🦚 feligami and the cycle of abuse 🐉
since yaksi gozen came out, i’ve been wanting to put together a full analysis of the themes of parental projection and the cycle of abuse in feligami, so that is what im here doing today. ٩(^‿^)۶
disclaimer: i am no expert of psychology i am merely a highschool senior who likes writing and research
what is parental projection?
parental projection occurs when a parent projects their own fears, insecurities, or unfulfilled dreams onto their child, seeing them as a reflection of themselves or a “clean slate” to which they can rectify their own mistakes. this can lead to controlling and abusive behaviors that can negatively impact a child’s development.
what is the intergenerational cycle of abuse?
the intergenerational cycle of abuse refers to violence or abuse that is originally perpetrated by parents, caregivers, or siblings and is repeated by a child in their adult life. essentially, children who grow up experiencing or witnessing violence are more likely to become perpetrators or victims themselves.
both amelie and tomoe are heavily implied to be victims of domestic violence.
from representation, we can conclude that amelie was married off to a “wealthy, though heartless, lord of war” (aka colt fathom rest in piss). felix also says that “the king, the queen, and the lord” dreamed of a child for amelie, an heir. felix deliberately leaves his mother out in this line, suggesting that she had never wanted a child in the first place. we can see this in the way felix’s entire creation is orchestrated by colt. the amok is sent by colt to his own ring. the implication here being that he basically impregnated amelie without her consent. when we see amelie pregnant in the play, colt cannot even bring himself to touch her, unlike millie and emilie, symbolizing the detached and abusive nature of their marital relationship.
in the s4 episode gabriel agreste, amelie wears a bunny mask to gabriel’s party. in the play during representation, we see felix playing with a stuffed bunny while he narrates “and if he became fond of anyone who displeased his father… an order from his father was enough to trouble his feelings.” we then see the bunny ripped apart, symbolizing the abuse amelie faced from colt. we can go even further and say that this abuse was punishment for her getting too close to felix, who colt had already deemed a “monster” at this point.
in yaksi gozen, it is revealed that tomoe, too, has had past experiences with men. during a flashback, in a call with gabriel, she laments that she has been disappointed by men her entire life, going on to say that she wants kagami to have a “prince charming as perfect as she is,” making sure to specify that he must be obedient.
felix is both a victim of and a witness to family violence. studies show that boys who are exposed to domestic violence during childhood are more likely to engage in domestic violence later on.
one of the recurring themes in miraculous is the idea that children can break the cycles in their family. that they don't have to follow the same path as their parents. naturally, this is a theme heavily present in felix’s story, particularly in emotion.
when felix took his anger out on the entire world during the red moon incident, he had become his father. which is something he realizes when he fails to bring back marinette, someone both adrien and kagami care for deeply, and the first person he ever decided to trust. when he sees the three of them hugging, he realizes that he has been denying himself that kind of love and connection, just as his father had done to him. which is why he resolves to follow kagami—somebody he felt a strong connection with—in the next episode. (which is not the most Sane thing i know. but hes trying ok?)
despite felix trying very hard to make a change and be a Good Guy, he fucks up again by kidnapping kagami. (whoopsie) except this time, he apologizes for breaking her boundaries and explains that he simply wanted to save her from a stressful situation with her mother, but that he won't do it again.
it is from here on that consent plays a major role in their relationship. during the unfolding of their plan in representation, felix checks multiple times to make sure kagami is still with the plan, specifically when he sends an amok into her ring—which goes to show just how much trust they have in each other.
now, felix is truly on his way to breaking the cycle (☝️) and never allowing himself to behave as his father did towards him and his mother.
a prominent theme in kagami’s arc is perfection, and the act of achieving perfection, something that has been expected of her since she was born (and probably before that lmao). in yaksi gozen, we get a better idea of tomoe’s motivations, and why she imposes such lofty expectations upon her daughter.
it’s because she is projecting.
tomoe projects her own trauma and anxiety about men onto kagami’s relationship with felix, which leads her to resort to controlling and abusive behavior. when kagami lashes out at her, it's not just her saying “but mother i love him” like we’re in some kind of romantic drama, it’s kagami putting her foot down and reaffirming the fact that her life belongs to her and nobody else. (which is something she learned from felix btw. if you even care)
in the patriarchal society in which we live, men undeniably can and will hold power over women, especially in romantic relationships. the problem with tomoe’s logic arises, however, when you consider that:
1. she herself is guilty of wanting to have control over people. in this very episode tomoe works with lila to get felix’s ring. to take control of him. not to mention the fact that she was comfortable setting kagami and adrien up together specifically because he could be controlled. this is, of course, a manifestation of her trauma, but it also makes her a massive hypocrite.
2. Literally everything about feligami’s relationship
in her relationship with felix, kagami takes the lead. she calls the shots. she decides what they’re going to do and when they’re going to do it. (this isn’t to say felix never takes initiative because he does, that’s one of the reasons kagami loves him)
the plan to put the rings into ladybug’s yoyo was entirely kagami’s idea, as seen in their video call before meeting up. once they do meet up, kagami takes felix’s hand and leads him to their destination, which he happily goes along with. kagami is given a lot of agency by the narrative regarding their relationship, agency which felix respects in its entirety because he knows exactly what it’s like to not have control over your own life. felix does not view kagami as a damsel in distress with whom he has a duty to protect (although he absolutely does protect her; and kagami does the same for him) he very well knows how capable she is, especially with her miraculous.
there is also the fact that the absolute trust kagami puts in felix is not one-sided in the slightest.
just as kagami trusts felix with her life, felix trusts kagami equally with his own. notice the contrast between when kagami had his ring and when adrien (bless his heart) had it, and how felix’s first course of action when he was unfrozen was to check if kagami was alright and reunite with her, THEN get his ring back.
kagami and felix are breaking the cycle one dramatic romantic gesture at a time and we love that for them. this also fits right in with the overarching narrative of season 6, which is always good ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"
