5 ALTERNATIVES TO THE PRO BOWL
It’s offical, the Pre-Super Bowl hand job known as the Pro Bowl, hit its lowest ratings in 10 years. Roughly the same amount of people who watched the weeks re-run of The Big Bang theory saw Team Irvin crush Team Rice 49-27. It’s not that we shouldn’t honor the best in the game, but we have to face reality, the NFL is a dangerous sport. Each play carries a large risk of a career ending injury. Even played at half speed the amount of bodies falling on top of each other makes it riskier than a Tom Cruise stunt in a Mission Impossible film. Why take a chance with your career when there is no starting or even a chance of stopping the Syndicate? Thus, the players aren’t invested, and if they’re not, we’re not.
Thus the question: How do you honor the best in the game and put on an entertaining show? Here are 5 suggestions that is sure to make it a real Pro Bowl a ratings juggernaut.
TALENT SHOW / CIRCUS OF THE STARS - What if when you get voted to the Pro Bowl you are paired with a circus master and we do a show ala Circus of the Stars. Would you rather watch Adrian Peterson bust through a line of people half heartedly trying to tackle him OR watch him train a lion! Anyone can whip a boy, but can he whip a lion into shape?!?
AMERICAN GLADIATORS - Defense, you’re the gladiators. Offense, you run the course. Let’s celebrate pro athletes by shooting them with tennis balls. If not this then can we at least try a Legends Of The Hidden Temple tournament?
PRO BOWL: THE MUSICAL - It’s hard to deny that all the buzz on social media Monday was not about Team Irvin crushing Team Rice, but it’s about Grease: The Musical. Obviously there is an appetite for it so I say let’s do a Pro Bowl Musical. You have some of the most gifted athletes in the world they could learn choreography in a short amount of time. Instead of lame turnovers let’s see some ball changes, instead of pulling guards let’s see some heel pulls and let’s ditch the time outs in favor of time steps. The bonus is it can include the NFL’s newest employees, the cheerleaders. There are all pros in cheering too.
PAINTBALL - Despite the recent scandal of the State Department paying for Armed Forces tributes from the NFL it remains a fact that so many of the players and fans support the military. Here is a chance for the boys to dress up in military garb and shoot, rather than hit, each other. Plus who wouldn’t want to see Odell Beckham Jr. get Eli Manning in his crosshairs only to collapse, Point Break style, scream, and fire his clip into the air knowing he could never shoot his friend. Last man standing is the MVP.
THERAPY SESSIONS - During the Olympics, when tens of people watch sports they have never paid attention to before (I’m looking at you water polo) they’re made to care about the drama on the field by showing the drama of athlete's life. Seriously, I knew I would never be an Olympian when I realized you had to lose a parent, suffer a crippling injuries, or be raised by pigmy goats. My biggest obstacle was I had to learn saxophone instead of guitar. Every try wooing ladies at a party with you version of Wonderwall on the sax? However, this is the NFL, we know these players stories inside and out be it Incognito and his bully or JJ Watt and his cabin in the woods. We need to go deeper. How much more drama would it add to each game if we are wondering if Tom Brady’s daddy issues will cause him to miss an audible opportunity for a play Belichick called? Or if Eric Berry’s fear of horses will spring up during a Colts game. You’re welcome NFL. Got any other problems you need solved?













