matsubros forced to do a dare by their brothers (bcuz they lost a bet) where they try to get a super cute girl's number and they surprisingly succeed
mod foxy here! I would just like to say that this got out of control very quickly. I thought, I’ll just pick one and do my first response really quickly! and then I wrote a tiny novel for churro and I had to make everything equal and now I’ve spent weeks writing this monstrosity. it’s absolutely ridiculous. anyway, I hope you like it -crawls away-
under the cut because so many words. maybe I should have posted it to another site… seriously guys it’s so long I’m sorry ;^;’
Osomatsu: “That girl?” Osomatsu asked, pointing at you from afar. His brothers nodded. He nodded back, looking at you. “Piece of cake!”
Osomatsu grinned widely as he sauntered towards you. You were sitting on a bench in the park, alternating between checking your phone and watching the clouds roll by. He took his time approaching you, partly so he could psych himself up and party to ogle you as much as he could before he reached you.
When he did reach you, Osomatsu plopped right down on the bench beside you. One of his arms stretched out on the top of the bench behind you. You started, looking at your sudden companion in surprise. He was talking before you could even question what was going on.
“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.”
“E-excuse me?!” You nearly shouted, shifting away from automatically. He leered at you, and you stared in horror back. However, after a second you seemed to realize something. “Wait, I’m sitting down. You can’t even see my ass.”
You laughed when his grin fell. He blushed as he caught on to his mistake, but recovered quickly. A smile returned to his face and he scooted closer.
“I guess it was just a theory. Wanna let me feel and we can see if my hypothesis is correct?” He wiggled the fingers on his free hand. You scoffed, pushing him away a little.
“Whoa there cowboy,” you said, your tone playful despite how honestly creepy he was being. “I don’t even know you.”
“Well my name’s Matsuno Osomatsu, but you can call me the man of your dreams.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that. This whole situation was so ridiculous and his lines were so bad. He regarded you with a puzzled expression, as if he couldn’t understand your reaction. Then he shrugged and started laughing along with you.
His laughter, it turned out, was totally infectious and the two of you laughed until you cried.
“Okay, so for real,” you finally managed to say, wiping tears away from your eyes. “Can I help you? Or did you really just come over here to spout bad pick up lines at me?”
Osomatsu’s grin widened as he rubbed under his nose with his index finger. “Those are classic, what are you talking about? But yeah, actually. Now that you mention it, I’ve got a big problem.” You tilted your head slightly, encouraging him to continue.“Well you see, I seem to have lost my phone number. Maybe you could give me yours?”
You doubled over with laughter. This was it, this was how you died. Unable to stop yourself from laughing at a complete stranger’s terrible pick up lines. Your gut hurt from laughing, and you weren’t even sure why you found it so funny. You just couldn’t stop.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you gasped between laughs. “They’re just so bad. Who even… who uses those anymore?” You took a few deep breaths. The need to laugh subsided a bit. “You know what? Yeah. You can have it. Shit dude, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. You deserve it.”
“Wait what, really?” Osomatsu looked utterly surprised that you had agreed. You grinned. He grinned back.
You fished a marker out of your bag and motioned for him to give you his hand. He held it out eagerly, grin practically overtaking his face as you scribbled your number down.
You had barely lifted the marker from his skin when suddenly five Osomatsu clones appeared from nowhere and picked him up. There was a lot of confused yelling as they ran away with him. Osomatsu called back to you over the noise as they carried him away.
“What’s your name?” You yelled your name back to him. He made a phone gesture with one hand. “I’ll call you!” You laughed and waved to him. Oddly, you were already sort of looking forward to his call.
Karamatsu: In all honesty, the whole situation was because of a simple slip up.
They’d all been on their way to Chibita’s stand for oden, polluting the area with their noise as they did whenever all of them went out together.
Karamatsu was being particularly painful, almost as if he was trying to make up for the fact that he was only wearing his regular hoodie. It was odd for him to leave the house without his “perfect fashion” on, but the decision to leave had been somewhat spontaneous and the others had threatened to leave him behind if he took the time to change.
Normally, his brothers were more than able to completely disregard Karamatsu’s painful rambling. But Todomatsu had had a particularly rough past few days and really one could only listen to a guy proclaim his own coolness so many times before it got on their nerves.
“Alright well if you’re such a cool guy, why don’t you go get that girl’s number?”
Todomatsu realized his mistake the moment the words were out of his mouth. It would have been better to ignore Karamatsu. Just let him drone on until he wore himself out. Now some poor girl was going to be subjected to the painfulness that was Karamatsu, all because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
Karamatsu’s eyes lit up, and he turned his rather intense gaze towards the girl Todomatsu had indicated.
You were resting peacefully in the shade of a large tree, enjoying your day off out in the fresh air. A gentle breeze ruffled your hair. You were the picture of peaceful, reading a book while sunlight shone through the leaves to dapple you skin.
Karamatsu strode away from his brothers confidently but was barely steps away when he began to waver. He was about halfway between his brothers and you when he stopped completely, his knees knocking together as they shook. A raucous voice rose up behind him.
“Ha, I told you he couldn’t do it! Let’s just keep going, I’m hungry.”
Karamatsu clenched his fists as he heard the sounds of his brothers beginning to leave. He straightened his back, holding his head high as he began to walk towards you again.
You looked up from your book when you felt a presence in front of you. Standing there was a strange man in a blue hoodie and dark sunglasses. The moment you looked up at him, he dropped to one knee in front of you.
“Please forgive me for interrupting your rest my angel, but I simply could not go on without presenting you with a token of my affection!” The man pulled a rose from god knows where and held it out to you. You looked between him and the flower, confusion apparent on your face. You book was still in your hands, resting on your lap, forgotten.
“Heh…” He let out a low laugh. The man posed dramatically, the hand holding the rose pressed to his forehead. His other hand clutched at his heart. “As I journeyed past, heart heavy with the weight of the world, I spied an angel from afar. Her radiance was so great that surely I would have been blinded if not for my terribly fashionable glasses. ‘Ah,’ I thought, ‘it must be fate that brought me here today so that I might gaze upon true beauty and be uplifted.’ But you are even more wondrous up close, and I find myself at a loss for words.”
He didn’t seem lost for words.
“Please take this rose, though it pales in comparison to your truly ethereal beauty!”He held out the flower again. You were sort of shell-shocked after that ridiculous monologue, but as you stared at the offending rose, you noticed it shaking ever so slightly. Then you realized it was actually his hand that was shaking. Your eyes flicked up to his face. He was smirking in a way he surely though was cool, but you could see the slightest blush peeking around the edges of his sunglasses.
Suddenly, his overly poetic words seemed almost kind of endearing.
Hesitantly, you reached out to take the rose from him. He stiffened when your fingers brushed for a moment, and pulled his hand away like he’d been burned. Normally, you’d probably be offended, but you got the feeling that this guy was actually pretty shy despite his flashy words and posing.
“So um…” You fiddled with the flower, looking at him warily. “Who are you, exactly?”
He deflated for a mere second before throwing himself into a new pose. “I’m the man of your dreams of course, thrown in front of your path by fate itself! You may call me… Matsuno Karamatsu.” He threw his head back, hair flipping with the motion. It was hilarious.
“Karamatsu, huh? That’s a nice name.” You leaned your head on one hand and smiled brightly at him. He sputtered, visibly flustered. It took much longer for him to regain his composure this time. He was actually pretty cute like this.
“F-forgive me my angel!” he squeaked, clearly trying to keep his blush down. “I was overwhelmed by the beauty of your smile!” Karamatsu paused as if carefully considering what to say next. “An angel as radiant as you must have an equally lovely name. What name could possibly match your brilliance?”
You giggled, telling him your name. He lit up, a giddy smile on his face. You guessed that underneath all that bravado, he was really quite earnest. His expression shifted back to the cool smirk.
“Heh… truly a name worthy of a heavenly being!” He stopped, seemed to grow more timid. You looked at him curiously. “If I may be so bold… my angel I would be overjoyed if you would allow me the chance to gaze once again upon your perfect visage. Perhaps at another time in the future. The near future?”
Was he asking you out? You watched Karamatsu fidget as he waited for you to respond. He was cute enough, especially when he was knocked out of his composed state. His words were ridiculously flowery, to the point where it was almost painful to listen to him. But somehow, you also found them kind of charming. What could it hurt?
“Okay… I suppose we could get lunch or coffee sometime.” Karamatsu stared at you with wide eyes, mouth hanging slightly open. You laughed, pulling a pen from your bag beside you. “I guess I should give you my number. Here, give me your hand.” He shifted his gaze from your face to your outstretched hand. For a moment, he didn’t move. The he slapped his hand palm up in yours, grinning wildly.
“I knew my angel could feel the pull of destiny as well. It is only natural that you would desire to see me again.” You rolled your eyes as you wrote your number on his hand. It proved somewhat difficult because he wouldn’t stop shaking.
Once you’d finished Karamatsu took his hand back and stared at it, beaming. He looked back to you, flashing you a smile before posing dramatically. You braced yourself for another tirade.
“Forgive me, my Karamatsu angel.” Did he really just call you that? “It is cruel fate that parts us, but I must away.” He bowed low, and you laughed lightly.
“Okay Karamatsu. I’ll see you later, yeah?” Karamatsu waved as he ran off. You shook your head when he turned and jumped, whooping loudly. What an adorable nerd.
Choromatsu: "There’s no way!“ Choromatsu shook his head vigorously, arms flailing about a bit for good measure. “It’s just not possible!” His brothers watched him as he panicked, regarded him with a sort of fond irritation.
“Oh come on Chorofapski, a bet’s a bet! You lost, so you really don’t have a choice in the matter.” Osomatsu sighed, and Choromatsu’s panicked expression changed to a glare. He stopped swinging his arms in favour of crossing them over his chest.
“I told you not to call me that! And like I said, there’s no way! A cute girl like that is way out of my league! There’s absolutely no way I can go over there and ask for her number!“
“That’s sort of the point here. It’s not like we actually expect you to get her number.” Osomatsu grinned as he said this, grabbing at Choromatsu and forcibly pushing him towards the girl in question.
“Your self-awareness is rising again, Choromatsu nii-san!” Todomatsu chimed in, phone at the ready to record the whole thing. “Just go over there and get it over with!”
With that Osomatsu gave him one final push and Choromatsu stumbled forward onto the path. He lurched right in front of you as you were walking by, making you pause. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, his expression one of shock and mortification. He quickly moved to right himself, straightening his shirt and clearing his throat.
“A-are you… okay?” You asked hesitantly. He stood ramrod straight at the sound of your voice. A deep blush spread over his face and he gaped at you not unlike a fish before finding his words.
“Y-yes, I’m fine!” The volume of his voice made you flinch. “Ah, s-sorry! Uh… I’m Matsuno Choromatsu!”
“Um… okay?” You smiled somewhat awkwardly at the oddly flustered man who had suddenly appeared in front of you only moments ago. When Choromatsu spoke next, it was so rushed that you had trouble keeping up.
“OhgodI’msosorry, IhaveabsolutelynoideawhatI’mdoinghere. You’resocutewhatamIevensupposedtosay? MystupidbrothersjustlovetowatchmesufferI’mprobablymakingahugefoolofmyself. Imeanyou’reobviouslywayoutofmyleague-“
You held up both hands in front of him, trying to get him to stop. “M-Matsuno-san, please slow down! I can’t understand what you’re saying!” Choromatsu’s mouth snapped closed. Somehow, his blush had gotten even darker. Was all of his blood in his face? You were sort of worried that he might faint on you suddenly.
“Okay, now try again, but slowly this time.”
He took a deep breath and let it out. This time he spoke at a reasonable pace.
“I-I’m sorry. You’re very c-cute and I just get so nervous. Uh… M-my stupid brothers dared me to come over here and ask for your number. I’m very sorry to have bothered you.” He began to turn away.
“Ah wait, Mastuno-san!” Choromatsu paused, looking back at you in confusion. “Aren’t you going to ask me for my number? You come over here to get it, right? Are you really going to leave before I can even give it to you?”
Choromatsu gaped at you. “W-wh-what?”
You giggled. “You seem like a pretty interesting person, Matsuno-san. I wouldn’t mind getting to know you. Plus, I think you’re kinda cute.” Another giggle escaped you as you threw in a wink. Choromatsu really did look like he might faint now.
You wrote your name and phone number on a gum wrapper you found in your bag and gave it to him. The smile that appeared on his face as he accepted it was nothing short of adorable.
“Call me sometime, yeah?”
As you left, Osomatsu popped out of the bushes where he and the other brothers had been hiding. He stared after you in disbelief.
“Fappymatsu actually got her number? How?!”
Choromatsu was too happy to even yell at him about the nickname.
Ichimatsu: Ichimatsu took one look at you and knew there was no way he was going to be able to do this. But the expressions his brothers wore also told him there was no way they’d let him back out. He looked between them and you nervously, desperately trying to think of a way out of the situation he was in.
“Don’t worry brother!” Karamatsu suddenly slung his arm around Ichimatsu’s shoulders. “I believe in you.” He gestured towards you, pointing dramatically.
It was in this moment that esp kitty, who had been resting comfortably in Ichimatsu’s arms until then, decided to hop down and scurry away in your direction.
“Ah, wait!” Ichimatsu chased after the cat, but by the time he caught up, it was already rubbing up against your leg. You crouched down to scratch behind its ears, cooing softly.
“Well hello there kitty! Aren’t you a cutie?” You looked up as Ichimatsu approached, smiling kindly at him. “Ah sorry, is this your cat?”
He froze, apparently surprised by you addressing him. His eyes flitted about, trying to look anywhere but directly at you. Eventually he settled on staring at the ground to your right, but he nodded ever so slightly in response to your question.
“He’s very cute! What’s his name?” Ichimatsu fidgeted a bit at your continued questioning.
You giggled. “That’s a weird name. You have a weird name, esp kitty! But that’s okay because you’re still super cute!” You scratched under esp kitty’s chin as you spoke to the cat, making him meow happily.
Ichimatsu had no idea what to say at this point, and looked back at his brothers helplessly. Karamatsu flashed him a thumbs up from their hiding spot and Osomatsu appeared to be motioning at him to keep going. Could they even hear from way over there? He couldn’t be sure. God, this was so embarrassing. At least you seemed to be enjoying petting esp kitty. Ah, was the silence getting awkward? He’d better say something quickly.
“Do you like cats?” Idiot. Of course you did, look at how happy you were just getting to pet one. What a stupid question. You looked back up at him and nodded enthusiastically.
“Mhm! They’re so cute and soft and when they purr it’s just the best!” You were an angel. He was unworthy. And yet…
“I-if you… if you like… I know where lots of cats like to hang out. I… I could show you sometime?” His voice got quieter the longer he spoke, and he could feel his face heating up uncomfortably. You started at Ichimatsu for a solid minute, most likely weighing the pros and cons of agreeing to go somewhere with a total stranger who was promising you cats.
The cats must have won out in the end because you nodded somewhat shyly as you stood up. Esp kitty moved back to Ichimatsu, who picked him up quickly.
“Oh, I guess I should give you my number so you can get in contact with me.” You dug around in your bag for a pen and scrap of paper to write your number on. Ichimatsu watched you in a state of mild shock, and silently accepted the paper from you when you handed it to him.
“It was nice to meet you, but I should get going. Call me whenever you’re ready to show me all those cats you promised me!” You started to walk away, waving as you went. “Bye bye esp kitty!” Ichimatsu watched you go with a dumbfounded expression on his face. The paper with your number on it was gripped tightly in his hand.
Ah, he’d forgotten to ask you for your name. Shit.
Jyuushimatsu: None of his brothers really knew what to expect when they dared Jyushimatsu to get your number. They’d probably done it out of pure curiosity.
For his part, Jyushimatsu seemed excited. Though that was hardly out of the ordinary. His eyes followed to where his brothers were pointing, and lit up when he spotted you.
“That girl? Bwooooaaaah , she’s so cute! Are you sure it’s okay if I ask her? Jyushimatsu bounced from foot to foot, barely containing his excitement. His eyes were glued to you.
“Yeah, of course it’s okay!” Osomatsu responded, nodding even though Jyushimatsu wasn’t looking his way. “Don’t you want to get the number of a girl as cute as that?” Jyushimatsu’s head nodded furiously. “Well then go ask-“
He was gone before Osomatsu could even finish his sentence.
You were on your lunch break, enjoying the sunshine as you ate your food. It was one of the first nice days out that there had been in a while, and the good weather made everything around you seem all the better.
You were in the middle of chewing when a blur of yellow came flying at your picnic table and proceeded to tumble over it. Your automatic reaction was to jerk away and gasp in shock, but the sharp intake of breath sucked the food you’d been eating straight down your throat. Shit, now you were choking. So much for your lovely day.
A man rose from the other side of the table (now that he wasn’t moving at what must have been breakneck speed, you could see he was in fact a person). He began talking to you, but the lack of oxygen getting to your body made it hard to hear. You were also a bit preoccupied with trying dislodge the food from your trachea.
Eventually he seemed to notice that you weren’t responding. He put together your shaking form and the pained noises you were making, and immediately began to panic.
His arms flailed about in his overly long sleeves, and he looked about wildly. Thankfully, he regained his composure shortly and moved to stand behind you. You felt strong arms wrap around your middle and pull you off the bench. The suddenly he was applying pressure to your stomach and the food escaped your throat with an undignified grunt.
“Woah! I saved you! Muscle muscle! Hustle hustle!” You leaned back over the table, taking deep breaths as you recovered from the near death experience. “Ah, are you okay?” His hand started rubbing firm but soothing circles on your back.
After you had caught your breath, you looked up to get a good look at the stranger. He had what could probably be counted as a worried expression on his face, but the moment he made eye contact with you it changed to one of pure delight. His smile was so wide it should have been impossible. Honestly it was a bit unnerving.
“Uh, hi?” You said, still somewhat shaky. “Who are you?
Somehow his smile got even wider.
“Jyushimatsu is Jyushimatsu! What’s your name?” You told him your name in return. “Bwoah that’s such a cute name! You’re so cute!” You flushed in the face of Jyushimatsu’s enthusiastic compliments.
“Oh! Um, thank… you?” You smiled, scratching at your cheek in embarrassment. “But you really should be more careful. You could hurt yourself or someone else, running around like that! What were you in a such a rush for anyway?”
Jyushimatsu’s smile had faded a little during your small lecture, but he perked right back up at your question.“Ah that’s right! You should give me your number!” There was silence for a moment as you stared at him, processing what he had just said. He stared back with that impossibly large smile. You think maybe the lack of oxygen from earlier was starting to affect you, because you beginning to think his smile was sort of cute.
“Wh-what?! I-is that what you came over for?” You flushed, voice jumping in pitch as you became more flustered. “And why should I give you my number anyway?” You huffed and looked away, hating how warm your face felt.
“Because I think you’re really cute and I’d take you to lots of fun places and and… and I saved your life!”
You turned back to inform him that he had been the one to put your life in danger in the first place, but the moment you laid eyes on him you were stopped short.
Jyushimatsu was pouting at you, and damn if it wasn’t practically the most adorable thing you had ever seen. “Please?” he whined, his lip quivering a bit.
You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to make words come out. However, it seemed your brain had stalled. Eventually you just nodded shakily. Jyushimatsu whooped loudly, jumping around like a kid who had been told he could have ice cream for breakfast. You laughed, a little overwhelmed by the whole situation.
Jyushimatsu accepted the paper you had written your number on with the biggest smile yet. You grinned back.
“Wahoo, I got her number! Muscle muscle! Hustle hustle! When can I call you? Can I call you tomorrow? I’ll call you tomorrow! Oh! I have to go tell them!” You dazedly tried to keep up with him, watching his erratic movements with no small amount of amusement. He suddenly turned to you and bowed.
“Nice to meet you! I’ll call you tomorrow! We’ll go on lots of fun dates! See you soon!” And then he was gone, racing back to wherever he had come from. You watched him go, feeling that your life had just gotten a lot more interesting.
Todomatsu: “I just have to go get that girl’s number? Is that all?” Todomatsu asked, looking honestly confused. “Jeez nii-san, I thought you were gonna make me do something hard!“
With a cute laugh, Todomatsu hopped out of his seat and stepped lightly in your direction. His brothers exchanged looks. Choromatsu was the first to speak.
“M-maybe we should have dared him to do something else. Somehow this doesn’t seem like a punishment at all…” The others nodded gravely before finding a hiding place to watch from.
Meanwhile Todomatsu had made his way over to your table. You looked up at the sound of someone clearing their throat to find him smiling sweetly at you.
“Is it okay if I sit with you?” He inclined his head towards the empty seat across from you. You contemplated whether or not you were interested in company, but ultimately shrugged at him. He slid into the seat gracefully, setting his drink on the table beside him.
“Sorry to bug you! My friends dared me to talk to the cutest girl I could find, so obviously it had to be you.“ Todomatsu smiled at you in his cutesy way, throwing in a wink for good measure. You felt your cheeks heat up with a blush. “I’m Todomatsu, by the way.”
You gave your name, returning his cute smile with one of your own.
“So what’s such a cute girl doing all by herself on such nice day? Are you waiting for friends?”
“Oh, ah, no…” You took a sip of your drink, trying to form a response that wasn’t weird or made you look like some kind of loser. “I come to this place sometimes when I need to clear my head. The atmosphere is really nice and it’s not too busy so nobody bothers me… Oh! No that you’re bothering me! I’m actually really glad for your company right now!”
You stopped talking, feeling flustered and a little silly. During your panic you had started waving your hands frantically in front of you. You settled them decidedly on the table in front of you. Todomatsu giggled, that cute smile never wavering on his face. He reached out and put a hand over yours.
“It’s okay, relax! I like to spend time by myself too sometimes! But I’m glad I’m not bothering you.” He gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before retracting his own.
The two of you shared a comfortable silence for a moment. You could feel the flush still burning on your cheeks and took a sip of your drink to help calm down a bit.
“So… you should tell me about yourself! I’m sure someone as cute as you is also a really interesting person.” Todomatsu leaned forward on the table, looking at you with focused eyes and a small cute smile.
“W-well, I don’t know about that…” You laughed somewhat nervously, rubbing at your neck. Todomatsu’s look didn’t waver in the slightest. “But…”
You began to tell him about yourself. Todomatsu was an excellent audience, always reacting the right way at just the right times. When you started to struggle to come up with things to tell him, he took over naturally. He told you al sorts of things about himself. Apparently he went to a university nearby and worked part time to help pay for it.
After some time had passed, Todomatsu stood up suddenly. You watched with mild surprise as he looked at his phone in alarm.
“Oh my gosh, I had no idea it was this time already! I’m so sorry, I’ve got to go.” You nodded slightly, figuring he had to go to work or something. Todomatsu hurriedly gathered up his bag before turning back to you. “But before I go, you have to take a selfie with me! To commemorate our meeting!”
You squeaked a little when he leaned in beside you, phone held in front of you and already in camera mode. You quickly adjusted your hair and smiled for the picture. Once he had taken a few, Todomatsu pulled away. He handed his phone to you, a somewhat nervous smile on his face. Was he blushing?
“I can send them to you if you like. Just put your contact info in. And… maybe we can get coffee or something sometime? If you want?” You blinked slowly before tentatively taking the phone from him. You typed in your information, putting a cute emoji next to your name. When you handed the phone back to him, Todomatsu smiled wide.
“I’ll send them to you when you have a second. See you around sometime, and feel free to text me whenever you like!” He winked and then he was practically skipping away. You waited until he had left before packing up your and heading out yourself. The little smile you got as you left stayed with you for the rest of the day.