he shat himself would also be interesting. Especially if you think about how skintight some iterations (Henry Cavill) are...the force of the shit might rip the suit at the ass or his entire back of his body from neck to foot is covered in shit because it has to go somewhere.

[imafuckingasshole]

They (someone) would have to pry off the bloody shit covered suit (if it's the skin tight one) that whole thing would definitely be a messy situation, and true a body does have to be dead for several hours BUT counterpoint what if somebody is so scared of dying or like they are on their death bed that they shit themselves- if Superman got shot with a kryptonite bullet would he be scared to where he would shit himself (I'm saying if he just got shot with a kryptonite bullet and not if it was directly in the ass or in the general area of the ass)

Also yk what would be interesting, if his poop depended on the color of kryptonite he was in contact with but since it's normally Brown it would be like a darker shade of the actual color since kryptonite tends to be clear or Misty/foggy and I think Bruce would absolutely have this in his case files about Clark like Clark is talking to him because he just discovers this happened after coming in contact with like I don't know white kryptonite and he asked Bruce (the most reliable source of information besides Google) why his poop was white and Bruce kind of just raises an eyebrow and asks for more information and that's how he discovered it, and Clark originally thought that the green kryptonite (bc green poop is normal depending on what you eat if you had spinach or whatever) was just because of what he ate

[imafuckingasshole]

Guys... look it's not so bad living in Gotham... - great insurance

- great rent price

- great job

It's fineee

Update: Joker made a hole in my roof with.... I can now see my neighbor... at least he has a cat. My camera is missing and my grandma is in the hospital because last week she got in the radius of scarecrows laughing gas.. at least I haven't been kidnapped yet

[frownyalfred]

I just need to know if a) being depowered by Kryptonite essentially makes Clark human temporarily and 2) if that means he has to poop/pee while depowered and if 3) he even knows how to do either of those things

[imafuckingasshole]

I COMMENTED ON THIS BUT IMA REBLOG OT TOO cuz it's funny

1) No he doesn't temporarily become human because he is still an alien but he does become more human because he doesn't have powers

2) Yes because he is weaker or dying and people who die all the stuff they have comes out of their body

3 and 4) He probably knows because his human parents probably taught him but if he forgot... He is either going to have a very awkward conversation with his parents or Bruce

5) So canonically when Clark is faced with kryptonite, he shits himself

[imafuckingasshole]

Is it just me or is there no flash dialogue skits or fanart cause I'm scrolling through the tags and there is like nothing

I'm being messed with.. The betrayal! The trickery! The agonyyyy

[incorrectbatfam]

Hal: I think we should get a divorce.

Barry: What are you doing?

Hal: Just practicing.

Barry: Why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?

Hal: I don't know. I'm 42, I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Barry: You don't even have a partner.

Hal: Hypothetically divorce me.

Barry: Okay, then I'm hypothetically taking half your assets.

Hal: Well you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup.

Hal, to Bruce: It's called a prenup, right?

Bruce: Yeah, it's a prenup and you DID hypothetically sign one.

Barry: Who the fuck is this guy?

Bruce: I'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case.

Barry: Well then, I'm taking the hypothetical kids.

Barry, to Clark: Right? We can get those, right?

Clark: Yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it.

Hal: Who the fuck is this hypothetical nerd? Fucking idiot glasses-wearing nerd.

Clark: Wow, that is a lot of hypothetical insults. I need to keep these on for continuity because I look like the other lawyer.

Barry: This is MY hypothetical lawyer and we have been hypothetically sleeping with each other.

Hal: How could you hypothetically do this to me?!

Barry: Because you hypothetically are an alcoholic!

[imafuckingasshole]

As soon as Bruce walked into the conversation they really had a fight in such a hypothetical way (I wonder who's getting the hypothetical kids)

[imafuckingasshole]

Look at this silly little guy. His name is cardzy

( kardss-zEE ) pronouns are he/he ha/ha ( actually he/him ) a lot of people called him it and he didn't like that because they wouldn't consider him a person because they were scared of him ( he wouldn't hurt a fly )

[imafuckingasshole]

Also I'm the creater of the sansbox or sandbox ( there is no d yet 😉 /j ) as I like to call it ( if you know what sangbama is you will get it )

[imafuckingasshole]

Here is some lois and clark fanart

Also I added superboy

[imafuckingasshole]

Just some silly things about superman

- he can swim on the sun and it's good for him except in "all star superman" were the sun is killing him

- he can go without sleep for quite awhile (5 days or so) he seems like he likes to dream

- he doesn't really need oxygen because he's solar powered but he can breath air (it's like he is constantly holding his breath)

-he's got some silly powers (you may or may not have heard of) one of which is amnesia kisses, so like when lois found out he was superman, he gave her a big old smooch, girly didn't remember his identity (she's literally so down bad for him and not in a good way if there was one)

-he also has "Super Disco" which I find incredibly funny, tell me this isn't funny

Basically he's superman and I guess anything he does is super like- he can break a building (and some hearts) just by dancing

- he did have super intelligence when he first arrived but life involves so now he's just a mix of average and smart

- his super typing is more of a super speed thing but I guess he is typing fast so it makes it super- so: super typing

[imafuckingasshole]

Superman to batman vs Superman to lex Luthor

[imafuckingasshole]

Me trying to work on anatomy but they all look like rubber bands

Life :'(

[imafuckingasshole]

just watched superman (1, 2, & 3) and Is it just me or did anyone else notice how silly superman waves hello and goodbye

I couldn't find any gifs but this is how silly he looks flying away all happy and sh

[imafuckingasshole]

So this meme but it's these two