yan!crybaby!prince x gn!knight!reader
warnings: mention of gore, wounds, yandere behavior obvs wc: 952
beaten and bloody, the whole world looks red and blurry.
the soft lights around you are starburst. you can hear your prince through the incessant ringing in your ears but his words are confusing and unclear.
it occurs to you, in your daze, that your prince is alive. and alive is much better than dead.
you reach out and he catches your hand.
yan!prince later explained what happened. this was days after and he kept biting his nails. his monologue quickly off-tracked until it was entirely made up of sobs. (you had to figure out from context that there was a group of assassins and you suffered some lacerations and blunt force trauma. you'd be fine). he crawled into your bed and continued to sob for hours upon hours. you were still recovering and tired but found it in yourself to stay awake and endure his cries. he was gone before you woke the next morning.
yan!prince has been⦠on edge. or perhaps, torn apart would be the right term. over the next few weeks, you watch him close.
ever since your little incident, he's been more prone to fits of melancholy than you've ever seen before. often, he'll stop dead in the middle of sentences, overcome by some terrible feeling and begin sobbing.
yan!prince finds it impossible to sleep. the dark settles over him like a noose yet he doesn't call for you. he doesn't dare approach your door. he knows it is only a matter of time now, for you to realize that being with him isn't worth any of the trouble. so he will toss and turn until the sun rises, sure to be alone again.
being alone would be so much more difficult than it ever has been because he's had you and experienced the security of a someone who loves you. going back would be hell. being without you would be hell.
and sure; he could and willāif he mustāstop you from leaving. he has riches and guards, resources galore but your presence wouldn't mean anything if you no longer cared for him. if he lost the only person who ever cared for him.
yan!prince triesāwith little successāto be exuberantly kind and happy to your face. he needs you but moreso, needs you to want to stay. he doesn't know how much you do want to.
it's late. you're recovered by now with minimal scarring. (thanks to the royal medical team including all the doctors the prince wept to). he has relieved you from most of your typical duties, regardless. after all his failed attempts of being cheery toward you, he's simply chosen to avoid you instead. at first you thought that he'd get over this with time but after weeks, he's still making himself scarce.
so here you are, past midnight, shooing the knight standing outside his bedroom away. you open the door and step inside.
you click the door shut behind you. the large room is tidy and proper as always. there's some soft moonlight, a soft breeze coming from the window that he's technically not permitted to open, the sound of cricket chirping as well. and in the center of the room, there he is. sitting atop his bed on the side closest to you, lying in his orange sheets: your prince.
he glances back at you and quickly away. "I didn't call for you," he murmurs.
"I know." you stroll over to the window, closing it. "something I do not understand, my liege, is that I have been cleared for duty for over a week and yet no assignments have been sent my way."
he sighs. his voice is soft and quite tired. whether from the lateness of the day or a previous crying fit, you're unsure. "you are asking to be sent to a different assignment?"
"I am asking why you refuse to see me. I am meant to be your knight." you walk over to sit beside him, pulling him into your arms. he doesn't retaliate, simply slumping into you like a sack of flour.
silence catches the air for a few seconds, and when he begins to speak, his voice is fraught as if trying not to cry. "⦠I was terrified to see you hurt, my knight. All that blood, all over your armor, I justāI just couldn't bear it! those bodies strewn across the floor, the⦠the gore of it all!" he hugs you tightly. you feel his tears trickle down your neck. "and I was certain you'd despise me. I was useless. it was all my fault, I froze like a doe and not a scratch on me! I hate to be the way I am! everyone thinks I choose to be this way and that's not true. I was frightened you'd die. and if you had, all the fault would lie with me."
"this is my job, my prince. it's always been a possibility."
"you don't understand." he pulls away, desperate to explain himself. desperate for you to truly grasp what he's saying. he wants more than anything to choke out the words; to not freeze again. because this time, he knows it'd kill him. "I love you."
he wholeheartedly weeps when you don't answer immediately. the lack of reassurance crushes down on him.
"my liege⦠Tavion, I love you too, alright? I do. don't think any differently." you wrap him back up in your arms. "if I had to die for you, that'd be just fine. I promise. it's alright."
and with that, all is right in the world again.
tag: @readingbutunproductive (thank you for the idea! hope you enjoy)
an: sorry this is actually kinda depressing, trying to figure out if love only exists in vacuums and diaries