[ hiatus ]

they say the spirit's willing but the flesh is always weak I found everything I needed right beneath my skin

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

ON INDEFINITE HIATUS.

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Bedside notes; CLOSED

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Spock wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes, pressing his face to his neck as he shook all over. He pushed his hips up against Leonard’s and he took a small breath in, his fingers trailing up his sides. He sighed and gazed at him, a very faint smile on his face as he looked at the other man in front of him. He leaned up to brush his lips over Leonard’s carefully, a hand sliding into his hair.

"I am always scared of love." He said quietly. "I will always be afraid." He looked up at him and stroked his fingers over the back of his hands. "But with you I will be… Less afraid." He murmured faintly, brushing his fingers over his cheek and cupping his chin in one hand, keeping his steady brown eyes on his face.

"I love you." He whispered, staring up at him as the fear slowly began to dissipate from his body, making him more relaxed.

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

Leonard kissed him softly, nuzzling against the cool Vulcan skin. He could feel as the tension drained from his lover's body, and caught his hand in a gentle Vulcan kiss like Spock had taught him. The strong sense of love that welled within him was too strong to hide anymore, and he held Spock as tightly as he dared.

"I love you, darlin'," he said with a small smile, "It's okay -- we can take it slow, m'not goin' anywhere."

He knew that Vulcans felt emotions more deeply than many other races, and he was aware that to feel such a strong emotion like love would be overwhelming and terrifying for him. But Leonard would be patient -- Spock was worth waiting for, and he would love him for as long as Spock wanted him there. Perhaps even a little longer. 

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Nerd!Spock & Punk!Bones; CLOSED

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

"He never really did." He said quietly. "It was always my mother that… cared about me and how I did." He sighed and clutched his bag tightly to his chest, looking down at it. "He is not a bad father." He said very softly, leaning his head against the window. "That much you need to believe." He was so tired, and his jaw was throbbing now - he wasn’t sure that he’d even been hit there but it definitely hurt. He tucked his arms around himself, the jacket he was wearing too large for him really, but it made him feel a little warmer and safer.

He wanted to say more, but he shut his mouth knowing that he’d already said too much. He rested his head against the window and closed his eyes, trying to feel like he was a least a little better than he was.

"Thank you for this." He mumbled finally, his hands folded neatly in his lap as he looked at the other boy in the seat. He managed a faint smile at the swearing and then looked back down at his feet, his eyes catching sight of the blood on the bottom of his shirt. He felt a little faint and looked away again, hoping that the other wasn’t just being kind to him so that he could hurt him like the other people did.

"I appreciate it."

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

Leonard pulled into the car park, a rare smile turning up his lips as he glanced over to Spock. He hated seeing someone look so lost, so afraid when they should have no reason to be. He couldn't work out quite why he had decided to help him, but he didn't bother lingering on that question.

"Don't mention it, kid. C'mon." He slid out of the car, slamming the door shut and taking a minute to stretch his neck, playing idly with the stud in his tongue. The smell of food wafted from the diner, and he suddenly realised how hungry he was.

"This place is the best in the city," he enthused, waiting for Spock to get out before he looked the car door. He headed straight for the doors, flashing the waitress a lopsided smile before going to a booth at the back.

Leonard grabbed the menu, flicking idly through the pages despite knowing the damn thing nearly off of the top of his head.

"What d'you fancy?" 

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

        "Gimme a minute."

[nigermviduam]

Sometimes other Rpers forget

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

That our muses want breaks too.

That real life comes before role-play.

That sometimes, I’m in the mood to do a certain threads more then others.

That I’m scattered brained, and human. So I might have misplaced our thread.

That RP is a stress relief, not a stress giver. So don’t force me to reply.

That my Muse has feelings too, and isn’t just here for your goals, wants and amusement.

And last, that the mun may be sweet, but that doesn’t mean I should be walked over.

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Nerd!Spock & Punk!Bones; CLOSED

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Spock looked up, wiping his eyes a little and nodding, looking down at his bag again and leaning against the window of the car. He felt sick to his stomach, and he turned to look McCoy, his palms now flat on his dark jeans as he looked at the other.

"That would be… Nice." He managed softly, lifting his head to make it seem like he hadn’t been crying a few moments ago - and he had to get his control back into place before he got hurt. "Thank you. You do not have to." He whispered again, hugging his bag to his chest.

"My father will not notice if I am late." He blurted out suddenly. "He does not notice much." Was an afterthought, but it still fell from his lips - and once he’d started he couldn’t stop. "Since my mother died he does not much care for what I do. He does not notice me. Or this." He gestured to the blood on his shirt.

"In a way I am grateful." He murmured, but his voice was getting a lot lower and weaker. "But I would like him to care… I miss her too. I miss her more than he could know." The last words were whispered, as he knew he’d said too much.

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

Leonard listened in a gentle silence, knowing that these words weren't spoken lightly. His heart ached with sympathy for the kid, and he wondered how much daily abuse he had suffered, only to be invisible when he got back home. He wondered what had happened to Spock's mother -- but he didn't ask. He knew what his own reaction would be if anyone mentioned his slowly dying father, and he wasn't even thinking about what would happen when his fighting for his life came to its inevitable end.

"People grieve in different ways," he said finally, pausing to wave a rude gesture at another driver, "Doesn't mean it's right, or wrong -- but you're his kid. He should care, he should be lookin' out for you."

He wasn't sure how that would be taken, so he lapsed back into silence, heading to a diner that he knew on the edge of town. It was a nice place with kind staff and a delicious varied menu. He spent most of his time there when he had to get away to think, escape reality for a while.

Maybe it would be good for Spock to go there too. 

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Bedside notes; CLOSED

[exstelliss-deactivated20140608]

Spock looked at him and buried his face in his neck, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him to his chest, his fingers running up and down his spine as gently as he could. He wrapped his arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips, a little unable to shake how afraid he had been before saying those words.

"Thank you." He whispered softly, stroking his hair as gently as he could possibly manage, curling his fingers through the strands that he had so often dragged through in the heat of the moment. But now it was something different, something so different and perfect that he could barely believe it.

"I was so scared." He whispered, burying his face in his neck and taking a shivering breath in, nuzzling him.

"I was so scared." He repeated, holding him close.

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

Leonard kissed him back softly and held him tight, planting affectionate kisses all over the top of his head and to the tips of his ears. He knew it must have taken courage for Spock to admit the depth of his feelings, and he felt absurdly happy that after all this time, someone had found him worthy of loving again.

"You don't need to be scared, darlin'," he murmured, rubbing soothing circles on the soft skin of his back, "I love you, an' I have for a long time. You've got me head over heels."

It was true, and he hoped that through the skin to skin contact that Spock would be able to feel the honesty in his words, to be a little less afraid. Leonard couldn't imagine living without Spock -- and loving him came as easy as breathing, these days. At first it had been terrifying, and it still was -- but he knew that they could do anything they wanted, as long as they were together.

[taehyyun]

star trek + places

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

"I trust you."

Leonard raised his eyes to meet Nyota’s with a surprised, yet pleased smile. He gave her a nod, removing his gloves and tossing them in the trash."I appreciate that," he said honestly, "Thanks, Nyota."

[xenolinguistiics]

She grinned and wondered who on this ship didn’t trust him. Most of the crew dreaded coming in for physicals, but Nyota was always on time if not a little early. Might as well get it over with.

"You’re welcome, Len."

   ”Tell me. Does Jim still throw a fit over hypos?” 

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

A soft chuckle reverberated through his chest, and he shook his head with an exasperated fondness that everyone felt towards their Captain.

"Of course he does," he snorted, rolling his aching shoulders, "I think he does it just to annoy me, if m'honest. "

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

on hiatus, for the moment -- come and bug me here. I love you all!

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

exmccoy replied to your post:is anyone online & want to do a short fluffy/funny...

[ *raises hand* If you’re willing. ]

oh i'd love to! would you want to do it once they were married or after the divorce?

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

is anyone online & want to do a short fluffy/funny thread? i'm having trouble with my muse atm.

[sloanemark-deactivated20150612]

Star Trek Alphabet: A - Starfleet Academy

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

thank you all so much guys, you're all so fricking sweet. i wouldn't leave here rashly, & honestly i'd hate to give up on all the fun! fingers crossed if i get more threads, i won't feel quite so tempted to.

[imaythrowuponyou-blog]

getting so tempted to leave the trek rp fandom. no one seems to want me around here anyway.

[abrideoffire-archived-deactivat]

au where instead of having your soulmate’s name tattooed on your wrist, each pair has a unique birthmark ( like a moon or a star or maybe it looks like a hotdog idek ) in the same spot on their body (n˘v˘•)¬ 

[oniric-multimuse-rp]

Grab a marker and write something on my muse! ( Anywhere over my muse's body. )