my main account is @nameforthemain - where you’ll find fic recs, reblogs, and my random thoughts. comment replies will also come from this account!
anything I write will be posted on here and my ao3 only, so if you see it anywhere else, please let me know!
➼ masterlist
➼ works in progress
➼ rules for requesting
finally, my inbox and DMs are open for anyone that wants to come talk! (about my fics or anything else on your mind) I promise I’m nice and I love hearing what people have to say :))
Summary: Reader dies on a mission, but keeps watch over Natasha as a ghost.
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Word Count: 3190
Warnings: major character death (but like… in a good way? First time I’ve ever happily made it Endgame compliant.)
A/N: I had to read the Aeneid for school and basically Aeneas breaks Dido’s heart and she kills herself because of him. But then he sees her in the Underworld with her former husband and I just thought it must be so awkward for that guy. Imagine if Aeneas didn’t break her heart because she’d definitely choose Aeneas over him… anyway, that’s basically the concept except completely different.
—————————————————
“I’m sorry Tasha” you sobbed, tears mixing with her own as she rested her forehead on yours.
“No. No, you can’t apologise. You’re not- nothing’s gonna happen. The doctors are coming, they’re going to save you.”
“I know they’re on their way. They’re coming as fast as they can, and I’m really holding it off as much as I have power to, but they won’t be here on time Natty.”
“Yes, they will. They will. They-” she choked, “they have to”
You could feel yourself fading, and you mustered a smile for the woman you loved. “No they won’t, but it’s okay. I’ll scout out what’s next, alright? I’ll see you there” you promised, already struggling to retain consciousness. Her sobs and broken ‘I love you’ s kept you company as you passed.
i originally started reading in the background a couple years ago and just revisited it today! super sad to see that its being discontinued 💔💔💔
i love your writing sooo much abd its like the first piece of work that has gotten me to actually finish and smile through a fanfiction in a long time!!
keep up the good workkk <3 im excited to see what other wip you have to offer!!!
lots of lovee <33333
this has been in my inbox for a LONG time but thank you for sending it!! it made me smile reading it, I've just been so caught up in life there's been no energy left to actually reply to it
I'm really glad you liked the series though, I do still wish I'd been able to finish it but maybe one day :')
at the moment I've been quite out of the marvel fanfic loop but I do have a half-written woso one I might end up posting here 😅 and my marvel love is definitely just laying dormant so hopefully in future I can write post more marvel fics here!
me, seeing someone left me a comment: screaming, running around the room in circles, kicking my feet up in the air, jumping up and down, giggling to myself, squealing, wiggling, dancing around...
me, replying to someone's comment: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
I hope you're doing well. I just wanted to send in this little message after seeing your recent post. I haven't read much natasha fics in a while but I just happened to see on my feed that you're discontinuing the 'in the background' series. Despite, being away from the fandom, I can't help but absolutely remember the love I have for this particular series. It has been such a privilege to be able to read it, and I want to thank you for the effort you have put into it.
Thank you once again, it has been a great great journey.
Cheers boss, have the best of days.
This is so lovely to receive, thank you for this <3
It's always so easy to imagine nobody cares about the fics when they're posted into the void of Tumblr, so to hear that anyone had love for the series is so cool :) So thank you again 💙💙
I have officially discontinued the In the Background and Half of my Hometown series, which you probably could have assumed given the shocking lack of updates and my disappearance.
However, if there are any of you left who read those fics:
a) thank you for reading them and I'm sorry I never finished them.
b) I did have a whole plan so if you do what to know the intended summary of the series then feel free to ask :)
In the aftermath of Ultron, you think your whole past is gone: your hometown, your colleagues, your friends. But when you run into a familiar face at the Avengers Compound, you realise a part of your past remains, and your present may be less lonely because of it.
AKA Wanda x GN!R, childhood friends who reunite and start to bond all over again - will post shorts parts about their interactions as they're written, so send asks/leave comments to let me know where you'd like the story to go!
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
part 1 : i miss who i used to be
part 2 : memories feel like weapons
part 3 : and we don't notice any time pass
part 4 : but he doesn't know who I am
part 5 : 2am, who do you love?
part 6 : here we are, no one else
part 7 : memories make us wanna go back
part 8: like flowers and blue skies
part 9: maybe I'm living for the danger of the fall
part 10: do I really suck? I only call when it's late
part 11: saying I love you when I don't even know
part 12: been here all along, so why can't you see?
part 13: even children grow older
part 14: running wild through the concrete jungle
part 15: scared of what's next so we just keep on running
I started writing this series again. apparently I never updated the masterlist to include chapter 6 so I was happily editing and rewriting just for it to already be posted 🙂
In the aftermath of Ultron, you think your whole past is gone: your hometown, your colleagues, your friends. But when you run into a familiar face at the Avengers Compound, you realise a part of your past remains, and your present may be less lonely because of it.
AKA Wanda x GN!R, childhood friends who reunite and start to bond all over again - will post shorts parts about their interactions as they're written, so send asks/leave comments to let me know where you'd like the story to go!
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
part 1 : i miss who i used to be
part 2 : memories feel like weapons
part 3 : and we don't notice any time pass
part 4 : but he doesn't know who I am
part 5 : 2am, who do you love?
part 6 : here we are, no one else
part 7 : memories make us wanna go back
part 8: like flowers and blue skies
part 9: maybe I'm living for the danger of the fall
part 10: do I really suck? I only call when it's late
part 11: saying I love you when I don't even know
part 12: been here all along, so why can't you see?
part 13: even children grow older
part 14: running wild through the concrete jungle
part 15: scared of what's next so we just keep on running
I started writing this series again. apparently I never updated the masterlist to include chapter 6 so I was happily editing and rewriting just for it to already be posted 🙂
In the background in the background in the background
for you, anon, I will try to get back into writing it 💙
again, the more interactions and asks I get, the more motivated I become to write :) I mostly gave up writing but send asks and questions and that may help :)
okay to this anon (and everyone else interested in itb), I've decided that I won't start writing it til I'm back at university (end of September) just because it takes a while to work out where R fits into the movies and I don't have uninterrupted time to do that at home
so someone come drop me a reminder if it's not done by mid October
In the background in the background in the background
for you, anon, I will try to get back into writing it 💙
again, the more interactions and asks I get, the more motivated I become to write :) I mostly gave up writing but send asks and questions and that may help :)
Word Count: 815
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff & Reader
Warnings: Angst, injuries
A/N: idk, this could be utter trash but I just wanted to write and post something again. Even if it's this short fic written in one go at 1am and then never reread, so read at your own risk lol.
»»————- ★ ————-««
For so many years, it had just been you and Natasha. Sure, you both had other groups and other friends and lives of your own, but when it came down to it, it would always be just you and her. It was you and her who met on the first day of SHIELD academy, you and her who partnered for every training exercise and sparred together out of hours, and it was you and her who graduated together, taking your roles as official SHIELD agents, together.
After leaving the dorms of the academy, the two of you moved in together -- a matter of convenience since you shared the same office. You accompanied each other on missions, becoming a formidable pair with your uncanny ability to work in sync as partners, often seeming to predict what the other would do before they'd even decided themselves.
Truly, the only thing you didn't do together, was teaching. Natasha had one cohort, you had the other, and, with every class taught, the rivalry became more infamous throughout SHIELD. Scoreboards were set up, tallies were kept, and even graduated recruits maintained their allegiance to their academy teacher: one side or the other, as you and Natasha used your students to engage in friendly (but ruthless) competition with each other.
The history between the two of you was undeniable, and to just say that you 'had history' would be putting it too lightly. After all, that history had transcended your friendship and become engrained in the SHIELD values for the last few years' cohorts. It seemed infallible, unstoppable, everlasting.
You suppose that's why it hit so hard when it all came crashing down. And what a crash it was.
A partnership so long, severed in the same amount of time it took for your spine to snap.
Now here you were, in an empty apartment across the world from the newest Avenger. Clint will teach the new academy cohort; his group will rival Natasha's. She will continue with her life: a life of missions, secrecy, and public image, all simultaneously. She was picked for the Avengers, to protect the world, and you know that she'll do her job well, like she always does and always has.
You, meanwhile, will never walk again -- a phrase the medics said with such certainty that it left no room for hope -- you will never fight again, run again, spy again. You will never work for SHIELD again.
The organisation provided for you, as 'a thank you for your service', but mostly because you were injured whilst working for them. They paid for your flight to New Zealand, for the house you now live in, and for the transport of your belongings from yours and Natasha's house to here.
You had to get away… as far from SHIELD, as far from the Avengers, as far from her as possible. Reasons for them to be here were few and far between, there would be no random drop-ins and check-ups unless the world was ending in the South Pacific Ocean. Finally, you could relax, drop the facade, and feel the emotions you'd refused to feel since it happened.
You screamed, you cried, and you punched the wall hard enough to give yourself another injury -- one which hurt far less though than any of the others you currently nursed, physically or mentally.
Leaving SHIELD, getting injured... they'd never been in your plan, they weren't your choices, but the move was. Leaving Natasha was your choice. It had been your choice but that doesn't mean you can't miss her, because months later you still do.
You miss the camaraderie, the inside jokes from shared experiences and shared life; the competition that was always more serious between the students than it ever was for you and Natasha, who at the end of the day anyways returned home together. You miss your life before, but you know you can never return.
You don't miss the time after the injury; when you were told that full recovery wouldn't be possible and that your career was over. You don't miss when Natasha, who promised to take care of you, was suddenly forced into endless press to 'maintain a positive image' for the newly formed Avengers, lest she lose her job too. And, most of all, you don't miss the dreadful pit in your stomach from when you had asked Nat, your friend, the person you had spent years of your life doing everything with, about her day. She hadn't said anything, but the tears in her eyes had said enough. Because you weren't partner SHIELD agents anymore. She would still do it all, but you were now nothing more than a civilian. She didn't say anything because she couldn't.
You used to do everything with her, now even the knowledge is classified. Knowing her is above your clearance, so you had to go away.
»»————- ★ ————-««
General Taglist: @canvascoloredin @fxckmiup @wizardofstories
So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????
I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.
Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?
Saw a sharp increase in my follower count after posting this. The legitimacy of it is driving me nuts so I also feel the need to say that you can follow anyone on here regardless of whether you’ve interacted with them or not. People like the above mentioned blog are exceptions. Perhaps they themselves think they aren’t and therefore will act like they aren’t, but they are, trust me.
Just follow anyone you wanna follow. The worst thing that can happen is maybe getting soft-blocked by the other person, but if they do soft-block you, then they were never that worth following in the first place.
AO3 is not goodreads. It is not the NYT bestseller list.
You paid no money to read these stories. They are, in fact, a labor of love, done on the off time in the off hours of people who are writing for the joy of writing and the joy of the story.
Your ratings are not appreciated. Not by other readers, who don't know you from adam. Not by fandom-savvy passerby.
And not, in fact, by the author. Who again: Wrote this for fun. In their spare time - around work, around family and friend commitments. Around the rest of their lives. Fandom clout almost never "pays off" in any monetary gains, in any form of physical or financial security.
So please stop "rating" us on something we do for joy.
Today, a fellow fanauthor shared this with me. It was not on any story of my own, but they understandably needed a moment to go "wtf" and process it all. With their permission, I now share this with you.
You won't find this comment on AO3 anymore, by the by.
I have... a lot of issues with this. First of all being something that would be a C-grade in any US school system is not a "Good Rating" for most folks, but many of my issues would be the same even in this commenter had rated this a 10/10.
It boils down to this:
Why are you grading us on something we all are here to do solely for fun and personal enjoyment? Why does it have to be good?
Why can't it just be a labor of love and of joy to be good enough for you, dear commenter?
Do I, as a fanauthor, want to write well? Sure! I do want to write good stories. But I didn't ask random readers to grade me on them. Not in bookmarks that I can easily check, and certainly not in my comments section.
And I never will want them to.
Every author I've talked to agrees. Is there someone out there who might want this? Sure. Most likely, even! The human experience and desires are broad and varied. But in my experience, if they do exist in Fandom, they're the vast minority.
So please:
