[imp]

ok i would never have a pet i feel like that's so insane at this point. but i would work at an animal shelter so i could be around them still but not have to like pay for their medical expenses and food and clean up their mess constantly and whatnot. im realizing this is also why i worked at preschools and in general wanted to work with kids. i love being caring for a few hours and then clocking out. im the world's first absent parent

[poopjournalist]

[imp]

[imp]

we need to hack into the mainframe and bypass the firewall of evolution so that it starts favoring people who dont breed

[mewwon]

has anyone else noticed that birds just don’t give a fuck any more? they will sing and chirp at 1am nowadays

[whip-cream-and-fruit]

I cant stop eating spoonfuls of whip cream i just crave the sensation

[benevolentgh0st-deactivated2016]

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

[deadgenerations]

I miss chat posts

[imp]

it's called the euphoric blockbuster and it's supposed to make special k look weak

[imp]

[imp]

i dont trust you if you put celery in tuna. jsut eat the tuna plain i actually think you're a psycho if you're adding random crunchy shit. stop

[imp]

i was just looking at the linkedin profile of someone who is currently working on an accounting degree and i was like "oh wow they actually have a master's in fine arts from like 20 years ago but then they randomly went back to school for accounting this year" and lilith was like "yeah because they got tired of being a barista"

[sacred-portal]

[imp]

no but they actually were so sweet and so cold

[imp]

i just thought of this and started crying

[imp]

[offshoreoilrig]

I feel like I've been getting more dust/particles in my eye lately. Anyone relate

[imp]

btw i dont read my accounting textbook anymore because im on this course that has way too much information so if i even try to read the textbook for this one i'll become clinically insane. so im just using the review materials and practice questions only. period