Secret's Out
Summary: You've liked Caleb since he first walked in here, but he got coupled up with Kenzie, and no matter how hard you tried to talk to him, your conversations would just always get interrupted. Then after Casa, movie night comes and you weren't expecting to see yourself on the screen.
Warning(s): Bit of angst throughout the beginning and middle but fluff towards the end.
You had noticed him since the beginning. When he walked in, he caught your eye immediately. Someone you definitely wanted to get to know and explore. And when it was your turn to kiss him, it only solidified your answer.
And while you did your best to get to know him more, you just couldn't seem to get away from everyone else without being interrupted. Like now for example, he had been the one to pull you for a chat first. You were more than happy to say yes. He had taken you to sit at "All the feels" and sat you down right next to him to where you were nearly touching him.
"Thank you for letting me pull you for a chat." he said, his handsome smile on display.
"Thank you for pulling me in the first place." you smiled back, happy to finally speak to him. Your body relaxes into the pillows.
"I would like to get to know you better, so, start from the beginning, what do you do for a living, your favorite hobby, anything and everything." he asked, his arm coming to place itself behind you on the edge of the couch.
"I'm a middle school teacher, I teach English, and I haven't left since so, it is something I am very proud to continue on throughout my career." you started off saying, your body becoming more relaxed as you spoke to him.
"I have two dogs, a pitbull and a shih tzu, very different and a random pair to have, but it honestly works cause my pitbull is a big wuss, while my shih tzu thinks he's the boss." you both laughed.
"As for hobbies, I would say mainly reading in my spare time, spending as much time as I can with friends and family when I have the opportunity to do so, and exploring new places I've never been to before." you finished. You watched as he took in every word you spoke, that same smile still plastered on his face. It gave you hope.
"Tell me about yourself, I want to know whatever I can about you." you told him, leaning in closer so that you could hear everything clearly.
"Well," he started and adjusted himself so he was more comfortable.
"I'm an elevator mechanic, and I don't have any animals-" suddenly he was cut off by another voice.
"I am so sorry to interrupt, but Y/n, is it okay if I steal Caleb for a chat please." Kenzie asked.
You had tried to hide the disappointment in your face. While you wanted to say no on the spot, you didn't want to come off as rude and disrespectful. You looked at Caleb and gave him a small smile, not the bright and full of life one that you gave him earlier. You nodded your head at Kenzie.
"Sure...go ahead." you told her softly and walked away. She smiled at you in appreciation as you walked past her. You could feel Caleb's eyes on you, but you didn't want to look back because then it would only make you feel worse.
At the night of the recoupling, you were taken aback when Ariana announced that America wanted to pair Kenzie up with Caleb. It had hurt because while you could understand that this was America's decision, it started to make you doubt if Caleb would ever be interested in you.
Because after that night, he was one hundred percent dedicated to Kenzie. He had made her breakfast, had conversed with her almost everyday and was almost always by her side. It was painful to watch. You were paired up with Corbin and while he was handsome, you knew this was something that would not work. Especially since he was still caught up on Kenzie.
You watched them from a distance, both sitting on one of the couches together by the pool. Both looking at each other and touching each other. The ache in your heart only got deeper as you continued to watch them. Suddenly, Caleb looked up and his eyes suddenly met yours.
Your eyes widened, not realizing that you were caught staring. You tried to play it off and gave him a small smile in which he returned with the famous one that had you fall for him in the first place. You turned away after a couple seconds, not wanting to look anymore. You got up from your seat and walked away to head towards the dressing room, needing some space away from everyone. Only you didn't realize that someone was watching you the whole time until you were no longer in sight.
Then it was a recoupling night, only the objective was you'd get coupled based on who wrote who a love letter. You wanted to write to Caleb. You honestly did, but you know he had put all his eggs in one basket and was going to write to Kenzie. So, you did what you thought would make sense and you wrote to Corbin.
Only to be shocked and to find out that while Caleb wrote to Kenzie, Kenzie did not write him back. She had written her letter to Corbin. You couldn't believe your eyes. The pain in Caleb's eyes was so prevalent that he couldn't even try to hide it. In the end Caleb and you were coupled up, but it didn't feel like a victory. Not at all.
"I'm very sorry.." you whispered to him. It was after everyone had left and it was just you and him sitting on the couch.
"It's okay..I should've known better considering she would always mention how she would pull him for chats." he said while looking down at his boots.
"You don't deserve that though when you've been completely honest with her about how you felt." you told him, being careful with your words as you didn't want him to sense your distaste. He looked up you, and you could see the pain in his eyes. If only you could be the reason that he smiled.
"I'm sorry about you and Corbin." you shrugged it off, not feeling bothered in the slightest.
"I'm not.." you told him. "I just didn't like him that way, I knew he was still into Kenzie, and plus I like someone else."
"Who?" he asked. Shit. You didn't mean to say that comment. Not at all.
"What?" you asked, playing dumb while suddenly taking an interest in your hands.
"You said you liked someone else...who is it?" he asked, curious to know who. You paused, you could either say it now or not say it all. You took a deep breath.
"Um...it's-"
"I hate that I keep being the one to interrupt, but Y/n is it okay if I pull Caleb for a chat." Kenzie asked. Again.
You let out a frustrated sigh, maybe it just wasn't meant to be spoken into the universe. Maybe this was a sign that the universe was telling you that you and Caleb just aren't meant to be.
"He's all yours." you finally said. You looked at Caleb one last time, giving him a smile that almost reciprocated itself as a goodbye. A goodbye for now? Or a goodbye forever? You didn't know, but you walked and kept walking, the tears streaming down your face.
Then Casa came around. You hated Casa, you wanted nothing to do with Casa, and the way the boys suddenly disappeared was only adding to the cherry on top. But then the heart rate challenge was suddenly live streamed. And you were all pissed.
You watched the way Caleb interacted with those girls. Touching them, kissing them, letting them touch him. It was unbearable to look at. So much that you had to walk away.
"Y/n, do not let this break you." Melanie came up to you, immediately pulling you close to her in comfort.
"I can't take this shit anymore Melanie. I hate this. I can never be the one that is picked. I always get picked then fucked over." you told her while holding in your tears.
"I know babe, but you can't let this get the best of you. If you and Caleb are meant to be then it will happen." she told you. But you shook your head.
"Everytime I have tried to speak to him, I get interrupted. Every time I try to connect with him, challenges always happen. I had yet to even kiss him outside of a challenge. He's not going to think about me while he's in there Melanie and that's just how it is." you told her.
*Movie Night*
It was movie night. You were honestly not looking forward to it.
The night the boys had gotten back from Casa, was a day you never wanted to experience again. You had chosen to couple up with Gal for the sake of playing it safe. Because deep down you knew that Caleb was going to walk in with someone else. And you were right. Cause he walked in with a girl named Jaiden.
And since that night, you have had to endure the sigh of both them being together. Here and there you and Caleb would catch sight of each other and smile. And sometimes he would try and pull you for a chat, but you would find an excuse to walk away and act like someone else was looking for you.
Now here you guys were, watching certain scenes that were filmed throughout your time here at the villa and at casa. Secrets and lies being exposed, heated arguments between certain people, and lots and lots of tension in the air that made it hard to even breathe.
"Boys turn to flip." Corbin got up and grabbed the card that was labeled 'boys' on one side and 'girls' on the other side. You all watched as he threw it up in the air, it flipped in a circle two times then landed on the side of the girls. There were only four options left to pick.
"We pick seven." Kayda said for the girls. The countdown appears and you all waited in anticipation for what was to appear.
Suddenly you see yourself appear. Your face scrunches up in confusion.
'What the hell did I do?'
Then it showed Caleb. It was the first time he had pulled you for a chat.
'Fuck.'
-Scene 1-
"I'm an elevator mechanic, and I don't have many animals-" suddenly he was cut off by another voice.
"I am so sorry to interrupt, but Y/n, is it okay if I steal Caleb for a chat please." Kenzie asked.
The screen stays on you, you're walking away to the dressing room. You couldn't believe the producers had done this. They were officially messy as fuck.
You walk in to see Trinity and Melanie standing there, getting their pajamas on.
"Are you okay babe?" They asked simultaneously.
You shook your head, giving them a defeated look. Your eyes looking down at your feet to hide the disappointment. They immediately come to your side.
"Kenzie pulled Caleb for a chat while I was having a conversation with him.." you told them still looking down.
"I remember that day." you heard one of the boys whisper. Who it was, you weren't;t sure. But you didn't care.
"It was mid-conversation and as much as I wanted to say no, I didn't want to be rude and disrespectful. So I let her pull him. But I feel so stupid now for doing that. Cause he's going to like Kenzie, I already know it." you confirmed sadly, already accepting the fact that Caleb was not interested in you.
"But babe you don't know that." Trinity said. You shook your head, trying to keep your emotions in check.
"It's obvious Trinity. I mean, America literally brought him in for her. What was I thinking that he would like me." you told them sadly. The heartbreak in your face only getting more deeper by the second.
All the girls could do was hug you.
-End of Scene 1-
You stared in shock at the screen. Unable to process that this was actually being shown to everyone here and even for America to see.
Then another scene popped up. It was the night of the recoupling of the letters.
-Scene 2-
It showed you and Caleb being interrupted again by Kenzie. Only after that, the camera followed you as you walk all the way to the dock.
"I'm such a fucking idiot." you said to yourself. Your hands coming up to grab at your hair in frustration. The tears finally falling.
You could feel him staring straight at you. But you didn't dare to look at him.
"Why, why the fuck do I have to like him." you whispered to yourself angrily. Not wanting anyone to hear you. The tears continued to stream past your cheeks.
"Oh my God..." you heard Melanie whisper, her hands automatically grabbing yours to comfort you. The camera is still on you.
"You're gonna be okay...you'll be okay." you whispered to yourself. Your hands grip the edge of the dock tightly.
You reached down into your pocket and pull out a piece of paper.
Only its not a paper, its a letter, and the camera zooms in on the name that is written. The letter that you wrote to Caleb. Only you never gave it to him.
"Holy shit.." you heard the boys gasp. They all stared at the screen in shock, they had no idea you felt this way for Caleb. And all Caleb could do was watch as well.
You look at it hard for a few seconds then suddenly start ripping it up. Your cries turning into sobs as you watch the pieces fall down past the dock. When you have no more paper in your hands, you sink down to the floor, sobbing into your hands.
-End of Scene 2-
"I'm so fucking sorry Y/n." you heard Kenzie whisper to you. She didn't realize how much you had truly liked him. But you didn't respond. Too shocked and frozen to even make a move.
"Did you know about this Caleb?" you heard Zach ask him. You didn't look over at him. You wouldn't. Not when you were put in a very vulnerable position.
"No I didn't..." was all you heard him say.
-Scene 3-
It was you, Melanie and Trinity sitting on the couch outside. You looked like a wreck. Your eyes had no emotion, and the dark circles from a lack of sleep were not hidden.
The grip you had on Melanie's hand tightened significantly. You couldn't believe they were showing this scene.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Melanie muttered under her breath.
"Are you okay, my love?" Melanie asked you softly, careful to use her words wisely. You slowly shook your head, your eyes catching sight of him and Jaiden.
You quickly look away and turn back to face both girls. All you could do was shake your head no. If you spoke you would only start crying again.
"I don't know if I should be here any longer guys..." you told them softly. "I think its time for me to go home."
"No absolutely not." both girls protested as they both moved to sit on either side of you and pull you in for a hug.
"You're not going home Y/n. You can't go home, its not time yet." they told you. But all you could do was deny what they were saying.
"What's the damn point." You finally spat out.
"There's no fucking reason why I should still be here. Gal wants to go explore other girls which is fine by me. But I can't stay here and continue to watch the guy I like to connect with someone that he clearly wants to be with. I can't keep watching that everyday. My heart can't take it anymore." you finally broke and admitted.
"I can't continue to be here when I clearly have no connection, and that the one person I want clearly doesn't want me." you cried out angrily.
"This is fucking hard to watch.." you heard Carl whisper aloud.
"I just want to go home.." You continued to cry into their arms. "I don't want to be here when I'm clearly not wanted." you said brokenly. All the girls could do was comfort you in that moment.
-End of Scene 3-
Your mouth was dry. Your body was stiff. You couldn't believe what the screen had just shown you. This was supposed to be exposing other couples who had drama and secrets to expose. Why the fuck did they show this. Was it to make a fool out of you? To be a laughing stock for America.
"Y/n....are you okay?" Dylan asked from the other side. Everyone could see how uncomfortable and exposed you felt. You looked around the room, your mouth opening but no sound coming out.
Then your eyes suddenly meet Caleb's. He was staring right at you. Trying to decipher what your body language was trying to say. Then your eyes landed on Jaiden who was staring right at you. A blank expression on your face. You felt so exposed. You couldn't take the embarrassment you felt in that moment.
So, you got up and walked away.
Ignoring the calls of your name from several people. You didn't once look back. You refused.
*Later that night*
You had changed into your pajamas immediately but made your way back to the dock. It was the only place that you could somewhat feel alone and get some peace.
The others were still downstairs, still in the same clothes. But you didn't pay them any attention.
Your face was buried into your hands as you continued to cry. You hated that you just got exposed. You hated how those scenes made you look in what you thought, as an embarrassment. You wouldn't be surprised if Caleb wanted absolutely nothing to do with you at this point. Friendship or not.
It only made you cry harder at the thought. Maybe now, this was the time to really go home. To not have to deal with anymore embarrassment. You didn't hear the footsteps that approached you as you were too engulfed in your own thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell me." your head snapped up, your eyes coming into contact with Caleb's. He was still in his same clothes from earlier. Still handsome as ever.
"What are you doing here?" you asked him, ignoring the fact that you looked like a hot mess. "You need to go be with Jaiden right now." you told him, your eyes looking back down at your knees.
"I'm here though." he told you firmly. You watched from your peripheral as he took a seat next to you. Enough to have some space between you.
"Why didn't you tell me Y/n?" he asked again. "I think I have a right to know." he told you, trying to keep his voice soft enough so that you would still talk to him and not shut down.
"Does it really matter at this point?" you asked him bluntly. Eyes still looking down, not wanting to look at him.
"I think it does." he said to you. "It would help me understand."
"Understand what?" you finally looked up at him. Your voice becoming firm even though tears still formed in your eyes.
"You clearly understand what is going on based on those damn clips. What else do you need to understand about it Caleb." You snapped. You didn't want to continue to still make a fool out of yourself like you already felt.
"I need to understand why you didn't say anything. Why didn't you tell me or couldn't." he begged softly, trying to get the answers he needed,
"When could I have told you Caleb?" You asked him, your voice still holding some embarrassment.
"Everytime we talked, we would get interrupted. Everytime I was about to tell you, we would get interrupted. Then Casa came and you walked out with Jaiden. I was not going to humiliate myself anymore than I already have. I'd rather go through the pain of not getting to have you than be rejected by you." you told him. Your voice cracked here and there.
"If you would have told me-" he said.
"If I would have told you what?" you cut him off.
"What would have happened?" you asked him rudely. Standing up from your seat and now standing in front of him.
"What would you have done Caleb? What would that have changed?" you demanded from him. He suddenly stood up and for a second you forgot how tall he was and had to take a step back because he was very close to you now.
Suddenly it became clear that he was standing directly in front of you. Very, very close to you. To the point where his chest was practically touching yours. He stares down at you, eyes stuck on you and not budging to the point where it was making you nervous. He slowly leaned his head down.
"It would have changed everything Y/n." he told you firmly. Your face changes to one of confusion.
"I don't understand." you told him taking a step back, but before you could move, his hand had reached out to grab a hold of your wrist. Gently holding you in place, but still giving you the option to move away if you wanted.
"You telling me how you felt would have changed everything because then I wouldn't have brought Jaiden. I would've come back to you." he stated. His voice not showing hesitation.
"Don't." you told him. Your heart not being able to take what you thought was a facade.
"Don't say what you don't mean Caleb." you told him. The tears falling as you try to ignore the inconsistent beat of your heart.
"I am saying what I mean." he told you. Pulling you closer to him so that your body was actually touching his now. You couldn't breathe. Your senses are becoming overstimulated.
"I wanted to come back to you. I wanted to be with you before we even had to go to Casa. But you never showed any sign Y/n." he started off. You get ready to respond but he beat you to it.
"Please shut up and let me finish." he told you. Your mouth closes on the spot.
"Everytime we got interrupted, I would try and come back to find you. But you were either somewhere else or talking to someone else. There was not a time where I didn't try to pull you. And when I would try and find a way to talk to you, you would walk the other way. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me." he explained. His face showing the same vulnerability you felt this whole time since the start of movie night.
"So I gave you your space, and then when I saw the post card. The picture of you smiling at Gal, the way you would smile at me when we first started talking. I thought there was no way in hell you were going to want to couple up with me again. So, I did what I could and what I thought was the right thing to do so I wouldn't be single. I brought Jaiden. But that doesn't mean that I have once thought of you Y/n. I think of you every damn day." he finished explaining.
You were shocked. The words were processed in your brain but were taking their time to sink into your system. You didn't know what to think or feel in that moment. But you were so overstimulated that it was hard to even form a coherent thought.
"I...I can't think right now." you told him honestly. With his body still touching yours, his hand still on your wrist, and his confession that you weren't expecting had you spiraling in your head.
"I'm sorry." was all he could say in that moment. He didn't mean to overwhelm you.
"Why are you now telling me this?" you asked him, your voice barely even above a whisper. But he heard it.
"Should I have not told you at all and let you leave?" he asked you. He had a point. If there was a time, then at least now was the time.
"I don't know." was all you could say. The shock of his confession sinking in.
"What does this mean?" you asked him hesitantly.
"It means we give our connection a shot. We try until we can't anymore. If it works out then it does, if it doesn't, then we can at least say we tried." he told you gently. His grip on your wrist starts to tighten enough to where you couldn't easily escape him.
"But what if we don't work?" you asked him, your compulsive thoughts getting the best of you.
"We will." he stated confidently.
"How do you know though?" you asked him.
"Because I know." he told you.
"But-"
"Y/n would you just please shut up so I can kiss you already." he demanded softly. Your mouth shut again. He wanted to kiss you. And he didn't hold back.
When he leaned down, his lips immediately connected with yours in a soft kiss. A small gasp escaped, not expecting the intense feeling you got from this. His mouth continued to move with yours softly. His hand letting go of your wrist, and reaching down to wrap around your waist.
His free hand grabs your hand and places it on his chest. Grounding you in this moment. Holy shit. You were actually kissing Caleb. Caleb was kissing you. Most importantly, his feelings for you were reciprocated.
Your hand on his chest moved up to reach the nape of his neck. Your other hand on his forearm, squeezing softly. Your mouths continued to move in sync, never pulling apart and never letting each other go.
When you both need air is when he pulls away. His head is leaning down to touch yours. Both of you are slightly out of breath, but your hands stay exactly where they are on each other.
"Stay with me." he told you, his hands squeezing at your waist.
"Don't leave. Stay with me, Y/n." he begged softly, his eyes showing the love and adoration that you had craved to see from the moment you met him. Your eyes stay looking at his, your grip on him tightening each second.
"Okay" you whispered.
A/N: I think this was a good idea to write about. I thought about it right after tonight's episode and then boom wrote this in about two hours. Feedback, feedback, feedback! That's what keeps me writing for you guys!