It’s A Running Joke

at least, that’ll be the excuse whenever something I write turns out cringe :]

[imcringeonpurpose]

Introduction

Hello there!

I am Helomo ("hello mo"). Lom works too ("loam"), or H. You may also call me Cringe.

I used to be @.helomopomelo and before that, @.blackened-and-dwarfed

I write Hermitcraft or Life series headcanons and small drabbles.

[imcringeonpurpose]

He stood there, in the middle of the room of which had once belonged to Cub, and he clenched his fists, and he pursed his lips, and he tried not to cry.

His imagination ran wild, ran rampant, ran crazy. He could still hear his own name being called in a low drawl, sliding into his ears like a snake slithering over metal.

Mumbo.... Mumbo.... Mumbo...

He could still see pink smoke billowing into the tenth floor, the final floor, the floor he'd run to and the floor he'd trapped himself in. Still felt the burn in the back of his throat as he inhaled, still felt the swaying of the ground beneath him as he lost consciousness, still saw those burning pink eyes and a flash of soft-red feathers.

He was being ridiculous. He tried to tell himself that: he was being ridiculous.

Out of a desire to put a stop to the motley of horrors that his mind was taking him to, or maybe simply because he just couldn't help himself, he called out, "Scar?"

The creaking of the floorboards and the squeaking of the wheelchair wheels paused. He waited for Scar to wheel back down the hallway and into the room, and instead, Scar called from the hallways, unmoving: "Yes?"

"What did... How did... I mean-" He floundered, unable to come up with the right words to say. He never knew the right words to say. Grian had been-

No, nobody. Nobody had been anything. Nothing at all.

There had been no silent suffering for months, no bags under anyone's eyes, no torture written in harsh lines across the tired creases of someone's face, no slow rotting right before Mumbo's eyes.

Mumbo had stayed quiet about nothing. He had struggled to find the right words to comfort no one. He had allowed no one to crumble and decay under what must've felt like years of ignored agony.

He told himself so, he told himself so again and again; he wore it over his heart like a thin, protective film, as if he could hold back the tides of pain and regret washing over him with his bare hands.

He hesitated for so long that he worried Scar would lose his patience - which was not something Mumbo had ever seen him do, but the past few months, due to the actions of nobody, had changed him and Scar completely and irreversibly - so at last he gave up the futile attempt to tactfully approach the subject and instead spoke the first words his lips would allow him to.

"You're back in your wheelchair."

It wasn't a question, but it was.

"Oh. Yeah," Scar replied. His voice was toneless, which alone betrayed more surprise, hurt, and possibly anger than anything else. "I am."

The creaking in the hallway started up again as long-unused wheels rolled down the floorboards. Mumbo panicked.

"Well, no, I mean- I just meant that, y'know- That's great, actually!" His smoke-burned throat seared in agony, but he raised his voice anyway, struggling to be heard. Copper trickled over his tongue. "I was just wondering, y'know, since Hotguy doesn't-"

"Hotguy and I are not the same person, Mumbo." It was a very curt interruption, and it made Mumbo flinch.

The floorboards continued to creak.

"Right, well- Yeah, of course- I know. I was just wondering," he managed to persist. His fists clenched harder until the pale skin around his knuckles turned, impossibly, even whiter.

(He had not seen the sun in months.)

"Did... Did... y'know... Did... Grian do that to you?"

Finally, he gave voice to the thing that had been tormenting him since the moment he had been welcomed into Scar's hideaway hut, and, for the first time, silence enveloped the hut as the creaking of the floorboards stopped and the crazed whispers that had never really left Mumbo's ears after Grian's torment grew quiet and the whole world held its breath with him as he crossed his fingers like a child and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed.

He was, in essence, searching for the tiny glimmer among the dust. He prayed it would come.

"No," Scar said. "No, I chose this." Just as the world began to feel kind again, he added, "Grian couldn't hurt me like that," and the reminder of what Mumbo had lost pierced his heart like an... arrow.

But "I don't think that's true - not anymore, at least" wasn't a sentence that should be uttered in the middle of amending a rusted, ruined friendship, so Mumbo forced out puffs of air in what he hoped sounded like a genuine laugh. He couldn't see it, but the air felt warmer, and he knew Scar was smiling. Perhaps it was even a real smile.

"Goodnight, Mumbo."

"Yep" was all he could muster back.

[imcringeonpurpose]

While I may have a slight obsession with Martyn unconsciously taking on the physical traits of the people he's loyal to,

this post got me thinking... what if Martyn does it on purpose?

Ren is a dog hybrid? Maybe Ren makes a few jokes about Martyn only being an "honorary pack member"? Well, Martyn gets kinda huffy and puffy about it so guess what he's a dog hybrid too now, ears to tail. Is he good enough for your pack now, or should he start howling?

Scott gives Jimmy the Pufferfish of Peace? Well, Martyn can look yellow too, yknow! And he can also be a pufferfish hybrid!! Take that you canary feather duster >:[

[imcringeonpurpose]

Good morning

Please picture a very feral Martyn crouched over a barely-conscious Scott. His gold ear fins are pinned to the sides of his head, brilliant yellow scales catch the dim light of dying candles. He snarls a challenge to anyone who dares to hurt his friend.

Blood gushes down from Scott’s wrists and ankles, where his attempts to free himself from the iron manacles had tore his flesh to the bone. He lays on his back, too weak to move. Barely strong enough to keep his eyelids open,

and all he can see is Jimmy. With his puffed-out yellow wings that protect his ears, and a scruff of lemon-colored feathers that protrude from his neck, glittering in the light. He hisses and slashes at every incoming threat.

Feral. Yellow. Loyal.

[imcringeonpurpose]

Changed usernames again

Used to be @.helomopomelo

[imcringeonpurpose]

I'm sorry but Scott gives Jimmy the Pufferfish of Peace??

and his sea monster influence on Martyn turns him into a pufferfish hybrid????

we cannot just pretend that Scott is okay - that man is sobbing under the blankets, and Martyn is pretending not to hear

(no but seriously though do you think, when Martyn betrays Scott, that all he can really see is Jimmy? do you think maybe, as Scott stares numbly at Martyn and the sword stabbed through his stomach, that, just for a second, the world goes grey? and the only color is the red on the sword and the coral in Martyn's hair.)

[imcringeonpurpose]

could you imagine Scar charging at Bdubs, sword in hand? Cowering at half a heart, nothing to do but uselessly hold his hand to his stomach and try to stop the flowing blood. Scar swings his sword, and Bdubs looks away.

a loud, disgusting CRUNCH echoes through the night air, and Bdubs tenses. He waits for the pain to register, but it doesn't. He opens his eyes to see a few drops of blood decorating the grass beneath him. He waits again for the pain to come, and still, it doesn't.

He looks up and sees Etho standing over him, fury spelled across his face. More blood drips down from his knuckles, which he had used to block Scar's sword.

[imcringeonpurpose]

wonder if the people in their reblog tags losing their minds over my random silly posts know how much I love them

[imcringeonpurpose]

keeping my ideas of Martyn inheriting physical traits from Ren and Scott,

could you imagine Martyn, towards the end of Double Life, as his name bleeds red, runs back to Cleo? And he weaves a story of loyalty and devotion, which Cleo sees through like glass.

He would run to Ren to protect him, Cleo knows. But Cleo also knows he only runs to her because his blood bleeds red.

But she will believe him - or, at least, she will tell Martyn she believes him - because she is red too, and keeping her soulbound partner is key in such desperate times. And both of them will pretend to protect the other, and both of them will pretend to believe each other.

But after Martyn gains his pufferfish influence from Scott, she will find him. She will find him late at night, when even the wind and the moon is quiet. She will ask him, “Did you care for me?”

And he will tell her, “You were my life.”

And she wishes she could accept it - wishes that, once again, she could tell him she believes him, wishes that she could walk away.

But she will not walk away. Instead, she will ask, “Martyn, why didn’t you have zombie features?”

[imcringeonpurpose]

the idea that Martyn takes on Ren and Scott's dog and sea monster characteristics is really serotonin-giving to me because could you imagine Ren's absolute delight when he first finds out?

"You're a dog hybrid?" he would ask. Martyn would turn to him and get very confused.

"Of course not," he'd say. And Ren would gesture to his very obvious dog ears and tail. Martyn dashes to the mirror and gapes in astonishment. He shakes his head, puzzled, and turns to Ren. "I.. I don't know what's going on."

Ren finds it absolutely adorable, claiming that his Hand's devotion to him clearly inspired this physical show of alliance and outright loyalty. Martyn would deny each claim Ren makes, and the rest of the server just assumes he's a dog hybrid.

The assumption is further proven when Martyn and Cleo have their very souls tied together, and Martyn's physical appearance doesn't shift in the slightest. If anything, his dog attributes heighten, him developing sharp fangs, claws, and his dog ears slowly move down from his head and merge with his human ears.

Martyn's hybridity doesn't come up until another Series. Once again, they're pulled from their worlds, ripped from their realities, forced into one arena. This time, they're told to fight and kill and desperately grasp for each passing second of life and blood.

Martyn and Scott find a sliver of peace together, and for the first time since 3rd Life, Martyn's physical features change. It's very slow at first - a few yellow scales on his forearm and neck, his dog ears begin to grow serrated edges...

And then, like with Ren, one day they wake up to a full-blown pufferfish hybrid, and Scott cannot wrap his head around it.

"I thought you were a dog hybrid," he'll say. And Martyn will just shake his head, tired of the speculation and the questioning. Scott will persist, and he will ask, "Are you a changeling?"

"No," Martyn will say. He will take his axe from his inventory and heft it in his hands. Despite his dog claws, despite his new pufferfish spikes on his knuckles, he will continue to fight with the axe Ren had given him all those lives ago. "Just a knight."

[imcringeonpurpose]

Please take time out of your life to consider Ren can shapeshift into multiple dogs if he wants, but the more dogs he shifts into, the greater the toll it takes on his health.

Once upon a time, perhaps, he was a pack of dogs that rained from the sky like shadow engulfing the land after night. But now, he shifts into one, lonely dog, whose shaggy fur and rippling muscles are underscored by long, bumpy scars. The very depiction of exhaustion and over-fighting.

[imcringeonpurpose]

AU with Ren as a prince-in-line who witnessed the atrocities committed in the name of Royalty. He runs away from the Empire and begins the Red Revolution.

His right-hand man is Martyn, and knight who was dishonorably discharged after refusing explicit orders to "take no prisoners." Martyn acts as Ren's general.

The Red Army - initially called the Renchantments, which was changed after the small group of rebels grew larger and larger - arms each and every one of their soldiers with enchanted weapons and armor (in the Empire, only royalty is allowed access to an enchanting table).

And perhaps Martyn and Ren fall in love, but war keeps both of them too busy to notice.

Over the years, the war takes a toll on Ren just as being a prince of the Empire did. No matter what, murder would always be murder, and blood would always be red. And the screams that lit the night in a wretched chorus haunt Ren just as they did when he was Royalty.

So he runs.

He finds a small, isolated village far away, and decides to hide there until the war was over. He confesses this to Martyn quietly one night.

Perhaps they were too busy to notice, but they fell in love. And Martyn quietly confesses his love. And Ren quietly confesses it back.

Perhaps they fell in love, but there was too much at stake. Martyn stays to fight the war, and Ren leaves before his sanity gave away completely.

Ren leaves Martyn his battle horse, Winter. Martyn swears to find Ren once the war was over.

But when the war is over, and Martyn makes the long, perilous trip to the village Ren ran to all those years ago... He finds that the Empire had ransacked, murdered, and burned the village to the ground. They had, somehow, tracked down Ren during the war, and sent soldiers to kill him, once and for all.

Bodies, long since rotted and unrecognizable, are piled in the center of the village. So, Martyn does the one thing he can do. He clings to the desperate hope that Ren is not among those bodies. That Ren escaped and is still out there, waiting for his knight, just as promised. And that Martyn must find him.

He tries to set Winter free, but the horse refuses, running away before Martyn can take the saddle off.

And so together, the two warriors search the land for their King.

[imcringeonpurpose]

Scott and Tango put up a facade of squabbling with each other over Jimmy until he lets down his guard. Then they suddenly turn and both kiss him and Jimmy_Brain.exe will get back to you in about 5 business days, thank you for your patience

[imcringeonpurpose]

Building further off of this, Tango's rods return to tattoos when they're cool enough. He can force them to lie down when they're still burning, but they'll burn his skin.

Although Tango can shoot fire at will, his blaze rods can also sometimes accidentally spit them off, like muscle spasms. This usually occurs when he's incredibly angry, sad, or just feeling some very strong emotion. He and Jimmy made an agreement for Jimmy to throw water on him when it looks like he can't control them.

Also, Jimmy once got hit in the chest with a fireball. After that, anytime he hears the blaze rods clinking and sparking, his first instinct is to panic and duck behind a shield. And although Jimmy gets into a lot of physical trouble and Tango can feel his pain through their link, nothing hurts Tango more than seeing the fear in Jimmy's eyes as he hides behind a shield - hides from his soulmate.

(dw tho after a few times of this happening, Tango can't help it and cries. It's just one tear, and it boils off from the sheer heat before it can drip down his chin. But Jimmy notices anyway and grows a little concerned. He brings it up later and assures Tango that he doesn't blame him for the accident; it was an accident, after all. Tango mentions he doesn't want Jimmy to feel unsafe around his own soulmate, and Jimmy pulls out his trusty water bucket and smacks it a few times, implying that he has ways to be safe and doesn't need to be afraid. The water sloshes out and drenches them both, and Jimmy laughs and grins that stupid grin of his. And suddenly, Tango knows everything will be alright.)

[tuxedodan]

someone could literally stay in a 1x1 dirt block hole for the entirety of a life series season and y'all would be like "sloopaploopa isolated himself to keep the ones he loves safe but it failed him in the end....no matter what he does it'll always end here.....he will never escape the hole 😭😭😭" and reblog it ten million times

[moon1ee]

can we talk about how crazily devoted to his team joel "is eternally lonely in every life series" smallishbeans is to the bad boys?

screeching YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR GRIAN!!! and panicking the second anything happens to him? shoving people off bridges and threatening them after they try and attack jimmy? that incredibly smooth disarming of a tnt minecart and his absolute rabid kill on martyn after he stole grian? plus the way he was visibly restraining himself from killing people after getting turned back green was so funny.

he's absolutely batshit insane and devoted to a goal and it's so interesting to see that single-minded focus turned on protecting a group of people.

[imcringeonpurpose]

Tango has tattoos of blaze rods on his arms and back.

It's not until the Ranch burns down that people realize they're not just tattoos. They're real, firey blaze rods that sputter and spark and burn their way off Tango's flesh, rising and spinning and flaming as Jimmy desperately tries to calm him down. Every now and then, the rods hum and tremble with energy and spin faster and faster. Fire ricochets off the rods, growing with each rod it comes into contact with, until three shots of rage and fire explode from the ring of blaze rods.

Jimmy ducks behind his shield, and it's the fear in his eyes that brings Tango back down to earth. When it appears safe enough, Jimmy throws a bucket of water on him, cooling his blaze rods down. They eventually crack and explode in one large burst of fire, returning back to Tango's skin as innocent tattoos.

On a completely unrelated side note, the last thing a lot of Scar's pandas hear is three fast wooshes and the crackle of fire.