[imp]

my favorite deli has a burger called "organic burger" that is literally just the same as the normal burger but is a double.. and honestly the meat seems like just beef whereas the regular burger kind of seemed like it had another meat mixed in.. although tbf that was before they changed ownership so maybe all their burgers are exactly the same now. anddd post.

[imp]

idk why i just thought of this because it hasnt happened to me in many years but i used to very regularly get extremely traumatic sleep paralysis where it felt like someone was dragging me around/pulling on my body etc. and i figured out that curling your toes works to wake your body up (for me at least). for whatever reason even though you cant actually move, curling your toes can be a low effort enough sensory transition and it would always instantly halt the paralysis and wake me up

[imp]

ok i would never have a pet i feel like that's so insane at this point. but i would work at an animal shelter so i could be around them still but not have to like pay for their medical expenses and food and clean up their mess constantly and whatnot. im realizing this is also why i worked at preschools and in general wanted to work with kids. i love being caring for a few hours and then clocking out. im the world's first absent parent

[poopjournalist]

[imp]

[imp]

we need to hack into the mainframe and bypass the firewall of evolution so that it starts favoring people who dont breed

[mewwon]

has anyone else noticed that birds just don’t give a fuck any more? they will sing and chirp at 1am nowadays

[whip-cream-and-fruit]

I cant stop eating spoonfuls of whip cream i just crave the sensation

[benevolentgh0st-deactivated2016]

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

[deadgenerations]

I miss chat posts

[imp]

it's called the euphoric blockbuster and it's supposed to make special k look weak

[imp]

[imp]

i dont trust you if you put celery in tuna. jsut eat the tuna plain i actually think you're a psycho if you're adding random crunchy shit. stop

[imp]

i was just looking at the linkedin profile of someone who is currently working on an accounting degree and i was like "oh wow they actually have a master's in fine arts from like 20 years ago but then they randomly went back to school for accounting this year" and lilith was like "yeah because they got tired of being a barista"

[sacred-portal]

[imp]

no but they actually were so sweet and so cold

[imp]

i just thought of this and started crying

[imp]