Harvey and Gilda

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Harvey and Gilda
kiss so strong shockave grew another hand commi for @dummerferaud thankssss
On a more silly note, imagine the High Guard after the whole killing Sentinel thing happened/banishment and a few weeks later call a meeting with Optimus and they go “hey so I know we’re at odds at the moment but are we ever going to get payed for the last 50 cycles?” cause I mean technically I don’t think they were ever officially fired so much as declared dead to the general public and secretly being hunted down during that time. Do they go up to Optimus and are just like “so I get that we don’t really work here anymore but like can we still get our severance pay and our backlog of paychecks?” Cause I’m pretty sure since they were military the government was paying them before the whole Sentinel betrayal thing and any funds any of them had has probably been seized by the state (aka Sentinel during that time) or frozen sitting somewhere in account of being presumed dead. Does Megatron not want to have this meeting but the entire High Guard are grumpy about it like "no I want to get payed! I want my stuff/money back!" so now he has to sit across from Optimus in the most awkward meeting after their fall out as Starscream shouts across the table negotiating if they still qualify/are entitled for the Cybertronian equivalent of military/veteran pension for their previous cycles of service.
Cybertronian Civil War on hold due to the nightmare of bureaucracy and paperwork because tracking down at minimum 73 different case files of each High Guard member and getting them all in order when probably half of the information was purposely destroyed by Sentinel means it will probably take a while. How many times has Shockwave and the rest of the High Guard have to sign documents to declare "yes I am alive" "no I did not fake my death to commit tax fraud". Or dealing with banks and other organizations going "please provide proof that you are indeed Starscream." Starscream going "I'm literally Starscream and standing in front of you what other proof is more clear! You are literally looking at a photo of me on the datapad!" "Apologies, but unless you have x, y, z document I am afraid we cannot simply take your word that you are Starscream. If you are missing these documents please fill out these thirty forms as alternative verification of identity". Also imagining Thundercracker going "hey do you think my buy five get one free drink stamp card still works. I've been sitting on that free drink for 50 cycles…"
Funniest thing if Shockwave was a senator before joining the High Guard and there was a small period of time where he actually was declared dead before it got cleared up back in the day when the Primes were still alive, but now they can't find the paperwork that cleared up that it was an error and he was still in fact alive so now he's been declared doubly dead.
Shockwave: It's document 37C!
Elita: Repeating it for the fifth time will not change the fact that it does not exist!
Shockwave, done with being declared dead: It exists! It's added every time my taxes get filed each cycle! Did I suddenly imagine the last thousands of cycles of my life!
Elita, losing her own temper: There is no document 37C! Listen here Blinky, I can easily resolve this matter by getting you declared dead for a third time for real!
Optimus stressed and trying not to cry: Maybe we should call for a break in the meeting...
When the break is over no one can find Optimus who has decided to play hooky from his responsibilities because he'd tired and feels like he's going to lose it dealing with all the sudden responsibilities of being leader of an entire planet. I like the idea that it's Megatron who finds him. Megatron going "if I have to suffer through these meetings so do you" (he was secretly also ditching the meeting and accidentally bumped into Optimus because the place is technically their old spot that they sometimes went together, both thought it would be abandoned and no one would find them there). It's awkward, there are hurt feelings on both sides, but maybe they slowly get to talking and at least commiserate how much they hate paperwork. Also funny if they find out they both also have to resolve their own "declared dead by Sentinel" paperwork considering he said they both died after the Iacon 5000 lol.
Also I think it would be funny if these meetings drag on for so long that Optimus is just like instead of commuting back and forth from the surface to Iacon every day just stay here in the city it will save time. Banishment temporarily rescinded. Even more funny if they also have to deal with the Quintessons so half of these meeting turn into war meetings to deal with and fight the Quintessons off their planet where both sides are like "we're not on the same side!", but also eventually have to work together to win. So it's basically an officially we're not on the same side, but all actions say otherwise lol. I like to think Bee likes to hangout with Soundwave during meetings and finds him so cool, and Soundwave actually likes listening to Bee yap finding him endearing.
They eventually realize that it would be easier (and less paperwork) to just reinstate the High Guard and at this point so much time has passed that they've basically been doing their old job anyway as they fight the Quintessons together. Banishment permanently rescinded for all parties involved. I like to think megop over the course of these meetings and fighting together against the Quintessons make up. Things can't go back to the exact way it was between them, but that doesn't mean they can't rebuild something new between them. I like to think both groups have differing ideas of how to lead and how to deal with situations, but I like to think eventually they get to a point where they can compromise and work with differing ideas depending on what's best for the situation at hand similar to the 13 Primes who probably had conflicting and contrasting personalities and approaches but were able to use these differences to work together and make them stronger as a united front.
Cybertronian Civil War avoided through the sheer slog of paperwork and bureaucracy.
Really would like a return to the G1 route of Megatron’s obsession being one-sided
Megatron: That infuriating wannabe-peacenik has foiled my plans once again. But my otherwise admirable adversary’s weakness will betray him in the end. And he knows it! I take solace in how he will never know a moment’s rest until the day of our glorious final battle, where I shall send him to the scrapyard, and his misbegotten philosophy with him!
Meanwhile
Optimus Prime: *Making shrinky dinks.*
“Fascinating…they really do shrink in the oven!”
Could be fun to make Ratchet the one with a past entwined and connected with Megatron, considering Ratchet was Megatron’s nemesis in the Marvel Comics after Optimus died.
Hm, Ratchet being a medic in old gladiator rings could be interesting.
Megatron: I will hunt Optimus Prime down! I’ll rip out his optics and crush what remains with my bare hands!
Optimus, meanwhile: Hey [Name of the human kiddo they are protecting this time around], what’s tik tok?
Rachet: Prime we don’t have time for this, my Megatron is trying to do something stupid sensors are going to blitz if we don’t stop him now.
I think it’s kind of funny that Ratchet was, like, Megatron’s rebound nemesis. Hating and obsessing over some specific person is so essential to Megs life that as soon as he lost Prime, he needed to get a new rival and it was Ratchet, and they had a good time hating each other for a while, but then Prime comes back and what then? Does he stick with ratchet, or go back to primarily hating Prime? Is there an awkward breakup speech?
“Listen, Ratchet, you know I’ll always hate you, but…”
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (2026) dir. Travis Knight
Adam's ALPHA MALE 🐱 sweater appreciation post
what the fuck is 🥺 use your words i don't speak bottom
why did he do that 😭
that was so unprofessional and unnecessary 🙄
here. stupid lowres pokemen
I SHOULDNT BE LAUGHING THIS HARD HELPP
severely underrated gag imo is the one where a character turns very slowly and the sounds of stone grinding against stone is superimposed over it
And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us
burned my eggs and got mad sorry lol
I have a lot of pet peeves but I think the biggest one is when people say things like “oh it’s such a small town, only 35,000 people” like bitch my town has 200 people, you need to pick a new adjective
According to Wikipedia, a small town is 1,000-20,000 people. So although you are correct in stating that 35,000 people is not a small town (it is a large town), you are incorrect in thinking that you live in a town. You live in a village. You are a villager.
I…… don’t know what to do with that information……a villager…
fantasy: the kingdom has been ruled by one family for 10,000 years
science fiction: a new species evolved in 30 years
loves his enormous space faring boyf
im giving them smartphones
Translation: "Chancho! I'm leaving now dude, i'm leaving to go work now dude."
"If someone breaks in dude, you beat the ever-loving shit out of them real hard dude, you beat the shit out of them, Chancho, you hear me?"
"You just beat the shit out of anyone who breaks in!"
translation notes:
The dogs name is 'Chancho', a slang word for a pig. Basically, its like the dog is named 'piglet' 🥺
I fucking can't with his little face
It’s so funny to me the difference between Teela and He-Man’s battle wear. Teela is in normal, practical pants and modest sleeveless shirt. Basically no cleavage at all.
He-Man tho? He-Man’s got the sluttiest little miniskirt known to god