A bad day
Part 1
Summary: Reader is having a really bad day, luckily her girlfriends are here to save the day.
Pairing: Teacher Wanda Maximoff x Teacher Natasha Romanoff x Student reader
Tags/warnings: sh, panic attack, hurt comfort, age gap - reader is 18, Wanda is 26, Natasha is 30
Word count: 2.2k
Author's Note: Hi, I finished the first part of my first fic today and I really excited about it so I'm going to post it here.😊
As soon as I woke up, I knew today was going to be a bad day.....actually, a terrible day.
A TERRIBLE day.
To be honest, for the last six months, I've had these days more often than not.
It sucks. And it's really really exhausting, but i'm kinda used to it.
But there are two things that make it better: my best friend Kate and my girlfriends Wanda and Natasha. They literally saved my life, but they don't need to know that (for now).
As every morning, I made my coffee just the way I like: half a cup of water, two teaspoons of coffee (sometimes three if I feel like it), one teaspoon of sugar (again, sometimes one and a half if I feel like it), five ice cubes (don't judge, I love my iced coffee), and I top it up with a splash of milk.
I don't understand how Americans can call their milkshake with a little bit of coffee "coffee" 'cause what the hell is that.
Sorry not sorry. (No offense if you're american)
As always, my mom is already at work.
My dad moved away when I was eleven. There was a lot of fighting between them and honestly, I'm glad it ended.
Let's say it wasn't the most pleasant thing to hear them screaming and breaking things, mostly plates.
I don't have a very good relationship with my parents. It ended when i was 14, but let's not talk about that.
I have a really good relationship with my big sister (well, my only sister). In fact I love my sister. But since she moved away, we sadly haven't had much time to see each other.
Anyway, right now's not the time to get emotional.
I'm almost late to school, like always.
My first class is Spanish with Ms. Vidal. She's young and she's kind, unlike some other teachers, but she won't put up with my tardiness forever.
But I hope she still likes me because you don't want her as your enemy.
I made it to the bus station just as the bus arrives and took a ride to school. The bus was almost empty, as always. I sat by the window in the third row from the back.
It's my FAVORITE seat. I always sit there when it's available.
I put on my earbuds and played my favorite songs.
I usually listen to kinda sad songs in the morning/evening, not necessarily because i'm sad, it's just kind of magical. It has a totally different vibe.
The ride is not long, just about 10 minutes, but it's still long enough for the thoughts to come into my head.
The thoughts started getting louder.
You're tired.
You're always tired.
How long are you going to keep pretending?
You're not normal.
You're not enough.
You're useless.
I HATE THIS.
The days when the thoughts won't go away until I do the one thing I swore I'd never do again.
I made it to school ten minutes before the first class began.
When I got to the classroom, Kate was already sitting in our usual spot - the last row by the window.
She smiled at me the second she noticed me.
"Hi y/n/n"
"Hi Katie, i missed you," I said as I hugged her.
After we let go, she looked at me, her smile turning into a frown.
"Honey, did you sleep well today?"
"Not really, but it wasn't that bad."
That's the thing about Kate, she always notices the smallest things.
People think she's just the extroverted girl with rich parents, but in fact, she's a really good friend.
Kate didn't have time to do anything else because the bell rang, signaling the start of class.
Spanish was good and we didn't even get homework.
Ms. Vidal spent the whole lesson explaining some grammar that would be boring coming from anyone else, but she has this way of making everything sound interesting.
She's a really good teacher. She actually cares about her students, not just about grades.
She always ask how we are, and if she sees that someone is sad or something, she asks what's wrong.
I answered a few questions, partly because I knew the answer and partly because I'm in love with her smile (don't tell Wanda and Nat please).
Maybe alao to show her that I actually pay attention.
When the bell rang, everyone immediately started packing their things, no homework was basically a miracle, so they didn't want to risk it.
As I walked out, she said:
"See you tomorrow, hopefully on time again."
Isn't she the funniest?
My second class today is Math with Ms. Harkness.
She's not as kind as Ms. Vidal, but she likes me because I'm not completely hopeless at math like others.
Actually I'm really good at math, but it's kinda boring.
Also, Kate has three different classes now, so that's really annoying.
After the second class, when Ms. Harkness assigned us a three-page homework assignment, my day just got even worse.
Three pages.
Three.
Pages.
I stared at the paper like it had personally offended me.
Math isn't hard for me, in fact it's pretty easy.
But homework? I hate homework.
One thing about me - I always forgot that I have homework, like, I'm not even joking.
That is probably the reason I hate homeworks, 'cause I always remember about it in the evening, when I'm already lying in bed.
Well, what can I say? Everyone has something they're not good at.
For me, it's remembering my homework.
Ms. Harkness noticed me staring at the assignment.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
"No," I said quickly. "Just appreciating how much you care about our free time."
A few people laughed, making me smile.
"Very funny."
Ha, like she wasn't smiling too.
Anyway next is English with Mr. Stark, boring like always, then History with Mr. Banner.
English was like always.
Mr. Stark was making funny jokes and trying to teach us something, but in the end, he's jst telling us storytimes and suddenly the bell is ringing.
History is the exact opposite of English.
Mr. Banner is talking, half the class is listening, and the other half is trying not to fall asleep.
Honestly, I'm usually the other half.
Then the next class is Chemistry with Mr. Rogers.
Chemistry is the last class before lunch.
That's pretty much the only positive thing about it.
And it's not even about chemistry, it's just Mr. Rogers.
I HATE him.
He's so annoying, and he's always picking on me.
For example, the whole class isn't wearing protective gear, but he only notices me, or the boys in the front are talking loudly, but he tells me off for doodling in my notebook.
And once, some guy sent me a note, and he gave ME detention!
Uhhh.
Just thinking about him drives me crazy!
Anyway, I better get to class on time before he gives me detention AGAIN.
As I walked into the class, Mr. Rogers was already there.
Instantly, my mood dropped even more.
Hopefully, today's class will be fine.
Chemistry was very unexpectedly not that bad, but now it's time for lunch.
I went to my locker and saw Kate already waiting for me.
We talked about everything that happened in class as we headed to the cafeteria.
"OMG finallyyyy, I'm so hungry!" Kate said before she started eating her sandwich.
After a few seconds, she noticed I wasn't eating anything.
"Aren't you gonna eat anything?"
"No, I forgot to pack my lunch, and seeing the things they sell here, i'd rather make something home. Besides, I'm not even hungry."
She looked at me a little concerned.
"Well, I hope you at least had breakfast."
"Yeah, of course, Katie. Stop worrying so much and hurry up, we have Health Education soon."
"Ah, I see how it is. We have 20 minutes 'till the next class, you just want to see Wanda."
"Umm, maybe."
"Okay, I'm gonna hurry just because I love you."
We got to the class 10 minutes early. Wanda, or Ms. Maximoff, was already there. As soon as she saw me, she looked concerned. I avoided her gaze the whole class.
The bad thoughts were getting louder and louder.
It didn't help that today's class was about sleep habits. Wanda kept throwing me worried glances every few minutes, of course she knew that I didn't slept last night.
I couldn't focus on anything.
As she talked, students were taking notes, but all I could do was stare at the paper in front of me.
It was like I wasn't even in my body.
It felt like I was looking at my body from far away.
Suddenly, my chest felt really tight.
It felt like the room was getting smaller, like it was closing in on me.
I panicked.
My breathing was getting harder.
The only thing in my head was:
I can't breathe.
I CAN'T breathe.
Kate immediately noticed something was wrong. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach.
"You need to breathe honey, follow my breathing," she whispered calmly.
Why do I have to be such a mess?
A burden to everybody, like my mother always says.
I saw Wanda looking my way.
She raised an eyebrow, and I could see worry in her eyes, but she kept taking to the class like nothing was happening.
And this time, I was very grateful for that.
After fifteen minutes, my breathing was back to normal, but the thoughts were even louder now and I couldn't take it anymore.
So I made a decision.
A bad decision.
I have to do it.
There's no other way to stop the thoughts.
I need to do IT.
After the class ended, Wanda wanted to talk to me, but berofe she could tell me to stay, I quickly hurried out of the class.
Kate was right behind me.
"Are you okay y/n/n?"
"Yes, Katie. It was just a long day, don't worry about me, please."
I looked at her with pleading eyes.
"Okay, but seriously?"
"I swear. It was just a long day, nothing more."
"Come give me a hug." She said with a smile.
We were hugging when we heard:
"Hey, that's my girlfriend, don't steal her from me."
"Hi baby, I missed you," said Kate as she hugged Yelena.
"Hi Lena, how was your trip?" I asked as I hugged her too.
"Yeah, it was nice seeing mom after a while. She was a little sad that Tasha didn't come, but it was nice."
"Well, we should head to the gym. I don't want to see Romanoff's face if I'm late," I laughed.
"Hey don't laugh, she likes you," Kate pointed at me, "and you're her sister," Kate pointed at Yelena, "but she's not gonna be nice to me."
"Hey, don't try to pull those cards, you know very well that she's not gonna be nice to any of us if we're late," Yelena said.
"Well, that's why I'm saying we should go."
”Go ahead, I'll just use the restroom real quick,” I told them eagerly.
Kate looked at me skeptically, like she wanted to say something.
Then she sighed deeply.
”Okay, but don't take too long, you know how Romanoff is when you're late, i'm scared for you," she said as they headed to the gym.
I quickly went to the restroom, eager to finally relieve myself. I knew it wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, but right now I didn't give a fuck.
I just fucking need to do IT.
I checked all the stalls, then went to the last one and locked the door.
I sat down on the floor, my back against the wall.
I pulled a razor blade out of the front pocket of my jeans, pulled my jeans down just enough, to reveal my thighs.
My thighs, full of scars, some of them old, some newer.
For second all I felt was guilt.
Guilt that I did it so many times, guilt that i'm about to do it again, but then the thoughts came back and the guilt was forgotten.
I took the razor and started.
One cut.
Two cuts.
Three.
Four.
Five.
ENOUGH.
I tried not to cut too deep so I wouldn't bleed, but a few of them started bleeding anyway.
Fuck.
That's the last thing I needed right now.
How ironic, right?
Now I'm really glad I put those band-aids in my backpack, just in case something happened.
I quickly took care of the cuts.
When I was done, I looked at the time.
FUCK.
The next class starts at 1:45 p.m. It's 1:40 p.m. now.
I ran - literally ran - to the gym, and I made it just in time.
Lucky me.
I was feeling a little dizzy, but I figured it was because of the running.
Natasha, or Ms. Romanoff, was in a good mood today.
That's a good sign.
Maybe she won't make us run laps today.
Okay, now I'm just lying to myself.
Of course she made us run laps.
I'm starting to feel even more dizzy.
I probably should have eaten something before class.
Fucking hell.
My head is pounding.
I'm starting to feel lightheaded.
My vision is getting darker.
Oh no, no, no, no, please, not now.
The last thing I saw was the worried face of my girlfriend.